Category Archives: marriage

2783. Warriors Rape! Why?


Her Highness Beloved inspired this post as follow on to 2782 – Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?

She asks, “I was wondering how so many men who would never dream of raping in their hometowns could become such animals when in a war situation.”

I’m not sure this assumption is correct. “…men who would never dream of raping in their hometowns…” I think many dream of it, and it highlights what follows.

Imagine that we’re talking about a 30-year old adult male who was born just now. Hasn’t lived a day in this world. He’s as innocent as an infant. What does his psyche look like with regard to rape?

He’s born lacking in self-love that women inherit in huge amounts. So, he’s not able to love someone who hasn’t earned his respect. Women live by love, men live by respect.

Men are born full of self-respect, which enables them to respect others who earn it. If not earned, he’s free to treat them for his best advantage. In the male psyche, it translates into his not having to live up to anyone else in order to keep himself satisfied with himself. He needs no supreme being or code of conduct to guide his behavior with others. To the newborn adult imagined above, religion, morality, and love are foreign to his thinking—until and unless taught otherwise as his future unfolds in childhood.

With little or no interest in living up to someone else or something bigger than himself, a conscience isn’t present. It doesn’t develop until and unless he’s taught to be guided by high levels of right and wrong and domestic and social standards in childhood. IOW, he becomes pressured to respect and live up to the expectations of those around him, where his respect of others is fashioned around the discipline of authority figures.

At birth, men inherit their unique, strongest, and lifelong motivational force. They are energized to spread their seed. However, each man lacks the internal guidance to do other than get what he wants, follow his will, live in the present.

As described above, the male psyche is not wired against rape, which is an extension of getting his way in the process of spreading seed. Women, given the power to do so, make rape subject to female-friendly values, social standards, and legal discipline, which men learn as toddlers and beyond.

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Let’s switch the scene from birth to childhood life and imagine a scale to measure effectiveness of parental teaching that indirectly discourages the urge to rape. No longer an infant, children are exposed to religious values, morality, conscience development, respect for opposite sex, and respect of self-discipline. Imagine this scale to ID potential rapists: 10 = children taught the highest quality on those five criteria. 5 = children taught some but not close to high quality about those five criteria. 0 = children largely ignored about teaching those five criteria.

Tens don’t rape. Fives think of it at home but don’t rape until in war. Zeros rape in their hometown. The male nature says rape is okay; females teach them not. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame boys with lures about marriage, bachelorettes lure men into marriage, and wives domesticate men to help her live in the future. Done well by most females, rape becomes a minimalized problem.

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2782. Can He Do As He Pleases With Her?


Her Highness Magnolia inspired this long overdue post.

Q. Her question: “In WWNH you describe our nature “in the raw.” I have a question about men. Does a man in [his male nature] believe that he has a right to a woman’s body (any woman, even a stranger) that he can do as he pleases?”

A. Yes it’s embedded as a sprig of male dominance, but don’t read too much into it. The most likely outcome lies with your term “believe.” Men believe what they figure out better than what they are told. Modern men are told legally and politically that they have no uninvited access to the female body. Belief spreads from the pressures.

Much more importantly, however, his so-called ‘right’ is susceptible to the influence of the superior gender, which has more than enough ability to neutralize it. Men are dominant, but in the world of competition before a man conquers a woman, men are vulnerable to relationship expertise and female determination about right and wrong. That is, before individual conquests, women reign with control of what men want the most.

It’s much easier to believe than what women tell men in legal and political terms. In a unique contrast, men have the physical and mental strength to get their way. But women gang up and get their way by making men dance the female tune, namely he has no inherent right to a woman’s body.

But once she yields conquest, he reigns and she has no authority left to compete on the matter. She learns to cooperate and hopes he will treat her rightly. With conquered women who learn to cooperate, men have less reason to enforce their way. They lean more toward cooperation and more easily follow female expectations.

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Each sex has only one distinctly different, inborn, lifetime, and primal urge that constantly pressures men and women to interact together. Combined and with little else, those two motivational forces are capable of perpetuating the species,which seems to be a necessary outcome whether designed by God or and sought by Nature.

Men are born with the motivational appetite to spread their seed. Particulars aren’t specified, just spread it. Women inherit mother love upon giving birth, which is the primal urge to care for the children that result from males spreading their seed. Again particulars aren’t specified as we are all free will individuals. Thus, without other motivational drives, homo sapiens is perpetuated in the simplest fashion. It’s a self-perpetuating ‘human engine’ and little else is needed;  men screw, women nurse, and life continues.

Both sexes are born with free will and the desire to get their way among others. This is the chicken: Competitive fires are fueled by mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and wives getting their way by dissuading men from doing as they please with females. This is the egg: Men yield to female expectations in exchange for what females have and women are willing to trade for civilization, peace, and help raising kids.

With that behind us, your question can be answered with common sense. Does the urge to conquer women authorize men to have their way? Yes! In the absence of civilized order and peace, how else can a man be effective, live out his primary purpose in life?

