Category Archives: Dear daughter

Blog 2213 — Garden of Eden: Three Roots


Rooted who knows how far back in human history, men and women are born 1) willing and able to be compatible as mates, 2) with a dominant gender to drive the bus and a superior gender to indirectly guide the driver, and 3) with men enabled men to find satisfaction and women to pursue happiness.

1) Two Loves. The glue of compatibility starts with two very different forms of love that have to be bonded into an agreeable form, which is unattainable except under management of a relationship expert.

Her Love. Women expect to keep their mate by demonstrating their love with words and actions; it’s energized by their nature of loving to love someone. In return she expects him to display all manner of loving attention as she defines love—most prominently as displays of affection—which she transmutes into her importance in life.

His Love. Men expect to keep their mate through his loyalty to her and her likeability to him. In return he expects her to display actions—much more than words—that he interprets as her loyalty to him and his likeability to her.

IOW, he expects to receive the reverse of what he gives. She expects the same as what she gives. They differ fundamentally, which is why the glue of compatibility requires a relationship expert to get it to bond.

2) Superior Sex vs. Dominant Sex. On the macro scale of human behavior, we see a superior sex and irresistible force versus a dominant sex and immovable object. However, God designs the genders such that the immovable becomes moveable with irresistible female leveraging of sexual availability. That is, men do whatever women require in order for men to have frequent and convenient access to sex.

On the other hand, the irresistible female force becomes resistible under the influence of masculine strength to get what men want. Women do whatever men require in order for women to enjoy the fruits of manly producing, providing, protecting, and problem solving on behalf of women and children.

It’s a swap meet. Irresistible and immovable both yield voluntarily to reciprocal loyalty and likeability when surrounded by affirmation, accommodation, and affection. Consequently, their competing powers balance and cooperate to form compatibly successful relationships under management of relationship experts.

3) Two Opposites. Much unwarranted marital turmoil arises from this sex difference.

Her Happiness. Women are born to be happy but they have to earn it. She does it by making herself important to others, which returns to magnify her sense of self-importance and self-gratitude, which enables her to find more ways to be important and grateful, which is her main pathway to happiness. The more grateful she is, the happier she is.

His Satisfaction. Men are born to be satisfied but they have to earn it. Unfortunately as women see it, men earn satisfaction at their work. Hence, daily parking of himself after work with TV, beer, and clicker while she continues working till bedtime in order to keep herself feeling important and grateful.

You can see evidence daily of how Feminism, politics, and pop culture combine to rip the heart from those three ancient roots of human behavior. 1) Men are never affectionate enough for women. Women purposely make themselves unlikeable to men by getting in their man’s face arguing to get their way. 2) Women give away sexual favors, which removes the primary incentive that causes men to provide and protect a woman and her children. 3) Women are overworked because men do nothing after their workday ends and all the associated ‘crimes’ that flow from that concept of the female being thus victimized.

Oh, well, that’s enough complaining. We still have the historic background for compatibility for couples, counterbalancing gender powers, satisfaction for men, and happiness for women. The roots linger in the hearts of many women, but so few are standing up for it out of fear of feminist condemnation.

3 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter, sex difference

2212. Hits: Let’s Quit


On further review, the material I have left on hits is redundant. So, I won’t bore you with it.

However, an informative replacement read. The following was referred to me by Lauren, the main participant in the series “WWNH: Real World,” to whom I’m grateful.

All women, especially wives, may benefit from it. If not for their present relationship, they may better understand what many divorced men more than likely went through.

The author takes her own giant leap out of the feminist cauldron that breeds disrespect of husbands. http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter, How she loses

2211. Hits: Graciousness Wins Respect


Females are both complimented and blessed when men hit on them.

Your physical attractiveness is complimented by his motivation to hit on you rather than someone else. So, what does ‘blessed’ mean in this context? Each hit is a perfect opportunity to promote who and what you are to both yourself and others. Specifically, to earn more respect from other people and thus promote your agenda with more of their goodwill.

More importantly, it provides opportunity to embellish the respect of others for you as person, woman, and your other roles in life. Example: Dignity adds respect to persons. Standing up to stronger sex adds respect to weaker sex. You earn both self-respect and respect of others by assertively (not aggressively) defending your social status, standing, and preferences (married, independent, picky about associates, discreet about sexual matters, sensitive against pushiness, prejudiced against men who don’t know uninvited hit from pleasant approach).

