Category Archives: Dear daughter

2506. Men are Never More Handsome…. A Revisit


At 2505 Her Highness Honorfemineity mentioned a subject fond in my heart and  worthy of revisit. I first published 2059 two years ago.

At 2058 Her Highness Prettybeans said to me. “Men are never more handsome as when they continue in their tireless efforts to teach and encourage recovery among ladies. Thank you.” Thus, she gives me both a perfect payday and perfect opportunity to further explain men.

When a man does something he considers a responsibility or obligation, it may be nice but he doesn’t expect to be thanked. It’s his duty. It’s the flip side of an unearned gift. Moreover, in today’s world, thank you is as worn out in sincerity as “I apologize.” So men pay little attention to thank you. Unless of course it’s extended as part of a hug from a pretty woman, which makes what he hears even less relevant.

OTOH, surprisingly expressed indirect compliments work wonders. Even reading Prettybeans above, note that the sentence is flooded with meaning for me that makes “Thank you” virtually unnoticeable.

I propose you ladies learn to charm men in general by charming individuals of opportunity. Charm both known and unknown men with indirect compliments wrapped in female boldness that produces the feminine advantage that women long to have. The benefits come to women from the effects they have on the masculine mind.

My favorite indirect compliment is this: “Men are never more handsome than when they please a lady (for whatever they do).” Use it every time a man pleases you. Opens the door, seats you at table, lets you go ahead of him in a waiting line, husband does laundry or brings you flowers. It doesn’t matter. If a man pleases you, suggest that he just might be made more handsome for doing it. You like to be reminded that you’re pretty don’t you? Indirectness works best with men.

  • First, you have not hit on him. You merely used a surprisingly pleasant way of expressing gratefulness for manly conduct that pleases you as a woman. After the same man has heard it several times, the surprise may evaporate but the friendly reminder will only fade slightly if at all.
  • When you claim yourself as a lady a few times, you will benefit both yourself and set standards for men. Up to which men learn to step when convinced you are what you claim repeatedly.
  • The phrasing makes it sound routine for other men. Strangers read it that you are routinely pleased by other men and it generates uncommon friendliness. Men you know are encouraged to do more to stay ahead of their competitors and to keep you pleased with them.
  • Men love to be called handsome by women, but you didn’t call him that. You call him one of many. He has to infer that he’s included among the pleasers of women, which encourages more because of the success you surprise him with.
  • Although delivered directly, you pass an indirect compliment. He has to make it personal. If he’s handsome for pleasing you, then his male competitors are too. To compete better, he’s encouraged to please you and perhaps others as opportunities arise. He sees women as targets to uplift as unique and deserving of his ability to please. It’s a natural follow-on to his success among competitors. He only has to connect pleasing women to earning self-admiration to make him a better man in the eyes of females.

It works in writing, just as Prettybeans wrote to me above. But, ladies, if you want the full effect, do it this way. For example, a stranger speeds up to hold open the door for you to enter a public building. Halfway through or after the door closes, stop to gain his attention, smile sincerely, capture his eyeballs with yours, and BOLDLY say, “You know, (pause) men are never more handsome than when they please a lady.” And don’t say thank you. Just continue to smile and walk on with something like “Have a good day.”

He can’t just hear it either. His ears are not his primary sensor. Belief only comes when he sees your earnestness. Eye-to-eye displays feminine courage that men respect.

I understand you ladies can’t accept what I propose. It requires too much boldness among other sensibilities. Were I in your shoes, I probably wouldn’t think of such a thing. Remember, I’m pushing you no harder than showing an example. Primarily, I’m using it to explain the male mind. You have to figure out how to make men please you, as modern men don’t seem too eager except in pursuit of sex. Only women can train men to do the right thing as women see what is right. Most women think it’s right for them to be pleased and especially by men. That’s why I’m here to help.

I promise you this. Provided you do it boldly, smilingly, and with eyeballs locked with his when you say it, you will find significant pleasure in their reactions. You’ll recognize that you’ve charged them up with new pleasure and perhaps fascination in you. When a woman makes a man feel fantastic about himself, she assumes an aura of respectability that modern women lack.

What’s the effect on him? Think it through. You just convinced one man that ladies have standards up to which a man can easily find success, can find pleasure doing for others. To be more significant, to find more self-admiration, he only needs to please more women. How can that not be good? How can that not enhance the importance of a woman?

If you recall their natures, women are born to be good and men to do good. But women have to determine what is good for men to do. When men determine what is good, women find it mostly ‘ungood’ for them.

If women are ever to stop or even slow modern society’s slide from goodness toward evil, they must let men know that female standards not only exist but need to be honored. The way to gain honor is to encourage men to do good, specifically do what women expect. The simple “Men are never more handsome…” can jumpstart any woman’s contribution to pleasing men by pleasing herself to please men in ways that benefit Womanhood.

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2505. Two Kinds of His Respect for Her


These are the two damnedest phenomena in all of human relations—and least understood by females.  1) A man has two sex drives. One that drives him to conquer unconquered women. Another satisfies his physiological desire for frequent sex with a woman already conquered—a distinct pair of primal urges.

2) He also has two levels of respect for a woman. The first she earns by refusing to yield to his conquering urges. The more time involved refusing him—and ingenuity and originality used to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver without his losing interest—the more respect she earns.

If he had her worthy sexual assets, he would make someone pay a hefty price to access them, and so he respects resistance and is willing to compete with her until after conquest. The growth of his respect stops with conquest, but it so impresses him that it stores permanently in his subconscious. It’s a natural function attached to his urge to conquer. She won his respect and he never loses that foundation upon which his love develops.

The second form of his respect is far less permanent. It is what she earns by virtue of post-conquest behavior in her multiple roles in life, such as sex partner, wife, mother, friend, talented artist, or sport or political figure. It can add to development of his love, but is secondary to respect earned before conquest.

——

Modern women miss the boat. He seeks to conquer her without obligation; she seeks to conquer him for marriage. The winner has the greatest managerial control of their future relationship, but he knows nothing of relationship management and knows little but to exploit male dominance. Consequently, the greater his respect she earns before conquest, the more willingly he accepts the female governance that enables her to manage a successful marriage.

Both sexes are born to be compatible and mate. Men are willing if rewarded for husbanding and fathering, generally with comfort, enjoyment, few complaints, and plenty of smiles. Women hope for permanence and their relationship expertise provides the talent and skill to produce it. To use it, however, they need his respect even more than his love. OTOH, unmarried sex makes females the inferior spouse, because they lose the masculine respect needed to convince a man to live the life of which women dream and which either God intended or evolution programmed into us.

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2502. Whereby I Eat Humble Pie


Dear Ladies,

I thank all of you for the kind, delightful, and encouraging comments on post 2501. The superior gender rides again. It’s amazing how pretty women can so easily turn discouragement into aspiration.

The people with whom you all associate are blessed to have you nearby. May they learn to appreciate your importance even more than they do presently; your encouragement overflows with gratitude, which magnifies your importance, and feeds your own happiness.

I hope my professional gratefulness spreads easily and smoothly as a blanket over each and every one of you. (Pillow fight, anyone?)

I never thought of this before, but encouraging others is an offshoot of your primal need to have a brighter future. If you need it, others must also and so you’re easily motivated to help. And your influence enlarges with maturity, which enlarges with finding gratitude, which makes women more important, and which makes the world both peaceful and happier. Prettier too. God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Guy

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2500. Large Family Effectiveness


Her Highness MLaRowe inspired this article at 2499 with this remark: “Also since one’s financial assets will be used it takes a lot of unselfishness. That is the resistance part for so many.”

Selfish is not part of the female heart and weakens the majesty of females and especially mothers. In fact, it is foreign and gets there two ways: in childhood with poor upbringing, by seeking to fit in with the crowd as teen and adult, or both.

When a couple’s prime target is to mother and father a large family, like all else finances are not an insurmountable problem. Problems arise with lack or loss of dedication to build a body of kids—made better by their numbers—and up to whom two parents can pledge their lives together.

Kids, being self-developers, provide most of the motive power for family development. Parents can slide back into guidance roles while kids are relatively free to develop as one big gaggle of energy. They learn and teach at the same time just what it is that mom and dad expect of them. Parents can just enjoy the show and expect it will all come out well in the end.

Modern women have been taught the opposite of this. Large families enable mom to work less hard; she gets to do more of what she loves to do and less of what she has to do. One exception: If mom expects perfection in anything except close love for all, respect for husband, and gratitude for father, then her labors increase and she likes it less and less.

Siblings have greater influence on personality development of each other than do parents. Extra siblings are a goldmine for attractive personality development. Quality inculcated in one child spreads to the others, so parents have only to get the ball rolling of high quality in the first child or two and the others duplicate it. Not only is more the merrier appropriate, but so is more the easier and boisterous. And it takes a special man to live with the boisterous.

Advice: Ladies, whether you intend to have a large family or not, screen each Mr. Good Enough a few times this way. Casually visualize a huge family, how it would interact, what it would produce, how it could be handled, and what a marvelous success it would be for the kids growing up and later with adult closeness. Describe in detail all you visualize so that your date copies the images. You will learn from his reactions how he feels about children and having his own. How he appreciates your imagination, studies your intent, guesses at your mystery of even thinking of such things, and in general prepares his thinking to parallel yours. It’s a good screening technique.

If the thought of a large family truly terrifies him but he’s willing to listen to more, dig into him deeper. He shows promise, because he only needs encouragement to take on such a task, but you haven’t obligated yourself.

If your thoughts provoke his ire, offensiveness, or anything approaching anger, dump him. He won’t be a good father and probably not a good husband.

 

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2499. Love and Sex That Never Die


Of all the motivational forces working inside males and females, two stand out as both strongest and unchangeable. An inborn and primal love for females and an inborn and primal sex drive for males. As motivating equivalents, they are the hardest to blunt or change. They are not opposites to be balanced, however, and only women can make relationship harmony out of the difference.

Mother love is unconditional and the most powerful and reliable form of love. Returned or not, it’s a love that never dies but spreads easily and comfortingly to both sexes.

The male sex drive to conquer attractive women for first-time sex together is equally compelling. Whether fulfilled, appreciated, or not, it’s a drive that never dies. It’s an activity, however, that is kept in the shadows with no social or domestic benefits redeemable by unmarried women.

This difference makes female the superior gender. Mother love spreads splendidly with more children. It makes better mothers, easier-to-raise children, and is contagious enough to even make better fathers. It supports the innate female drive to be good, do good things to prove it, and induce men to do good in order to be better men. The more mother love that spreads around, the better are both society and the cultural values and standards that follow and support it. Father love is generally not contagious, as love is not a prime male interest.

One instinctive motivation reinforces men as the dominant gender. Men affirm their dominance to hide determination to be different from women, especially to fulfill the primal urge to conquer the unconquered. Conquest does not grow the man, does not make him a better person, Consequently, the conqueror as such contributes little to making society better and can destroy his own family by fulfilling that primal urge.

When exposed to good mother love spread over many children, a man’s interest in conquest deteriorates in favor of devotion to those he can love more if he disregards the lures outside the home. Mother love favorably influences fathers, and the more the better. It is indirect leadership that lures the male nature to join the lovingly pleasant atmosphere that mothers develop. Two abiding strengths of mother love are plenty of smiles to confirm acceptance and guidance with few complaints to lead positively. Those are the same wifely behaviors that deliver home life satisfaction to husbands.

You heard it here first. That is why families should plan for six children so they will end up with at least five and can handle seven or eight. The indirect but pleasant pressures of mother love make more responsible fathers out of irresponsible men, outstanding mothers out of average women, potential good parents out of children, and matriarchal dynasties for grandparents. The source of all is the love of mothers for offspring, and the more children the merrier for all involved. Selfishness disappears, self-centeredness morphs easily into family-centeredness, tendency toward narcissism is suppressed by need to be accepted.

Thus, it is proportional. Multi-child responsibility brings out more of a woman’s natural managerial talent, skill, and enthusiasm—that for which she is born with a supremely superior ability. The admiration of husband and father exceeds that of a virtuous woman; she becomes his superstar with about the fourth or fifth child. It’s God’s design, nature, and hormones in operation.

When mother love dominates families and society, the superiority of it shines in many homes. At the earliest stages, kids learn good and bad, moral and evil, respect and love. We all benefit in society when mother love is widespread and dominating both social and domestic  landscapes. It takes more children to bring it out in the open.

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2498. — Courtship Success


Every successful couple needs two foundations. If one never forms or forms weakly, staying power is lost. The foundations are respect and love, respect is the most important, and both depend upon actions more than words.

Their natures interact differently.

  • Men respect those who earn their respect. Until conquered they highly value female sexual assets more than the female as person. So, the more protective of her assets to delay conquest, the more of a man’s respect she earns. Without respecting her, a man’s proclaimed love is not true. (I believe it to be proportional, his greater respect brings forth his deeper love.)
  • Women reinforce their love with words. Her loving words program her heart with more sincerity and intensity. Thus, her words more than actions determine her beliefs and feelings, which guide her motivations. Men, believing action more easily than words, find her words largely unconvincing without actions as proof. So, the more a gal tries to talk her way into gaining a guy’s love, the poorer she does.
  • OTOH, her refusal to yield their first sex together discourages what he longs for, can frustrate, and induce his departure—if she does not know how to hold his attention and capture his affection with her likeability.
  • A woman’s most impressive action is to refuse their first sex together. Each refusal magnifies his challenge, earns her more respect, adds to her worth as potential mate, reinforces her self-love as person, and diminishes his view of her as just another sex object.
  • A man expects to be automatically respected, period. He is who he is, period. He does what he does, period. She expects to be loved for who she is, what she does, and how she expresses it. In fact, she becomes the loving person she sincerely expresses.
  • His actions program his heart with conviction that he’s right and thereby become habits of behavior. Thus, his actions determine his beliefs and feelings. When his actions make him feel good to please her, his devotion develops and grows as the result of living up to please someone more important than himself. (It works that way with mother-love and God too, does it not?)
  • The result is that he cannot love her without respecting her, and she has to earn his respect. He doesn’t have to earn her love; she gives it willingly but men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. And there is the rub, the glitch, the dog that won’t hunt.

If he does not earn her love, his heart is never programmed with the actions that form the habits of loving someone, especially someone more important than himself. So, courtship success depends on her making it mutual. She earns his respect by delaying conquest, while he earns her love by proving himself worthy of her. By insisting on both points, she becomes the person in charge, the buyer as it were, which pushes him into the seller role. By following her female nature more closely as the relationship expert, she becomes able to breed success in courtship.

When she does it properly according to her female nature, she finds that he does most of the work if she just quits talking too much trying to convince him that she is the one for him. Posts 1912 and 2180 describe how a man walks himself to the altar.

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2493. Friendly Reminders — 10


  • Women are made to always have purpose in life. If they lose or run out of it, they keep looking until they find new reason for living. Men are not energized the same. If they lose it, they tend to live silently with lack of purpose and spiral downward toward the dregs and attracting  more discontent along the way. Thus, women have greater recovery ability than do men.
  • We’re all born with the potential to love another but no better than we love ourselves. Consequently, the higher one’s self-esteem, the greater one’s potential to love and the lower the lesser.
  • Single moms easily fall prey to treating an only son as her primary love and nurture-object. It’s unhealthy for him and haunts other women in his adult life.  Children respond better when taught in the tweens what causes mistakes and constitutes misery in an adult’s life and are then enabled to decide how they can and will avoid it as they parade into and through the teens. Teach the WHAT as leaders do and not the HOW as managers do. (Definition: The tweens extend from first grade through puberty.)
  • Women don’t feel guilty over the attention/affection/gifts they receive. Four reasons why they deserve every bit of it: They are pretty, able to provide sex, capable of delivering babies, and need to feel important. External confirmations are welcome and needed frequently to reinforce all the above.
  • Many a mom has trouble forgiving her son for growing up. She’s certain he can’t do without her nurturing love, because she’s certain she can’t live without delivering it. So, she often continues to mother him even into his married life. Very ‘ungood’ for his marriage.
  • Women double down when they dress down. Pretty goes down. Standards go down. Self-confidence goes down. Self-image goes down. Other-centeredness goes down. Pride goes down. Why? You care less for yourself when you care less about others and vice versa.

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