I purposely exaggerate with the title above, but just a little. Women too easily talk their way out of a man’s interest. It should be the motto of every single woman meeting and hoping to team up with a man.

I love it when a pretty woman inspires a daily article such as this one. At post 2713 Her Highness Etu asked me, “Sir Guy how can …” and she goes on to describe her concerns as a single conservative traditional girl. I break up and quote her lament and then address each section.

“Sir Guy how can a single conservative traditional girl get across to guys that she’s not a feminist…”

Keep your mouth shut. Act, dress, and talk more feminine. Don’t try to convince anyone of anything. It’s none of their business. You are who you are. They will eventually judge you separately and regardless of the connections you have or don’t have with feminism. Don’t convey who and what you are — magnify your mystery and make them earn that information. Mystery is very attractive to men. Keep smiling for no apparent reason, for it also adds mystery.

Learn to live with pregnant pauses, stalls in conversation, and the discomfort that women suffer when they can’t or shouldn’t talk. It’s a skill, so learn it. The one who can put up with silence is the one who manages the convo. The object is to make him talk while you listen.

“that she would rather be a wife/mother than a drone in the working world where she is now?”

Keep your mouth shut and duplicate the above. Also, act more monogamous, less flirty, more modest, less interested in what men do as men rather than mates, and even refuse to do or even talk about man-things that would offend a housewife/mother.

When a man seeks to talk about sex, change the subject to marriage. Each time he tries, you politely and indirectly let him know his subject isn’t appropriate for you at this time and place. You will be able to separate those after sex from those after you, which is the toughest job women have dealing with a man for a life together.

Keep more to yourself (not shy) by changing subjects to get away from too easily revealing yourself. Be hard to get, both in sex and everything else. Be nice, pleasant, smiling, and encouraging. Be slow to fulfill what he’s after but not to the point of losing his interest or offending him. Just make men earn whatever they learn about you.

“It’s like no matter how many good conversations I have with conservative guys about politics and beliefs….”

Keep your mouth shut. Don’t talk about politics with men; act so innocent they do all the talking and you just nod your head that they know what they talk about. Men respect a woman that listens well to them. It doesn’t begin with it, but a man’s love won’t develop without respect for her.

“there is still this sense of intimidation maybe because of my professional job. I am low on the totem pole but to those outside the realm it may seem impressive….,

Keep her mouth shut. Protect the details of your life that you think may work against you. Full disclosure is one of the greatest frauds that feminists inflicted on women. Loss of mystery means reduction in her attractiveness.

“and I like these salt of the earth guys who typically don’t have an advanced degree but a strong work ethic.”

A good screening question is this: ‘Where did you learn your work ethic?’ His response, if any, should be very informative about how his character developed—or didn’t.

Learn to bait and fish such guys out of the pool, whether they are good enough for you or not. It’s good practice. Keep them talking about themselves, and you will learn how to identify the ones you are looking for.

When you try hard, go out of your way, and proactively work to get a man, you appear desperate and men don’t respect desperate. Also, you reduce yourself to sex target only and his interest in you as possible mate falls. Trying to compensate by offering sex pushes you further behind because of the male nature and how men change after first sex together, i.e., conquest.

The successful woman sends no signs that she’s eager to match up with any guy. Her attractiveness got his attention. Her mystery holds his interest. She has to determine if he’s after her or just after sex. So, sit down, shut up, listen, and wait for the man good enough to court you out of the pool full of desperate women.

A man’s devotion starts to develop as he seeks to please you, and devotion is the first leg of a man’s love. After you learn how to get a man to produce what pleases you, you can discretely and more skillfully disclose who you are and what you think.

I leave you with this. The longer a man pursues and pleases a woman in order to uncover her weaknesses so he can bed her the first time, the more qualities he accidentally discovers that he can admire. Each is a virtue, and men seek to marry a virtuous woman.

Good luck,



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, Re-published

12 responses to “2714. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

  1. gonemaverick

    “The one who can put up with silence is the one who manages the convo.” It works all the time Sir Guy. Brilliant! #giggling

  2. Etu

    Sir Guy thank you for indulging us with this one and I am pleased you took such thought to answe my question ma in a post! I have to say…the idea of not talking politics with a guy makes me sad. I feel like I’ve formed the strongest connections with guys based on common political ground and our ability to talk with each other about these subjects in a way we can’t in our politically correct workspaces etc. is there some way a girl can bait the topics? Express an opinion and let him lead? I absolutely have to know where a man stands on God, abortion, same sex hoopla, money management. Is how a socialist? Where does he stand on the nuances? The last few years I have dated rock solid conservatives although I find the greater test is…what does he believe and know about biblical doctrine? I’m no expert there either but need to engage a man on that broad subject as well…without coming off like a bossy know it all. I think for some men just broaching such a topic is scary regardless of what I know or don’t know. Men and women are both dropping the ball but it’s squarely up to women to fix asI do believe, as this blog has taught me we are better equipped for that job.

