2688. Wisdom from Magnolia #3


NOTE: Lady Magnolia responds to Lady Femme’s concerns about “get the man out of my system.” Guy

——

Lady Femme,

A few things come to mind:
1. Cry and surrender to the pain. Mourn your loss.Then begin to recover.
2. Keeping a journal helps. Try not to ruminate, though. Write about positive thoughts and hope for the future.
3. When you are ready, start dating other men. This point alone could be all you need as you naturally become interested in someone else.
4. Meditate.
5. The mind is powerful– let go. Allow yourself to let go of him. HE IS JUST ONE MAN IN A SEA OF MILLIONS.

Many women give themselves completely when they date. The best thing to do is to manage our emotions, take it easy and evaluate everything. I’m telling you, dating several men is so good for that (it allows you to be more level-headed as you evaluate each candidate and not to give of yourself 100% to any one man– a risky thing to do at the beginning) but so many women refuse to do it out of loyalty to men who often do not reciprocate. The disaster that ensues is to be expected, really.

See how much a man invests in you and for how long before you invest yourself. As a general rule, don’t invest much at all before the six month mark (that’s how long it takes for a relationship to become established). Be cautious.
Six months-looking good.
:-):-)Eight months-getting better. :-):-):-) One year-great! Has he consistently shown interest, devotion, etc.?

Keep in mind, this is a rule of thumb. Use common sense and your feminine intuition to protect your heart.

Finally, I want to say that I know exactly what you’re going through and I know that it’s not easy. It was hard breaking up with my ex. I cried. But I just made up my mind that I would find love after him. Someone better suited for me. And guess what? I did! You will, too!

Many blessings!

Magnolia

P.S. Remember, it is super important that you see yourself as powerful, confident and in control of your destiny. Believe it and you’ll become it! The best part? People will notice, too, and they will treat you accordingly. Try it!

 

3 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine

3 responses to “2688. Wisdom from Magnolia #3

  1. stephanie deGange

    Very helpful advice. Thank you…

  2. Femme

    Dear Lady Magnolia,
    I have been asking myself why it is so difficult to move on… and why it is so easy to cling to the old story.
    I think the answer is emotions. My logical brains (aka hard head) knows everything you have so beautifully put together.
    I have cried and gone through the grieving process multiple times which was not helped by the fact that the man in question kept reappearing and clinging on himself for dear life…. After about 10th time I made sure he could never reach me in any way short of turning up on my doorstep.
    Talk about conquerors squaring off.
    I wouldn’t budge.
    I feel great sadness at the thought I didn’t protect my own heart and my female intuition fell asleep…
    But at the end of the day, I have come to realise that I’ve done enough grieving and regretting past mistakes and blaming myself. What I really need to focus on now is being positive about the future and feeling “powerful, confident and in control of my destiny”. That I am not – yet.
    I have written on a small card that I will find love again and am carrying it in my purse.
    It’s really hard – it’s like part of my identity is tied to the feeling I am somehow flawed and deserve no better.
    But I look around and see love and great relationships happen to other people (like you and the French teacher who became the wife of her pupil after meeting him when he was 15…) and it helps.
    Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom with all of us here.

    Your Highness Femme,
    What you hope to accomplish can be helped with the plan I describe at post 2123 through 2127. You’re right to work on yourself first.
    Guy

    • Femme

      Thank you Sir Guy;
      I have a question that has been on my mind for a bit now.
      Have you ever considered having a forum here?
      With gratitude
      F.

      Your Highness Femme,
      Yes, and discarded as not worth what it takes away from blog. But also, I don’t know how or have time to manage it.
      Guy

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