Category Archives: feminine

2450. Why Isn’t Sex Enough? I — His Side


For Your Highness Prettybeans, here’s the ‘story for another day’ that you requested.

Is sex enough to keep him with her? A woman knows how to love, nurture, and solicit cooperation. She thinks her ability should be adequate, because she intends to give her all. Therefore, by keeping him satisfied sexually, she should be able to keep him. She’s mistaken. The incentives to keep him mainly interested in her—his ‘keepiness’—lie outside sexual events.

The following is a complex model reduced to simple principles. Of course, small exceptions exist when applied in real life, but non-sexual events produce the best results for keeping a marriage together.

For life: They will primarily judge each other this way. He’s more impressed by what he sees her do. She’s more impressed by what she hears from him. It starts with first encounter.

His role: If he doesn’t invest of himself deeply in order to earn her, his commitment to her will not last long enough to suit her. Furthermore, it’s not his words that invest himself. Actions program the masculine heart. His actions to please her—and not necessarily that please her—contribute, increase his desire,  and promote her promise as mate in his mind and heart.

His primary objective is to earn self-admiration by conquering her for their first sex together. As she diligently resists and still keeps his interest in her, she earns more of his respect. She can’t earn too much. The more she earns, the greater grows the foundation of his love. Thus, the potential for his greatest love arises out of her resistance for the maximum time. But, of course, Nature intervenes and her intensifying love sooner or later wins out over her determined resistance.

Meanwhile, as he searches for her weaknesses and she continues to resist, he discovers that she has qualities that he can admire. The more he searches, the more qualities he uncovers. Each admired quality becomes a virtue to him, and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. But think of that differently from what women think, that virginity is the sacred virtue. In fact, men don’t favor virginity for purity but for the symbolism of beating all those other guys to the main prize.

Which begs the question: Why should females save themselves for their husband? To generate greater self-respect and earn greater respect of men generally and one man in particular, both of which generate greater love in a man, which provides extra insurance that her marriage will be successful enough to fulfill her girlhood hopes and dreams.

Contrary to woman-think, when she pleases him or uses nurturing techniques, she earns very little or nothing by way of his commitment. A man appreciates her pleasing him, but when he accomplishes nothing but is given something, it’s an unearned gift that doesn’t influence him—sex included. IOW, his appreciation doesn’t change his investment of himself, and so his commitment doesn’t deepen. Even her love of him has much less influence with him than with her own emotional bonding.

Also contrary to woman-think, sex doesn’t bond a man, and so he looks for much more. Each woman is unique, but to a marrying man one is more unique than others. He pays little attention to her claims of having the features and qualities he admires as virtues. Not her words, but instead, he judges by her actions.

As requirements, she’s both attractive enough and sexually attractive. She’s also likeable, loveable, loyal, feminine, dependent on his dominance, respectful of who he is, and grateful for what he does.

Of course I exaggerate somewhat, but this principle is valid. A man wants to talk to a pretty female listener. If pretty to him, she qualifies and women should listen more and better. When he talks about himself, it’s a satisfying action that earns a few degrees of commitment (as if one could measure it). If she’s impressed, then he admires himself, the search for which is his prime motivation. The greater satisfaction he finds in talking to her, the greater her chances of keeping him interested in her. (Yes, too much of her talk both about her and even him reduces his interest. He expects her to be his primary listening post and not the reverse. If not now then why later?)

Part of the masculine character is expressing satisfaction with himself to someone. If not his wife, it’s much harder to keep his interests centered in the home.

Given enough chaste time together and enough of his actions to please her as he tries to uncover her weaknesses, he morphs into another character. From man determined to conquer at whatever the cost, he slowly evolves into doing more rather than harder to please her. Trying with ever more determined actions to win her, it programs his heart to appreciate even more her presence in his life, which develops into devotion to her and brightens her prospects for fulfilling her hopes and dreams. Thus, with enough chaste time together, his devotion and personal dedication make their subsequent marriage an easy-to-harmonize lifetime endeavor for her. (The same devotion thing happens immediately to the man who falls in love at first sight, but that event isn’t everyday common.)

Eventually, when satisfied that he has accomplished what it takes to win his choice of a mate, men walk their own way into marriage. Her ability to satisfy his yearning to talk to a pretty woman paved the path to the altar.

That’s part of the man’s side of the marital equation, hers comes next post.

