Category Archives: old school

2668. Superior vs. Dominant Gender — 01


I sense a rant coming on. When sex is everything, no room exists for recovery. Example, what does relationship recovery look like for women today? We are six or seven sub-generations* deep into Feminism. Is it paying off for women in their relationships with men?

Modern women don’t know jack about Jack and not enough about Jill. The sexes are born very different, yet cultural and political trending add constant pressure for them to be more alike. Unisex is no longer a popular term, but the pressure to achieve it is certainly common. (Toilets according to personal preference?)

Women routinely let a man’s sexual pleasure—and perhaps some claimed by her—to substitute for what they can no longer get reliably out of one man. Examples: brighter future for her, permanent relationship, mutual respect, mutual love, likeability based on persona rather than sexual compatibility, sexual fidelity, his duty to stay following a surprise pregnancy, fulfilled moral obligations, dependence on him, two-parent home, fathering their children, he provides and protects, family leadership, lifetime marriage. Oh, she might get a few of those, but her nature craves all of those benefits to be available with one man in her life.

Women can’t get what they want out of players and modern men, unless they agree that sex is everything or at least enough. Men don’t have much more to offer, because they don’t have too. Women are too liberal with their expectations about men. They can’t get their way except temporarily by yielding, can’t get what they expect to get except as they play the man’s game of cheap and easy sex. They rationalize that it’s enough in order to have their own man or avoid being dumped. They also swallow their pride, self-respect, and ability to negotiate for a better life for her and her kids.

Women themselves destroy the worth of their natural superiority at virtually no cost to men. No negotiations about obligations; just give aways that enable men to always win in the present but women lose for their future. Men by nature manage the present but ignore the future; they can handle whatever comes, which in itself—if not influenced by a well-loved woman—is enough to ruin a woman’s future.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with other people. Jill straddles the wave of sexual freedom with legs spread, while Jack enjoys the greatest unobligated pleasures. Jack keeps promoting endless sex by endorsing political propaganda, media culture, and masculine habits of dealing with conquered females as disposables. Women fall for it, and men and women become enemies pretty much as planned by radical feminists and political revolutionaries more than half a century ago.

Women destroy their superior ability by favoring male dominance. They lower themselves to the level of men for the pleasure of sex and thereby lift responsibility from men to help care for their offspring. Men will keep forever the lid on that jar of life.

Only the crossing of female legs outside of marriage can restore a woman-governed society as once existed in America. Only marriage-obligated sex can recover manly respect of females, enable femininity to overpower feminist thought, enable men to appreciate ruling the marriage and family while wife runs both, and make it happen by utilizing the natural superiority of the female sex.

We are all born to get our way with others, which means that competition is the lifeblood of human interaction. Calm and peaceful competition depends on mutual respect, each gender for the other. Those days are long past; single men have virtually no respect for females, as evidenced by both the habits and growing popularity of players. Other men may have some respect left. Of course, if men are blamed, they claim that women are respected, but it’s a dumbed-down version caused by women not standing up for themselves.

Men get their way by out-competing other men, but they rely on the threat of—men have little else—physicality to dominate females. Women get their way by competing with women. They are well-born to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. But they are highly restricted, if they don’t use their physicality of crossed legs to capture and win sincere obligations by one man who chooses her as his.

Women have sexual assets that men will pay to access. If men don’t have to pay much, they can orbit through and around the female neighborhood satisfying manly urges with freedom. Hit and miss but never left out in the cold of female disapproval for not trying hard enough, for not meeting female values, standards, and expectations.

Unattractive women have less hope of capturing a man; their female sisters keep most of the men occupied and satisfied. With sex on his mind all the time, such as with players, only attractive dolls fit the bill. Gals with more than sex to offer don’t come into view, aren’t noticed, and are not observed long enough for their qualities to be admired, virtues uncovered, and for men to learn that sex isn’t everything.

Women are superior except when they forego or forget their strengths in order to have temporary boyfriend, husband, lover, ex, or just be popular. It enables men to exploit their dominance without competition. Women no longer get their way, unless its by endorsing the man’s game of sexual freedom.

——

*I count a sub-generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often boys and girls separate themselves from the previous generation with their choices in toys, music, apparel, habits, taste, chit-chat, preference to associate with peers, and adolescent openness with their unique personal bias. As adults, each sub-generation has its own hard-to-distinguish identity, but the latest is deeper into Feminism than previous ones.

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Filed under boobs, courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, old school, sex differences, The mind

2645. Strategy for Courtship — 01: Introduction


Dating and courtship can be defined and described many ways. The battle of the sexes revolves around both sexes being born to get their way with the other. I write about the version that empowers and enables girls and women to get their way and make guys appreciate the feminine way.

This is the major battle. Whoever gets their way—the guy to achieve conquest without future obligation, or the gal to achieve marriage without yielding—wins. When the guy wins, the gal may or may not win depending on his decision before conquest. She can end up as keeper, booty, or disposable.

I write about courtship without sharing sex. If you find no interest in dating and courting that way, you may still uncover in what follows some insight into why gals should not relinquish courtship governance to guys. Example: Feminine qualities are admired by men as virtues. Her greatest virtue is possession without use of sexual assets. The more and better she withholds them, the more and better a man respects and admires her. A man’s love is founded on respect of a woman, and so keeping her legs crossed earns a guy’s respect, admiration, and whatever love he develops associating with her. With legs crossed, women can get their way. With legs apart, guys don’t bond as women expect, and gals lose their courtship supremacy.

Men are motivated two ways. When they can’t conquer a gal, they can get serious and even dedicate themselves to chasing her until she yields. The longer he pursues her, the more he invests himself with actions that program his heart in her favor, and men don’t easily walk away from lengthy investments.

When gals yield the first time, that guy is free to chase others. It’s not her or her fault, it’s his nature to conquer every attractive female that will have him.

A woman is best served by this courtship strategy: He chases and wins her without access to her sexual assets until they marry. It may not always play out that way, given the pressures of passion and pleasures of sex. The longer it plays out that way, however, the greater his investment of himself in her interests. By far, it’s the superior strategy by which the superior gender can handle the dominant gender and promote the female’s  self-interest.

Why is that? Because a man changes dramatically as the result of conquest. It’s not her fault but his two sex-drive nature. All she did was yield out of love, wish to satisfy him, and hope he would bond. He doesn’t bond, he admires and satisfies himself with accomplishment, and her risk skyrockets of doing without him.

Hardwired this way from birth, conquest releases him from chasing her, and he becomes free to chase another. He may dispose of her as inadequate for him. Or, he might choose to stay with her, if she has earned enough of his respect and interest for proceeding together as either booty or for long-range mating.

While not a popular strategy today, the one I propose above flooded the social marketplace back in the day when most men sought to marry and settle down with a good woman. We can’t turn back the clock, but the foundation of men seeking to marry a good woman is founded on the respect a woman earns by possessing a great virtue and withholding it until a man invests himself sufficiently to step up and meet her expectations.

If a woman can’t learn to get her way in courtship, she’s short of what it takes to get her way in marriage, where men want little to do with managing the domestic side of living together.

While not nearly as impressive as crossed legs for shaping manly attitudes, women are blessed with characteristics that generate attractive and feminine attitudes for men. It’s next.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, Jr., old school, sex differences, Sociology 101

Blog 2625 — Sociological Perspective


Blog 2625 — Sociological Perspective

Did you ever connect these dots? They span two thousand years!

