2699. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating


Q. How do women minimize the risk of husband cheating?

A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why?

  • The male nature oils and unlocks the door. It’s a man’s permanent, lifelong, and natural male urge to conquer attractive women. Put on earth to spread his seed, women have to defeat that primal urge in order to live with a faithful man.
  • It’s easy for women to blame men for cheating; they should obey their promises, vows, etc. But men don’t swear off conquering attractive women except to please one woman to whom they can and do devote themselves. Dedication to her becomes more influential than wordy promises. She is so important to him, that he gives up his natural urges in order to keep her satisfied with him and him with himself.
  • The female nature is imminently capable of making extinct her man’s urge to conquer others. Mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and finally the one to whom he’s devoted teach, train, and condition the male psyche to fulfill a woman’s expectations for their relationship. In fact, women need to work together and exploit the superiority of their gender. They help each other, and the one to whom a man is devoted takes it from there.
  • The toughest part is the final result; a well-conditioned husband’s psyche willing to please his woman by honoring his devotion and her expectation with his faithfulness.
  • The best insurance lies here. His dedicated-to-himself character prevents disappointing himself by violating promises and vows—that’s his contribution if and when he’s devoted to one woman. His devotion to her is deep and unequaled among his other dedications and predilections—and it’s hers to both earn and keep.

Regardless of planning, preparation, and conditioning of her man’s psyche in courtship, how wives treat husbands tremendously affects masculine fidelity—often without her being aware of the consequences of many of her words and actions. It’s next.

10 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage

10 responses to “2699. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating

  1. Sarabeth

    Hi Guy,

    Welcome back. I’ve been dating a guy for the past year and things have been going extremely well. While he is not a Christian, I am, he has been expressing interest in going with me to church and I have VV to thank. At this stage of the relationship, I want to get married and before the end of the year. I plan to express to him I no longer wish to continue dating unless it includes a ring and a wedding date but I wonder if I should postpone this talk. Mostly because I wonder if he will convert to being a Christian, as a way of being devoted to me, if I give him more time. Now I have to admit a something, I would be happy to marry him as he is today because I feel he’s a great guy with sound character. However, I’m not sure how he would fair when he meets my parents who want me to marry a Christian man.

    I look forward to reading your thoughts on the matter, thank you.

    Your Highness Sarabeth,

    All goes so well for you, why do you expect to win by new pressures applied directly? Impatience? Expect to please others? Make him commit? Expect to talk him into a ring? Think he will act on what you say and expect?

    How much of his respect will you hold, after he learns he must meet the expectations of your parents? It’s a huge difference between you wanting him to meet parental standards, and it being his idea to please your parents because he wants their support for life with you.

    Directness doesn’t win a suitor’s conviction. His belief and conviction comes from what he figures out from his woman’s indirectness, and not what he’s told directly or is expected to let her have her way.

    If your relationship were mature enough, he would be thinking about such things. By applying your pressures, you torpedo your own ship. Pressures: deadline for marriage, insistence on telling him, pushing for ring/marriage decision, devotion equals Christianity or vice versa, lack of independence by leaning on parental approval. A man can’t be satisfied with himself by abiding your expectations.

    If you want those answers, quit dating him and let him decide if he has to have you. Does he want you badly enough to restore dating so he can bring the relationship to a permanent arrangement? If not his idea and commitment, it won’t last very long.

    Guy

    • Meow Meow

      One of my devout friends has been married for over 30 years to an atheist–a man in the medical profession who was value-driven, kind, loving, a great husband, and a dedicated father to their 7 children. He accompanied his wife to church for form’s sake and family togetherness but didn’t really value it personally. Last year my husband and I were invited to his conversion ceremony at age 63! One of the things my friend’s husband said was that he never really imagined himself converting but over the years he was so impressed by his wife’s constant faith and the strength it gave her and the works of good service the church performed in the community that he finally just couldn’t see any reason not to become religious too. His heart was ready to make the leap of faith.

      • Sarabeth

        Aww! What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing. The lesson I learned here is this: it might take a long time before he finally converts although he is happy to attend service with me. Like I said earlier, I feel like I’m dating Mr Good Enough. I am happy to marry him as he is today but I’m worried about my parents’ opinion of him. What if my parents believe his lack of Christian faith is not good enough for me? I am also considering Sir Guy’s statement of “respect is proportional to the wait for sex.” It makes me wonder how long is too long? Should I date him another year? I’m trying to solve two problems at the moment . . .

        Your Highness Sarabeth,
        If you can’t decide whether your parents or husband come first in your life, find another man. If his conversion is not totally voluntary and his one-sided commitment, it will be meaningless.
        Guy

      • stephanie deGange

        meow-meow, this is such a lovely story…

  2. Sarabeth
    I write my note because you have made your views public, perhaps expecting others input. In this I feel secure, and hope you will appreciate that I write the note in love.
    “I wonder if he will convert to being a Christian, as a way of being devoted to me, if I give him more time.”
    Here’s the thing honey, it’s not about you. We take the name of Christ because God is vaster and holier than we could ever imagine and in his mercy he sent Christ to bridge his holiness and our inbuilt WADWFGAO. Devotion to others/romance is just a small reflection of the bigger picture and the big picture is Jesus.
    God cannot be manipulated to our small story and neither can others. I think Sir Guy gives us freely of his wisdom regarding men so that we can change our ourselves. I am not sure that it is given to manipulate men, that over time, we may get our way.
    My small advice? Give thought to the big picture, recommit yourself as a proclaimed servant of Christ and open up your life and relationships to whatever He would tell you. It may mean apologizing to your man and telling him that you have wasted a year of his life because you planned and didn’t ask God for his plans. It may mean that he becomes a Christian. I can assure you that if he does the name on his lips will be “Jesus.” Be strong and wise honey.

    Ps Meow Meow – Good story!

    • Meow Meow

      Exactly Sarabeth and Thankful, my point was not that my friend manipulated her husband into becoming a Christian but simply that she exposed him to her lived beliefs. She lived and raised her family according to the bigger picture regardless of what he did or not, being true to herself. And he ALREADY was a Mr. Goodenough, a thoughtful man of good moral character, a doctor who saved lives, and over time he decided to convert on his own, which I consider a much bigger challenge than simply being born into a faith and doing/believing things by rote…. Even if he had not converted, he was/is still an amazing, moral man with an incredibly demanding job who provided for his big family and stayed with his wife through times of sorrow and hardship including the raising of two severely autistic children.

      I wish sometimes we would step away from using that term “Christian” as it seems self-aggrandizing, because after all only God can truly see into our hearts and judge us worthy of that name. (There being so many people that use that word to describe themselves but belong to very different denominations, each one claiming that theirs is the only “true” way to be Christian. This is not the world I grew up in….) At any rate there are not many good men of any faith (or lack thereof) like him and I am proud to call him a friend.

  3. Amazing gracee

    Being religious and being a Christian are two very different things. A true Christian , a saved, follower of Jesus Christ, would not marry a nonbeliever as scripture is very clear on God’s expressed will that believers are only to marry other believers in the Lord.

    Your Highness Amazing Gracee,
    Welcome aboard. I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

  4. gonemaverick

    The Bible also says, “In the same way, you wives, be in subjection to your husbands, so that IF ANY are NOT obedient to the word, they MAY BE WON without a word through the conduct of their wives,”

    • Amazing Gracee

      Gone Maverick, that verse in context is to already married women who subsequently became believers. That is not the situation Sara Beth has relayed here. My comment is merely to clarify that God’s will in this instance is clear-don’t be joined to an unbeliever. Praying to ask for God to reveal
      His will (in this situation) He already has through His Word and perhaps as used me to elucidate that. Perhaps THIS is the answer to that prayer.

      I know I have been guilty of asking God for things my heart desired even though they were clearly against His expressed will for all of His children. Although others on my life had to show me this andhold me accountable to my expressed faith. We as human beings have a tendency to want to fit God into our will rather than accepting the truth and guidance He has already given us in His Word.

  5. Sarabeth

    Hi all,

    Thank you so much for your feedback. It is very much appreciated. Here are my responses:
    1. “why do you expect to win by new pressures applied directly? Impatience? Expect to please others? Make him commit? Expect to talk him into a ring? Think he will act on what you say and expect?”

    When I decided I wanted to settle down I also decided I would not date a man beyond a year, especially if we’re exclusive, without a clear vision for the future. I knew he wanted to settle down as well but I kinda got the sense he wanted to wait another year. I wasn’t entirely sure if that was the case until after the one year anniversary passed without a proposal, to my surprise. I felt it time to have the talk so I prayed about it and moved forward. Which ever way the wind blew, I was prepared for it.

    2. “Pressures: deadline for marriage, insistence on telling him, pushing for ring/marriage decision, devotion equals Christianity or vice versa, lack of independence by leaning on parental approval. A man can’t be satisfied with himself by abiding your expectations.”

    There have been no discussion nor I have put any pressure on him about his faith or vice versa and about my parents’ approval of him.

    3. “Give thought to the big picture, recommit yourself as a proclaimed servant of Christ and open up your life and relationships to whatever He would tell you.” && “If you can’t decide whether your parents or husband come first in your life, find another man.” && “A true Christian , a saved, follower of Jesus Christ, would not marry a nonbeliever as scripture is very clear on God’s expressed will that believers are only to marry other believers in the Lord.”

    I dated a lot of men before I became exclusive with my boyfriend. Some were Christians. I gave everyone a fair chance at dating me and I also prayed over every date asking God to remove anyone he felt unfit for me including my boyfriend. A week before I had the talk and seconds before, I prayed about it. I told God I would accept what happened next as a sign from him. My boyfriend wants to set a date. As for my parents’ approval, I’m going to put my trust in God.

    Your Highness Sarabeth,

    “My boyfriend wants to set a date. As for my parents’ approval, I’m going to put my trust in God.”

    You followed your plan and solved your own problems beautifully. Congratulations.

    Guy

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