Blog 2685 — Female Standards — 01

Boldness reduces discomfort. If a woman learns to stretch it into standards that she lives by, she can develop her future as she desires it. Her life is more up to her than even a man’s presence in her life.

Many gals ask how to get dating off on the right foot. How to react when they are approached or hit on. The following is my favorite. I offer it for the impact on the thoughts of a man when surprised by woman-think, especially when boldness enshrouds her imagination and female pride. Encounters are seldom neutral when the gal takes charge. See the bullets below.

We all avoid acting uncomfortable. But surprise men with female discomfort shrouded in boldness, and it enables a women to take charge of the man or men present. That is, shock a man awake by her determination to be female, feminine, and different from men. Anyway, here’s my favorite standard of a woman forgetting her discomfort to spill it boldly into a man’s face.

SITUATION. A man approaches, acquaintance or newbie, and they begin to chat. Natural, neutral, innocent. She smiles as if he’s likeable and responds respectfully to his chatter. No signs of her judging him as suitable or unsuitable. All men are suitable until they prove otherwise; it’s one of her standards.

At his first mention of sex, direct or indirect, she stops him and responds with this. “Listen, I put my sex life to sleep and now await Prince Charming to awake me as a woman. Talking, kissing, or fondling will not wake me. See you later.” She quietly, respectfully, and politely leaves him to his thoughts. (She departs, because he’s now on defense and would likely begin to argue that he can talk, kiss, or fondle her awake. It makes it awkward, because she’d have to insult him to stop his determination to recover his self-respect or save face.)

  • It’s shock and awe time. She departs and leaves him challenged to try again or drop the encounter as not worth whatever it would take to recover.
  • It offends his self-image; he thought he was better at meeting someone. It also puts him to thinking, wondering, speculating. How he did wrong or could have done better? He’s no longer in charge; how does he recover? Or does he want to?
  • He can save face by admitting she’s wasn’t worth it anyway. Probably 80% of guys would take that comfortable way out. She thinks: Can’t stand up to the weaker sex? What kind of man is he? I don’t have to waste time on him. If I’m not worth a strong pursuit, if he’s so easily discouraged, he couldn’t be much of a man for me.
  • She’s unique, a virtue difficult to earn in today’s marketplace. It stirs his thoughts and may keep them stirred for quite awhile. Prince Charming? Who’s that? What could he have that I don’t? She think she’s a fairy princess or something? She’s different alright, but how do I get next to her?
  • She’s mysterious. What kind of woman is she? How does she expect to gain my ever loving attention by walking away? What else has she to offer beyond what I saw? What would it take to bed her sometime soon? How do I find out what her Prince Charming looks like and promises? Can I beat his time before he shows up?
  • She’s determined, knows who she is, and intends to shape her life her way—or at least it appears that way and men believe what they figure it out better than anything she tells them. If talking, kissing, and fondling won’t wake her, what else must Prince Charming have, do, and is expected to do?
  • He tells his buddies about it in ways that reflect good on him. Then he wonders if he gave her a raw deal by under estimating her potential as good woman.

Imposing her standard immediately puts her in charge and guys have no alternative but to forget her (I guess at 80%) to save face or try harder (20%) with a whole new approach. The 80% were only after sex and lost interest in her, which means they are not good enough for her. The 20% that develops a strong pursuit in spite of her standard are good candidates for a relationship. Thus, her discomfort uplifted with boldness separates the unqualified from the possibles with just a few words.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, The mind

5 responses to “Blog 2685 — Female Standards — 01

  1. 1jarofclay

    This is very good! It’s also very true. A while back I was reading posts on a dating forum and one of the women, who had two young sons, said that based on her own experiences and other comments, she asked her sons why they didn’t ask a girl out after date two or three. Their answer? “Because she didn’t put out.” So yes, unfortunately this is very common, very accurate.

    The good news, as you said, is that the process quickly weeds out men who aren’t worthy suitors, so women win at the end no matter what.


  2. stephanie deGange

    great insight…

  3. Aidos

    Wow – this is so relevant and accurate based on my experiences.

    I’ve been working in a new area that has a much larger population than my last city.

    On average, from November to April, I’ve been on 2 to 4 dates a week, throughout the winter season.

    It’s been astonishing to me how many men walk away after I refuse sex *on a second date*. It’s been the majority.

    The man I’m currently dating (and we’re only up to the third date) is the very first man I’ve met since my divorce in 2010 who’s told me upfront that he desires more than sex and that he’s not a modern dater.

    It was only at the tail end of our last date that he reached over to hold my hand for the first time, and then when saying goodbye, his quickly kissed me.

    Even having all the information from this site to help, dating is emotionally draining when being on the receiving end of rejection after rejection because of sex. I’m still hopeful, but it’s hard.

    Marriage, which used to be the standard, is now treated as a taboo subject. I once read here, ‘when they bring up sex, you bring up marriage’. You should see the reactions! It’s like I’m from a different planet. :/

    Your Highness Aidos,

    You are learning well and should remain hopeful. You’ll have to run through a lot of ‘walk aways’, unless new guy wants a particular woman rather than sex.

    Men don’t need a woman except for first sex with each one and moving on to the next. It’s the male nature, and its strength, intensity, and longevity matches that of mother love. It lasts for life. Consequently, women have always had the burden to civilize, tame, and convince men they need a good woman at their side. Keeping her legs crossed until she has him devoted to her has been the most successful strategy.


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