Category Archives: The mind

2668. Superior vs. Dominant Gender — 01

I sense a rant coming on. When sex is everything, no room exists for recovery. Example, what does relationship recovery look like for women today? We are six or seven sub-generations* deep into Feminism. Is it paying off for women in their relationships with men?

Modern women don’t know jack about Jack and not enough about Jill. The sexes are born very different, yet cultural and political trending add constant pressure for them to be more alike. Unisex is no longer a popular term, but the pressure to achieve it is certainly common. (Toilets according to personal preference?)

Women routinely let a man’s sexual pleasure—and perhaps some claimed by her—to substitute for what they can no longer get reliably out of one man. Examples: brighter future for her, permanent relationship, mutual respect, mutual love, likeability based on persona rather than sexual compatibility, sexual fidelity, his duty to stay following a surprise pregnancy, fulfilled moral obligations, dependence on him, two-parent home, fathering their children, he provides and protects, family leadership, lifetime marriage. Oh, she might get a few of those, but her nature craves all of those benefits to be available with one man in her life.

Women can’t get what they want out of players and modern men, unless they agree that sex is everything or at least enough. Men don’t have much more to offer, because they don’t have too. Women are too liberal with their expectations about men. They can’t get their way except temporarily by yielding, can’t get what they expect to get except as they play the man’s game of cheap and easy sex. They rationalize that it’s enough in order to have their own man or avoid being dumped. They also swallow their pride, self-respect, and ability to negotiate for a better life for her and her kids.

Women themselves destroy the worth of their natural superiority at virtually no cost to men. No negotiations about obligations; just give aways that enable men to always win in the present but women lose for their future. Men by nature manage the present but ignore the future; they can handle whatever comes, which in itself—if not influenced by a well-loved woman—is enough to ruin a woman’s future.

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with other people. Jill straddles the wave of sexual freedom with legs spread, while Jack enjoys the greatest unobligated pleasures. Jack keeps promoting endless sex by endorsing political propaganda, media culture, and masculine habits of dealing with conquered females as disposables. Women fall for it, and men and women become enemies pretty much as planned by radical feminists and political revolutionaries more than half a century ago.

Women destroy their superior ability by favoring male dominance. They lower themselves to the level of men for the pleasure of sex and thereby lift responsibility from men to help care for their offspring. Men will keep forever the lid on that jar of life.

Only the crossing of female legs outside of marriage can restore a woman-governed society as once existed in America. Only marriage-obligated sex can recover manly respect of females, enable femininity to overpower feminist thought, enable men to appreciate ruling the marriage and family while wife runs both, and make it happen by utilizing the natural superiority of the female sex.

We are all born to get our way with others, which means that competition is the lifeblood of human interaction. Calm and peaceful competition depends on mutual respect, each gender for the other. Those days are long past; single men have virtually no respect for females, as evidenced by both the habits and growing popularity of players. Other men may have some respect left. Of course, if men are blamed, they claim that women are respected, but it’s a dumbed-down version caused by women not standing up for themselves.

Men get their way by out-competing other men, but they rely on the threat of—men have little else—physicality to dominate females. Women get their way by competing with women. They are well-born to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver men. But they are highly restricted, if they don’t use their physicality of crossed legs to capture and win sincere obligations by one man who chooses her as his.

Women have sexual assets that men will pay to access. If men don’t have to pay much, they can orbit through and around the female neighborhood satisfying manly urges with freedom. Hit and miss but never left out in the cold of female disapproval for not trying hard enough, for not meeting female values, standards, and expectations.

Unattractive women have less hope of capturing a man; their female sisters keep most of the men occupied and satisfied. With sex on his mind all the time, such as with players, only attractive dolls fit the bill. Gals with more than sex to offer don’t come into view, aren’t noticed, and are not observed long enough for their qualities to be admired, virtues uncovered, and for men to learn that sex isn’t everything.

