2695. Sex Differences No Longer Matter


There’s an old navy abbreviation, O.B.E.—overtaken by events, obsolete, and no longer expected to work as previously.

The feminist changeover of America grows older and bolder, and it makes knowledge of sex differences OBE. Interest in this blog also becomes OBE.

Trends tell us what’s coming. Dating is well on the road to becoming outmoded. By way of meeting and greeting others, friendly hook up rises in popularity. Immature college campus values and standards now convert mainstream maturity to immaturity under the excuse of feminist-think.

In the feminist model of cultural change, restrictions on sexual encounters move toward personal taste and away from moral, religious, and female-friendly principles. It foretells two effects:

1) One’s taste varies greatly compared to living by standards and principles, and so it foreshadows relationships that struggle without a backdrop of firm beliefs to guide the partners.

2) In the not too-distant future, and perhaps already here, less than highly attractive women will be less likely to find a suitable mate. A man’s taste begins with a woman’s appearance and is enhanced by her virtues. Sex without the experience of chaste dating means no incentive to discover her weaknesses that lead to conquest, which would normally lead to his uncovering qualities he can admire, aka virtues. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman, but if a man has no need to discover her weaknesses, her virtues don’t appear to him. Men don’t look for virtues, they discover them in the process of dating and trying to bed her. Without discovering her virtues and they subsequently marry, he does so with too little info to stick with her. His taste changes when romantic love fades, for example, and she’s not virtuous enough to keep him attached.

Women expect to develop successful relationships, but without dating they have little with which to negotiate and manage their relationships. They can plead old school cultural values and standards, rules that granny passed down, but those are OBE since the earliest stages of feminist-think.

Female interest in sex differences fade as feminist-think convinces women that men are no darn good as currently positioned in society. Consequently, feminist-inspired women either act like men or disrespectfully ignore how men are different.

Powerful feminist-dedicated women capture and hold wimpish men alongside. Less powerful women go with hopes and dreams unfulfilled. By exploiting sex differences, every woman has power over a man. By the female gender exploiting feminist values, standards, and expectations, many women are rendered powerless because it works contrary to their feminine nature and initiates confusion. A confused woman can’t hold a good man as her mate, so she looks for other options.

Since society is what we all do and culture is why we do it, feminists have conquered the culture and convinced us that men are no good and women should rule. Men have not been asked but forced to play the feminist game. The repercussions may not be pretty for women; men have been known to serve revenge on a cold platter. I daily see the lack of manly respect being shown to women; they are valued no more highly than other men. It may get worse.

This post began as a plea for questions about the no-dating scene and how women can become successful dealing with men in the quickie hook-up arena. I seek new info about what’s happening across society, so I can figure out how women can be more successful when sex differences aren’t recognized as important.

I welcome all questions and anecdotes about what’s happening as dating becomes OBE.

18 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences

18 responses to “2695. Sex Differences No Longer Matter

  1. Miss Gina

    Not being on the dating scene, my reaction is mixed from what I observe. I see one very eligible (handsome, great education, good job, stable, godly) very traditional son going to great lengths to find a wife (driving several hours total for a single date with ladies met electronically–having been dumped for not making sexual moves or for minute religious differences–also exploring possibilities with traditional gals met in work travels overseas). However, this one focused on school and career for many years, not dating much. Then, I see a 50-year old close relative going through a series of women who are immature like himself. On the other hand, a couple of “modern” live-in situations finally led another son to marriage with second live-in. With two kids and in late twenties, he is now just about completely turned back to traditional thinking. He is committed to his marriage and surprisingly devoted to his wife–might he have been more so in a traditional situation? Unknown. The best I can say, looking at both of my sons’ friends, who are a mix of conservative and non-conservative in social outlook (though none are truly radical) is that nearly all seem to want a wife and do find one, whether after traditional dating or not. Most seem happy to be married in their first 6 years (length of the longest marriage so far). Both husbands and wives have generally shifted to more traditional thinking after marriage and kids. Kids especially seem to affect the guys and settle them. These are late twenties and early thirties. I am surprised, quite frankly, at how well they seem to be doing so far. The other thing that surprises me is the true love and attention they give their children–more perhaps than they were given…some had self-absorbed, drug-addicted, or alcoholic parents. Admittedly this is just anecdotal, but overall, it’s encouraging nonetheless to me. I think your observations are correct, Sir Guy, but my hope is that goodness and truth are overcoming the “wild” side of the male nature and bad influences in many instances.

