2689. Tradeoffs in Marriage #02


Here are a few more ounces of prevention—that is, agreeable pressures—that help stabilize and keep a marriage on track. A couple’s time together works it out mostly behind the scenes, easily accepted and settled in background.

  1. He’s convinced by her love and keeping him satisfied that she’s faithful. She’s convinced that he loves her by his apparent satisfaction living together pleasantly. His cherishing her doubles her conviction.
  2. Sexual relations that satisfy occur when she’s happy with the intimacy he provides, and he’s convinced that she appreciates his performance.
  3. He’s convinced by his nature that he needs no improvements in lovemaking. She thinks he needs a lot. Nevertheless, they continue as before with her being disappointed for lack of aptitude or fear of offending him. (To the peacekeeper, unfair is tolerable.)
  4. Her likeability keeps him living with her. Who he is and what he contributes keeps her living with him.
  5. His steadfast connection to her depends much on her steadfast admiration of him; he presumes admiration includes her respect, dependence, and gratitude. Her steadfast connection to him depends on his satisfying her expectations of his responsibility to her and family.
  6. They agree to divide marital responsibility. He’s overall in charge of their marriage, and his domain includes his job, hobby, (clicker?), and all else that he claims as his alone. She governs her domain that includes all else. (This works far better when they arrange it openly rather than letting it develop in background.)
  7. Husband and wife agree not to intrude in the other’s domain unless invited; it keeps his influence in home and family subject to her final authority and keeps her from intruding in matters about his job—unless invited, of course. It also expands mutual trust.

To the extent that couples work out agreeable pressures that shape their thoughts and behaviors such as those above, they find less to complain about.

2 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences

2 responses to “2689. Tradeoffs in Marriage #02

  1. Does the husband’s domain include cooking if he likes to cook and grill things?

    Your Highness Mary Wumths,
    It does if he expects to do it by himself with your assistance as requested. IOW, his actions proclaim his declared ownership of the situation and makes it his domain. To see if he feels responsible, tell him he’s cooking something wrong, or that he should do something else.
    Guy

  2. FrenchyAnna

    Thank you for your great advices. The more I read your blog, the more it helps me to change my thinking in order to become more féminine.
    I still à lot of things to improve.
    I have a question for you: I’m 27, single and love to put red lipstick. I find it glamorous. I do not put lot of makeup on my eyes so that it is not too much and I try to dress féminine and modest.
    I was really confused when my dad tôld me : “I speak to you as a man : I really don’t like your lipstick. It is ugly. You should change it”. It made me feel really bad and I was baffled. As I learnt in your blog, I tried to not show disrespect but I felt so bad about what hé tôld me that I answeréd him : “it is not for you that I put it. And please don’t give me this type of comments”
    So, what do you think about red lipstick ? Is the comment appropriate ? How to respond to this type of comment from à father? And from à husband (I’m wondering how to respond if it comes from my husband). Thank you

    Your Highness FrenchyAnna,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    I’m on your side. I love red lipstick on gals. You’re right. It makes them glamorous. Gals of your dad’s generation dropped red and other colorful signs of feminine behavior. The whole generation copied men’s attire, no class, no uniqueness, no difference, no attempt to attire themselves to be better looking for men. They just got mad at men and dressed down. The men had to get used to it, because that’s all women offered.

    Also, red lipstick is part of the new wave in women’s fashion. So, you stand out for your generation. Keep it up. Respond by sticking to your guns that YOU decide how you will attire yourself.

    Guy

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