2683. Magnolia Shines Again

NOTE: Born hard-headed to deal with men and soft-hearted to live the good life, some women never find the balance that Magnolia describes below. She uses both to promote her life’s agenda to the max. I post it as a good read for everyone and written so well and clearly that it shows respect for every reader. Thank you, Magnolia.


Dear Femme,

I don’t mind talking about it. That was a few years ago. It wasn’t with my husband. That relationship ran its course. It was four years ago, around the time that I got acquainted with this blog. Reading it helped me wise up very quickly. My ex was a very fine man, and we had discussed marriage. He wasn’t quite ready, though. He wasn’t sure about marriage at that moment. He was more like, “At some point.” He wasn’t sure he wanted children and I’m sure I do. He’d had some financial setbacks due to a divorce and wanted a prenup. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I sensed that something was wrong and confirmed it by reading this blog. I wasn’t about to become the seller to him or any man (It was a long term relationship and we had become sexually involved by then). As Sir Guy says, recovery is everything.

Another thing that Sir Guy says is that men really protect their assets and that we should do the same. At the time I was getting ready to move to the city where I live now, a few hours away. I did and things ended.

I think that it’s important for women to make the right choices in life. Sir Guy encourages women to cling to religion and morality in order to brighten their future. This blog helped me get back to my roots. It was a fairly easy transition back.

When I moved to town I immediately looked for a church and became a member. Now, almost four years later, I am married to someone who shares the same goals as me (to work in the ministry at church, etc.), pursued me like crazy from day one and showed that he wanted to make himself worthy of me, wants children as well, and never, ever asked for a prenup. On the contrary, he said that everything that is his, is mine (house, everything). He never asked for sex either since we’re committed Christians. That was reserved for marriage. His love for me is so special, so sacrificial and he continually demonstrates it. I’m amazed by it and love him so much for it. I love my husband so much and I’m so grateful for him!

I’m glad that things didn’t work out with my ex. I’m much happier and better off now. I wasn’t where I needed to be with God before. As I said, my ex was just protecting his assets and wouldn’t budge, as Sir Guy says that men do. I decided to do the same and not budge at all and came out on top.

I thank God for Sir Guy and this blog.

Hope this helps somebody. Many blessings!



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, The mind

11 responses to “2683. Magnolia Shines Again

  1. My Husband's Wife

    What a lovely post, Magnolia! I enjoyed reading your story and especially love hearing how the ladies at WWNH have put the principles of femininity to work for them and have upgraded their relationships as a result. A win-win not only women, but men and children too!

    • 1jarofclay

      Thank you Lady My Husband’s Wife. You’re absolutely right! These principles make for a better society.

      I’ve been trying to help the single ladies the best I can because I’ve been where they are. I think now it’s time for me to learn from you, Miss Gina and other ladies who have successful marriages. I’ll be asking for advice from time to time! I have a lot of respect and admiration from you ladies.

      Now, I’m off to a date with my husband. All the best to you! 🙂


  2. 1jarofclay

    Thank you Sir Guy! I’m forever grateful for your guidance. ❤


  3. MLaRowe

    Magnolia, you are a true inspiration. Thanks so much for sharing this both honestly and generously.

  4. stephanie deGange

    thank you for telling us of your turnaround success….

    • 1jarofclay

      Thank you ladies for your kind words. It’s such an honor for me to be able to help anyone if I can.

      I love this community of which I’ve been part of for four years, as previously mentioned. I love that I get to give and receive inspiration! What an awesome blessing!

      Much love, ❤ 🙂

  5. Femme

    Lady Magnolia,
    thank you so much for this inspiring and uplifting post!
    I love the way you said you decided to protect your assets and came out on top!!! 🙂 What was the most crucial difference between what you did in your previous relationship and the one that ended in a marriage, would you say? Was it the fact you didn’t give in to conquest before marriage? Forgive me for being cheeky/nosy but it’s so rare to find a happily married woman these days.

