Your Highness Back to Basics,
I continue my response to your comment at 2728. I explain the male nature that causes so much roughness for women dealing with men. I believe the knowledge imparted below can relieve a lot of angst that leads to female unhappiness. It’s more complex than your view of how women think. It may or may not be of personal interest.
Your intriguing statements include this bolded sentence. The context is complaint. “And believing your man thought other females marvelous attractions… while he enjoyed you mostly for your personality….” That is, men are no darn good because they enjoy looking at other women and not appreciating the attractiveness they have at home. I address it in two sections: “marvelous attractions” here.
Men enjoy the marvels of female attractions because they have two sex drives. Their primary drive is the lifelong urge to have first-time sex with attractive women that permit it, aka conquest, and often referred to as spreading their seed.
From time immemorial women have complained about that natural urge. Modern women blame and complain about it, but either God or Nature did it. OTOH, and modern women seem to ignore this, God or Nature empowered women to conquer that male drive. Many women over the centuries mastered the art, and old school American women standardized the practice.
Highly different from males at birth, females are blessed with the relationship expertise required to civilize and tame men such that they devote themselves to one woman. It’s a skill set that requires knowledge of both the female and male natures and more than a little practice. Men lack that expertise, and so relationship building and management—more indirect than direct, more patient than impulsive, more sacrifice than selfish—devolves to women or it doesn’t go well or last very long.
Women should practice endlessly on all men with the male nature in mind. He has: need for a place to flop, throw his things, get some R&R, and prepare to face tomorrow’s competitors; drive to shape results by competing against men and Mother Nature and keeping himself satisfied with his accomplishments; want of freedom to do as he chooses and especially make himself stand out among others as successful competitor, as a person of significance; fear of insignificance; ability to give of himself to those who help keep himself satisfied with who he is and what he does; two sex drives as described above and below this point; and belief that he’s handy. Women differ on all counts (Part B, post 2736)
A man’s secondary sex drive is to satisfy himself with frequent and convenient sex. Two separate drives and both keep a man’s focus on beauty and sex; attractiveness and sex are inseparable to the male mind.
However, after a couple’s first sex together, her beauty plays a different role in their relationship. Sex does not bond a man and with attractiveness attached, she appears to lose value from less notice. It’s not her; it’s his nature.
Unconquered attractive women have a larger magnetic effect in male eyeballs, which makes a man’s loyalty reasonably easy to shift from one to another. A woman’s likeability and virtues—feminine qualities a man admires—are needed to keep a conqueror or husband from disappearing after a one-night stand, some dating, or even years of marriage.
If he’s unsatisfied with himself being with her, she’s temporary and perhaps dumped without notice. It burdens women to use their relationship expertise to help their man find satisfaction with himself by associating exclusively with her.
Women are born with ability to make themselves more magnetic to a man, to compensate and overcome male uniqueness with inborn and uniquely feminine expertise for generating successful relationships. The female nature is very capable of discouraging a man from exploiting his conquering hopes and dreams. It requires that females make their own sex drive useful and influential first, enjoyable and pleasurable later. (Women interested in exploiting their relationship expertise may find guidance in the Virtual Virginity series listed in the CONTENTS page.)
There is another side of male nature that leads women to wrongful conclusions. Unlike women, men are hunter-conquerors. Critical to well-being, their peripheral vision catches motion to assess it as prey or threat. It’s an unconscious reaction normal to the male nature. Although sexual ability declines with age, the primal urge to conquer doesn’t. A man glances at what’s passing most of his life. (Just a glance is not a red flag. If he stares at a retreating female body in her presence, it’s a minor problem and her accusations shift it to major.)
Yes, men are attracted to other women and always will be. With her free will, each woman has the ability to accept it as natural and compensate in other ways. Specifically, find self-gratitude in keeping herself attractive anyway, make her man grateful to have her, and help keep him pleased with himself. It’s the smothering blanket for a good relationship.
Sex and her attractiveness play minor roles in making this arrangement permanent. After they marry, he’s responsible for the marriage and present-day happenings. She governs their relationship and future expectations. But that’s another story for another time and place.