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2448. Male Dominance and Who Handles It: Part IV


Female self-development  is continuous for life. Girls and women have a primal need for a brighter future, and so they focus on shaping tomorrow to match their wishes, intentions, and ambitions. They develop in response to that primal urge.

The present day happens much like they planned it yesterday. Both physically and mentally, they work at it 24/7. Their future isn’t bright enough, if they can do anything else today to improve or achieve more tomorrow. By tirelessly trying to be ahead in their game of life, they develop as smarter and more able to coach others.

Each woman is driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. She also wants help to handle weaknesses, disruptions, catastrophes, and loneliness. A man’s physical strength, mental determination, and drive to achieve best fit her hopes and needs. His natural dominance helps enable him in his helpful role, and so she in effect takes advantage of something she can resent later if she wants to.

Whereas men fear insignificance, a woman fears abandonment by those she endears, especially father and mate. Challenges to her mate’s dominant nature can lead to separation, which in her mind amounts to being left adrift, abandoned. And so, her greatest fear promotes respect of his dominant nature, which encourages her to find ways to use it. It’s natural to her development.

Each female is born pretty and knows it in her heart of hearts. However, prettiness is a belief easily denied and even lost if as a child she’s mistreated or convinced by others or even herself that she’s other than pretty. Nevertheless, she dreams of and longs for the guy who will call her beautiful. When a man’s thoughts run along that line, she accepts his dominance as just part of the deal of thinking her beautiful.

Women seek self-importance, which they earn by making themselves valuable to others. It’s an amazing paradox too. It doesn’t work to impress directly that she is important. Her self-importance improves by uplifting someone else with her gratitude for them, which adds to their worthiness, which returns to her indirectly as she’s important to them.

Recognizing her man’s dominance, such as by directly showing respect for who he is, helps settle their indirect negotiation of how much of his dominance is acceptable to her, which induces him to back off trying to prove it unnecessarily. IOW, acknowledging his dominant role adds to her importance, which advances her development for dealing with men or man.

More paradoxical for raising kids because each is also a self-developer, she indirectly adds to their importance by being grateful for who and what they are to her. Their gratitude then returns to her in the form of her importance to them.

Consequently, her path to happiness is first finding self-gratitude in who and what she is in her life, which enables her to be grateful for others and express it so that it returns to reinforce her sense of importance, which generates her happiness. Shortened for clarity, happiness flows from her gratefulness for herself and the people around her and things that add to or signify her importance (his dominant nature, obedient children, beautiful gown, jewelry gift, or new washer/dryer).

Driven by DNA or genes to try harder and not quit, women endlessly develop themselves. They can always do better. Born to be a good person, they do good and keep on trying. It confirms their goodness, importance, and adds to development maturity.

Their best contributions come from getting men to do good, for which men have only the ability and not the ambition until women teach them otherwise. As wife coaches husband to do good, he becomes better in her eyes, which adds to her importance and fulfills her primal ambition to do good and thereby prove her goodness. It may also reduce his inclination to have to impose and prove his dominance to her when they next disagree. Thus, benefits redound to her as she coaches hubby to do good things.

A woman senses this as a beneficial tradeoff: Wife yields dominance of the present to husband in order to solicit his support for her dominance of their future together. She doesn’t always succeed, but a default motivation stirs her to never stop trying to get her way, which fits her determination to be important, which advances her development to be good, which makes her a good woman, which men expect when they marry.

Those are some of the arguments I would make to explain why patriarchy has been around for seven or so millennia and the matriarchy dreams of feminists are wishful more than achievable.

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2445. Male Dominance and Who Handles It: Part I


Depending on one’s belief, either God designs or evolution produces two specific genders. It matters not which belief is right; the end result is the same. One sex is dominant and the other superior. The battle of the sexes and marital compatibility spring from the difference.

We all learn by living and can easily conclude the male gender as dominant but not the female gender as superior. Men won’t admit it, and women keep quiet about their advantage. Disclosure produces disadvantage for women. Just the claim tampers with manly significance (aka ego) and stirs men to defend their turf at least with denial and perhaps with aggression and even violence against claimants.

The male sex claims physical superiority as ultimate right to dominate. The female gender quietly and discretely imposes the unique advantage it inherits at birth. Specifically, the ability to build, manage, and even restore relationships. It’s the relationship expertise that men lack.

