NOTE: It seems men in at least one big city have a new standard. Lady Aidos reports “It’s been astonishing to me how many men walk away after I refuse sex *on a second date*. It’s been the majority [after dozens of dates, NOV-APR].” Miss Gina offers appropriate self-help.
Dear Lady Aidos,
I understand your comment that being rejected can be draining. But consider a slightly different perspective. Try going into the date with an open but educated mind about the male nature…you already understand what is likely to happen, so you have your shields up…while giving him a small window of opportunity to prove himself. It is ok to be a bit cool and aloof toward the gentleman…remember how so many men go crazy over women who are downright mean–they represent a challenge. (I don’t recommend meanness, but a little impatience with or skepticism of a man can trigger his challenge reflex.) If you watch romantic movies from the 30’s, 40’s, and 50’s, (early 60’s too), the women are often good examples. [Guy says: Movie lists are available at posts 2039, 1369, 1242, 1224, and 541.] *You* are the one in the driver’s seat, and *you* are screening through many unworthy men. Most will move on, which is what makes them unworthy of you–*not* you unworthy of them. You only have to find one. Just this small change in perspective can make it easier on you and make you more attractive at the same time.