Category Archives: Culture & Politics

2551. Dominant vs. Governing Sex

My hubris continues. Having created a dominant sex in man, God (or Nature if it pleases you) needs a counterbalance. Without it women would be subject to the will and physicality of men at all times with no way out. So, I spotlight the highly significant difference that changes the advantage to women.

Compared to men, women are endowed with a special expertise in relationship matters. Each woman is blessed with unique talent, skill, and motivational energy to both compete sufficiently well with men before marriage and induce one of them to cooperate with her afterward.

By building and guiding relationships in which women are able to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver male dominance, success makes female the governing sex. Unique expertise enables a woman to convince a man to yield his independence on her behalf and spend the rest of his days with her at his side. That is no simple feat.

Women are born with that ability but modern women act contrary to their nature and, for many, are unable to capture and keep a man for any lengthy period.

Either instinctively from birth or intuitively from life, women know to keep their superior ability secret from men. Many females suspect it, many know it, but wise ones keep it to themselves.

Men dodge the possibility that female is the governing gender; they proceed with the firm conviction that dominance can win over whatever else women may bring to the relationship table. A man can have his way when he needs it, period. Wise women do not quibble but find ways to overcome or maneuver in spite of male physicality and outside of their dominance.

Note this connection. Dominant suggests action in the short-term to demonstrate the ability to rule or reign over the long haul; action perhaps even without thought. Governing ability suggests wisdom comes before action, that the long-term is more important than the short-term, which plays well to fulfill a woman’s primal need. That is, fulfill a brighter future than she faces at any given moment.

Taking the wiser approach enables women to work their governing talents and skills in background mode. At the same time, they can escape or wiggle out of dominant pressure they do not like.

She can get her way by using indirectness, seed planting, and patience to urge her competitive husband to be more cooperative. With her free will and wisdom combined, she has little trouble being submissive in order to ultimately get her way as relationship manager. Without developing her ability to use those options, she finds it difficult to generate harmony in the home.

Men want and take advantage of domestic harmony, but only women produce and sustain it.


Natural Law: Cleavage and exotic apparel focus a man’s thoughts on sex first and foremost. Modest turtle-neck, vanity-neat sweater, up tight and pointy breasts, thin- waist girly shape,  and even moo-moos force a man to think about her first, what he wants to see, and perhaps a silent message that he’s not qualified to see it. Her appearance purposely pushes sex into the background and gives her greater ability to control whatever relationship they develop.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2850. Gotta Change My Mind Again

For some months or years I’ve been calling the female the superior sex. It’s close but not accurate enough. Hereafter, I will call it the governing gender.  Governance within relationships, couples, and marriages is more functional, easier for women to grasp the meaning and men to accept, and less argumentative than is ‘superior’. Guy is my name, clarity is my game.


Natural Law: Females capture and keep a man with everything else but sex; success is far more who she is and what she does than what she has or was. So females waste time, waste feminine effort, mislead men, and relinquish the driver’s seat when they attract with sex or program themselves to be sexy.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she loses, Sociology 101

2847. Modern Gal’s Game Plan

You modern gals need a plan to take better charge of your own lives. You need a game plan. I’m just the guy to lay it out, but you have to implement the details to the satisfaction of those who pursue you.

Objective: Keep a man pursuing you long enough for him to at least propose or break off, hopefully the former if he’s proven himself worthy of you.

Strategy: A man wants to marry a virtuous woman, and each finds virtue in the qualities he admires in one woman. The more unique qualities you display, the harder a guy seeks to get you in bed, because the accumulation of your virtues make you more worthy and unique in his eyes.

Mission: Be attractively different from all the other gals, but more traditional,   mysterious, and modest than modern. (A gal’s strongest suits for keeping a man under control are her modesty, mystery, and vanity.)

If other gals hang with or act like guys, don’t. If they pursue guys, don’t. If they kiss on first date, don’t. If they crave marriage, don’t. If they go for making out, don’t. If they talk up sex, don’t. If they go out with guys without a date, don’t. If other gals are so fearful of losing what they have, don’t be like that. There are many other behaviors in the social marketplace that the smart gal drops from her habits to make herself stand out. The more unique but not radical, the better.

The way to a modern man’s heart is not through his stomach; it’s through his ego. So, focus there.

Listen better than you ever have before. Keep silent, pay attention! No full disclosure; in fact, no disclosure about yourself. Make him earn everything he finds out about you. Volunteer nothing. He has to pursue you to find out about you. Otherwise, why should he waste time with your disclosing yourself?

Men believe what they figure out, and not what they are told. So, if he isn’t figuring you out, he won’t stay long. He should never know exactly who and what you are until he’s been married to you for a dozen or so years. Mystery makes female worthiness soar.

Encourage his descriptions of who he is; what he does in mind, body, and spirit; how he’s out to conquer his world; and what he can provide to you if you’ll just join him in bed. If you’ve done your other techniques properly, he will keep the part about the bed in background, hints maybe. If he gets obvious about bedtime, you bring up marriage. Make it a habit; he wants to talk about sex, you change the subject gently but firmly. Repeat it enough and he’ll soon learn that the subject makes you uncomfortable.

