- The more self-respectingly and graciously she repeatedly defeats a man’s attempts to get her into bed the first time, the more charmingly he treats and deliberately pursues her. Denial means he must try harder. Most men do if they find her more attractive than sister females.
- The more deliberately a man pursues an unconquered woman, the deeper his investment of self. As pleasing her continues and with his thinking it will make her yield sooner, his actions slowly morph into devotion. That is, the first and most coagulating step toward a man loving a woman. In background, his actions program his heart to favor her over others.
- As a man deliberately seeks to uncover a woman’s weakness to facilitate their first sex together, he discovers qualities that he can admire. Each is a virtue, and men seek to marry a virtuous woman. The longer she holds out, the more virtuous she appears.
- Women know instinctively and intuitively how to indirectly reveal their best qualities. What a man figures out carries more weight than what she tells him. Personal comfort, independence, informality, and familiarity work against her. Mirror time, modest attire, mystery, and friendliness work for her.
- In men, self-pride is an outgrowth of inborn self-respect reinforced by accomplishments and female attention. In women, self-like is an outgrowth of inborn self-love reinforced by relationship success and male attention. If it sounds too obscure, think of this. Self-pride and self-like motivate men and women respectively to be more open and outgoing with each other.
- Every man expects to be appreciated by most women for who he is and what he does. It can make men obnoxious, and the woman who likes herself greatly as a woman can put up with such men. She can overlook faults to find blessings. Mirror time and dressing up enables her to like herself more and thereby find men much more tolerable or acceptable than obnoxious.
Category Archives: feminine
- When a woman gives her attention to every man seeking to talk, she demonstrates respect for the male gender, which makes more men pay more attention to her. A man can easily become envious and be challenged to pursue a woman, when he sees another man use manly talking points to hold her attention.
- Until she earns his respect, a man expects to ignore her or dominate their dialogue. Unless he’s just after sex, he doesn’t care to associate if she doesn’t respect him, and she demonstrates it best by just listening.
- Men respect women two ways. 1) According to how well each female denies a man’s conquest. The more denials over extended time, the more respect she earns and it lasts for his life. It’s natural programming that has the effect of being hardwired. It doesn’t mean he will stay with her, however, just respect her. 2) According to her accomplishments, both what and how well, that he can admire.
- When a man is satisfied with his marriage, he is satisfied with himself for having chosen that way of life. Her love helps, but it’s not the linchpin motivator that she thinks it is.
- When a man is satisfied with both his wife and living with her, he is satisfied that he chose well. Her love helps, but it’s not the kingpin that she thinks it is.
- A husband may remain devoted enough to stay with his wife as she changes—e.g., appearance, personality, likeability, loyalty—from the gal to whom he proposed. But his devotion may weaken, and he finds it more difficult to ignore the attractive but unconquered women everywhere. After all, a man’s urge to conquer lasts for life, and other attractions can bring new accomplishments and satisfactions to displace marital disappointments.
- Women share self-love but men don’t share self-respect; it must be earned. Women only have to show sincere interest in a man to start earning it. He quickly presumes she would also be interested in his greatness, and he proceeds if she will listen attentively, which he interprets as respectfully. It’s how women meet men successfully. He talks, she listens.
- If females want to do better, they should be much quieter about themselves. Full disclosure kills mystery and nullifies challenges. Women improve both performance and luck by being reluctant to talk about themselves while showing sincere interest in each man.
- Men tire easily when listening to women who seldom stop. As if they have ADHD, their mind wanders away or to something they want to say. Sensitive women learn how to compensate.
- Poor communication is often cited for a couple’s problems. It’s result more than cause. Personality no longer likeable, unrespected mate, or mismatched self-interest is more likely the cause.
- Conquest stops a conquered woman earning any more of a man’s respect, the unconditional kind that lasts for life. He paid whatever price she demanded and expects to ‘own’ her and their sexual agenda.
Perfectionism is a domestic disease that cripples homes and families. Women are susceptible.
Too many girls are raised to be perfectionists. For example, perfectionist at loving someone; expecting to be loved perfectly by her definition of how a man should love her; or maintaining her perfectly appointed and cared for home, kids, family, or marriage. IOW, she likes herself according to how hard she tries to be perfect.
Pushing her perfectionism onto others will likely see her fail the test of successful wife, mother, or both. If a woman needs to make anyone or anything perfect, she should first develop her feminine qualities and attributes as described in Female Blessings from Birth at the top of blog articles.
