2719. Depression in Children — Corrective Model


Action is the light at the end of the depression tunnel. Worthwhile determination cures a lot of emotional malaise, apprehension, and disappointment. I propose a simple model for parental upbringing that motivates kids to proactively develop themselves, and I suggest that it prevents depression throughout life.

It’s based on this assumption. We are all self-developers, and we start as toddlers. However immature kids may be and act, their determination is mature to them. Except when trying to get their way in the moment, they may not know specifically what they want. But they are determined to keep agitating with life around them until they figure out the next step needed to confirm or satisfy themselves as self-important girls or self-admired boys.

Boys and girls are born differently, have different causes of depression, but prevention is the same for both. Prevention comes from fulfilling worthy responsibilities to the primary satisfaction of the child, not just the parent or someone else. Kids are anxious and not reluctant to exploit their determination when they know who they are, what they can do, their self-interest remains focused on the present and the future, and they expect to at least get by with it.

Both sexes learn through successful self-development that they are confident, capable, and deserve recognition of their competence. At least good enough that parents don’t squawk.

Part of self-development is learning to shift from satisfying oneself to satisfying someone else simply because the boy wants to do it the way someone he admires would do it, or the girl wants to do it the way someone important to her wants something done. Being arbitrarily required to do something to please someone else that is contrary to a child’s satisfaction does two things, it shows less respect than a child expects and thereby interrupts self-development.

We adults do it this way too. Self-development teaches kids to behave within the boundaries of their self-image, the picture they have of themselves in terms of who they are and what they can do, will do, and expect to do, or at least try to do. Their self-image is fully developed at any single moment, they know who and what they are. And so, that picture self-authorizes them to act, to exercise their determination.

When someone has a favorable picture of who they are, they try not to disappoint themselves in what they do. They keep their lives focused within the picture they have of themselves. If they have a poor picture, it keeps them disappointed in themselves, uncertainty and angst settle in, and they lean toward or enter depression.

Children try to develop themselves to their own satisfaction. They know what they want, soon learn something better exists, and many of their wants turn to needs. Kids modify their behavior to move toward new wants and needs. It’s the same process by which we adults live our lives.

The cause of childhood depression is thus rooted in the subculture of parental interference with the self-development of children in the years before puberty.

Next. The sexes are born different. Even traits they lack at birth are different. Girls lack self-respect but have special attractions by which they can earn it associating with boys and men. Boys lack self-love and depend on self-admiration to earn it and female love to endorse it and keep it functional.

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Filed under Dear daughter, Her glory, marriage, nurturing, sex differences, The mind

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