Category Archives: feminine

2311. No Hymen, No Diamond

Her Highness Tooconfused has produced a clear and better description than mine of today’s marketplace of women choosing bad guys. With slight editing, I quote her below.

Actually, I’ve rearranged what she wrote so that it more clearly and directly challenges my article 2310. Extra credit given for completeness and clarity of thought.

She writes:

“[O]ur dating market has become so perverse and unholy that it is impossible to simply say women choose bad men.

“The dating market as of now (2015) is completely unstable. If society wasn’t polluted with feminism and leftoid thinking the scenario Guy describes would work. Women would meet and date men whose confidence and self worth resembled their own. Good women would marry good men.

“[W]omen are trying to marry good men but end up choosing the bad men? This might be easy to say from the male perspective. There are tons of situations where women are waiting for the better men to chase and pursue them but end up with bad men because many times these bad men make women feel very “comfortable”. They pursue and they don’t give up, tricking women into thinking that it is love. They are persistent. The better men nowadays have easier access to duty sluts and many of them no longer fight for the woman they truly want. They settle for easy access to sex. The lower quality woman may not be the catch they wanted but they sustain the male sex drive when it is at it’s highest (aka marrying age).

“For example it is quite common for very attractive chaste single women to be sitting on the bench getting no action while she sees her looser sisters dragging their boyfriends to the altar. Nobody is trying to choose bad men. The good men are with lower quality women as of today. The bad men get to pursue both the loose girls and the high quality chaste ladies.

“I’m pretty sure I’m not exaggerating. I just read the ‘letter’ post you did with the woman who was reaching out to her former “boyfriend”. This woman sounded like a high quality looker with a chaste lifestyle and she was dealing with a man who was going on and off. In what world would this make any sense? Only in 2015. 40 years ago this same woman would have been married and 40 years ago her man wouldn’t be so “on and off” because most women knew to be chaste before marriage therefore stripping men of all the easy options. The man would have had to make the decision to marry and lock her down.

“The good men marry convenient girls and they divorce because it was never real devotion – further polluting our marketplace. They are robbed of their natural hunt and conquer urge because the loose girl is right there waiting when the “game” they really want to nail on their wall requires good aim and persistence. Meanwhile the cads and alpha players continue to collect trophies – emotionally + physically conquering many women – gaining power in the sexual market they really shouldn’t have. The power is that they learn to understand the female mind and use it to their advantage. They can sleep with the duty sluts and then during the day hunt for the elusive trophy. You see? The jerks have nothing to lose. It is easier for a man to pursue a specific target if he isn’t so sexually needy. That same woman trophy is waiting for better men but again those men are all occupied with steady access to sex. The trophy – if she is stupid – will fall for the jerkboy. If she is smart she will be very lonely!

“Yes it is easy to just give up and throw in the towel. Just forget about being chaste, right? Nope. The good and bad men are still greedy jerks and their whole motto is no hymen no diamond. So you see you can’t just have fun and become a slut either! Just gotta play hard ball. *sigh*”


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses

2310. She Picks Bad Guys

Sir Eric describes how young girls and modern women attractively appeal and play to the best guys and then partner up with the worst. Their adult behavior flows out of poor programming of heart and mind in childhood. Adults before puberty teach or let them learn that they are bad. Teen peers both confirm and promote it as they associate with those of common interest and attitude.

Before puberty the girls are taught, allowed to think, or never convinced other than that they are bad. Parents, teachers, and others try to make girls feel better about themselves. They are catered to as deserving princesses to overcome their feeling bad about themselves. Nature doesn’t work that way.

The female subconscious knows that gifts and words of others symbolize that she’s important, but that doesn’t make her important, Only her own effort does, and it must be habitually reinforced before puberty.

Without their making themselves important to others, girls can easily be made or left to have feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness. It takes only a little prompting in childhood for it to morph into ‘I’m no good’ or ‘I’m bad’.

Very different from boys,* females are born to be good. However, proper programming of heart and mind requires that they do good in order to habitually confirm that they are a good person. To do good is to act in ways that make them important to others so that it registers as self-importance within them.

