Category Archives: How she loses

2669. Superior and Dominant Genders — 02

Women are victims of conventional wisdom. It actually sucks the life out of a solid marriage.

Domestic issues keep women frustrated, relationships in turmoil, and men dissatisfied with women. Those issues burst out as toxic attitudes that pit men and women as enemies. The following attitudes, for example.

The expectation but impossibility of equal sharing of homecare, childcare, etc. Sooner or later men make themselves unworthy. Blame that men are somehow at fault for women’s problems. Distrust of men because they don’t believe or act as women do. Failure to earn a man’s respect but still expect his love. Wifely conviction that husband has to be told about everything she considers wrong. Feminist-endowed excuse that she is always right. Female willingness to accept political correctness as legitimate. Wifely expectation that hubby causes their problems and is responsible to improve their relationship. Female rationalizing that makes someone else responsible for her problems.  Women listen only to women about men. Wives forego being the heart and neck of the home with intention to  become the head. Wife complains endlessly.

Plus, too little respect and gratitude for who a man is and little or no dependence on what he does. Men object but women pay little attention because of the blame, and so men learn to resent, resist, and retaliate. Payback saves face.

Female attitudes and expectations cause women to act so different from their nature that they lose their position in life as the superior gender. They lose to the dominant gender by their inability and unwillingness to earn a man’s respect. (Funny thing about respect, the only way to earn it is to first demo either trust or respect.)

Each woman has a different set of complaints, and except for sex it quickly makes her obsolete to her man. If not before marriage, then afterward if she changes to become a persona different than he married.

In short, conventional wisdom implants false hope that women can find happiness by ignoring their design, abandoning their nature, foregoing their inborn endowments, and short-circuiting their hormonal energies. Copying manly habits makes them less attractive, needed, and desirable to men as candidates for marriage. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman; feminine attractiveness, modesty, and cooperation (rather than competition) are virtues common to most men.

Conventional wisdom is that women focus on independence, sexual freedom, and using men. In the process, women ignore their natural and inborn ability, unique female blessing, and personal strength. It weakens feminine superiority and strengthens masculine dominance; that seems of little concern to women which is another part of their captivation by conventional wisdom.

Men devalued by women find ways to win in the end. Men do not lose to the weaker sex, and modern female tactics make women weaker and men more determined to win than ever before.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, Sociology 101

2668. Superior vs. Dominant Gender — 01

I sense a rant coming on. When sex is everything, no room exists for recovery. Example, what does relationship recovery look like for women today? We are six or seven sub-generations* deep into Feminism. Is it paying off for women in their relationships with men?

Modern women don’t know jack about Jack and not enough about Jill. The sexes are born very different, yet cultural and political trending add constant pressure for them to be more alike. Unisex is no longer a popular term, but the pressure to achieve it is certainly common. (Toilets according to personal preference?)

Women routinely let a man’s sexual pleasure—and perhaps some claimed by her—to substitute for what they can no longer get reliably out of one man. Examples: brighter future for her, permanent relationship, mutual respect, mutual love, likeability based on persona rather than sexual compatibility, sexual fidelity, his duty to stay following a surprise pregnancy, fulfilled moral obligations, dependence on him, two-parent home, fathering their children, he provides and protects, family leadership, lifetime marriage. Oh, she might get a few of those, but her nature craves all of those benefits to be available with one man in her life.

Women can’t get what they want out of players and modern men, unless they agree that sex is everything or at least enough. Men don’t have much more to offer, because they don’t have too. Women are too liberal with their expectations about men. They can’t get their way except temporarily by yielding, can’t get what they expect to get except as they play the man’s game of cheap and easy sex. They rationalize that it’s enough in order to have their own man or avoid being dumped. They also swallow their pride, self-respect, and ability to negotiate for a better life for her and her kids.