    Your Highness Miss Gina,

    Thank you for the generous input. I could use more of the same.

    Calming the ‘wild side’ is not characteristic of the male nature. The goodness and truth you mention emanates from women, beginning with mothers, taming by girls, and completing with good wives. Unfortunately, it’s modern women who have moved to the wild side, and methinks men will respond to become poorer mates.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      Correction: first son works in the arts and does have some socially radical friends who are currently part of the gay lifestyle. Seems like most of his straight friends are settling down, or are interested in doing so.

      • Meow Meow

        i have recently come across several young couples who are getting married. Although they may have met in unusual ways–Meetup groups, online, etc…I am pleasantly surprised how generally respectful to each other and sweet they are! I’ll also say I have same-sex friends who are getting married too, and are thankful in this day and age to be able to do so. My neighbors are in their 20’s and married with 3 little kids and seem to have a happy (if busy) social life as well with other young couples with kids…and yes I concur with Miss Gina’s observation about a lot of the couples getting more traditional after marriage! So it seems there is still a lot of hope out there.

    • Miss Gina

      In these cases, I think influences from moms, wives, God, and sometimes even in small ways me have made the difference. 🙂

      Your Highness Miss Gina,
      You give yourself far too little credit. Women don’t realize the influence they have on the self-development of boys and men. When women influence indirectly, the male mind is open to doing things right and good and leaning toward female friendliness. When women try to lead and influence directly, the male mind closes to guidance and influence from the weaker sex.
      Guy

  2. Sarina

    Sir Guy, I’ve noticed a huge difference in men when I visited western countries. Was shocked to see how western guys offer much liberty and allow so many choices for their women.
    A huge contrast with my country where guys don’t even consider women as fellow humans anymore since abuse+prostitution is the norm.

    Feminists weren’t able to appreciate their quality men, how civilised and respectful they were so they molded them and transformed them into something else. Stinking rotten results might appear. Notice how men are now finding excuses as to why hitting a girl is supposedly acceptable. This is only the beginning, it will get worse since men will think of more vengeful tactics.

    Also, this promotion of feminist ‘sexual’ empowerment spread among young girls, making them preys to pimps and players, had a key role in destroying female-friendly societies.

    Your Highness Sarina,
    A wonderful and accurate analysis. Thank you.
    Guy

  3. Waiting for Odysseus

    On this side of the world and a while back, I asked our 20 something interns at work what their idea of dating is. The most common answer I received was that dating is having a girlfriend or a boyfriend with whom you share intimate experiences… It also includes having kids together and living together, going out to places and events with that person. Dating to them is not being single but being in a physical (guy) and emotional (girl) relationship with someone else. The general impression I get whenever I ask this question is that Dating is a combination of Dating and Courtship in one go! I have yet to hear someone say dating is going to the movies, or to dinner or that it’s a state of being that excludes physical and emotional intimacy. Dating as we regard it here on WWNH, does not seem to exist in the part of the world where I live. Despite this observation and people’s idea of it over here, I often dream of a man asking me to go on a date with him… I already have my WWNH-infused response and approach planned for such an opportunity! Getting any man to the point of asking me the question though, that’s the challenge I face. I do my pretty time in the mornings. I dress conservatively. I apply what you teach on here. Some times I succeed in my application, sometimes I fail. But I do try. I know down the line the question will find me, but the waiting and the patience it requires, are really challenging me to a completely new level! 🙂

    Lady Penny

    Your Highness Lady Penny,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Congratulations on your dedication to yourself as a good woman. Women especially loaded with patience and “hope springs eternal in the human breast.” [from An Essay on Man by Alexander Pope, 1734]

    Guy

  4. jubilee

    I believe, this is nothing new, and happened in the book of ISAIAH (bible)
    first, the women and children start to lead over the men, then later. turns into 7 woman getting married to one man

    • jubilee

      However, I went into a store a few days ago, and saw a lady buying artificial flowers for a wedding of a couple in their early-mid 20s, and it was supposed to be at a COUNTRY CLUB
      They knew each other for 2 years and very traditional…

  5. I just had an enlightening conversation on an all male message board. I said that i wondered if men could handle a relationship with a woman that wanted to wait until marriage for sex. Could they remain loyal and not run off with loose women? One of the males responded the following:

    Not a chance. If she’s holding back sex she’s playing control games. There aren’t chaste girls left here anymore. There may be good, marriageable women out there but they’re not waiting until marriage. Somebody is hittin’ it.

