2706. Perfectionist Women


Perfectionism is a domestic disease that cripples homes and families. Women are susceptible.

Too many girls are raised to be perfectionists. For example, perfectionist at loving someone; expecting to be loved perfectly by her definition of how a man should love her; or maintaining her perfectly appointed and cared for home, kids, family, or marriage. IOW, she likes herself according to how hard she tries to be perfect.

Pushing her perfectionism onto others will likely see her fail the test of successful wife, mother, or both. If a woman needs to make anyone or anything perfect, she should first develop her feminine qualities and attributes as described in Female Blessings from Birth at the top of blog articles.

Those blessings can help any woman be considered great as female, woman, wife, mother, friend, and lover. That is, as close as she can get to being perfect in the eyes of others. It amounts to this. She’s near-perfect when others see little need for her improvement at making females feel good about their importance and males to admire who they are and what they do. Everyone develops themselves, and the ‘perfect’ wife and mom is the woman who helps them develop as they seek to follow their dreams.

A woman has no need to be perfect for her man. She only needs to keep him satisfied with her, their way of life, their kids, and with himself. It means she only has to keep herself satisfied that those around her are developing well and satisfied with progress toward their dreams and what they hope to become or do.

If she expects perfection out of herself or others, she becomes the judge and jury and runs her domestic show with grating noise instead of feminine music well-harmonized. As she tries to get anyone to be more like her, trying to be perfect in thought or deed, she ignores this fact of life. Perfection is impossible. Pursuing it in any form grounds relationships on the sharp, slashing coral reefs that surround home and life.

8 Comments

Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

8 responses to “2706. Perfectionist Women

  1. Amen,Sir Guy! Well said. We girls need to lighten up, be a bit playful,and have some fun with the men in our lives. Most men actually don’t care if we’ve cleaned the oven, they just enjoy seeing us happy, content. 🙂

    Your Highness Insanitybytes22,
    Right on! I can’t wait for the pendulum to begin swinging back in that direction. I’d like to see women smarten up before I pass on.
    Guy

  2. Femme

    I agree about perfectionism.
    What about quality and excellence Sir Guy?

    Your Highness Femme,
    Quality is excellent and excellence is sought after by quality people.
    Guy

  3. stephanie deGange

    i work so diligently at not being a perfectionist. ocd can make things hard on me and my family…thank you

  4. Miss Gina

    So true, Sir Guy. Perfectionism kills joy and laughter, which smooth over life’s ditches. They make everyone feel comfortable with us and want to be around us, including men–who so often silently are afraid of failure.

  5. It has always seemed to me that men, in their desire to explore, discover, learn, and master, are often more perfectionistic than women.

    And they get away with it since accomplishing things in life and maintaining those accomplishments is not a moral issue as it is with women. Women, rightly or wrongly, often feel a great deal of shame if they can’t live up to standards they set for themselves or that others set for them. Failure equals being a bad person.

    Not so with men. Whatever areas of life they think they should focus on, men (at least the men I have known) just “get ‘er done.” They don’t agonize over things; they just figure out a way to be “perfect.”

    And if they can’t they just walk away from whatever they’re trying to accomplish and look for something they stand a better chance of conquering. Failure does NOT generally seem to equal being a bad person; it just seems to equal being a good person who made a bad mistake.

    Whether this view is realistic or not depends on circumstances, I guess.

    At any rate, men can have standards that are as high or higher than those of women; they just seem better able to justify things and take the pressure off themselves if they can’t live up to those standards.

    Your Highness Edith Mcklveen,

    Good thinking, my dear, and clearly done.

    “Whether this view is realistic or not depends on circumstances, I guess.”

    I would say the quote above, however, depends more on their different and often opposed natures exposed by the differing accomplishments they pursue. IOW, all is okay, no one to blame; they sexes are just different.

    Guy

    • Some Other Guy

      Most men have a strong focus on just a few key areas of life and work. Those areas that we focus on, we are determined to be the best that we can possibly be at it. Everything else, we relegate to 2nd or lesser priority and don’t try to be the best at it. And don’t really care to be the best. Nobody is perfect at everything. We accept that and focus on just the important stuff. And this appears to you as just getting it done without agonizing over it. That is by intent. You are not supposed to see the agonizing that goes on behind the scenes. What appears to you as something that “just happens” is the result of intense strategy, planning and hard work. The men in your life have deliberately withheld all of the blood sweat and tears from you. I congratulate them. They have done well in this. Men learn early in life that the appearance of effortless mastery is highly rewarded in our society. But trust me, there are no successes at anything that happen without lots of effort.

      Sir Some Other Guy,
      Welcome back and well done!
      Guy

      • I think what you have described is why my father apparently withheld from my mother that he had a stroke, believe it or not.

        He died of the combined effects of a *second stroke* and a heart attack. Evidence of a *first stroke* (months earlier on the other side of the brain) showed up when they did a brain scan in the emergency room.

        My mother said that, at the time when the first stroke apparently occurred, Daddy seemed “off.” (!)

        Daddy was an accomplished human being, a chemical engineer with many hobbies carried out with professional interest: higher math, carpentry, car repair, gardening, cooking, writing, and even sewing (he made my Halloween costume one year).

        Where he was skilled or knowledgeable or capable, he displayed that thoroughly but with studied indifference. Where he was not skilled or knowledgeable or capable, he just smiled and kept his mouth shut.

        In the end, that ploy didn’t serve him all that well, but he carried it out to the end.

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