  • Western civilization arose out of the New Testament on the legs of Christian love.
  • Western prosperity arose out of Christ’s teachings that love is the solution for hatred and the way toward a better life.
  • Men don’t need and even reject using love for decisions in their competitive world. Teachings of Western churches have never been very effective convincing men that love should flood the marketplace of masculinized business ideas.
  • Yet, Western prosperity developed and was sustained with men obviously in control.
  • Loaded with self-love at birth, women were enabled to spread love to others. When used solely to female advantage, love became an admired virtue and internal strength.
  • Armed with Christ’s legitimacy of love, women indirectly injected love into the workplace, and it enabled prosperity to morph toward female-friendly.
  • Both sexes are born to get their way with the other. Women learned to rely on indirect methods to get their way while facing male dominance.
  • Male dominance expanded with this remorseful slant, it’s dominance without respect for the dominated. Wives learned to do better.
  • Wives competing directly with husbands weakened love and its connections. Women learned to do better.
  • The directness and self-respect of girls and single women discouraged men getting their way and thereby earned more respect of women.
  • Female toughness, self-love, and the loving ability of women earned and defended self-respect and made male dominance tolerable to women and children.
  • Capitalizing on that above, women became more successful over the centuries.
  • By using discretion and risking disapproval and criticism, they convinced men that love and sex were not the same. She could love, would provide comfort and care, but only yield sex if a man married her.
  • Formal marriage became successful and families more bountiful, and so marriage became standard, expected, and institutional.
  • As prosperity improved home life, wives became more influential with husbands and their affairs. The inborn patience and indirectness of a wife’s loving spirit helped husbands morph workplace values and standards into an ever-increasing female-friendly society.
  • More influential wives enabled mothers to raise children to love one another, and who as adults added more love-based values into the workplace. Each generation built more pressure toward female-friendly prosperity.
  • Over the course of two millennia the role of women developed differently than happenings outside Western civilization. Women led men to greater comfort in  homes covered in love and wives wrapped in it, the married man found much more satisfaction with himself than when male dominance stomped on female-friendly domestic life.
  • Women finally and gradually broke onto the political scene with typical female courage to pursue what they need in order to get their way. In the present day, they get their way with everything but with man, boyfriend, or husband.
  • On the surface it appears women can have their way with a man, but they can’t capture or keep the one they want most. When she chooses to get her way indirectly and instead favors a man’s directness, she can find a man willing to spend his life with her.

Over two millennia, women groped, grappled, and fought in the background. They managed, however, to morph two male-dominant religions—Christianity and Judaism—into our female-dominant Judeo-Christian culture. They got off the sideline of society by conquering a man for marriage before he conquered her for sex. Love was her instrument of persuasion, being possessively cherished was her reward.

Women were thus empowered with love legitimized and made highly respected by Christ. Out of that endowment, women made themselves highly desirable, meaningful, useful, and worth more in the best interest of men.

Nowadays, women battle in the foreground to get their way with a man. The modern process, however, leaves men thinking that a woman’s love is neither desirable, meaningful, useful, nor in the best interest of a man. Too much else goes with it, and women are no longer in the winning position. They’ve dealt themselves a lousy hand.

 

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2597. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 8


Hank is still not home, and he yells at the steering wheel. “She’s a witch.” Then in lower tone, “How could she have known my plan before I start? It was a good plan. Conquer and take over. Steer the bus she thinks of as romance, and I now assert should be ‘let’s get under the covers’.”

He smiles as he recalls how she so ingeniously outwits him. It happened before, and always with her mellow charm that at the end makes him proud she can so delicately get her way.

The memory of that night stirs his admiration more than his ire. As he planned, they go to their favorite place for champagne and center their focus on the inner space of each other. They enjoy a short touch of romance with smiles, gentle touching, and he quietly mumble-sings a love ballad to her with many words missing. Just as he planned.

She marvels that he knows such an old melody. Then, with little notice, he becomes quiet and disengages his interest in her and the surroundings. Seemingly troubled, she inquires of his mindset.

“Titty on your mind?” His head spins, eyes flash as if angry, but then he smiles. “How did you know?” Her smile brightens, “It’s about time.”

She continues. “Honey, you’ve honored my desires about abstinence for many months. You’ve done it with lovable spirit and gentlemanly pleasantness. It has enabled our relationship to heat up and boil beautifully, while passion fades like steam rising from the bubbles.

“You have been great to keep passion under control, to not pressure me to give in, to respect my desire to be free of sexual pressures. I love you for it, darling, more than anyone else in my past. Few men could do what you’ve done. And so, I want to better define myself to you.

“You deserve what you are about to hear. You may run off, but that’s the price I must pay to be true to me first, you second, and us above all others.