Women are superior except when they forego or forget their strengths in order to have temporary boyfriend, husband, lover, ex, or just be popular. It enables men to exploit their dominance without competition. Women no longer get their way, unless its by endorsing the man’s game of sexual freedom.


*I count a sub-generation as six or seven years, because that’s how often boys and girls separate themselves from the previous generation with their choices in toys, music, apparel, habits, taste, chit-chat, preference to associate with peers, and adolescent openness with their unique personal bias. As adults, each sub-generation has its own hard-to-distinguish identity, but the latest is deeper into Feminism than previous ones.


Filed under boobs, courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Feminism: OOPS!, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, old school, sex differences, The mind

2666. Women’s Happiness Is a Daily Process

Here’s another view of how women succeed or don’t succeed in life. If you recall, post 806 describes the pathway to female happiness, and this is part of how it works.

Life is a process and the female nature is designed to enable each woman to capitalize on it. Her inborn motivational forces push her around inside a model that looks remarkably like this.

She’s born with self-love, knows that she’s pretty, and has an endless urge to get her way associating with others. Sprouting out of self-love is self-gratitude for being alive with so much to give away or share with others, to be good by doing good, to get her way over matters for which she feels responsible. Note that self-gratitude stirs her to action more than desire to love. Who wants to love someone or something, if one can’t first be grateful for how they fit into one’s life? (It’s why she’s not likely to love a man who constantly irritates or criticizes her; she can’t be grateful for herself when she’s uncomfortable with him.)

Unless ruined by nincompoops in childhood, self-love and prettiness are permanent. Both bless her with self-gratitude that is, however, not permanent but subject to the surprises and moods of life. If her self-gratitude is weakened, she can’t give what she does not possess. And so, her relationship effectiveness also weakens.

When she is grateful for herself, 1) she gets her way by showing gratitude for others, 2) thereby appears important to them, 3) which confirms her primal motivational objective to reap self-importance, 4) which enlarges her self-gratitude, and 5) which gives her more of her “grateful charm” to spread around.

The more gratitude she spreads around, the more good that she does, and the better person she becomes. God designed her to become a better person, or doing so would not be pursued and so highly valued among women.

Consequently, the essence of female happiness is her gratitude, and the root is the daily “happys” that she earns. Doing her best eliminates self-doubt and -criticism.

Remember, that’s the design that women inherit at birth. If not followed somewhat along those lines, her relationships deteriorate. Looking at the behavior of modern women, my diagnosis is that they severely lack self-gratitude and thus hamstring themselves from an enjoyable life doing what women do so well (and men don’t do at all).


P.S. If she focuses on spreading her gratefulness, love will take care of itself. How do I know? A woman’s love doesn’t bond a man; he doesn’t think he deserves it. However, her gratitude comes across that he has value, may be admired, and suggests he’s good enough that she can depend on him. Those conditions are more satisfying than even her love.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, nurturing, sex differences, The mind

2647. Strategy for Courtship — 02: Beliefs

I know most of you gals look for WAYS and WHAT to do to improve your relationship record; e.g., rules. I think the WHY and HOW you do something is more essential for success; e.g., mindset. So, I now focus on tying some things together before we get to the details.

Why aren’t modern gals more successful with men? When specialists can’t succeed in their own specialty, i.e., relationships, their attitude reflects a mindset that more responsibility can improve. Modern-day relationship specialists ignore their natural talent, ability, and attraction and believe things that hurt their cause.

Change one’s attitude and they change their life. But nobody wants to change their attitude. It’s too personal; it reflects who they are. Furthermore, one can’t just up and directly change what’s in their heart. It has to be replaced by another attitude that arises out of a different belief. Replace one belief with another and one’s attitude changes.

So, I shall not encourage you to change and make your life better. Instead, I’ll describe what’s inside you, several beliefs different from those you carry around hunting a good man. You can decide if and how you want to believe any of the following.

Undeveloped and mistaken beliefs hold women back as they try to embolden men to pursue them in courtship. Poor attitudes flow out of women who stick to pop culture values, standards, and expectations. The following are roots of female common sense for dealing with men.