Enough earning of self-importance through their actions programs their heart and mind that they are good. If they become good to themselves, then they overcome the natural human vulnerability to being unworthy, undeserving, and—therefore so easily—bad.

Both sexes are born to earn their worth, to be deserving. Males earn it by accomplishments that satisfy themselves and make them significant and therefore deserving. Females earn it by living up to someone more important than themselves and thereby become worthy and deserving, which displace the deep-rooted thoughts of natural guilt that portend badness.

Girls who grow up living up to no one more important than themselves are the ones who link up with bad guys. Parents and peers teach improperly and those girls develop the habit of always seeing themselves as the most important. But self-importance doesn’t settle into their female hearts when they live mostly for themselves. Excess self-centeredness pushes them toward narcissism, which causes them to automatically presume they are unworthy—and bad is not far behind.

How easy is it for parents to convince daughters and peers to convince friends that girls, and they alone, are the most important person in their own lives? But those good intentions—the words of others—earn her nothing; they leave daughters and friends with the internal conviction that they are undeserving, inadequate, and unworthy. Although such girls hide it well by associating with good boys and men, hidden within is the overpowering belief that they are not good, which bad guys can easily detect and convince that it’s good for him and therefore best for the girls. As we all do, people gravitate toward those like them.

Females are especially vulnerable to finding the ‘bad’ in themselves. It’s why someone’s love is so strongly sought, why morality and religion are so important to women. They recognize their inherent need to be loved so they can forget how badly they can feel about themselves when they have no one else with whom they can prove their importance and earn self-importance.

After puberty girls becomes unsupervised amid peer-confirmed actions of their importance to self. They can’t share what they don’t have in their heart; they only need someone of common interest such as bad guys. Good boys and men don’t confirm their sense of badness, and so they seek the bad guys with whom they’re more comfortable, WADWMUFGAO.


*Boys are not born to be good but to do good. However, they must be taught and incentivized mostly by mothers, girls, women, and wives into making it habitual. Or else, they too presume they are undeserving, unworthy, and, ipso facto, bad or nearly so.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female

2309. Favored Quotes—Collection 46

It was not always this way, but the blog has converted me. My favorite people are the steady performers, always reliable and usually predictable. In the case of this blog, it’s those who contribute witty, wise, and personal remarks aimed at entertaining or spreading kind words that encourage others. Such as those readers whom I quote in this series and who are especially uplifting for me.

Your total of 2.4 million views and 15,000 comments (not counting my responses) have kept me on track and living up to something bigger than me in addition to Jesus Christ. Your loyalty inspires me to pay closer attention.

I quote some favorites here:

“Men are visual creatures, women are auditory creatures in general so our vices play out differently.” [My Husband’s Wife at 1803]

“It helps to keep in mind that prior to marriage, you are the buyer and he is the seller. ALWAYS. A Mr. [Vague and Unavailable] tries to reverse these roles. Who wants a man like that? I certainly don’t!” [Cinnamon at 2029]

“Ha—that reminded of what Cato, the ancient Roman Senator once said: ‘We Roman men rule the men in the rest of the world, and Roman women rule us.’” [Eric at 2131]

“I have learned that your body is your biggest possession and it should only be given to the highest bidder aka the man that puts the effort and focus to earn the right by marriage. If I ever have a daughter I will teach her this. :-)” [Emma at 1792]

“Oh and I’m the same height as my husband so I wear flats mostly because I feel less feminine when I’m taller than him.” [MLaRowe at 2168. Success in life comes from exploiting such subtle differences.]

“PC is aimed at feelings, directness is aimed at the will.” [Sharon at 2162 quoting her husband.]

