2664. Refresher Thoughts — 03


  1. You can love a person a lot and not be comfortable living with them, or even feel the bonds are breaking. Examples: a) Sex does not bond a man and even great sex can become routine or even tiresome to a woman after romantic love fades a year or two after marriage. b) When living together, likeability—the appeal and desire for the presence of the other—outweighs love as a permanent connector.
  2. Think of marriage as three interlocking domains of different sizes with these labels: Hers, his, and theirs. The label indicates who’s personally responsible for being successful to the satisfaction and admiration of their mate. (Dividing up and accepting the responsibilities is a major function of good courtship.)
  3. Men forget more easily than forgive a woman’s mistakes. Women more easily forgive than forget a man’s weaknesses.
  4. Men are producers and oriented toward producing results. Women are processors and oriented toward developing relationships. Processors usually need help from someone to produce results that support their ambitions. Men seldom need help.
  5. A man’s ambitions arise out of his need for self-admiration. The admiration of others impresses him less than his own. A woman’s ambitions arise out of her need to feel important, and feedback reinforces it.
  6. What we don’t believe about ourselves, we can’t share with others. People respect or love others no more than their self-respect or self-love.
  7. The sexes differ again. Females think unearned gifts are their due. Males don’t appreciate them. The female nature causes women to display their love too soon or offer conquest before a man has earned the privilege.
  8. Women are born with plenty self-love but they lack self-respect. They have to earn it before they can respect others, and they do it best by acting as if they are highly respected. Two customs work best when she gets her way: 1) She upholds the best method by which men and women associate romantically, namely dates and courtships. 2) She shows great but quiet determination and spunk to deny access to her sexual assets. (If women don’t have standards, men run all over them.)
  9. A man’s love is based on unconditional respect for the female gender and conditional respect for one of its members. (In today’s social marketplace, the former is sadly lacking. Women pay a huge price at the hands of men who show more disrespect than respect, who promote masculinity at the expense of femininity.)
  10. Women are the relationship experts, and men don’t get involved with relationship management. (Push men into trying it and they suffer loss of self-respect and her likeability plummets. Why? Men don’t know what’s wrong or the cause. They are either in or not in a relationship. Not to blame, it’s their nature.)

5 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

5 responses to “2664. Refresher Thoughts — 03

  1. sunshine

    number 7 is so TRUE…

  2. Sarabeth

    Thank you for comment #1. Too many ladies think sex is the glue in a lifelong marriage and therefore must test for sexual compatibility during courtship and even engagement.

  3. Beloved

    “Men seldom need help” Ha! Could not be LESS TRUE! If it were God Almighty would never have gone to the trouble to make him a “HELPmeet.”.

    Your Highness Beloved,

    I’m unsure which way you blame men, so I will address both.

    “’Men seldom need help’. Ha! Could not be LESS TRUE!” Men are born too independent and self-sufficient to need help very often. If you’re exposed to men who need help all the time, look to the lessons they learned in life dealing with women.

    “If it were God Almighty would never have gone to the trouble to make him a “HELPmeet.”. If the men you associate with lack desire to help a woman, it’s she that prompts it. She’s not grateful for them, and their reaction is to let her find solutions by herself. Again, not the male nature but lessons learned in life. Criticism never lifts a finger.

    Guy

    • Beloved

      I think both genders need the other gender. And, yet, both can survive without the other quite well. Think of single mothers with no man and children to support. Men seem to suffer more without a woman than women do without a man. And some are adamant that life is much simpler without a man. Although I don’t think it is ideal for either to be without help. That is why God created woman.

      Your Highness Beloved,

      I used to think like you. Pardon my invoking my longevity by parsing your comment IN CAPS.

      I think both genders need the other gender. I AGREE.

      And, yet, both can survive without the other quite well. ONLY BECAUSE OF PROSPERITY. IF WE END UP IN THE ECONOMIC DRUNK TANK, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

      Think of single mothers with no man and children to support. THEY ARE TURNING OUT MOST OF THE UNDESIRABLES AND CRIMINALS.

      Men seem to suffer more without a woman than women do without a man. I AGREE IF YOU CALL IT DISCONTENT AND DISSATISFACTION WITH THEIR LIVES INSTEAD OF THEY SUFFER.

      And some are adamant that life is much simpler without a man. THOSE WHO LOSE ALWAYS HAVE RATIONALIZATIONS TO EXPLAIN WHY THEY DON’T WIN. WOMEN ALSO HAVE AN EGO.

      Although I don’t think it is ideal for either to be without help. That is why God created woman. I DISAGREE. GOD CREATED MEN TO HELP WOMEN WITHIN MUTUALLY EXCHANGED AND VERY DIFFERENT ABILITIES AND DIVERSE MOTIVATIONS. THAT’S WHY MEN ARE ONLY DOMINANT BUT THE SUPERIOR SEX HAS THE ABILITY THAT BOTH TAME AND RECRUIT THE HELP OF MEN.

      WHILE WE SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY, WE ARE STILL ON THE SAME PAGE OF EXPLAINING HUMAN NATURE.

      Guy

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