Category Archives: How she loses

2813. IT’S ALL RELATIVE


The purpose of money is your convenience. The purpose of a job is earning your money. Convenience makes appointments and job obligations easier to fulfill.

The clock enables you to schedule your life reliably and teach others to rely on you. By doing so, others make their lives easier and as reliable as you try to make yours.

The result of national wealth is prosperity at your level. Wealth builds as we become more productive creatures; that is, by increasing productivity, aka more output per individual in producing something of value to another. The more that personal schedules fail to provide convenience to others, the less convenient their schedules. The less convenient our schedules, the less productive we become, the less wealth grows, and the less prosperity is available and convenient in home and wallet.

OTOH, as productivity declines, wealth shrinks and causes prosperity to decline. It causes jobs to shrink in number and family budgets to shrink, which reduces the convenience available to couples. It’s another cost to our prosperity induced by Feminism and continued by women grown sloppy in their habits of making and sticking religiously to their own schedules and those of others. Who suffers the most from reduced prosperity? Women and children!

A female habit developed over the past few decades, gained new intensity from the pressures of social media. It now spreads as toxic fumes for business by the Millennial generation. Women have trouble departing whomever they are with at any given moment. As if magnetized, present associates rank higher than those to whom they’re obligated next in their schedule. Tardy for work or appointments is epidemic, and disrespect of others parallels it with equal intensity.

Gals can’t depart present-moment associates—connected by either face or phone—to keep appointments or get to work on time. In the name of children, family, health, accidents, and traffic, any disruption to the lives of others is deemed excusable. Alibis and excuses flourish, and women waste their imaginative talent for lies and distortions.

Being tardy or absent delivers disrespect for others; it inconveniences them to make things convenient for you. However you minimize or deny it, your inconsiderate disruption of their thoughts and schedules generates need for them to adjust, and it sponges them with your disrespect for whatever role they fill in your life.

Women expect tardiness or absence to be excused by good intentions for child care, stable alibis such as monthly period, and routine excuses such as traffic. Unrevealed is lost time deeply involved in social media, where the clock can and is likely disregarded.

Women think all is well, if they fully explain themselves. They expect to be forgiven for the disrespect they show those to whom they don’t show as scheduled. To avoid being called hypocrites, Womanhood sticks together. They don’t judge others who do the same things, and women expect someone else to pay the cost of the convenience they gain with tardiness or absence.

Consequently, the epidemic spreads contagiously because no one treats the disease. Personal convenience comes at the cost of others. It’s much easier for women than men to accept such undeserved gifts.

The bellwether of national wealth fades. IOW productivity declines and wealth shrinks. As wealth shrinks, prosperity declines. As prosperity declines, jobs shrink in number and family budgets shrink in convenience. It’s another cost to our prosperity induced by women and Feminism. Who suffers the most from reduced prosperity? Women and children.

Being tardy or absent delivers disrespect for others; it inconveniences them to make things convenient for you. However you minimize or deny it, your inconsiderate disruption of their thoughts and schedules generates need for them to adjust, and it sponges them with disrespect for whatever role they fill in your life.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, guy, How she loses, Sociology 101, The mind

2805. Well-liked Article (#66 updated from January 2008)


A woman easily mismanages her relationship when she exhibits female tendencies that harden her heart for cooperation and soften her head into competing with her man. The following mismanagement tendencies do not cause breakup. The cumulative effects make their relationship intolerable to her man.

  1. Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions regarding him and others.
  2. Busyness motivated by dislike of herself when idle.
  3. Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.
  4. Dedication to pursuing her personal agenda rather than their agenda as couple.
  5. Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.
  6. Fearsomeness brought on by mistakes that she thinks might be repeated.
  7. Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.
  8. Habitually blaming others to escape being blamed herself.
  9. Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.
  10. Loneliness imagined when he’s not with her.
  11. Lonesomeness blamed on husband’s absence at work.
  12. Moodiness that flows from inability to control events that satisfy herself.
  13. Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.
  14. Pill addiction caused by sense of inadequacy to feel good about herself.
  15. Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.
  16. Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to exclusively steer their bus.
  17. Selfishness never un-taught to her in childhood.
  18. Sloppiness or lack of attention to him in the company of his friends and competitors.
  19. Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.
  20. Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.

