Category Archives: Fickle female

2815. Well-liked Article (#72 updated from January 2008)

Subject: Men are submissive too

A sexy man. Men perceive themselves with one primary persona in life—being a man. His sexiness helps, and if it’s not evident, he’ll prove it in bed.

Men don’t voluntarily abandon the hormonal urge of being a man. But they enlarge their persona when coached to do so by one woman. Since improvement requires a man to change, respect is her key to the operating room, submissiveness her surgical instrument.

A man expects to succeed as himself in all his relationship roles. He focuses primarily on provider-protector and needs a lot of feminine coaching to fully accept the friend, faithful mate, husband, father, affection-giver, and devoted-lover roles that his woman expects of him.

Whatever roles he fits himself into, he knows what he has to do in each. He claims certain domains and proceeds to fulfill his responsibility, overcome obstacles, and produce desirable goals to his satisfaction.

For example, his family needs more money, so he gets a second job. Wife expects more affection, so he washes her car. She expects help with spring cleaning, so he uses the leaf blower inside the house while she’s away. In all cases, he needs control over the appropriate domains of family life for him to be satisfied with himself.

If he’s not satisfied with himself, he’s not likely to be adequate for his woman. She may try to talk him into success, but his self-fulfilling prophecy can too easily prove otherwise. Eventually, they’ll fold as a couple.

It’s far more important that she help him succeed and satisfy himself than satisfy her or the family—if he’s worth keeping. It’s the tap-root of family integrity. People keep doing what they are successful at to themselves, as they see it, or as they want others to perceive it.

Next is about the female side.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2814. Well-liked Article (#67 updated from January 2008)

Subject: Exes, dumpees, and left behinds

Girls and women repeatedly spend time as ex-girlfriend, ex-lover, ex-live in, ex-wife. Whether searching, shacking up, or married, women repeatedly bounce from one misery to another interrupted frequently with love that doesn’t last and often with a new child. First with a guy and then without, and then with a guy and then without, and then….

Males are just males. Mothers, girls, and wives turn them into promising boys and mature men that please or displease females.

Every man expects he will be great as a mate—by masculine standards, that is. Each must be taught otherwise, if female expectations are to be met.

Sexual encounters do not improve men, because sex neither bonds nor changes them for female advantage. The actions and reactions of women withholding intercourse teach men to adopt female-friendly behaviors and try harder to please females.

When there’s a shortage of unmarried sex all across society, it shapes masculine thinking toward goodness and what women appreciate. Trying to qualify for sex by searching for a female’s weaknesses, a man coincidentally learns about her non-sexual strengths and qualities of value to him. His love needs that base, if it’s to endure beyond the fading of lust, infatuation, and romantic love.

The presence of unmarried sex all across modern society shapes masculine thinking against what women appreciate. The ease of bouncing blossom to blossom lures men away from spending very much effort on females and especially the baggage-laden interests of one. Also, male dominance intensifies.

Modern women don’t rise to the challenge of relationship management required to succeed as a couple. Instead, they act less feminine, more masculine, and objectify themselves for trading in the sexual marketplace.

When relationship mistakes and failures become evident, she dumps him before he dumps her. Using that option demonstrates her superiority to her, but it reveals her incompetence in the real world.

Thus, she recycles herself to the dreaded ex side of life. Her lament: ♫Where oh when ♫is my next boyfriend? She sighs and sponges up the sympathy and encouragement of her girlfriends. But the next hook up restarts the cycle.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2812. A Special Recap for an Upcoming Bride: Sex Drive

Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.

SEX DRIVE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up, sometimes to the point of losing their sexual identity.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life that they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when a woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against penile penetration the first time. The longer she delays it with each man, the more respect she earns, and more respect fuels a man’s love and devotion.

That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from birth to both earn and capitalize on success.

Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:

  1. Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
  2. She has a psychological imperative to assuage the wants of herself or needs of someone else that stimulate her to copulate.
  3. Possessing a primal need of self-importance, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. (She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; the latter enables development of a man’s love and devotion.)
  4. She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (Her primal acceptability of conquest earns a man the privilege that she cooperate with him and his ambitions.)
  5. She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding. Her nature craves it; she can almost never get enough. Especially when her spirits are down, which is quite often. (Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words to enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness, desire, and free will, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process that pleases her, her partner, or to even make unanticipated mistakes.)

Those natural female interests enable women to recognize the male sex drive as different. She sees men energized more urgently, much harder to satisfy in quantity, and more easily satisfied in quality. Such perception empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure are natural motivators for the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life and are often used to override the five hormonal urges cited above.)

