Category Archives: courtship

2669. Superior and Dominant Genders — 02


Women are victims of conventional wisdom. It actually sucks the life out of a solid marriage.

Domestic issues keep women frustrated, relationships in turmoil, and men dissatisfied with women. Those issues burst out as toxic attitudes that pit men and women as enemies. The following attitudes, for example.

The expectation but impossibility of equal sharing of homecare, childcare, etc. Sooner or later men make themselves unworthy. Blame that men are somehow at fault for women’s problems. Distrust of men because they don’t believe or act as women do. Failure to earn a man’s respect but still expect his love. Wifely conviction that husband has to be told about everything she considers wrong. Feminist-endowed excuse that she is always right. Female willingness to accept political correctness as legitimate. Wifely expectation that hubby causes their problems and is responsible to improve their relationship. Female rationalizing that makes someone else responsible for her problems.  Women listen only to women about men. Wives forego being the heart and neck of the home with intention to  become the head. Wife complains endlessly.

Plus, too little respect and gratitude for who a man is and little or no dependence on what he does. Men object but women pay little attention because of the blame, and so men learn to resent, resist, and retaliate. Payback saves face.

Female attitudes and expectations cause women to act so different from their nature that they lose their position in life as the superior gender. They lose to the dominant gender by their inability and unwillingness to earn a man’s respect. (Funny thing about respect, the only way to earn it is to first demo either trust or respect.)

Each woman has a different set of complaints, and except for sex it quickly makes her obsolete to her man. If not before marriage, then afterward if she changes to become a persona different than he married.

In short, conventional wisdom implants false hope that women can find happiness by ignoring their design, abandoning their nature, foregoing their inborn endowments, and short-circuiting their hormonal energies. Copying manly habits makes them less attractive, needed, and desirable to men as candidates for marriage. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman; feminine attractiveness, modesty, and cooperation (rather than competition) are virtues common to most men.

Conventional wisdom is that women focus on independence, sexual freedom, and using men. In the process, women ignore their natural and inborn ability, unique female blessing, and personal strength. It weakens feminine superiority and strengthens masculine dominance; that seems of little concern to women which is another part of their captivation by conventional wisdom.

Men devalued by women find ways to win in the end. Men do not lose to the weaker sex, and modern female tactics make women weaker and men more determined to win than ever before.

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2668. Superior vs. Dominant Gender — 01


I sense a rant coming on. When sex is everything, no room exists for recovery. Example, what does relationship recovery look like for women today? We are six or seven sub-generations* deep into Feminism. Is it paying off for women in their relationships with men?

Modern women don’t know jack about Jack and not enough about Jill. The sexes are born very different, yet cultural and political trending add constant pressure for them to be more alike. Unisex is no longer a popular term, but the pressure to achieve it is certainly common. (Toilets according to personal preference?)

Women routinely let a man’s sexual pleasure—and perhaps some claimed by her—to substitute for what they can no longer get reliably out of one man. Examples: brighter future for her, permanent relationship, mutual respect, mutual love, likeability based on persona rather than sexual compatibility, sexual fidelity, his duty to stay following a surprise pregnancy, fulfilled moral obligations, dependence on him, two-parent home, fathering their children, he provides and protects, family leadership, lifetime marriage. Oh, she might get a few of those, but her nature craves all of those benefits to be available with one man in her life.

Women can’t get what they want out of players and modern men, unless they agree that sex is everything or at least enough. Men don’t have much more to offer, because they don’t have too. Women are too liberal with their expectations about men. They can’t get their way except temporarily by yielding, can’t get what they expect to get except as they play the man’s game of cheap and easy sex. They rationalize that it’s enough in order to have their own man or avoid being dumped. They also swallow their pride, self-respect, and ability to negotiate for a better life for her and her kids.

Women themselves destroy the worth of their natural superiority at virtually no cost to men. No negotiations about obligations; just give aways that enable men to always win in the present but women lose for their future. Men by nature manage the present but ignore the future; they can handle whatever comes, which in itself—if not influenced by a well-loved woman—is enough to ruin a woman’s future.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with other people. Jill straddles the wave of sexual freedom with legs spread, while Jack enjoys the greatest unobligated pleasures. Jack keeps promoting endless sex by endorsing political propaganda, media culture, and masculine habits of dealing with conquered females as disposables. Women fall for it, and men and women become enemies pretty much as planned by radical feminists and political revolutionaries more than half a century ago.