Those mismanagement tendencies are mostly indirect causes of breakup. Some of it exists in each woman. However, the undesirable effects—more competition and less cooperation—accumulate in their man, and their relationship grows more intolerable to him.

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Blog 2802. Women Cause Porn to Grow


Big Picture. We are in midst of a growing trend of women less able to find, capture, and keep a man. The epidemic grows. Hotties fade into has-beens. Crazies become the new standard. Wives join the crowd outside the home either as dumpees or fattened-up copycats with husbands too porn-habituated to leave their wives. The porn industry and lesbian and gay communities grow as the result.

Little Picture. I cut the subject short.

  • Unable to keep a man, wives and gals are either turning or remaining single and alone for life. Pleading equality or other alibi disrespectful of men, women overeat much as men do and expect their future together to remain as they matched up when women were more trim. It’s a complex picture of causes and effects that women ignore at their misery.
  • Their sex drives differ. Men are sexually motivated by their imagination. Promise lures them. Curiosity energizes them. Imagination motivates them to get moving. Touching and fondling spurs arousal. With intercourse a man seeks to establish dominance and confirm his ability. He seeks to satisfy himself either as conqueror or partner. That’s his sex act, his nature in action.
  • Husbands continue through life expecting to live with the same gal they vowed to live with forever. Each satisfies himself that his choice has most of what he expects. That is, attractiveness to his eyes, mutual excitement from his touch, pleasing voice, pleasant scent, great kisses, and all wrapped into the trim sheath of a supportive partner who makes him feel good about himself. (Trim, as opposed to thin, in that some fat may be present when he proposes. It’s the future expansion of her body, if nothing else upstages it, that breaks the connection with husband.)
  • Her sex drive does not depend on how he looks or feels. It operates in response to how he treats and handles her. Consquently, husbands grow fat after marriage without the effect that she produces with her excess fat, and wives plead for equality to alibi for overeating. OTOH, his sex drive is energized by how she looks and feels; his imagination is the all-powerful motivator behind her appeal and his interest and drive.
  • A causal connection exists between excess fat on the female body and men retreating to porn for sexual stimulation. Fat-caused physical attractiveness deteriorates but it’s secondary. The primary motivator is the discouraging absence of exciting touching, fondling, and arousing stimulation. Touching/fondling holds a man’s interest, stirs his curiosity, and awakens his imagination. If wife’s fat is excess to what husband can tolerate, porn works as substitute for sex habits made suitable by blaming her for lack of self-respect to care better for herself.
  • I expect women have fun in overeating in disregard for what men think, because one root of female behavior is now unwisely based on feminist disrespect of men. However, feminist-think ignores the male nature in hopes of changing it. Men do not respect women who don’t respect themselves; overeating is out of character, disrespectful, and self-defeating for females—as men see it.
  • Men can’t love a woman they can’t respect. Therefore, excess fat prevents a woman being both respected and loved.  

Thus, women directly drive men toward porn by taking away the excitement of men touching, fondling, and activating their arousal with the female body. Indirectly, men lose respect and love from the lack of self-respect in excessively fat women.

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2782. Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?


Her Highness Magnolia inspired this long overdue post.

Q. Her question: “In WWNH you describe our nature “in the raw.” I have a question about men. Does a man in [his male nature] believe that he has a right to a woman’s body (any woman, even a stranger) that he can do as he pleases?”

A. Yes it’s embedded as a sprig of male dominance, but don’t read too much into it. The most likely outcome lies with your term “believe.” Men believe what they figure out better than what they are told. Modern men are told legally and politically that they have no uninvited access to the female body. Belief spreads from the pressures.

Much more importantly, however, his so-called ‘right’ is susceptible to the influence of the superior gender, which has more than enough ability to neutralize it. Men are dominant, but in the world of competition before a man conquers a woman, men are vulnerable to relationship expertise and female determination about right and wrong. That is, before individual conquests, women reign with control of what men want the most.