Primal motivational urges energize five versions of the male sex drive. These bring sex proactively into a man’s world:

  1. His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field.
  2. He has a life-long physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive. He’s willing to pay a very high price but only to conquer and not for more. The more attractive she is to him, the higher the price he will pay for conquest only. Sex does not bond him, but conquest separates women into two classes. (To willingly and assertively pay the ultimate price of his freedom, he needs more; sex isn’t enough. He seeks the right woman who satisfies him with himself and he identifies as unique, feminine, and so virtuous not even he can achieve penetration the first time. IOW, she’s so hard to get, all his competitor males must also have missed out.)
  3. He has an instinctive and competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
  4. He possesses a steadfast and competitive ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, for which he’s willing to pay the ultimate price. If, that is, he figures he can satisfy himself living with her better than living by himself or someone else.
  5. He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest. Beyond his penetration and for subsequent sexual events, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent. Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it is about to arrive as expected in a moment of orgiastic glory after penetration and as the result of his self-acknowledged excellent performance up to that moment.)

Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward with conquered women. After conquest, a man expects cooperation and thus refuses to compete; he will find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman.

Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He uses his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he pays whatever price she demands. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. Sex with her doesn’t bond him, and so neither her love nor sex will hold him. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and then losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way, because women don’t understand the male nature as men are born.

Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their own nature.

In that case (and more follows tomorrow), women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates the other very much, blame spurs anger, anxieties spread, couples separate, and children self-develop to tunes played by the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, Her glory, Jr., marriage, Uncategorized

2805. Well-liked Article (#66 updated from January 2008)

A woman easily mismanages her relationship when she exhibits female tendencies that harden her heart for cooperation and soften her head into competing with her man. The following mismanagement tendencies do not cause breakup. The cumulative effects make their relationship intolerable to her man.

  1. Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions regarding him and others.
  2. Busyness motivated by dislike of herself when idle.
  3. Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.
  4. Dedication to pursuing her personal agenda rather than their agenda as couple.
  5. Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.
  6. Fearsomeness brought on by mistakes that she thinks might be repeated.
  7. Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.
  8. Habitually blaming others to escape being blamed herself.
  9. Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.
  10. Loneliness imagined when he’s not with her.
  11. Lonesomeness blamed on husband’s absence at work.
  12. Moodiness that flows from inability to control events that satisfy herself.
  13. Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.
  14. Pill addiction caused by sense of inadequacy to feel good about herself.
  15. Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.
  16. Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to exclusively steer their bus.
  17. Selfishness never un-taught to her in childhood.
  18. Sloppiness or lack of attention to him in the company of his friends and competitors.
  19. Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.
  20. Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.

Those mismanagement tendencies are mostly indirect causes of breakup. Some of it exists in each woman. However, the undesirable effects—more competition and less cooperation—accumulate in their man, and their relationship grows more intolerable to him.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, How she wins, marriage

Blog 2802. Women Cause Porn to Grow

Big Picture. We are in midst of a growing trend of women less able to find, capture, and keep a man. The epidemic grows. Hotties fade into has-beens. Crazies become the new standard. Wives join the crowd outside the home either as dumpees or fattened-up copycats with husbands too porn-habituated to leave their wives. The porn industry and lesbian and gay communities grow as the result.

Little Picture. I cut the subject short.

  • Unable to keep a man, wives and gals are either turning or remaining single and alone for life. Pleading equality or other alibi disrespectful of men, women overeat much as men do and expect their future together to remain as they matched up when women were more trim. It’s a complex picture of causes and effects that women ignore at their misery.
  • Their sex drives differ. Men are sexually motivated by their imagination. Promise lures them. Curiosity energizes them. Imagination motivates them to get moving. Touching and fondling spurs arousal. With intercourse a man seeks to establish dominance and confirm his ability. He seeks to satisfy himself either as conqueror or partner. That’s his sex act, his nature in action.
  • Husbands continue through life expecting to live with the same gal they vowed to live with forever. Each satisfies himself that his choice has most of what he expects. That is, attractiveness to his eyes, mutual excitement from his touch, pleasing voice, pleasant scent, great kisses, and all wrapped into the trim sheath of a supportive partner who makes him feel good about himself. (Trim, as opposed to thin, in that some fat may be present when he proposes. It’s the future expansion of her body, if nothing else upstages it, that breaks the connection with husband.)
  • Her sex drive does not depend on how he looks or feels. It operates in response to how he treats and handles her. Consquently, husbands grow fat after marriage without the effect that she produces with her excess fat, and wives plead for equality to alibi for overeating. OTOH, his sex drive is energized by how she looks and feels; his imagination is the all-powerful motivator behind her appeal and his interest and drive.
  • A causal connection exists between excess fat on the female body and men retreating to porn for sexual stimulation. Fat-caused physical attractiveness deteriorates but it’s secondary. The primary motivator is the discouraging absence of exciting touching, fondling, and arousing stimulation. Touching/fondling holds a man’s interest, stirs his curiosity, and awakens his imagination. If wife’s fat is excess to what husband can tolerate, porn works as substitute for sex habits made suitable by blaming her for lack of self-respect to care better for herself.
  • I expect women have fun in overeating in disregard for what men think, because one root of female behavior is now unwisely based on feminist disrespect of men. However, feminist-think ignores the male nature in hopes of changing it. Men do not respect women who don’t respect themselves; overeating is out of character, disrespectful, and self-defeating for females—as men see it.
  • Men can’t love a woman they can’t respect. Therefore, excess fat prevents a woman being both respected and loved.  

