Category Archives: Dear daughter

2353. 8th Anniversary Vacation

November 23 completes eight years of WWNH. Over 2.4 million hits, and a million words posted in the articles plus those added to your comments. They’ve been good years for me. I hope the same for you. Unfortunately, except for a few reports, relationship success is not yet as good as I hoped. Not quitting yet, though.

If I’ve touched lives, this is my favorite. A gal first commented in June 2008 (in college). She has interacted over the years with others and me. I can’t find the details now, but in order for a guy to become her boyfriend, she imposed demands to forgo his partying and develop his scholastic ability, or she was no girlfriend of his. He did, they graduated, eventually married. She probably recognizes her story, and perhaps she’ll let us know if they’re living happily ever after. She has been such a continual delight to chat with and exchange thoughts. I’m hopeful her WWNH education was more valuable than Dartmouth’s for her future life. Babies yet, darling?

As with hundreds of other readers, comments inspire expansion of many principles and clarification of my thoughts. I learn much from you all and especially those with questions. Love all of you; wish we could meet face to face.

I depart tomorrow for a trip that will last 14-15 days. Going to pay respects to friends and family in three states farther west.

I have and want no laptop. I’ll respond to comments and questions when I return in early December. So, you can keep asking. I may, however, drop in every few days if I find a friendly keyboard.

While I’m gone, mull over what I can do to improve the blog. Interest seems to be waning and I’d like to give it a rejuvenating jolt when I return. Married to a beautiful redhead for 59 years and married to the U.S. Navy for 23 years, I never learned to handle boredom. Don’t want it to set in on the blog.

I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. Grace’s family invited me to theirs and it makes me feel kingly. Good people are great; good friends are greater, good family is greatest.

I’m in the Dallas-DFW area the weekend after Thanksgiving. If you would like to meet, I’ll be lunching at PFChang’s in Grapevine on Saturday at noon and PFChang’s on North Dallas Tollway Sunday at 1:00 pm. Visit if you care to; love to meet you.

Meanwhile, ponder these thoughts both for light-heartedness and a measure of reality. God gave chocolate to man so he could get the attention of woman. God told woman, don’t blame a man if you want to get and hold his attention.



Filed under Dear daughter, Uncategorized

2352. Tribute to the Female Nature — 07: How Women Lead

It’s the inborn nature of both genders to respect the other for its uniqueness, the potential that enables compatibility. Females do it instinctively but they have to forever remind males with their continuing and important presence—by effectively leading from behind.

Old school cause and effect sustained it. In fact, individuals of each gender respected the opposite more than their own. It significantly enhanced each person’s sense of personal responsibility, especially that of men for their families, which reduced blaming others.

Women respect other people without their having to earn it, which manifests as respect for the male gender. Men respect individuals who earn their respect.

However, men pay little attention to respecting the female gender except as circumstance and pressure require. Our grannies exploited that weakness with lady-like behavior that pressured men into more female-friendly gentlemanly behavior, which through their manly action spread respect across the female gender. (Not even men can do one thing and have opposite feelings, it’s mental ‘noise’ that renders one confused aka cognitive dissonance. Some way will be found to eliminate the confusion.)

When women generate and exploit respect, it enables and they quickly learn to lead from behind, which encourages their man to lead from the front. It works this way:

  • Women respect individuals until they turn unrespectful and undeserving. (Trust is another matter, but they tend to trust men until they detect a red flag, turn cautious, and grow suspicious.)
  • Men respect individual females according to their: 1) Resistance to yielding sexual assets for manly exploitation. 2) Willingness to stand up on their own behalf; defend themselves particularly against unjustified pressure applied by men. 3) Unnoticeably converting masculine effort into female advantage (aka ability to honorably outsmart men sufficiently well that men don’t resent or take offense.
  • Masculine respect also shows up this way. Husbands are willing to do what’s right so long as they know what’s right, can please their woman, but are neither blamed nor told how to do it. It translates to men allowing women to determine what’s right socially and domestically and men to follow so invisibly they don’t appear to be following in a female’s wake. )
  • Women act as ladies, which justifies their restricting the subject of sex to marital conditions and out of the public eye, which pressures men into finding other ways to broach the subject, which encourages men to become gentlemanly in order to have access to female recognition and acceptance as social equals, which makes it in the interest of men to consider marriage as the best alternative, which encourages them to marry to have frequent and convenient access to sex, which is made socially acceptable by women who put lady-like behavior ahead of just having a man, which enables ladies to govern social and domestic norms, which earns masculine respect for the female gender, which is part of the respect men must have for devotion to arise and for each to love one woman.
  • Ladies thus motivate men to respect the female gender far more than men do naturally, which is the direct result of women acting like ladies and expecting men to act as gentlemen (aka better than their nature, living up to something bigger than themselves such as each lady they encounter).
  • Our Judeo-Christian culture thus enabled our foremothers to utilize Christian love principles and earn greater respect for their gender. It was relatively easy when women unified under common values and standards rather than individually and multi-culturally. Mothers civilized boys to respect girls, who made teen boys mind their own business about sex. Bachelorettes invoked social rules that kept bachelors dependent on female decisions about socializing. Wives honored husbands for dependability, responsibility, and relationship survivability.

