2725. Sexual Assets Put Women in Charge—or Not! — Aging Does What?

Her Highness Edith Mcklveen in a classy response wondered how the forerunner with the title above [2724] might apply when “hormones are not circulating in youthful quantities?” And, “men at a certain point become more, um, mellow, and women become somewhat less mellow.” In her praiseworthy ladylike phrasing, she calls to mind that in later life the ratio of male to female hormones goes down in men and the reverse happens in women. It results in older women becoming the more sexually interested and perhaps eager of the two.

As they age, both sexes have a tougher time living with themselves as their respective sex drives morph hormonally in a direction opposite of earlier in life. Men can sense it but women don’t see it coming, I suspect, soon enough to coach their middle-age man to find new and exciting ways to caress and stimulate her to intimacy and frequent satisfaction. That is, prepare in middle age for ever-mellowing years.

As to how 2724 applies in the mellower years, the following effects may develop as aging progresses.

  1. “Their first sex together transforms a man.” In mellower times, however, the effects are amended by the softening nature of older men. A man’s mid-life crisis can work wonders for his mate, or not! He most likely will be different in many ways, not all of which will please her.
  2. The awkward results of one-night stands become less common as men face a different life especially after the mid-life crisis. More mature times call for leaving a less awkward trail behind.
  3. The process to get an older man to bond is not to focus on pleasing him but playing a mellower game of hard-to-get into the bedroom and thereby energizing him to please her more and better. (Men are little boys, and in the growing up process they are little men. They insist to themselves to capture what they are denied.)
  4. If he won’t pay her price—that is, fulfill her expectations—before they merge first time, he won’t pay much toward her future solace. If he won’t satisfy himself by satisfying her before first sex together, he won’t likely satisfy her after that, which means he’s not fully able to keep satisfied with himself. (A man’s primary mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is and what he does, a woman or mate notwithstanding.)
  5. Contrary to woman-think, her sexual asset value doesn’t decline among men her age. It does decline, however, as a woman allows her feminine appearance to deteriorate or be ignored.
  6. A man’s confidence subsides from the relentless decay of his ability to sexually perform to his satisfaction. The urge remains, but shame or lack of courage can emerge to purge interest.
  7. Motivated to energize a new relationship, women lower their price for touch, feel, fondle, and ultimate prize. But too much and a man gets what he wants for so little a price that his respect for her does not arise.
  8. No change comes with age in a man’s desire to conquer. Each attractive woman energizes his thoughts, but his courage wilts if he expects to embarrass himself.
  9. Female standards to delay conquest work as it does in earlier life. (It’s anecdotal, but I know two sixty-some ladies who traveled extensively with boyfriends while insisting and using separate motel rooms until they married. One insisted her man switch religious denomination. The other insisted her man be saved and my wife Grace led him to the Lord. Both ladies conquered their man. One marriage lasted nine years until husband died, and the other continues today and almost twice that long.)
  10. If anticipating sex with a specific woman won’t keep him satisfied with himself, he will tend to avoid her.
  11. Conquest for the man doesn’t invoke the four consequences shown in 2724. Aging softens them all. It doesn’t mean older women won’t be dumped after conquest. Players may or may not change their tactics even with mid-life crisis.
  12. I think the most impressive lesson to be learned from applying 2724 to mellower times is this. The higher the price a man pays investing himself in her, the more reliable he will be as suitor and mate. (Men are hunter-conquering competitors who satisfy themselves with what they earn. So, they don’t appreciate unearned gifts.)

Finally, women should look out for this. The more direct and stronger a man claims his love will be her deliverance, the more likely he’s scheduling her for the caregiver role later.

The foregoing reminds of some more about aging and will appear next at 2726.



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

6 responses to “2725. Sexual Assets Put Women in Charge—or Not! — Aging Does What?

  1. Everything you say makes such sense and, in an ideal situation, is sure to guarantee a comfortable, compatible, often fun life together.

    I am pretty sure everyone (family, friends, neighbors, fellow church members, pastor, potential partners) understands clearly I am absolutely hard to get. No intimate relationship that does not start with a wedding and end with someone’s funeral.

    And everyone understands my gifts and graces and my dedication to making life a celebration of life and humor and beauty. They know that God did not create me to be a cheap bottle of malt liquor from the convenience store but a thousand-dollar magnum of champagne from the cellar of an exclusive vineyard.

    I should be hip deep in widowers, reformed players, divorced men who have found a way to see a failure that is not their fault as . . . a failure that is not their fault. I should be the center of attention. People at church should be shocked at the number of older, attractive, available men lined up in the pews behind me.

    A few weeks ago, I found a dating website for Christians I had not seen before. I got a ten-day free trial. I put up my most attractive photos. I briefly and neutrally stated my values, background, education, and interests.

    I figured people will see what a class act I am, and I won’t have to do anything. The smart guys would immediately get it and respond, right?

    In the ten days I was on the website, one man fifteen years my junior, living in the Philippines but not Filipino, looked at my profile. One.

