2808. Open Marriage: Details

The hidden, direct, and dishonorable purpose of open marriage is for wives to shop for another mate at the expense of the one they suckered into marriage. One they find no longer worth loving exclusively.

Open marriage proves this point: Love is never enough. Women swear by love. They applaud their ability to spread it around and promise their husbands a successful life together. However, lack of respect, loyalty, likeability, or faith about their future ahead are all capable of reducing a woman’s love to not enough for her to work harder to keep her marriage sound.

Instead of fulfilling good intentions as promised, wives act like men and seek escape without risk to present security. They seek open marriage. Wife may be partially motivated to beat husband at what she suspects he’s doing or at least beat him to it.

Open marriage disrupts current marital relations, dislocates benefits for their own children, and discredits the institution of marriage as friend of females. Wives see opportunity outside the home. They plead and negotiate for open marriage to fulfill sexual dreams with other men, domestic ambitions with another man, or both.

Open marriage directly spoils marital sacredness established and supported over centuries of civilized human relations and supported by religious institutions and moral values and standards.

Open marriage by a few women means the death of marriage for all. Easy escape easily perceived can become more popular and preferable to keeping a marriage alive with the hard work of wives. Husbands, traditionally responsible to stay with their wives, will have marital glue dissolved in the beds of other men.

A man’s proposal of marriage makes him responsible for marital success, defined here as they never separate. He can’t be held responsible when other men can screw him out of his woman.

A wife’s obligation dissolves with open marriage. She’s no longer responsible to satisfy husband with himself as husband. He’s also free to seek wives or single women to fulfill his side of open marriage. If he can, that is. He has far bigger problems attracting a woman than she a man, and it’s another stressful inequality. Even the dumbest of husbands should see it as an extra freebie for their wives. Extra freebies cause envy and jealousy, either or both of which eats away at mutual respect, loyalty, likeability, loyalty, and faith in the future together, any of which can overpower a woman’s love.

Many husbands are sexually inexperienced. In bed with women not their own, they perform poorly, embarrassedly, and without the attractions that enable them to win a woman for himself. IOW, even replacing spouse is a far more troublesome business than his wife experiences in the wide open spaces of external relationships. More freebies for her.

An open marriage is perhaps preceded by help from a therapist. One who has no interest in preserving a marriage, but therapists get paid to satisfy two people that are doing the ‘right’ thing for them. IOW, therapists earn their pay by indirectly convincing the recalcitrant spouse that the spouse most interested in open marriage should get his or her way. Wife seeking open marriage is already dead set against continuing as before; she’s tired of husband and seeks redress because he’s dumb or stupid enough to let her ‘experiment’ with other men.

Open marriage is the death of a man’s marital rights. When husband gives away monogamous entitlements, it enables wife to choose to be responsive to him only to the extent she desires. Any submissiveness is killed by just a stiff refusal; she has the whole outside world as option to following husband’s lead. With so many options and potentials other than him, the pressures build on husband to accept wife’s bluffs.

Her respect of husband declines from his unwillingness to protect what is rightfully his, earned at the altar, and promised as her part of their marital bargain. By yielding marital rights, husband’s self-respect fades from being unable to cover all the bases necessary for him to be responsible for marital success.

In the final analysis, open marriage shames the husband’s ego, reduces his interests to marital irrelevance, and replaces the natural dominance of the husband role with dominance by the roles of independent wife and concerned mother. Any equality or harmony as a couple shrinks beneath the constant stress of sour notes, discord, and growing bitterness.



Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

9 responses to “2808. Open Marriage: Details

  1. CartieB


    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on open marriage. Would you elaborate on these points:
    1. “He’s also free to seek wives or single women to fulfill his side of open marriage. If he can, that is. He has far bigger problems attracting a woman than she a man, and it’s another stressful inequality.” Why is that? I find it hard to believe since I’m always hearing about some married guy cheating on his wife. Why would it be different in an open marriage?

    2. “Many husbands are sexually inexperienced. In bed with women not their own, they perform poorly, embarrassedly, and without the attractions that enable them to win a woman for himself.” Wow! Really?! I’m having a hard time believing this.

    I have another question for you unrelated to open marriage. What are your thoughts on traveling with a guy in separate rooms of course but those rooms are under one house? It feels like we’re living together given how close we are when compared to a hotel. By the way, we’re both waiting until marriage to have sex and this will be our first trip together. He’s making plans for engagement and marriage. Thank you!

    Your Highness CartieB,
    Nearby Meow Meow answers you beautifully. I shall more deeply honor your interest with today’s article, 2809.

    P.S. Separate rooms and remaining chaste may enhance your relationship with another form of closeness/togetherness.

    • Meow Meow

      Hi CartieB
      women are naturally pursued by men whether married or not. Even as a married woman I am still constantly “tested” by other men to see if I’ll entertain the thought of an escapade outside marriage. If you are not married yet, you will find this to be true and a part of life after marriage. You will have to think ahead about how you will deal with it/what you will say.

      Men are not naturally AS pursued by women unless they are of considerable looks/social status (money) so husbands find it harder to convince a woman to join him in an extramarital affair than a wife can find a lover, simply for being a woman.

      As to your second comment, most men give their heart and soul to marriage. They must have thought they had a very good reason to devote themselves to one woman. Therefore going outside the marriage vows in an “open ” marriage (that the wife initiated) could bring up feelings of shame, sorrow, confusion etc. leading to poor performance.

      Women have far more sexual power than men in the sense that they are usually the “pursued”….they need to realize it and decide how they want to use it, instead of being naive about it. Otherwise, it can come up as an issue after marriage.

      Your Highness Meow Meow,
      Wow! Beautifully covered. Thank you. I appreciate all of my “labor-saving” beauties.

      • Miss Gina

        I would even suggest that some men are out there “just testing the waters” without intention to cheat at least initially but looking for the ego boost from “what I could have done if I’d wanted to”—marital status notwithstanding.

        Your Highness Miss Gina,
        A very good and, I believe, accurate observation. Not all men have the courage to cheat but it’s from lessons learned in life.

  2. Idk, I’m in an open marriage and I have zero problems attracting women. I make them laugh and treat them like human beings instead of agendas. After the first few you get cockier and it draws them like moths to a flame.😄

    Sir Seanlistman,

    When people live up to someone bigger than themselves, they become better people in the world and among people nearby. You show a strong appetite to live up to more conquests without regard for the cost to wife and women. You can’t be an attractive friend except to others of your ilk, which is not admirable to honorable men and discerning women.

    I allow you to brag here so I can let readers know that women who condone your behavior have little self-respect and little chance of mating up with a good man, defined as one who respects the opposite sex as much or more than his own.

    You may, but honorable people can’t admire you for exploiting dumb women.


    P.S. Girls without agendas dealing with men have turned their lives over to men, just happens it will be the next one.

    • Miss Gina

      Hmmm, treat them like there is no agenda when there in fact is an agenda?

      It may be easy to get sex…but it’s much harder to earn and give respect.

  3. I don’t care whether i have sex with them or not.

    Sir Seanlistman,
    Then why disrespect you wife, marriage, and vows so readily? Are you responsible to anyone else other than yourself?

  4. Sounds to me like you were involved in an open marriage and your wife left you or you were otherwise burned because you whine too much.

    Sir Seanlistman,
    My marriage was first for both and we lasted faithful for 59 years. I admit the temptations were several but I survived intact and had no problems having the same faith in her.

    • Miss Gina

      Dear Sir Seanlistman,

      I know Sir Guy can take care of himself here, but he is probably too humble to really take credit that belongs to him. You and folks like you would do well if you ever managed to scrape together in your lifetime the amount of gumption Sir Guy carries in the tip of his little finger.

      Open marriage is just one example of the coward’s way out of responsibility that you have already admitted to. I wonder what will be unwittingly be exposed next?

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