    So….what is a woman to do when males think like this?

    Your Highness Lv4000,

    Welcome aboard. It’s a great day when another pretty woman joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    “What is a woman to do?” Ignore what men say. Prove with actions that you’re different from other women.

    Beat each man at his own game. Tell him he’s wrong and defeat him with actions (refusal to act in his favor) instead of relying on words. Men believe what they figure out from a woman’s actions much better than what they are told by other men and women who fit the desired or male-identified model of a loose woman.

    Search the female heart and you will find all the talent, skill, and expertise to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver a man into marriage, if you use your natural patience, charm, and ability to lead indirectly rather than directly.

    Guy

  6. gonemaverick

    Sir Guy,

    You said, “I seek new info about what’s happening across society, so I can figure out how women can be more successful…”

    You once wrote, “Men seek to keep their emotions hidden while stirring up a female’s” and you also said men who act vague and unavailable “induce whorish behavior in women” by letting women chase them.

    A couple of weeks ago I asked for your thoughts about how men now seem to observe a woman from afar FOR MONTHS without saying a word or asking them out. They act in a way that is consistent with a man who is interested, e.g. open doors, smile, call her by name, greet, are visible wherever the woman of interest is, but they also attempt to hide their feelings even though their actions give them away.

    It feels like the way the courtship process is taking place nowadays is such that there’s a lot of non-verbal communication taking place. There’s a lot going on behind the scenes subconsciously and a lot of information being transmitted via behavior, gestures, body language and undisclosed feelings and thoughts but no asking for a date.

    I feel like men are either not sure how to respond to women that wait for them to take the lead or they feel all women are the same and at some point the woman will crumble and express his feelings and chase. Many of these men are quite decent and as a woman you wish they would just own the process and drive the courtship bus. Unfortunately, when the woman has been schooled by WWNH, many of these encounters end in a stalemate. It is such a draining process emotionally.

    Your Highness Gonemaverick,

    Your last paragraph is a clear description of what women face. As I interpret it, men face women they know too little about. His deliberately showing interest risks embarrassment. It’s a confusion bred by women out of feminism as the sire.

    They abandon their female nature in order to convince themselves that men want women who are closer and more amenable to masculine interests. Example: There’s much pleasure in sex. IOW, more like men. And so, women set out to please men, which puts them in the seller role and turns men into buyers with virtually no responsibility to prove themselves as achievers and thereby worthy of a woman. It’s an unfamiliar role for the male nature.

    By abandoning the buyer role, women confuse themselves. They avoid using their abilities beneficially, but they yield sexual assets easily and cheaply. Either way, each woman makes herself unworthy in the eyes of a man looking for more than sex with her.

    The cheap and easy way that women act confuses men who are trying to ID a good woman, one who is good enough to date and possibly marry. Confused men see women as unfeminine, dumb enough to disregard their natural attractiveness and abilities. Unwilling to take risks that may embarrass them, men stand apart, withdraw from female interests in order to focus on and let women initiate conquest or more.

    Feminism has succeeded making enemies of men and women in order to breakdown the institution of family so that government more directly can rule cultural values and standards and, thus, society. It’s been in the planning and propaganda stages for decades. Now we live with it.

    Guy

    • A.GuyMaligned

      Your Highness Gonemaverick,

      I now address your final statement: “Unfortunately, when the woman has been schooled by WWNH, many of these encounters end in a stalemate. It is such a draining process emotionally.”

      The stalemate is that men won’t date; they don’t have to. Women mistakenly expect to bond by having sex, and expect to find a good man out of that crowd of conquerors spurred on by women’s frustrations of not getting their way.