    I found a profile for one man who shared my spiritual beliefs and interests and was close to my age. I sent him an e-mail that basically said, “Hello, I see we have some things in common.”

    Am I finally connected with someone who sees that there is treasure to be found in the golden years? Mmm, no.

    It’s interesting to me that men who were “matches” educationally and intellectually all came across with an attitude that said I’m a Christian with high standards, and I’m busy doing stuff for God. I don’t have time to screw around with any woman who is not as dedicated, hard-working, serious, and knowledgeable about the Bible as I am. If you can’t accept that, then don’t bother.

    Wow. Given the feminist damage to our culture since my adolescence, that obviously defensive posture among my male peers is totally understandable, especially if they are Christian men with good, solid values. But wow.

    Miss Gina has said that life has rendered some men unmarriageable. Apparently it’s worse that she thinks.

    There is not enough admiration and respect and indirection in the world to counter that. Yet that is what I keep finding. Jesus needs to come soon and put us all out of our misery.

  2. Sparkles

    Point nine resonated with me, specifically this: “One insisted her man switch religious denomination.”

    Boyfriend believes in God but according to my mom, it’s not good enough for me therefore she would not advise I marry him. While I want him to eventually be converted over to my denomination, I think he is my Mr Good Enough. I realize I don’t want to upset my mom and risk her not attending my wedding out of spite but I also don’t want to upset my boyfriend. I want him to convert by his own will and not because I dangled myself on a stick. However can I really insist he switch religious denomination especially since he has not conquered me yet? If so, how?

    Your Highness Sparkles,

    You have a tough dilemma and I have no answer, just things to consider.

    • The lady who got her man to change denomination was in her late sixties, and she was more than willing to remain widowed. You ain’t there yet, so ignore that point as usable by you.

    • You ignore mom at your peril. She can read things you can’t, but you would probably see her objections as red flags were you not so enchanted or determined to be married.

    • “I want him to convert by his own will and not because I dangled myself on a stick.” That is the only way it works. Question: Can you be the good enough example that he will want to follow you? And never mention it to him. It takes that for him to figure out he should do it and provide you with what you hope to see.
    You should allow a decade or two for him to satisfy himself that living your denominational way is preferable to his way of life.

    • If your primary goal is to be married, you are dancing on a sharp knife. It is so alluring that you have already and may further ignore red flags.

    So, I advise you make out that priority list I mentioned earlier. Your future is much more than being married. Here’s task list for success in marriage.

    • He will be responsible to make the marriage go according to his expectations. Do you know enough of what he expects? His reasons and continuing demand for Vegas tells me it’s more important to him than you are.

    • You will inherit the burden to keep him satisfied with who you are and what you do as bride, friend, wife, partner, and lovee. Does he like (not love) you enough and does he see you as totally loyal to him? Or has he made no mention of it, which might be a red flag in itself?

    • You will inherit the burden to keep him satisfied living with you. Know what he expects?

    Keep him satisfied in those arenas, and he likely will be satisfied with himself for marrying you. That’s what it takes. If he doesn’t remain satisfied with himself for the first twenty or so years, he may just leave you. Even after two decades, it’s no guarantee.

    Best of luck with your dilemma,


  3. I am recently the proud owner of a good enough boyfriend. He is kind, gracious, generous, honest, a diligent worker, sensitive and for the most part I do think he is a fine person in terms of his desire and efforts to ‘reach higher’.

    i do desire for communication to be better especially because i travel a bit in my line of work. I don’t sense much creativity on his part to make up for the distance and the different time zones. That being said, he is inherently very good at communication and it is my observation that he accepts the separation and reads it as temporary therefore not worth too much of his attention. I find this frustrating because I really do appreciate frequent and sincere communication.

    It seems to me though that success in a relationship is based almost entirely on not wanting it much..on separating oneself from your true hopes and dreams for fear of coming across as needy.. Is there a solution because this seems quite absurd to me

    Your Highness Prettybeans,

    Is this the same guy as before?

    As a female, you understand yourself the best. Yes, “separating oneself … for fear of coming across as needy” is right on and not smart now. Women change to get what they want but not to get what they have.

    You don’t have him yet, so back off a little. Work on the future more than the here and now.

    As for him, he’s different, lacks your ability to grasp how you feel, has little or no interest in continual communicating, and is pretty much the opposite of you. Men don’t change to get what they want, but change they will to keep what they have. Keep trying, darling.


  4. Cocoa

    Dear sir Guy, can you elaborate on this a bit more please?
    “The more direct and stronger a man claims his love will be her deliverance, the more likely he’s scheduling her for the caregiver role later.”

    Also, at what age does the man start to get mellower? Is that late fifties? I assume mid to late forties they are still quite competitive and hard headed/hearted?

    Thank you.

    Your Highness Cocoa,

    He’s trying to talk his way into her heart by letting her convince herself that he can fulfill her dreams. He’s insincere, dishonest, or desperate. Major red flag.

    Mellower? It varies with the man, but mid-life crisis jumpstarts it if not before. Actually, a man’s mellowness is inspired more by the quality of his woman than the man’s age.


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