  1. Being the relationship expert, each woman is responsible to prompt whatever manly behavior supports and energizes one man’s pursuit of her. IOW, she does whatever prompts him to earn her and not the other way around. She leads indirectly as if in background mode, gives up little for nothing, appreciates his investment of himself in her, but doesn’t reveal that she’s similarly invested. Without accepting full responsibility for relationship success and failure, she doesn’t learn from relationship turmoil or failure. It’s too easy to blame the guy, especially the one who dumps her, and it closes her mind to self-improvement.
  2. Women are born to be good and motivated to do good. They confirm goodness by doing good, and it makes them more appealing and worthy in the eyes of selves and others. Especially men, who are born with the ability to do good but not motivated to be good. Any drive to be good interferes with their competitive drive to get what they want. It takes a good woman to influence a man to exploit his ability to do good, usually to please her, and thus he too becomes good. Women don’t talk about it, but it underwrites the hopes and wishes they have of improving their husband over the years. His doing good makes her even better. Seldom does a woman seek to make her husband worse than he already is in her eyes. It all, however, begins in courtship; if she isn’t good and tries to do good, her credibility does not convince him to follow her example.
  3. The natural and excited urge of females to share their love motivates a gal to spread her words of love and affection. It’s a mistake in courtship. Men don’t appreciate unearned gifts. Consequently, her freely given love earns her little or nothing in return. In dating and courtship, she should make pursuers earn her loving words. Far better for her to make guys earn every little favor she shows them. Everything is to be earned, if she is to be won; e.g., third date before first kiss; avoid passionate moments until she decides; his devotion appears before she offers those three little words. Her affectionate actions convince more effectively that he’s truly loved; much better than her words of love. It works because guys believe what they figure out more than what they are told. It also self-encourages them to try harder to impress or please her, and their actions program their heart to favor her more over time, and out of which arises his devotion. Men don’t just walk away from their lengthy investments, so time encourages his greater investment, tendency to bond, and devotion development.More common sense about virtue, femininity, respect, and political opposition follow next.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2632 — Universal Motivators: The Grand Design

Again, pardon the hubris for presuming to know what God intended. But this is the conclusion I draw from how humans have acted and reacted over the millennia.

This seems to be the grand design, the original model. Men are motivated to spread their seed. Mothers are motivated to raise their children. Readers are motivated to read something else.

Men have little or no incentive to love or be loved by only one woman. Depositors of seed favor moving on and have little natural interest in helping with kids. However, females possess a unique relationship expertise that persuades one man of choice to let one woman of choice get her way.

Spreading being easier than raising kids, women seek fathers to help ease female burdens. They use love as primary method and find cooperation more valuable than competition. Consequently, women give up getting their way in the present in order to bless their future with a man’s presence—but they eventually learn a major exception exists.

Thus, the battle of the sexes organizes, begins, and continues.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2623. Love is Never Enough — III

I write for women who think they know how to love a man into a successful marriage. Not all women have it wrong. A God-awful large number don’t have it right, or more marriages would last longer. Love is never enough.

Fiancés are so eager to seal the deal, they overlook this deeply embedded conviction within potential grooms. She marries for love; he marries for the promise he sees in her. How much of his love resides in the promise is an individual matter. To marry, he sees promise in her to uplift, promote, and contribute to his successes in his life, especially the present as he will face the future when it comes.

A man is born to satisfy himself, keep himself satisfied, and he has endless skills and talent for doing so. He lives a life of successes strung together into what’s right and good for him and within the freedom and ability he has available. As a sideline, almost any woman is available for frequent sex, so he has little interest in paying the price required to keep the same woman conveniently available.

Thus, his satisfaction and her love are very similar and equally critical. Self-respect that he has and satisfaction that he earns describes a man as adequate within himself. As an independent person, he gives little of himself except to earn success. OTOH, love holds a woman together. She has self-love, spreads it among those in her life, and measures success by how she helps others and thus adds to her self-importance.