Women destroy their superior ability by favoring male dominance. They lower themselves to the level of men for the pleasure of sex and thereby lift responsibility from men to help care for their offspring. Men will keep forever the lid on that jar of life.

Only the crossing of female legs outside of marriage can restore a woman-governed society as once existed in America. Only marriage-obligated sex can recover manly respect of females, enable femininity to overpower feminist thought, enable men to appreciate ruling the marriage and family while wife runs both, and make it happen by utilizing the natural superiority of the female sex.

We are all born to get our way with others, which means that competition is the lifeblood of human interaction. Calm and peaceful competition depends on mutual respect, each gender for the other. Those days are long past; single men have virtually no respect for females, as evidenced by both the habits and growing popularity of players. Other men may have some respect left. Of course, if men are blamed, they claim that women are respected, but it’s a dumbed-down version caused by women not standing up for themselves.

Men get their way by out-competing other men, but they rely on the threat of—men have little else—physicality to dominate females. Women get their way by competing with women. They are well-born to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. But they are highly restricted, if they don’t use their physicality of crossed legs to capture and win sincere obligations by one man who chooses her as his.

Women have sexual assets that men will pay to access. If men don’t have to pay much, they can orbit through and around the female neighborhood satisfying manly urges with freedom. Hit and miss but never left out in the cold of female disapproval for not trying hard enough, for not meeting female values, standards, and expectations.

Unattractive women have less hope of capturing a man; their female sisters keep most of the men occupied and satisfied. With sex on his mind all the time, such as with players, only attractive dolls fit the bill. Gals with more than sex to offer don’t come into view, aren’t noticed, and are not observed long enough for their qualities to be admired, virtues uncovered, and for men to learn that sex isn’t everything.

Women are superior except when they forego or forget their strengths in order to have temporary boyfriend, husband, lover, ex, or just be popular. It enables men to exploit their dominance without competition. Women no longer get their way, unless its by endorsing the man’s game of sexual freedom.

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*I count a sub-generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often boys and girls separate themselves from the previous generation with their choices in toys, music, apparel, habits, taste, chit-chat, preference to associate with peers, and adolescent openness with their unique personal bias. As adults, each sub-generation has its own hard-to-distinguish identity, but the latest is deeper into Feminism than previous ones.

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2664. Refresher Thoughts — 03


  1. You can love a person a lot and not be comfortable living with them, or even feel the bonds are breaking. Examples: a) Sex does not bond a man and even great sex can become routine or even tiresome to a woman after romantic love fades a year or two after marriage. b) When living together, likeability—the appeal and desire for the presence of the other—outweighs love as a permanent connector.
  2. Think of marriage as three interlocking domains of different sizes with these labels: Hers, his, and theirs. The label indicates who’s personally responsible for being successful to the satisfaction and admiration of their mate. (Dividing up and accepting the responsibilities is a major function of good courtship.)
  3. Men forget more easily than forgive a woman’s mistakes. Women more easily forgive than forget a man’s weaknesses.
  4. Men are producers and oriented toward producing results. Women are processors and oriented toward developing relationships. Processors usually need help from someone to produce results that support their ambitions. Men seldom need help.
  5. A man’s ambitions arise out of his need for self-admiration. The admiration of others impresses him less than his own. A woman’s ambitions arise out of her need to feel important, and feedback reinforces it.
  6. What we don’t believe about ourselves, we can’t share with others. People respect or love others no more than their self-respect or self-love.
  7. The sexes differ again. Females think unearned gifts are their due. Males don’t appreciate them. The female nature causes women to display their love too soon or offer conquest before a man has earned the privilege.
  8. Women are born with plenty self-love but they lack self-respect. They have to earn it before they can respect others, and they do it best by acting as if they are highly respected. Two customs work best when she gets her way: 1) She upholds the best method by which men and women associate romantically, namely dates and courtships. 2) She shows great but quiet determination and spunk to deny access to her sexual assets. (If women don’t have standards, men run all over them.)
  9. A man’s love is based on unconditional respect for the female gender and conditional respect for one of its members. (In today’s social marketplace, the former is sadly lacking. Women pay a huge price at the hands of men who show more disrespect than respect, who promote masculinity at the expense of femininity.)
  10. Women are the relationship experts, and men don’t get involved with relationship management. (Push men into trying it and they suffer loss of self-respect and her likeability plummets. Why? Men don’t know what’s wrong or the cause. They are either in or not in a relationship. Not to blame, it’s their nature.)

