Category Archives: marriage

2669. Superior and Dominant Genders — 02

Women are victims of conventional wisdom. It actually sucks the life out of a solid marriage.

Domestic issues keep women frustrated, relationships in turmoil, and men dissatisfied with women. Those issues burst out as toxic attitudes that pit men and women as enemies. The following attitudes, for example.

The expectation but impossibility of equal sharing of homecare, childcare, etc. Sooner or later men make themselves unworthy. Blame that men are somehow at fault for women’s problems. Distrust of men because they don’t believe or act as women do. Failure to earn a man’s respect but still expect his love. Wifely conviction that husband has to be told about everything she considers wrong. Feminist-endowed excuse that she is always right. Female willingness to accept political correctness as legitimate. Wifely expectation that hubby causes their problems and is responsible to improve their relationship. Female rationalizing that makes someone else responsible for her problems.  Women listen only to women about men. Wives forego being the heart and neck of the home with intention to  become the head. Wife complains endlessly.

Plus, too little respect and gratitude for who a man is and little or no dependence on what he does. Men object but women pay little attention because of the blame, and so men learn to resent, resist, and retaliate. Payback saves face.

Female attitudes and expectations cause women to act so different from their nature that they lose their position in life as the superior gender. They lose to the dominant gender by their inability and unwillingness to earn a man’s respect. (Funny thing about respect, the only way to earn it is to first demo either trust or respect.)

Each woman has a different set of complaints, and except for sex it quickly makes her obsolete to her man. If not before marriage, then afterward if she changes to become a persona different than he married.

In short, conventional wisdom implants false hope that women can find happiness by ignoring their design, abandoning their nature, foregoing their inborn endowments, and short-circuiting their hormonal energies. Copying manly habits makes them less attractive, needed, and desirable to men as candidates for marriage. Men seek to marry a virtuous woman; feminine attractiveness, modesty, and cooperation (rather than competition) are virtues common to most men.

Conventional wisdom is that women focus on independence, sexual freedom, and using men. In the process, women ignore their natural and inborn ability, unique female blessing, and personal strength. It weakens feminine superiority and strengthens masculine dominance; that seems of little concern to women which is another part of their captivation by conventional wisdom.

Men devalued by women find ways to win in the end. Men do not lose to the weaker sex, and modern female tactics make women weaker and men more determined to win than ever before.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage, Sociology 101

2668. Superior vs. Dominant Gender — 01

I sense a rant coming on. When sex is everything, no room exists for recovery. Example, what does relationship recovery look like for women today? We are six or seven sub-generations* deep into Feminism. Is it paying off for women in their relationships with men?

Modern women don’t know jack about Jack and not enough about Jill. The sexes are born very different, yet cultural and political trending add constant pressure for them to be more alike. Unisex is no longer a popular term, but the pressure to achieve it is certainly common. (Toilets according to personal preference?)

Women routinely let a man’s sexual pleasure—and perhaps some claimed by her—to substitute for what they can no longer get reliably out of one man. Examples: brighter future for her, permanent relationship, mutual respect, mutual love, likeability based on persona rather than sexual compatibility, sexual fidelity, his duty to stay following a surprise pregnancy, fulfilled moral obligations, dependence on him, two-parent home, fathering their children, he provides and protects, family leadership, lifetime marriage. Oh, she might get a few of those, but her nature craves all of those benefits to be available with one man in her life.

Women can’t get what they want out of players and modern men, unless they agree that sex is everything or at least enough. Men don’t have much more to offer, because they don’t have too. Women are too liberal with their expectations about men. They can’t get their way except temporarily by yielding, can’t get what they expect to get except as they play the man’s game of cheap and easy sex. They rationalize that it’s enough in order to have their own man or avoid being dumped. They also swallow their pride, self-respect, and ability to negotiate for a better life for her and her kids.

Women themselves destroy the worth of their natural superiority at virtually no cost to men. No negotiations about obligations; just give aways that enable men to always win in the present but women lose for their future. Men by nature manage the present but ignore the future; they can handle whatever comes, which in itself—if not influenced by a well-loved woman—is enough to ruin a woman’s future.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with other people. Jill straddles the wave of sexual freedom with legs spread, while Jack enjoys the greatest unobligated pleasures. Jack keeps promoting endless sex by endorsing political propaganda, media culture, and masculine habits of dealing with conquered females as disposables. Women fall for it, and men and women become enemies pretty much as planned by radical feminists and political revolutionaries more than half a century ago.

Women destroy their superior ability by favoring male dominance. They lower themselves to the level of men for the pleasure of sex and thereby lift responsibility from men to help care for their offspring. Men will keep forever the lid on that jar of life.

Only the crossing of female legs outside of marriage can restore a woman-governed society as once existed in America. Only marriage-obligated sex can recover manly respect of females, enable femininity to overpower feminist thought, enable men to appreciate ruling the marriage and family while wife runs both, and make it happen by utilizing the natural superiority of the female sex.

