2674. Refresher Thoughts — 09


  1. After they marry is the appropriate time for a woman’s inborn soft-heartedness to be continually polished into a bright reflection and example for the family. Soft-heartedness helps charm husband into remaining responsible for family, and her children when grown to want to visit mom.
  2. After they marry, wife’s hard-headedness can be over used. If he does what she says all the time, she will lose respect for him, and he won’t realize his potential for brightening her future.
  3. Women mistakenly think that sex the first time with a man is the same as sexual events that follow. Not so. She may not see it as soon, but a man changes immediately after their first sex together. He inherits certain ‘rights’ of the conqueror that shape their relationship for life, e.g., he paid the price she set to yield, and so he ‘owns’ her. It’s more his inborn nature than her.
  4. The ease with which a woman yields sex their first time together tells the man how dominant he can be and how submissive he expects her to be. The ratio that results shapes their relationship till their end as a couple.
  5. Sex neither before nor after marriage holds a man. Sex bonds her but not him.
  6. Girls and women violate the female nature with promiscuous sex for the sake of sex. Even after marriage, women later find their lives much emptier than intended or hoped.
  7. Males insist on sex without marriage. Impatience floods the conqueror’s spirit, and marriage threatens his freedom.
  8. The longer and more successfully a woman holds out for marriage before sex, the more admiration and lasting respect she earns from a man. Holding out during a long courtship enables her to determine his true intentions, whether truly after her or just sex. More importantly, while trying to find weaknesses to get her into bed, he uncovers qualities he can admire, which makes them virtues to him, and men seek to marry a virtuous woman.
  9. The female nature has four primal urges of little more than passing interest to males. Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. They need a brighter future for them and theirs. They want help when they need it in a world they can’t dominate. They fear abandonment. To stimulate interest to help her and brighten her future, a woman convinces a man that he can be a better man by out-competing other men for her hand in marriage. (It has worked for centuries in Western civilization.)
  10. Men are driven to compete. As hunter-conquerors they target high-value prey. Men don’t mount rabbit heads in their den or pursue women they find unappealing. They enjoy the challenge of chasing the unconquerable. If they don’t enjoy the challenge of pursuit, they lack ambition for other things too. [1904]

11 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage

11 responses to “2674. Refresher Thoughts — 09

  1. Meow Meow

    I love these concepts, especially about the soft-heartedness that develops after marriage. In a way its a reward for the man for having “won” her, is it not? And I have seen how a gentle mother is cherished by her children. The only thing I am confused over is this sentence:

    “To stimulate interest to help her and brighten her future, a woman convinces a man that he can be a better man by out-competing other men for her hand in marriage.”

    It seems there is a combination of the woman being the seller and buyer going on here….we want the man, so we must convince him? And/or we aim to attract many men who could fit the bill and pick the best out of those?

    I do completely agree that being the (physically) weaker sex is a challenge in many societies even this one. (Yet that being said better to be on ones own than with a man who drags you down and makes life even worse than that of a single lady! Hope springs eternal in the female breast and hope itself can be life sustaining, even if misplaced.) Even reading your comment about a woman’s specific challenges however brings some relief from the “everyone’s the same” mantra omnipresent in society. It is harder to pretend that the sexes are exactly the same as one gets older and sees strength, bone mass, hormones degrade with time. Reminding myself that we are not the same and have different challenges in life to face as men and women is actually more comforting than comparing myself to an impossibly self-sufficient and never worried inhuman ideal.

    Your Highness Meow Meow,
    She remains the buyer all the time. “And/or we aim to attract many men who could fit the bill and pick the best out of those?” And when he out-competes those other men, sees that she judged him superior, he wants to live up to her opinion, and he’s better for it.
    Guy

    • 1jarofclay

      Lady Meow Meow,

      He means the latter. Women convice without really trying to convince. They’re out there just living their lives, dating, showing the virtues that this blog describes, and yes, they should hold out and choose the “fittest” or best able of the candidates who are pursuing her. It helps if she doesn’t get too emotionally attached to any one of her suitors, but I believe that many modern women lack the knowledge, discipline, or both to do so. Or they might just be stubborn. I don’t know. But hard-to-get is our game. It’s our birthright, too. And did I mention that it’s also loads of fun for both men and women to practice? 😉

      Magnolia

  2. 1jarofclay

    My goodness, yes, men really do adore the cat and mouse game! The more you avoid them, the stronger they come off. Most women simply don’t understand men’s nature and believe that playing hard-to-get is mean. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The absolute best way to pull it off is by genuinely being your own person and building a fulfilling life with your family, career, hobbies, friends, volunteering, etc.

    I’ve noticed that the instinct is so strong, that they often pursue aimlessly. They don’t even know what they are pursuing; they’re just busy pursuing. Lol. “What do you want?” you ask, and you’ll often get an “I don’t know.” Lord help the single ladies. Haaa!!

