Category Archives: boobs

2855. Sex for Pleasure and Marriage are Mutually Exclusive


Women are giving up on men, because they don’t understand the male nature about sex. Her Highness Elena, gave me an opportunity to summarize why females are so frustrated.

Females learn this the hard way if at all. Sex for pleasure, aka the man’s game, is mutually exclusive with successful married life, aka the woman’s game. Why? Because wives can’t keep husbands home, cheaters are not trustworthy in other matters, and marriages fall apart from lack of mutual likeability.

Elena expressed her frustration this way, “…everything with men is about sex! Everyday I can feel in my heart and head less and less attraction to men knowing all I know now (and I am 22 years old).” You’re right about men, darling, but you’re moving in the wrong direction, and I hope to show you why.

You need to learn more about both sexes and their differences. You are designed and particularly endowed with the skill and talent to find and keep for life your choice of a man. You can find the what, why, and how details described in many different ways throughout this blog. But the angelic essential that makes and holds a couple together comes from the following.

No man is interested, much less motivated, to produce what you expect out of life. Until, that is, you coach, train, teach, motivate, and otherwise convince him you are the best woman for him.

To hold his interest long enough to discover who and what you are and can be in his life, only one thing works. Keep your legs crossed for so long that he discovers not only your virtues, but his respect grows out of your insistence on protecting your sexual assets, and his imagining that all men find you the same.

The longer you refuse to yield, the more of his respect you earn, and a man’s love is founded on respect for a woman. The greater his respect, the more likely he stays with you. The magnetic attractions of female love should be matched by the respect of a man for one woman, or they likely fail as a couple.

Nothing else holds a man’s attention long enough than a female’s refusal to be conquered. Sometimes, however, a man quits chasing early, which in itself is a sign that he was after sex more than her, which means he already had her aimed for dumping soon after their first sex together.

We are put on earth to live as couples. Only women can produce success living together, and your most critical efforts take place before marriage. Marriage isn’t the man’s game, until you teach one man that your way is the best way for both.

After marriage, women are expected to balance the books. You have to acknowledge that he earned frequent and convenient access and is entitled to marital sex at his bidding. He earned it by letting you have your way before marriage.

A personal story. Grace and I were broke for the first 25 of our 59 years. I finally gained control of our spending, and we were never broke after that.

It’s much the same with women. Control your sexual assets such that men are unable to conquer you for first sex together, and you will not be without men chasing you. Admittedly today, men may not chase very long, but it misleads women. If you’re attractive enough in all situations and refuse to yield, you will be chased. Men can’t stand to pass up an opportunity to conquer what appeals to their eyes; it’s up to you to dissuade them from immediate access to your sexual assets.

Except for convenience, men don’t chase women with whom they’ve had sex, only the gals who refuse it the first time. And men more earnestly chase the ones who made other men fail at conquest. Every man competes to beat out buds and other men, and conquest is the most eagerly sought way of earning bragging rights. It’s the male nature at work.

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2854. Men Marry a Virtuous Woman


Quoted from post 2847, “The more unique qualities you display, the harder a guy seeks to get you in bed, because the accumulation of your virtues make you more worthy and unique in his eyes.” Her Highness Miss Green inquired about details.

Unfortunately, you gals don’t get to make your own virtues. You only get to shape the opinion of men that you are what each man wants to marry, a virtuous woman, which is each man’s collective measure of whatever he expects out of his mate. IOW, men don’t need marriage until one woman convinces one man indirectly that he can’t live without her. Thus, men shop around for the accumulation of virtues that mean enough to him, and which meet minimum requirement for him to marry.

By definition, a virtue is a quality of yours that one man admires. Who knows what it is? Until one man makes the call for himself, that is, and probably doesn’t reveal it. It’s part of your collection of qualities that make you stand out as different and, hence, particularly attractive to him. Your virtues roll up into your likeability, which unfortunately for female-think falls far short of love as females wish it.

You have virtues that he doesn’t see all that clearly in others. Virtues make you different from other gals; they are how his eyes see and his judgments make you more worthy of attention and desire to bed you first time. Thus, God and Nature puts you in competition with other gals, whether you like it or not.

Your outer features he may admire such as hair, eyes, mouth, facial expressions, figure, legs, classy dresser, personality that appeals to him, or whatever. Men judge women with their eyes first, and your attractiveness is vital. Dress comfortably and a man sees little or nothing to admire. Dress to the nines and you hold his attention while he scans for virtues.

Over time, he comes to admire your inner qualities such as character strong enough to stand up for yourself, ability to earn his respect, smiling countenance, personal likeability, friendly manner, willingness to listen to him, willingness to trust him, silence about who and what you are, use of modesty to protect yourself, unwillingness to give away your most valuable sexual assets, ability to love without giving away the store, ability to use vanity inoffensively to make yourself look better than others expect, potential to be a wife/mother/friend, virginity or nearness to it, and many other qualities worthy of his admiration.

