Category Archives: feminine

2820. HAPPY NEW YEAR


Best wishes to all of you. Your company last year was very satisfying.

Ladies, I face a search. What next? I finished my original task and it put me out of business. I drifted away from reader interest. I went too far for everyone but me. It took ten years to complete my objective, but no one wanted the end result. So now I drift.

I know how my doing right for me ended up wrong for others, but that’s okay. I’m quite satisfied with myself.

First day of the year, and I ponder if anything is left in me that others might use in the battle of the sexes. I’m searching for a major theme if there is one.

Some ladies claim they learn easily from my responses to readers’ comments. So your questions are invited.

In the meantime I’ve settled in on one subject that should be of significant interest to readers. At least I’ll try to make it that way.

The subject is: Love is never enough. It’s next, and I view it playing for quite a while.

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Filed under Dear daughter, feminine

2815. Well-liked Article (#72 updated from January 2008)


Subject: Men are submissive too

A sexy man. Men perceive themselves with one primary persona in life—being a man. His sexiness helps, and if it’s not evident, he’ll prove it in bed.

Men don’t voluntarily abandon the hormonal urge of being a man. But they enlarge their persona when coached to do so by one woman. Since improvement requires a man to change, respect is her key to the operating room, submissiveness her surgical instrument.

A man expects to succeed as himself in all his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects of him.

Whatever roles he fits himself into, he knows what he has to do in each. He claims certain domains and proceeds to fulfill his responsibility, overcome obstacles, and produce desirable goals to his satisfaction.

For example, his family needs more money, so he gets a second job. Wife expects more affection, so he washes her car. She expects help with spring cleaning, so he uses the leaf blower inside the house while she’s away. In all cases, he needs control over the appropriate domains of family life for him to be satisfied with himself.

If he’s not satisfied with himself, he’s not likely to be adequate for his woman. She may try to talk him into success, but his self-fulfilling prophecy can too easily prove otherwise. Eventually, they’ll fold as a couple.

It’s far more important that she help him succeed and satisfy himself than satisfy her or the family—if he’s worth keeping. It’s the tap-root of family integrity. People keep doing what they are successful at to themselves, as they see it, or as they want others to perceive it.

Next is about the female side.

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Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2814. Well-liked Article (#67 updated from January 2008)


Subject: Exes, dumpees, and left behinds

Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. Each must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are to be met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her. Using that option demonstrates her superiority to her, but it reveals her incompetence in the real world.

Thus, she recycles herself to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.

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Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2813. IT’S ALL RELATIVE


The purpose of money is your convenience. The purpose of a job is earning your money. Convenience makes appointments and job obligations easier to fulfill.

The clock enables you to schedule your life reliably and teach others to rely on you. By doing so, others make their lives easier and as reliable as you try to make yours.

The result of national wealth is prosperity at your level. Wealth builds as we become more productive creatures; that is, by increasing productivity, aka more output per individual in producing something of value to another. The more that personal schedules fail to provide convenience to others, the less convenient their schedules. The less convenient our schedules, the less productive we become, the less wealth grows, and the less prosperity is available and convenient in home and wallet.

OTOH, as productivity declines, wealth shrinks and causes prosperity to decline. It causes jobs to shrink in number and family budgets to shrink, which reduces the convenience available to couples. It’s another cost to our prosperity induced by Feminism and continued by women grown sloppy in their habits of making and sticking religiously to their own schedules and those of others. Who suffers the most from reduced prosperity? Women and children!

A female habit developed over the past few decades, gained new intensity from the pressures of social media. It now spreads as toxic fumes for business by the Millennial generation. Women have trouble departing whomever they are with at any given moment. As if magnetized, present associates rank higher than those to whom they’re obligated next in their schedule. Tardy for work or appointments is epidemic, and disrespect of others parallels it with equal intensity.

Gals can’t depart present-moment associates—connected by either face or phone—to keep appointments or get to work on time. In the name of children, family, health, accidents, and traffic, any disruption to the lives of others is deemed excusable. Alibis and excuses flourish, and women waste their imaginative talent for lies and distortions.

Being tardy or absent delivers disrespect for others; it inconveniences them to make things convenient for you. However you minimize or deny it, your inconsiderate disruption of their thoughts and schedules generates need for them to adjust, and it sponges them with your disrespect for whatever role they fill in your life.

Women expect tardiness or absence to be excused by good intentions for child care, stable alibis such as monthly period, and routine excuses such as traffic. Unrevealed is lost time deeply involved in social media, where the clock can and is likely disregarded.

Women think all is well, if they fully explain themselves. They expect to be forgiven for the disrespect they show those to whom they don’t show as scheduled. To avoid being called hypocrites, Womanhood sticks together. They don’t judge others who do the same things, and women expect someone else to pay the cost of the convenience they gain with tardiness or absence.

Consequently, the epidemic spreads contagiously because no one treats the disease. Personal convenience comes at the cost of others. It’s much easier for women than men to accept such undeserved gifts.

The bellwether of national wealth fades. IOW productivity declines and wealth shrinks. As wealth shrinks, prosperity declines. As prosperity declines, jobs shrink in number and family budgets shrink in convenience. It’s another cost to our prosperity induced by women and Feminism. Who suffers the most from reduced prosperity? Women and children.

Being tardy or absent delivers disrespect for others; it inconveniences them to make things convenient for you. However you minimize or deny it, your inconsiderate disruption of their thoughts and schedules generates need for them to adjust, and it sponges them with disrespect for whatever role they fill in your life.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, guy, How she loses, Sociology 101, The mind

2812. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Sex Drive


Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

SEX DRIVE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up, sometimes to the point of losing their sexual identity.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life that they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when a woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against penile penetration the first time. The longer she delays it with each man, the more respect she earns, and more respect fuels a man’s love and devotion.

That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from birth to both earn and capitalize on success.

Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:

  1. Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
  2. She has a psychological imperative to assuage the wants of herself or needs of someone else that stimulate her to copulate.
  3. Possessing a primal need of self-importance, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. (She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; the latter enables development of a man’s love and devotion.)
  4. She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (Her primal acceptability of conquest earns a man the privilege that she cooperate with him and his ambitions.)
  5. She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding. Her nature craves it; she can almost never get enough. Especially when her spirits are down, which is quite often. (Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words to enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness, desire, and free will, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process that pleases her, her partner, or to even make unanticipated mistakes.)

Those natural female interests enable women to recognize the male sex drive as different. She sees men energized more urgently, much harder to satisfy in quantity, and more easily satisfied in quality. Such perception empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure are natural motivators for the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life and are often used to override the five hormonal urges cited above.)

Primal motivational urges energize five versions of the male sex drive. These bring sex proactively into a man’s world:

  1. His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field.
  2. He has a life-long physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive. He’s willing to pay a very high price but only to conquer and not for more. The more attractive she is to him, the higher the price he will pay for conquest only. Sex does not bond him, but conquest separates women into two classes. (To willingly and assertively pay the ultimate price of his freedom, he needs more; sex isn’t enough. He seeks the right woman who satisfies him with himself and he identifies as unique, feminine, and so virtuous not even he can achieve penetration the first time. IOW, she’s so hard to get, all his competitor males must also have missed out.)
  3. He has an instinctive and competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
  4. He possesses a steadfast and competitive ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, for which he’s willing to pay the ultimate price. If, that is, he figures he can satisfy himself living with her better than living by himself or someone else.
  5. He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest. Beyond his penetration and for subsequent sexual events, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent. Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it is about to arrive as expected in a moment of orgiastic glory after penetration and as the result of his self-acknowledged excellent performance up to that moment.)

Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward with conquered women. After conquest, a man expects cooperation and thus refuses to compete; he will find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman.

Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He uses his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he pays whatever price she demands. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. Sex with her doesn’t bond him, and so neither her love nor sex will hold him. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and then losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way, because women don’t understand the male nature as men are born.

Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their own nature.

In that case (and more follows tomorrow), women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates the other very much, blame spurs anger, anxieties spread, couples separate, and children self-develop to tunes played by the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.

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Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, Her glory, Jr., marriage, Uncategorized

2811. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Love


Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

LOVE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up.

The multiple expressions of womanly love can be described in four forms. 1) Romantic love, the offspring of infatuation, fades a year or two after a couple’s first sex together. 2) Enduring deep affection with romance embedded, and 3) enduring love for people and things without romantic connections, both of which reward a woman just by its presence in her heart. 4) Mother love sprouts anew and unconditionally after giving birth to each child.

Men have one highly complex form of loving a woman, mate, or wife. Founded on his respect that she has to earn, his devotion grows from his dedication to please her and habit of pleasing himself by pleasing her. Her personal likeability enhances his devotion and he senses pleasure when in her presence.

Complementing that with self-interest, logic, and reason, and her expected loyalty to him alone, he convinces himself that he can be more satisfied living with her than satisfied with himself living alone. It’s the revelation point; he admits to himself that she’s the one to fit into his life, and he decides to propose.

It’s a one-time moment and a man’s version of true love. He convinces himself that he will be more satisfied living with her than with himself or someone else. IOW, admitting true love to himself IS his willingness to commit. He proposes, thereby blindly accepts responsibility for generating success in their marriage, and trusts that his bride will govern their arrangement such that he remains satisfied with himself for marrying her.

Note what’s absent above, her love of him. While her love confirms that he’s worthy of her , it’s less for him and not the convincer or persuader she hopes for. Her love adds to her personal likeability, reinforces his likeability to her, and helps sustain his conviction that she will remain faithful to him. All of which grow a man’s love. But her love of him, however wonderfully she feels convincing him of it, isn’t nearly enough to keep him as she hopes and prays.

Two factors outrank and override both her love of him and good sex as predictors of their future together: 1) His devotion to her. 2) His satisfaction with himself living with her. Without one or both, she’s temporary.

The following dissolves any and all glues shown above and guarantees a couple’s togetherness will end sooner or later: blame, guilt, frustrations, criticisms, irritants, and belittling remarks aimed at husband.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2809. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Compatible


Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

COMPATIBLE. The sexes are born this way, but usually change quite a bit from lessons learned growing up.

Both sexes are born genetically and hormonally capable of living compatibly with a mate. Husband is responsible overall, but wife works out the details that generate success. Also, both spouses are born to get their way when associating with others, and it makes competition the first motivator within individual self-interest.

Women react differently to competition. Before they yield sex first time with each man, they compete to protect their virtue, preserve their dignity, and keep their husbandly candidate trying harder to prove his worth to her. IOW, win her. After she yields sex the first time, both he and she expect that her role is no longer competitive but cooperative.

Were it not for lessons learned that contradict their respective natures, men and women would likely be motivated to live together much more compatibly, comfortably, and longer. IOW, the more masculine he is and she respects him for it, the more feminine she is and he honors her for it, then the more likely their life together will not end in separation. Her respect and his honor, both generously exhibited, make a strong glue.

Moreover, compatibility is strengthened by how men and women differ in three natural and hormone-driven traits: purpose in life, love, and sex drive, each addressed in a new post.

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