Women themselves destroy the worth of their natural superiority at virtually no cost to men. No negotiations about obligations; just give aways that enable men to always win in the present but women lose for their future. Men by nature manage the present but ignore the future; they can handle whatever comes, which in itself—if not influenced by a well-loved woman—is enough to ruin a woman’s future.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with other people. Jill straddles the wave of sexual freedom with legs spread, while Jack enjoys the greatest unobligated pleasures. Jack keeps promoting endless sex by endorsing political propaganda, media culture, and masculine habits of dealing with conquered females as disposables. Women fall for it, and men and women become enemies pretty much as planned by radical feminists and political revolutionaries more than half a century ago.

Women destroy their superior ability by favoring male dominance. They lower themselves to the level of men for the pleasure of sex and thereby lift responsibility from men to help care for their offspring. Men will keep forever the lid on that jar of life.

Only the crossing of female legs outside of marriage can restore a woman-governed society as once existed in America. Only marriage-obligated sex can recover manly respect of females, enable femininity to overpower feminist thought, enable men to appreciate ruling the marriage and family while wife runs both, and make it happen by utilizing the natural superiority of the female sex.

We are all born to get our way with others, which means that competition is the lifeblood of human interaction. Calm and peaceful competition depends on mutual respect, each gender for the other. Those days are long past; single men have virtually no respect for females, as evidenced by both the habits and growing popularity of players. Other men may have some respect left. Of course, if men are blamed, they claim that women are respected, but it’s a dumbed-down version caused by women not standing up for themselves.

Men get their way by out-competing other men, but they rely on the threat of—men have little else—physicality to dominate females. Women get their way by competing with women. They are well-born to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. But they are highly restricted, if they don’t use their physicality of crossed legs to capture and win sincere obligations by one man who chooses her as his.

Women have sexual assets that men will pay to access. If men don’t have to pay much, they can orbit through and around the female neighborhood satisfying manly urges with freedom. Hit and miss but never left out in the cold of female disapproval for not trying hard enough, for not meeting female values, standards, and expectations.

Unattractive women have less hope of capturing a man; their female sisters keep most of the men occupied and satisfied. With sex on his mind all the time, such as with players, only attractive dolls fit the bill. Gals with more than sex to offer don’t come into view, aren’t noticed, and are not observed long enough for their qualities to be admired, virtues uncovered, and for men to learn that sex isn’t everything.

Women are superior except when they forego or forget their strengths in order to have temporary boyfriend, husband, lover, ex, or just be popular. It enables men to exploit their dominance without competition. Women no longer get their way, unless its by endorsing the man’s game of sexual freedom.


*I count a sub-generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often boys and girls separate themselves from the previous generation with their choices in toys, music, apparel, habits, taste, chit-chat, preference to associate with peers, and adolescent openness with their unique personal bias. As adults, each sub-generation has its own hard-to-distinguish identity, but the latest is deeper into Feminism than previous ones.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, old school, sex differences, The mind

2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04

  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2659. Strategy for Courtship—06: How Women Do Better—V

I’ve heard it argued that the purpose of courtship is to 1) get to know one another, 2) become friends, and 3) to link up to confirm sexual compatibility. I’ve heard women rationalize all three, but I disagree as contrary to female interest.

Courtship should be much more directed and purposeful and with those objectives left alone to develop in the background. Why? Because they work against a gal’s interest even though she is in charge of courtship.

1) Getting to know one another adds self-pressure that leads her directly or indirectly into full disclosure; it’s not good. To a man, he knows her well enough or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t and it’s his call, then he likely seeks to find out more or else he drops her. If he does know her, he doesn’t want to hear her described differently. He appreciates what he figure out more than what he’s told.

2) Trying to become friends adds pressure to her to talk and sell herself; it’s even worse. He’s uncomfortable discussing the subject of being friends. What does that mean to her? What does she expect? If she wants to be friends, he doesn’t care; he wants her in bed. If it’s for friend with benefits, it’s okay. He loses any interest in marriage that may have arisen, however. How many more FOBs are around to show up later?

3) She weakens herself by allowing the subject of sex to be opened. By allowing him to talk about and promote thoughts of sexual compatibility, he talks up the benefits of her yielding until she feels bad as the seller who denies yielding even though he pays her supplicant price. She far too easily can be talked over time to abandon promises to herself built on standards and principles that aid women to get their way with men.