Closing the gap to marriage is far more than just a man’s appreciation of your virtues. But that’s another story for another time.

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2853. Good Reading for Women


The author of the main site below describes what modern women should do to improve their lives with self and men. I read all three and they are both poignant and clear. She mostly tells women how to handle themselves better dealing with men, while my blog focuses on the natural background of why women should do it. Using both of us, women help themselves fulfill their hopes and dreams, provided, that is, they are willing to become a better person/woman/gf/wife/mother.

All three articles are at the same website, but the following impressed me so much. (I think each requires Ctrl-click.)

Guy

 

http://damesthatknow.com/2018/01/30/a-tough-love-letter-to-my-19-year-old-self/

 

http://damesthatknow.com/2016/03/30/they-want-you-when-they-cant-have-you/

 

http://damesthatknow.com/2016/09/06/21-complaints-millennial-women-have-about-men-relationships/

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2818. Well-liked Article (#82 updated from January 2008)


Theme: HardToGet Pays Off

Modern women bypass playing hardtoget. It works to stimulate and hold attention of the opposite sex, but women so corrupted the art that men stole it.

Our foremothers’ strategy forced men to devote time and effort just getting to know them. A man had to work to figure out what made her tick. It posed challenges instead of giveaways. Conquest took the back seat in his mind, because hardtoget forced it there.

It enabled her to dominate the pre-dating and dating phases. Her lack of eagerness made him eager, when she played it right. In the process he uncovered her attributes of value to him.

Hardtoget means to use disinterest and indirectly dominate any situation with a male of interest. One should keep plans and schedules personal. Show none and even hide eagerness. Don’t explain, don’t complain, don’t reveal intentions, don’t alibi, don’t offer excuses or reasons for doing or not doing something. She states flatly when and what she will and won’t do. Never why, never eager for his presence, and never without his putting forth considerable effort.

The strategy works, because people do not appreciate what they are given for little or no reason. But what they earn, they appreciate. Especially true of men.

Hardtoget challenges a man to pursue a gal and to explore what she is really like. Or else, it provides evidence that he’s not all that interested in her. The earlier she knows that, the better off she is.

The hard truth: Men now exploit this superior tactic, call it ‘vague and unavailable’, and women fall prey to the ingenuity of their own gender.

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2806. Response to a Malcontent


The previous post, 2805, lists 20 mismanagement tendencies that cause marital breakups. To it, Godsgrace55 responds this way:

“All 20 of those behaviors also apply to men. But men think they don’t have to address their own behaviors. That is why you notice so many middle age and senior women without a wedding ring. Those women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

I respond as follows.

——

Dear Godsgrace55, you still don’t get it.

  1. Blaming men costs women whatever advantage they wish they had among men. (Blame may be well deserved, but it works contrary to what women intend.)
  2. Neither sex lives alone without the presence of the other in their lives. At the cultural level aimed at brightening the females’ future, women lead and men follow. At the societal level aimed at the present, men lead and women follow. It’s a swap-meet at which women have first choice for generating success for females, if they but focus on the future instead of getting their way in the present.
  3. In general and indirectly but not in particular and directly, women act and men react in response to the cultural values, standards, and expectations, and men drive society along those lines.
  4. This blog is What Women Never Hear, not what men never hear. Men don’t listen to men about how to handle or deal with women. If women don’t exemplify what they expect out of men, then men follow their competitive and often combative nature that women resent so easily.
  5. The sexes are born such that each individual seeks to get his or her way associating with others. It makes competition the most universal motivator. Except for sex before conquest, men have little or no use of women who compete with them. When women get their way all the time according to female expectations, men lose interest in providing/protecting, raising children, and staying with one woman.
  6. Women gain the superior edge in society by using morality, religion, pre-conquest sex, and marriage to tame and harness men to female expectations without emasculating them.
  7. Women do what’s right based on what they believe. Men do what’s right based on what they figure out will satisfy them the best. Blame cancels masculine interest for believing that women could be more right than he.
  8. When the dominant gender becomes mesmerized by feminine ability, aptitude, and astuteness, dominance dissolves beneath an canopy of female superiority.
  9. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….

Your last sentence is one-sided and exclusively blames men: “Those [middle age and senior without wedding ring] women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

To which I make it two-sided by inserting and bolding the blanks. “Those women get fed up because they can’t get husbands to change to meet wifely expectations, initiate divorce in order to save face and more realistically discredit him, and live a better quality of life by demeaning him, by calling single life high quality to cover her disappointment or embarrassment, and to hide her disenchantment of life without her man.”

Summarized, modern women continue to lose the ability to get what they want out of men. Blame, demand, and political pressure get results, but not what women wish they had from about middle age onward.