We are all born to get our way with others, which means that competition is the lifeblood of human interaction. Calm and peaceful competition depends on mutual respect, each gender for the other. Those days are long past; single men have virtually no respect for females, as evidenced by both the habits and growing popularity of players. Other men may have some respect left. Of course, if men are blamed, they claim that women are respected, but it’s a dumbed-down version caused by women not standing up for themselves.

Men get their way by out-competing other men, but they rely on the threat of—men have little else—physicality to dominate females. Women get their way by competing with women. They are well-born to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. But they are highly restricted, if they don’t use their physicality of crossed legs to capture and win sincere obligations by one man who chooses her as his.

Women have sexual assets that men will pay to access. If men don’t have to pay much, they can orbit through and around the female neighborhood satisfying manly urges with freedom. Hit and miss but never left out in the cold of female disapproval for not trying hard enough, for not meeting female values, standards, and expectations.

Unattractive women have less hope of capturing a man; their female sisters keep most of the men occupied and satisfied. With sex on his mind all the time, such as with players, only attractive dolls fit the bill. Gals with more than sex to offer don’t come into view, aren’t noticed, and are not observed long enough for their qualities to be admired, virtues uncovered, and for men to learn that sex isn’t everything.

Women are superior except when they forego or forget their strengths in order to have temporary boyfriend, husband, lover, ex, or just be popular. It enables men to exploit their dominance without competition. Women no longer get their way, unless its by endorsing the man’s game of sexual freedom.


*I count a sub-generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often boys and girls separate themselves from the previous generation with their choices in toys, music, apparel, habits, taste, chit-chat, preference to associate with peers, and adolescent openness with their unique personal bias. As adults, each sub-generation has its own hard-to-distinguish identity, but the latest is deeper into Feminism than previous ones.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, old school, sex differences, The mind

2667. Predicting and Making Marital Success

This post disagrees with popular opinion about the worthiness of men. So be it. In the vernacular, marriages fail because conventional wisdom sucks.

Husbands are born to rule their marriage, but wives are born to run it. If the wife doesn’t run it and the husband at least appear to rule it, marital success doesn’t follow. She runs their marriage by getting her way in every way practicable and not dissatisfying way to him.

A ruler isn’t supposed to work except on his personal matters. Everyone else keeps the king satisfied. That’s all he needs, satisfaction with himself. So, the less involved he is, the easier to keep him satisfied with himself and those around him. Satisfied people stay in place; it generates stability.

And that’s where this article comes in. When the obligated member of the superior sex exploits her advantages without dissatisfying the obligated member of the dominant sex, the superior member gets her way more and more and oftener and oftener.

A husband’s satisfaction is the greatest determinant and measure of marital success. Men can live with far less than women expect. He gets his way when he wants it, and his sense of self-satisfaction determines when he gets enough. Worse for her, the greatest evidence is that she perceives his taking her for granted.

Here’s a way to measure the present-day condition of a marriage to determine how likely it will lead to marital success, defined as not perfect, perhaps not good, but the couple is unlikely to separate. IOW, these are the essentials that motivates a man to stay with his woman. A satisfied man doesn’t look for more to do inside her domain, so she reaps the reward of getting more of her way.

The following is a model to show men and women motivated by their natures. It excludes lessons learned in life by both sexes and, therefore, does not predict how individuals react in life.

  1. Husband is satisfied with himself in his current life. His life is programmed around achieving and maintaining that condition.
  2. Therefore, he made a wise move to quit living by himself and take up living with her. IOW, he’s satisfied with his marriage.
  3. He’s satisfied with wife filling her various roles in life: mate, woman, lover, housekeeper, mother, friend, et al. His respect and devotion to her and her likeability and loyalty are good enough to keep her.
  4. He is satisfied living with her, although if he tried he might find faults or shortcomings. But what the heck, why look. It’s good enough as is.

It works bottom to top. She generates the conditions that produce 3 and 4 from which he concludes 1 and 2. At any step, continuing and disruptive dissatisfaction could lead to his departure.

It makes wife’s job so easy. She only has to keep him satisfied with who she is and what she does. How could it be more simple to keep her husband? She has every ability to detect when he’s dissatisfied or unsatisfied with something and to fix it or alleviate the pressure. She may always want to fix it a certain way, but she can’t plead ignorance or innocence. Her relationship expertise qualifies her as sufficient.

Wives are not accustomed or happy working at the level of satisfaction. Their nature differs. They expect to do better. When they feel satisfied, there’s something else to do. They look elsewhere. They want to do more. Modern women to their everlasting discredit, expect to make their husband as satisfied as wife, but she’s never satisfied. Always more to do, improvements to make, worries to assuage—and he won’t get off his…. (Unfortunately, grudging is the seed for more faults, complaints, and endless bickering to get him doing something she wants or expects).