    Magnolia

    Your Highness Magnolia,
    You’re right. Single ladies don’t have the right experiences to understand what they are up against. Ex-marrieds didn’t pay attention to the right things to grasp the meaning of the male nature.
    Guy

    • Femme

      Lady Magnolia/Sir Guy,
      I do agree that playing hard to get is our game (funny how it’s even reflected in the conception process in most animals… the egg doesn’t chase :)).
      There is a national treasure of a novel in my native country that was compulsory towards the end of primary school.
      The protagonist, a young knight, falls in love with a young (blonde of course) innocent girl who he rescues from some oppressors and then in turn she saves him from being hanged by throwing a white kerchief over his head (the white symbolising virginity I think) and declaring he is hers.
      They never get to consummate their “relationship” and I don’t remember how it all ends, but all the while when the knight pursues the girl, there is another one right under his nose, who is very much in love with him and would love to be the mother of his children…This one is clearly a woman rather than a girl, is dark haired and very healthy instead of sickly pale. Everybody around would love to see them married, yet the young knight doesn’t even notice her.
      I think it symbolises well the way that men like to slay dragons for a worthy lady, and how she is too available and eager, she will be considered too easy…even if she WOULD be a better choice for him long term.
      But how oh how do we pull this off in a society where men got so lazy they would rather have the ladies slay the dragons for them?
      I also kind of noticed that if I don’t smile at men, it doesn’t make them want to work harder.
      They definitely prefer women who smile at them, flirt and tease them.
      Even the married ones.
      😦

      • Magnolia

        Hi Lady Femme,

        I just tried to post something that took me a long time to write and then lost it. Let me get back to you some other time. I’m behind at work and have deadlines.

        In the meantime, start actively dating if you are not.

        Magnolia

        • Femme

          Dear Lady Magnolia,
          I never really dated… I met my future husband and after a brief acquaintance we got married.
          Now I have been separated but not divorced and still not dating because to some men my unresolved situation would be a turn off, but aside from that, I feel really “rusty”.
          I’m building up courage and in the meantime, am trying to read and educate myself, most importantly figure out how to avoid past mistakes.
          Sorry to hear you lost your post, looking forward to reading it.

  3. Meow Meow

    Edit—I didn’t mean to imply that single ladies life is bad!!! in many ways i miss it actually…having time to oneself, to follow your own interests etc.( I see how that my comment could have come across wrong.) What I meant was that its better to be single and hopeful than be in a marriage or relationship that is irreparably damaged.

  4. Virtuous

    I’ll never understand how a man can have sex with so many women and have no emotional attachment/feelings to those women…especially when scripture says to wait until marriage to have sex. Sex is as physically close as you can get to someone and it’s very intimate. Don’t men worry about STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, guilt for using a woman just for sex, etc. It’s confusing and seems that men will never be faithful to just one woman, as there are SO many women willing to give free sex for very little in return.

    YOUR HIGHNESS VIRTUOUS,

    MY RESPONSE IS UPPER CASE TO YOUR LOWER CASE COMMENT.

    I’ll never understand how a man can have sex with so many women and have no emotional attachment/feelings to those women. BECAUSE MEN ARE DIFFERENT FROM WOMEN IN DOZENS OF WAYS AND HUNDREDS OF DIFFENT MOTIVATIONAL ENERGIES AND BEHAVORIAL RESULTS. EXAMPLE: THEY DO NOT LOVE AS WOMEN LOVE. IN FACT, IT CAN BE DESCRIBED AS AN OPPOSITE TO FEMALE LOVE.

    …especially when scripture says to wait until marriage to have sex. MEN ARE NOT INCLINED TOWARD SCRIPTURE UNTIL WOMEN TEACH THEM, USUALLY AS BOYS. THEIR MALE NATURE ADVISES THEY SEEK OUTSIDE HELP ONLY AFTER EVENTS OR HABITS RENDER THEM WITH CRUSHING DEFEATS. IT WORSENS FOR WOMEN. FEWER MOTHERS TODAY DRAG THEIR SONS KICKING AND SCREAMING TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY; ATHEISTS AND OTHERS NOW RENDER RELIGION AND ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANITY USELESS IN ORDER TO NULLIFY CHRISTIAN VALUES AND INFLUENCE IN GOVERNMENT.

    Sex is as physically close as you can get to someone and it’s very intimate. INTIMACY IS CRITICAL TO A WOMAN’S LOVE BUT NOT A MAN’S. MEN USUALLY HAVE TO BE TAUGHT TO APPRECIATE THE NEED OF INTIMACY TO A WOMAN.

    Don’t men worry about STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, guilt for using a woman just for sex, etc. SOME MEN, SOME TIMES, SOME SITUATIONS. HOWEVER, IT’S NOT INHERITED AT BIRTH AS PART OF THE MALE NATURE. SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE WOMEN OR A WOMAN CONVINCES MEN TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO THINGS OF VITAL INTEREST TO WOMEN.

