We commonly think of men as warriors and women as peace keepers. It’s not the whole truth; women keep their warrior role behind the scene of everyday life, operating dynamically in background. She too aims to get her way, until she can’t and has to find another way to retain her advantage.
Regardless of age, every male and female that join up as a couple meet at this street corner of life. Two conquerors face off. He seeks to conquer her for sex without obligation, although elder men are not so picky. His nature drives him.
She seeks to conquer him for marriage without yielding sex until he honors her directly by obligating himself to her and her alone. Her instinct, intuition, and lessons learned in life guide her. She intends to convert what she has in assets of every kind into satisfying her wants, needs, hopes, and dreams. She is driven to get more out of life than just having sex with a man and raising their offspring. It too easily turns out to be by herself, if she can’t find a way to convince her impregnating seed spreader to honor her wishes.
They battle unevenly as they are very unlike each other. First, they are born much different than just genitalia. Second, the battle is between his instinct from birth versus her intuition from lessons learned in childhood. Third, he is motivated by his habits (subconscious mind) to have sex with her and by his thinking (conscious mind) to overcome whatever resistance he encounters. Fourth, she is motivated by her habits of action to proceed safely and not dim her future but to use her thinking mind to screen for a mate.
Conflicted with infatuation or romantic love, she is caught between caution and excitement and guided by both habits and her thinking mind. He is usually caught between why his tactics don’t work, and what does he try next to get her to yield? His urge to conquer is subconscious, habitual, and ever present, and men learn in life that indirectness works best with discriminating women.
Both sexes are born with strong motivations to get their way associating with someone else. Everybody learns in life how to manage their self-interest to get their own way, and it comes up at the next street corner of life. That’s where a gal can find the rationale to either yield or refuse to be conquered.
Let us say the man yields first but ever so slowly. He relents, keeps trying to get her in bed, learns he can’t do without her, proposes and they marry. It happens within the following more complicated process.
His conquering urge originates deep in his motivational nature. His intentions are intense, and if she is attractive and appealing enough to him, he continues to pursue even as she refuses to yield sex for first time together. He continues to pursue even as conquest appears fruitless. As fruitless pursuit lengthens, he convinces himself that he must have her at any price, even without first sex together. Failing to conquer for sex, he adopts the strategy that he must ‘own’ her, one of his possessions that he can’t do without.
His determination grows to own her, and her virtues grow in his mind and heart. It confirms in her mind that he is earning her, which is essential to fulfilling her female hopes and dreams. Conditions are ripe for his proposal of marriage; he just can’t live much longer without owning her as his own. He got there by his fruitless persistence to get his way, while she used her determination to get her way with him. Her governing ability ruled over his dominance and physical potential.
Let us say the woman yields first. She relents and accepts his invitation to bed. She learns she can’t do without him and hopes his proposal will follow. But they don’t marry. It most likely happens within the following process.
She relents, can’t refuse his love and charm any longer. She wants so badly to please him that her heart is about to burst with love. So, she yields their first time sex together.
In modern times it is by far the most popular outcome. She is about to find out: 1) Conquest changes a man as the result of his inborn nature. 2) She doesn’t change at first but she’s surprised; he knew before conquest if she would be a keeper, booty, or disposable. 3) Sex does not bond a man, which is another sex difference with huge impact on relationships. 4) He won the competition with her, which also freed him to conquer someone else. It’s predominantly his nature making her the victim, the one who lost her future just by yielding prematurely.
Her conquering urge that marriage comes before sex does not emanate from her primal nature inherited at birth. She did, however, inherit at birth the expectation that the raising of her children will need the assistance of someone else, mostly a physically stronger male whom she can condition to provide, protect, and stay with her to meet her need and brighten her future.
Marriage offers insurance for relationship longevity. So, she learned to conquer for marriage while growing up; it is intuitive from parental, cultural, religious, and other lessons learned in girlhood. She also learned to sense opportunity and leverage her determination to defer conquest until marriage, and thus she gets her way and satisfies her primal need for a brighter future. He wins frequent and convenient access to sex with her.
The relationship changes after conquest, seemingly for the good, but very often for something less if he wins. Being a monumental event, neither is the same couple after conquest. He changes too much, and she has to follow suit to keep from losing him. He changes more to her advantage, when she wins marriage before conquest.
Natural Law: When girls chase boys, plenty of sex and male dominance are the result. When boys have to chase girls without winning sexual favors, stable and dependable masculine character develops out of fruitless boyish efforts to act like a man.