It’s much easier to believe than what women tell men in legal and political terms. In a unique contrast, men have the physical and mental strength to get their way. But women gang up and get their way by making men dance the female tune, namely he has no inherent right to a woman’s body.

But once she yields conquest, he reigns and she has no authority left to compete on the matter. She learns to cooperate and hopes he will treat her rightly. With conquered women who learn to cooperate, men have less reason to enforce their way. They lean more toward cooperation and more easily follow female expectations.

——

Each sex has only one distinctly different, inborn, lifetime, and primal urge that constantly pressures men and women to interact together. Combined and with little else, those two motivational forces are capable of perpetuating the species,which seems to be a necessary outcome whether designed by God or and sought by Nature.

Men are born with the motivational appetite to spread their seed. Particulars aren’t specified, just spread it. Women inherit mother love upon giving birth, which is the primal urge to care for the children that result from males spreading their seed. Again particulars aren’t specified as we are all free will individuals. Thus, without other motivational drives, homo sapiens is perpetuated in the simplest fashion. It’s a self-perpetuating ‘human engine’ and little else is needed;  men screw, women nurse, and life continues.

Both sexes are born with free will and the desire to get their way among others. This is the chicken: Competitive fires are fueled by mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and wives getting their way by dissuading men from doing as they please with females. This is the egg: Men yield to female expectations in exchange for what females have and women are willing to trade for civilization, peace, and help raising kids.

With that behind us, your question can be answered with common sense. Does the urge to conquer women authorize men to have their way? Yes! In the absence of civilized order and peace, how else can a man be effective, live out his primary purpose in life?

To change Yes to No is the perfect invitation. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, wives domesticate husbands, and all females rein in male aggression, train men, and expect men to provide and protect against always getting their own way with females. Men are conditioned to accept no access rights, because they are rewarded with frequent and convenient sex at the discretion of individual females.

IOW, all women have a say in preventing men from having their way with females.We call it civilization. Society is what we do. Culture is why we do what we do. Consequently, either women reign over cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide all of us, or men have their way even with strangers. It’s a great master plan that women have to bring down to the individual level. Unfortunately for modern females, old school did it better than nowadays.

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2780. Balance Sought by Pushing, Shoving, and Cooperating


  1. Women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. Men don’t need it. He has affection delivery disorder, and it doesn’t match her affection deficit disorder. Thus, she’s burdened to train her man to get what she expects by way of affection.
  2. The male nature is well primed by Nature and hormones to be aggressive, dominant, and even violent. Men are well primed by sexual rationing that enables women to impose moral standards, female expectations, and motherly teachings and thereby tame, civilize, and domesticate the male nature for female-friendly and family responsibility.
  3. Women fool themselves two ways but men keep the upper hand on the subject. They claim that men are only after sex and seek to impose guilt on their man. Each man knows his woman’s blame is only partially true. Also, her guilt flinging is undeserved. He refuses to feel guilty. His nature avoids explaining himself. So he ignores her claim. If she isn’t totally right, why should he pay attention to such foolish thoughts?
  4. Men are only after sex before conquest plus anytime a man is denied sex that he has earned and thereby deserves. It’s the denial that keeps him focused on sex. Men can deal amicably with other issues. It’s why hard-to-get works so well for women. He hasn’t earned her for sex. The harder he tries, the more she earns of his respect, and respect is the foundation of a man’s love.
  5. Society is what we all do to live separate lives. Culture guides and governs all of us to fit compatibly into society.
  6. Male dominance prevails in society if women abdicate and don’t impose their collective will to promote female-friendly cultural values, standards, and expectations to guide people in society.
  7. Women who practice masculine-style sexual freedom eventually lose; it’s the man’s game. Penetration by penis, however slight, makes a woman less admired, less virtuous, less respected, and more easily mistreated. Moreover, female promiscuity and masculine respect of women are mutually exclusive. Men deny it but how successful are relationships after conquest?

