Category Archives: How she loses

2782. Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?


Her Highness Magnolia inspired this long overdue post.

Q. Her question: “In WWNH you describe our nature “in the raw.” I have a question about men. Does a man in [his male nature] believe that he has a right to a woman’s body (any woman, even a stranger) that he can do as he pleases?”

A. Yes it’s embedded as a sprig of male dominance, but don’t read too much into it. The most likely outcome lies with your term “believe.” Men believe what they figure out better than what they are told. Modern men are told legally and politically that they have no uninvited access to the female body. Belief spreads from the pressures.

Much more importantly, however, his so-called ‘right’ is susceptible to the influence of the superior gender, which has more than enough ability to neutralize it. Men are dominant, but in the world of competition before a man conquers a woman, men are vulnerable to relationship expertise and female determination about right and wrong. That is, before individual conquests, women reign with control of what men want the most.

It’s much easier to believe than what women tell men in legal and political terms. In a unique contrast, men have the physical and mental strength to get their way. But women gang up and get their way by making men dance the female tune, namely he has no inherent right to a woman’s body.

But once she yields conquest, he reigns and she has no authority left to compete on the matter. She learns to cooperate and hopes he will treat her rightly. With conquered women who learn to cooperate, men have less reason to enforce their way. They lean more toward cooperation and more easily follow female expectations.

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Each sex has only one distinctly different, inborn, lifetime, and primal urge that constantly pressures men and women to interact together. Combined and with little else, those two motivational forces are capable of perpetuating the species,which seems to be a necessary outcome whether designed by God or and sought by Nature.

Men are born with the motivational appetite to spread their seed. Particulars aren’t specified, just spread it. Women inherit mother love upon giving birth, which is the primal urge to care for the children that result from males spreading their seed. Again particulars aren’t specified as we are all free will individuals. Thus, without other motivational drives, homo sapiens is perpetuated in the simplest fashion. It’s a self-perpetuating ‘human engine’ and little else is needed;  men screw, women nurse, and life continues.

Both sexes are born with free will and the desire to get their way among others. This is the chicken: Competitive fires are fueled by mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and wives getting their way by dissuading men from doing as they please with females. This is the egg: Men yield to female expectations in exchange for what females have and women are willing to trade for civilization, peace, and help raising kids.

With that behind us, your question can be answered with common sense. Does the urge to conquer women authorize men to have their way? Yes! In the absence of civilized order and peace, how else can a man be effective, live out his primary purpose in life?

To change Yes to No is the perfect invitation. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, wives domesticate husbands, and all females rein in male aggression, train men, and expect men to provide and protect against always getting their own way with females. Men are conditioned to accept no access rights, because they are rewarded with frequent and convenient sex at the discretion of individual females.

IOW, all women have a say in preventing men from having their way with females.We call it civilization. Society is what we do. Culture is why we do what we do. Consequently, either women reign over cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide all of us, or men have their way even with strangers. It’s a great master plan that women have to bring down to the individual level. Unfortunately for modern females, old school did it better than nowadays.

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2780. Balance Sought by Pushing, Shoving, and Cooperating


  1. Women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. Men don’t need it. He has affection delivery disorder, and it doesn’t match her affection deficit disorder. Thus, she’s burdened to train her man to get what she expects by way of affection.
  2. The male nature is well primed by Nature and hormones to be aggressive, dominant, and even violent. Men are well primed by sexual rationing that enables women to impose moral standards, female expectations, and motherly teachings and thereby tame, civilize, and domesticate the male nature for female-friendly and family responsibility.
  3. Women fool themselves two ways but men keep the upper hand on the subject. They claim that men are only after sex and seek to impose guilt on their man. Each man knows his woman’s blame is only partially true. Also, her guilt flinging is undeserved. He refuses to feel guilty. His nature avoids explaining himself. So he ignores her claim. If she isn’t totally right, why should he pay attention to such foolish thoughts?
  4. Men are only after sex before conquest plus anytime a man is denied sex that he has earned and thereby deserves. It’s the denial that keeps him focused on sex. Men can deal amicably with other issues. It’s why hard-to-get works so well for women. He hasn’t earned her for sex. The harder he tries, the more she earns of his respect, and respect is the foundation of a man’s love.
  5. Society is what we all do to live separate lives. Culture guides and governs all of us to fit compatibly into society.
  6. Male dominance prevails in society if women abdicate and don’t impose their collective will to promote female-friendly cultural values, standards, and expectations to guide people in society.
  7. Women who practice masculine-style sexual freedom eventually lose; it’s the man’s game. Penetration by penis, however slight, makes a woman less admired, less virtuous, less respected, and more easily mistreated. Moreover, female promiscuity and masculine respect of women are mutually exclusive. Men deny it but how successful are relationships after conquest?

