Category Archives: How she loses

2713. Feminism Revisited

Feminism adds this fatal flaw to female-think. She can’t be wrong compared to man-think. History of patriarchy and inequality justify whatever she decides is right, and so her man must yield to her dominance whenever she expects it. Even though equality breeds more inequality, it is her due. The male nature is the culprit, and feminist values and expectations must reign. Men are politically and legally forced to go along, even though it twists human nature away from the natural course of life as compatible mates.

Accused of being wrong without opportunity to defend oneself hurts men directly; they fight back. We all learn to avoid what hurts. However, men don’t admit they hurt, but they cuss and fight back anyway. It often takes the form of serving up revenge on a cold plate; they will get their way sometime and some way; e.g., they squabble and he reminds and uses her sexual history to win the argument

In the end, women lose manly respect and don’t get what they really hope to achieve. They oftentimes inspire men to produce the opposite. (Among women of middle age, I see so many bare ring fingers and so few couples enjoying slack time together.)

Relationships founded on feminist conviction strip the male nature of relevance. Men pressured into the backseat of a relationship have little interest in pleasing their driver-mate. Even though they already hold the superior position, women are convinced they must elevate themselves relative to men, and they accept the false belief they can get what they want out of life by keeping men in some subordinate role. They expect to win a man’s devotion and loyalty with love and feminist ideals reinforced with frequent and convenient sex; it will ultimately lead to happiness, if he will just go along as she says and expects.

It’s seemingly unknown, but men have virtually nothing to do with female happiness, which comes from each woman’s gratefulness for who she is and gratitude for the people and things involved in her life. A man makes little or no contribution toward it. Until, that is, she finds tremendous and overbearing gratitude for who he is and what he does to fulfill her life. Her gratitude for him begins to form as she fits him in with all else in her life. Therefore, he can’t be both. If he can be blamed for anything, a limit exists on how worthy he is of her gratitude, which impedes her happiness.

Thus, by finding her man short of her feminist expectations, she initiates the process by which her happiness fails to rise up to her female expectations. A man doesn’t develop a woman’s happiness. He satisfies himself that he sustains his marriage doing what he does best—providing and protecting. If she’s grateful for who he is and what he does, she’s happy with him today and her happiness for later life accumulates with kids and grandchildren in whom she finds more gratitude. Happiness without gratefulness for her man is a glass half full — or  maybe half empty.

Accusation without masculine representation in the feminist-inflicted court of political correctness puts women in the dominant seat of male-female relations. In exchange, however, they give up their superior ability and forego a female’s expertise to build and manage relationships, which weakens a woman’s self-gratitude, which weakens her gratefulness for other people and the stuff of life, and which melts down her happiness before it can accumulate into very much for her to enjoy in whatever later life she has promised herself.

So, for those women unable to find happiness in life, let them blame the root cause, Feminism.


P.S. I applaud the legal, political, and economic advancements of women in the past half century. They both deserve and earned it.

However, the baby drained out with the bath water. Women ignore the motivational force of the male nature. They abandon their female nature and ignore their relationship expertise in the social and domestic arenas. They now get what they want except a man to live with happily ever after.

In the natural course of compatible life together, men become what women expect of them. The political class makes enemies of men and women. Consequently, today’s women expect today’s men to fail as compatible mates—and so they do.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2706. Perfectionist Women

Perfectionism is a domestic disease that cripples homes and families. Women are susceptible.

Too many girls are raised to be perfectionists. For example, perfectionist at loving someone; expecting to be loved perfectly by her definition of how a man should love her; or maintaining her perfectly appointed and cared for home, kids, family, or marriage. IOW, she likes herself according to how hard she tries to be perfect.

Pushing her perfectionism onto others will likely see her fail the test of successful wife, mother, or both. If a woman needs to make anyone or anything perfect, she should first develop her feminine qualities and attributes as described in Female Blessings from Birth at the top of blog articles.

Those blessings can help any woman be considered great as female, woman, wife, mother, friend, and lover. That is, as close as she can get to being perfect in the eyes of others. It amounts to this. She’s near-perfect when others see little need for her improvement at making females feel good about their importance and males to admire who they are and what they do. Everyone develops themselves, and the ‘perfect’ wife and mom is the woman who helps them develop as they seek to follow their dreams.

A woman has no need to be perfect for her man. She only needs to keep him satisfied with her, their way of life, their kids, and with himself. It means she only has to keep herself satisfied that those around her are developing well and satisfied with progress toward their dreams and what they hope to become or do.