She gets to use the quiet female version of out-competing him as both husband and man. She gets her way more often. The proper wife gets her way in areas about which he senses no responsibility or doesn’t care how she does it. For example, the domestic scene.

Hence, by satisfying herself by getting her way more and more often, she need only keep an eye on him that he’s satisfied. She can dominate the marriage, because she gets to do what she wants to do. She gets her way as long as he is satisfied with himself.

Q. It makes one wonder; how come so many marriages fail?

A. Wives just have to do, say, and expect things about which husband doesn’t care to be involved. Wives don’t aim to keep his sense of satisfaction intact with himself as their measuring stick. They expect more; an apparent satisfied husband is not doing enough.

These things particularly disturb a man’s self-satisfaction:

  • She complains about things, which he translates to mean he’s not okay because he doesn’t fix those things. Is he guilty? To blame? She’s not okay so it must be his fault.
  • She complains or suggests that he’s at fault. Not again! What now? Guilty? Blame? She’s probably disguising something other than what she’s talking about? Should he have seen it first? He was that way when they married, why now? What’s really bugging her?
  • She alibis for herself by explaining herself. Why tell him? She can fix it or already has.
  • She complains about others as if he can do something. It’s her tone and manner that irritates and disturbs his sense of satisfaction with her.

Modern marriage can’t exist without wife explaining and complaining to her man; it relieves self-induced pressure. But wives should teach themselves how it disturbs their man’s sense of satisfaction. She can quickly learn what is tolerable and what is not.

This is the farthest from how modern women think and operate. Her smiles tell her man that he’s okay, and lack of complaints means that she’s okay. To a husband, okay means the marriage is working okay; he’s satisfied. Her smiles mean that wife is at least happy with herself, which adds significantly to hubby feeling satisfied with self.

Finally, all wife has to do is to keep getting her way about matters that don’t DIRECTLY concern husband. Quit trying to get him involved in everything. She stays busy and runs the show while he finds satisfaction in HER efforts rather than HIS, which to him are not significant accomplishments.

Her reward is getting her way throughout her life, except in his domain that includes his job, car, hobby, and other things for which he feels DIRECTLY responsible. As ruler, he’s INDIRECTLY responsible for everything else, and he can turn it over for her to manage. The more satisfied with her and her management, the more he lets her get her way.

The modern wife’s mindset is programmed that she is responsible for the marriage, but she does much better when she isolates one part to be her responsibility, namely the domestic domain. Not his manly domain of job and other things for which he feels DIRECTLY responsible.


Filed under Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2665. Refresher Thoughts — 04

  1. Criticism doesn’t lift its finger to help. Self-criticism lifts a finger, but it holds a knife dulled by too much use.
  2. Gratitude lifts its finger to help. Self-gratitude lifts the whole hand.
  3. When its customary for women to be overweight, underweight becomes rare, which means trophy to hunter-conquerors.
  4. Men don’t give up their independence for marriage. They give up the appearance of it. Husbands remain determined to satisfy themselves with their lives. She’s expected to take care of things for which he better be noticeably proud, grateful, and crown her as highly important.
  5. Women think because men eat heavy, it’s all right for women, who forget that men feast with their eyes and hunter-conquerors seek the most attractive targets.
  6. Men figure they are easy to love. By appreciating, respecting, admiring, and satisfying themselves, they make themselves worthy of a woman’s love.
  7. Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. If women require little, they get many candidates of little worth. They make a man’s life too easy and leave him unchallenged. OTOH, fruitless striving to get her into bed frustrates him into investing more of himself, which results in his becoming worthy of her.
  8. A woman’s love develops quickly when it matches her hopes and dreams for life with a man. When she looks for Mr. Right, however, she short-circuits her instinctive and intuitive decision-making system.
  9. Relationship harmony flows more out of mutual respect and likeability than as the result of love. IOW, love is never enough in spite of how women expect otherwise—both hopelessly and habitually.
  10. Wives wonder if husband is proud of her. Here’s the answer. Married hunter-conquers, their weapons neutralized by love of wife, nevertheless desire competitor buddies to be envious of past conquests. The more femininely rare the wife appears, the more envy it stirs, and conquerors love it.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she loses, marriage

