Category Archives: Fickle female

2787. Screen Him and His Mother Together


If following her nature, a woman wants a good man as she defines good. In today’s social and domestic marketplaces, both a clear definition and good men are absent. According to women, that is. Men will argue the contrary all day long, but they neither make it clear nor right.

An old maxim says, he will treat you like he treats his mother. Keep that thought in mind, as I think you should spend more time in the company of your dates and their mothers together and even separately if your man is not available.

On her turf, his turf, and even your turf, check out how treats her. Then take it to the next level. Analyze specifics such as these examples:

  • Does he listen attentively to her? What techniques does she use to capture and hold his attention?
  • Does she wait at doors for his opening of them? Hold the car door? How else does she show her respect of him?
  • Is his respect of her so sincere that it would happen even if you were not present?
  • Is she satisfied with both herself and him? Does he read and accept her satisfaction in him?
  • Does she seek to impress him or for him to impress her?
  • Does she avoid whiny and complaining chatter? She fair minded as opposed to seeking equality in all that she manages?
  • Does he help her with big things? Or just little things? How does she solicit his help, or just wait for him to detect her need and then act?
  • Does the good order of her house convince you she had high standards and expectations when he was growing up?
  • How much of her childhood influence remains in his adult character? Do you see it when alone with him?

A good movie shows off a mother who does most things right, if you measure her effort by her sons’ resounding goodness. I recommend Gifted Hands, which was made from Ben Carson’s autobiography. Tough moms harden boys into pleasing mom forever, which makes them good men.

Now, ladies, you are much more skilled than I about reading people and situations. My examples above are intended to get you started. There’s a lot more you can discover in the relationship of boyfriend and his mother.

I’m trying to foster this point in your thinking, your man is as good as his mother shaped him in childhood. Some remnants of her effort should be visible when they are together.

If mother didn’t teach him well, he ‘filled out’ his childhood by adapting his character, values, standards, and expectations according to teen peers. He’s no better than his fellow adultolescents. The early and not late childhood foretells a man will qualify as good for a girlfriend aimed at becoming his prospective wife.

The measuring stick that will help serve you is time spent in the company of boyfriend and his mother. If he does propose, you have a good feeling that he will treat you good. Befriend your future mother-in-law, and you’ll earn her help rather than no help or even disdain.

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2772. Pursue Sex for Pleasure?


Having sex pleasures us and it’s natural. There is also the pursuit of sex for pleasure but it melts responsibility. While still natural, WADWMUFGAO,* it is abnormal and contrary to the good order and discipline of society, much like illegal drugs.

One can’t pursue sex for pleasure except by looking for more—whatever one senses, it’s never enough to stop the habit of pursuit. Extreme methods of stimulation are used even before addiction develops, which in itself weakens one’s sense of responsibility by focusing one’s mind more on self rather than others.

Inside marriage, if either mate pursues it intensely, they eventually find partner to be short of satisfying their ever-growing hunger for more pleasure. And so, they take their pursuit outside the home and marital responsibility melts down.

Among singles, responsibility to not endanger one’s partner—e.g., choking, STDs—melts down as ever-growing hunger develops for more pleasure.

Sex is a constant motivator of the male but not the female nature. When pursuit of sex for pleasure overwhelms the desire for it, people act as if addicted whether so or not. The process of living that way melts responsibility they have for or to others. Perhaps not melted completely, but enough that others are left with unwanted burdens and consequences.

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*We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves.

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2770. Women Lose Their Way to Get Their Way


God designs each individual with free will and desire to get their way with others, which makes competition the most important motivator for pursuing self-interest. Men are competitors by nature. A man finds a woman to be an acceptable competitor until he conquers her. After which she’s expected to cooperate with his ‘ownership’ of her as sex partner. She ‘sold’ her assets and he bought them at whatever price she set and insisted he pay. If her price did not obligate him to provide and protect,  he got off light and may not be involved with her future.

The better she competes and delays conquest, the more of his respect she earns, and a man can’t love a woman he doesn’t respect. Consequently, the greater obligation she works out of him before conquest, the greater his respect and love develops for her, and the brighter her future with him in her life.

I’ve learned and drawn two major conclusions after 66 years of studying human motivation and ten years of blog posting and discussion. 1) Women make themselves available for unobligated sex. Shifting more and more toward sex for pleasure, they play the man’s game, and it discourages and stifles men from uplifting their lives as responsible husbands and fathers.

Why? It’s full of masculine beliefs, assumptions, and fears. If she’ll do it for him, she’ll do it for many. No man wants to follow a competitor in her bed. If she’s loose before, she’ll be loose after marriage. His lovemaking may be inferior to those before him. The closer to virginity is her history, the more loyal and faithful she will be to him. Not the ‘used goods’ idea, but the increased threat of disloyalty and infidelity because she knows other guys to whom she may too easily retreat for solace or return to begin again. To a man, it’s easier to avoid being dumped by not obligating oneself to begin with. So, risk avoidance rules the masculine world when marriage is the expected obligation.

2) Fulfillment of a woman’s life is usually viewed as capturing a good man, making him better, keeping him for life and family. Unobligated sex prevents women from earning that satisfaction in such a life. Why? Because men for reasons cited above do not so easily sell or even view themselves as potential mates. Also, men don’t respect women who don’t protect their sexual assets against intrusion for little reason or at no cost. Men figure if they possessed such highly valued assets, they would charge a fortune for access of any kind. Yielding without obligation makes women appear dumb.

Those conclusions are cause and effect. Women are born with the relationship expertise and all else they need to more effectively get their way with men, find and keep a good one, and fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. Men are willing as long as women recruit and keep them in ways that satisfy each man with himself, which puts women in charge when they use the relationship expertise they inherit at birth and which men lack.

Men have the mental and physical strength to fulfill their dominant role in the present. They think little about the future and figure they can handle whatever comes; it weakens their dominant role. Wives gain the advantage when they focus and achieve balance in getting their way for the future and let their husband have his way in the present.

A man’s ability to get his way relies on belief in his potential for strong mental determination and physical strength. The superiority of the female gender, however, enables women to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver their man by focusing on future events and arranging everyday matters to keep their man’s focus on the present.

Women have discovered sex for pleasure. It enables men to effectively deal with them as something close to sex slaves. It’s an unstable social condition because women don’t get their way often enough in other matters and female friendliness falls by the roadside. There’s no turning back either, until women recapture dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide and pressure the rest of us on how to live in society.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2769. The Decay of Relationships, Marriage, and Family


Definition. Society is what we all do. Culture is why we all do it; that is, the values, standards, laws, expectations, and common behaviors that guide and pressure us all in the same direction.

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Traditionally and old school, men dominated the workplace and, consequently, society. Ladies, wives, and mothers guided their man’s influence through kitchen table and pillow talk. Women never stopped wanting a more female- and family-friendly society, and so men produced both for the first three centuries of American existence. Ever more female-friendly interests came to dominate the culture; e.g., men conquered the American West, but women civilized it because husbands listened to wives. The influence of singles slowed development toward female friendliness.

That was long ago to which we can’t return. I lodge my modern-day complaint here.

Nowadays, men dominate both society and culture, because women under leftist political objectives and feminist influence have successfully made enemies of men and women. They push ever harder for women to dominate society, to push men aside against their will. The effect is that women lose their influence in the social and domestic arenas. What they gain on the job, they lose at home and as couples, marrieds, and parents.

As they have for decades, society and culture continue to swing away from home and family. Each generation becomes less interested in permanent marriage. Couples breakup, separate, or divorce sooner rather than later and often after decades of marriage. The traditional and friendly battle of the sexes on the surface continues to morph into a new unnatural and unfriendly war of the sexes beneath the surface. Blame, finger pointing, and other relationship toxins generate tsunami waves of social turmoil that cause the ubiquitous breakup of couples.

Women think they know men but most of it is wrong. They often appear wrong about the female nature too, because they do contrary things. For instance, when competition is appropriate for women to protect sexual assets—what men see as admirable, respectable, and thereby lovable qualities—women instead cooperate by yielding sex. When cooperation is necessary for married couples to blend, wife competes against husband. Both situations are the reverse of what’s in a woman’s heart.

Women also mistakenly try to be more like men. It’s a role reversal. It appears to bring progress, peace, and success in the short term, but troubles lurk below the surface and later emerge or explode.

Feminists, activists, advocates, and supporters directly and indirectly blame men. The blame poison spreads through the male gender, as men commiserate behind bravado and heap disrespect and indignities on females. Men reject blame and toss it back in the form of maltreatment of female interests and values and by calling them crazies. Male resistance, resentment, and retaliation turn male dominance nasty. Castles crumble and relationships tumble or never form up.

Political correctness keeps the fires of irritation smoldering beneath the yearning and dreaming of women for long-term mating. Wives and mothers with husbands civilize society; single men and women do not and so society becomes less civilized as families crumble from PC irritants.

It worsens with each generation. Parents unable to lead by example as mature adults can’t help children self-develop into mature adults. Instead, those parents aim their children to please themselves by turning out good kids, who then turn to peer adolescents for guidance as immature adults.

After a couple lives together a short time, the devotion, likeability, and loyalty that constitute a man’s love dissipate, dissolve, or disappear. He becomes unsatisfied with who he is, what he’s doing and with whom, or both.

Feminism led women to adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. It compensated men with sex while blaming them for relationship breakup. It has backfired; men are sexually satisfied but the social and domestic arenas are crowded with men and women as enemies, an intolerable attitude for a couple to stick together.

Sex does not bond men, but women act as if they believe otherwise. Sex helps capture a man with promises of commitment, but it lacks holding power and sex-only couples suffer from too-weak connections. They either break up or live separate lives under the same roof until children grow up and depart.

Blame or no blame, his nature is such that he grows tired of what he sees and hears every day. His hunter eyes beg for fresher daily sights. Her fear of his mental, emotional, or physical abandonment is soon realized after she blames him. Also, and foreign to female thought, as paraphrased from a flick I saw recently: Behind every extremely attractive woman is a man tired of f***ing her. (Get it? She is always temporary except as she conditions his thinking to be permanent with her.)

Couples in every stage of relationships break up, separate, or divorce. Women can capture—because they use sex—but they can’t keep a man. You could say that men can’t keep a woman, since so many women initiate divorce. But it is irrelevant. However you twist the tail on that dog of a man, men will bark at crazies until women change themselves and men have to step up to new female standards and expectations that tend to make relationships permanent. Women are the only ones who can do that.

As wives go, so goes society. It doesn’t mean that wives directly lead men. It means that wives and other women indirectly and patiently present themselves attractively, set admirable examples of their best feminine qualities, and otherwise process their lives to capture and energize manly motivations that exploit the male nature. Otherwise, they can’t earn a man’s respect, which is the foundation of a man’s love, without which couples have to relate with one-way love, her for him but not the opposite.

We are moving swiftly toward women wasting their love on undeserving men because men can’t love unrespected women. Men can fake love for a while, but that just lengthens the temporariness of a relationship; it doesn’t keep him. And that’s the future American women face today.

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2746. Wisdom from Miss Gina #4


Thanks to Miss Gina for amplifying post 2745, When Ladies Reign, Men Pay More Attention. She speaks clearly, so I quote her.

“I totally agree with your comments.

“Ladies, don’t expect other women to cheer you on as you become more feminine and adopt higher standards! In fact, you are likely to see more attempts to bully and stab you in the back. You may be unceremoniously and unkindly dumped by females you thought were friends, as well. Your newfound feminine confidence (and friendship with God) will move you forward, though. Other women are thinking, “Who does she think she is? She’s no better than the rest of us.” And of course, in a sense, you aren’t, but you do recognize the great value that God has placed inside each of us, whereas they don’t. You also have come to realize that having the best in life doesn’t come easily, whereas they want something for nothing. This is just a natural sifting as you change your stature in the world, because you will also notice greater acceptance from those few other women who think and act as you do.

“Once they have seen that they can’t drag you back to their level, you may also eventually notice that the former women start taking better care of themselves and being more feminine, as well, but they probably won’t tell you it’s because of your influence.

“Meanwhile, a high-value lady will notice a definite increase in interest from men of all types, from little boys to elderly men. (More reason for the loser girls to be mad…) Much of this interest will show itself in the form of gentlemanly behavior. Men and boys both just want to talk with a pretty, feminine woman. (OK, other stuff, too…but all men *do* enjoy talking with a clever, kind, and attractive lady–and just doing so can make their day.) Men intrinsically understand work, value, and price. Of course many will try to get something for nothing, but they are very conscious of the concept, nonetheless.”