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2773. We Are Also Born Alike


I post articles about how the sexes are born different and, as the result, are motivated differently in life. There’s another side. In a few ways they are born alike in ways that underwrite both their inborn and motivational differences.

Each individual is born with free will. Each seeks to get his or her way associating with others. Consequently, each determines their own self-interest, which motivates them to promote and energize their self-development (aka living life their own way). Those dynamic and governing influences take hold after the conscious mind opens in the third year and last for life.

Free will, getting one’s way, and self-development stir up so much emotional turmoil that it makes both intra- and inter-sex competition the dominant generator of energy in human relations. Everybody competes all the time.

Examples: Women compete with women for the best man hopefully but good enough actually, and then each competes with one to preserve or parlay her self-interest into a successful couple. Men compete with men for a virtuous woman. If she turns out to be less than virtuous, then he can’t maintain his satisfaction with himself and escape seems desirable. So when you hear women claim they are not competitors, recall those and a gazillion other inter-connections among people.

We are designed and created to be compatible as couples. Man or woman, unless handicapped, each begins life with sufficient ability to live compatibly with a member of the other sex. Being able doesn’t mean it happens.

What keeps the competiton balanced? It begs the question, how come one sex doesn’t win the gender-level competition and enslave the other? The answer is unequal but fair ability to compete.

It appears to me this way. God saw it coming and endows the sexes differently. He creates a dominant sex, inspired to be a socializing bunch of immovable objects, and endows it with physical and mental powers so the objects can get their way—but he leaves them void of interest in relationship functioning. Thus, men have power to spare but lack talents for creating and managing relationships.

Then God creates the other sex, inspired to be a socializing bunch of irresistible forces, and endows them with relationship expertise and ability to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. In that way, using free will for ability and self-interest for guidance, women are empowered to avoid being enslaved and can, in fact, get their way over males worth the feminine effort to do so. Their gender is superior, since women have the motivation, influence, talent, skills, and determination to not be enslaved either individually or collectively. They can hold their own and even do better when they pay attention to what wins more than what loses.

The irresistible forces of the superior gender compete constantly with the immovable objects of the dominant sex to produce what each seeks, specifically some advantage and their own way. Competitive balance arrives when one  immovable object keeps himself satisfied by satisfying one irresistible force who convinces him to provide, protect, and perhaps even die for her.

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2771. Why Men Don’t Stay


No accusations are aimed your way. However, something in the following should hit every woman’s guilt button.

It doesn’t matter if cheating husband’s other woman is perfect partner or not. If he sought her out, it means you’re no longer the perfect partner he thought he married. You were the love of his life. So what fractured, shattered, or crumbled his love into whatever leaves no loyalty for you? He’s not much more than a shadow of him as groom.

I’ve described this repeatedly in previous articles. Positive and affirming emotions such as love, respect, vows, promises, good intentions, and mutual dependency do not hold marriages together. Not as much as negative emotions rip marriages apart with continual bombardment of irritants and criticism implied or stated.

Newly developed emotional differences alert wives. But so many fail to exploit their relationship expertise. That is, fail to use their ability to recognize little emotional disconnects, and for which they fail to find ways to eliminate them before they rise to the level of marital threat.

Counselors and marital advisors advise what to do to please your partner. It may help a little but it’s not the answer for marital success. Your time is better spent avoiding what ticks off your partner or spouse in the first place. Stop kicking or knocking him down. You might kick yourself for awhile.

When a husband takes up with another woman, he’s at fault. No way to justify it. However, we can examine his motivational background. (Pointed at all women and not truly you, the writing just comes better in second person, you, and hopefully reads more cognitively that way.)

His love depends on his respect for you, so how did you undermine it? Nag? Criticize? Withhold sex? Enable him to feel inadequate in bed? Blame him? Point out his shortcomings? ID his faults? Treat him as uninteresting? Talk endlessly about things of no interest to him? Feed him what you like instead of what he likes? Get up grouchy in the morning? Defend those who offend him?

Do little to please him but expect him to please you continuously? Act grouchy after work? Have too many headaches at night? Refuse to entertain his friends? Resent his hobbies or habits that take him away from you? Dislike yourself and too lazy to do something about it? Forget who you were that attracted him to you? Plan to return to your natural personality once you hook him?