      Men bond together over the principle that women are crazy (men’s nickname), too risky to marry, and thereby unworthy to date.

      Women schooled at WWNH should have already figured out that they should do something like this and much more to stand out at the height of attractiveness:
      • Ignore men, don’t even associate except as required by employment or business.
      • Be different from your sister females. Be more independent and unavailable for men to get to know you.
      • Generate a more mysterious, more modest, more monogamous persona and directly disinterested in sex by dressing much more modestly than her peers.
      • Any man who wants anything from you, make him work for it. Even a smile, make him work for it. He asks for the time of day, tell him to check the sun. Don’t appear bitter, but be unwilling to do as he asks. He asks for a date, ask for a day or two to consider it. Tell him dating is risky; men don’t know how. Tell him his buddies will tease him. IOW, indirectly shame his masculinity, until he proves otherwise.
      • Show signs of disdain for sex; hide as much skin as practicable.
      • Get your hair styled differently than all the other gals. Dress the same way, differently. Shine as an independent person. Appear your best all the time. Do not dress for comfort but for greater attractiveness.
      • In summary, act like a highly feminine woman with higher standards and expectations than those around you. Stand out and stand on your own.

      Anyway, those are a few thoughts for how to be different and more worthy of dating. Act uninterested in dating.

      Guy

      • gonemaverick

        A winning formula Sir Guy and it works all the time. I just wish men could step up.

        Your Highness Gonemaverick,

        It takes time for a man to figure out what to believe before he can act on it. And each must do it for himself sufficiently strong that he’s willing to stand up under the teasing of peers. Then, he is willing to step up to the plate and start swinging to win one gal to his way of thinking, not realizing that it matches what she expects.

        Guy

  7. Kay

    Interesting conversation. My daughter loves going to the gym and has been going to the same location for a couple of years. What gonemaverick describes in her third paragraph about guys observing women for months without initiating contact would happen frequently to her. She would feel frustrated because she would hope that one of them would finally get around to asking her out but no one ever did. She kind of gave up thinking she was going to meet anyone at the gym but still loved working out regardless. Until…… one night she asked some young man if she could ” work in” with him using a piece of equipment. This basically means to take turns using the equipment. He agreed and was very friendly even though he hadn’t been particularly smiley when she would see him at the gym over the last several months. Anyway, to make a long story short, over the next 3 weeks he would smile and wave to her when he saw her and then finally one night he asked her out on a date! She was shocked! They went out and spent hours talking and have been together ever since. That was 8 months ago. It seemed by innocently initiating contact that was enough to break the ice

    Your Highness Kay,

    Yours is a well-told story.

    Feminism has trained girls and women to be more proactive at meeting and associating with boys and men. Men respond by being less proactive in fear more of offense than the rejection with which they learned to live. By appearing uninterested, they avoid the risk of offending gals.

    It makes men more passive as leaders, and so they dodge the misery of not following their male nature. It reminds of this; many people prefer the certainty of misery to the uncertainty of change. Single boys and men are miserable people without the confidence and encouragement generated by a beauty alongside to whom they can exhibit their leadership and please and defer to each man’s follower.

    Guy

    • Miss Gina

      Just some general thoughts…I remember you addressing this before, Sir Guy, when you told single ladies to be approachable. You have directed single ladies before to smile at all men equally.

      I think it helps, also, to work on improving conversation skills and developing a lighthearted personality–ready and willing to pick up a conversation with anyone, anytime. It doesn’t hurt to look in the mirror and honestly evaluate the face we offer the world. Does it say “no trespassing”? Maybe a friend would help out with this one.

      I recall the ancient female icebreaker of the dropped hanky…For millenia, women have found ways to break the ice with men that involve asking for their assistance…Goodness! I don’t think we have a right to entirely leave all of the work up to the men, just because feminists have distorted the roles so much. Not to say that Lady Gonemaverick is in need of any of this advice specifically, but I continue with general thoughts…

      As a younger, married grandma, not particularly looking for male attention, I get approached by men young and old all the time now for a bit of friendly conversation. I am certain that this would lead to some invitations to dates from good men, if I were single. This did not happen before my extreme pretty time *and* my own efforts to reach out to others, be approachable, be joyful at all times, and to share joy with others, just because it is the right thing to do as a Christian. I do not wish to brag, because it has been just an unexpected side effect of growing as a person and a Christian for me, but perhaps by my experience other ladies can benefit.