If she expects perfection out of herself or others, she becomes the judge and jury and runs her domestic show with grating noise instead of feminine music well-harmonized. As she tries to get anyone to be more like her, trying to be perfect in thought or deed, she ignores this fact of life. Perfection is impossible. Pursuing it in any form grounds relationships on the sharp, slashing coral reefs that surround home and life.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2703. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Root Cause

Any mature man worthy of being depended on as a mate has certain traits that make up his worthiness. It’s not what a woman sees on the outside. When screening men, a woman should expect that these convictions exist within.

  • His self-respect exceeds his respect of others until each person earns much more than he originally detects and judges. (Women differ.)
  • He’s committed to successful accomplishments in his life. He expects to achieve what he aims at, and he works and perhaps fights hard to avoid failing or defer failure.
  • He knows he’s already good enough for any woman that will have him as her mate and lover. Consequently, he expects to fittingly sell himself to win a likeable object of his respect, lust, or love.
  • He does things and thinks and worries about physical connections. (Women differ.)
  • A likeable woman remains that as long as he’s satisfied with who she is and what she does. His initial feelings and the respect she earns make her likeable, but his satisfaction rests more on masculine values and expectations than her feelings about him.
  • He judges her by what he thinks. (Women differ.)
  • He seeks self-satisfaction that tends to confirm his admiration as a man. (Women differ.)
  • His prime mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. (Women differ.)

Then, he marries the most likeable woman who earns his respect for who she is and what she does and can do, which are his personal standards for living with someone. IOW, her feelings about him are secondary to his expectations.

Consequently, he marries a woman good enough when they meet at the altar. But does she remain so? Does he remain satisfied with 1) committing himself to his altar-mate? 2) Devoting his life to their future together? 3) Preparing for what he can become with her dedicated to support his life? 4) Promising to brighten her future? It remains to be seen as married life unfolds.

The root cause of husband’s venturing into the cheating game lies here. Wife becomes different than husband expects. She sees him differently once he’s legally obligated. She doesn’t treat him as in courtship. She finds fault with him or his efforts. She spotlights his weaknesses and tries to do something about them. She imposes guilt trying to change him. She nags and criticizes and expects his reactions to favor her expectations. She tries to recover from having not screened him well enough, from having chosen wrongly. In short, she acts childishly to make him appear childish.

Women focus so hard on capturing a husband that they don’t screen adequately or know themselves well enough to be the good wife, defined by husbands as the one he courted and who acts the same before and after marriage.

IOW, he’s not the man she intended or hoped to marry and she intends to improve him, confirm that he’s not worthy of her, or recover the best she can. A little room exists within the character of a husband to permit her ‘recovery’ tactics. But not a lot.

He detects lack of respect, ingratitude, and unwillingness to depend on him. All of which corrupts her likeability and his sense of satisfaction living with her.

The more she becomes different from his bride’s behavior, the more quickly he considers looking elsewhere for the recognition that he thinks he deserves. Wife cheats him of his dignity, self-satisfaction, and consequent self-admiration, and his cheating on her is the most easily recognized method for husband’s recovery, respite, or revenge.

WADWMUFGAO. When wife feels good putting him down, he finds recovery outside the home. Hence, the root cause of husbandly infidelity is wifely dissatisfaction with husband’s inability to live up to her expectations that in all probability changed after the ceremony.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2701. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The How

Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. The strongest magnets in the marital world are these. Her likeability to him and his likeability to her as he sees it reflected from what she does — more than what she says — to keep him satisfied with himself. Men lack but women possess the relationship expertise to make all that happen. Consequently, wife has to take charge. She has to keep herself likeable to him and show that he’s likeable to her by doing whatever it takes to keep him satisfied with himself. It’s how she runs the marital show.

By maximizing mutual likeability, smarter wives generate the greatest insurance against their man cheating. By following just a few of the ‘wrongs’ described below, less-alert wives may encourage masculine infidelity.

The less-feminine woman can much too easily drive her man to cheat. She doesn’t care or can’t understand how her actions program husband against her interests. Actions and words that wife considers necessary very often register differently with hubby. For example, husband’s reactions to her unsolicited advice, recurring complaints, and constructive criticism cripple her likeability.

