2720. Depression in Children — Differences in the Sexes

I last left you with this thought. The sexes are born different. Even traits they lack at birth are different. Girls lack self-respect and boys lack self-love. Each earns what they lack as they grow up. They earn it performing very different, simple, and adult facts of life; development occurs by doing so in steps slightly beyond their level of maturity.

Those missing traits are critical to both the proper alignment of mating compatibility and depression avoidance. Without self-respect, women can’t protect themselves against male dominance. Without self-love, men can’t love a woman as she deserves and expects.

Girls learn to assist and work alongside mothers, regularly perform lightweight chores, develop hygienic habits, arrange their lives as an independent person, attire and groom to feel good, keep themselves attractive and appealing as duty to themselves. The more that independence, self-confidence, and determination stabilize in their minds, the more self-respect accumulates in their hearts. Thus, girls earn self-respect through their own initiative, effort, achievement, and self-development under the guidance mostly of mom.

The earlier the better applies here. Self-respect earned before puberty serves as the most significant trait for a gal to get her way dealing with adults of the opposite sex. It is greatest in gals who have no fear of living with confidence, determination, and perhaps brashness. Moreover, lack of fear steers them away from depression. Self-respect enables them to overcome troubles that impact decisions and problems that affect their lives; they are in charge or have reasonable evidence to think so.

The self-development of girls happens with female guidance and needs no endorsement by the opposite sex. Girls and women develop on their own, whereas males do not develop so independently. Boys and men need affirming endorsement or at least obvious acceptance by females to earn self-love.

Boys learn to work alongside their fathers, perform ever more complicated chores, and clean up out of respect for others after they have accomplished whatever they work on or however they play. As they pile up accomplishments, the beginnings of self-love accumulate in the mind.

However, a boy’s heart awaits confirmation of self-love by respect shown by one or more respected females. IOW, men can’t love themselves as person when lacking the endorsement of woman, first mom and subsequently a mate. Boys earn self-love by earning the love of someone else, which begs the question: Does he have to purposely earn and keep mom’s love to convince himself that he’s loved? Or, does mother-love prevail so obviously that he does not have to earn someone else’s love?

The answer to those questions is critical for a woman trying to select a good candidate, marry, and harmonize her home and family. If a boy purposely earned and kept his mom’s love, he likely makes a good mate. IOW, he did not expect love for nothing. If mother-love was displayed so obviously that the boy had nothing to do to get it, he likely makes a poor mate. IOW, he likely was spoiled.

Do you see the female’s dilemma? Boys and men can live without self-love, but they possess streaks of undependability they—but not their mates—can live with. If girls never earn self-respect in childhood and if their mate is short of self-love, women find life and marriage disappointing and tough to handle. It lays groundwork for depression episodes for wives.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, nurturing, old school, sex differences, The mind

3 responses to “2720. Depression in Children — Differences in the Sexes

  1. Femme

    That is excellent, Sir Guy!
    Thank you.
    I might have accidentally done something right with my son’s upbringing, after all.
    Good to know they (males) need us for something other than sex, too.

    Your Highness Femme,

    Women stay so focused on sex they think men have no other needs. There’s an old battle strategy, know thy enemy. Feminism makes enemies of men and women, and the reverse happens. As antagonism swells, women lose their knowledge of the male nature.

    Anyway, by nature men don’t release or discuss more personal, emotional reasons they need a woman. Most of it operates in background, men think on it indirectly in the pursuit process. Old school: Most men sought to be married. Wives learned they were much more marry-able when marriage was a requirement for sex.


  2. Femme

    How very true, Sir Guy.
    We know less and less about men and I think the reverse happens as well.
    It could also – apart from men and women being made into enemies – be due to the fact that these days, we are supposed to be the same.
    Not an incentive for women to learn about the male nature.
    Just for clarification purposes, though: elsewhere, you say respect, not love, is what matters to a man most. He respects her, and feels she respects him back.
    Where does love come into the equation?
    Feeling a little lost here.

    Your Highness Femme,
    On top of respect. If he doesn’t respect her, his love has no foundation. She can love him without respecting him; it arrives later if all goes well over time.

  3. Femme

    Ok. So what if she only respects him and doesn’t love him?
    Is that enough to endorse him?

    Your Highness Femme,
    I’m unsure endorsed for what. In any event, it’s her judgment call based on his and her character.

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