Women, however, have problems with this principle about socializing with others. That person who has exclusive ability also inherits the responsibility for whatever happens. Thus, female expertise makes each woman responsible for relationship development and management, success and failure. Of course women object to that principle but another exists. If one doesn’t accept full responsibility, they lack the (self-assumed) authority to do the job well, which weakens self-confidence, which leads to unsolvable problems. Squabbles start the moment two people are responsible for the same thing, which is a cardinal principle of effective leadership. Consequently, by following her nature with a sense of empowerment for producing a good relationship, women exploit their superior expertise. The more she feels singularly responsible, the better relationship she will produce.

The feminine woman learns more easily than others to live with male dominance; it fits her persona because of other abilities. Whatever feminine women can’t live with, they learn to indirectly outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men in some way that makes their life tolerable or even blessed with unique female abilities. By doing so, it enables them to suppress aggression; make domestic peace normal; recruit masculine expertise to provide and protect women and children; generate compatibility with a mate; and pursue female hopes, dreams, and happiness found with a man who helps all along the way.

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2443. Journey to Feminine — Part 10


Acrimony. Relationships shorten and get progressively worse in the modern world of masculine-style sexual freedom. Men and women meet, interact, date, court, and even marry. He delivers attention and persuasion, and she provides unobligated sex. It’s done for fun and lust according to mutual taste. She may even initiate. According to their gender value system, men couldn’t have it any better. But many men know differently and search for a better life, which invariably includes a good woman. They, however, are hard to identify. So men stick to the modern game plan, sex without obligation, while they hope for something better to come along.

In that feminist inspired world, graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, men resist marriage, and husbands respond disruptively to feminist attitudes in their castle. Respect, courtesy, and good manners are neither expected nor practiced. Masculine strengths and manly civility are purposely underappreciated, and men resent, resist, and often retaliate. Male aggression arises easily.

Deep devotion to one woman is almost mutually exclusive, what with the feminist spirit and expectations. Commitment usually means temporary. Husbands too easily shift focus to another blossom. Wives seek escape from self-inflicted misery with a man to the misery of being without one.

Both sexes sour on their own marriage; frustrated wives turn against men and wounded men turn against marriage. The institution of family withers and wrinkles as if dying of old age.

That’s the feminist model and its consequences. It’s what feminine-minded women face as they try to fabricate more lasting relationships. The competition isn’t easy, so they use a better model that offers so much more to their man and works better and easier for themselves.

Matrimony. The feminine woman causes those incompatible effects to weaken, fade, or die. Motivated by the glorious female nature that floods her heart, feminine behaviors generate graciousness, gratitude, respect, courtesy, and good manners to salve the wounds of feminism. She knows how to tame and prevent male aggression. She appreciates masculine strengths and manly civility as essential for her to have a good life. It’s unusual for her man to resent, resist, and retaliate against her behaviors; he appreciates her femininity too much. She expects to see and depends on his firm devotion, permanent commitment, and her intent and ability to keep her man. She produces minimal misery because of her ability to discourage and avoid it.

Thus, the feminine woman adds color to a man’s B&W world in ways that he wants to be part of her development of relationship and family.

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2439. Limbo: Not for Ladies


At post 2438, Her Highness That Horse Is Dead described two middle aged single women who eagerly intruded and did the limbo planned for kids at a church sponsored event. She thinks it prudish and unladylike. Is it, she asks? Or should she just relax and join the fun?

Prudish? Not at all. All women should have such taste; it’s their nature until they give it up. Not for moral reasons, although that helps, but ladylike for the necessaries to capture and hold a man for life. Men want to marry a virtuous woman, and feminine women start off appearing more virtuous than others.

Since perception is reality, highly feminine behavior initiates virtuous thoughts in a man and inspires gentlemanly behavior. More importantly, it diverts a man’s interest away from her as sex object and reinforces her as potential candidate for something else. Ladies are more easily looked at for likeability than for thoughts of what never ceases, conquest.

Ladies neither show off their talents nor show off as men do. They rely on more feminine styles, such as indirectness, cooperation, and charm. By not showing off talents and skills that are not obvious, it suggests that men have to look deep to uncover female goodness. A lady comes across as a challenge to uncover what she has to offer as a mate, and any woman does it best by pushing sex into the background before it can be brought up.

