2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04

  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

5 responses to “2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04

  1. Fine list Sir Guy. May I ask your opinion on a woman’s advice to tell a husband that she misses him to show her vulnerability. Is that an effective method to get her husband to spend more time with her?
    Based on everything I’ve read on your blog, it would appear to me that expressing vulnerability in the manner she advises would lead to less respect because it shows weakness as well as guilt manipulation but would love to hear your thoughts.

    Your Highness Mary Wumths,

    Not the complete story, but this responds to your dilemma.

    Avoid and forget showing or being vulnerable. It disrupts respect when revealed to someone also signifies some character weakness.

    Expressing your dependence crowns husband as your king. He expects something close to that as symbol of your dependence on him. So, lean on him clearly but with the strength of character that he can admire. Don’t yield up any measure of your importance to yourself or him.

    Women have many strengths, and men appreciate these greatly: strong character and ability to be grateful, dependent, and respectful—all on him.


  2. Sarina

    Thank you Sir Guy for presenting a truth that is hard to deal with it. Nowadays with fat ‘acceptance’ and ‘doesn’t matter how you look, there’s someone for you’ mentality, many women have given up trying to make that extra effort thinking that men would accept them regardless of size.
    We are not told how men are turned off by fat, how it’s a huge thing for them and I saw countless examples how guys would prefer a skinny woman over a beautiful but obese one. I’m sure there are some men that don’t care about weight, but those are very rare. A thing that I’ve noticed is that they are less inclined to protect a bigger woman.

    Anyway, it’s in a woman’s best interest to be able to move around with ease and also attracting a mate becomes much difficult.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to What Women Never Hear.

  3. Virtuous Woman

    But what about the man’s appearance? I’ve been single 25 years, been to numerous social events, online dating, church, etc. in search of Mr. Right. I have a lot to offer a man. I’m attractive, fit, feminine, dress well, educated, a good cook, maintain a nice, peaceful home, no drama, love God, etc. Most men who approach or contact me in my age range (49-65), are often overweight, sloppy dressers, uneducated, can’t spell, and seem to have no desire to take the lead or impress a woman. How does someone my age navigate the dating scene so that she doesn’t have to grow old alone? Where does she go to meet quality men? I really want to find a good man and get married. Thanks.

    Your Highness Virtuous Woman,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to What Women Never Hear.

    Congratulations. You’ve done well. Keep going as you are; you’re doing the right things with one exception.

    Quit looking for Mr. Right. There is no such thing except in your mind. If you act as if he’s Mr. Right, you will give of yourself to convince him. You will appear desperate and he will lose respect for you. If you marry, you will be surprised that he has shortcomings not previously uncovered. It will inspire you to change him, and that will cost you his respect and perhaps his presence.

    A better way exists. Screen men and settle with a Mr. Good Enough. One you can shape slowly to fit your expectations over the years. No surprises for either of you as you settle in forever.


    • Beloved

      Guy, can you give a list of characteristics that might comprise a “Mr. Good Enough? And if a man can’t be attracted to a woman who is unattractive, then how in the world is a woman supposed to just turn a blind eye to physical and other repulsive actions, habits, behaviors, etc? Women need to be turned on by a man in order to desire to be physical with him also.

      Your Highness Beloved,

      Characteristics of a Mr. Good Enough depend on the tastes and aspirations of the woman involved. It’s her life, man, and involvement.

      As to being turned on, it’s one essential. However, you will be surprised if you develop a lengthy association on the premise he might be a Good Enough and see how his physical appearance, habits behaviors, etc. can make a gal see a guy differently. No guarantees but you have to learn to like him.


      • Meow Meow

        Hi Beloved,
        i think you’d be wise to run far away from a man exhibiting “repulsive” behaviors, habits, actions and appearance. It would mean he is absolutely the wrong guy for you and you have got to listen to your instincts! (Repulsive is a strong word and it would imply danger to me.)

        However, I have experienced that physical attraction can sometimes build with positive association, provided the guy in question isn’t triggering any of your warning signs, is hygienic and seems to have solid character.

        And yes, some kind of physical/sexual attraction has to be there for the woman too, otherwise its not fair— to the man if he desires a long-term relationship with you, and to you if you just can’t see yourself even kissing him let alone anything else!

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