Not convinced yet? I continue with another Garden of Eden root that exemplifies the superior sex. I’ll kill the mystery now but you already know so it’s not really a mystery: Love is superior to respect (although men will disagree instinctively in defense of male dominance). These self-worth emotions are inherited at birth: her self-love and his self-respect. Consequently, she begins life with the advantage for inducing men to yield their interests sufficiently in order to provide and protect her and her children. Gifted with self-love enables women to love others according to the way that women love—emotionally and clearly not dependent on male-like logic and reason. Their love is virtually endless unless turned off by love objects. Not that they love everybody, but they are capable of it. Their hearts overflow with loving thoughts whereas the male heart is only capable of loving those who qualify. Gifted with self-respect enables men to respect others but there’s a catch. Women can love without it being earned by the one loved. Men are different. A man respects those who earn it either from him or someone else that he respects. Moreover, the foundation of masculine love is respect, which makes it essential that a sex target earn his respect if she hopes to be more than his target. OTOH, women love too easily for men; they can love someone without respecting them so men are suspicious of womanly claims of love because it’s so different from man-think. It puts couples in this fix. A woman can love a man all day. Without earning his respect, however, hers will be unrequited love. It begs the question, what does a woman have or do that earns manly respect? The list is practically endless but it boils down to this: She’s female and acts it; she’s uniquely not male; she has feminine qualities that he admires to the point of fascination; and she has promise as a potential mate. Out of all that, provided she is also likeable to him as a person and woman, a man can devote himself loyally to one woman. In a reverse maneuver to earn respect without giving away the store, women compensate instinctively with a superior technique. Before, during, and after women fall for a man, femininity calls for them to exercise patience and depend on him to make himself worthy of her. They make men the sellers and women the buyers. They recognize that it takes time for a man’s respect to grow, discover and admire her qualities, appreciate her fascination, and realize that she holds enough promise for him to see her as his mate, his helpmate for fulfilling his ambitions. That reverse maneuver puts women in the driver’s seat of the marital bus. Who has the superior role? Driver or shotgun? Without the females’ natural ability to exploit their patience in order to generate mutual love with a man, not much marriage or permanent mating takes place.
Category Archives: feminine
Post 2228 asked for responses to this question, what does your heart say about men? With only minor editing for blog style, typos, clarity, and readability, the answer nevertheless grew into a three part series. Part II is the list of what you ladies declare to be in your hearts. It’s amazing how men are put down in society when they have all the blessings cited tomorrow. Many blessings that men either inherit at birth or are trained predominantly by women in early childhood. Part III is a list of beliefs that I think reside in the female heart, or at least most of those hearts, and from which women earlier trained the men in your life.
Note this. The preponderance of your opinions in tomorrow’s Part II are based on character rather than how men treat women. IOW, you judge the background of masculine motivation rather than the results produced. It is significant for woman-think and this series.
The female heart judges men as unique persons and good or bad men rather than husband/father/lover/friend aka their roles in a woman’s life. Why? Because that’s how a woman’s heart operates; it’s her mind that judges men for their fulfillment of their roles in life. It make this difference in relationships: Her heart finds greater respect and dependability in a man’s character than how he treats her. Her mind works just the opposite.
Thus, the female heart works best to figure out how to shape a successful marriage, which tells men they don’t have to be perfect (but which they presume) in order to be appreciated as husband/father/lover/friend. OTOH, when the female mind dominates a relationship, her man is too easily judged for the quality of fulfilling his roles in life, which she finds him wanting and hopes to correct, which causes failures in changing him, which frustrates her to try harder, which causes nagging, which causes his disinterest in listening to her, which nullifies her influence, which increases her frustration, which begins another trip around the same relationship-busting loop.
When her heart dominates, she captivates a man by focusing on him. When her mind dominates, she decapitates a relationship by paying too much attention to people and factors outside of ‘us’.
Now, if your heart can find all the blessings cited in this series as inherent in men, how can you miss having a happy life with one of them? It only requires this: Rely on your heart and not your head, believe in yourself more than what others say, and follow your instinct and intuition to do it all with indirectness rather than trying to be directly in charge.