    Your Highness Etu,
    Don’t be discouraged about how guys stand on politics, bible, etc. Ask questions, don’t be smart alecky about it, and don’t offer your opinions. Let them take the bait, ruminate, and express their positions/opinions. You learn a lot when your interaction is designed to keep yourself quiet except for neat questions that stir interest but don’t reflect adversely on those questioned.

    • Meow Meow

      I agree Etu, its extremely important to find out where a man stands politically as if you get married you will certainly be dealing a lot with his views all the time and they will most likely be influencing your daily life. Are his politics/beliefs ones you can live with? I wish I had vetted my husband a little more about these things, so I think you’re on the right track wanting to know.

      Also, just a side comment, not all conservatives are religious/practicing. Its interesting to me how a lot of the younger generation (my apologies Etu, I do not mean you necessarily) seem more concerned about whether a man says he believes specific bible passages or doctrine then about visibly demonstrated basic, values driven stuff like a belief in hard work, integrity, grit under trying circumstances, putting on your game face/stiff upper lip, individual rights, limited government intervention, bravery, clarity, etc. Such a man in the past who espoused these values whether church-goer or not would have been considered “conservative” whether Republican, Democrat or Independent in my neck of the woods and it had little to do with specific bible passages. It was just part of our culture and so even people who did not frequently go to church (or never went) were still indirectly influenced by those values that today are associated with “conservatives.”

      (I am not sure if this blog is specifically speaking to Evangelicals but many do comment here. I am not one, just someone speaking about the general cultural/religious shift I have witnessed over the last couple generations.)

  3. Very cute post, Sir Guy. Keep your mouth shut. It’s so true, we girls do love to talk!

    Often the best way to capture a man’s interest is to NOT talk, but to listen, keep the mystery and intrigue going, make him curious about who you are. If you simply spill the beans, there is nothing to chase and discover. Less is more.

    To this day the best way to get my husband’s attention is to smile, but not talk. Ha! There’s nothing scarier than a silent, smiling woman!

    I’m kidding, but if hubby doesn’t hear me chattering on about something, he does tend to take a sudden interest in my well being, to start pursuing and instigating the conversation. It is far more effective than nagging. I could pour words all over that man and he wouldn’t hear half of it, but the moment I stop talking, he suddenly starts paying attention.

  4. back to basics

    I love it, an informative and amusing read. I hope I am not commenting too much at once, but I want to ask if being tight-lipped about topics like politics hold for the duration of a marriage? Only when prompted? Not talk about it at all?

    Your Highness Back to Basics,

    Yes, tight-lipped with your opinions, but not with your contributions to keep interest up and dialogue going. Bob and weave till you figure out how to best dialogue with him.

    You’ve gone too far if he gets out of sorts with what you say, but you know that about things other than politics.

    You contribute best by asking questions. Example: You like Trump but he doesn’t. Inquire if he thinks Trump will last eight or even four years, then ask why he thinks that way. If you just have to argue back, stop, go into silent mode, and change the subject. If you just have to let him know that you stand firmly behind Trump, ask him something like this, “Honey, how could I possibly think that Trump is such a great man?” If he calls you names after that, try something else later down the road.

    It’s called feminine charm, wit, and female presence of mind


  5. Lex

    This is golden!!

    I am curious…how does the “keep your mouth shut” rule apply in marriages? Is it similar to in courtship? I am new to this amazing blog so please direct me if there is another post in this matter that i may have missed.


    Your Highness Lex,

    As you may have figured out, “keep your mouth shut” is an exaggeration. I use it to keep the focus applied to these thoughts. Men don’t appreciate free gifts, they believe best what they figure out rather than what they are told, and women have the natural patience to go second, especially when they win more that way.

    So, when she unloads and describes her day as soon as he gets home, she interferes with his just completed task, frustration escape, and downtime ritual. When she waits for him to ask about her day, he’s more ready to listen, gets to figure out how well she did, and he is more deeply influenced by her experience. So, if she deserves sympathy, empathy, or praise, she gets it better when she exercises her native patience and waits for him to turn his interest to her day. It’s more a function of his dominant nature than who and what she is to him.


    • Lex

      I just saw the comment above which mentioned marriage. But in general i guess i am wondering how to balance mystery with the constant conversations and his asking about my day etc.

      Your Highness Lex,
      After marriage, your mystery comes from your not trying to tell him everything but letting him inquire about you. The absence of anxiety to teach and preach to him enables you to settle into a woman unique from all others. You found some level of that to satisfy him in courtship, did you not? So, let it continue in marriage. He expects to live with the same woman to whom he proposed, and to do it for life too. That is, same to the eyes, ears, and heart.

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