Category Archives: boobs

2753. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 05 Are You Compatible?


For the sake of clarity, I define complex matters in the simplest form. In the case of pursuing marital success—aka they never separate—the need for compatibility seems paramount. It brings to mind the lament of an old school wife: Glory be and golly gee! If its to be, it’s up to me.

Once joined in matrimony, compatibility means to go beyond love to sustain a couple’s mutual likeability, friendliness, and congeniality. Mutual love gets them started well, but it doesn’t last. Managing compatibility is easiest done by eliminating relationship toxins: by preventing the accumulation of irritants, accusations, criticism, blame, denying one’s responsibility, and other negative influences.

A couple’s compatibility requires management. Love isn’t enough for two reasons. Men love less reliably than women and even her romantic love fades in a year or two. After that, a more enduring love is essential to prevent separation. It puts the responsibility on the wife. A husband only knows how to ride along innocently; he automatically figures he is compatible or he would be somewhere else.*

Moreover, she has all the management ability. So, what does compatibility look like?

  • Sensory compatibility: It’s rooted in her immense ability to love deeply, she knows intuitively they are compatible. How can it be otherwise than right now? They are so in love. Consequently, the temporary nature of it goes unrecognized until it fades with romantic love in a year or two.
  • Mature compatibility: It’s rooted in a woman’s determination to ensure that she keeps her relationship together, and the wise wife begins immediately after the honeymoon. She can’t anticipate the frustrations and problems that lay ahead, but she can begin to strengthen their ability to live more closely and longer together.

Both sexes are born to be compatible with a mate, but its left up to couples. Wife, being the relationship manager, inherits the burden to see that husband doesn’t operate at the fringe of their compatibility. She holds him closer with tactics that satisfy him more than they satisfy her. Yes, her spirit of compatibility needs to be contagious. His sense of compatibility is weak until she patiently over time inspires them both to be more mutually likeable, friendly, and congenial. Make them closer together without demanding it of husband.

It’s not her love or their love that holds them together. Marital success requires more. Particularly that which arises out of the absence of irritants, turn offs, criticism, blame, anger at one another, deep arguments, fights, and other negative influences and accusations.

Sex likenesses do not breed success in a couple. Likenesses stir competition at which wives inevitably lose. Sex differences seal them together much better, because husbands can respect women who are different, unique, mysterious, and femininely attractive.

If she’s not fully understandable, he can mumble under his breath that she’s just a woman and move on without comment. It’s a husband’s favorite hobby; it relieves pressure to say the wrong thing, and he feels good about helping to keep peace with her.

More importantly in modern times, success requires the absence of wives acting like men. Many wives envy and expect to enjoy the perquisites and privileges that husbands think are their due. Wives can’t act like a husband and expect to keep the husband they have. It nurtures competition at which she inevitably loses to him. The virtuous woman that men seek to marry are highlighted by being uniquely different from men; wives do best when they remain that way.

In short, compatibility is marvelous when husband continues to pursue wife’s presence and close association within marriage. Likeable, friendly, and congenial, all of it underwritten by her love that signals her allegiance and loyalty to him. Her satisfactions come from his actions that signify her importance in both his life and her governance of their marital arrangement.

Women need or want a mate, men don’t need one but may want one. Energized by female love, women jump right in and work at it, but men drift along with whatever a woman offers in the way of mating that satisfies their man. Her compatibility management holds them together.

If she does it right, he accepts their life together as friendly and congenial habit, and he’s more easily satisfied to live with her for life.

——

*Heads up, ladies. In premarital screening, be sure to uncover each man’s habit of tossing relationship toxins into your relationship. Red flags should fly if a man is easily inclined to fault or criticize you, deny his responsibility for some things, or otherwise inflict your premarital relationship with negative inputs. It takes very little of that to poison marital compatibility after he’s unrestrained by winning you in marriage.

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2750. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 03 Her Battle of the Sexes


At post 2749 I described the War of the Sexes as each woman individually and independently up against all men, competing to see who gets their way. They are blessed by nature to succeed in that arrangement. Men go where the women are, so it’s up to each woman to play her cards independently to her own advantage.