Since women who rely on their hearts are the buyers and men as sellers must come up with acceptable marital promise, women smartly give the illusion of being the weaker sex, which subliminally compliments men as the stronger sex, which men fully expect their woman to not only acknowledge but keep others from detecting otherwise, which strengthens compatibility, which enables women to breathe harmony into a family. She ties it all together or it doesn’t get tied.
Okay, ladies, it’s your turn. I’ve been doing most of the work.
What does your heart tell you about men? Screen out what you’ve learned from or been persuaded by others. Consult with the feminine side you were born with rather than the pop culture values and expectations that shape your life today. Specifically, what can you find that compliments men generally? You can always find something to compliment your man, but I’m interested in disclosing worthiness in the gender. So, cite your man’s qualities only if he’s typical.
Cite them and I’ll publish the list in about a week including a few of my citations. Credit given to each contributor.
Have an inspirational week, ladies.
791. She’s easy to forgive but never forgets. He’s slow and difficult to forgive but easier than her to forget.
792. She expects him to read her mind about her wants, needs, and desires. He expects it to be unnecessary. His prowess and stamina will make the marital ball roll just fine, thank you very much. 
793. Women talking can’t alter the nature of husbands. Wives do better figuring things out by themselves than seeking aid and comfort with the ‘enemy’—sister females who are not above stealing husbands by exploiting weaknesses their wives described previously. 
794. Women are not alike in wants, needs, desires, drives, and erogenous zones. Each can solve her own problems in her own home. God designed and Nature gave her hard-headed expertise to deal with men, and soft-hearted plus relationship expertise to deal with a man. 
795. Women talk about their wants, needs, and desires but skirt around their sex drive. They know intuitively that advertising it virtually admits to a promiscuous and perhaps sexually hyperactive past. 
796. Women complain and blame men about being inconsiderate. After years of Internet and entertainment media bashing of males, complaints continue. Do women expect different results from doing the same thing? 
797. Continuous delays of conquest set up a battle of wills. The more she wins—through her hard-headed will and especially light-hearted wit—the more influence she gains for making his natural dominance acceptable to her.
798. A man’s dominant attitude bows to those he fears, respects, or loses to competitively. By refusing to yield unmarried sex, she out-competes him and earns respect for her restraint. She respects him and shows gratitude for his patience and whatever else he does—except for yielding to him. It makes her more valuable and generates fear of losing her.
799. As his fears mount for losing the woman of his dreams, his resistance weakens about loss of independence.
800. Conquering a virgin—real or virtual—is not about her but him. Her uniqueness uplifts his significance more than other conquests. After conquest, however, she’s sexually like all the conquered. What all else she has to offer and he finds satisfying to him is what keeps him with her.
781. Proving a man’s good character takes time, and virtual virginity works best. Marry a man of good character, and the promise of permanence brightens her future. 
782. The TV in the bedroom adds more straying power than staying power for both sexes. Late night shows program the mind for what’s bigger, better, and more appealing outside the home. The body’s relaxed, the shows are enjoyable, the heart and mind more vulnerable. 
783. Men get the urge. Women agree to merge. When done too quickly, children hear the dirge. 
784. Promiscuity softens a woman’s natural hard-headed determination and hardens her soft-hearted manner. 
785. Mothers civilize and tame aggressiveness in boys—or boys live aggressively and more freely for life. Teen girls civilize boys into men—or they don’t get there. Wives domesticate husbands to settle down, or men move their conquering selves around too much for their wife. 
786. A woman kisses a frog. Then, she neuters her prince with criticizing words that sour his spirit of royalty. 
787. Feminine mystique is whatever a woman does that stimulates curiosity and keeps a man guessing, uncomfortable, defensive, and unsure of her determination and intention about his role in her life. 
788. Her hard-headedness tames Mr. GoodEnough in the short range. Her soft-heartedness helps him morph into Mr. Right over the years ahead. 
789. Should she expect and can she get everything? Is trying for perfection asking too much, when the subject so easily disrupts his habits? 
790. Doesn’t complaining about his approach to sex take her eye off the prize of keeping him? 
771. Men are on a mission to deliver their form of temporary love with a prepackaged agenda. Virtual virginity forces him to repackage himself with consideration for other things such as her virtues, character, and personal preferences. The process that accompanies delayed sex leads to commitment and his actions in appreciation of her likeability leads to devotion. (See the series titled Virtual Virginity for ways to deter or slow him down.) 
772. Women can talk about it—to other women, that is. But, talking to their man about his sexual expertise requires more caution and indirectness than that used in international diplomacy and negotiation, where phrases can sometimes have double, different, or even opposite meanings. 
773. It takes a lot of time and desire for a man to figure her out mentally and emotionally. He’s preoccupied with figuring her out physically. And vice versa, he keeps those things separated in his mind.
774. Competition in a married couple’s decision making generates incompatible emotions. It worsens like an untreated infection and stirs his dominant nature. Competition stimulates thoughts about her as dispensable; her likeability declines. 
775. Cooperation breeds compatibility and demonstrates to him that he’s indispensable. As men become more indispensable, they grow in steadfastness and devotion to whatever they are doing. Cooperation works more like exercise to strengthen his habits than her apathy which weakens his dedication. 
776. She determines whether competition or cooperation prevails in their home. By competing less and cooperating more, she capitalizes on their opposed but compatible natures. It improves her chances of moving him toward indispensability and keeperhood. 
777. Persistently rejecting boys’ offers for first-time sex teaches girls to ‘read’ and evaluate things more important than looks and love—i.e., his conscience, values, attitudes, and true interest in her. 
778. Ignore or pardon red flag character traits to enter a relationship, and girls enter an unknown world without map and compass. 
779. By age 21 she should score 100% on this test: Distinguish a man’s devotion for her as a unique woman from another man’s commitment to join her for a close relationship. 
780. Virtue makes a person shine relative to others. Conscience is virtue honored by strength of character. Virtuous character outshines physical attractiveness over a long marriage. 
Females are both complimented and blessed when men hit on them.
Your physical attractiveness is complimented by his motivation to hit on you rather than someone else. So, what does ‘blessed’ mean in this context? Each hit is a perfect opportunity to promote who and what you are to both yourself and others. Specifically, to earn more respect from other people and thus promote your agenda with more of their goodwill.
More importantly, it provides opportunity to embellish the respect of others for you as person, woman, and your other roles in life. Example: Dignity adds respect to persons. Standing up to stronger sex adds respect to weaker sex. You earn both self-respect and respect of others by assertively (not aggressively) defending your social status, standing, and preferences (married, independent, picky about associates, discreet about sexual matters, sensitive against pushiness, prejudiced against men who don’t know uninvited hit from pleasant approach).
Being a pushover to men on almost any matter is to lose respect or opportunity to gain more. You won’t like this, but saying “I love you” so early in the relationship game and so often before marriage suggests you’re a pushover. Eat those words, make him earn them. Expressing your feelings makes you feel good, of course, but in the long run respect is more important to keep a relationship going.
Relative to men, women can’t have too much respect. It’s the counterbalance to male dominance. That’s why feminine mystery, female modesty, self-centered vanity, and insistent monogamy work so well. Indirectly, those traits let a woman stand up inside and politely strengthen her will against a man’s will. Being so indirect, she doesn’t push any buttons that might offend him. To him, that’s just the way she is—shrouded in mystery, modest to a fault, vain beyond belief, faithful unnecessarily. When those traits are developed and improved at the mirror, she more easily earns additional respect, which means better foundation for a guy’s love.
Did you get that point? Mirror time leads to better love by some man.
You deserve to be blessed but you have to earn it in today’s social scene. As already proposed in earlier posts, a mighty breakthrough awaits you ladies who fear or resent hits especially from ‘undesirables’. It’s a garden path walk into much greater respect for you as person, woman, and all those other things that you are and do. In effect graciousness dealing with ‘undesirables’ (for your life) sells you as highly respectable person. Observers note that they also deserve at least your graciousness, which is an indirect compliment to them, which adds to their respect of you.
I know you neither want to be told how to handle hitters or to change to something you view as fearful or too difficult for your spirit as woman. But you can’t enjoy more of life’s potential advantages unless you change your game plan.
Consequently, its more reason you ladies should welcome all hits and should teach yourselves to gain all the benefits available.
Reminder: Welcome every hit and treat every hitter exactly the same. Hottie, undesirable, or weirdo, exactly the same. In the face of tough times of what to do next, especially those times that discombobulate most people, a woman’s graciousness shines brighter than her attractiveness.
We’re not done with hits; the interconnections are almost endless, but you’ll have to put up with some repetition necessary to sustain the context each time. More tomorrow.