Further, for her to test compatibility is to yield to his conquest; he no longer needs to sell himself to her. He bought her cheaply by paying her price, which means he sold her into buying into him without his buying into her.

Men, however, respect more the woman who protects herself better by refusing to provide sex, and his love is based on respect. What else does she have that he wants, if she so easily and cheaply sold her most prized possession? If he can cheapen her so easily, so can other guys. If he marries her, how and when will FOBs or other supplicants appear and …?


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Hook up and..., How she loses, Sociology 101

2656. Strategy for Courtship — 05: Where Women Go Wrong—III

This is no alibi for men. Their weaknesses are for another day and way.

Both sexes growing up develop bad motivational habits that weaken their ability to earn what they seek later in life. Men lack the natural willfulness to self-identify, admit, and correct their weaknesses; mostly they don’t think they have any.

OTOH, women are born motivated to be good. She strives to do good and become a better person. Two options are available. She seeks to be better just to please herself. Or she does it after inspiration arises from having a man in her life. The social marketplace today favors the latter, which lets women associate more freely looking for Mr. Right. However, the former attracts more mature men who are willing to appreciate her maturity. They more readily step up to living with feminine standards and expectations that make  a permanent relationship attractive to them.

If a woman spots any tendency toward the weaknesses below, then avoidance put into practice during courtship helps develop better habits for marriage. Studying each item backward may help a woman examine herself for individual weaknesses. Of course, no woman has to do such a self-examination; wives have the privilege of being bitchy, bossy, facetious, or hateful if sufficiently provoked.

The following display negative effects seen by men—e.g., bitchiness—followed by the likely cause. Men may not know what to call it, but they recognize and resent the cause:

♥ Bitchiness that flows from negative emotions aimed at him or others.

♥ Bitterness brought on by inability to make life come out as she directs or expects.

♥ Bossiness shown by interfering with decisions he makes.

♥ Busyness caused by pursuing her personal agenda rather than theirs.

♥ Carelessness prompted by her weak sense of responsibility.

♥ Facetiousness prompted by her fear of being wrong.

♥ Faithlessness that follows lack of respect of him or them together.

♥ Fearfulness brought on by mistakes or failures that she might repeat.

♥ Fussiness inspired by her desire for perfection.

♥ Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.

♥ Loneliness imagined and magnified when he’s not with her.

♥ Lonesomeness begrudged by husband’s need to function outside the home.

♥ Moodiness that flows from inability to control events to her satisfaction.

♥ Phoniness energized by fear that her true character will be found out.

♥ Political correctness brought on by her sense of being victimized.

♥ Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her insistence to have her way.

♥ Selfishness she was allowed to develop into habit as a child.

♥ Sloppiness that reflects badly on husband to his friends and competitors.

♥ Unfaithfulness that causes her man’s sense of significance to crumble.

♥ Unhappiness caused by her lack of self-gratitude and gratitude for others.

♥ Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.

If she combines too many or related combinations of the weaknesses above, she can become a dysfunctional personality to live with. Not in the clinical but the compatibility sense. The kind of woman that makes divorced men assert, “I just got tired of her s***!


Filed under courtship, How she loses, marriage

2652. — Strategy for Courtship — 05: Where Women Go Wrong—I

Women should treat courtship as a process, theirs. Not men, but relationship experts are the natural processors, the shapers, the bosses who seek courtship success.

Both sides have a mission. Men pursue conquest until their mission changes as the result of experience with her. Either she yields to conquest, he determines that she is more valuable to him than sex with her, or his interest wanes and he drops her. Her mission should be aimed at the option most favorable to her; namely, convince him that she is more valuable than sex. But many women choose wrongly.

A woman starts dating or enters courtship because she’s looking for love, mutual love, endless love, love eternal. Or, she envisions some other version from lessons learned or dreamily perfected in girlhood.

In that way, women routinely choose the wrong mission. They expect to win a man as boyfriend or husband, and do it with her female ability to love him. Because they don’t understand the male nature, they choose wrongly by ignoring common sense.

