Blog 2677 — Answers That Women Look For — 02


Previous Q&A for easy reference.

  1. Why do men avoid marriage? [See 2676]
  2. What makes a husband dissatisfied with himself? [See 2676]
  3. Do men consider the wife to be responsible to keep their marriage together? [See 2676]

 

Q. Why do husbands cheat? [See 2677]

A. I offer no alibi for men, but with the facts below women can reduce the threat the female nature faces from the male nature in the marital arena.

Simply put, the male nature, daily events, and marital conditions open the cheating door not held closed by a man’s woman. The door opens so easily because the male nature oils the hinges and leaves it unlocked. The male nature motivates men to behave as follows until women teach them to act more female friendly.

  • Men have the lifelong urge to conquer unconquered women; male love lacks the cohesive glue of female love; a man’s prime motivator is to earn self-admiration through accomplishments that produce self-satisfaction.
  • A freshly conquered woman produces self-satisfaction in a man, but more importantly it terminates his primal urge to have more sex with her. Men don’t bond with sex, and so emotional infidelity may not be part of the show. He may stay with her, but male conquest is first- and only-time together. Sex after that is another game in the male psyche.
  • Cheating also results from a man’s weak devotion to wife or lack of character strength to fulfill his promises and vows. He falls for a woman with strong lures. (No excuse, but it takes intense resistance that many men lack.)
  • To a man, his cheating doesn’t dissolve the marriage for several reasons. 1) He’s responsible for marital success and expects to end it only when unsatisfied with himself living with his wife. 2) Two sex partners provides more satisfaction, not less. 3) He is not as prone as she to guilt. 4) His cheating does not mean emotional connection with the other woman, and so it’s not ‘harmful’ to wife if she doesn’t know.
  • Admiration to accomplishment to satisfaction is the motivational pattern of a man’ life. Until, that is, mothers, girls, and single women teach boys and men they can and should do better on behalf of those they love, and each husband decides to honor his wife by being faithful.

But that’s not all. Wives drive husbands to cheat, feel compelled to copy him, and the consequences destroy their marriage. If he cheats she wants to talk; if she cheats he wants to walk. It’s next at 2678.

3 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences, The mind

3 responses to “Blog 2677 — Answers That Women Look For — 02

  1. Na

    What bonds a man?

    Your Highness Na,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to What Women Never Hear.

    What bonds a man? His actions taken to please a woman. The more actions over a longer time, the greater his investment in her. The greater his investment, the harder for him to throw it away. Her love is only the promise that she already is and will be loyal to him. IOW, more than her love is needed for his bonding.

    Guy

  2. Everyday I look forward to your posts to learn something new.
    The most valuable things I’ve learned from your blog is
    1. Women can earn the most respect from men by not having sex with them before marriage.
    2. Men need to respect a woman before he can love her.
    3. The secret to a happy marriage is to not be an irritating wife because we all do what feels good and an irritating wife does not feel good.
    4. Men don’t value unearned gifts like compliments, easy sex, and affection.
    5. Men marry a virtuous woman, aka one who didn’t sleep with him before marriage and appears to be virtuous.
    6. Men prefer a mysterious woman, to not know her sexual past, and women should not complain or explain.
    7. The best way to compliment a man is “Men are never more handsome than when they show favor to the ladies” or something indirect.
    8. Men’s nature are prone to infidelity the only thing that keeps him faithful is his own character (which many men lack) and devotion to his wife (best garnered by waiting until marriage for first time sex).
    9. Men do not need women as much as women need men.
    10. Men only marry if the woman requires it to continue the relationship.

    Your Highness Mary Wumths,
    What a delightful list to read and study. You’ve done well.
    Guy

  3. I understand that your spilling the beans on what makes men tick and how women can manage them is directed to a wide audience, some members of which are not particularly religious.

    However, I would be interested to know how spirituality/religion fits into the relationship picture.

    You have mentioned in various contexts the idea that mothers (and probably grandmothers and aunts?) influence their husbands and male children to behave with more than their own self-satisfaction as the primary reason for getting up in the morning.

    It seems to me that, in the long-lived marriages I have observed, mostly in my church, there is something at work keeping them alive that is a bit stronger than what Mama taught her sons about living with a woman AND what Mama taught her daughters about living with a man.

    There have been several divorces in my church. From the purely natural perspective, I can see that, where a man initiated a divorce, the motivations lined up with what you have described. And where a woman initiated a divorce, the excuse was that the husband was depressed, was not seeking help, and was being abusive (but it *was* a laughable excuse).

    As far as I am concerned, the initiators were making a mockery of their profession of faith as Christians. In only one case did a divorcing husband have a change of heart . . . after thirteen years. He and his wife divorced; he was excommunicated for doing so for no valid reason; they both moved away; he got re-married; his second wife died; he sought out his first wife and asked her forgiveness; he contacted the pastor of my church and apparently gave him and the elders sufficient reason to believe that he was truly repenting, and one Sunday morning, it was announced, with the man standing in the front of the sanctuary, that he had gone through a whole process of repentance and was being restored to fellowship.

    I say all this to say that outside of “religion,” a man getting nagged or disrespected or whatever is a “natural” reason to leave a committed relationship, but inside “religion,” the situation is a bit more complicated, especially if men and women in theory seriously profess commitment to a power higher than their own mating and procreating agendas.

    How does religion affect the relationship game, if at all? How should it?

    Your Highness Edith Mcklveen,

    Neither sex is born with religious beliefs embedded in their psyche, but both have the ability to develop faith and belief out of lessons learned in life. Women need and use religious values more than men. They also have a lower threshold for living by faith and within a set of connected beliefs.

    Living by faith and belief in a higher being and order improves self-worth and strengthens character and dedication to someone else. It broadens one’s self-interest to connect more tightly with others.

    Nagging, criticism, and disrespect are foreign to the faithful believer. Even when its deserved, the faithful believer values a mate too much to find fault, inflict guilt, or hurt their feelings. They are more easily motivated to treat others as they wish to be treated.

    Faith and religious belief encourages uplifting others, forgive more easily, and discourage the tendency in women to never forget offenses.

    When an individual provides their own and only guidance on the pathway of life, they do not make an envious mate. However, faith and belief in a higher order of values provides excellent guidance for success in the relationship game.

    Guy

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