The bullets that follow describe what wives do contrary to husbandly interests that adversely impact mutual likeability and initiate husband’s thoughts of another woman. When a man is dissatisfied with his woman, self-satisfaction as a man becomes more important to him than that of a husband. IOW, for example, if wife tends to emasculate him, he looks to restore his self-image as a man rather than as a husband.

Here are some examples that work contrary to a husband’s interests.

  • She loses or never had enough self-gratitude as a woman to make a good wife. She feels undeserving. She finds fault in life and blames others rather than finding gratefulness for who she is and what she has. Mutual likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t respect husband enough for who he is as person, man, husband, friend, lover, and father. She caught him but now considers him to be inadequate, at least partially. She probably could have done better, which curtails her pride in him and reduces her potential to be faithful as he views her loyalty. Her likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t depend on him enough for what he does as provider, protector, producer, fixer-upper, and rescuer when they need a recovery. Thus, she effectively admits that he’s less than necessary and under appreciated. She’s less likeable.
  • Some wives continually complain about far too much. Husbands have one of three reactions: a) What he can fix, he does. b) What he can’t fix, he feels guilty because he can’t relieve his woman’s disappointment. Men don’t accept guilt from someone else and he resents it. c) Her complaints amount to just chatter or gossip that are meaningless to him. By not learning how he reacts to her complaints, she begins to complain about his having too little empathy or paying too little attention to her. New complaints trigger the same reactions as before.
  • She doesn’t express her gratitude enough for how he enhances their life together. She takes him too far down the road that she abhors for herself—she takes him for granted. Men don’t argue against being taken for granted. However, when it morphs into his dissatisfaction with who he is and what he does, her likeability begins to fade.
  • Because she doesn’t get enough attention and affection, he doesn’t live up to her expectations. She thinks he doesn’t deserve a lot of respect, confirmation of her dependence, and her gratitude. Mutual likeability declines.
  • If her expectations change after they marry, she becomes a different woman than the bride he expected to live with. It disappoints a husband and weakens her likeability.
  • She feels denied his attention, affection, and recognition of her contributions and importance. It programs her heart with resentment, resistance, and eventual bitterness. She questions the rightness of husband’s presence in her life. If he detects it, he takes offense, feels dissatisfied, and her likeability shrinks.
  • She begrudges his always getting his way in present-day matters. Her competitive spirit drives her to resent him, even though he’s willing to let her run their relationship as she aims it into the future. Resentment poisons a woman’s likeability.

In short, the heart and mind that governs a wife’s life on behalf of wedded harmony determines how her marriage will proceed and succeed. Husband is in charge of keeping them together as a couple, she’s in charge of making married life worthwhile and satisfying.

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2700. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — What

Q. What should wives consider to keep husband faithful?

A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why? Two great unknowns float within marriages of all sizes and shapes. 1) By marrying, she expects a multitude of marital blessings, benefits, and improvements, and thinks that he is the same. Not so! He expects to be satisfied with having married her, and everything has to fit under that umbrella. 2) Men are born with the primal urge to spread their seed without fear of consequence, which translates for wives to understand that husbands yearn to conquer other women until and unless they commit themselves to evasion in honor of their wife. How does she do that?

The most successful wives are likeable to their husbands, and they learn to bridge most of these seven natural divides that exist within a relationship.

  1. Contrary to woman-think, a husband considers himself responsible for the success of his marriage. She runs the show, but he considers himself the final arbiter about success and failure. When he proposed, he assumed responsibility. He never plans to fail at anything he undertakes and only by accepting responsibility can he maximize his ability to prevent failure.
  2. Also contrary to woman-think, his judgment about success or failure rests on his determination that he’s either satisfied or dissatisfied living with her and with himself.
  3. This is man-think. A wife’s complaints mean that it’s husband’s fault, and he should fix it. If he can he does; if he can’t then he’s dissatisfied with himself. As her unfixable complaints accumulate, dissatisfaction with himself makes her less likeable and living with her less satisfying. Consequently, wives who frequently complain weaken their own likeability, which opens husband’s eyes as to what lies outside their home.
  4. A man doesn’t love the same way as women do. His emotional and motivational forces differ greatly. His love is based on pleasing himself by pleasing her, having her as his close possession, finding self-admiration for his work effort on her behalf, and satisfying himself with the process of life that includes her either imagined or deeply embedded with him. IOW, she finds love in her heart and doesn’t question the specifics. He finds love in his mind after concluding she’s so appealing and likeable that his efforts on her behalf satisfy him more than he expects with other women.
  5. Both sexes are born to get their way, which stimulates competition at which men are naturally expert. However, men will not compete with their own woman. They rely on physicality or the pressures of dominance to win. Or, they withdraw to avoid losing to their mate. Losing to the weaker sex is to be avoided, and it becomes habitual in boyhood.
  6. The smarter girls and young women learn best that they can get their way by cooperating to get their way in future affairs rather than insisting on getting their way in the present. By not learning that lesson, some wives do wrong things that corrupt present life for their man, and it makes wives less likeable.
  7. Suffering anger, disappointment, and frustration of not getting her way in matters of the heart, a woman finds her marriage in need of new management, even though she’s the only manager available. Men don’t know how and find little interest in trying. To a man, he’s either in a relationship or not; he sees little wrong except as he’s dissatisfied with her, living with her, or himself for having married her.

Wives are the key to making their man faithful. He either learns to honor her above all others, or he likely hunts for other attractions.

Leave a comment

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she loses, marriage, The mind

2675. Refresher Thoughts — 10

  1. Men treat women as women act. Act like guys and they’re treated that way. But men don’t marry guys—at least not for life.
  2. When women exploit their female nature, men respond favorably. When women don’t appreciate their femaleness to the fullest, men don’t either.
  3. Women need men more than the reverse, especially those women hopeful of a permanent relationship. [1904]
  4. Women work to love, build relationships. Men love to work, accomplish things.
  5. To stay with one woman, men must be rewarded for husbanding and fathering. The male sex sets competitive standards and expectations and each man measures his self-satisfaction by the return on his investment.
  6. A man’s love is based on respect for her and her likeability supporting him in his responsibilities, off-duty recovery, and preparation for what’s coming next.
  7. Disconnected from sex, women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. The male nature doesn’t prompt men to think that way. They require training by females earlier in life and mothers and adolescent girls teach it best.
  8. Women like to claim that men are only after sex. It’s a shortcut to passing blame or imposing guilt. When claimed, it closes the female mind to understanding and figuring out how to use a man’s nature to help fulfill girlhood hopes and dreams.
  9. Each woman’s sexual availability is the measure by which men judge women for their loyalty to and dependence upon one man.
  10. Women can abandon their female nature to enjoy masculine-style sexual freedom, but they eventually lose playing that man’s game. Why? Men don’t respect loose women, and the foundation of a man’s love is respect for her.[1905]

Leave a comment

Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage, sex differences

2671. Refresher Thoughts — 06

  1. Husbands expect to be confirmed as dependable and significant, that which they think they are. Wife, however, because it’s what she considers important and makes her feel good about herself, showers him with affection. It is neither the same nor what men appreciate. He may like her affection, but it isn’t ‘payday’ for his efforts.
  2. A man needs only a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. Even a hut will do. A woman is driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones, but she needs a future that grows ever brighter, so a hut usually won’t do. The one with the greater need inherits the burden to make it happen.
  3. A man only needs a hut, but a woman wants a castle. She can get it by crowning him king, treating him royally, and calling it his castle. Or, she can learn to like their hut and soon tire of him and her.
  4. A man will visualize his hut a castle, if he’s treated as the king. A woman’s ego gets in her way. It restricts her from treating him as king, because she’s urged by Feminism to not elevate men and by her nature to dominate her nest and their home.
  5. A wife’s expectations about equality in housework, infant care, and other things cripples her likeability and worth, which works against keeping husband’s hormonal urges pointed only at her over the long marital road. It’s equality more than the work.
  6. Fathers withdraw from parenting when not upheld as good fathers by the mothers. A mom not upheld as a valuable and appreciated mother gets rid of father in spirit if not actuality.
  7. Honey-do lists become intolerable when Honey schedules, supervises, criticizes, or shows dislike of results.
  8. Husbands do not see the little nesting details of home life that irritate their wife. Reprimanding him for ‘blindness’ turns her into nagger, tyrant, or expendable mate.
  9. Feminism pressures men to change their behavior. However, in the social and domestic arenas the masculine nature erupts in often-silent but distinct individual ways that hurt feminist-think women.
  10. In spite of the popular myth of non-judgmentalism, character makes men more predictable to women. It’s a reading skill that girls develop best by saying no in adolescence. However, players take advantage of her ability to read men with a heart full of hope.

Leave a comment

Filed under Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she loses, How she wins, marriage, sex differences