“After marriage, you get what you marry AND his friends. At least now, you have a choice.” [That Horse Is Dead at 2259]

“Why is she wasting her time trying to be pleasing to bosses who don’t really care about her life as her husband does? She may find out by reacting to [husband’s] feedback with femininity [that] she is fulfilling her own need for recognition.” [Sharonwithmaryandmartha at 1977]

“I looked up ‘run aground’ because I thought it sounded like a ship. HA! I was right… run aground with shallow thinking and not following her heart.” [Surfercajun at 2287]

“and just look around–few young women are being courted today. ANYWAY–this is why I HATE ROMANCE NOVELS.. and how a woman could ‘change a man’ with her sexuality. Men don’t change that way but only through femininity” [Miss Kitty at 2141]

“Many women I think are caught in a Limbo between their instincts and their social programming.” [Eric at 2287]

[Context: After she saw a musician stop to help a small boy retrieve something.] “Brute force with a suede touch. Masculinity at its finest!” [From Surfercajun at 2228]

“But again the WOMAN has the best knowledge on how to be a WOMAN. And it makes all the difference when she not only believes that, but cherishes the fact.” [Lady Kaikou at 897]

“So, while we can educate young girls and women on how to look for a man of quality character, we can’t make him demonstrate his masculinity without some ‘shock and awe’ therapy.” [That Horse Is Dead at 2203]

“It is important to remember that you cannot demand [how a man is to treat you]. You can act according to your own expectations in order to influence his thinking but you have to let go of whether or not a particular man rises to the occasion. If he does not meet your expectations (aided by your subtle encouragement) then he is the wrong man and you move on.” [Cinnamon at 1968]

“What it does show is that feminine desperation combined with feminist indoctrination can have lethal consequences if an especially dysfunctional male gets involved.” [Eric at 2129]


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage

2308. Compatibility Axioms #961-970

961. Think and act dignified, and you’ll earn respect.

962. Think and act uniquely feminine, and you’ll attract a husband.

963. Think and act like a good Christian, and you’ll develop a servant’s heart and vice versa.

964. Think and act like a lady, and you’ll be treated as one—although you may have to teach others how to do it, both what being a lady means and how a man treats her.

965. Think and act like a virgin even if you’re not, and you’ll lead men to make themselves worthy of you.

966. Think and act morally exemplary, and you’ll influence others to duplicate your character.

967. Think and act pretty, and you’ll make yourself prettier.

968. Think and act unselfishly, and you’ll become a helpmate.

969. Think and primp in front of a mirror every day, and you’ll become prettier and value yourself much higher.[315]

970. Self-respect and duty slut are mutually exclusive.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine

2307, Preventive Relationship Maintenance — Guy’s PRiM: 58-60

  1. Overbearing male dominance inevitably injects itself where unwanted in a woman’s life. Consequently, your man won’t do well trying to meet your standards and expectations unless imposed with graceful charm, female modesty, and feminine wit. That and other sex differences enable you to maintain compatibility and harmony without stooping to manipulation, denying sex, or falling under the wheels of male dominance.
  2. Experts are responsible people, but they need authority to act. This requires that you avoid being overruled as much as practicable. Lessening your authority weakens your responsibility. You then lack influence to do what you need to do, as you see it.
  3. For good relationship maintenance, you have three primary responsibilities that promote marital longevity: resolve disagreements peaceably, avoid discouraging each other about each other, and preserve the harmony needed for relationship success.

He’ll never become Mr. Right, if you begin to think he’s Mr. Wrong. It’s not the big things such as love that hold you together. You drift apart and separate from the accumulation of small things that destroy likeability and respect. Preventive relationship maintenance keeps you aimed at making him Mr. Right instead of uncovering how he’s Mr. Wrong.

And with that I’ve run out of steam on this subject. At least for now. Tomorrow or the next day we return to our regular broadcasting.

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Filed under courtship, feminine, How she wins

2306. Preventive Relationship Maintenance — Guy’s PRiM: 57: Shape Her Future

Just a reminder: A woman’s primal need is for a brighter future. Consequently, the female nature focuses more on the future than the present. His primal drive is to compete with Nature, other men, and to shape human events. His primal need is for a place to flop, eat, and throw his things so he can recover them the next day to go fight the dragon. As a result, the male nature focuses on the present more than the future. Yet, both sexes are created to become highly compatible as mates.

That and many similar sex differences often become contradictions when two people get together with intention to mate. Success begins when leaders take charge of themselves before they take charge of others. The lady-author who writes below demonstrates how to take charge of herself and invite the man she would most like to recapture. She shapes and offers her future to invite him to shape their life together in the present. It’s a masterful stroke too, whether it works as intended or not.