A man learns to respect the gal who listens to him, and his respect is essential for his love to develop. The longer she refuses deep passion and keeps her legs crossed, the more his respect grows. Of course, everyone recognizes her biggest problem is to keep him in pursuit while being denied sex with her.

She has only one alternative. She abstains for reasons that register above herself in this life. She’s lives up to somebody or thing far above her but which hardens her belief system: parents, God, Bible, moral imperative.  Even expectant husband, but she should never declare that; it kills hope in the pursuer.  (The blog series Virtual Virginity covers at length how to strengthen one’s belief system to promote abstinence until marriage.)

As much, as often, and as clearly as practicable, teach him to please you. Repetitive pleasing of you becomes habit with him, and becomes devotion when he learns that pleasing you pleases him even more.

You will run into the guy who is only after sex, and it will be clear in his approach. First, he’s not after you but sex with you. Second, dismiss him quickly. If you’re no more valuable than your sexual assets, how will you ever escape being a sex object?

I propose dating and courtship should follow the plan above.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she wins

2846, Love is Never Enough — 13: A Mixture of What Works

I’m always making lists. I made the following as spillovers of female goodness and don’t know what to do except post it. Women can’t relate well enough to know how to use it, but each item makes a favorable impact on the male nature and keeping a husband.

  1. She doesn’t expect more from him than she extends herself. She’s the major giver, and he’s the major taker until he learns that he enjoys caring and pleasing her pleases him, and his behavior shifts toward her favor.
  2. Her almost perpetual smiling countenance suggests all is well with her so it must be okay with him. It also helps confirm the sincerity of her love.
  3. Her lack of complaining suggests all is well with him. His shortcomings are typically identified that way, or so he interprets her complaints (explained in footnote*).
  4. Her excitement about sex with him is far superior to his enjoyment of the frequent and convenient availability of it. As romantic love and his sex drive fade, reminders of her excitement adds much sincerity to her expressions of love.
  5. Her sense of charity keeps her from criticizing, yelling, or otherwise getting in his face to make her points.
  6. Her delightful attitude makes her man smile, because she’s energized by that spirit.
  7. Her faith in self and him as couple tends to weld them together.
  8. Her frequent evidence of trust of him energizes his greater respect of her.
  9. Her frequent but not smothering expressions of love seal her likeability to him.
  10. Her female goodness sets a shining example to all they contact.
  11. Her ability to manage their relationship satisfies him that he chose the right woman.
  12. Her affection for him, if not overdone, amplifies her likeability without boring him.
  13. Her chaste behavior promotes his belief that she’s mostly loyal and, therefore, faithful.
  14. Her faithfulness and trust inspires him to follow her example.
  15. Her gentleness invites him to seek comfort with her.
  16. Her habitual neatness displays attractive standards and inspires others to be more like her. Not necessarily the same neatness but copy her other qualities. By inspiring others to copy her, his admiration and respect for her grow.
  17. Her hope brightens their future together.
  18. Her joyful cheeriness inspires greater hope and suppresses many urges he may have to quit her for work or someone else.
  19. Her modest, mysterious, and feminine nature confirms that she’s unique from other women.
  20. Her modest display of her body and discouragement of flirting symbolizes fidelity to him.
  21. Her open endorsement of chastity and monogamous love confirms her loyalty as part of their role together.
  22. Her patience calms the waters of frustration for her and him.
  23. Her physical attractiveness keeps his eyes focused on her more than others.
  24. Her steadfastness of character as strong person prevents her complaining.
  25. Her strength of character earns his admiration.
  26. Her thoughtfulness displays her gratitude for others, especially him.
  27. Her trust in him promotes his belief in her.
  28. Her unselfishness spreads as a character quality that he admires.
  29. Her eagerness to listen to him reinforces his respect of her.
  30. Her personal selfishness is removed from their lives, as soon as he picks up on her indirect promotion of being generous as a couple.
  31. Her receptiveness to his ideas without finding fault confirms his worth to her. (If and when execution of a plan of his threatens failure, she must be absolutely certain before she competes to get her way. Even then it’s dangerous for them as a couple.)
  32. Her respect of him energizes greater trust of her.
  33. She becomes a better woman by living up to someone higher than herself—law, God, and her mate—in high hopes that she will become a better woman and, without her applying pressure, he will become a better man.
  34. She carries a happy spirit that spreads infectiously and uplifts his spirits.
  35. She confirms her strong sense of cooperation by submitting when its appropriate, and thus confirms his leadership role.
  36. She finds such gratefulness in herself that he likes himself for just being with her.
  37. She hints that his worth goes up in her eyes when he does good things for her and others.
  38. She keeps the body shape that he proposed to so that he doesn’t tire of changes in her appearance.
  39. She promotes her sexual attractiveness discretely but modestly and solely for his enjoyment.
  40. She tries extra hard to forget his faults that she more easily forgives.
  41. She finds a way to develop enduring love as romantic love fades away in a year or two.
  42. Finally, and most importantly, she keeps him satisfied with himself that he chose properly by teaming up with her. (When she does that, she earns the privilege of getting her way in many other matters such as managing home and relationship.)

Those female behaviors have beneficial effects on husbands and promote a couple’s staying together. If she can’t live that way, can’t form such habits, she at least needs enough of something other than her love that makes her man satisfied with himself living with her.

If he’s not a better man for involving himself with her, she’s not doing things to fortify their togetherness. In which case, she’s not the good woman that a satisfied husband brags about mostly behind her back or mostly late in life. If he can’t be proud of her as mate, he can’t be satisfied that she’s the right woman for him.


*Regarding explanation of item 3. In the back of husband’s mind is the conviction that he’s responsible for the marriage. But he turns operation of the home and relationship management over to wife. Now, if she complains, she must not be able to handle her affairs of heart and home, and so he’s left to be responsible. Her complaints land as guilt in his mind, and men don’t handle guilt very well. In fact, they mostly shun or forget it, and her complaints just make her look bad.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, marriage, The mind

2842. God’s Design—02: Promote Success for the Species

We all act in ways that show Nature’s random evolution or God’s design, and I prefer to call it the latter. The sexes are born alike but yet learn to differ in life.

Both sexes are born to get their way in most matters of life and especially when associating with others. It’s evident in toddlers. It makes competition the root of all interpersonal action until each person learns how and when to defer to others. It also makes politics an integral part of man-woman relationships. Until that is, women learn after marriage their political blanket covers a brighter future for their hopes and dreams, if in exchange they let husband’s decisions govern present-day happenings.

We are all born to live as couples. Too many benefits accrue to both sexes out of a well-blended couple and well-managed relationship. The burden is on individuals to promote joining up as couples, but men lack much in the way of helping and sometimes even participating in that process. Women are born to be processors; men are born to be producers. Relationship maintenance is a process and is, therefore, the woman’s responsibility because she has all the expertise. He produces beneficial results on the sideline, and she integrates his effort to the satisfaction of both.

The female sex is born as the superior sex. She knows instinctively that it’s unwise to brag about it, to throw it up in the face of male dominance. Yet, females have all the talent, skill, and political expertise to manage a man-woman relationship to success as a couple. Men are simply not capable. Women, OTOH, have an innate ability to outwit, outsmart, or outmaneuver a man whenever she feels the need to do so. Intuition alerts her to never brag of it.

The male sex is born dominant and has physical and mental strength to enforce dominance at each man’s will. Other than that, however, males have virtually no other strengths to make a relationship survive as a successful couple. As to the bacon that husbands bring home, if wife doesn’t integrate his work and him into a well-managed relationship, they may not last together. If couple-hood is to be, it is up to her.

Females are born to be good; males are born with the ability but lack incentive to do good. It’s why the female gender is superior, and where females fit in the life of each male, boy or grown. More tomorrow.

We are designed from the beginning to be good people and live successfully as couples. Men are only partially included, because females—moms, girls, singles, aunties, and grannies—have to turn males into producers of goodness, kindness, and compatibility in order to live successfully as couples. If girls and women don’t or can’t, men live so independently that women lose their advantage as superior gender. Does modern culture come to mind?

Of course, we often talk about the bad, mean, and even the evil side of humanity. In most instances, however, those traits are more the result of poor upbringing than birth, aka lessons learned in life. (I’ve written a lot on bringing up children to bring out the good side and produce mature adults rather than good children.)

Thus, success as humans is founded on the following traits. Each wants his way, one sex is dominant but the other superior, one sex is born to be good and the other capable of it, and the merger of all of those traits under the coaching and governance of females pushes the sexes into living successfully as couples.


NATURAL LAW: A man’s beliefs are founded on what he figures out for himself much more than what he is told by others.




Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, sex differences


It’s a self-defeating cycle of dying interest. Living almost as a hermit, I get fewer comments and questions from readers and have less to respond about modern people and how they are motivated. Reacting to keep my mind functioning, I spend more time on articles that have little to do with your lives in the relationship trenches.

I don’t know the answer, but I’m running out of steam. May I suggest that readers spend more time on older rather than newer articles. It may revitalize our comment activity and focus me more clearly on your lives on the battlefield.



Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, The mind

2840. God’s Design—01: Perpetuate the Species

I acknowledge the hubris. In specific terms, for example, I figured out how and why we are on planet Earth. Neither Nature’s random evolution nor God would place us here without the ability to perpetuate the species. Two motivational forces ensure preservation of the species, men have one and women the other, balanced.

Deeply embedded in the most primal, unconscious, and inaccessible part of the male mind is the unconquerable urge to have one-time sex with every attractive woman practicable, sometimes whether she’s willing or not. It lasts for life. (After first-time sex, all episodes that follow are motivated by the other male sex drive.)

Residing in the same primal part of the female mind is mother love. It’s a woman’s love on steroids, never questioned, never given anything but first priority over all else. It begins with giving birth and extinguishes only with her death.

Those two motivational forces perpetuate the species. Men plant their seed and women mother the results. All works well on the procreation scene, because the motivational forces come from unconscious parts of the human mind. Men and women without awareness or access to those urges get little opportunity to screw up the system.

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, sex differences