Thank you, Miss Gina.

 

 

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2739. Disclosure Drowns Her Mystique — I


In another media, a lady inquired on a subject that could stand refreshment.

“Btw, Sir Guy, there is some dating advice out there that says that in order to connect deeply with a man’s heart we need to show our vulnerable side…our feelings. Men live in their heads so to connect with their hearts they need a woman who is connected to hers. We are supposed to speak in ‘feeling messages’ like ‘that film made me feel really nostalgic” – etc. What is your take on this?” (Error in the bolded phrase is described in Section II.)

Section I

My take? Good women beware! It’s garbage for the long range future of a woman. First, it’s not likely to get much out of men. Second, men don’t appreciate unearned gifts, so she’s not helping herself.

Sharing one’s emotions is just a shortened version of full disclosure. More importantly, it’s a feminist technique to shorten the road to bed with a man who’s not pursuing or approaching conquest fast enough. She’s anxious to have sex with him; why is he so slow?

If a woman has any of the following hopes or wishes unloading and expecting him to match her level of emotional disclosure, it defeats her expectation.

  • She’s hard-to-get and intends to use it to screen men better for good enough qualifications.
  • She’s interested primarily in a long term relationship, hopefully married with enough kids to satisfy her later with grandchildren.
  • She has a hard time believing what men have to say about themselves, and so she wants to associate with one for a longer time before she commits much of herself.
  • She feels comfortable when other don’t know what and who she is or is all about. IOW, she has agendas that she wants to keep personal until she’s married or nearly so.
  • She expects to get her way later in life negotiating two-sided decisions in a compatible relationship.
  • She expects not to be dominated by a strong-willed man who refuses to respect her inputs for marital decisions.
  • She expects to compete with a man before marriage in order to make sure that she knows who he is and what to expect before she accepts his proposal.
  • She expects to reserve her cooperative spirit until they are married. She expects to get her way before that.

Men neither think nor act as women do in emotional matters. More importantly, when a man knows a woman’s emotional makeup, he can imagine her reactions to his initiatives. That is, he can get inside her heart and mind to please himself, know what red flags to avoid for the present, how more easily to cover his mistakes, hide his ultimate intentions, give her the words she likes to hear, and otherwise fulfill his various agendas that work to her disadvantage.

 

NOTE: Full disclosure was covered at post 383 as contrary to hard-to-get.

Section II tomorrow at 2740.

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2730. Life Made Simpler for Women — 08


  1. Women imagine that by looking younger than their age, they can become more maritally attractive and sexually meaningful. Not so, except in the eyes of immature men who linger mentally in adolescence, adultolescents. To the mature man, she younger than he is more bonus than essential.
  2. A man who has little or no respect for the female gender also lacks a healthy dose of self-respect. Hoping to earn more self-respect, he tends to commit this ‘crime against wife’. He seeks to impose near-complete control over decisions, wife, and life together. He ignores the biblical imperative about how to love his wife but uses it to demand her submission.
  3. Little or no respect for women in a man generally means the same for individual females. Control minimizes his listening to her, disrespects her opinions, reduces her influence, and demeans her role as mate. In effect, such men disallow their wives to nest, much less build his castle. He confirms his control and earns self-respect by blaming her for her inadequacies and his dissatisfactions. His view is paramount; hers is seldom acceptable.
  4. When women dress as girls, or try to copy girlish appearance or sexual manner, they reveal their teenage mindset. It attracts men with the same mentality, as in adultolescents.
  5. Men know that beauty ages with the body. A mature man can be easily satisfied if his wife keeps herself attractive enough overall in spite of the disappointments of aging. Moreover, beauty becomes much less important as the years pass and other factors satisfy him much more easily with their life together.
  6. After marriage, her likeability is far more important than her beauty. It’s not how young she looks. It’s how well she keeps him satisfied that she matures in parallel with her beauty and keeps him reminded and satisfied to be the gal he married.
  7. A wife purposely appearing younger than her age suggests sexual fantasy that appears to seek the attention of someone other than husband. It can throw doubt on her expected loyalty, which is a major ingredient in a husband’s love.

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