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2663. Refresher Thoughts — 02


  1. Few things reverse a woman’s attitude more quickly than her man saying, Honey, I was wrong!
  2. Few thing reverse a man’s attitude more easily than his woman saying, Honey, you are right.
  3. The more likeable she becomes to him, the more likeable he becomes to her. True!
  4. The more likeable he becomes to her, the more likeable she becomes to him. Not true!
  5. Recovery is everything, because everything is related to this: We all make mistakes frequently. The variables available to use to make a recovery are more important than the excuse someone has for stumbling mentally.
  6. Marital success depends upon her micromanaging the core of a marriage to get her way in her domain, and NOT intruding unwanted in the periphery, his domain.
  7. It’s life’s greatest challenge. He feels responsible for marital success because he doesn’t tackle something with intent to fail. But she runs the show because she has all the ability and expertise to generate their success together. For him to succeed well, he has to bow to her and her wisdom; he doesn’t have enough.
  8. Wise husbands enable themselves to rule the roost in title and practice, while they gently, quietly, and in background encourage their wives to govern and coach the rooster into eventually getting her way. (It’s an art that women possess from birth, except it may fail her if she doesn’t team with a man who finds her totally likeable.)
  9. Men follow women they like except when the female makes three mistakes. Women give away their ultimate bargaining power, premarital sex, which costs her too much of his respect. Women continually complain and blame a man’s shortcomings. Wives try to compete with their husbands, which reduces her likeability and eventually her acceptability.
  10. A man NEEDS only one thing—a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare to fight his battles tomorrow. A woman NEEDS a brighter future, which can be a lot of things into which a man’s interest can be woven by her.

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2662. Refresher Thoughts — 01


We could not survive if we had no generalities by which to guide ourselves. These apply most of the time. They’re good enough to rely on until reality shows you otherwise.

  1. Parents should neither complain nor explain themselves to their children. When they do, they weaken their authority, figurehead status, ability to judge without dispute, and invite kids to be competitors.
  2. Children see disdain or criticism of one parent for the other, and they learn to play one against the other. It’s the nature of children to do whatever is required to get their way.
  3. Society’s popularity of sloppy apparel, careless appearance, and obesity by girls and women significantly reduces the desire and intention of men to remain close to one woman and fosters the manly spreading of seed.
  4. The popularity of unmarried sex squelches the benefits of marriage. For men, multiple conquests are preferable to the familiar.
  5. Relationship success depends more on the absence of negative stimuli for the man than the presence of positive influences for the woman.
  6. Devotion means he uncovers his hidden agendas to her. Commitment means his agendas remain hidden. (Good example of devotion in My All American at Netflix.)
  7. Late night TV too easily induces thoughts, wishes, and dreams about replacing one’s mate with someone who appears better. Sex and sleep without TV work better to solidify a relationship.
  8. If she’s easy to respect, she’s easy for a man to love. If she’s easy with sex, she’s difficult to respect.
  9. Relying on your heart exclusively will lead you to what you don’t want, because today’s heart isn’t prepared for tomorrow’s realities.
  10. Mutual respect and likeability are the most important ingredients of enduring love.

More follows next.

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2661. Strategy for Courtship—07: His Love Develops


In earlier posts I made a big deal about how men are primarily producers and women processors. I present a major exception; a man falling in love is a process that I make appear sequential. Actually, it is both fragmented and spontaneous and the emotional conclusion of a lot of reason, logic, and self-study. Moreover, it’s virtually invisible to the woman involved.