Perhaps contrary to popular thought, the Battle of the Sexes is not about male gender versus female gender, dominance vs. submissive, equality vs. fairness, husband vs. wife, responsibility vs. irresponsibility. It’s easy to believe those competitive connections to be normal. However, God didn’t design us, Nature and genetics don’t endow us, and hormones don’t energize us that way.*

The Battle of the Sexes is one on one, begins with first encounter, and she commands the battleground. One woman willing to yield her independence under the right conditions versus one man willing to suppress his dominant nature long enough to conquer her. She inherits the burden to convince him that she’s much more endearing to him personally and more valuable for his life than are his hopes of conquest.

Both are born to get their way with the other, eternal competition that only a relationship expert can manage well. He’s a conqueror seeking conquest without obligation. She’s a conqueror seeking marriage before conquest. It’s the only way she can be sure of what he is truly after, either sex or her.

With a lasso made of her beauty, mystery, modesty, monogamous spirit, and his desire to conquer, he places it around his neck. One woman cuts out that man from the herd; leads him into her corral; breaks him of bucking; and does it with vim, vigor, and vitality. Before he can get her into bed the first time, she coaches and persuades him to learn how it pleases him to be both tamed and harnessed with her as good woman. By committing to how she trains him, he finally achieves conquest and enjoys the frequent and convenient sex won by pulling her buggy through life together.

The Battle of the Sexes expands with them as a couple. They court until both are convinced they are made for each other. He makes his move with a proposal of marriage, if and when he’s convinced living with her will satisfy him more than the way he presently lives.

With all his warts and sins, she is more the challenge than he. Example: As soon as she blames him for being like all men, she hardens his resistence to her influence, which means she weakens her ability to win the battle of capturing him. It’s a contradiction she has to work out successfully in the corral of their life together, and she has more than enough ability. The time and way to start is the tough part. (Discussed more deeply in future articles.)

The Battle of the Sexes is continuous in time, daily in events, and one woman pitted against whatever man she currently faces in whatever role he fills—first encounter, friend, foe, husband, boyfriend, business associate, FWB, or whatever. It’s each woman’s personal battle, and she has no one but herself to win it. IOW, yes, it’s all up to her how well she does in both the war and her battles to get her way in life with one man.

She has to rely on herself alone. As soon as she seeks help through the aegis and protection of other women banding together or blaming all men for her man’s faults, the man she faces assumes the aura of dominance in her eyes, which weakens her position. She then takes the easy road, allows for the expected dominant pressures, and yields sex or other matters without a battle of wits. In the process, he more easily refuses to cooperate or help her win their one-on-one battle.

By disregarding dominance as having a role in her relationships, each individual female more easily cuts out one horse to put in her corral. The battle then is that one female tames one male to be civilized up to female expectations to facilitate the raising of children. Each individual woman does that to her man, and she leaves other men and women out of her life to do the same for themselves.

Tomorrow: His Battle of the Sexes

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* It appears that way because modern culture says we can’t live with the sexes being different. The political class for reasons hidden from the public for over half a century ridicule men and criticize male traits and behaviors. They blame men for female problems, which makes enemies of men, which makes women desperate to have a man, which encourages them to act more like men in order to have one of their own. IOW, if women can’t make men stand up to feminist exaggerations, copy their ambitions and lie down with them.

The professed political object centralizes power to weaken patriarchy, but the result is political makeover of America. Once, our Judeo-Christian culture was primarily female friendly. Nowadays, it’s male friendlier and getting more so.

 

 

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2749. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 02 War of the Sexes


I recently recognized a severe problem connected with my explanations, reader understanding, and women relating with men. Let me re-frame the relationship picture. For clarity in the future, I use more precise definitions of the War of the Sexes and the Battle of the Sexes (tomorrow).

The War of the Sexes is men against women, true. Individuals of both sexes are born to get their way, so competition is a universal motivator. Yet, the dominant sex is reluctant to give away the privileges of dominance. Consequently, women far too easily fall victim to masculine disregard, disrespect, and even maltreatment except they find a better way to handle one man’s dominance.

It’s the immovable object of male dominance versus the irresistible force of attractive females. That picture needs further development.

Men are individualistic and have the physical and mental ability to force women if they wish. Viewing that as threatening, women cooperate more and try to bond together to overcome male dominance. It’s not their best strategy to admit that dominance exists.