Being a pushover to men on almost any matter is to lose respect or opportunity to gain more. You won’t like this, but saying “I love you” so early in the relationship game and so often before marriage suggests you’re a pushover. Eat those words, make him earn them. Expressing your feelings makes you feel good, of course, but in the long run respect is more important to keep a relationship going.

Relative to men, women can’t have too much respect. It’s the counterbalance to male dominance. That’s why feminine mystery, female modesty, self-centered vanity, and insistent monogamy work so well. Indirectly, those traits let a woman stand up inside and politely strengthen her will against a man’s will. Being so indirect, she doesn’t push any buttons that might offend him. To him, that’s just the way she is—shrouded in mystery, modest to a fault, vain beyond belief, faithful unnecessarily. When those traits are developed and improved at the mirror, she more easily earns additional respect, which means better foundation for a guy’s love.

Did you get that point? Mirror time leads to better love by some man.

You deserve to be blessed but you have to earn it in today’s social scene. As already proposed in earlier posts, a mighty breakthrough awaits you ladies who fear or resent hits especially from ‘undesirables’. It’s a garden path walk into much greater respect for you as person, woman, and all those other things that you are and do. In effect graciousness dealing with ‘undesirables’ (for your life) sells you as highly respectable person. Observers note that they also deserve at least your graciousness, which is an indirect compliment to them, which adds to their respect of you.

I know you neither want to be told how to handle hitters or to change to something you view as fearful or too difficult for your spirit as woman. But you can’t enjoy more of life’s potential advantages unless you change your game plan.

Consequently, its more reason you ladies should welcome all hits and should teach yourselves to gain all the benefits available.

Reminder: Welcome every hit and treat every hitter exactly the same. Hottie, undesirable, or weirdo, exactly the same. In the face of tough times of what to do next, especially those times that discombobulate most people, a woman’s graciousness shines brighter than her attractiveness.

We’re not done with hits; the interconnections are almost endless, but you’ll have to put up with some repetition necessary to sustain the context each time. More tomorrow.

4 Comments

Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, sex difference

2206. Compatibility Axioms #741-750


741. He can’t be successful to himself, if others see him weakened by his wife. His competitors are outside the home. Her dominant attitude can’t be missed there. [255]

742. The sexual pleasures for a woman are outweighed by the other things she needs for a happy life. Men have other interests too and for the most part let sex substitute for whatever is missing. [255]

743. When she makes herself worthy of a man by easily or readily providing sex, it doesn’t matter much if she’s pretty and attractive. Sloppy or comfortable will work for her, but it adds nothing to his reputation for having a good looker. It diminishes her worth as keeper. [255]

744. When you think men are only after one thing, your adolescent side shows. You primarily attract adultolescent men, and they fulfill your prophecy. Mature men figure you offer little else than sex, and they treat you accordingly. [258]

745. Virtual virginity is your best strategy to distinguish mature from immature men. [258]

746. Mature men devote themselves to what they perceive as a good woman, because they seek the pride of fatherhood. Adultolescent men think short term, dislike obligations, have little interest in new responsibility, usually look for another ‘looker’, and promise commitment that has very short legs. [258]

747. You should take advantage of your strengths and give him the appearance of your submissiveness to the man of the house. His perception is reality, and this means whatever he perceives satisfies him. You are far better equipped than he to work out the details to your advantage.[258]

748. A woman’s soft-hearted nature should be reserved for husband and kids. Her hard-headed nature is much more beneficial to her in dating and courtship. Soft-heartedness makes it easier to call a man worthy of her, which makes her vulnerable to join sisters in ex country. Easy to conquer, easy to leave. [260]

749. He cheats on her, so she cheats on him. The former hurts her, the latter terminates their relationship. [260]

750. Women abandon femininity, modesty, high moral standards, and other female strengths just to have a boyfriend or husband they can’t keep. [260]