To change Yes to No is the perfect invitation. Mothers civilize boys, girls tame adolescents, wives domesticate husbands, and all females rein in male aggression, train men, and expect men to provide and protect against always getting their own way with females. Men are conditioned to accept no access rights, because they are rewarded with frequent and convenient sex at the discretion of individual females.

IOW, all women have a say in preventing men from having their way with females.We call it civilization. Society is what we do. Culture is why we do what we do. Consequently, either women reign over cultural values, standards, and expectations that guide all of us, or men have their way even with strangers. It’s a great master plan that women have to bring down to the individual level. Unfortunately for modern females, old school did it better than nowadays.

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2781. ‘Midlife Crisis’


We commonly use midlife crisis to refer to the unexplainable behavior of men as they pass through their fifties. They transit a phase of acting different, out of character to their spouses. As Gail Sheehy reports in her 1976 book, Passages, both sexes go through a series of passages throughout life. Entangled together for our purpose here, middle age and midlife passages generally run in that order from ages 40 to 60 for non-executive and 50 to 70 for executive-type men. During short periods within those spans, a man reassesses and reconfigures his life, sometimes against his best interest in the eyes of his spouse.

Her Highness Yellowblue asks me to share what I can to help deal with her husband. So, I offer these thoughts.

He questions:

  • The self-admiration he gets from accomplishing what he works on routinely.
  • His work life as less enjoyable; wonders how he got there and why he’s trapped in it.
  • Whether past effort justifies his significance in life.

He seeks to:

  • Give up the past, live a good life now and not 15 years from now.
  • Let his feelings come out as more carefree and subject to change.
  • Dissolve the success model of his past, restore some adolescent habits, and live in the ‘right now’

He’s ready to:

  • Revise his life to make it more enjoyable with less effort; become more efficient living a good life.
  • Enjoy more independence from others, welcome different attachments.
  • Move his thinking from us-ness and more toward me-ness.

He:

  • Reviews his thoughts about aging and imminent death.
  • Displaces his inner contradictions from dependence on spouse (and does it faster than she can adjust).
  • Finds more contrast than likeness with parents, spouses, and children and tends to reevaluate his life more independently in those relationships.

No two guys are alike, timing is unpredictable, and spousal reaction can become terrifying. It’s just another routine midlife crisis for his spouse to deal with.

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2780. Balance Sought by Pushing, Shoving, and Cooperating


  1. Women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. Men don’t need it. He has affection delivery disorder, and it doesn’t match her affection deficit disorder. Thus, she’s burdened to train her man to get what she expects by way of affection.
  2. The male nature is well primed by Nature and hormones to be aggressive, dominant, and even violent. Men are well primed by sexual rationing that enables women to impose moral standards, female expectations, and motherly teachings and thereby tame, civilize, and domesticate the male nature for female-friendly and family responsibility.
  3. Women fool themselves two ways but men keep the upper hand on the subject. They claim that men are only after sex and seek to impose guilt on their man. Each man knows his woman’s blame is only partially true. Also, her guilt flinging is undeserved. He refuses to feel guilty. His nature avoids explaining himself. So he ignores her claim. If she isn’t totally right, why should he pay attention to such foolish thoughts?
  4. Men are only after sex before conquest plus anytime a man is denied sex that he has earned and thereby deserves. It’s the denial that keeps him focused on sex. Men can deal amicably with other issues. It’s why hard-to-get works so well for women. He hasn’t earned her for sex. The harder he tries, the more she earns of his respect, and respect is the foundation of a man’s love.
  5. Society is what we all do to live separate lives. Culture guides and governs all of us to fit compatibly into society.
  6. Male dominance prevails in society if women abdicate and don’t impose their collective will to promote female-friendly cultural values, standards, and expectations to guide people in society.
  7. Women who practice masculine-style sexual freedom eventually lose; it’s the man’s game. Penetration by penis, however slight, makes a woman less admired, less virtuous, less respected, and more easily mistreated. Moreover, female promiscuity and masculine respect of women are mutually exclusive. Men deny it but how successful are relationships after conquest?

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2779. Well-liked Article (#34a posted in January 2008)


  1. A man’s primary mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with.
  2. A woman’s primary mission in life is to be good by doing good, mostly in ways that make her grateful for spreading her love and important to others for her being so good.
  3. Marriage and associated responsibilities don’t uplift men but add unwanted pressure until each man finds himself better off by the presence of his home and his family.
  4. Women need all men more than the reverse, especially those hopeful of a permanent relationship who want to choose from among the best men.
  5. Women work to love. Men love to work. If yours isn’t like that, blame a poor upbringing.
  6. To stay with a woman, men must be rewarded for husbanding and fathering according to behaviors expected by the male gender and how each man is satisfied with himself in those roles.
  7. A man’s love is founded on respect for a woman, which includes her likeability supporting him in his work.