Always act sick with little reason? Manipulate him? Never smile at him? Fail to confirm his importance in your life? Never try to please him for the pleasure it gives you? Keep alive your own negative attitude? Fail to show gratitude for what he does? Fail to show your dependence on who he is? Complain to girlfriends about him? Expose his foibles to others? Show disdain for him in public? Embarrass him? Whine endlessly about all your problems? Fail to teach the kids that dad ranks higher in the pecking order than they do? Fail to grant him the status of family leader?

Spend too much money with the false expectation you will like yourself better? Expect him to make you feel better about yourself? Disturb him unnecessarily at his job? Express complaints about him in front of the kids? Overeat as if you deserve it to feel better about yourself? Fail to acknowledge your secondary role in family matters (as he sees it, darling, not as you suppose it should be)? Fail to step up to your responsibilities for harmony in the home? Fail to use your relationship expertise to generate harmony between the two of you?

Change your habits/personality/behavior from the woman he married? Refer to him minor problems with kids that you could solve if you weren’t fearful the kids would dislike you? Find less interest in him than other people and things outside the home? Fail to read and understand just what goes through his mind during both good and bad relationship incidents? Fail to help him recover from his mistakes and self-caused accidents?

Disagree with each other in front of the children? Fail to reward or admire him for special tasks that please you? Overdo pillow talk with irrelevant or unimportant issues? Resent his frustrated sense of independence? Find ways to shame him? Use too many words, rather than silence-that-informs, to plead your case that he upset you? Resent his rest and recreation with TV and beer immediately after work? Fail to show faith in his judgment when he’s intent on doing things his way (e.g., not asking for directions). Elevate your job as more important than his? Fail to trust him. Resent his earning satisfaction daily at his job while happiness comes to you after years of striving? Disrespect men generally and it leaks over onto him?

You see, I enumerated many ways that you could and perhaps still do that disappoint him. If he provides any feedback, you ignore it. In any event, before he met you at the altar he expected none of the above or he would have left you standing by yourself. Now he takes it out on you. He resents, resists, and eventually retaliates on some simple thread the camel’s back can no longer carry.

Men are not inclined to stay married to women who are not the same one they married. Some men do it by sneaking off to cheat first. Others let their woman’s surprises turn them into abusers. Still others just walk out. Finally, a few hang around having had their masculine courage smashed into apathy; they prefer the certainty of misery to the uncertainty of change, which then reverses the game by costing them your respect.

Men follow inspiring female leadership in relationships. When will relationship experts, however,  learn to lead men respectfully in ways that men accept with dignity and gratefulness? Learn to make themselves more important by making themselves less obvious, less intent on being completely understood, less convinced that only they know what’s proper, and less convinced that micro-management will improve their marriage?

My pinkie finger article is aimed at highlighting your upsets and leaving unstated what you expect out of him. It dumps your displeasure in his lap to do with as he pleases, which gently and without accusing flips his ‘Uh Oh’ switch to read: ‘I probably should not do it that way again’. Self-correction is a much more agreeable meal for him to digest, which makes you as the relationship pinkie-waving ‘cook’ look much more dependable, friendlier, and likeable. He can easily learn that he wants to remain closer to you rather than another.

The marriage ceremony clouds the outlook of so many wives. She feels authorized to use the tongue as primary weapon to get her way. The tongue is heard and female ears listen. However, hunter-conquerors primarily depend on eyesight to determine what to believe. A wife’s yakking what’s right for her makes husband stubborn, his ears close, and he relies more and more on what he sees. Usually her constant tongue flapping, spreading out from overeating, and weakening interest in what she has to say. It’s another way that diminishing likeability undermines mutual love, respect, dependency, and fidelity.

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2770. Women Lose Their Way to Get Their Way


God designs each individual with free will and desire to get their way with others, which makes competition the most important motivator for pursuing self-interest. Men are competitors by nature. A man finds a woman to be an acceptable competitor until he conquers her. After which she’s expected to cooperate with his ‘ownership’ of her as sex partner. She ‘sold’ her assets and he bought them at whatever price she set and insisted he pay. If her price did not obligate him to provide and protect,  he got off light and may not be involved with her future.

The better she competes and delays conquest, the more of his respect she earns, and a man can’t love a woman he doesn’t respect. Consequently, the greater obligation she works out of him before conquest, the greater his respect and love develops for her, and the brighter her future with him in her life.

