- Masculine-style sexual freedom practiced by females inflicts potential damage on the institutions of marriage, faithful husbanding, and responsible fathering—all of high interest to women. The male nature is hardwired to respond to potential conquests made abundant by female behavior.
- If men pay no high investment of self, sex is cheap and easy. In the case of conquest, vagina is target and holds his dedicated interest. By enabling access, women easily water down their own worth and magnetic appeal. Female attractiveness goes for nought, when his access to vagina costs little or nothing
- Female virginity is under- and male virginity over-valued by modern women. With women, experience counts. If a man is not experienced, other women found him of little appeal. If significantly experienced, a woman’s competitors judge him appealing, which makes him more desirable.
- Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s competitively beating out all those other guys. So, it’s not purity to men so much as her sexual inexperience by which he can (a) imagine his personal prowess with little fear of comparison and (b) anticipate her fidelity to him. 
- Female gentleness is far removed from a weakness. To men it’s unique and mysterious. Much like modesty, it defies understanding and grows its own appeal.
- Women are born hard-headed and soft-hearted. Men are born hardened in both regimes. When her beliefs are narrow or little, mushy thinking pushes her to believe in anything. It defines soft-headedness and causes hard-heartedness in females.
- Mutual love makes marital living negotiable but not necessarily compatible, which depends more on mutual likeability and mutual loyalty—the ingredients of manly love.
- The sexes have opposing and competing strains of A.D.D. Women suffer from Affection Deficit Disorder. Men ignore their Affection Delivery Disorder unless taught as boys and teens to frequently speak of their gratitude to the females in their everyday lives. It needs to become habit to please females.
- It’s needed to replace romantic love that fades after a year or two. A man’s enduring love arises from the foundation of his respect for an exceptional woman and her likeability as a supportive mate. A woman’s enduring love arises from her gratefulness for who and what her man means to her in both the present and especially the future.
- Negative influences too easily compound to poison love. Infidelity, disrespect, nagging, abuse, lack of affection of her, and ungratefulness for him come quickly to mind. The continual repeating of one or a few negative influences shatters the major foundations of masculine love—respect, likeability, dependency, and gratitude. Love bleeds out through the cracks. 
Category Archives: Fickle female
Hello Lady Femme!
The process to get married doesn’t have to be complicated. I understand that things have changed in society and so good women pay the price for other women who are promiscuous or whatever. Many women are very aggressive and many men are very weak. I get you. But you’re seeing the glass half empty. Look at the situation from a different perspective. When men face a sea of unworthy women, a good woman stands out, so you are at an advantage.
I’ve said this before on this blog, but I guess it needs to be repeated: women who succeed in today’s dating market are very proactive. I’ve noticed that a lot of people, both men and women, constantly blame circumstances, or the other sex, or whatever, in today’s market for “everything that’s wrong and why I can’t get a chance.” Or something along those lines.
Women, and especially younger women, also have very high, sometimes unreasonable expectations. They want lots of chemistry (which by the way, is very overrated), someone tall, dark and handsome, with a good career, and the list goes on and on. I’m not saying not to try, but it might be difficult to meet all the criteria. WOMEN CONSTANTLY REJECT TOO MANY GOOD CANDIDATES. Otherwise, how to explain how many are single for years and years? Every woman has suitors. Go out on dates regularly (at least once a week) and then choose the best able of your suitors. The whole process from the moment you start actively dating shouldn’t take more than 2-3 years. There are many good men out there, although most are not worthy of you.
He should be very devoted to you and demonstrate it from day one. Pursue you, respect your boundaries. You should share the same goals and values. He should also support you on your goals in life (and you him) and love your children and want to take care of them. He should make you feel like a princess and want to give you everything you wanted in life.
Manage your emotions so that you don’t get too emotionally attached to any one man until he proves that he’s worthy of you, which in my opinion is one of women’s biggest stumbling blocks today. They meet someone and don’t give him time to become the seller. Instead, they become the sellers themselves! You can achieve not getting too attached by dating other men. Never give explanations about it either.
I’ve noticed also that a lot of women date men who are out to take advantage of women. Narcissists, and the like. Some women waste their most fertile years dating players or men who use them. I suggest that such women seek professional help first, deal with her own demons, and then, once she’s able to date in a healthy way, get back in the game.
But this musical chair thing is ridiculous. They want someone who’s sexy, who’s accomplished, who looks like Henry Cavill (a woman can dream, right?) lots of chemistry, you name it. Instead of just choosing someone who is devoted and stable. Or sometimes women don’t even know what they want. They lack the vision. Without that they will get nowhere.
Give men a chance, ladies! There are many good men dreaming that you would. Wanting to devote themselves to you. Get out there. Screen really well. Don’t yield in your values. Be true to yourself. Have fun while you do it. Dress up! Enjoy being feminine. Draw from your internal resources– confidence, happiness. You can do this. It’s not hard, I promise.
Let me know how it goes. Many blessings.
NOTE to Magnolia: I recognize the extra effort you put in to make this so clear and understandable. Wish I could write so clearly and impressionable.
Previous Q&A for easy reference.
- Why do men avoid marriage? [See 2676]
- What makes a husband dissatisfied with himself? [See 2676]
- Do men consider the wife to be responsible to keep their marriage together? [See 2676]
Q. Why do husbands cheat? [See 2677]
A. I offer no alibi for men, but with the facts below women can reduce the threat the female nature faces from the male nature in the marital arena.
Simply put, the male nature, daily events, and marital conditions open the cheating door not held closed by a man’s woman. The door opens so easily because the male nature oils the hinges and leaves it unlocked. The male nature motivates men to behave as follows until women teach them to act more female friendly.
- Men have the lifelong urge to conquer unconquered women; male love lacks the cohesive glue of female love; a man’s prime motivator is to earn self-admiration through accomplishments that produce self-satisfaction.
- A freshly conquered woman produces self-satisfaction in a man, but more importantly it terminates his primal urge to have more sex with her. Men don’t bond with sex, and so emotional infidelity may not be part of the show. He may stay with her, but male conquest is first- and only-time together. Sex after that is another game in the male psyche.
- Cheating also results from a man’s weak devotion to wife or lack of character strength to fulfill his promises and vows. He falls for a woman with strong lures. (No excuse, but it takes intense resistance that many men lack.)
- To a man, his cheating doesn’t dissolve the marriage for several reasons. 1) He’s responsible for marital success and expects to end it only when unsatisfied with himself living with his wife. 2) Two sex partners provides more satisfaction, not less. 3) He is not as prone as she to guilt. 4) His cheating does not mean emotional connection with the other woman, and so it’s not ‘harmful’ to wife if she doesn’t know.
- Admiration to accomplishment to satisfaction is the motivational pattern of a man’ life. Until, that is, mothers, girls, and single women teach boys and men they can and should do better on behalf of those they love, and each husband decides to honor his wife by being faithful.
But that’s not all. Wives drive husbands to cheat, feel compelled to copy him, and the consequences destroy their marriage. If he cheats she wants to talk; if she cheats he wants to walk. It’s next at 2678.
- Husbands expect to be confirmed as dependable and significant, that which they think they are. Wife, however, because it’s what she considers important and makes her feel good about herself, showers him with affection. It is neither the same nor what men appreciate. He may like her affection, but it isn’t ‘payday’ for his efforts.
- A man needs only a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. Even a hut will do. A woman is driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones, but she needs a future that grows ever brighter, so a hut usually won’t do. The one with the greater need inherits the burden to make it happen.
- A man only needs a hut, but a woman wants a castle. She can get it by crowning him king, treating him royally, and calling it his castle. Or, she can learn to like their hut and soon tire of him and her.
- A man will visualize his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego gets in her way. It restricts her from treating him as king, because she’s urged by Feminism to not elevate men and by her nature to dominate her nest and their home.
- A wife’s expectations about equality in housework, infant care, and other things cripples her likeability and worth, which works against keeping husband’s hormonal urges pointed only at her over the long marital road. It’s equality more than the work.
- Fathers withdraw from parenting when not upheld as good fathers by the mothers. A mom not upheld as a valuable and appreciated mother gets rid of father in spirit if not actuality.
- Honey-do lists become intolerable when Honey schedules, supervises, criticizes, or shows dislike of results.
- Husbands do not see the little nesting details of home life that irritate their wife. Reprimanding him for ‘blindness’ turns her into nagger, tyrant, or expendable mate.
- Feminism pressures men to change their behavior. However, in the social and domestic arenas the masculine nature erupts in often-silent but distinct individual ways that hurt feminist-think women.
- In spite of the popular myth of non-judgmentalism, character makes men more predictable to women. It’s a reading skill that girls develop best by saying no in adolescence. However, players take advantage of her ability to read men with a heart full of hope.
Women are victims of conventional wisdom. It actually sucks the life out of a solid marriage.
Domestic issues keep women frustrated, relationships in turmoil, and men dissatisfied with women. Those issues burst out as toxic attitudes that pit men and women as enemies. The following attitudes, for example.
The expectation but impossibility of equal sharing of homecare, childcare, etc. Sooner or later men make themselves unworthy. Blame that men are somehow at fault for women’s problems. Distrust of men because they don’t believe or act as women do. Failure to earn a man’s respect but still expect his love. Wifely conviction that husband has to be told about everything she considers wrong. Feminist-endowed excuse that she is always right. Female willingness to accept political correctness as legitimate. Wifely expectation that hubby causes their problems and is responsible to improve their relationship. Female rationalizing that makes someone else responsible for her problems. Women listen only to women about men. Wives forego being the heart and neck of the home with intention to become the head. Wife complains endlessly.
Plus, too little respect and gratitude for who a man is and little or no dependence on what he does. Men object but women pay little attention because of the blame, and so men learn to resent, resist, and retaliate. Payback saves face.
Female attitudes and expectations cause women to act so different from their nature that they lose their position in life as the superior gender. They lose to the dominant gender by their inability and unwillingness to earn a man’s respect. (Funny thing about respect, the only way to earn it is to first demo either trust or respect.)
Each woman has a different set of complaints, and except for sex it quickly makes her obsolete to her man. If not before marriage, then afterward if she changes to become a persona different than he married.
In short, conventional wisdom implants false hope that women can find happiness by ignoring their design, abandoning their nature, foregoing their inborn endowments, and short-circuiting their hormonal energies. Copying manly habits makes them less attractive, needed, and desirable to men as candidates for marriage. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman; feminine attractiveness, modesty, and cooperation (rather than competition) are virtues common to most men.
Conventional wisdom is that women focus on independence, sexual freedom, and using men. In the process, women ignore their natural and inborn ability, unique female blessing, and personal strength. It weakens feminine superiority and strengthens masculine dominance; that seems of little concern to women which is another part of their captivation by conventional wisdom.
Men devalued by women find ways to win in the end. Men do not lose to the weaker sex, and modern female tactics make women weaker and men more determined to win than ever before.
- Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
- Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
- When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
- Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
- Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
- Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
- Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
- A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
- Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
- Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.
Her Highness Beloved triggers this post. We previously differed on this point. Men learn how to love a woman from mothers, girls, and other women in their lives. Or else, they don’t satisfy women in matters of love.
Beloved responds by first quoting me: “‘Have women forgotten how to love a man?’ Please explain what this looks like in as complete and simplistic terms as you can. Because how are women supposed to know this if no one teaches them? See, it goes both ways, doesn’t it?”
Nope, nowhere near both ways. The sexes are very different regarding the subject of love. First, loving both self and others is fundamental to the female nature. Second, loving self and someone is uppermost in the female mind. Third, women learn how to love a man from their mothers, generation to generation. Men are into none of that.
Men are born to love what they accomplish, do, and pursue. They have the ability to love others, but it requires development to match female-type love; that is, enough to satisfy a woman. Nevertheless, for practical if no other reason, men use the name of love as expedient to get their way with women. He can be devoted and even bonded with a woman, but a man’s true love arises out of only one event—his decision to marry as described at 2558.
Back to Beloved’s challenge. How have women forgotten to love a man? They do wrong things or don’t do right things. Here are many examples.
A woman has forgotten when she DOESN’T:
- Follow her heart about loving her man, but instead follows and copies the attitudes she sees in popular media, fashionable customs, feminist venues, and women’s mags.
- Withhold blame and accusations until her patience shows up as angelic to her.
- Let modesty, feminine grace, and female mystery govern her actions even after marriage.
- Allow him to govern present day matters with her patience and ability to compensate long term.
- Plan and shape the future of their relationship ahead of time.
- Admire him for who he is, what he does, and how he faces up to fulfilling his responsibilities.
- Admire his sense of duty.
- Admire his husbanding and fathering abilities.
- Accept that self-respect is to men what self-love is to women.
- Accept that a man’s accomplishments to satisfy himself are as meaningful to him as a woman sharing her love with someone else.
- Recognize that a man’s accomplishments reinforce his self-respect; when it gets low, he has little respect to show someone else such as his wife.
- See this connection: Men are motivated to admire themselves by accomplishing things until they are satisfied. On arrival from his job daily, he is satisfied and expects to recover with R&R—unless he decides otherwise and faces up to another duty.
She has forgotten how to love when she:
- Thinks her magnificent words of love will overcome their ups and downs.
- Fashions their attitude around feminist dogma and popular opinion.
- Ignores or disputes him on matters about present-day affairs.
- Compares him against celebrities or other men. Even if he comes out favorable, it’s bad practice because it’s habit forming for her.
- Admires other men or masculine habits that her man doesn’t possess.
- Tries to manipulate him, especially by withholding sex.
- Fails to stamp out blame in both family and relationship.
- Expects to motivate him with guilt.
- Tries to keep him happy; men don’t do happy. They do satisfied.
- Contradicts him in front of others.
- Expects him to make her happy. First, it’s her responsibility. Second, her happiness flows out of her gratitude and little else.
- Expects him to mother the children; he can’t find satisfaction in copying mom, which means that his sense of self-admiration takes a hit.
In the matter of love, women are proactive, men passive, and women tirelessly try to make men more active. It’s that way because women have all the talent and skill for loving someone. It’s their mission in life, while men have to develop love of someone mostly on the fly until they marry and settle down. Even then they can remain beginners for life.
I could go on, but one lesson encapsulates success for women. It’s why love is never enough, and it poses the toughest question for women. Is he worth this? Does she love him enough to do this?
Men can do without love but not without satisfaction; that’s how they measure their success in life and with others. His satisfaction spells marital success, whereas her dedication to loving him may or may not.
Women can more easily distinguish satisfaction in a man’s behavior than other emotions of direct consequence to their relationship. IOW, he’s born ready to be compatible with her strength.
Consequently, success more easily follows her if she patterns their life together and governs their relationship this way. 1) Make and keep him satisfied in association with her as friend, wife, lover, cook, partner, sweetheart, mother, and the other roles she fills from time to time. 2) Make and keep him satisfied living with her. She learns to love managing their lives together, instead of continually showering him with affection that men don’t appreciate the way women do. 3) Enable him to conclude that his most significant, well-reasoned, masterful, and rewarded decision was to marry her. No man wants to leave that situation.
Out of that never-look-back decision, he concludes that his value to himself has been served in the best fashion possible. His self-admiration never ends and self-satisfaction keeps his spirits up. Expressing her love plays whatever roles and timely influences are required to keep him satisfied. Her words of love are never enough; they benefit her but her actions satisfy him.
It doesn’t get any simpler, because God designed women with the ability to breed success with a Mr. Good Enough and morph him into her Mr. Right. But love is never enough, neither hers nor his.
Finally, arguments to the contrary notwithstanding, men learn how to love from all the women that pass through their lives before they get serious about one in particular. That’s when they get the real message so essential to keep her; they have to want her first. In the end, men’s lives are governed by what they think of themselves. You can find more of that in the menu at blog top titled MANLY CLAIMS FROM BIRTH.