At post 2305 I described the pleasant adventure I had with this lady-author and with whom I spent the day in Ohio. I learned much from her letter below. It warrants being published for all to read.

Her story. After several years of on-again, off-again relationship due to his being loved but unreliable and unsteady, when he asked for another chance, she said ‘no’. Now she opens another door for him to reconsider and perhaps recover. She wrote him the letter below.

The lady expects little or no success. She anticipates his not qualifying and having to settle for another man later. She describes her future and thereby gives ex-boyfriend first dibs to join her. That is, if he can re-qualify as potential mate within her plans, standards, and expectations. IOW, his way to recover in the short term depends on his success buying into her way for the long term. Preventive maintenance before a relationship even forms.

Note how well she discloses and confirms to herself just what she is and must have. The real value of the letter is in her attesting to her beliefs and affirming gratitude in herself. She gets more out of the letter for herself than he ever will.

I’ve made this point before. The lack of self-gratitude is the initiating cause of female unhappiness, but this lady shows no such lack. She has repaved her own road to happiness, whether she captures this man or another.

Here’s her letter. I made minor changes to protect her identity.



I trust that this finds you well. I’m doing very well – my time in the land of the brave and the home of the free is turning out to be quite interesting and I’m having a good time. [Guy adds: Letter was written while on business trip to the U.S.]

I intended for this email to be more succinct than lengthy but then I started writing and it took on a life of its own. I ask that you set aside some time to read and to internalise the content as I believe it will be well worth your time.

So I’ve been thinking about my hopes and dreams as regards my future and basically picturing how I would like and will, by God’s grace, plan my life to shape up within the next 10-15 years. As my friend I thought to share these thoughts with you.

I see myself as:

– Having a devoted, loyal, hardworking, reliable and emotionally/mentally stable and strong husband (in character and disposition) who is clearly identified reputationally and actually as the de-facto and de jure leader of our family unit.

– Having emotionally and mentally settled in my role as the woman of the house; CEO of my kitchen and home affairs. I obey, support and submit as second in command to my husband who is tasked with the overall Commander-In-Chief responsibilities outside the home. In light of this I see myself at rest because I know that his good head is well rested on his capable manly shoulders and I am safe to do my womanly business knowing full well that he’s handling his.

– Having a husband who is also at rest because he knows that he has the very best woman by his side. He knows that his vulnerability is treasured and protected. He knows that I will fight fiercely alongside him, rather than fight him, to guard our home. He is at rest because when he comes home after slaying the proverbial dragon out there in the cold harsh world, he comes to a place of rest and rejuvenation; a place where he can relax, have some peace of mind, enjoy a good meal and find a woman who is eager to cater to him in all the ways that a wife should.

– Having at least 1 child – strong, healthy, intelligent, curious, kind, thoughtful and well on the way to being capable of making his/her way in this miasma that is life.

– Having a vibrant church life with my little nuclear family as we try to figure out where we fit in to the larger Body of Christ.

– Having moved away from formal employment and possibly having set up my own independent _________ in something to do with ________ or possibly doing some ________. These projects bring some additional income into the home but my husband and I can do without them because we have consistently and carefully managed our finances and we are able to get by comfortably. I am able to focus on making the home the homely place that it should be and my husband is able to focus on whatever it is that men do to protect, provide, plan and to problem-solve.

– Having good friends – both singles and couples alike – who reinforce my relationship with God and with the members my family.

– Having taken my health seriously and looking better than I do now – healthy, happy and whole – even as I age.

– As definitely driving a _________________!

I see:

– My husband as doing meaningful gainful work for which he is passionate and which plays into his natural strengths and talents. He is active in the church and he is involved in furthering the Gospel in whichever ways that God permits him to.

– That I am very proud of my husband and I take great pleasure in being his wife and under his care and protection.

– That my husband and I read the bible and pray together, we have agreed and commit to pursue that we will not go to bed angry, we speak to each other kindly and we do not hit below the belt when we are upset. We actually like to spend time together and we are best friends – we make each other laugh, we travel together and we enjoy a simple happy life!

– My husband as having made deliberate, focused and successful efforts to unite both his and my side of the family such that we do not tolerate our in-laws but rather, as far as is possible, we are a family and we actively love one another.

– My husband is committed to understanding how my mind works and how important it is for me to have some degree of structure. He understands that he’s not my source of peace but seeks to meet me in a manner that makes sense to me. For example, he appreciates that timely feedback matters a great deal to me. He is aware that I will not fight him but at the same time he knows that when I feel like I’m pulling and pushing, tense and anxious then I am disinterested and disengaged.

– My husband is a man who keeps his word sooner rather than later, who is communicative and willing to express himself satisfactorily.

– My husband is a man who understands that hearts are not playthings and he understands that second chances at love are neither commonplace nor to be taken for granted.

– My husband has committed to understanding what love means to his wife and what intimacy means in the marriage relationship.

– My husband is a mate with whom I can grow deeper in my walk with God and our relationship is not akin to a hostage situation where I am safe only to the extent that I keep him at arm’s length or where I desperately need to cling to Christ simply because of pain.

This is by no means an easy task to execute but I think that if he’s keen to notice things as they happen, every man gets the wonderful opportunity to meet the girl for whom he is willing to undertake this arduous task of daily dying to self.

And in all this I wonder, does it excite you, as it does me, to imagine that if you play your cards right, this person could be you? ;)



I put the question to readers. Would the men or man you know be convinced that they or he should marry a woman who identified herself that way? You may recall that he wants to recover their relationship. Is it promising enough for a man to see what marriage should be like compared to what they see and feel in the modern world?

I ask readers to consider responding with their opinions.

  1. Would modern women and men respond favorably to such an initiative?
  2. How effective do you see it for preventive relationship maintenance?

The lady-author and I look forward to your feedback.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Home CEO, How she wins

2305. Preventive Relationship Maintenance — Guy’s PRiM: 56: PRiM Expert

A week ago I had one of the most pleasant adventures of my life. A reader from overseas was in the U.S. on business. She asked to visit me but travel difficulties mandated that we meet in Columbus, Ohio.

We swapped descriptions on how to meet and the rendezvous went without a hitch. With feminine grace, she turned up in a very pretty dress and high heels and sporting a special red hairdo. She looked gorgeous, but evidently she was outdone. She was almost better looking at age 28 than I at 84 in blue blazer, beard, and my water-proof hairpiece covered with a sporty blue hat.

Amazing. She must be just a little shy of my better looks, because all day everyone took one glance at her and then stared incredulously at me. I have to remember that. If I ever need attention in public, youth on my arm outranks beauty. I felt a little sorry for her, but what could I do? Can I help it if age is the new fashion?

Things change, and social customs change radically: Orange is new, black is out, old is youthful, maturity is new. Nevertheless, I felt badly. She deserved so much more attention than she received. I wanted to give but all I could do was take (all that onlooker and passerby glory). I got the credit from others, so I compensated her. I kept my eyes glued on her so she wouldn’t feel left out. So she would feel comfortable in my country.

We began the day with lunch at P.F. Chang’s China Bistro (by far my favorite—you have to test the Chilean Sea Bass, greatest fish ever). Following lunch we visited the Amish country for gift buying, ice cream, observing horse and buggy transportation, and endless dialogue about male-female relations.

Not wanting to offend a foreigner when she asked to drive, I didn’t tell her that the speedometer registered in miles rather than kilometers per hour until she passed 90 aiming for 100 on a narrow but four-lane road in a nearly new car bought just the day before.

We got a lot of dialogue points covered, however, as she spoke faster with car speed. Overall, an accomplished driver with experience only on the wrong side of the road and right side of the car, but she didn’t look or act out of place. It was fun to ride shotgun with her.

But that’s only part of my story. I learned from a relationship expert how to enable a loved man to recover after he screws up their relationship. An ounce of preventive maintenance is worth a pound of after-the-problem relationship management.

It’s coming next and expect it tomorrow.


Filed under courtship, feminine, old school