Any mature man worthy of being depended on as a mate has certain traits that make up his worthiness. It’s not what a woman sees on the outside. When screening men, a woman should expect that these convictions exist within.
- His self-respect exceeds his respect of others until each person earns much more than he originally detects and judges. (Women differ.)
- He’s committed to successful accomplishments in his life. He expects to achieve what he aims at, and he works and perhaps fights hard to avoid failing or defer failure.
- He knows he’s already good enough for any woman that will have him as her mate and lover. Consequently, he expects to fittingly sell himself to win a likeable object of his respect, lust, or love.
- He does things and thinks and worries about physical connections. (Women differ.)
- A likeable woman remains that as long as he’s satisfied with who she is and what she does. His initial feelings and the respect she earns make her likeable, but his satisfaction rests more on masculine values and expectations than her feelings about him.
- He judges her by what he thinks. (Women differ.)
- He seeks self-satisfaction that tends to confirm his admiration as a man. (Women differ.)
- His prime mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. (Women differ.)
Then, he marries the most likeable woman who earns his respect for who she is and what she does and can do, which are his personal standards for living with someone. IOW, her feelings about him are secondary to his expectations.
Consequently, he marries a woman good enough when they meet at the altar. But does she remain so? Does he remain satisfied with 1) committing himself to his altar-mate? 2) Devoting his life to their future together? 3) Preparing for what he can become with her dedicated to support his life? 4) Promising to brighten her future? It remains to be seen as married life unfolds.
The root cause of husband’s venturing into the cheating game lies here. Wife becomes different than husband expects. She sees him differently once he’s legally obligated. She doesn’t treat him as in courtship. She finds fault with him or his efforts. She spotlights his weaknesses and tries to do something about them. She imposes guilt trying to change him. She nags and criticizes and expects his reactions to favor her expectations. She tries to recover from having not screened him well enough, from having chosen wrongly. In short, she acts childishly to make him appear childish.
Women focus so hard on capturing a husband that they don’t screen adequately or know themselves well enough to be the good wife, defined by husbands as the one he courted and who acts the same before and after marriage.
IOW, he’s not the man she intended or hoped to marry and she intends to improve him, confirm that he’s not worthy of her, or recover the best she can. A little room exists within the character of a husband to permit her ‘recovery’ tactics. But not a lot.
He detects lack of respect, ingratitude, and unwillingness to depend on him. All of which corrupts her likeability and his sense of satisfaction living with her.
The more she becomes different from his bride’s behavior, the more quickly he considers looking elsewhere for the recognition that he thinks he deserves. Wife cheats him of his dignity, self-satisfaction, and consequent self-admiration, and his cheating on her is the most easily recognized method for husband’s recovery, respite, or revenge.
WADWMUFGAO. When wife feels good putting him down, he finds recovery outside the home. Hence, the root cause of husbandly infidelity is wifely dissatisfaction with husband’s inability to live up to her expectations that in all probability changed after the ceremony.