      I think a lot of men these days are afraid of getting their heads bitten off for nothing. It is not being too forward to be smiling and willing to make conversation wherever we find ourselves. We can hold men to high standards after we have hooked them, but it will never happen until they feel safe to approach.

      The women I encounter in person who ask these questions are unwittingly giving out some kind of signal that is off in some way–too shy, too intimidating/aloof, or something else. It is impossible to tell over the internet. Maybe a friendly male relative could advise.

      • gonemaverick

        Miss Gina,

        Your comment made me smile. I hope what I’m about to say doesn’t come off as bragging. I have no problem attracting men. ALL kinds of men. Thanks to pretty time and Sir Guy.

        I am a darling of the elderly men. I am pleasant, courteous and I pull off the coy demeanour with aplomb. #giggles. I have men around me, good men, all the time. But other than show all the signs of interest, they never step up to drive the bus to ask for dates and that is where the stalemate is. I am not about to make it easy on any man to ask me out on a date because the brave always do and have even though they are few and far between.

        • Miss Gina

          Dear Lady Gonemaverick,

          It isn’t bragging to state facts. 😉

          However, I’m a little surprised that a lady who takes pride in not being easy to date would wonder aloud why she is getting exactly what she wants. Not that it is a bad thing to want, necessarily, but it does limit opportunities when they are already scarce.

          I come at this from the perspective of both a lady and a mom of two adult young men. One is married, and one is not. I have some understanding of both sides–including what it takes for a good man to put himself out there, take some risks, and put out a lot of hard-earned money to get to know a female who looks nice on the outside but who may just be waiting for the right moment to emasculate him. Worse–she could draw him into marriage, have a couple of kids with him, then take the kids and be awarded all his money by the courts. Now, I am not saying that a man shouldn’t take risks and pay to get to know a woman. But in these times, a good man faces much higher risks than he once did. One can’t blame a man for taking all of this into account.

          *If* the number of dates a lady is invited on is not satisfactory to her, then she has only one factor that is within her power to change–herself and her approach. It may be that in spite of attraction, something strikes men in a way other than intended. Or it could be that the individual is not a good fit for the pool of candidates in the vicinity. Or something else.

          In my own case, my mother told me that the reason I didn’t have a single schoolmate ask me out in all of high school was that I intimidated them. Now, I see that she was right. I was a very high academic achiever and pretty. I had many girlfriends and various male flirters and hangers-on. Less attractive and academically successful girls got dates with the guys I really liked, though! Much older men and guys at my high school jobs would compliment me and flirt, but that wasn’t dating. My fault in that case was probably a lack of confidence and social skills to open doors with guys who would have seen me as an appropriate challenge. Neither was I the type who made everyone feel comfortable, back then–I was a bit too quiet and serious, and I think that left guys feeling less than adequate–a big no-no. I don’t think it was the males’ fault, in my case. While hard-to-get is important, approachability is, too. There is a balance.

          A man has to feel that he is needed…could it be that you appear so highly attractive and self-sufficient and satisfied with keeping your business to yourself that a prospective date feels he would have nothing to offer you? Is it possible that “coy” translates to “not interested” or “uncomfortable social situation that makes me look bad and I need to flee” as it appears to a prospect?

          Not saying any of this is the case here–but perhaps there may be something of help.

          • gonemaverick

            Interesting thought Miss Gina but I’m not convinced. I think men have perfected the art of being vague and unavailable. They know what to do but they show just enough interest and sit back and wait for the woman to chase because they are used to being chased and what makes me so special that I don’t. I’m new in this current pool of men and I’m gonna be the teacher who (as Sir Guy beautifully put it) “convinces them that they are more disposable than important, weak than strong, unappealing than admirable and less dominant than they think” and have fun while waiting. Re: demeanour of “appear so highly attractive and self-sufficient and satisfied with keeping your business to yourself”, its on purpose because I know the type I attract and they know me.

            Thank you again for your thoughts. I enjoy the exchanges here.

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