Thus, women directly drive men toward porn by taking away the excitement of men touching, fondling, and activating their arousal with the female body. Indirectly, men lose respect and love from the lack of self-respect in excessively fat women.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2787. Screen Him and His Mother Together

If following her nature, a woman wants a good man as she defines good. In today’s social and domestic marketplaces, both a clear definition and good men are absent. According to women, that is. Men will argue the contrary all day long, but they neither make it clear nor right.

An old maxim says, he will treat you like he treats his mother. Keep that thought in mind, as I think you should spend more time in the company of your dates and their mothers together and even separately if your man is not available.

On her turf, his turf, and even your turf, check out how treats her. Then take it to the next level. Analyze specifics such as these examples:

  • Does he listen attentively to her? What techniques does she use to capture and hold his attention?
  • Does she wait at doors for his opening of them? Hold the car door? How else does she show her respect of him?
  • Is his respect of her so sincere that it would happen even if you were not present?
  • Is she satisfied with both herself and him? Does he read and accept her satisfaction in him?
  • Does she seek to impress him or for him to impress her?
  • Does she avoid whiny and complaining chatter? She fair minded as opposed to seeking equality in all that she manages?
  • Does he help her with big things? Or just little things? How does she solicit his help, or just wait for him to detect her need and then act?
  • Does the good order of her house convince you she had high standards and expectations when he was growing up?
  • How much of her childhood influence remains in his adult character? Do you see it when alone with him?

A good movie shows off a mother who does most things right, if you measure her effort by her sons’ resounding goodness. I recommend Gifted Hands, which was made from Ben Carson’s autobiography. Tough moms harden boys into pleasing mom forever, which makes them good men.

Now, ladies, you are much more skilled than I about reading people and situations. My examples above are intended to get you started. There’s a lot more you can discover in the relationship of boyfriend and his mother.

I’m trying to foster this point in your thinking, your man is as good as his mother shaped him in childhood. Some remnants of her effort should be visible when they are together.

If mother didn’t teach him well, he ‘filled out’ his childhood by adapting his character, values, standards, and expectations according to teen peers. He’s no better than his fellow adultolescents. The early and not late childhood foretells a man will qualify as good for a girlfriend aimed at becoming his prospective wife.

The measuring stick that will help serve you is time spent in the company of boyfriend and his mother. If he does propose, you have a good feeling that he will treat you good. Befriend your future mother-in-law, and you’ll earn her help rather than no help or even disdain.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, Home CEO, marriage, nurturing, Uncategorized

2772. Pursue Sex for Pleasure?

Having sex pleasures us and it’s natural. There is also the pursuit of sex for pleasure but it melts responsibility. While still natural, WADWMUFGAO,* it is abnormal and contrary to the good order and discipline of society, much like illegal drugs.

One can’t pursue sex for pleasure except by looking for more—whatever one senses, it’s never enough to stop the habit of pursuit. Extreme methods of stimulation are used even before addiction develops, which in itself weakens one’s sense of responsibility by focusing one’s mind more on self rather than others.

Inside marriage, if either mate pursues it intensely, they eventually find partner to be short of satisfying their ever-growing hunger for more pleasure. And so, they take their pursuit outside the home and marital responsibility melts down.

Among singles, responsibility to not endanger one’s partner—e.g., choking, STDs—melts down as ever-growing hunger develops for more pleasure.

Sex is a constant motivator of the male but not the female nature. When pursuit of sex for pleasure overwhelms the desire for it, people act as if addicted whether so or not. The process of living that way melts responsibility they have for or to others. Perhaps not melted completely, but enough that others are left with unwanted burdens and consequences.


*We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Fickle female, marriage, The mind