Blog 2757 — Essentials of Successful Marriage — 08 Avoid Loss of Likeability


I remain indisposed for daily postings. However, I found some easy reading to consider while I get shipshape once again.

Love isn’t enough. The absence of little things enable marital glue to work. Consequently, I offer the following to dwell on until I can return.

http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

I argue it again, although I don’t sense a lot of support. Keeping a man alongside her is much more a function of their mutual likeability than mutual love. Why? Because her love of him does not satisfy him directly nearly as much as her satisfying presence in his life.

16 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

16 responses to “Blog 2757 — Essentials of Successful Marriage — 08 Avoid Loss of Likeability

  1. Iwannahear

    Thank God you are feeling better. Thank you for all you do for us.

  2. Mary Wumths

    Thanks for your post and continued prayers for your health Sir Guy ❤️

  3. Miss Gina

    I agree, Sir Guy. Once a good man has decided he wants you for life, he continues to want you unless you drive him away–whether inadvertently or not. Best wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery. 🙂

  4. sg

    Very spot on article. Thank you for sharing! Praying for your continued healing 💗🙏

    Your Highness Sg,
    Welcome aboard! I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.
    Guy

  5. sharon p

    thank you Sir Guy,i so happy your feeling better xoxo

  6. ladyvigilant

    Heavenly prayers upon you for healing, protection against all accidents, diseases, spiritual and physical attacks or depression. God’s Speed Sir Guy!

  7. Briar Rose

    Happy to hear you’re on the road to recovery!

    What’s a gal to do when the roles in the story are reversed? (I can commiserate with the husband)

    Thank you

  8. back to basics

    If that is the difference between likeability and love, I absolutely see now likeability winning. 🙂

  9. Glad you are getting better. Get well. Love you

  10. Sharon

    To truly be friends in a marriage, likeability is crucial and contributes to the depth and endurance of a marriage. “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Nagging is the opposite of building or being likeable! May God bring continued healing and renewed strength to you, Sir Guy.

  11. Lex

    Sir Guy,

    Hope you are recovering. Thank you for this link. I eagerly await your continued blog posts. I am new to your site and struggle to find practical applications to your wisdom in my marriage. Speedy recovery!

    Your Highness Lex,

    Welcome aboard! I love it when pretty women join us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    Until I can write again, you may find something of interest in the CONTENT page at top of Home.

    Guy

  12. Mary Wumths

    Continued prayers for your healing Sir Guy!

  13. Mary Wumths

    I have learned much from this site. Basic truths about men that are not immediately evident to women. Some of it makes me sad that men are inherently selfish, always seeking a new conquest, and not easily given to religious morality. That women must continually make themselves pretty to keep a shallow man around who in his heart continually lusts after others and his own self interests. However this site gives us knowledge how to keep a man around. I am about 6 months into a marriage and not sure if all this work and self discipline is worth it. We shall see. Anyway, thank you Sir Guy for this wise website. I hope your health returns and that you are able to continue sharing your insights to the pretty women on wwnh

    Your Highness Mary Wumths,

    You say, “I am about 6 months into a marriage and not sure if all this work and self discipline is worth it. We shall see.”

    Your sadness describing men suggests that you’re on an unpaved marital road. If you continue viewing men that way, it could later be used to include hubby and justify separation or worse. The more you find fault with men, the easier to find it in your husband. The easier to find fault, the harder to overlook shortcomings.

    The self-fulfilling prophecy works in background to produce what you want and don’t want. You describe men to have certain traits, and your subconscious mind works to later make your husband vulnerable to such guilt or blame by association. It’s not you so much as how our minds work to deliver what we think about and deliver results that may or not be good or bad, desired or undesired.

    Also, you miss the boat two ways. It’s slight and delicate now, but over time it can magnify. 1) I think you have it wrong about men, see below. 2) You disregard the potential and influence of the superior gender. The effects that can be produced by a good woman determined to bless her man with a good marriage shaped by her natural strengths of strong-willed character, patience, indirectness, and ability to brighten their future together.

    Moreover, those things you cite are not how men are born. It’s how women accuse wrongly. Specifically, quoting from your comment:

    • “men are inherently selfish” — No more so than women. Both sexes are born self-centered and possessing self-interest. Before first grade they learn right and wrong and how to be both selfish and unselfish. Selfishness is a characteristic learned or discarded during self-development in association with other children and parents. In adulthood selfish behavior is too obvious and leads to disadvantages.

    • “always seeking a new conquest”— Men are born to spread their seed, but mothers and other females teach them to refrain from seeking to conquer others out of respect for those with whom they claim allegiance. IOW, men learn its to their advantage to sacrifice their natural drive in order to honor a specific woman or women. It kills the emphasis to actively seek others.

    • “and not easily given to religious morality” — True but women drive both busses. Morality and religion enable and guide women to capture and keep the significant advantages available while living in close harmony with the opposite sex. Without living up to someone or something bigger than the individual, male dominance usually prevails as rule setter and female put-down.

    • “That women must continually make themselves pretty to keep a shallow man around who in his heart continually lusts after others and his own self interests.” — Everybody lusts and everybody pursues their self-interest; those are laws of nature. It’s the lusting after others that disturbs women, which suggests that sex appeal and similar female practices encourages men to keep the opposite sex disturbed. Women get what they don’t want by giving men what they do want.

    God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the superior gender with what females need to persuade, coach, and energize boys and men to convert their shortcomings into what turn out to be marital blessings. Women are in charge, because men don’t know how to produce it, or even why women want such blessings.

    Mary, you have good wishes for my describing how men and women differ at birth, and I thank you.

    Guy

  14. Lex

    What are some ways a wife can deal with certain annoying habits a husband does while still being respectful and avoiding loss of likeability?

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