“My life is no better than I make it for myself. You are an immense help, but you’re not inside me, at least not yet. Even if you were, it would weaken our mutual devotion, because it means I betray myself.

“My father raised me with this principle. I am what I accomplish, and not what I hope or intend. He gave me the push but no suggestions, and I graduated into the teen world with traditional girlhood hopes and dreams. The mistakes of my marriage convince me, it was the right goal before and the only way afterward.

“My hopes and dreams quite naturally centered on my knight on his white charger. If he will be that sterling for me, then I should be golden for him.

“Somewhere along the line, and no one had to tell me. Too young for girlhood hopes and dreams and I now know better, I concluded that virginal was golden. After my mistakes, I believe virtual virginity symbolizes golden in all the other matters of living with someone. In other words, I may be capable of sex, but I’m much more important and valuable as a mate well kept for it rather than because of it.

“I can’t let my feelings for my knight be bleached out by someone else. He won’t be all that sterling, and I won’t be all that golden, if I let it happen. A broken marriage taught me that.

“After my divorce, the dream returned. I merely had to figure what to call it, and I chose virtual virginity—meaning I abstain until rescued for keeps.

“My real life begins when I am swept into ‘keeperhood’ to perform as intended and for which I have prepared most of my life—mistakes aside. Consequently, I am undeserving of a good enough man, if I can’t do what I pledge to myself.

“You’re getting too close for me to lose, but my objective is not yet accomplished.

“You are becoming more likeable, well-armored, and sit tall enough in the saddle to qualify as the only knight at my round table. However, your armor doesn’t yet shine brightly enough. Your stallion appears hungry, his ribs show, and he needs a wash down.

“I would betray myself, if I told you how to shine armor and feed, wash, and put away your horse. If you don’t already know what you need to complete your life, you may not quality yet as my Mr. Good Enough.

“A touch of champagne, please. And would you sing to me again?”

 

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2596. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 7


Still driving home after proposing and taking Jenny home, he remembers their courtship. After many months and asleep at home, his life changes in one night. Just a normal nightmare, but the memory of it still rocks his comfort and ease about his life and future.

On an outing near a turbulent river and after a slight drizzle, he laughs as Jenny goofs around with a turtle atop a huge boulder near their picnic table. Suddenly, she slips and plunges into the torrent below. She doesn’t come up. Rushing toward her entry spot, he sees what happened clearly in a slow-motion, step-by-step flashback. She slips, feet and hips slide, head flies back to bang the rock; splash and submergence follow. The replay, worse than the event itself, redoubles his fear and magnifies his sense of possible loss.

He jumps in, fails to locate her, and exhausts his lungs before surfacing. Hopefully, he expects to find her swimming to shore, but he finds the same nothing he found inside the torrent. He is alone and downstream. No sign of her further down. Hopefully but fruitlessly he looks upstream. No Jenny. No one else nearby to help. Grabbing his head fearfully, he yells “Jennyyyyyyyy” as he breaks down, cries, and is swept further downstream amid anguish of what can he do now?

Flopping over quickly in bed, he realizes he just heard himself yell. It was real, and he moves to dry his eyes. Screw what the neighbors think they heard. Grabbing the phone, he calls her. She’s okay, but he pours out his remaining anxiety. Too sweaty to continue in bed, he showers again to drown the memory. Instead, it redirects his thoughts toward reality. What would he do had it been real? It prompts him to figure out some answers, for which he searches amid speculation and intermittent dozing for the next few hours.

Can I live without her? Can my life even be sane without her? Replaceable or irreplaceable? That is the question. But those are silly questions. Of course, I can live without her, even a sane life. But in every stretch of self-honesty, I would never choose that option. Surprising himself, he confesses; I strongly desire to live with her alone. Yes, to the exclusion of all others and my independence. Then chiding himself, where did that dreadful thought come from?

Can I sustain our relationship as is, or must I shift into dreadful mode and follow the golden princess to wherever marriage might take us? Can I do all she says we should do? Do I even want to? Will she accept and follow me and my ambitions? Of course, I don’t really know how she feels about marriage. She’s mysterious on the subject. Most women want it though; so how am I to know, unless I propose? Uh, oh! Not a good something to think about.

Can I accept withdrawing from life outside our relationship? Will I forego all other women? Give up my independence for making decisions? Those are tough calls, but…. Hardly pleasant thoughts, so I will think about them later.

But how can I live with her, if she won’t provide sex to check out our compatibility? Marriage? Shack up? Move in together? Sure, we can get a bigger apartment and merge our lives closer together. Talk her into that and sex will surely follow, won’t it?

We have talked often about sex, but only about the marriages of other people. I sense she wants marriage, but she never pushes or even suggests it as either an option or way to go. How come? I know she plans for the future, but she never mentions ours. She leaves it up to me? Why? What do I know about marriage and raising kids? Or does she think our relationship doesn’t qualify for a lifetime commitment? Her silence deafens me about matters I now realize are critical.

I recall when the term commitment came up. She said I am in charge of such things. The same when I mentioned not dating others. She is along for whatever ride I provide. She will do whatever pleases me. Don’t know if I care to take on that pressure.

Seldom done before and usually avoided, he goes deeper into introspection.

I appreciate her silence about marriage, but why would a woman not pursue her dream more assertively? Am I not the right guy for her? Is she just toying with me until she finds someone else? Does her behavior truly signify her love of me? Only me? Really? Any signs it’s not true? Is it really true that she seeks to join my bus ride into the future? Can I let her drive while I maintain the bus?

Surprising himself, he thinks:

Hell, I love her. She must love me. How much? Can I be sure? I wonder, could we live together? Would she? Probably not. What if I propose marriage? Would she accept or refuse? It’s the question of the day? How can I find out? I’m not about to propose, if the answer will be no. What is it lawyers say? Never ask the question if you don’t already know the answer.

Wait a minute, what am I doing toying with the idea of marriage? Am I ready?  I’m not ready. She may not be the best, although she sure looks it. How do I prove it? I want her but not unless it’s my decision. Not her praying and spreading feminine charm into my life while persuading me to accept a huge new responsibility. She’s great, but I don’t bend my principles or let girls determine my life, even the most gorgeous.

What if she changes after marriage? Does she want kids? How many? But, man, she sure is qualified to blend our lives, manage our kids, prepare my toast, and kiss me off to work. She’d be like Doris Day in the kitchen of my castle. I could even claim a tax dependent. Wow! There may benefits I’ve not uncovered.

Hank recovers with new plan.

Ah,ha! Okay, that’s it. Now I got it. If she loves and wants to marry me, she will let me in her panties. She will bend, yield, and learn to appreciate my sexual competencies. Don’t know how far she will go at the beginning of such ultra smooth pressure, but it’s time to get this love-fest in a higher gear. It’s been her game of friendship development so far. Hell, I favor friends with benefits. Why have I been so quiet and accommodating of her wishes? My new campaign begins now.  I shall conquer the driver of this bus, so she can take me where it’s deservedly beneficial to me too.

But what if she throws me under the bus? Can I recover? Yes, I can, so look out tomorrow, honey, I shall replace you to steer our bus on a new course.

Meanwhile, Jenny knows to expect it. Intuitively, she already prepares for his put-out-or-else campaign. Having privately studied and perfected her strategy of managing sexual aggressiveness and turning threats into friendly banter, she uses techniques to make the competition end up her way. Her sexual history proves this: When passion drives, relationships don’t thrive.

As always, she expects to have her way, and relationship survival is paramount. Until, that is, she decides how and when conquest will happen. Delay becomes more difficult every time they are together.

As she does for each get together with Hank, she anticipates another surprise. Always ready, she doesn’t know the next will reveal Hank as up-and-coming conqueror intent on ….

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2593. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 5


Hank qualifies for fourth date. He’s anxious to get hands on body, but he figures her premature and unexplained ending of their third date was caused by his venturing hand moving too close to her breast. What’s wrong with her? She has been married, so he thought she would welcome it. But he went too far too fast, or so he concludes. Or was it something else? Caution prevails tonight, as he warns himself.

He thinks of stretching what she will tolerate by using passionate kisses and whispers in her ear and then moving slowly to other erogenous zones. Then, he thinks better of it. Let him stir passion until she reveals super desire. Will it work? She may not ever become that desirous of him. Probably not, because his patience tends to vaporize with her in his arms, and he might again overstep her boundaries.  Groin urges can destroy best intentions.

Keeping his hands in proper places, his fourth farewell kiss goes better. She welcomes it. He leaves her enthralled with his calm manner, gentle handling, and sweet words. She offers no rewards or encouragement except several pleasant smiles. Seems to have a good time, and she especially loves his holding her close. But desirous of him? Nope! No signs!

More perplexing than that, and good as the date is, Hank puzzles over a small response of hers. Misunderstanding one point she makes and thinking back on previous dates, he—atypical of a man—becomes defensive and asks, “Have I ever or do I offend you now? You just now flinched, seemed to pull back, and acted restrained, as if you want to end this date. Hopefully, I’m misreading you. I don’t want to displease or not please you, and I sure don’t want you to think my interest in you has diminished in the least.”

Eagerly accepting the early signs that his devotion may be developing, she quickly responds. “No, you have not. You’re quick and easy to please me, and I like it.”

Also embarrassed, Jenny wants to offer more. Reading What Women Never Hear yesterday, she drew this conclusion. Life is processes, actions follow effects more reliably than effects follow actions.

A woman earns a man with respect that morphs into admiration that makes him both likeable and trustful. A man earns a woman with admiration that morphs into respect, then grows with her likeability to become trust. It takes far more time for those processes to develop within men than women. Without a long time associating successfully, each effect may not develop, and the trust may not form.

Her mind also flashes from respect to trust, and how trust feeds on respect and vice versa. It all seems so natural and works well in their relationship, albeit serendipitously. However, she remains quiet about it. Her thoughts are to him much less relevant than after she earns his significant respect. Much like ‘full disclosure’ is ill-advised, and fourth date isn’t the time.

Jenny continues her recovery with this. “I’m sorry, but my mind wandered at something you said. I did not take offense but was preoccupied remembering something that impressed me the other day. In a relationship such as we are developing, ‘As one becomes more admiring and respectful of the other, it spreads the seeds of worth, waters the roots of likeability, and sprouts the connective energies of trust and love’. See what I mean? I know you laugh or snicker, but I’m such a romantic.

In bed that night, Jenny recounts her success at keeping sex out of the limelight. She pats herself on the back for prematurely ending the third date, just because he got too close to her breast. Slight invasion of her privacy prompts good decision. She read his intention and stopped it without causing offense; just enough initiative that he got her message. It confirms something else she recently learned, men believe what they figure out much better than what they are told.

She fights insomnia for awhile as she figures what he will try next. How can she thwart his effort innocently or peacefully enough that he accepts her way instead of his hitting the highway? What warning signals can she give to thwart him before he acts? How to get him to figure her out without her having to tell him?

On the whole subject of sex, she dreams continually of how to discourage his initiatives rather than have to say ‘no’ or ‘stop’. Using those words will have to come later, but the later the better; hopefully after her hook has been set and she has captured him for a lengthy courtship.

She fades into sleep with: He’s such a good man and getting more perfect with each date, of which tomorrow is the fifth and….

 

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Blog 2587 — Happy Birthday, USMC


November 10 is the anniversary of the birth of the United States Marine Corps, now at 241 years of uncommon valor, innovation, and combat excellence.

Once a marine always a marine. If you don’t know a marine or two, then you should. They are different, classic, and traditional Americans smothered with pride and humility. An irresistible combination for women. Not all are the personification of a gentlemen but usually the embodiment of personal responsibility, dependability, and admiration.

I was once blessed to have two marines on my staff in one of my naval commands. Their devotion to and performance of duty stood out as exceptional. They were both marvelous credits to my command, the U.S. Navy, the USMC, and exceptional reflections of the Marine Corps motto, Semper Fidelis (Latin for Always Faithful and usually known verbally as Semper Fi) .

If I could start over at age 17, it would be as a marine.

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