    • 1jarofclay

      Hi Femme!
      I think there is that element. I decided to remain celibate partly because of my religious beliefs, though. But most women today give in at some point and they still get married. Some are happily married. A few posts on the blog address that issue and when to do it (if you want to before marriage)– wait until he’s devoted. I’ll have to come with the references later.

      There are many other elements that are important to get to marriage and to start it right. Here are a few:
      1. Make sure that your guy is very devoted to you. I cannot stress this enough. He needs to be very much in love.
      2. Make sure that he’s so invested in you and the relationship that he puts you first.
      3. Choose from the pool of men who are actively and ardently pursuing you. If he stops pursuing, you need to find the strength to get him out of your system and move on.

      Going through these steps will lay the foundation for your marriage. Then you can take it from there. Women are a lot more flexible than men and can adapt better. Men are much more linear thinkers. That’s why the other day I suggested the post “Marry Without Romantic Appeal.” Women can and do fall in love gradually all the time with good men who are willing to make themselves worthy of them. The other way around, which would be the woman making herself the seller is just heartache for them from beginning to end. A man who shows that he doesn’t care from the beginning likely never will care.

      I hope that this answers your question. 🙂

      Happy Resurrection Day to those who celebrate!


      • 1jarofclay

        Here are some references of two women who chose against celibacy, but continued their relationships with their men (one is married today, the other one in talks). Both men were devoted to them by the time the women yielded.

        -Post 2120. Christmas Present for Guy
        -The series that starts with post 1486. WWNH:Real World– Part 01: Guy Jr. Narrates


      • Femme

        Hi Lady Magnolia,
        it does answer my question and more!
        Every day I am more and more grateful for having been recommended this blog, for being able to read the advice of both Sir Guy and women like you.
        There are many relationship gurus out there and I’ve been reading up on the subject ever since my separation a few years back and some of them mention the importance of how a relationship starts to how it develops (or not). Most mention the fact that if you want a relationship with a man you need to develop it BEFORE having sex, not after.
        But nobody really explains why the way Sir Guy (and now you) does.
        I’ve never heard so clearly expressed the fact that after conquest (1st sex together) a man’s attitude completely shifts. The religious aspect simply doesn’t get mentioned at all.
        Before I read here about men protecting their assets and trying to avoid the ultimate sign of commitment it would never have occurred to me that they do it…
        Perhaps because I got a proposal from my now estranged husband quite easily and before I even thought about marriage myself. In fact it took me completely by surprise.
        He is of a different denomination than I am but his family are very religious and quite strict on the subject of sex before marriage.
        He was very conscious about the fact that “if anything happens, we are not married” – meaning I could get pregnant, for example.
        So on the surface it looks like we did almost everything by the book but the marriage still didn’t work out.
        It took me a while and a lot of reading of this blog to realise that he didn’t really marry me because it was my requirement but because he feared his family’s reaction if they found out about our relationship. I think in retrospect I took it as his devotion…but it wasn’t… It all happened too quickly and so I didn’t really have the time to vet him properly or even know what I wanted for myself.
        At the time I was torn between different needs and plans and kind of lost (unable to make a decision) so I just gave the reins to him… thinking he would know how to steer us and the relationship towards some rather unidentified (but of course better) future.
        It didn’t work that way because I soon discovered that he was anything but selfless and devoted, but instead self centred, dictatorial and very very jealous. To the point of obsession.
        But that is another story.
        I don’t feel ready to start dating yet…
        But if and when I choose to I will make sure to put your advice into practice.
        Thank you for emphasising that a man’s devotion and love must develop first.
        And yes, a woman in a seller’s role sets herself up for tonnes of heartache from start to finish.
        I discovered this in a brief relationship that started after my separation.
        It was brief but really intense and even though I ended things pretty quickly, I still cannot, as you put it, “get the man out of my system” completely.
        May I ask how you did it with your former boyfriend?
        My head is now firmly in the right place and I know I made the absolutely best decision intellectually but my heart still aches.
        Thank you and I wish you a belated happy Easter too :).

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