2664. Refresher Thoughts — 03

  1. You can love a person a lot and not be comfortable living with them, or even feel the bonds are breaking. Examples: a) Sex does not bond a man and even great sex can become routine or even tiresome to a woman after romantic love fades a year or two after marriage. b) When living together, likeability—the appeal and desire for the presence of the other—outweighs love as a permanent connector.
  2. Think of marriage as three interlocking domains of different sizes with these labels: Hers, his, and theirs. The label indicates who’s personally responsible for being successful to the satisfaction and admiration of their mate. (Dividing up and accepting the responsibilities is a major function of good courtship.)
  3. Men forget more easily than forgive a woman’s mistakes. Women more easily forgive than forget a man’s weaknesses.
  4. Men are producers and oriented toward producing results. Women are processors and oriented toward developing relationships. Processors usually need help from someone to produce results that support their ambitions. Men seldom need help.
  5. A man’s ambitions arise out of his need for self-admiration. The admiration of others impresses him less than his own. A woman’s ambitions arise out of her need to feel important, and feedback reinforces it.
  6. What we don’t believe about ourselves, we can’t share with others. People respect or love others no more than their self-respect or self-love.
  7. The sexes differ again. Females think unearned gifts are their due. Males don’t appreciate them. The female nature causes women to display their love too soon or offer conquest before a man has earned the privilege.
  8. Women are born with plenty self-love but they lack self-respect. They have to earn it before they can respect others, and they do it best by acting as if they are highly respected. Two customs work best when she gets her way: 1) She upholds the best method by which men and women associate romantically, namely dates and courtships. 2) She shows great but quiet determination and spunk to deny access to her sexual assets. (If women don’t have standards, men run all over them.)
  9. A man’s love is based on unconditional respect for the female gender and conditional respect for one of its members. (In today’s social marketplace, the former is sadly lacking. Women pay a huge price at the hands of men who show more disrespect than respect, who promote masculinity at the expense of femininity.)
  10. Women are the relationship experts, and men don’t get involved with relationship management. (Push men into trying it and they suffer loss of self-respect and her likeability plummets. Why? Men don’t know what’s wrong or the cause. They are either in or not in a relationship. Not to blame, it’s their nature.)


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

2663. Refresher Thoughts — 02

  1. Few things reverse a woman’s attitude more quickly than her man saying, Honey, I was wrong!
  2. Few thing reverse a man’s attitude more easily than his woman saying, Honey, you are right.
  3. The more likeable she becomes to him, the more likeable he becomes to her. True!
  4. The more likeable he becomes to her, the more likeable she becomes to him. Not true!
  5. Recovery is everything, because everything is related to this: We all make mistakes frequently. The variables available to use to make a recovery are more important than the excuse someone has for stumbling mentally.
  6. Marital success depends upon her micromanaging the core of a marriage to get her way in her domain, and NOT intruding unwanted in the periphery, his domain.
  7. It’s life’s greatest challenge. He feels responsible for marital success because he doesn’t tackle something with intent to fail. But she runs the show because she has all the ability and expertise to generate their success together. For him to succeed well, he has to bow to her and her wisdom; he doesn’t have enough.
  8. Wise husbands enable themselves to rule the roost in title and practice, while they gently, quietly, and in background encourage their wives to govern and coach the rooster into eventually getting her way. (It’s an art that women possess from birth, except it may fail her if she doesn’t team with a man who finds her totally likeable.)
  9. Men follow women they like except when the female makes three mistakes. Women give away their ultimate bargaining power, premarital sex, which costs her too much of his respect. Women continually complain and blame a man’s shortcomings. Wives try to compete with their husbands, which reduces her likeability and eventually her acceptability.
  10. A man NEEDS only one thing—a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare to fight his battles tomorrow. A woman NEEDS a brighter future, which can be a lot of things into which a man’s interest can be woven by her.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences

2662. Refresher Thoughts — 01

We could not survive if we had no generalities by which to guide ourselves. These apply most of the time. They’re good enough to rely on until reality shows you otherwise.

  1. Parents should neither complain nor explain themselves to their children. When they do, they weaken their authority, figurehead status, ability to judge without dispute, and invite kids to be competitors.
  2. Children see disdain or criticism of one parent for the other, and they learn to play one against the other. It’s the nature of children to do whatever is required to get their way.
  3. Society’s popularity of sloppy apparel, careless appearance, and obesity by girls and women significantly reduces the desire and intention of men to remain close to one woman and fosters the manly spreading of seed.
  4. The popularity of unmarried sex squelches the benefits of marriage. For men, multiple conquests are preferable to the familiar.
  5. Relationship success depends more on the absence of negative stimuli for the man than the presence of positive influences for the woman.
  6. Devotion means he uncovers his hidden agendas to her. Commitment means his agendas remain hidden. (Good example of devotion in My All American at Netflix.)
  7. Late night TV too easily induces thoughts, wishes, and dreams about replacing one’s mate with someone who appears better. Sex and sleep without TV work better to solidify a relationship.
  8. If she’s easy to respect, she’s easy for a man to love. If she’s easy with sex, she’s difficult to respect.
  9. Relying on your heart exclusively will lead you to what you don’t want, because today’s heart isn’t prepared for tomorrow’s realities.
  10. Mutual respect and likeability are the most important ingredients of enduring love.

More follows next.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences