Category Archives: Fickle female

2669. Superior and Dominant Genders — 02


Women are victims of conventional wisdom. It actually sucks the life out of a solid marriage.

Domestic issues keep women frustrated, relationships in turmoil, and men dissatisfied with women. Those issues burst out as toxic attitudes that pit men and women as enemies. The following attitudes, for example.

The expectation but impossibility of equal sharing of homecare, childcare, etc. Sooner or later men make themselves unworthy. Blame that men are somehow at fault for women’s problems. Distrust of men because they don’t believe or act as women do. Failure to earn a man’s respect but still expect his love. Wifely conviction that husband has to be told about everything she considers wrong. Feminist-endowed excuse that she is always right. Female willingness to accept political correctness as legitimate. Wifely expectation that hubby causes their problems and is responsible to improve their relationship. Female rationalizing that makes someone else responsible for her problems.  Women listen only to women about men. Wives forego being the heart and neck of the home with intention to  become the head. Wife complains endlessly.

Plus, too little respect and gratitude for who a man is and little or no dependence on what he does. Men object but women pay little attention because of the blame, and so men learn to resent, resist, and retaliate. Payback saves face.

Female attitudes and expectations cause women to act so different from their nature that they lose their position in life as the superior gender. They lose to the dominant gender by their inability and unwillingness to earn a man’s respect. (Funny thing about respect, the only way to earn it is to first demo either trust or respect.)

Each woman has a different set of complaints, and except for sex it quickly makes her obsolete to her man. If not before marriage, then afterward if she changes to become a persona different than he married.

In short, conventional wisdom implants false hope that women can find happiness by ignoring their design, abandoning their nature, foregoing their inborn endowments, and short-circuiting their hormonal energies. Copying manly habits makes them less attractive, needed, and desirable to men as candidates for marriage. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman; feminine attractiveness, modesty, and cooperation (rather than competition) are virtues common to most men.

Conventional wisdom is that women focus on independence, sexual freedom, and using men. In the process, women ignore their natural and inborn ability, unique female blessing, and personal strength. It weakens feminine superiority and strengthens masculine dominance; that seems of little concern to women which is another part of their captivation by conventional wisdom.

Men devalued by women find ways to win in the end. Men do not lose to the weaker sex, and modern female tactics make women weaker and men more determined to win than ever before.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, Sociology 101

2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04


  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.

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Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2635. How to Love a Man, or Not


Her Highness Beloved triggers this post. We previously differed on this point. Men learn how to love a woman from mothers, girls, and other women in their lives. Or else, they don’t satisfy women in matters of love.

Beloved responds by first quoting me: “‘Have women forgotten how to love a man?’ Please explain what this looks like in as complete and simplistic terms as you can. Because how are women supposed to know this if no one teaches them? See, it goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

Nope, nowhere near both ways. The sexes are very different regarding the subject of love. First, loving both self and others is fundamental to the female nature. Second, loving self and someone is uppermost in the female mind. Third, women learn how to love a man from their mothers, generation to generation. Men are into none of that.

Men are born to love what they accomplish, do, and pursue. They have the ability to love others, but it requires development to match female-type love; that is, enough to satisfy a woman. Nevertheless, for practical if no other reason, men use the name of love as expedient to get their way with women. He can be devoted and even bonded with a woman, but a man’s true love arises out of only one event—his decision to marry as described at 2558.

——

Back to Beloved’s challenge. How have women forgotten to love a man? They do wrong things or don’t do right things. Here are many examples.

A woman has forgotten when she DOESN’T:

  • Follow her heart about loving her man, but instead follows and copies the attitudes she sees in popular media, fashionable customs, feminist venues, and women’s mags.
  • Withhold blame and accusations until her patience shows up as angelic to her.
  • Let modesty, feminine grace, and female mystery govern her actions even after marriage.
  • Allow him to govern present day matters with her patience and ability to compensate long term.
  • Plan and shape the future of their relationship ahead of time.
  • Admire him for who he is, what he does, and how he faces up to fulfilling his responsibilities.
  • Admire his sense of duty.
  • Admire his husbanding and fathering abilities.
  • Accept that self-respect is to men what self-love is to women.
  • Accept that a man’s accomplishments to satisfy himself are as meaningful to him as a woman sharing her love with someone else.
  • Recognize that a man’s accomplishments reinforce his self-respect; when it gets low, he has little respect to show someone else such as his wife.
  • See this connection: Men are motivated to admire themselves by accomplishing things until they are satisfied. On arrival from his job daily, he is satisfied and expects to recover with R&R—unless he decides otherwise and faces up to another duty.

She has forgotten how to love when she:

  • Thinks her magnificent words of love will overcome their ups and downs.
  • Fashions their attitude around feminist dogma and popular opinion.
  • Ignores or disputes him on matters about present-day affairs.
  • Compares him against celebrities or other men. Even if he comes out favorable, it’s bad practice because it’s habit forming for her.
  • Admires other men or masculine habits that her man doesn’t possess.
  • Tries to manipulate him, especially by withholding sex.
  • Fails to stamp out blame in both family and relationship.
  • Expects to motivate him with guilt.
  • Tries to keep him happy; men don’t do happy. They do satisfied.
  • Contradicts him in front of others.
  • Expects him to make her happy. First, it’s her responsibility. Second, her happiness flows out of her gratitude and little else.
  • Expects him to mother the children; he can’t find satisfaction in copying mom, which means that his sense of self-admiration takes a hit.

In the matter of love, women are proactive, men passive, and women tirelessly try to make men more active. It’s that way because women have all the talent and skill for loving someone. It’s their mission in life, while men have to develop love of someone mostly on the fly until they marry and settle down. Even then they can remain beginners for life.

I could go on, but one lesson encapsulates success for women. It’s why love is never enough, and it poses the toughest question for women. Is he worth this? Does she love him enough to do this?

Men can do without love but not without satisfaction; that’s how they measure their success in life and with others. His satisfaction spells marital success, whereas her dedication to loving him may or may not.

Women can more easily distinguish satisfaction in a man’s behavior than other  emotions of direct consequence to their relationship. IOW, he’s born ready to be compatible with her strength.

Consequently, success more easily follows her if she patterns their life together and governs their relationship this way. 1) Make and keep him satisfied in association with her as friend, wife, lover, cook, partner, sweetheart, mother, and the other roles she fills from time to time. 2) Make and keep him satisfied living with her. She learns to love managing their lives together, instead of continually showering him with affection that men don’t appreciate the way women do. 3) Enable him to conclude that his most significant, well-reasoned, masterful, and rewarded decision was to marry her. No man wants to leave that situation.

Out of that never-look-back decision, he concludes that his value to himself has been served in the best fashion possible. His self-admiration never ends and self-satisfaction keeps his spirits up. Expressing her love plays whatever roles and timely influences are required to keep him satisfied. Her words of love are never enough; they benefit her but her actions satisfy him.

It doesn’t get any simpler, because God designed women with the ability to breed success with a Mr. Good Enough and morph him into her Mr. Right. But love is never enough, neither hers nor his.

Finally, arguments to the contrary notwithstanding, men learn how to love from all the women that pass through their lives before they get serious about one in particular. That’s when they get the real message so essential to keep her; they have to want her first. In the end, men’s lives are governed by what they think of themselves. You can find more of that in the menu at blog top titled MANLY CLAIMS FROM BIRTH.

 

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2634. Censored Comment


I received a man’s comment on 2633. He’s irate with women and rants too long, disrespectfully, and with foul mouth. It’s more about the manosphere, but I can share the opening part of what Bookooball has to say. If you think you don’t need it, read it anyway. The enemies are at war, and only women can fix it. I say again, only women can fix it, but they are not underway yet doing it. Unfortunately, still headed in the wrong direction.

“These new age hippies have all been brainwashed by feminist yentas in the marxist indoctrination camps we call universities. They get a useless degree in women’s studies, then go run around larping about a battle with the “patriatchy”. Talk about daddy issues!

“Well, not to say some women don’t have shitty fathers, they project their misandry out into society, downplaying man’s burden to build and maintain society. Ignoring the fact every brick of every building she has ever laid eyes on was put their (sic) by a man.

“Of course, their whole plan is to destroy the family, because western civilization has gotten boring to them. This is how they doublespeak women’s rights out of one side of their mouth, while promoting the mass immigration of muslims out the other.”

Feminism paved the sick and slick road of making enemies of men and women, disrupting family stability and influence, and centering female politics around leftist doctrine.

Now, men are unwilling to discourage or give up cheap and easy sex that costs women their self-respect and comes home to roost in middle age as regrets about previous behavior. Manosphere is the masculine rebellion against whom they recognize as the cause of female unwillingness to respect men, which requires female self-respect lost in promiscuous lifestyles.

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2630. She Can’t Win with Mistakes


Women don’t know jack about Jack, and worsens all across society. Many break up relationships without understanding their mistakes. Many can’t keep a man, no matter how hard they try. Many can’t capture a guy for anything more than sex. Empty ring fingers abound in the public scene.

Men are not innocent, but that’s another subject. They primarily respond to female actions and reactions. Modern men are prompted by women to treat women opposite to what women desire, and it explains one purpose behind this article. Until women learn more about the male nature, they will continue to prompt men and some men to energetically mistreat females and children.

Women blame men when they react differently than women expect. Showering a man with her love, she expects the same in return. Her unreturned love—as she expects it—causes frustrations that foster even more womanly mistakes. Thus, women who think wrongly or foolishly expect men to be motivated as women are about the following matters. IOW, her love doesn’t overcome and much less works wonders. Examples:

  • Sex does not bond a man, whether first or last time. Sex is just sex to a man, pleasurable but nothing further, neither promising nor permanent.
  • Conquest, an event that may promise a lasting relationship to the woman, frees the man from dedication to his victim and to begin looking for the next one. It’s his nature and not her; he’s free by virtue of God’s design and hormones.
  • Men do not manage relationships. If theirs needs fixing, it’s not a relationship and he can do with someone else.
  • Women expect a man’s love to appear pretty much as a copy of hers. Not so, never, and she’s foolish to even think it.
  • Women give away all they have—sex, sexual history, inner feelings— and expect receiver-man to do the same or equivalent. It directly prevents earning a man’s respect, which has to be present for his love to form.

A clearer picture of who and what women are up against will follow soon. (Scheduled for post 2631 but could be delayed).

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2628. Stop Complaining


Wives take their frustrations and weaknesses out on husbands by complaining. It’s not a good practice, because husbands presume they dissatisfy their wives, and satisfaction is to men what love is to women. Complaints make him think he is not returning her love.

Modern women lack appreciation for the lives they live. They moan and groan about everything but their own appearances, dispositions and outlooks, which are the roots of dissatisfaction. Complaints self-excuse them from taking action to modify their appearance and improve their future. Also, women little realize that complaints/excuses weaken their self-confidence as it tars over and hides their feminine character, demoralizes their expertise of dealing with men, and thus generates additional complaints about self and husband.

They look for improvement in jobs and betterment in careers, and it works for awhile. But by their forties, they tend to match one lady who claimed she feels like “an unfulfilled old cow.” As told to me, “She is permanently depressed and has always overeaten.” It’s only an anecdote but illustrative.

I’m sure many women are satisfied with themselves and their jobs, careers, and even husbands. But even they have picked up many bad habits of complaining.

It’s endemic and men run from it. Why? Because her complaints—whether intended or not—point the guilt finger at husband, and men don’t accept guilt from someone else. Husband tires of it quickly and flees toward some woman not yet inflicted with complaints about him and excuses for her.

And each woman claims, I have no burden to satisfy men or a man. Of course she is right, if she has no interest in finding, capturing, and keeping a good man for herself. But that is seldom fact.

Wives can much more easily satisfy husbands, if they just drop endless complaining. Accept responsibility to fix all problems herself, and twiddle his nose slightly out of joint with a tactic I have developed. It only requires the feminine charm, patience, and dedication to her marriage that she already possesses. IOW, it’s far less work and worry for her.

Complaints generate more ill-will than resolve the causes. To encourage yourself to stop complaining, change your thoughts to this. After a short while of no complaints, adopt the new tactic below. It gets husband to thinking more of what he does and doesn’t do than you can ever complain about. IOW, he inherits new responsibility for identifying what works in the home and family more than whatever complaints/guilt you throw at him.

