Category Archives: old school

2803. Tenth Anniversary and Happy Thanksgiving


Today marks the tenth anniversary of this blog plus a time to celebrate all for which we are grateful.

I thank all of you who regularly read here. Also, gratitude continues to accumulate in batches of various sizes for all those ladies and gentlemen who react, respond, and even question me where clarity is lacking or objection exists. Your questions fuel my thoughts and satisfy me with myself. Thanks particularly for that.

I wish everyone a great day of finding new ways for appreciating the gratitude in your life. It’s also a day of Thanksgiving in the American custom, and I wish all a happy experience.

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, old school, Sociology 101

2778. Well-liked Article (#33 posted in January 2008)


Men are not naturally romantic. Except when forced to honor females with manly spell-binding joy, romance to males means foreplay or prelude to it. If not ‘trained’ to habitually romance her before marriage, he won’t do it afterward and will probably be short on intimacy after sex.

Boys first learn romance by watching father affectionately romance mother without sexual implications. Later, they learn from girls who inspire manly romance by withholding foreplay and from women by withholding sex.

Women expect men to be more romantic, but romance slows a man’s urge to merge. He expects to romance a woman to the extent that she requires for him to initiate foreplay or sex.

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Filed under courtship, feminine, marriage, old school, Uncategorized

2777. Well-liked Article (#23 posted in 2007)


Femininity, once a source of power and eliteness for females, has been made an object of scorn and ridicule by feminists. Women no longer appreciate that femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world, as one woman explains to Alison Armstrong in her book, Keys to the Kingdom.

Feminists consider men as undeserving of special attention and care. Yet, they eagerly provide what makes men highly appreciative—that is, frequent, convenient, inexpensive, and unobligated sex. That contradiction works directly against women looking for the Marrying Man and seeking marital success.

Feminism demeans the male nature in order to promote the status and political power of females. Femininity appreciates the male nature, applauds manliness, and empowers men to provide relationship stability, safety, and security.

Feminism focuses on making men unnecessary and dispensable in order to uplift females in legal, political, and economic circles and social and domestic stature. Femininity focuses on the high value and indispensability of men in order to uplift women and children above the depredations of extreme male aggression—and in today’s environment—the threat of child molesters.

Feminism rejects as undeserving both castle-building and hut maintenance for a man. Femininity kisses frogs, treats princes as royalty, and specializes on lavishing warmth and affection on everyone in the king’s castle.

Feminism politically empowers females to act like roosters and emulate the man of the house. Femininity endows females with the self-worth, self-image, and self-confidence to rule their rooster by letting him appear to rule the roost.

Feminism produces an attitude of ingratitude for manly behavior that pushes men away—except for their relentless pursuit of sex. Femininity produces an attitude of gratitude that attracts men and uses each female’s personal assets and appealing attractions to hold a man.

Feminism elevates sex above marriage, encourages eroticism, accepts promiscuity, stimulates pornography, allows sexual activity among children, and fails to discourage such things when opened for public discussion. Femininity subordinates sex to marriage, rejects eroticism out of modesty, disdains promiscuity as alien to relationship success, educates against porn as destructive to kids and family, protects children from adult sexual license, and promotes civilized behavior as keeping sex confined to the marital bed.

Feminism discourages women from chastising men who exploit their masculine advantages. Feminists expect to change the male nature to reduce male strengths. Femininity capitalizes on male strengths, compensates for weaknesses of both sexes, and eagerly helps build and maintain a man’s castle, since women are made potentially compatible with men by their drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones.

Feminism relies on and promotes the masculine games of might-makes-right, rule of man, and winning is more important than how one plays. Femininity relies on and promotes the females’ instinctive preference for right-makes-might, rule of law, and how one plays the female friendly game.

Feminism discourages male adoration in spite of a lot of female wishful thinking. Femininity inspires male adoration with little effort, because of female reliance on letting nature take its course in spite of feminist politics.

Feminism produces principles and ideology that divide the sexes as feminists try to conquer the political agenda. Femininity uses principles and ideology that unite and unify couples into stable and long-lasting families.

Feminism insists that women have the same capability as men for producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving. Femininity supplies glory and high values that energize the unique ability of men as wartime defenders, peacetime providers, anytime protectors of women and children, and reliable solver of family problems.

Feminism reverses the best interest of females by restructuring social values that enable men to dominate more successfully. The traditional family is not essential. Men are not essential to female happiness. To show female independence, women are pushed to compete directly with their man, which men refuse to accept. Mothers are not responsible to civilize boys; someone else should do that even though modern boys are becoming more violent, disrespectful of authority, and take greater advantage of young girls. Femininity endorses and promotes the opposite.

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Filed under boobs, Culture & Politics, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, old school, Sociology 101

2758. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 09 Their Lenses Differ


Spouses view the future through different lenses.

He anticipates consequences and weighs them against how alterations necessary to his life will likely keep him satisfied with himself. Example: His car is wearing out. Nurse it a while longer? New car? Used one? Upsize it? Downsize it? Save on operating costs? Dip into savings? After balancing those inter-connections and -dependencies, he makes a decision that keeps him satisfied with himself that may or may not please his wife. If he is pushed to decide or disagreement ensues, he senses greater pressure to do it his way.

OTOH, she plans improvements, manages spousal interests, and anticipates consequences so that she, they, or their children gain some advantage. His car-buying plan becomes part of the new future she anticipates. If she can, she prefers to do it her way, more closely follow her own plans, and will usually argue even furiously to get her way.

If she can’t get her way but is convinced she’s right, she tries harder, learns to resent his resistance, or —if she’s smart enough—solicits his collaboration to work together. Example: Her car is wearing out. She long ago planted a seed with husband as to her preference; whether to drive a new one, a particular model, or to take cost consciousness to a new level to help promote other plans for their future together. Her sense of cooperation drives their decisions into collaboration and easier agreement for both sides. (It’s not in his nature to initiate cooperation or collaboration; it’s mostly up to her.)

In both cases, each spouse begins simple decision-making thoughts about the first to ID the issue being first with the solution. It’s normal, natural, and far too easily the beginning of competition and dispute resolution through argument to see who gets their way.

Because they view through different lenses, neither spouse is validated as being right and thereby the best decision maker. However, different lenses promote female adroitness, more cooperation, and more often end with collaboration, aka both sides pleased with the results.

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Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, old school, The mind

2753. Essentials of Successful Marriage — 05 Are You Compatible?


For the sake of clarity, I define complex matters in the simplest form. In the case of pursuing marital success—aka they never separate—the need for compatibility seems paramount. It brings to mind the lament of an old school wife: Glory be and golly gee! If its to be, it’s up to me.

Once joined in matrimony, compatibility means to go beyond love to sustain a couple’s mutual likeability, friendliness, and congeniality. Mutual love gets them started well, but it doesn’t last. Managing compatibility is easiest done by eliminating relationship toxins: by preventing the accumulation of irritants, accusations, criticism, blame, denying one’s responsibility, and other negative influences.

A couple’s compatibility requires management. Love isn’t enough for two reasons. Men love less reliably than women and even her romantic love fades in a year or two. After that, a more enduring love is essential to prevent separation. It puts the responsibility on the wife. A husband only knows how to ride along innocently; he automatically figures he is compatible or he would be somewhere else.*

Moreover, she has all the management ability. So, what does compatibility look like?

  • Sensory compatibility: It’s rooted in her immense ability to love deeply, she knows intuitively they are compatible. How can it be otherwise than right now? They are so in love. Consequently, the temporary nature of it goes unrecognized until it fades with romantic love in a year or two.
  • Mature compatibility: It’s rooted in a woman’s determination to ensure that she keeps her relationship together, and the wise wife begins immediately after the honeymoon. She can’t anticipate the frustrations and problems that lay ahead, but she can begin to strengthen their ability to live more closely and longer together.

Both sexes are born to be compatible with a mate, but its left up to couples. Wife, being the relationship manager, inherits the burden to see that husband doesn’t operate at the fringe of their compatibility. She holds him closer with tactics that satisfy him more than they satisfy her. Yes, her spirit of compatibility needs to be contagious. His sense of compatibility is weak until she patiently over time inspires them both to be more mutually likeable, friendly, and congenial. Make them closer together without demanding it of husband.

It’s not her love or their love that holds them together. Marital success requires more. Particularly that which arises out of the absence of irritants, turn offs, criticism, blame, anger at one another, deep arguments, fights, and other negative influences and accusations.

Sex likenesses do not breed success in a couple. Likenesses stir competition at which wives inevitably lose. Sex differences seal them together much better, because husbands can respect women who are different, unique, mysterious, and femininely attractive.

If she’s not fully understandable, he can mumble under his breath that she’s just a woman and move on without comment. It’s a husband’s favorite hobby; it relieves pressure to say the wrong thing, and he feels good about helping to keep peace with her.

More importantly in modern times, success requires the absence of wives acting like men. Many wives envy and expect to enjoy the perquisites and privileges that husbands think are their due. Wives can’t act like a husband and expect to keep the husband they have. It nurtures competition at which she inevitably loses to him. The virtuous woman that men seek to marry are highlighted by being uniquely different from men; wives do best when they remain that way.

In short, compatibility is marvelous when husband continues to pursue wife’s presence and close association within marriage. Likeable, friendly, and congenial, all of it underwritten by her love that signals her allegiance and loyalty to him. Her satisfactions come from his actions that signify her importance in both his life and her governance of their marital arrangement.

Women need or want a mate, men don’t need one but may want one. Energized by female love, women jump right in and work at it, but men drift along with whatever a woman offers in the way of mating that satisfies their man. Her compatibility management holds them together.

If she does it right, he accepts their life together as friendly and congenial habit, and he’s more easily satisfied to live with her for life.

——

*Heads up, ladies. In premarital screening, be sure to uncover each man’s habit of tossing relationship toxins into your relationship. Red flags should fly if a man is easily inclined to fault or criticize you, deny his responsibility for some things, or otherwise inflict your premarital relationship with negative inputs. It takes very little of that to poison marital compatibility after he’s unrestrained by winning you in marriage.

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Filed under boobs, courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, old school, sex differences

2751. The Incompetent Patient


For the last six days medical experts worked conscientiously to keep ahead of me and my aged habits while in their custody. I continue the mentally aging reversal into my childhood, and I’m determined it will be more fun than embarrassment and discouragement. It’s an amazing journey for me, but I have to raise all the fun.

So, that’s the story line. This is my report to blog readers amid reflections of my gratitude to the medical professionals at Memorial Hospital in Charleston, West Virginia.

I learned so much; mostly all new to me.

  1. As a doctor pushes a tube into my lung cavity a few inches from left nipple, the pain on a 1-10 scale temporarily but repeatedly rings the 15 bell. He used only a local anesthetic but local compensation helps. I’m surrounded by a gaggle of pretty nurses whose smiling faces cushion every pain until it subsides. It’s amazing that women don’t recognize how their smiles tell a man that all is okay at her end, so he can relax. If all is okay with her, no blame attaches to him. (Wives take notice.) Conclusion: A pretty smiling female face shrinks and shortens pain and helps convince one to relax and breathe in the nose and out the mouth.
  2. Living through my reversal into childhood, moans and verbal exclamations of pain help as they did when young. As a child, I didn’t know the impact my noises made; today I don’t care. However, then I recognize that guys don’t show weakness before gals, and that too attenuates my pain. As a child I wanted to complain; as an adult I hide my shame by reducing the moans and groans. Just the thoughts work to help hide the pain.

I’m so grateful for the smiling faces in the ER, especially the lady, Brandi, who convinced me ahead of time that it would be uncomfortable rather than painful. When I found out the difference, I couldn’t hold it against her; she was too pretty. I’m convinced that’s why God made all women pretty in their hearts. She can ease the pain of her man as needed (and as long as revenge doesn’t stir her heart).

  1. Next came the ICU and a new set of adventures. Five nights there and I made a disaster of the room three different times with three different nurses. All were men but I think it more coincidental than selective; I wouldn’t discriminate against them, but I probably would have been less adventurous and more circumspect if a gal had the duty with me that night. Seriously, better and more conscientious men I’ve not met for years. I couldn’t believe their calm demeanor recovering from my disturbances made while alone and flustered with urges to relieve urges upon urges upon what to do now. Who needs help with simple matters any man should handle for himself, such as don’t pee on the floor?

Three different nights. The men were Chuck, Nolen, and Ed. If I had a business of almost any kind and in need of professional conscientiousness, I’d try to hire them. Other noteworthy guys included Jason, Joey, Davon, and Chris.

Highly effectve at whatever they tackle or do. The gal nurses were also effective because of superior conscientiousness and, more later, good leadership. They included: Andrea, Lisa, Jessica, Jennifer, and Brianna.

  1. Next step was an overnight before checkout with more pretty faces to enjoy. Jenny, Sarah, Sally, Jessica, Carolina. I did not tear up the room either, just the bed and the floor. Conscientiousness and devotion to duty filled everyone of them, and I truly relished the enjoyment they brought me.
  2. I say enjoyment they all brought me. For decades I’ve been a student and teacher of leadership and management. I look for how an organization functions and assess its leadership. The attitude, morale, and conscientious functioning of the nurses at Memorial are the result of good or better leadership that spreads like an encouraging epidemic of good will and intent, which are precursors of good care. IOW, everyone works together so well their individual worth shoots skyward, which represents how I was treated for six days.

Individuals shine because they have a good place and way to show off their abilities—and, I have to add, their professional personalities, which I use to measure competence and effectiveness.

In the room I was incompetent and generated more work for the nurses. I’m grateful they were able to restore me—with every sign of forgiveness—to competence for my expected life at home. What a great batch of representatives of their profession.

For blog readers, I developed these thoughts to inject into blog material.

  • Silence in the face of a man’s accomplishments is the bedfellow of disrespect.
  • Silence in the face of a woman’s intentions and efforts rings as lack of her importance.

Finally, I struck both relationship gold and new blog material when I turned into Charleston Memorial Hospital.

Guy

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Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, old school, Sociology 101, The mind

2743. Sexual Relations and the Male Mind


Not surprisingly, sexual relations affects a man’s mind very differently from the minds of women. We shall look at vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, and irregular forms as their effects apply to couples living together. (Players and singles are motivated by other interests, and so the following may or may not apply.)

For simplicity, allow me to reduce vaginal intercourse to two kinds as viewed by the female mind. Lovemaking at its most and least satisfying for women.

Most Satisfying. Vaginal intercourse preceded by enough foreplay and followed by intimate afterplay make a love object of a man’s woman, as she recognizes it. If done effectively to meet her expectations, she longs for more. It confirms her importance as mate and gratitude as love object—‘I’m still attractive and he loves me’.

Springing automatically from each urge to merge with his mate, a loving and knowledgeable man demonstrates his devotion, respect, and her worth. Life with her and satisfaction with himself combine to motivate him to do well. He seeks to please her for the sake of satisfying himself that she deserves his best effort doing what he promised her, his love. As his loyal and exclusive love interest, her naked presence energizes him to exploit his responsibility, do his duty and do it well. He recognizes that she alone is qualified to asses his performance. His actions confirm her importance to him, and she admires him for demonstrating it.

So long, that is, as her feedback in no way questions his techniques, competence, or results. Given negative feedback on such sensitive subjects, a man loses interest in his mate and seeks satisfaction elsewhere. If she doesn’t inspire him with her satisfaction, his lovemaking efforts diminish with loss of self-respect and her loyalty to him alone becomes suspect.

The more time he devotes to each event, especially post-coital holding, the more likely he gets better and she appreciates his prowess. His likeability in her eyes for gently playing with her body energizes him to spend more time at it. The more sincerely enjoyable to her, the greater his inspiration to keep her that way. Any lack of her enjoyment drives a man to take short cuts, be more efficient and usually leads to less foreplay, afterplay, and intimate holding.

For the same unselfish reasons, a man performs cunnilingus and reinforces in her mind that he treasures her. His giving of himself out of respect and love to please her is the direct opposite of her giving fellatio, shown below.

Least Satisfying. Not all men are in relationships that inspire and motivate such extensive and satisfying lovemaking. Not all women know how to cultivate that mindset in themselves and their mate. So, let’s ignore any shortened versions of lovemaking and presume vaginal intercourse alone as the only other option that prevails between mates.

For the woman, the least satisfying vaginal intercourse comes when the man pleases himself with little or no regard for pleasing her. Foreplay, afterplay, and intimacy are weak or missing. His duty is to himself and he selfishly fulfills it. Poke, come, and go! If she’s pleasured too, it’s a bonus. The effect on the male mind confirms that she’s useful but not necessary to keep around.

OTOH, the attractions that keep a couple together are enshrouded in the connections, comforts, pleasantries, and compatible practices embedded in the most satisfying version of vaginal intercourse above.

Fellatio and irregular forms of sexual relations reduce women to under appreciated sex objects. Many men come to prefer the symbol of their dominance to providing satisfying vaginal intercourse. That is, fellatio outranks intercourse in the hearts of some men, especially the control-types.

Women victimized by fellatio and irregular forms yearn for but can find little or no manly respect. They become subjects of selfishly inspired male dominance; fellatio confirms a man’s worth as dominator. It is the ultimate confirmation that she’s dominated in matters of importance to her man. Trying to get her way with him, she finds that her ideas and suggestions have less merit than before she gave fellatio.

In law, penetration is sufficient to prove rape. In relationships, penetration of mouth is sufficient to prove dominance. In dominance, those looked down on and made submissive are not respected very highly. Those dominated in marriage face this. Imbalance in mutual respect leads to incompatibility, which leads to a dissatisfied wife and a man made more prone to infidelity.

The minds of both sexes are impacted and shaped by sexual relations. The most satisfying vaginal intercourse satisfies women. The least satisfying for women mostly affects the male ego. Fellatio and other forms turn women into victims of male dominance. Not so much what women do as to the effect it has on the male mind; that of not respecting those they dominate. And a man’s love is first founded on respect, or his love doesn’t develop fully.

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Filed under Dear daughter, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, old school, The mind