Showing off as men do indicates that she is available for unobligated sex, since that’s what men do. Duplicating masculine behavior and thoughts springs from dislike of herself as a woman, which prompts women unwittingly and with minimal prompting to divulge weaknesses.

Ladies use indirectness and patiently encourage men important to them to discover their qualities more accidentally. It makes qualities more easily admired, which converts qualities into virtues, which accumulate to make her virtuous, which can fulfill a man’s desire to marry a virtuous woman, which causes him to find her fascinating, which tickles his fancy to have her as his woman, which encourages him to consider marriage, which makes her appear promising as an asset for his present life, which prompts him to shop for a ring and finalize his thoughts, which enables him to finally accumulate the courage to act, which brings a proposal out of him, which invites her acceptance, which he then escapes ceremonial matters by turning them over to her and her mother, which enables him to just arrive at the altar at the appointed time.

IOW, he will go along with marriage if she qualifies in his heart, if it’s his idea, and if she does all the work expect nudge, nag, or pressure him.

By exploiting the motivational forces that men and women inherit at birth, that’s how ladies wring out a proposal of marriage. The easy stage first. He uncovers her interest in him, which comes easily to her when these are present: infatuation, lust, imagination, and curiosity about possibilities as she sees the future. Second stage, he earns her as potential mate; that is, he proves to her that she is truly important to him now and hopefully will be forever. Her infatuation blossoms into love, which is a necessary step for mutual love to develop. Third stage: He finds her so likeable that he can devote his interests to her, which opens the door for his love to develop. Fourth stage: Their love becomes mutual when he sees that he’s likeable enough to her to be loyal to him.

Doing the limbo broadcasts to men that she has boobs, which reminds she also has a vagina. But all that advertising does little to take middle age single women closer to marriage. Maybe closer to sex and companionship, but not marriage.

So, That Horse Is Dead correctly presumes that spreading female legs under the limbo bar does not serve women well for what most hope to achieve in life.

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2438. Journey to Feminine — Group 09


To fully grasp the benefits of Femininity, one must examine how Feminism has  spread throughout intersex relations. Unaware to women, many feminist spirits underlie every relationship. We almost never pay attention to our habits unless they cause problems, and feminist habits cause more problems to their man than to the habit owner. If unmentioned by a man, which is now politically incorrect and not done too much, women thus know little about how to avoid being feminist. Of course, the truly feminine almost automatically obliterates feminist-like habits.

  1. Feminism blames men and the spirit pushes feminist-like women to compete with their man in domains he considers his own. Example: tell him HOW to do almost any task rather than WHAT to do. Competitive frustration follows. The HOW implies inadequacy, while masculinity implies the opposite. Highly feminine ladies know better.
  2. Without much contrary thought, feminist-like women find their man doesn’t measure up to feminist-defined expectations about male behavior. It leads to finger-pointing and fault-finding, which escalates over time. Mutual trust and gratitude decline. She’s prompted into nagging, which is just a higher gear for speeding a man out of her life. The bible also scorns the ‘quarrelsome wife’ in Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15-16. Femininity discourages such waste of relationship benefits.
  3. Feminism in the home prompts women to adopt the male preference for directness and abandon the female preference of indirectness. Feminists weaken their natural influence. Even worse, men don’t appreciate women that ‘get in his face’. It makes her a competitor and he takes offense, perhaps tagging her as a nag. The feminine lady reverses doing those things; she knows better what works with a man and has little need to show off to get her way.
  4. Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to look more for their man’s imperfections rather than manly leadership and strengths. Eventually, a man tires, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows. OTOH, the feminine lady finds gratefulness in his manly character, capability, and other blessings.
  5. Matrimony can evolve into acrimony where graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, and husbands react disruptively to wives. Where respect, courtesy, and good manners disappear from the females’ instinctive play book, then male aggression escalates. Feminine ladies intuitively know how to avoid those things and don’t let them happen.

Nowadays, the progeny of radical feminists continue to belittle and seek the demise of the feminine wife. It’s a political thing to diminish wifely influence. And so, men and women and husbands and wives are encouraged to find fault with each other and thus make no permanent alliances. It’s the war on women, realized. Even though at one time wives were the generators of American greatness by leading and encouraging their men to succeed at work, American feminists discourage more of it as a political objective.

 

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2437. Journey to Feminine — Group 08


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