  1. Make this your worst, most negative comment, and your marriage will take on a new complexion. In a quiet moment, “Honey, your husbanding (or fathering the kids) has started to decline. You might want to think about it.”
  2. Then change the subject and refuse to explain or comment. If he pushes too hard, respond with: “You are the husband (or father) and so you know what to do, which may include nothing. It’s up to you. I am (or the kids are) just along for the ride you provide. I’ll do the work, but good leaders satisfy their followers.”

Of course, he doesn’t know what causes his methods of husbanding to decline. If he takes her comment to heart, he will figure out many more possibilities than she ever expected. His behavior may change about many things she did not expect, and some will be improvements. Allowing time to earn credit for his trying to do better, she’s wise to adopt the new tactic instead of returning to the wifely complaint syndrome.

From what a man figures out needs fixing, he remembers to do it much better than from being reminded of his shortcomings.

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2604. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 13a: Hank Explained


Her Highness Femme says “there is NO WAY a man would make a speech like that to a woman (me).” I’m sure she rings many bells elsewhere.

The series is titled, Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Common sense says both parties and a dual responsibility. Common senses says that sharing, dividing, and fulfilling the dual responsibility is a competitive and possibly combative job. Common sense says negative motivation—criticism and blame—produces unwanted results and can prompt failure in any process. Works that way with kids doesn’t it? Husbands are just big kids in the view of their wives. Yet, many wives ignore common sense and produce their own misery.

Women want their husband to be more responsible, and so Hank assumes full and complete responsibility even ahead of his marriage to Jenny. He exemplifies his male nature; he is sufficiently motivated to upgrade a system in need, please his woman, and admire himself for having undertaken to produce such promising results. The greatest satisfaction comes from the toughest achievements, and Hank is hardwired to believe it.

Women sympathize, empathize, share their miseries, swap justifying thoughts, and support each other as they bad mouth men. Then, as a gender, they shape their complaints and blames into female-sharpened hatchets to be thrust into the masculine psyche. With Hank, I idealize five things to expect, if men did what women claim they want and expect.

  1. Our man Hank takes complete charge to produce a magnificent plan of what he thinks his woman will more than welcome. He has no hidden agenda and expects to negotiate details later. (He knows the marriage system doesn’t work well. Women rely on love, but it is never enough. He intends to prevent problems rather than have to overcome them and thereby relieve Jenny of so many wifely problems. His intentions are far more honorable than any woman should expect, but yet less acceptable. He lacks one thing: spur of the moment woman-think, and his lack converts the story to fantasy.)
  2. Our motivated hero demonstrates with actions his promise to be a good husband, to take charge and assume responsibility for mate, family, and home. (He is motivated to assume all risks and rely on his expectation that wife will provide full cooperation with his leadership. He dreams of their life together sixty years from now. He’s not a dawdler. He accomplishes, produces, and can be depended upon to make things work out satisfactorily.)
  3. Our potential husband already planned how he intends to prevent rather than have to heal or recover from interpersonal problems with wife and family. (The eight strategies described in post 2600.)
  4. Inspired not just by Jenny but his own need to please her, Hank knows what Jenny needs most. His plans are aimed directly to guarantee his promise to cherish her for life as her husband.
  5. Following his nature, Hank designs and plans to cure ailments in the ailing marital system, because he is sufficiently incentivized to make his life more sterling in his eyes and golden in Jenny’s.

There comes a time in the world of under performing marriages, wifely complaints, and assigning blame that men stand up to say, let’s do something else; e.g., upgrade marriage. It was Hank’s time, and he took it. Common sense says he could never get away with it. In fact, it would probably scare most women away. But not Jenny, she has her own lessons to teach, so the fantasy continues.

Admittedly, the story morphed to fantasy. It is pardonable. He knows the female nature and knows it well, but Hank lacks one thing. Woman-think, the common mental processes that will dominate Jenny’s development of events and relationships under his grand plan. It amounts to this in the real world. A man’s planning for their future too easily interferes with a woman’s relationship development and self-brightening of her own future at the present time.

Of course you won’t see or hear Hank’s speech from a man today. Hank morphed from real in chapter 1 to fantasy in 13.  Women don’t always need what they expect out of men and their man, and Hank represents it on steroids. It’s Jenny’s turn for fantasy, next.

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