Her Highness Edith Mcklveen describes very well how some men act immaturely, disrespectfully, embittered, or disdainful of themselves. They don’t make good dates or mates, and it relates to the concerns of many women.
I’ve done some more reflection on men who state what they want in a woman in such a way that they frighten away the potential relationship they say they want.
WWNH makes clear that, outside of sex, men are attracted to women they see as affirming their sense of self-worth and enhancing their status in the eyes of others.
And, as WWNH points out, under normal circumstances, that’s not too difficult for women to do. Men are pretty cut-to-the-chase.
As I currently see it, hero worship and food go a long way. A man will make it easy for a woman to give him adulation and potato salad. (She must make him work for it, or he will happily allow her to praise him and feed him and never say thanks . . . because of course attention is supposed to be her natural and proper response.)
There are men who make it hard for women to approach with admiration and food and other forms of attention. They are demanding and critical and have impossible expectations. They act like women in the ways they make intimacy extremely difficult.
These are disappointed and damaged men who, for whatever reasons, have not been able to bounce back with the usual male resiliency. They are angry and bitter and mistrustful, and in trying to hide these troubling and crippling feelings and appear normal and in control and cool, they end up making life more complicated than even a woman can.
The sad thing for me is that apparently a lot of these men are Christians. They are people who claim to believe in forgiveness and second chances and God’s goodness even in the midst of hardships. And yet they can’t shake off resentment, bitterness, even fear.
Years ago, I fell in love with such a man. I thought that if I could just be sensitive enough and show him I understood him more than anyone else, he would relax, unbend, forget the past, and be happy and grateful to me for my understanding.
Not at all.
Such men are to be pitied and avoided. Not hated or nagged. They should be treated, as all human beings should, with respect. After all, they’ve been through and survived their share of crap. But otherwise, they need to be left strictly alone.