I’ve learned and drawn two major conclusions after 66 years of studying human motivation and ten years of blog posting and discussion. 1) Women make themselves available for unobligated sex. Shifting more and more toward sex for pleasure, they play the man’s game, and it discourages and stifles men from uplifting their lives as responsible husbands and fathers.

Why? It’s full of masculine beliefs, assumptions, and fears. If she’ll do it for him, she’ll do it for many. No man wants to follow a competitor in her bed. If she’s loose before, she’ll be loose after marriage. His lovemaking may be inferior to those before him. The closer to virginity is her history, the more loyal and faithful she will be to him. Not the ‘used goods’ idea, but the increased threat of disloyalty and infidelity because she knows other guys to whom she may too easily retreat for solace or return to begin again. To a man, it’s easier to avoid being dumped by not obligating oneself to begin with. So, risk avoidance rules the masculine world when marriage is the expected obligation.

2) Fulfillment of a woman’s life is usually viewed as capturing a good man, making him better, keeping him for life and family. Unobligated sex prevents women from earning that satisfaction in such a life. Why? Because men for reasons cited above do not so easily sell or even view themselves as potential mates. Also, men don’t respect women who don’t protect their sexual assets against intrusion for little reason or at no cost. Men figure if they possessed such highly valued assets, they would charge a fortune for access of any kind. Yielding without obligation makes women appear dumb.

Those conclusions are cause and effect. Women are born with the relationship expertise and all else they need to more effectively get their way with men, find and keep a good one, and fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. Men are willing as long as women recruit and keep them in ways that satisfy each man with himself, which puts women in charge when they use the relationship expertise they inherit at birth and which men lack.

Men have the mental and physical strength to fulfill their dominant role in the present. They think little about the future and figure they can handle whatever comes; it weakens their dominant role. Wives gain the advantage when they focus and achieve balance in getting their way for the future and let their husband have his way in the present.

A man’s ability to get his way relies on belief in his potential for strong mental determination and physical strength. The superiority of the female gender, however, enables women to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver their man by focusing on future events and arranging everyday matters to keep their man’s focus on the present.

Women have discovered sex for pleasure. It enables men to effectively deal with them as something close to sex slaves. It’s an unstable social condition because women don’t get their way often enough in other matters and female friendliness falls by the roadside. There’s no turning back either, until women recapture dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide and pressure the rest of us on how to live in society.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2769. The Decay of Relationships, Marriage, and Family


Definition. Society is what we all do. Culture is why we all do it; that is, the values, standards, laws, expectations, and common behaviors that guide and pressure us all in the same direction.

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Traditionally and old school, men dominated the workplace and, consequently, society. Ladies, wives, and mothers guided their man’s influence through kitchen table and pillow talk. Women never stopped wanting a more female- and family-friendly society, and so men produced both for the first three centuries of American existence. Ever more female-friendly interests came to dominate the culture; e.g., men conquered the American West, but women civilized it because husbands listened to wives. The influence of singles slowed development toward female friendliness.

That was long ago to which we can’t return. I lodge my modern-day complaint here.

Nowadays, men dominate both society and culture, because women under leftist political objectives and feminist influence have successfully made enemies of men and women. They push ever harder for women to dominate society, to push men aside against their will. The effect is that women lose their influence in the social and domestic arenas. What they gain on the job, they lose at home and as couples, marrieds, and parents.

As they have for decades, society and culture continue to swing away from home and family. Each generation becomes less interested in permanent marriage. Couples breakup, separate, or divorce sooner rather than later and often after decades of marriage. The traditional and friendly battle of the sexes on the surface continues to morph into a new unnatural and unfriendly war of the sexes beneath the surface. Blame, finger pointing, and other relationship toxins generate tsunami waves of social turmoil that cause the ubiquitous breakup of couples.

Women think they know men but most of it is wrong. They often appear wrong about the female nature too, because they do contrary things. For instance, when competition is appropriate for women to protect sexual assets—what men see as admirable, respectable, and thereby lovable qualities—women instead cooperate by yielding sex. When cooperation is necessary for married couples to blend, wife competes against husband. Both situations are the reverse of what’s in a woman’s heart.

Women also mistakenly try to be more like men. It’s a role reversal. It appears to bring progress, peace, and success in the short term, but troubles lurk below the surface and later emerge or explode.

Feminists, activists, advocates, and supporters directly and indirectly blame men. The blame poison spreads through the male gender, as men commiserate behind bravado and heap disrespect and indignities on females. Men reject blame and toss it back in the form of maltreatment of female interests and values and by calling them crazies. Male resistance, resentment, and retaliation turn male dominance nasty. Castles crumble and relationships tumble or never form up.