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101

2773. We Are Also Born Alike


I post articles about how the sexes are born different and, as the result, are motivated differently in life. There’s another side. In a few ways they are born alike in ways that underwrite both their inborn and motivational differences.

Each individual is born with free will. Each seeks to get his or her way associating with others. Consequently, each determines their own self-interest, which motivates them to promote and energize their self-development (aka living life their own way). Those dynamic and governing influences take hold after the conscious mind opens in the third year and last for life.

Free will, getting one’s way, and self-development stir up so much emotional turmoil that it makes both intra- and inter-sex competition the dominant generator of energy in human relations. Everybody competes all the time.

Examples: Women compete with women for the best man hopefully but good enough actually, and then each competes with one to preserve or parlay her self-interest into a successful couple. Men compete with men for a virtuous woman. If she turns out to be less than virtuous, then he can’t maintain his satisfaction with himself and escape seems desirable. So when you hear women claim they are not competitors, recall those and a gazillion other inter-connections among people.

We are designed and created to be compatible as couples. Man or woman, unless handicapped, each begins life with sufficient ability to live compatibly with a member of the other sex. Being able doesn’t mean it happens.

What keeps the competiton balanced? It begs the question, how come one sex doesn’t win the gender-level competition and enslave the other? The answer is unequal but fair ability to compete.

It appears to me this way. God saw it coming and endows the sexes differently. He creates a dominant sex, inspired to be a socializing bunch of immovable objects, and endows it with physical and mental powers so the objects can get their way—but he leaves them void of interest in relationship functioning. Thus, men have power to spare but lack talents for creating and managing relationships.

Then God creates the other sex, inspired to be a socializing bunch of irresistible forces, and endows them with relationship expertise and ability to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. In that way, using free will for ability and self-interest for guidance, women are empowered to avoid being enslaved and can, in fact, get their way over males worth the feminine effort to do so. Their gender is superior, since women have the motivation, influence, talent, skills, and determination to not be enslaved either individually or collectively. They can hold their own and even do better when they pay attention to what wins more than what loses.

The irresistible forces of the superior gender compete constantly with the immovable objects of the dominant sex to produce what each seeks, specifically some advantage and their own way. Competitive balance arrives when one  immovable object keeps himself satisfied by satisfying one irresistible force who convinces him to provide, protect, and perhaps even die for her.

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2771. Why Men Don’t Stay


No accusations are aimed your way. However, something in the following should hit every woman’s guilt button.

It doesn’t matter if cheating husband’s other woman is perfect partner or not. If he sought her out, it means you’re no longer the perfect partner he thought he married. You were the love of his life. So what fractured, shattered, or crumbled his love into whatever leaves no loyalty for you? He’s not much more than a shadow of him as groom.

I’ve described this repeatedly in previous articles. Positive and affirming emotions such as love, respect, vows, promises, good intentions, and mutual dependency do not hold marriages together. Not as much as negative emotions rip marriages apart with continual bombardment of irritants and criticism implied or stated.

Newly developed emotional differences alert wives. But so many fail to exploit their relationship expertise. That is, fail to use their ability to recognize little emotional disconnects, and for which they fail to find ways to eliminate them before they rise to the level of marital threat.

Counselors and marital advisors advise what to do to please your partner. It may help a little but it’s not the answer for marital success. Your time is better spent avoiding what ticks off your partner or spouse in the first place. Stop kicking or knocking him down. You might kick yourself for awhile.

When a husband takes up with another woman, he’s at fault. No way to justify it. However, we can examine his motivational background. (Pointed at all women and not truly you, the writing just comes better in second person, you, and hopefully reads more cognitively that way.)

His love depends on his respect for you, so how did you undermine it? Nag? Criticize? Withhold sex? Enable him to feel inadequate in bed? Blame him? Point out his shortcomings? ID his faults? Treat him as uninteresting? Talk endlessly about things of no interest to him? Feed him what you like instead of what he likes? Get up grouchy in the morning? Defend those who offend him?

Do little to please him but expect him to please you continuously? Act grouchy after work? Have too many headaches at night? Refuse to entertain his friends? Resent his hobbies or habits that take him away from you? Dislike yourself and too lazy to do something about it? Forget who you were that attracted him to you? Plan to return to your natural personality once you hook him?

Always act sick with little reason? Manipulate him? Never smile at him? Fail to confirm his importance in your life? Never try to please him for the pleasure it gives you? Keep alive your own negative attitude? Fail to show gratitude for what he does? Fail to show your dependence on who he is? Complain to girlfriends about him? Expose his foibles to others? Show disdain for him in public? Embarrass him? Whine endlessly about all your problems? Fail to teach the kids that dad ranks higher in the pecking order than they do? Fail to grant him the status of family leader?

Spend too much money with the false expectation you will like yourself better? Expect him to make you feel better about yourself? Disturb him unnecessarily at his job? Express complaints about him in front of the kids? Overeat as if you deserve it to feel better about yourself? Fail to acknowledge your secondary role in family matters (as he sees it, darling, not as you suppose it should be)? Fail to step up to your responsibilities for harmony in the home? Fail to use your relationship expertise to generate harmony between the two of you?

Change your habits/personality/behavior from the woman he married? Refer to him minor problems with kids that you could solve if you weren’t fearful the kids would dislike you? Find less interest in him than other people and things outside the home? Fail to read and understand just what goes through his mind during both good and bad relationship incidents? Fail to help him recover from his mistakes and self-caused accidents?

Disagree with each other in front of the children? Fail to reward or admire him for special tasks that please you? Overdo pillow talk with irrelevant or unimportant issues? Resent his frustrated sense of independence? Find ways to shame him? Use too many words, rather than silence-that-informs, to plead your case that he upset you? Resent his rest and recreation with TV and beer immediately after work? Fail to show faith in his judgment when he’s intent on doing things his way (e.g., not asking for directions). Elevate your job as more important than his? Fail to trust him. Resent his earning satisfaction daily at his job while happiness comes to you after years of striving? Disrespect men generally and it leaks over onto him?

You see, I enumerated many ways that you could and perhaps still do that disappoint him. If he provides any feedback, you ignore it. In any event, before he met you at the altar he expected none of the above or he would have left you standing by yourself. Now he takes it out on you. He resents, resists, and eventually retaliates on some simple thread the camel’s back can no longer carry.

Men are not inclined to stay married to women who are not the same one they married. Some men do it by sneaking off to cheat first. Others let their woman’s surprises turn them into abusers. Still others just walk out. Finally, a few hang around having had their masculine courage smashed into apathy; they prefer the certainty of misery to the uncertainty of change, which then reverses the game by costing them your respect.

Men follow inspiring female leadership in relationships. When will relationship experts, however,  learn to lead men respectfully in ways that men accept with dignity and gratefulness? Learn to make themselves more important by making themselves less obvious, less intent on being completely understood, less convinced that only they know what’s proper, and less convinced that micro-management will improve their marriage?

My pinkie finger article is aimed at highlighting your upsets and leaving unstated what you expect out of him. It dumps your displeasure in his lap to do with as he pleases, which gently and without accusing flips his ‘Uh Oh’ switch to read: ‘I probably should not do it that way again’. Self-correction is a much more agreeable meal for him to digest, which makes you as the relationship pinkie-waving ‘cook’ look much more dependable, friendlier, and likeable. He can easily learn that he wants to remain closer to you rather than another.

The marriage ceremony clouds the outlook of so many wives. She feels authorized to use the tongue as primary weapon to get her way. The tongue is heard and female ears listen. However, hunter-conquerors primarily depend on eyesight to determine what to believe. A wife’s yakking what’s right for her makes husband stubborn, his ears close, and he relies more and more on what he sees. Usually her constant tongue flapping, spreading out from overeating, and weakening interest in what she has to say. It’s another way that diminishing likeability undermines mutual love, respect, dependency, and fidelity.

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