Those blessings can help any woman be considered great as female, woman, wife, mother, friend, and lover. That is, as close as she can get to being perfect in the eyes of others. It amounts to this. She’s near-perfect when others see little need for her improvement at making females feel good about their importance and males to admire who they are and what they do. Everyone develops themselves, and the ‘perfect’ wife and mom is the woman who helps them develop as they seek to follow their dreams.
A woman has no need to be perfect for her man. She only needs to keep him satisfied with her, their way of life, their kids, and with himself. It means she only has to keep herself satisfied that those around her are developing well and satisfied with progress toward their dreams and what they hope to become or do.
If she expects perfection out of herself or others, she becomes the judge and jury and runs her domestic show with grating noise instead of feminine music well-harmonized. As she tries to get anyone to be more like her, trying to be perfect in thought or deed, she ignores this fact of life. Perfection is impossible. Pursuing it in any form grounds relationships on the sharp, slashing coral reefs that surround home and life.
At post 2703 Her Highness SeekandFind triggered this article.
She inquired, “is the secret to marriage, from a woman’s point of view, making her husband feel important at all times, while subtlety maintaining her own self worth?”
My response: Close but not quite.
From the woman’s point of view, the secret to marriage is to do it all herself. Both seek to get their way with the other, but only she has the skill to balance the competition and make their relationship harmonious.
She makes her husband satisfied with himself—neither happy nor important, just satisfied is all he needs—for having chosen her and living with her. Having attained the skill to keep him satisfied with himself, it frees her to use free will and develop the home and family life aimed at fulfilling her girlhood dream.
As long as he’s satisfied living with her, he plays an adjunct involvement role. Even though he’s the ultimate boss, boasting of his ultimacy fades under her gracious charm, quick wit solving present-day problems, and stubbornness at keeping herself focused on brightening the future.
By doing all that, she makes herself important, finds happiness to the extent she does it gratefully, and spreads her love routinely and graciously to confirm her self-worth. It’s all in her nature to exploit, but she has to make their relationship stable and inseparable.
Here are a few more thoughts to help make the secret work for her.
- Does her importance satisfy him? Not really! It’s what she does with her sense of importance to enhance her abilities and those things that make husband proud to have her.
- Does showering him with her love satisfy him? Not really! He’s already satisfied; he accepted her love as adequate to ensure her loyalty before he ever proposed. He prefers being taken for granted rather than be inflicted with smother love.
- Do hints of her admiration satisfy him? Yes, he naturally assumes she admires him. Indirect mentions are all that is needed to confirm it. Trying too hard, such as when he’s depressed or lazy, doesn’t work well. Her motivation appears as effort to uplift him, which he interprets as effort to change him, which he resists and resents.
If he’s not worth her effort, they are not matched well. If she’s not worth his effort, she’s not doing it right.
Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?
A. The strongest magnets in the marital world are these. Her likeability to him and his likeability to her as he sees it reflected from what she does — more than what she says — to keep him satisfied with himself. Men lack but women possess the relationship expertise to make all that happen. Consequently, wife has to take charge. She has to keep herself likeable to him and show that he’s likeable to her by doing whatever it takes to keep him satisfied with himself. It’s how she runs the marital show.
By maximizing mutual likeability, smarter wives generate the greatest insurance against their man cheating. By following just a few of the ‘wrongs’ described below, less-alert wives may encourage masculine infidelity.
The less-feminine woman can much too easily drive her man to cheat. She doesn’t care or can’t understand how her actions program husband against her interests. Actions and words that wife considers necessary very often register differently with hubby. For example, husband’s reactions to her unsolicited advice, recurring complaints, and constructive criticism cripple her likeability.
The bullets that follow describe what wives do contrary to husbandly interests that adversely impact mutual likeability and initiate husband’s thoughts of another woman. When a man is dissatisfied with his woman, self-satisfaction as a man becomes more important to him than that of a husband. IOW, for example, if wife tends to emasculate him, he looks to restore his self-image as a man rather than as a husband.
Here are some examples that work contrary to a husband’s interests.
- She loses or never had enough self-gratitude as a woman to make a good wife. She feels undeserving. She finds fault in life and blames others rather than finding gratefulness for who she is and what she has. Mutual likeability declines.
- She doesn’t respect husband enough for who he is as person, man, husband, friend, lover, and father. She caught him but now considers him to be inadequate, at least partially. She probably could have done better, which curtails her pride in him and reduces her potential to be faithful as he views her loyalty. Her likeability declines.
- She doesn’t depend on him enough for what he does as provider, protector, producer, fixer-upper, and rescuer when they need a recovery. Thus, she effectively admits that he’s less than necessary and under appreciated. She’s less likeable.
- Some wives continually complain about far too much. Husbands have one of three reactions: a) What he can fix, he does. b) What he can’t fix, he feels guilty because he can’t relieve his woman’s disappointment. Men don’t accept guilt from someone else and he resents it. c) Her complaints amount to just chatter or gossip that are meaningless to him. By not learning how he reacts to her complaints, she begins to complain about his having too little empathy or paying too little attention to her. New complaints trigger the same reactions as before.
- She doesn’t express her gratitude enough for how he enhances their life together. She takes him too far down the road that she abhors for herself—she takes him for granted. Men don’t argue against being taken for granted. However, when it morphs into his dissatisfaction with who he is and what he does, her likeability begins to fade.
- Because she doesn’t get enough attention and affection, he doesn’t live up to her expectations. She thinks he doesn’t deserve a lot of respect, confirmation of her dependence, and her gratitude. Mutual likeability declines.
- If her expectations change after they marry, she becomes a different woman than the bride he expected to live with. It disappoints a husband and weakens her likeability.
- She feels denied his attention, affection, and recognition of her contributions and importance. It programs her heart with resentment, resistance, and eventual bitterness. She questions the rightness of husband’s presence in her life. If he detects it, he takes offense, feels dissatisfied, and her likeability shrinks.
- She begrudges his always getting his way in present-day matters. Her competitive spirit drives her to resent him, even though he’s willing to let her run their relationship as she aims it into the future. Resentment poisons a woman’s likeability.
In short, the heart and mind that governs a wife’s life on behalf of wedded harmony determines how her marriage will proceed and succeed. Husband is in charge of keeping them together as a couple, she’s in charge of making married life worthwhile and satisfying.
Q. What should wives consider to keep husband faithful?
A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why? Two great unknowns float within marriages of all sizes and shapes. 1) By marrying, she expects a multitude of marital blessings, benefits, and improvements, and thinks that he is the same. Not so! He expects to be satisfied with having married her, and everything has to fit under that umbrella. 2) Men are born with the primal urge to spread their seed without fear of consequence, which translates for wives to understand that husbands yearn to conquer other women until and unless they commit themselves to evasion in honor of their wife. How does she do that?
The most successful wives are likeable to their husbands, and they learn to bridge most of these seven natural divides that exist within a relationship.
- Contrary to woman-think, a husband considers himself responsible for the success of his marriage. She runs the show, but he considers himself the final arbiter about success and failure. When he proposed, he assumed responsibility. He never plans to fail at anything he undertakes and only by accepting responsibility can he maximize his ability to prevent failure.
- Also contrary to woman-think, his judgment about success or failure rests on his determination that he’s either satisfied or dissatisfied living with her and with himself.
- This is man-think. A wife’s complaints mean that it’s husband’s fault, and he should fix it. If he can he does; if he can’t then he’s dissatisfied with himself. As her unfixable complaints accumulate, dissatisfaction with himself makes her less likeable and living with her less satisfying. Consequently, wives who frequently complain weaken their own likeability, which opens husband’s eyes as to what lies outside their home.
- A man doesn’t love the same way as women do. His emotional and motivational forces differ greatly. His love is based on pleasing himself by pleasing her, having her as his close possession, finding self-admiration for his work effort on her behalf, and satisfying himself with the process of life that includes her either imagined or deeply embedded with him. IOW, she finds love in her heart and doesn’t question the specifics. He finds love in his mind after concluding she’s so appealing and likeable that his efforts on her behalf satisfy him more than he expects with other women.
- Both sexes are born to get their way, which stimulates competition at which men are naturally expert. However, men will not compete with their own woman. They rely on physicality or the pressures of dominance to win. Or, they withdraw to avoid losing to their mate. Losing to the weaker sex is to be avoided, and it becomes habitual in boyhood.
- The smarter girls and young women learn best that they can get their way by cooperating to get their way in future affairs rather than insisting on getting their way in the present. By not learning that lesson, some wives do wrong things that corrupt present life for their man, and it makes wives less likeable.
- Suffering anger, disappointment, and frustration of not getting her way in matters of the heart, a woman finds her marriage in need of new management, even though she’s the only manager available. Men don’t know how and find little interest in trying. To a man, he’s either in a relationship or not; he sees little wrong except as he’s dissatisfied with her, living with her, or himself for having married her.
Wives are the key to making their man faithful. He either learns to honor her above all others, or he likely hunts for other attractions.