    It’s confusing and seems that men will never be faithful to just one woman, THAT IS A PRESUMPTION THAT A WOMAN SHOULD MAKE WHEN SHE’S INTERESTED IN A MAN. SHE INHERITS THE ABILITY TO OVERCOME HIS MALE NATURE TO SPREAD SEED AND CONVINCE HIM TO BE FAITHFUL TO HER. SHE POSSESSES THE NECESSARY SKILLS, TALENTS, AND JUDGMENT CALLS TO RECRUIT, CAPTURE, AND CONVINCE A MAN TO MARRY AND BE FAITHFUL. SHE LEARNS BEST HOW TO USE HER ABILITY IN ADOLESCENCE. HOWEVER, IN TODAY’S MARKETPLACE, YOUR NEXT PHRASE MAKES WOMEN MISS WHAT THEY SEEK MOST.

    as there are SO many women willing to give free sex for very little in return. WHEN FEMINISM CONVINCED FEMALES OF THE MERITS OF MASCULINE-STYLE SEXUAL FREEDOM A FEW DECADES AGO, WOMEN JUMPED ON THE MALE-DOMINATED BANDWAGON. IT NOW OUTWEIGHS THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF THOSE WOMEN SEEKING A FAITHFUL HUSBAND. MEN ARE TAUGHT THAT INFIDELITY IS JUST OUT THE DOOR AND THE PENALTY FOR IT IS INCONSEQUENTIAL. JUST A BATTLE TO DUMP HIS PRESENT WOMAN.

    I RESPONDED TO YOU EARLIER. THERE IS NO MR. RIGHT UNTIL A MRS. WIFE MAKES HIM SO. “QUALITY MEN?” THERE’S ONLY MR. GOOD ENOUGH UNTIL MRS. BETTER-THAN-GOOD MAKES HIM HER MR. RIGHT.

    I HOPE TO DESCRIBE IT BETTER IN A FUTURE POST, BUT THERE IS NOTHING IN THE MALE NATURE THAT DRIVES OR URGES MEN TO MARRY. IT’S A FOREIGN THOUGHT UNLESS AND UNTIL THE WOMEN IN THEIR LIVES CONVINCE OTHERWISE.

    GUY

    • Femme

      Sir Guy,
      I don’t know where to post this comment/question as it would fit in a few places but here seems ok because of this:

      WHEN FEMINISM CONVINCED FEMALES OF THE MERITS OF MASCULINE-STYLE SEXUAL FREEDOM A FEW DECADES AGO, WOMEN JUMPED ON THE MALE-DOMINATED BANDWAGON. IT NOW OUTWEIGHS THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF THOSE WOMEN SEEKING A FAITHFUL HUSBAND.

      A friend (who is a devout Christian btw) recently posted on FB an article that in short said women should not listen to what men expect and want from women and not try to attempt to give them what they (apparently) want.
      The reason being that the more women try to “give” to men, the less the men have to invest themselves, not to mention that the women then become the sellers (or in another dialect, they start “chasing” men, which is seen as a masculine activity).
      There were a few women who did grasp the meaning of this and simply said “very true” or similar, but the VAST majority of comments were just incredible….
      One woman (can she even be called a woman? I wonder) said she has her own money, her own flat, doesn’t need anybody and/or anything, uses men for sex as and when she pleases and doesn’t intend to give them anything, but instead expects them to fetch beer for her, preferably wearing very tight pants while doing so.
      She got at least 10 enthusiastic comments from other gals…
      My jaw hit the floor.
      On one hand, it’s better to know what’s going on around, but on the other, it really can be depressing to read this kind of stuff.
      Of course she may have just been bragging.
      I’m assuming the women reading this blog share my perspective… My question is, what should/could we do? I literally have no real life friends who are not afflicted with feminism to varying degrees. Well except one.
      Any tips on how to survive and not get too depressed?

      Your HighnessFemme,

      “Any tips on how to survive and not get too depressed?”
      Strengthen your belief in femininity by dressing and acting more feminine all the time. Stick with mirror time.

      Promote your beliefs by example. Show friends how femininity is the opposite of feminism. Let them compare your satisfaction with their anxieties and discouragements. Refuse to let having a man be the measure of a woman’s success. The true measure of a woman is the goodness in her heart and ability to spread it with her family.

      Be totally feminine associating with friends; they are only partially committed to feminist-think or they would be like the woman you spotlight that isn’t a woman anymore. Your friends have cherry-picked what they like, they know better than to accept and adopt extra-strength, anti-male Feminism.

      If someone inquires, strengthen your belief about the inadequacies of feminist-think by not criticizing friends but boldly citing the theory as contradicting womanhood.

      Feminism is in the process of being discredited, but slowly. Non-feminists don’t know enough to speed up its demise, but time and new generations seem to be working in their favor. Men can’t and won’t help as long as masculine-style sexual freedom is practiced by girls and women.

      Guy

  5. Femme

    Sir Guy,
    men are never more handsome when they display integrity, honesty and readiness to tirelessly educate women about their forgotten nature.
    Thank you.

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