Only in the case of some of the smarter women do we see it today. They first give respect to all men, which conditions their thinking against blaming one man for all social and domestic ailments.

Just as God gave chocolate to men so women would pay attention, he gave women the option of not blaming men so men would pay attention. Those who can capture and hold the attention of the other are the momentary leaders.

It’s the simplest formula I can derive. Plenty of chocolate enables men to lead. Lack of blame enables women to lead. Any relationship needs both to function as leaders, but alternating in concert and not annoyance or resentment. Getting and holding attention comes second; respect comes first.



Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

2351. Tribute to the Female Nature — 06: Procreation Sacred

Her Highness MLaRowe at 2350 triggered this article with the claim: “[W]hat I have come to believe is that sex really is sacred. It is the act of creating a life whether a birth comes as a result or not.”

The following was written for a future article but I use it now to endorse her point. Sex is primarily for procreation and the more sacred it’s considered, the more compatible the couple.

Her Primal Sex Drive. Four natural energies bring sex into play in the woman’s world. The first three support original design of procreation.

  • Her physiological urge to nurture triggers the urge to procreate.
  • Her psychological need to assuage the needs of others stimulates her to copulate.
  • Her natural need for self-importance ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women to capture and mate with the best quality man, whom she seeks to ensure high quality offspring. Necessarily, because of the male nature, it usually involves sexual relations.
  • Her nature craves intimacy, especially when her spirits are down. The promise of pre- and post-coital touching and body closeness fuels her desire for sex.

But there’s more.

  • Women can have multiple orgasms, which encourage multiple attempts at insemination, which allows for fertilization to match the unpredictability of ovulation, which encourages her to remain with the man that she’s chosen as best to father and adequate at least to help care for her offspring.
  • The lure and ability of multiple orgasms compensates her discouragement at trying without success. It also appeals to the masculine ego, which provides or at least strengthens whatever glue tends to hold them together. OTOH, men need recovery time after orgasm; one ‘deposit’ is enough for now. He can move on or stay with her depending on his desire and her ability to hold him.

So, Nature makes it incumbent on woman to hold her man for repeated inseminations, when a man’s primal urge is to spread seed once and proceed on his way; others await his servicing.

Those primal urges motivate women to recognize the male sex drive as more urgently driven and to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women for the best men.

His Primal Sex Drive. Three natural urges bring sex into the man’s world. The first is the toughest that women ever try to tame. Earning his complete devotion is the only way too.

  • His physiological urge to copulate first time with every sexually attractive woman ends with conquest of each woman but the drive to conquer another lingers for life. Conqueror’s right both frees him to stay or drop her and entitles him to ‘own’ their sexual agenda.
  • His drive to compete—against Nature, other men, and to control human events—brings females onto the playing field in two classes: conquered and unconquered by him. He has an intrinsic urge to outdo and outshine other men with whatever females are available. The unconquered are pursued with diligence and the woman is always right to defend and fail to yield. The conquered are never right to refuse and accepted as ready for more at his call.
  • What we see as the ‘normal’ sex drive that men demonstrate with each conquered female, whether married or unmarried.

Those primal urges combine to make males compete with females for conquest but for little else afterward. Men accept female competition before conquest but only cooperation after that. Again, they are born that way.


MLaRowe points out that sex is or should be held up as sacred. The merit of it makes couples more compatible. We all become better people living up to someone or something higher or bigger than ourselves. Elevating sex to sacred—and only women can do it—has this effect: Partners live up to each other rather than themselves even when sex-for-pleasure is the ruling objective. No intent to imply, of course, that sex is only for procreation.

Compatibility grows when each partner is out to please the other and lets the other’s pleasure please them. (Of course, women have been doing that for centuries. Men only do it when women make sex sacred—or so I infer from MLaRowe and tend to agree.)

Other than for procreation, all other sex is secondary and as popular as morality permits, as popular as women permit society to jump the tracks of female-friendly Judeo-Christian values and standards.

It’s the ideal Judeo-Christian arrangement to ensure that procreation continues as God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes to be compatible, produce babies, raise them to maturity, and help them raise their own into adulthood.

The more sacred, the more closeness. The more secular, the more emotionally disconnected. The former appeals to females; the latter appeals to males. So, once again, women are in charge of the moral judgments about sex and sacred. Men follow when women lead by doing what’s right for them and offspring and without blaming men for shortcomings.



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

2350. Favored Quotes—Collection 47

  1. “I’m a little freaked out that my husband is crying at Disney Channel TV shows and I’m being snuggled to death!” [MeowMeow at 2342 that explains the sex-role switcheroo caused by hormone losses as we age.]
  2. “If someone else is to blame then someone else is the only one with the power to make things better.” [Instanitybytes22 at 2347.]
  3. “Our bodies are the number 1 possession, it is priceless and no-man should have access to it unless he is willing to also give us his number 1 possession, aka freedom.” [Emma at 2149]
  4. “…we speak to each other kindly and we do not hit below the belt when we are upset.” [The lady-author of the PRiM article, 2306]
  5. “I had an interesting revelation…. I realized it was more important to me for [respected male coworkers] to think I’m pretty than for them to think I’m smart. Obviously it’s important they think I’m competent – this is a job – but I’d rather they think I’m pretty-and-competent than brilliant-and-competent. … This is really counter-intuitive for someone who’s always worked and studied hard to ‘keep up with the boys’ in a male-dominated field. … I also finally think I can forgive my grandfather for saying, “You get prettier every time I see you,” and dismissing me every time I tried to engage him in discussions of his work in the same field as my father, my brother, and myself. On a related note, I don’t really care much what the coworkers I do not respect think.” [Meggrz at 1690]
  6. “One of the many problems with feminism is that it teaches women that there is something wrong with “wanting to live up to someone more important than us,” generally men. But that is what makes us happy, that is what brings us joy. Within feminism, to seek the approval of men is thought to be debasing oneself, so what is innate and instinctual to us is at war with what is socially acceptable.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2210]
  7. “Remember ladies. Wanting to be chased is a feminine desire. If a man requires it, you’ve got a problem.” [Tooconfused at 2322]
  8. “The women say men and women can be just friends PERIOD. :-) The men say, men in friendships with women never view it as “just friends”, but rather men just respect being in the holding pattern until the woman opens the door for more. I tend to agree with the men.” [Shanna at 2321]
  9. “Men are wired by nature to move on from rejection and try again, but for a woman it hurts and feels unnatural to be UNWANTED by a man, so of course, I strongly disagree with themes that encourage women to actively pursue men.” [Sarina at 2326]
  10. “Another little thing I would tell my kids… How you think in your heart, will eventually show up on your face.” [Surfercajun at 2334]


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine

2349. Tribute to the Female Nature — 05: Love vs. Discipline

Some mothers raise their children so easily and problem-free, that it must be a piece of cake. Others don’t, can’t, or won’t. The difference starts with toddlers and revolves around two principles.

Toddlers become self-developers as soon as their conscious minds open and they become aware that they too are persons deserving of treatment similar to what others receive. They change direction a little bit shortly thereafter when they discover boys and girls are different and they are one and not the other. They fall quite naturally into their respective sex roles.*

Quite subconsciously to them but visible to mom, they expect to see that others believe as they do. Born with self-love, girls seek evidence that they are loved. Born with self-respect, boys seek evidence that they are respected. They both measure it subconsciously by how they are treated compared to others.

First, they look. They are unaware of why, but they react to being treated differently than they instinctively deserve. Girls expect to be loved equally with others and welcome as part of some group, such as with mom or sisters. Boys expect to be respected fairly. Relative to others, they sense that all are not equal and that individual independence is important.

Second, they earn. Without early recognition that parents and others agree with them, they try to earn the confirmation they seek—girls loved equally, boys respected fairly.

Third they struggle. Failing to earn what they think they deserve, they ‘fight’ back rather than try very hard to earn confirmation of their worth. IOW, if they don’t get what they are born to deserve in their little hearts and minds, they struggle against the status quo. You know and have seen what that means for family quiet, peace, harmony, and mom’s frustration threshold.

It’s all part of self-development. When mom doesn’t go along to meet their ‘demands’, which are subconscious meanderings to see how far they can go or what they can get (self-interest), it can easily make mom sorry, frustrated, unhappy, and lost on what to do next or better. Especially if she’s tied up with something important to her or hubby’s self-interest.)

That’s where two principles come in to make handling children a piece of cake provided mom exploits them with her toddlers. Children need a mature-adult mixture of both principles as they grow up but they impact boys and girls differently.

1) Love comforts. It doesn’t teach except to be easy on oneself.

Comfort confirms a child’s self-image of who, what, and how valuable he is and, consequently, has developed. Also, mom’s applications of love both warm her heart and relieve anxiety in both mom and child.

Girls deserve and need more love than boys. It both confirms a girl’s inborn self-love (she’s worthy of cuddling) and establishes her self-respect (she is as independent as she desires) that is absent at birth.

2) Discipline teaches self-discipline. It doesn’t comfort but breeds self-confidence through achievement.

Discipline’s minor side is to behave in certain ways usually prescribed by social norms, authority, or in our case here, mom. However, the major component is to think in certain ways. Good discipline is not about doing what mom says although that avoids trouble, it’s about doing right and not doing wrong. (Mom won’t always be there to guide.)

Boys deserve and need more discipline than girls. Mom’s discipline is the bedrock of each boy developing his self-discipline, which is vital to the healthy sense of responsibility that adult men need to be mature and successful.

Girls are born with an innate sense of right and wrong. Almost like an inbred moral code, They need far less teaching than boys. Personal discipline is still required for girls, however, to prevent them from over using their ability and strong desire to express and spread love as solution for everything. They need to be disciplined to balance love and discipline when their children come along.

Carrying an undeveloped infant and giving birth endows mothers with a gift no one else possesses. The ability and willingness to forgive her own. It’s a weakness that too easily convinces that love conquers all. When mother depends on it, she aims her children toward immaturity in adulthood, i.e., adultolescents.

Both too much love and too much discipline discourage initiative. The former implies all is well and the child has little responsibility to help himself. The latter teaches that initiative brings on criticism. Too little love has the same end result; the adult looks for comfort from others. Too little discipline makes the child disrespectful of authority. All those conditions render immature adults.

Mature adulthood begins in the third year of life. Mothers are in charge and they have these obligations: to love and to discipline, to comfort and to teach, to confirm value and to prepare toddlers to successfully self-develop themselves.

It amounts to this. Love and discipline go together, comfort and self-discipline go together, well-loved and self-disciplined toddlers are mature beyond their years.


*I purposely avoid speculating about boys that act as girls and vice versa in early childhood. It’s outside the scope of this article.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine

2347. Tribute to the Female Nature — 03: Blame

I like to do problem solving work. But this time, no. I’m just going to dump a major relationship problem in your lap. Do with it as you please and let me know if you see improvement in your relationships with your man, children, and workplace associates.

The problem ID? Too much blame going around. A woman’s blame drives her man away. Love and blame are mutually exclusive and love is the work of woman, blame is the work of conscience and God.

In other people and yourself, treat disregard, unconcern, faults, and incompetencies as accidents of Nature. It happens, and you are not responsible to correct everyone, even if they do make your life miserable. You chose or birthed those that cause you the most trouble, so find another way to lift your misery. Training before is far superior to blaming after the fact. Humans ain’t perfect, which is why recovery is everything.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter

2345. Tribute to Female Nature — 01: Chocolate Pays

I was asked why I give so much chocolate to women, many that I don’t know.

Single Hershey bars given to clerks, friends, dental hygienists, favorite restaurant servers, greeters, neighbors, wives, singles, grandmothers, secretaries, doctors’ nurses, house cleaners, and my optometrist every visit. If I anticipate the encounter, it’s an occasion for chocolate bar in a lunch bag. (Real men don’t do gift bags and tissues with femmy touches.)

A bag of Hershey Miniatures frequently goes to businesses I visit for whatever reason to be placed in the break room with this disclaimer: Guys get none unless the gals say so, ‘cause I don’t do chocolate for men. (Usually presented in a Wal-Mart plastic bag.)

First, teasing women—and giving chocolate for no reason—makes their prettiness shine brighter. Second, I enjoy trying to make funny the gift-giving encounter. Both keep me reminded of my duty. Third, I realize that God gave chocolate to men—not to women—so that men could get women to pay attention to them.

Fourth, and the most compelling reason and which I’ve made a duty, it’s my tribute to women. I was dumb as an under-inflated tire for my first 70 years. This century I educated myself on what wonderful creatures God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize mostly for the benefit of men. Who, of course as you ladies know, may have a slight clue but fall far short on appreciation, affection, and understanding of female needs, wants, and expectations.

So much for me and chocolate. Why the tribute? So few recognize women as the superior gender. How they make civilization work and stabilize society in the face of the dominant gender working against peaceful accommodation. How they prevent the enslavement of women and children, when political conditions enable it as in the U.S.

Tomorrow we’ll examine the male nature that needs female help to keep Western civilization on track.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter