Category Archives: Culture & Politics

2812. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Sex Drive


Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

SEX DRIVE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up, sometimes to the point of losing their sexual identity.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life that they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when a woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against penile penetration the first time. The longer she delays it with each man, the more respect she earns, and more respect fuels a man’s love and devotion.

That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from birth to both earn and capitalize on success.

Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:

  1. Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
  2. She has a psychological imperative to assuage the wants of herself or needs of someone else that stimulate her to copulate.
  3. Possessing a primal need of self-importance, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. (She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; the latter enables development of a man’s love and devotion.)
  4. She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (Her primal acceptability of conquest earns a man the privilege that she cooperate with him and his ambitions.)
  5. She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding. Her nature craves it; she can almost never get enough. Especially when her spirits are down, which is quite often. (Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words to enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness, desire, and free will, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process that pleases her, her partner, or to even make unanticipated mistakes.)

Those natural female interests enable women to recognize the male sex drive as different. She sees men energized more urgently, much harder to satisfy in quantity, and more easily satisfied in quality. Such perception empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure are natural motivators for the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life and are often used to override the five hormonal urges cited above.)

Primal motivational urges energize five versions of the male sex drive. These bring sex proactively into a man’s world:

  1. His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field.
  2. He has a life-long physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive. He’s willing to pay a very high price but only to conquer and not for more. The more attractive she is to him, the higher the price he will pay for conquest only. Sex does not bond him, but conquest separates women into two classes. (To willingly and assertively pay the ultimate price of his freedom, he needs more; sex isn’t enough. He seeks the right woman who satisfies him with himself and he identifies as unique, feminine, and so virtuous not even he can achieve penetration the first time. IOW, she’s so hard to get, all his competitor males must also have missed out.)
  3. He has an instinctive and competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
  4. He possesses a steadfast and competitive ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, for which he’s willing to pay the ultimate price. If, that is, he figures he can satisfy himself living with her better than living by himself or someone else.
  5. He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest. Beyond his penetration and for subsequent sexual events, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent. Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it is about to arrive as expected in a moment of orgiastic glory after penetration and as the result of his self-acknowledged excellent performance up to that moment.)

Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward with conquered women. After conquest, a man expects cooperation and thus refuses to compete; he will find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman.

Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He uses his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he pays whatever price she demands. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. Sex with her doesn’t bond him, and so neither her love nor sex will hold him. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and then losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way, because women don’t understand the male nature as men are born.

Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their own nature.

In that case (and more follows tomorrow), women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates the other very much, blame spurs anger, anxieties spread, couples separate, and children self-develop to tunes played by the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.

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2810. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Purpose


Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

PURPOSE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up.

A woman lives to fulfill herself as a good woman; she aches to be good and usually expects better. Hopeful of being happy—but not always able to stick to a regimen that keeps her feeling both good about herself and about doing good—she routinely falls out of grace with herself.

Much weaker than men in self-respect, she finds it essential to use self-love and love of others to make herself happy and on a steady course of life. She feels good about herself and senses that she does good; whenever, that is, she demonstrates love and gratitude for someone else. Also, her desire for goodness for its own sake pressures her to focus primarily on the future. She plans ahead, because conviction of being happy is temporary and her goodness is usually a little shy of achievement. Example: Tomorrow’s tasks and events have already been worked out in her mind, so she can sleep tonight.

On the road to goodness, she’s motivated to continually maintain the sense of self-importance that is confirmed to her by those around her and for whom she shows gratitude for their presence.

A man lives to primarily keep himself satisfied with himself; secondarily he keeps himself satisfied living with someone else or with whomever he associates. His focus primarily aims at the present, mostly because of the motivational importance of the verb keep. To keep himself satisfied with himself, a man is energized by the inborn need of self-admiration, which energizes him to work, to do, to accomplish, to achieve.

Focused on being satisfied with himself makes husband an easy tool in his wife’s hands. No need for perfection or her outlandish effort. She only needs to read him accurately and keep him satisfied with who she is and what she does. That’s enough to keep him satisfied for having married her. If he’s satisfied living with her, he didn’t make a mistake when he proposed, and that is both a self-satisfying conviction and a major producer and supporter of long-running compatibility.

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2807. Open Marriage: Big Picture


A recent trend in feminist-think is the open marriage. A married couple chooses to freely associate sexually with others both known and unknown. Pressure for expanding its popularity is another power play by feminists to expunge America of family traditions. And open marriage is certain to accelerate the trend.

Feminists are always seeking ways to equalize the sexes. However, open marriage magnifies the inequality against men already institutionalized in laws and courts.

The feminist cause behind open marriage is to discredit marriage and eventually end it as an institution of togetherness. Feminists see marital obligations as unequal, onerous, and even abusive to wives, because feminists have convinced women that they shouldn’t respect men for either who they are or what they do.

Blame men and one finds it easy to justify getting what feminists want women to become: loudmouth defenders of equality for the sake of imposing more womanly influence over men. It’s well underway too. Feminists tout sexual freedom, sex for pleasure, and embrace porn for its homo influence; all serve as innocent or welcomed motivators of women. In the name of more sexual activity, everything is now welcomed by women.

Open marriage threatens the success of two primal urges that women have spent millennia trying to arrange dynamically and to the advantage of female interests. Specifically, mother love and the primal sex drive of men to conquer, both of which last for life.

Those two complex, complementary, and balanced motivational forces are alike in strength, dynamism, and determination. The primary sex drive buried deep in the unconscious mind of men explodes during puberty and remains a hidden agenda for life. It motivates men to achieve the one-time conquest of attractive and available women. As for women, mother love is rooted deep in the female’s unconscious mind and emerges with natural childbirth.

Over the millennia, by promising monogamous loyalty, wives tame masculine wildness and convince men to live a civilized life that wives can then make evermore female-friendly. Marriage has always been some sort of swap meet that domesticates men to be loyal in generating/providing/protecting a woman’s family in exchange for wife being sexually faithful.

 

Open marriage provides individual wives many opportunities to find a new mate while enjoying the pleasures of sex and screening for new-mate potential. Each encounter becomes a satisfying shopping trip at virtually no cost to her. Without interest in that possibility, the female nature has no interest in spousal permission to betray the other.

Women bond with men during sex. As open wives bond with other men, they are certain to splinter whatever allegiance exists to husband. How many strangers and friends, how much outside bonding? Whatever, it’s a huge inequality of spousal loyalty.

Women who seek open marriage have already lost allegiance to their husband, or at least lost enough to question the wisdom of remaining with him without testing the outside world. Or, at least lost enough that the anticipated joy of new mystery and sex for pleasure overrides interest in him.

Men don’t bond during sex, and so husbands lack both the pleasures and the emotional connections that naturally uplift open wives. With permission to cheat, sex with other women becomes routine if husband can find women who are willing. Wives can easily find sex partners; husbands can’t. Another advantage to women. His inequality leaves husband monogamous as before, while wife splits and splinters their togetherness with thoughts of other men.

If she has sex with friends or acquaintances of husband, what do you think happens to his respect among those friends and cohorts? It’s not a condition men tolerate easily, and they usually take deep hurt or great offense.

Open marriage threatens both spouses and their dreams of togetherness. Only a few sexual encounters outside the relationship are sufficient to sever emotional connections in the home. Two people living separate lives under the same roof, for how long can their marriage last? What will their children learn, as mother pursues sex while father sits with the kids? Can boys respect mothers who aren’t loyal to fathers? Kids can quickly conclude that mom looks for a new father for them.

 

Their respective natures work like this. Beginning in toddlerhood, men dream of doing or becoming what they admire. Ambitions arise, accomplishments build one upon another, until they develop their lives into the pursuit of what they dream.

Girls are slightly different. They self-develop in girlhood until they feel proficient as candidate for a good woman. Then, just before or in the early throes of puberty,  they visualize and dream of what they expect their life to become. Usually with husband, family, and home or suitable substitutes that come with settling down as a couple.

He cheats and she wants to talk. His emotional connection with her is more important than his physical fidelity. She has two options from which to choose the best for her at the time and amidst her total situation.

OTOH, she cheats and he wants to walk. Only one option exists because she betrays him to his competitors, which threatens his self-respect, which weakens his respect for her, and which proportionally weakens his love of her. A man is unwilling to live with an unfaithful woman, because he loses both respect and love for her.

As spouses become less unique in generating and keeping emotional connections with each other, their purpose of mutually trading strengths and mutually compensating for weaknesses dissolves into weaker values for tradeoff. Each becomes less important to the other, and the glue of marriage dissolves with each exchange of dissatisfaction with the other. Open marriage is designed to produce that effect: They don’t need each other as much as before and are justified in finding someone else.

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2806. Response to a Malcontent


The previous post, 2805, lists 20 mismanagement tendencies that cause marital breakups. To it, Godsgrace55 responds this way:

“All 20 of those behaviors also apply to men. But men think they don’t have to address their own behaviors. That is why you notice so many middle age and senior women without a wedding ring. Those women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

I respond as follows.

——

Dear Godsgrace55, you still don’t get it.

  1. Blaming men costs women whatever advantage they wish they had among men. (Blame may be well deserved, but it works contrary to what women intend.)
  2. Neither sex lives alone without the presence of the other in their lives. At the cultural level aimed at brightening the females’ future, women lead and men follow. At the societal level aimed at the present, men lead and women follow. It’s a swap-meet at which women have first choice for generating success for females, if they but focus on the future instead of getting their way in the present.
  3. In general and indirectly but not in particular and directly, women act and men react in response to the cultural values, standards, and expectations, and men drive society along those lines.
  4. This blog is What Women Never Hear, not what men never hear. Men don’t listen to men about how to handle or deal with women. If women don’t exemplify what they expect out of men, then men follow their competitive and often combative nature that women resent so easily.
  5. The sexes are born such that each individual seeks to get his or her way associating with others. It makes competition the most universal motivator. Except for sex before conquest, men have little or no use of women who compete with them. When women get their way all the time according to female expectations, men lose interest in providing/protecting, raising children, and staying with one woman.
  6. Women gain the superior edge in society by using morality, religion, pre-conquest sex, and marriage to tame and harness men to female expectations without emasculating them.
  7. Women do what’s right based on what they believe. Men do what’s right based on what they figure out will satisfy them the best. Blame cancels masculine interest for believing that women could be more right than he.
  8. When the dominant gender becomes mesmerized by feminine ability, aptitude, and astuteness, dominance dissolves beneath an canopy of female superiority.
  9. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera….

Your last sentence is one-sided and exclusively blames men: “Those [middle age and senior without wedding ring] women get fed up, divorce, and live a better quality of life.”

To which I make it two-sided by inserting and bolding the blanks. “Those women get fed up because they can’t get husbands to change to meet wifely expectations, initiate divorce in order to save face and more realistically discredit him, and live a better quality of life by demeaning him, by calling single life high quality to cover her disappointment or embarrassment, and to hide her disenchantment of life without her man.”

Summarized, modern women continue to lose the ability to get what they want out of men. Blame, demand, and political pressure get results, but not what women wish they had from about middle age onward.

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2803. Tenth Anniversary and Happy Thanksgiving


Today marks the tenth anniversary of this blog plus a time to celebrate all for which we are grateful.

I thank all of you who regularly read here. Also, gratitude continues to accumulate in batches of various sizes for all those ladies and gentlemen who react, respond, and even question me where clarity is lacking or objection exists. Your questions fuel my thoughts and satisfy me with myself. Thanks particularly for that.

I wish everyone a great day of finding new ways for appreciating the gratitude in your life. It’s also a day of Thanksgiving in the American custom, and I wish all a happy experience.

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2783. Warriors Rape! Why?


Her Highness Beloved inspired this post as follow on to 2782 – Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?

She asks, “I was wondering how so many men who would never dream of raping in their hometowns could become such animals when in a war situation.”

I’m not sure this assumption is correct. “…men who would never dream of raping in their hometowns…” I think many dream of it, and it highlights what follows.

Imagine that we’re talking about a 30-year old adult male who was born just now. Hasn’t lived a day in this world. He’s as innocent as an infant. What does his psyche look like with regard to rape?

He’s born lacking in self-love that women inherit in huge amounts. So, he’s not able to love someone who hasn’t earned his respect. Women live by love, men live by respect.

Men are born full of self-respect, which enables them to respect others who earn it. If not earned, he’s free to treat them for his best advantage. In the male psyche, it translates into his not having to live up to anyone else in order to keep himself satisfied with himself. He needs no supreme being or code of conduct to guide his behavior with others. To the newborn adult imagined above, religion, morality, and love are foreign to his thinking—until and unless taught otherwise as his future unfolds in childhood.

