2776. Well-liked Article (#7 posted in 2007)


Testosterone hardens a male’s head and heart for survival early in life. A good woman can soften his hard-headedness after many years as a couple. Testosterone fades in old age and also softens his heart.

Feminist theory, propaganda, and pressures try to soften his head and heart before Nature allows, and so men rebel and women pay the price.

When men don’t highly value integrity in others, they likely lack it themselves. This makes vow-keeping much more difficult for such men.

Men have little natural interest in making things safer, until they foresee or face endangerment. They also have little interest in family compatibility, except as it first makes their job more significant as producer, provider, protector, problem-solver.

No one talks about friend with benefits (FWB) anymore, so it must now be well-practiced behavior. Think men don’t like that freebie?

For a man to respect a woman, marriage is the only legitimate reason for her to have had sex with another man. The new FWB practice puts participating young women out of bounds for winning a man’s enduring love. He’s cuckolded by her every male friend, whether she actually did it or not.

Modern women avoid femininity, provide pre-marital sex, act like guys, smother their man with devotion, and try to appear ordinary. Men marry them, but they don’t stay married. Men don’t marry guys or faux guys, but they stay with the woman they consider extraordinary female and like his bride.

A man stays with a woman when she fulfills the image and expectations he held before they married. If she changes, as most women do, her surprises register tolerably, undesirably, unpleasantly, irritatingly, or worse.

To a man, his woman’s constructive criticism is still nagging.

A man’s devotion dies, when he’s not appreciated in an upbeat fashion for who he is and what he does.

If shack up or marry up is not the man’s idea, then he will not long honor whatever relationship arrangement they enter. Theirs will be temporary, if she talks him into any kind of relationship.

Feminine mystique attracts men and holds their interest. An air of secrecy and generally being hard to get draws men into a woman’s aura of charm. It keeps her in charge and puts men on the defensive. It’s the opposite of her chasing him, and it forces each man to prove his worth to her.

When he perceives charming but strong resistance to his first priority, sexual conquest, it pushes him deeper into the role of seller, which proportionally reinforces her as the buyer.

Female modesty tames males. It’s a woman’s greatest counterbalance to male domination. Modesty keeps men at a distance as she declares it her territory, and it empowers a woman to avoid and prevent embarrassment. It keeps men on the defensive about female sensibilities, which weakens male domination.

The foundation of a man’s love is respect for a woman. Romantic love, mostly based on infatuation and lust, does not require a man’s respect. Plus, romantic love fades after a year or two. Enduring love, if it’s to replace the romantic kind and not also fade away, requires his respect that she earned early and continues to maintain.

Feminine adherence to moral standards helps earn masculine respect. Moral standards serve women and children predominantly but only when women promote and push morality such that it suppresses and effectively ‘outlaws’ extreme male domination and aggression and violence.

Female-designed customs and manners calm men. By women insisting on and upholding social and domestic standards, men learn they must please women to enjoy feminine endorsement and perhaps their company.

Hard-headed feminine gentleness beguiles males. It adds to both her mystique and influence. Far removed from a weakness, gentleness strengthens her self-respect, which many admire as a virtue, and which earns a man’s respect.

Respect to, gratefulness for, and dedication pledged to and kept with one man inspires masculine fidelity, but it doesn’t guarantee it. As hunter-conquerors, men can be tamed, civilized, domesticated and acclimated to monogamy when women lead by example. Of course it’s not fair, but men have little interest partnering with only one woman—unless women sell them on the idea and reward them for both husbanding and fathering.

Virginity is under valued by modern women. Women desire men that know how to satisfy them sexually. With her, experience counts. Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s beating out all those other guys. So, it’s not virginity so much to men as it is her sexual inexperience by which he can measure his competitive prowess.

Men expect this first in a relationship: a cooperative and helpful rather than a competitive and offending spirit. Next, they expect respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. The former invites him to partner, the latter holds him as mate.

Modest and celebratory apparel crowns pregnant women as heroes to men. T-shirt wearing, beer-belly pregnant women destroy their attractiveness. They send a loud message that they don’t give a damn whether others admire them as mother and him as father. In fact, they make their man look like a chump—his woman uglifies what he sees as wonderful prospect for the future.

She offers her honor. He honors her offer. Men thrive on her and off her.

12 Comments

Filed under boobs, courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, marriage, sex differences

12 responses to “2776. Well-liked Article (#7 posted in 2007)

  1. CartieB

    Hi Sir Guy,

    Hope you’re doing well. I have a question for you to answer, at your convenience! If a woman makes it a point to indirectly force her guy to be the seller in the relationship, what are your thoughts of a guy jokingly saying “I don’t know why you want to marry me. I am not responsible.” He then offers a really trivial example of how irresponsible he is at times. It’s not the example of his lack of responsibility I find alarming, just that joke. Why did he say it? Should I be running for the hills? I know there are times to watch what a guy does over what he says but there are also times to believe what he says and bow out gracefully from a relationship. Thank you!