Political correctness keeps the fires of irritation smoldering beneath the yearning and dreaming of women for long-term mating. Wives and mothers with husbands civilize society; single men and women do not and so society becomes less civilized as families crumble from PC irritants.

It worsens with each generation. Parents unable to lead by example as mature adults can’t help children self-develop into mature adults. Instead, those parents aim their children to please themselves by turning out good kids, who then turn to peer adolescents for guidance as immature adults.

After a couple lives together a short time, the devotion, likeability, and loyalty that constitute a man’s love dissipate, dissolve, or disappear. He becomes unsatisfied with who he is, what he’s doing and with whom, or both.

Feminism led women to adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. It compensated men with sex while blaming them for relationship breakup. It has backfired; men are sexually satisfied but the social and domestic arenas are crowded with men and women as enemies, an intolerable attitude for a couple to stick together.

Sex does not bond men, but women act as if they believe otherwise. Sex helps capture a man with promises of commitment, but it lacks holding power and sex-only couples suffer from too-weak connections. They either break up or live separate lives under the same roof until children grow up and depart.

Blame or no blame, his nature is such that he grows tired of what he sees and hears every day. His hunter eyes beg for fresher daily sights. Her fear of his mental, emotional, or physical abandonment is soon realized after she blames him. Also, and foreign to female thought, as paraphrased from a flick I saw recently: Behind every extremely attractive woman is a man tired of f***ing her. (Get it? She is always temporary except as she conditions his thinking to be permanent with her.)

Couples in every stage of relationships break up, separate, or divorce. Women can capture—because they use sex—but they can’t keep a man. You could say that men can’t keep a woman, since so many women initiate divorce. But it is irrelevant. However you twist the tail on that dog of a man, men will bark at crazies until women change themselves and men have to step up to new female standards and expectations that tend to make relationships permanent. Women are the only ones who can do that.

As wives go, so goes society. It doesn’t mean that wives directly lead men. It means that wives and other women indirectly and patiently present themselves attractively, set admirable examples of their best feminine qualities, and otherwise process their lives to capture and energize manly motivations that exploit the male nature. Otherwise, they can’t earn a man’s respect, which is the foundation of a man’s love, without which couples have to relate with one-way love, her for him but not the opposite.

We are moving swiftly toward women wasting their love on undeserving men because men can’t love unrespected women. Men can fake love for a while, but that just lengthens the temporariness of a relationship; it doesn’t keep him. And that’s the future American women face today.

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2764. Refresher Thoughts — 14


  1. After puberty has passed, teens and men need to be shown more respect for their self-love to grow. It means that more respect shown by his woman generates more potential to love her. Women need to be shown more love for self-respect to grow. It means that more love shown to her generates more potential to respect him.
  2. Common sense woman, wherefore art thou? Now that gals are mistakenly convinced that sex helps capture and hold a husband, dating fades in favor of just hooking up. I hear it’s becoming common for women to call men at night, and ask if they can come over for sex.
  3. A woman’s attractiveness isn’t universal except for manly desire to conquer her; it’s how the male nature works. Attractive enough to marry applies to few or very few. It’s hard for a woman to believe that, because all women are born convinced they are pretty. But men don’t marry ‘pretty’. A man marries a self-identified virtuous woman, whose prettiness he calls beauty. Virtues abound in a woman’s persona, if he discovers them before conquest. Reason? After conquest he quits looking for weaknesses to get her in bed. No longer looking means he no longer accidentally discovers qualities that he can admire, aka virtues, and she becomes no more virtuous than she was before conquest.
  4. Since day one in November 2007, my blog baseline has been that God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize the sexes to be different in many ways. This is blog day 3585, and I paint a much larger picture. God designs the sexes to also be born alike in certain ways. Each individual is capable of being compatible with a mate, each possesses free will, each is a self-developer of who and what they are to become in life, and each seeks to get their own way whenever possible or practical.
  5. Each individual seeks to get their own way. It makes competition the major energizer in the pursuit of self-interest, which motivates everyone to get on with both self-development and life among others.
  6. Family harmony is much easier achieved under these conditions. Mother raises and disciplines the children. What husband doesn’t like, he deals with his wife. She as mother than deals with the kids. Father makes himself available to protect mom’s authority, enhance family morale, and help mom keep family values and thinking aligned and focused on producing mature adults.

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