She gives away her love for too little done by him, and the effect is to minimize both his devotion and her being cherished. OTOH, as he proactively earns her attentions and affections by pleasing her and by letting her have her way, it leads toward his devotion and opens the door to her being cherished. Men want more of something valuable they have to work for, and continually pleasing her increases her value.

To please a woman, a man can open a car door, hold a door open and allow her to enter first, hold her coat for her to put it on, seat her at table, run errands, repair her car, let her have her way, and provide other politenesses. Gallantry and politeness please a female’s need for attention and confirm her importance. OTOH, a man’s actions to do those things, invests his effort on her behalf and slowly percolates in his mind that she’s appreciated and thereby important to him.

Pleasing her enough can be a drawn out process, but it programs his heart to favor her. If he repeats pleasing one woman until habitual, it programs his heart that her presence in his life is satisfying and worthy of greater effort. Thus, pleasing her habitually leads to his becoming devoted to her.

A man doesn’t start dating or courting because he loves or anticipates loving a woman. He starts because he finds her likeable as person, female, sex target, potential wife or friend, and other roles she fills in life. She seldom knows his intentions, however, except after hours, weeks, or months have passed in the company of each other.

Her love of a man can develop fast, freely, and by her self-insistence that it is as she imagines. Not through logic or well reasoned thought, her love arises from emotional connections she senses. It confirms she’s doing the right thing for her right now, or that it matches what she envisioned in girlhood that her love would be like.

Men are quite opposite. Manly love develops in bits and pieces over extended time. He analyzes his actions and one or two emotional connections that seem to satisfy a woman, but do they satisfy him? Trying to be objective with reason and logic, he determines how satisfied he is with himself for sacrificing his interest on her behalf.

Development of a man’s love is also a process, but he’s the processor of three stages. The first two develop sequentially in courtship: devotion and bonded love. His marriage proposal comes after he enters the third stage, true love.

Bringing her love into the open can be the wrong thing in both dating and courtship. It’s much better to let it marinate in background with only his partial and unconfirmed belief that it really exists. Let his imagination soar about her love of him. What he figures out is much more impressive that what he is told. That’s right; she wants to hear three little words but doesn’t fish by saying I love you. She makes her love less obvious and more his target, the ultimate he has to earn if he’s to become worthy of her.

If he fishes to hear I love you, he’s more focused on conquest than on her.

If she’s already worthy of him, where’s his challenge? The more sure he is of her, the less he favors expanding their togetherness. OTOH, mystery triggers his curiosity and opens his imagination to be more certain about his logic, reason, and figuring who and what she is to him. It pressures him to focus on learning more about her qualities that he admires; that is, her virtues that compound into a virtuous woman that men seek to marry. Consequently, the more she triggers his curiosity and imagination, the more time he spends getting to understand her.

It all works best to her advantage, when she as courtship processor gets her way in their life together.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses, sex differences

2635. How to Love a Man, or Not

Her Highness Beloved triggers this post. We previously differed on this point. Men learn how to love a woman from mothers, girls, and other women in their lives. Or else, they don’t satisfy women in matters of love.

Beloved responds by first quoting me: “‘Have women forgotten how to love a man?’ Please explain what this looks like in as complete and simplistic terms as you can. Because how are women supposed to know this if no one teaches them? See, it goes both ways, doesn’t it?”

Nope, nowhere near both ways. The sexes are very different regarding the subject of love. First, loving both self and others is fundamental to the female nature. Second, loving self and someone is uppermost in the female mind. Third, women learn how to love a man from their mothers, generation to generation. Men are into none of that.

Men are born to love what they accomplish, do, and pursue. They have the ability to love others, but it requires development to match female-type love; that is, enough to satisfy a woman. Nevertheless, for practical if no other reason, men use the name of love as expedient to get their way with women. He can be devoted and even bonded with a woman, but a man’s true love arises out of only one event—his decision to marry as described at 2558.


Back to Beloved’s challenge. How have women forgotten to love a man? They do wrong things or don’t do right things. Here are many examples.