    Your Highness CartieB,

    “Why did he say it?”

    To relieve the pressure he sensed you had applied. You’re competing and he had no better answer at the moment.

    Guy

    • CartieB

      Hmmm I don’t completely understand your answer. There was nothing I said to prompt a conversation about marriage. If anything he was telling me about his responsibilities at work before he made the joke.

      Nevertheless, is there anything I can do to relieve pressure I unintentionally applied? I’m not really sure how I’m competing with him but I would like to stop. Thank you!

      #stillconfused

      Your Highness CartieB,
      My response stands. You mentioned marriage first. You’re competing anytime you’re seeking info. You are also competing with him except when you stand down and let him has his way, e.g., initiating.
      Guy

  2. madoucechemeche

    “Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s beating out all those other guys. So, it’s not virginity so much to men as it is her sexual inexperience by which he can measure his competitive prowess.”

    How to show “sexual inexperience” so he can feel his competitive prowess ?

    Is it still possible if he knows you have known other men ?

    Your Highness Madouchechemeche,

    I love it when another pretty girl joins us on this cruise to WhatWomenNeverHear.

    If she’s virgin she’s presumed to be inexperienced. First written in 2007, I fear it’s OBE by now, overtaken by events.

    “Is it still possible if he knows you have known other men?” What? Sexual inexperience? How, he that dumb?

    Guy

    • madoucechemeche

      So there is no chance for him to really value someone without virginity ? As when he will find someone virgin he will leave me for her to feel more powerfull ? It will never be complete if you didn’t lost it with him.
      I am very confused with this issue and it makes me loose hope

      Your Highness Madoucechemeche,

      You’re deserve to be confused. Our dialogue has never been aimed at what you seek to know. So, let’s start over.

      “So there is no chance for him to really value someone without virginity?” WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?

      “As when he will find someone virgin he will leave me for her to feel more powerfull?” WHERE DID YOU GET THAT IDEA?

      How about defining in simplest terms just what you are worried about.

      Guy

      • madoucechemeche

        The thing is I lost my virginity only one time and don’t feel complete since that happened I always regreted it and never did it again (and it was nearly 12 years ago).

        I know I sound stupid but I can’t help it.

        When I hear those things I am sure in myself I will never be enough no matter what I do to compensate it. I apply religiously everything in this blog and I love it, I am confident in myself I love myself, I feel beautiful i really studied the “path of victory” and “female blessings at birth” it literally changed my life !!! You really helped me and I thank you for that 🙂

        But these part is stuck in me. I feel when he knows I am not a virgin I can’t make him feel competent the way a virgin can because even if I am not experienced sexually it’s not the same for him and he can’t feel the same way about me. He can never think I am the one since he is not the first, there will always be a stain in his eyes on me.

        I don’t know if am clear or not, don’t hesitate to tell me if you don’t understand what i try to say because english is not my language 🙂

        Your Highness Madoucechemeche,

        For English as second language, you sure know how to express yourself.

        Congratulations on job very well done. Let’s examine your dilemma.

        “I know I sound stupid but I can’t help it.” You don’t sound the least bit stupid, but very intelligent. Other women should be so alert and aware.
        You say, “I am sure in myself I will never be enough no matter what I do to compensate it.” WRONG! You have three ways out:

        1. Act virginal simply by never admitting or discussing your sexual history to anyone including female friends. Make your sexual history a personal story that’s never shared with anyone. Keep it to yourself as way to improve your self-respect each time you stop an inquiry. Your self-gratitude will reinforce your ability to keep it to yourself.

        2. When boyfriend inquires, refuse to disclose anything about sexual history. If he won’t honor your desire for such privacy, he won’t honor other desires you will have later including after marriage.

        3. Study all the articles in CONTENT page that have virgin or virginity in the title. Also, peruse the VIRTUAL VIRGINITY series for tactics to dodge critical inquiry.

        Finally, three personal opinions.

        • You’re overly concerned because you can’t forgive yourself, which you rightly deserve. We all make mistakes, and recovery is everything.

        • If he proposes marriage, no stain will appear in his eyes as you fear. It means you’re more important to him than sex, which is what leads to marital proposal and success.

        • Boyfriend/husband will not know what you fear he will find out. He may act out suspicions, but he can’t be sure. Keep your cool and silence and he will eventually forget it long before you unless you find the way to forgive yourself, which will brighten your future faster than anything else.

        Good luck living with yourself and forgiveness, for that’s what life is all about.

        Guy

        • madoucechemeche

          ok I understand you 🙂

          About the first point, I changed all of my friends that knew about it and I moved in another town so nobody knows except me and my family, so there is no problem about this BUT when he will meet my family they will tell him everything because they are like that, they did it with some of my new friends, I told them to keep it private but they absolutely don’t care, that’s what scares me because I KNOW for sure THEY will tell him so I don’t know what to do about it 😦

          Your Highness Madoucechemeche,

          Shape your future along these lines.

          • Keep your relationship going but keep him away from your family until he proposes.

          • When he proposes, claim you’re not good enough because of one mistake.

          • If he finds you to be disqualified for him, dump him faster than he can dump you. (You’re lucky to find out before you discover his other shortcomings after marriage.)

          • If he finds you to be okay as is, alert him to how the family will talk when he meets them. Help him find these words to use: If that were either your business or my business, we could talk about it. But it’s neither and he walks off. Help him feel proud defending you without claiming any knowledge or even care about what others say or about what you did.

          It’s a tough assignment, and the VIRTUAL VIRGINITY series aims at giving you words that work.

          Guy

  3. malina

    Dear Sir Guy,

    I am in a similar situation than her (I gave myself too easily to him so I understand why he is my ex it’s my fault not his). The thing is : he married my sister !! So if I find someone he will have to actually meet him and he doesn’t think a lot of good about me !
    How to deal with this situation ??!?

    Your Highness Malina,

    “How to deal with this situation ??!?” You overpower it with feminine modesty, mystery, guile, and determination to make things go your way.

    When you yielded, you weakened your self-respect but you didn’t lose it. You can reinforce it with several plans of action.

    1. Forgive yourself! If you can’t, then seek it from God. It’s imperative that you do, so that you can forget it.

    2. Increase the responsibilities—chores, tasks, achievements, studies—you have in life. Set out to accomplish more, many new and diverse things that keep you busy and provide you with satisfaction when done.

    3. Never complain and never explain about any aspect of sex—or your behavior—that people may bring up. Just refuse to talk and depart unobtrusively.

    4. On the subject of sex only, harden a shell around you that prevents anyone so much as mention it the second time in your presence. The first time anyone mentions it, depart the scene silently and stay away from them as long as possible.

    5. Pride yourself that you have a mistake in your background that you’ve already recovered from and which others will never be able to discuss or they lose your interest in them.

    Guy

    • malina

      Thank you Sir Guy, I have another question :
      How to deal with the ex ? He just slept with me and left me one day after because he thought I didn’t worth more. Now thanks to your blog I understand why he did that so it’s not a problem anymore 🙂

      Because since he is with my sister, I completely avoided them as I don’t know how to react, should I be nice to him or do as if I don’t know him or we don’t have a past together ?

      Your Highness Malina,
      Don’t avoid and don’t treat him such that sister finds out or gets suspicious. Treat him as sister’s husband, admired family member, and forget the past as if it never happened.
      Guy

      • malina

        Actually my sister knows everything because he was one of her friends when it happened.

        What will he think if I act as if it never happened ?

        Your Highness Malina,
        Who knows what he will think. But you’re not responsible for what he does with what he thinks. The more he respects you, the less he will disclose about you.
        Guy

        • malina

          Is there a risk he will take it badly and start badmouthing me ?

          Your Highness Malina,
          The risk always exists. Why should he take it badly unless you’re not a very good sister-in-law. Risk is greatest if he learns not to respect you, which is most likely to happen if you don’t respect him.
          Guy

          • malina

            it’s good advice 🙂 I think I will have to annoy you with another question :-))

            How to get rid of the feeling that he will mock the new husband because he thinks i am not worth it ?
            It’s annoying but it’s a feeling I think all girls have when they got dumped by someone, when they meet that person again even if they don’t ever want to be with him again, they will have in mind that he mocks them and their new boyfriend. I mean I have self esteem and everything but it’s a thought we can’t get rid of and it makes us feel bad for the new guy.

            For example, if he buys me flower or something nice, the ex will think he is a fool because he didn’t have to do that hard to get me.

            And something esle : How can I avoid them to be friends so they will not talk about me ? Can I just tell the new boyfriend to not talk to the husband of my sister ? If yes, how to tell him without looking disrespectful or suspicious ?

            Your Highness Malina,
            I’m sorry but they are your feelings about which I can do nothing. You have to work on building respect between you and them. Incidentally, guys don’t do much of what you fear the most. That is, discredit another man’s woman to him.
            Guy

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