A man’s devotion is the first stage of development in his love. Other conclusions add to the process of his figuring out if he’s in love with her. I recap the essentials. Through his mind and heart, the following pass as products of their togetherness:

  • Her likeability, aka her appeal for him to be in her company.
  • His devotion, aka strong desire to please her. He likes her, seeks to spend time together, and likes who he is when with her.
  • His respect, at least the form most critical to his enduring love, grows out of her resistance to yield sex to him. The longer she resists, the greater the promise that other guys also failed and his respect for her diligence.
  • Her loyalty, aka the promise he sees that she will be faithful to him.
  • His likeability to her, aka the sincerity he sees in her love.
  • His loyalty to her, aka his willingness to give up all others to ‘possess’ her for himself.
  • His bonded love, aka devotion swollen to please himself for pleasing her.
  • His true love emerges from his admission that his life with her can be more satisfying than living by himself. He expects not to fail at anything he undertakes including marriage. Consequently, he also figures to love what he’s about to do, which is to live with her. Any proposal follows acceptance of that conclusion on top of his true love of her.

A woman who expects her man to work out that process by himself has the right attitude. His process of evaluating her for entry into his life makes dating and courtship intriguing and critical. He decides, and she’s along for the ride. He appears to rule, she actually runs the show.

However, the show she runs is herself, who and what she is to him. Out of that grows or doesn’t grow his love. She can’t change him; she can only make herself more attractive, appealing, and desirable for him to possess her in the ultimate venue, marriage. It begs the question, how?

Consequently, to complete this study of courtship, I suggest two series. Putting Marriage in His Mind and Putting Marriage out of Her Mind. They begin at post  871 and run in sequence.

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2660. Strategy for Courtship—06: How Women Do Better—VI


  1. Women typically make each other feel important by showing gratitude and expressing love. They do the same with men, but it doesn’t work the same. Showing gratitude and even love does little more than capture his attention, except it may register as prelude to conquest. She makes him feel important in her eyes by listening to what he has to say, while he seeks to impress her with his knowledge, control the present agenda, and lay some groundwork for conquest. If she can’t or doesn’t listen and make him feel important in her eyes, he will likely look for someone else.
  2. Throughout dating and courtship, I advise this. Her outward attractiveness always appeals to his attention as pleasurably unique, proud to be seen with her by other men. Everything else about her, he has to earn. That is, whatever he expects from her, she refuses until some later and more appropriate date or time. From her, nothing is free. Her nature tells her she’s more important and worthy only if she’s earned by someone proving her worth.
  3. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Smart women, therefore, develop their own standards up to which men must step or earn. Examples: He hints he’d like to take her out, and she insists on a more direct invitation. He expects a goodnight kiss, and she delays until next date. When she asks but he won’t quit cursing, she insists on being taken home. If he won’t go to church with her, she won’t date him. When he persists inviting her for sex, she stops him with a surprising action— break from their current embrace, a slap, a “take me home”! It’s the surprise that works.
  4. If he won’t honor those and other desires and standards that she develops to test men for sincerity, then he won’t become devoted to her. He lacks enough respect to want to please her. By having high standards for him to live up to, she earns his respect by his earning her permission, appreciation, and confirmation of his worth to her.
  5. This produces competition among couples. Both sexes are born to get their way in life. It works to a couple’s advantage when she allows him to get his way in courtship, and she persuades him to get her way in marriage. Being of the superior sex enables her to take charge both times. Thus, courtship is the proving grounds for her to condition his thinking so that she gets her way beyond the altar. Of course it’s much easier stated than done but built on the following truths:
  • Both sexes are born to get their way in matters of life. It cultivates competition as the strongest driving force of human behavior.
  • Women competing directly with the dominant sex seldom get their way.
  • Men rely on directness and physical and mental strength to get their way in the present. Women rely on natural patience, indirectness, and cooperation to get their way to brighten their future.
  • Women learn as girls they can get their way for the future much better by out-maneuvering their competitive and stronger mate without offending him in the present.
  • Men ‘hire’ wives to take care of those things in married life that men don’t care to be responsible for. It enables wife to get her way with everything for which she’s willing to accept responsibility.
  • A husband satisfied with both her and living with her is satisfied with both his marriage and himself. His investment of self appears safe, and so he stays closer to home.

6. Modern women lose their advantage by blaming or begrudging men while also trying to act more masculine. It’s the wrong way to win courtship success, because greater femininity has many more advantages that men appreciate. Natural differences between the sexes are the glue that both attracts and keeps a couple together.

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