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2778. Well-liked Article (#33 posted in January 2008)


Men are not naturally romantic. Except when forced to honor females with manly spell-binding joy, romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it. If not ‘trained’ to habitually romance her before marriage, he won’t do it afterward and will probably be short on intimacy after sex.

Boys first learn romance by watching father affectionately romance mother without sexual implications. Later, they learn from girls who inspire manly romance by withholding foreplay and from women by withholding sex.

Women expect men to be more romantic, but romance slows a man’s urge to merge. He expects to romance a woman to the extent that she requires for him to initiate foreplay or sex.

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2776. Well-liked Article (#7 posted in 2007)


Testosterone hardens a male’s head and heart for survival early in life. A good woman can soften his hard-headedness after many years as a couple. Testosterone fades in old age and also softens his heart.

Feminist theory, propaganda, and pressures try to soften his head and heart before Nature allows, and so men rebel and women pay the price.

When men don’t highly value integrity in others, they likely lack it themselves. This makes vow-keeping much more difficult for such men.

Men have little natural interest in making things safer, until they foresee or face endangerment. They also have little interest in family compatibility, except as it first makes their job more significant as producer, provider, protector, problem-solver.

No one talks about friend with benefits (FWB) anymore, so it must now be well-practiced behavior. Think men don’t like that freebie?

For a man to respect a woman, marriage is the only legitimate reason for her to have had sex with another man. The new FWB practice puts participating young women out of bounds for winning a man’s enduring love. He’s cuckolded by her every male friend, whether she actually did it or not.

Modern women avoid femininity, provide pre-marital sex, act like guys, smother their man with devotion, and try to appear ordinary. Men marry them, but they don’t stay married. Men don’t marry guys or faux guys, but they stay with the woman they consider extraordinary female and like his bride.

A man stays with a woman when she fulfills the image and expectations he held before they married. If she changes, as most women do, her surprises register tolerably, undesirably, unpleasantly, irritatingly, or worse.

To a man, his woman’s constructive criticism is still nagging.

A man’s devotion dies, when he’s not appreciated in an upbeat fashion for who he is and what he does.

If shack up or marry up is not the man’s idea, then he will not long honor whatever relationship arrangement they enter. Theirs will be temporary, if she talks him into any kind of relationship.

Feminine mystique attracts men and holds their interest. An air of secrecy and generally being hard to get draws men into a woman’s aura of charm. It keeps her in charge and puts men on the defensive. It’s the opposite of her chasing him, and it forces each man to prove his worth to her.

When he perceives charming but strong resistance to his first priority, sexual conquest, it pushes him deeper into the role of seller, which proportionally reinforces her as the buyer.

Female modesty tames males. It’s a woman’s greatest counterbalance to male domination. Modesty keeps men at a distance as she declares it her territory, and it empowers a woman to avoid and prevent embarrassment. It keeps men on the defensive about female sensibilities, which weakens male domination.

The foundation of a man’s love is respect for a woman. Romantic love, mostly based on infatuation and lust, does not require a man’s respect. Plus, romantic love fades after a year or two. Enduring love, if it’s to replace the romantic kind and not also fade away, requires his respect that she earned early and continues to maintain.

Feminine adherence to moral standards helps earn masculine respect. Moral standards serve women and children predominantly but only when women promote and push morality such that it suppresses and effectively ‘outlaws’ extreme male domination and aggression and violence.

Female-designed customs and manners calm men. By women insisting on and upholding social and domestic standards, men learn they must please women to enjoy feminine endorsement and perhaps their company.

Hard-headed feminine gentleness beguiles males. It adds to both her mystique and influence. Far removed from a weakness, gentleness strengthens her self-respect, which many admire as a virtue, and which earns a man’s respect.

Respect to, gratefulness for, and dedication pledged to and kept with one man inspires masculine fidelity, but it doesn’t guarantee it. As hunter-conquerors, men can be tamed, civilized, domesticated and acclimated to monogamy when women lead by example. Of course it’s not fair, but men have little interest partnering with only one woman—unless women sell them on the idea and reward them for both husbanding and fathering.

Virginity is under valued by modern women. Women desire men that know how to satisfy them sexually. With her, experience counts. Men desire females that other men have not had. With him, it’s beating out all those other guys. So, it’s not virginity so much to men as it is her sexual inexperience by which he can measure his competitive prowess.

Men expect this first in a relationship: a cooperative and helpful rather than a competitive and offending spirit. Next, they expect respect and gratitude for who he is and what he does. The former invites him to partner, the latter holds him as mate.

Modest and celebratory apparel crowns pregnant women as heroes to men. T-shirt wearing, beer-belly pregnant women destroy their attractiveness. They send a loud message that they don’t give a damn whether others admire them as mother and him as father. In fact, they make their man look like a chump—his woman uglifies what he sees as wonderful prospect for the future.

She offers her honor. He honors her offer. Men thrive on her and off her.

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