A woman has forgotten when she DOESN’T:

  • Follow her heart about loving her man, but instead follows and copies the attitudes she sees in popular media, fashionable customs, feminist venues, and women’s mags.
  • Withhold blame and accusations until her patience shows up as angelic to her.
  • Let modesty, feminine grace, and female mystery govern her actions even after marriage.
  • Allow him to govern present day matters with her patience and ability to compensate long term.
  • Plan and shape the future of their relationship ahead of time.
  • Admire him for who he is, what he does, and how he faces up to fulfilling his responsibilities.
  • Admire his sense of duty.
  • Admire his husbanding and fathering abilities.
  • Accept that self-respect is to men what self-love is to women.
  • Accept that a man’s accomplishments to satisfy himself are as meaningful to him as a woman sharing her love with someone else.
  • Recognize that a man’s accomplishments reinforce his self-respect; when it gets low, he has little respect to show someone else such as his wife.
  • See this connection: Men are motivated to admire themselves by accomplishing things until they are satisfied. On arrival from his job daily, he is satisfied and expects to recover with R&R—unless he decides otherwise and faces up to another duty.

She has forgotten how to love when she:

  • Thinks her magnificent words of love will overcome their ups and downs.
  • Fashions their attitude around feminist dogma and popular opinion.
  • Ignores or disputes him on matters about present-day affairs.
  • Compares him against celebrities or other men. Even if he comes out favorable, it’s bad practice because it’s habit forming for her.
  • Admires other men or masculine habits that her man doesn’t possess.
  • Tries to manipulate him, especially by withholding sex.
  • Fails to stamp out blame in both family and relationship.
  • Expects to motivate him with guilt.
  • Tries to keep him happy; men don’t do happy. They do satisfied.
  • Contradicts him in front of others.
  • Expects him to make her happy. First, it’s her responsibility. Second, her happiness flows out of her gratitude and little else.
  • Expects him to mother the children; he can’t find satisfaction in copying mom, which means that his sense of self-admiration takes a hit.

In the matter of love, women are proactive, men passive, and women tirelessly try to make men more active. It’s that way because women have all the talent and skill for loving someone. It’s their mission in life, while men have to develop love of someone mostly on the fly until they marry and settle down. Even then they can remain beginners for life.

I could go on, but one lesson encapsulates success for women. It’s why love is never enough, and it poses the toughest question for women. Is he worth this? Does she love him enough to do this?

Men can do without love but not without satisfaction; that’s how they measure their success in life and with others. His satisfaction spells marital success, whereas her dedication to loving him may or may not.

Women can more easily distinguish satisfaction in a man’s behavior than other  emotions of direct consequence to their relationship. IOW, he’s born ready to be compatible with her strength.

Consequently, success more easily follows her if she patterns their life together and governs their relationship this way. 1) Make and keep him satisfied in association with her as friend, wife, lover, cook, partner, sweetheart, mother, and the other roles she fills from time to time. 2) Make and keep him satisfied living with her. She learns to love managing their lives together, instead of continually showering him with affection that men don’t appreciate the way women do. 3) Enable him to conclude that his most significant, well-reasoned, masterful, and rewarded decision was to marry her. No man wants to leave that situation.

Out of that never-look-back decision, he concludes that his value to himself has been served in the best fashion possible. His self-admiration never ends and self-satisfaction keeps his spirits up. Expressing her love plays whatever roles and timely influences are required to keep him satisfied. Her words of love are never enough; they benefit her but her actions satisfy him.

It doesn’t get any simpler, because God designed women with the ability to breed success with a Mr. Good Enough and morph him into her Mr. Right. But love is never enough, neither hers nor his.

Finally, arguments to the contrary notwithstanding, men learn how to love from all the women that pass through their lives before they get serious about one in particular. That’s when they get the real message so essential to keep her; they have to want her first. In the end, men’s lives are governed by what they think of themselves. You can find more of that in the menu at blog top titled MANLY CLAIMS FROM BIRTH.



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences