I’m fascinated about this subject, because I consider it so accurate. But I need feedback from readers to confirm or deny.
Ask a man who loves you if he likes you. I predict his response will be much more sincere than if he’s asked, Do you love me? He may respond something like this.
Sure, I like you, and he may even shift to using the key word out of eagerness to convince you. I love (or like) your eyes and hair. I love (or like) your sexy appearance as you change for bed, I love (or like) how you handle the kids, etc. and on and on.
By asking if he likes you, he’s able to release his sincerity as if you doubted him, perhaps use your favorite word, and even be anxious to convince you that you’re valuable to him. But it’s not your whole self as person or wife. He spotlights the qualities he admires, which means they are virtues to him. The more virtues you accumulate, the stronger his loving attachment because men seek to marry a virtuous woman.
If you begin with questions about his ‘love’, his sincerity hides behind the façade of manly questioning about honesty. If you begin with the term ‘like’, his mind tells his heart it’s okay to expose how he feels. It’s the way the male nature works; if he can be precise and sincere, he can unload his feelings. If he’s expected to love as women love, he doubts himself and can’t be precise or sincere trying to please her with three little words.
Thus, women face this dilemma. Her ears want to hear ‘love’ about her as whole person or wife. However, he likes or admires specific qualities rather than ‘love’ her generally. He’s more accurate that way.
A well-loved woman learns to discriminate and convert his words and actions about her virtues and conclude how worthy she is from what he does. It doesn’t just pop up in her heart convincingly as it does when he claims the shortcut, “Yes, I love you.” But then, when he responds that way, he’s not totally sincere and doesn’t feel good about himself.
With that in mind, successful marriage depends more on how she uncovers his admiration and liking her than on three little words. She expects to hear the words, which she takes as super-meaningful. He wants to deliver his dedication to her in actions that produce, provide, protect, and problem solve on their mutual interest. She wants words but he delivers actions he expects her to interpret as his love of her.
That’s my conclusion about how the male and female nature interact naturally. But I need feedback from readers to confirm or deny. I ask readers to give it a test drive. See what happens if you ask ‘do you like me?’ Do you get a more exciting answer out of him?