7 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female

2205. Compatibility Axioms #731-740


  1. Loose and shapeless bras and sweats provide comfort, but unadvertised assets generate little curiosity. If she has no incentive to show herself off to the max, then he figures his max will not be required. So, she starts off in the hole. [253]
  2. Women dress erotically to capture a man. They attract attention and may be taken off the shelf and even taken home. But eroticism promotes sex, not loyalty for the whole product. [253]
  3. A keeper advertises and packages herself to keep sex in the background, because that keeps male minds focused on her star quality. [253]
  4. Cleavage draws a man’s eyeballs downward and his thoughts to nestling there. Good advertising works! Does the rest of her appearance sell her for much beyond sex? [253]
  5. Modern females make sloppy, careless, and slovenly fashionable. They slouch a lot as men do. They do this although men feast with their eyes, and husbands expect a wife they are proud to show off. [253]
  6. There will be never enough money until you have so much that ‘enough’ is never thought of. [254]
  7. Control of money will always be more important than amount available. It requires a decision process. We call it the pain that heals, or simply ‘budgeting’. [254]
  8. The budgeting process keeps a couple focused on improving their lives. With the force of self-imposed rules, it pushes them to do in the present what they need for their future. [254]
  9. Feminism promotes ‘get in his face’ as the way to protect a woman’s interests. It nullifies her natural strength for shaping a man’s behavior. [255]
  10. Men don’t voluntarily abandon the hormonal urge of being a man. But they enlarge their roles in life when coached to do so by one woman. Since improvement requires a man to change, respect is her key to the operating room, submissiveness her surgical instrument. [255]

1 Comment

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, How she wins

2204. Compatibility Axioms #721-730


721. Feminism encourages women to value themselves individually, as men do. Femininity encourages women to value themselves as part of a couple, as Nature endows them. [250]

722. If her ex is going to be any different than he was in their first marriage, he needs to respect her more than before. Only that will make him favorably different and virtual virginity earns additional respect. [250]

723. Immature women expect that exchanging intimate knowledge with a man, especially sexual activity, will enable them to capture and hopefully keep a man. Nature works quite the opposite. [252]

724. Men appreciate what they pay for, and the more dearly they pay, the greater their appreciation. Pay, that is, with their interest, focus, time, manners, sacrifice, energy, laughter, fun, games, promises, mistakes, affection, commitment, politeness, devotion, and especially worry about losing her. [252]

725. Not knowledge but a man’s imagination keeps him interested in a woman. The promise of what lies ahead with her keeps her glued into his self-interest. [252]

726. From flirtation to conquest, each step completed along the way satisfies his knowledge but shifts a man’s curiosity to the next plateau of learning. The more he has to earn his way to each step, the more desirable she becomes. The longer she defers conquest, the more worthy she becomes. [252]

727. Mature women see a man’s energy turned to her as more important than his knowledge of her, desiring her as more important than having her, imagining her as more important than knowing her. [252]

728. If he wonders why she acts resistant to his come on, his imagination shifts toward finding out. If she’s not understandable, his imagination shifts toward her character and what motivates her. If character and motivation are mysterious, he becomes determined to explore her more deeply. [252]

729. Feminine mystique is all about creating curiosity and satisfying it ever so slowly. Her need for modesty, intimacy, and privacy stimulate his imagination to know more about her. [252]

730. Women could do better with this strategy: Generate maximum curiosity and satisfy it the least. Exploit manly curiosity to trigger masculine imagination. It works much better than making herself knowable and known without his having paid much in dedication, effort, and self-worry. [252]

5 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, sex difference

2202. Respect: The Lady’s Side


It’s very common. Everyone proclaims they respect others. But too much shortage exists or relationships of every kind would be better.

You have to live with men and hopefully with one successfully. Without respecting them, it ain’t gonna happen. Real men have no use for anyone, women especially, who disrespect them or fail to show the respect they expect. (Check out the Manosphere by Eric in tomorrow’s post.)

Showing respect begins with first encounter. Perhaps contrary to your intent, flirting does not show respect; it just shifts any man’s interest to sex and diverts his attention away from your appeal as possible mate. Not terminal but not beneficial either. (See footnote about first encounters.)

Dating and courtship exist to enable you to display and prove your respect of men. Why? Because men won’t pay attention to you (except for sex) until they see signs of respect. Or stay with you unless well respected. Each date and courtship event together is another opportunity for you.

Your respect for a man unlocks the door to his ambitions (aka emotions to you) and his intentions (aka pursuit to you). Doesn’t mean he’s all that interested, but without you unlocking the door he stays fixated on sex or turns elsewhere.

Detecting your respect, he can then offer up his loyalty and his likeability to you. It’s his gift; he lets you see him in all his masculine glory, aka his vision of being lovable and just right for you. He seeks to earn your loyalty and enjoy your likeability, aka his interpretation of love. He’s not looking for love as you express it and expect to see yours matched. He’s intent on convincing you of his worthiness either for you or for sex. To keep him focused away from sex is to keep him focused on you as possible mate.

Other than that, you have little to do with relationship development except to make yourself more loyal and likeable in his eyes, which means to let your respect grow for him. You should be yourself and not interfere with his presenting what he offers—unless he turns you off. (Sex excluded, of course, as it definitely interferes.)

If he’s not loyal and likeable to you, he’s not good enough. Measure him by those factors; he measures you by them. They’re what he’s selling and figures you will buy.

Originating at birth, your primal motivational force is to earn a sense of your importance. Successful relationships begin by respecting the male gender and one special man. (If you don’t respect the gender, your man too often in your mind becomes one of ‘them’.) Your showing respect is both action and accomplishment that confirms to your heart that you’re important as a person, sweetheart, girlfriend, woman, friend, mate, or wife, which energizes you to make yourself even more important to others.

Women don’t need respect as men do. In early stages of relationships, you rely more on instinct, intuition, and infatuation. From that base you do things to please both your man and yourself. Pleasing him confirms your importance to yourself and hopefully to him. Pleasing yourself programs your heart with the appropriateness of what you do. IOW, the more you do for him, the more you love him. Your heart won’t let you invest yourself without figuratively patting you on the head and saying Well Done, young lady.

Women should pay more attention to this natural paradox. The more respect you show to a man, the less feedback you need to confirm your importance. (Funny how that works, isn’t it? God knew what He was doing.) Moreover, the more you respect yourself, think mirror time, the more you’re able to respect others. It also means that the more mirror time, the less you need others to sustain your spirit and morale.

Blame weakens respect. The more that women blame men, individually and collectively, the less that men sense womanly respect, which weakens manly respect for both female gender and individuals, which weakens masculine love of women, which makes men more self-centered, which brings out their aggressive side, which turns them toward violence and victimizing females. It all starts with the finger of blame pointed at men because women seek to change them and they refuse to change as women expect it.

Men, OTOH, try to offer up their loyalty and likeability in exchange for the same from women, but women won’t accept them as is, which means they don’t respect them as is, which means that men don’t much care what happens after that.

If you want to be respected and loved by a man, he must be respected, and you are in charge of that regardless of how unrespectable you view his behavior. You always have the option of not respecting him with the consequence that you lose whatever love he has for you. It’s easily proved with the finger of blame.

When women individually and collectively demonstrate respect, men quit blaming women and learn to follow the female lead. They fall in line with whatever values and standards women impose and religiously expect, such as strong sense of family responsibility.

After paying the price of respecting him, you only need to decide if his loyalty and likeability can be made mutual with your expectations while he determines the same thing. That’s the shortest version of relationship development.

By using respect as your empowering first principle, you are naturally prepared to generate mutual loyalty and likeability and thus develop compatible if not fully successful relationships. It works as surely in dating and courtship as it used to work all across American society.

——

**First encounter may well be a man’s hitting on you. It’s a compliment that you have either sex or mating appeal. You get to choose to listen or not. Listening sends a message of respect, which I propose. Refusal sends the opposite.

You listen, smile, and show interest in what he says. You let him hold your attention—preferably eyeball to eyeball to confirm your courage—while he presents himself for you to consider buying what he says. Do the same earnestly, sincerely, and habitually with all men. Then make your decision each time.

If it’s beyond a polite self-introduction, say a bold hit, then listen and get bolder to reject him. Bold but not insulting rejection—after listening sincerely—adds to your respect for him and his gender. Your anger or rapid escape to avoid listening to his compliment shows disrespect for both him and his gender. It also may lead you away from some good men who are sincere in the compliment that is the foundation for their hit.

15 Comments

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex difference