The irresistible force of women comes not from their banding together but the opposite. Immovable objects are vulnerable to unique female beauty, independent mystery and charm of individual females, and their willingness to respect a man for who he is, what he does, and what he can brag about and promise for her future. It’s a job for each individual woman on her own.

It arises out of the irresistible attractiveness in the eyes of men that encourages one of them to become moveable—that is, more civilized, tamed, and accepting of one woman’s expectations in order to have her as his own. Consequently, unless each exploits her attractiveness to the best of her ability, she becomes less irresistible and less appealing to a man seeking a permanent mate.

It amounts to this. The war is each individual woman versus all men. Neither all nor many men can satisfy her. She only needs one but has to screen many and perhaps fight some to find one good enough for her standards and expectations. She has to be able to govern their relationship, which means she has to earn his  trust, which only arises out of his respect earned early in their relationship.

Therefore, until one man finds her the dream of his life, all those others make up a parade of passers-by. She’s on her own with whatever irresistible attractions she can generate. Other women are more competition than helpers; their advice is not based on her expectations, hopes, and dreams but their own as they apply it to her life. Her own judgments are paramount, and the greater her self-gratitude, the stronger and more dependable her decisions for her.

Neither individually nor gender-wide as feminists try to make it, women can’t overpower their dominant mate. They may think or assume they have, but it isn’t reality; men can invent surprises, if they don’t already have some developed. In their heart of hearts, they refuse to lose to a weaker person in the normal course of events. She has to make their relationship unique and above normal in his eyes, so that he loses interest in always getting his way with her. He prefers to please her more than dominate her.

She can do it. Women are born with special abilities that men lack. She was born to get her way, and she’s all alone in getting it with one man. She was also born with all the ability needed to achieve it. Self-gratitude for courage to stand up to get her way; the respectful, respectable, and honorable intentions within her heart and manner; and the necessary skills, talent, and expertise to govern their relationship successfully.

When women try to outcompete dominant men, they fail over the long run. Consequently, she’s better with another strategy. Women are born able to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver the dominance in one man—not the man but his dominant ways that are vulnerable to his being bought off. Provided, that is, if no one else knows about it, or it appears he’s giving of himself rather than being defeated.

Each woman’s war continues daily until she isolates one man to join her in the Battle of the Sexes, one on one. Her female armor shines virtuously with mystery, modesty, and monogamous promise. Maybe more, but at least one man finds her attractive enough that his self-interest to have her exceeds his natural urge for first-time sex together.

Her lasso is around his neck, and she never threw it. He took her attractive bait as he continues to enjoy the self-promise of exploiting his conqueror’s ability and ambition of bedding her. The immovable object yields to the irresistible force.

So much for handling male dominance. It’s won in the war between one woman and all men. In her self-development as a female, she refuses to recognize it in light of her irresistibility and ability to park dominance off in the corner of her relationships.

Dominance is out of the picture. The Battle of the Sexes is one-on-one and enables an independent woman to use her irresistible force to make her likeability as potential mate as attractive as her best appearance.

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2746. Wisdom from Miss Gina #4


Thanks to Miss Gina for amplifying post 2745, When Ladies Reign, Men Pay More Attention. She speaks clearly, so I quote her.

“I totally agree with your comments.

“Ladies, don’t expect other women to cheer you on as you become more feminine and adopt higher standards! In fact, you are likely to see more attempts to bully and stab you in the back. You may be unceremoniously and unkindly dumped by females you thought were friends, as well. Your newfound feminine confidence (and friendship with God) will move you forward, though. Other women are thinking, “Who does she think she is? She’s no better than the rest of us.” And of course, in a sense, you aren’t, but you do recognize the great value that God has placed inside each of us, whereas they don’t. You also have come to realize that having the best in life doesn’t come easily, whereas they want something for nothing. This is just a natural sifting as you change your stature in the world, because you will also notice greater acceptance from those few other women who think and act as you do.

“Once they have seen that they can’t drag you back to their level, you may also eventually notice that the former women start taking better care of themselves and being more feminine, as well, but they probably won’t tell you it’s because of your influence.