With little or no interest in living up to someone else or something bigger than himself, a conscience isn’t present. It doesn’t develop until and unless he’s taught to be guided by high levels of right and wrong and domestic and social standards in childhood. IOW, he becomes pressured to respect and live up to the expectations of those around him, where his respect of others is fashioned around the discipline of authority figures.

At birth, men inherit their unique, strongest, and lifelong motivational force. They are energized to spread their seed. However, each man lacks the internal guidance to do other than get what he wants, follow his will, live in the present.

As described above, the male psyche is not wired against rape, which is an extension of getting his way in the process of spreading seed. Women, given the power to do so, make rape subject to female-friendly values, social standards, and legal discipline, which men learn as toddlers and beyond.

——

Let’s switch the scene from birth to childhood life and imagine a scale to measure effectiveness of parental teaching that indirectly discourages the urge to rape. No longer an infant, children are exposed to religious values, morality, conscience development, respect for opposite sex, and respect of self-discipline. Imagine this scale to ID potential rapists: 10 = children taught the highest quality on those five criteria. 5 = children taught some but not close to high quality about those five criteria. 0 = children largely ignored about teaching those five criteria.

Tens don’t rape. Fives think of it at home but don’t rape until in war. Zeros rape in their hometown. The male nature says rape is okay; females teach them not. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame boys with lures about marriage, bachelorettes lure men into marriage, and wives domesticate men to help her live in the future. Done well by most females, rape becomes a minimalized problem.

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2782. Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?


Her Highness Magnolia inspired this long overdue post.

Q. Her question: “In WWNH you describe our nature “in the raw.” I have a question about men. Does a man in [his male nature] believe that he has a right to a woman’s body (any woman, even a stranger) that he can do as he pleases?”

A. Yes it’s embedded as a sprig of male dominance, but don’t read too much into it. The most likely outcome lies with your term “believe.” Men believe what they figure out better than what they are told. Modern men are told legally and politically that they have no uninvited access to the female body. Belief spreads from the pressures.

Much more importantly, however, his so-called ‘right’ is susceptible to the influence of the superior gender, which has more than enough ability to neutralize it. Men are dominant, but in the world of competition before a man conquers a woman, men are vulnerable to relationship expertise and female determination about right and wrong. That is, before individual conquests, women reign with control of what men want the most.

It’s much easier to believe than what women tell men in legal and political terms. In a unique contrast, men have the physical and mental strength to get their way. But women gang up and get their way by making men dance the female tune, namely he has no inherent right to a woman’s body.

But once she yields conquest, he reigns and she has no authority left to compete on the matter. She learns to cooperate and hopes he will treat her rightly. With conquered women who learn to cooperate, men have less reason to enforce their way. They lean more toward cooperation and more easily follow female expectations.

——

Each sex has only one distinctly different, inborn, lifetime, and primal urge that constantly pressures men and women to interact together. Combined and with little else, those two motivational forces are capable of perpetuating the species,which seems to be a necessary outcome whether designed by God or and sought by Nature.

Men are born with the motivational appetite to spread their seed. Particulars aren’t specified, just spread it. Women inherit mother love upon giving birth, which is the primal urge to care for the children that result from males spreading their seed. Again particulars aren’t specified as we are all free will individuals. Thus, without other motivational drives, homo sapiens is perpetuated in the simplest fashion. It’s a self-perpetuating ‘human engine’ and little else is needed;  men screw, women nurse, and life continues.

Both sexes are born with free will and the desire to get their way among others. This is the chicken: Competitive fires are fueled by mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and wives getting their way by dissuading men from doing as they please with females. This is the egg: Men yield to female expectations in exchange for what females have and women are willing to trade for civilization, peace, and help raising kids.

With that behind us, your question can be answered with common sense. Does the urge to conquer women authorize men to have their way? Yes! In the absence of civilized order and peace, how else can a man be effective, live out his primary purpose in life?

To change Yes to No is the perfect invitation. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, wives domesticate husbands, and all females rein in male aggression, train men, and expect men to provide and protect against always getting their own way with females. Men are conditioned to accept no access rights, because they are rewarded with frequent and convenient sex at the discretion of individual females.

IOW, all women have a say in preventing men from having their way with females.We call it civilization. Society is what we do. Culture is why we do what we do. Consequently, either women reign over cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide all of us, or men have their way even with strangers. It’s a great master plan that women have to bring down to the individual level. Unfortunately for modern females, old school did it better than nowadays.

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