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Blog 2802. Women Cause Porn to Grow


Big Picture. We are in midst of a growing trend of women less able to find, capture, and keep a man. The epidemic grows. Hotties fade into has-beens. Crazies become the new standard. Wives join the crowd outside the home either as dumpees or fattened-up copycats with husbands too porn-habituated to leave their wives. The porn industry and lesbian and gay communities grow as the result.

Little Picture. I cut the subject short.

  • Unable to keep a man, wives and gals are either turning or remaining single and alone for life. Pleading equality or other alibi disrespectful of men, women overeat much as men do and expect their future together to remain as they matched up when women were more trim. It’s a complex picture of causes and effects that women ignore at their misery.
  • Their sex drives differ. Men are sexually motivated by their imagination. Promise lures them. Curiosity energizes them. Imagination motivates them to get moving. Touching and fondling spurs arousal. With intercourse a man seeks to establish dominance and confirm his ability. He seeks to satisfy himself either as conqueror or partner. That’s his sex act, his nature in action.
  • Husbands continue through life expecting to live with the same gal they vowed to live with forever. Each satisfies himself that his choice has most of what he expects. That is, attractiveness to his eyes, mutual excitement from his touch, pleasing voice, pleasant scent, great kisses, and all wrapped into the trim sheath of a supportive partner who makes him feel good about himself. (Trim, as opposed to thin, in that some fat may be present when he proposes. It’s the future expansion of her body, if nothing else upstages it, that breaks the connection with husband.)
  • Her sex drive does not depend on how he looks or feels. It operates in response to how he treats and handles her. Consquently, husbands grow fat after marriage without the effect that she produces with her excess fat, and wives plead for equality to alibi for overeating. OTOH, his sex drive is energized by how she looks and feels; his imagination is the all-powerful motivator behind her appeal and his interest and drive.
  • A causal connection exists between excess fat on the female body and men retreating to porn for sexual stimulation. Fat-caused physical attractiveness deteriorates but it’s secondary. The primary motivator is the discouraging absence of exciting touching, fondling, and arousing stimulation. Touching/fondling holds a man’s interest, stirs his curiosity, and awakens his imagination. If wife’s fat is excess to what husband can tolerate, porn works as substitute for sex habits made suitable by blaming her for lack of self-respect to care better for herself.
  • I expect women have fun in overeating in disregard for what men think, because one root of female behavior is now unwisely based on feminist disrespect of men. However, feminist-think ignores the male nature in hopes of changing it. Men do not respect women who don’t respect themselves; overeating is out of character, disrespectful, and self-defeating for females—as men see it.
  • Men can’t love a woman they can’t respect. Therefore, excess fat prevents a woman being both respected and loved.  

Thus, women directly drive men toward porn by taking away the excitement of men touching, fondling, and activating their arousal with the female body. Indirectly, men lose respect and love from the lack of self-respect in excessively fat women.

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2792. Wifely Leadership — 02: Her First Hurdle


NOTE: In the last post I said your puzzlement will clear beginning with next post, namely this one. However, it’s not to be, the clearer air I intended is delayed another day.

——

Whatever a man believes is the starting point for his wife to indirectly exert her influence; aka wifely leadership. However, she can’t change him. She has to uncover new ways for him to think, accept, and value differently a multitude of problematic matters. She does it best when she anticipates what’s coming and influences him beforehand. She gets his buy-in to either her way or negotiated settlements aimed at avoiding damage from what she foresees coming down the marital pike. Her first hurdle, however, originates in the male nature.

Marriage has a surprise beginning. Women don’t recognize how to turn these mysterious factors to their advantage. When a man proposes marriage, the male nature imports five hidden concepts about which much is subliminal.

  1. Whatever it is, he believes his love is sufficient. Conquest proved that he owns her. Unless fully devoted to her beyond the normal, he acts no differently to please her requests for more attention, affection, support, etc.
  2. He believes her expressions of love will signal her satisfaction with him and continually confirm her likeability and loyalty to him.
  3. He believes his love of her is genuine as she is now, and he expects her not to change. His nature doesn’t allow him to love a woman different from the original without assessing her according to the seven conditions of masculine love: his respect of her, his devotion, her likeability, her loyalty, his likeability to her, his loyalty to her, and his conclusion that he loves her truly.
  4. He believes married life for him will be the continuation of his single life (but she expects him to change and he won’t). He meets his marital obligations to the extent his devotion to her keeps him satisfied with himself.
  5. His nature avoids doing anything at which he expects to fail. So, if he isn’t fully responsible for their marriage, he believes he’s not sufficiently in charge to prevent failure. Challenging his sense of full responsibility weakens his sense of duty, which discourages his motivational force to do what’s right for her.

When we do what we believe, we do what is right—for us at that moment. Wives can’t get their man to change. They can only influence his thinking—and do it indirectly and patiently—to look at life’s problems before they happen. Living primarily in the future more than the present, it’s a piece of cake for the future-oriented, planning-capable, well-intentioned wife dedicated to keeping husband responsible for marital success, aka no separation.

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