“Meanwhile, a high-value lady will notice a definite increase in interest from men of all types, from little boys to elderly men. (More reason for the loser girls to be mad…) Much of this interest will show itself in the form of gentlemanly behavior. Men and boys both just want to talk with a pretty, feminine woman. (OK, other stuff, too…but all men *do* enjoy talking with a clever, kind, and attractive lady–and just doing so can make their day.) Men intrinsically understand work, value, and price. Of course many will try to get something for nothing, but they are very conscious of the concept, nonetheless.”

Thank you, Miss Gina.

 

 

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2745. When Ladies Reign, Men Pay More Attention


Her Highness Lady Penny at post 2744, captivated me with this claim:

“For me, the moment I exert my independence and difference/uniqueness at the office, everyone wants to know why I must be so different from them or so difficult or why I must have an ‘attitude’, as they perceive it. There is big pressure to be the same/equal to everyone else and I find this very disrespectful and annoying. I am constantly in rebel mode, just to protect who I am.”

I’m more grateful than surprised to read what Lady Penny says. Congratulations are due for her operating in rebel mode; it will benefit her in the long run. She gave me this point on which to elaborate; there are two kinds of women.

The lady stands out with a higher level of feminine attractiveness, respect, and desire. She’s different from other gals. Her uniqueness generates masculine curiosity about her feminine mystery, modesty, and self-respect. The imagination of many men stirs with thoughts about how to achieve conquest.

Men want too investigate the lady more than her less unique sister females. Investigation requires investment of time and money, which provides opportunity for a lady to screen and measure a man’s potential for marriage. Longer investigations accrue to her benefit. Thus, the lady manages her life more to her liking than other women are capable.

My major point springs out of the seed Lady Penny plants above. It’s precisely her kind of womanly behavior that civilizes, tames, and domesticates men to act like better men for females; be more circumspect pursuing sex; be more cautious about showing disrespect; and be more reluctant to offend by suggesting fellatio. In short, be more gentlemanly.

Men act that way only when women make themselves appear unconquerable as a matter of duty to themselves. In that way ladylike behavior consistently dampens and slows a man’s conquering urges without killing his interest for lack of progress.

After many years of observation and study, I claim this to be accurate. The more ladylike the woman, the more likely she finds a good man and keeps him as good husband. Of course, describing what turns woman into successful lady is far more complicated than described here. However, I hit some high spots.

A lady stands up for herself as different and not dependent on other women for how to dress, associate, converse, and entertain. Her judgements are infallible, and she’s able to live with her mistakes. If she has a husband, she makes him look good among his friends and associates, aka his competitors. If unmarried, her purposeful attractiveness stirs a man’s curiosity. Many men imagine themselves the beneficiary of what husbands appreciate with a lady wife, and manly ambitions enlarge or shift direction.

A woman can become a lady by being more independent. She stresses her difference from other women and dresses up regularly and modestly with an attractive body, preferably slender and graceful. Acting as a lady subliminally plants seeds that her attractiveness hides a more intriguing female of unknown quality. She challenges men to stimulate manly competition for her attention. She’s willing be dependent on her man, but he first has to measure up to her standards and expectations in order to win her.

Ladies elevate themselves above other women. They govern their sex world by standing out as different among women. Seemingly unconcerned about opinions that differ from their own, ladies appear unique in the eyes of men. All of which adds feminine mystique, modesty, and qualities that invite men to admire as virtues. The purpose of being a lady is to attract, capture, and keep one of the best men available. Other women don’t admire a lady’s ability and so they end up out-competed by more unique females.

Other women, dressed for comfort and erogenous zone exposure more than feminine attractiveness, send a message that they care not a whit for how they look to men in general. They may fix up for a date but little else but church. Their appearance implies that sexual assets are available for little more than the asking. Caring little about appearance generally, they self-identify as round heel, easy-to-conquer women not permanently attractive to men but to whom they are usable and disposable. They find and exploit a boyfriend and expect proposal of marriage through sexual adventuring or living together, but they never learn how to capture a good husband. If they do, they can’t keep him very long.

Such short-sighted women want to be like female associates rather than stand out as individuals. In so doing they easily ignore or bypass their instinct and intuition about human nature. In the final result, they find themselves victimized by lack of special regard, respect, consideration, and as uniquely different in the eyes of men. Moreover, they have to rely on sex just to attract a man.

They try so often to have boyfriend or husband that sex becomes the currency of relationships. However, sex doesn’t bond a man, too much currency downgrades women into common ordinariness, more and more sex is needed to sustain satisfaction with life, and promiscuity spreads as hard-up women seek more satisfaction with themselves.

When women act like ladies with all the accessories that symbolize their independent power status and influence inside a couple, they reign in the social marketplace and the home. Unfortunately, modern women don’t see it that way. They expect a lot by offering so little. I spot in public so many empty ring fingers in just thirty- and forty-year old women. To this man, it seems both sexes are losing satisfaction with their lives and especially with the opposite sex.

Thank you, Lady Penney, for the opportunity to open the subject. It’s lain dormant in my mind for a long time.

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2744. Life Made Simpler for Women — 13


  1. What is beautiful in a wife? Perception being reality to husband, her beauty is whatever he inherits with his proposal and they began life together.
  2. Our perceptions always differ, and mine is more accurate than yours. Men believe much easier what they figure out and not what a woman tells them about relationships they happen to be in.
  3. The secret to any relationship one hopes to keep alive is to keep him satisfied with who he is and what he’s doing. Of course, it’s impossible at all times. But women who practice for years eventually master the art; they are born to win at that game.
  4. A woman’s beauty is best used to find, recruit, and capture a man. After conquest, it has much less relationship appeal, although it contributes significantly to her likeability and thus toward marriage.
  5. Picky, fussy, independent, and strongly feminine women attract the most and catch the best men, provided they mostly smile, politely listen, and remain attractive.
  6. The smarter woman out-competes other gals. She makes all men take less notice of sex and focus on who she is and what she does—which is how men measure someone’s worth.
  7. Hunters scout for self-satisfaction. A trophy deer gets wall-mounted, rabbits do not. Mentally, a husband wants to see wife remain unchanged to always remind of the superior satisfaction of earning her for his own. Whatever she was worth, he beat out those other dudes.
  8. Women don’t want to think about this. Conquest means she’s been earned, he paid her price. She is his already, and he can naturally ignore her hopes to keep him. The unconquered woman drives an armored vehicle to guard her most valuable assets. On conquest, she may or may not have the ticket to board the conqueror’s bus.

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2736. Back to Basics for Back to Basics — Part B


Your Highness Back to Basics,

I continue my response to your comment at 2728. Your intriguing statements include this bolded sentence.

“I believe most women would rather be thought attractive and not hold a man, than being able to hold a man but not noticed for attractiveness.”

I can accept that many women believe as you say. However, such thoughts are contrary to the female heart and nature. Women are born into the superior gender, endowed with ability to get their way with men, and also to be compatible with a mate. As born, each inherits the following lifelong motivations in her heart:

She has: need for a brighter future; drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones; want of someone strong to help with tough times in life; fear of abandonment; ability to yield in the present to get her way in the future; sex drive aimed at usefulness, intimacy, and procreation more than compatibility or pleasure; expertise to manage relationships; and belief that she’s pretty. Men differ on all counts.

Those motivational strengths make her a woman to be reckoned with, when used as genetics and hormones energize her to govern a relationship and guide a man through a life together. If it’s not a gal’s mission, she gets a poor start.

Note this: Her prettiness supports it, but her motivation to be attractive springs out of the primal urge to get her way. Being attractive attracts men and enables single women to fill the buyer role, make her own choice, get her own way. Remaining attractive through aging enables wives to fill the seller role and keep husband satisfied as the buyer of old and new marital obligations that she may develop to brighten her future.

Self-centered, smiling, and charming use of female strengths—such as mystery, modesty, patience, indirectness, loyalty, feminine charm, and cooperative spirit—make a woman likeable to men. Her success en route to happiness is sourced, promoted, and advanced much more by those and other unique strengths than either physical attractiveness or what women think of men. Likeability as permanent partner trumps attractiveness as sex object.

In the end, women are able to find and keep a man satisfied with himself, which is what it takes to keep a man as mate. Attractiveness plays a major role attracting  a good enough man, but it has to merge with her other virtues to keep him.

More follows tomorrow.

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