She’s born with oodles of self-love. She aims at spreading plenty of it, out of which she also earns self-respect that enables her to respect men and a man.

He’s born with oodles of self-respect. He doesn’t spread it as women spread love. Instead, he harbors it to earn self-love, which then enables him to love others. By earning what he lacks, self-love, he enables himself to be more successful associating with others. Primarily, he aims at earning what he lacks, wins success at it, and expands his inborn need for greater responsibility to achieve more satisfying success.

A woman is born well-motivated to love herself, keep others well loved, and she too has endless skills and talent for it. But the genders differ on this point, men are independent and don’t need a woman. Women are dependent and desire frequent uplifting and confirmation of their importance. They need someone close to magnify their lives into more than just tolerance. They are born with the instinct for a man to provide it and intuition to recruit one to enhance their lives. So, a woman is motivated to mate up with a man, while he’s motivated to do other things that may or may not include being burdened with an adequate mate or satisfied with a superb wife.

Women thus face two challenges. If husband is to be, it is up to me. If keeping husband is to be, it is up to me.

Women measure marital success by her giving and receiving love with husband. A husband finds success by satisfying himself that he does right for himself, good for them, and satisfies himself in living his life and husbanding hers. It’s more complex than women imagine, and love is never enough.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she loses, marriage, The mind

2615. Pretty Time

Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady claims, “The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated.” If not her behavior, then her appearance must determine lady-like treatment. My late wife, Her Majesty Grace, repeated this many times: “If she dresses like a whore, she is treated like a whore.” Again, appearance touted as critical to how a woman will be treated.

Women can’t motivate men or change men’s minds about judging women. Women can only motivate themselves to change themselves, and thereby hope and figure that men’s judgments will become more favorable and somehow morph into better treatment. Two factors play vital roles in such relationship development. Attractiveness triggers the start up. Conquest stops the high rate of previous development.

Boiled down to the essence, either women pay more attention to their personal attractiveness every day, or men will continue to find them less and less adequate for mating. No man wants to be seen associating permanently with a less than attractive mate. It is not women, it is the male nature, the way they are born as competitors.

Women have been propagandized into adopting masculine-style sexual freedom. The sexual revolution was designed by radical feminists to make enemies of men and women—a political objective. It worked primarily by blaming men for the problems of women.

Even though it works to the marital disadvantage of women, they exploit masculine-style sexual freedom. It motivates them to dress sexually attractive and yield more easily to conquest, both of which make them poorer wives as potential husbands judge them.

Men don’t marry for sex, they marry for a good woman upon whom they can depend to provide the essentials for husbandly life to grow per his wishes. He’s simple; love is never enough. Faithful husbands need three things. Satisfied with her as his woman, satisfied that he likes living with her, and satisfied that his marriage is working to his advantage and compensating for yielding his independence. All of which makes her that much more valuable to him, provided she promotes her own attractiveness.

Nowadays, in hope of establishing relationships, modern women assume the role of seller with men as buyer, a reversal of their natural roles. Women now expect to prove their worth to earn a man, and they use sex as coin of the realm. They mistakenly think it makes them unique, but sex organs are similar in all women, so where does a woman’s uniqueness come from? Her unique virtues emanate out of her mind, heart, character, and personality. Women’s wishes to the contrary, men don’t marry for sex; it’s a sideline benefit but neither prime motivator nor prime keeper of a husband’s dedication.

Women use sex for leverage without grasping these facts. Sex neither bonds a man as it does a woman, nor holds him with any permanency, nor makes her unique, nor makes her the virtuous woman that men seek to marry. IOW, by women using sex to attract a man, it causes them to end up as more sex target than marriage target.

Even worse for women, provided with cheap and easy unmarried sex, men miss the experience of discovering a woman’s virtues. Positive qualities that each man admires and considers to be virtues.

Men uncover a woman’s virtues while studying her for weaknesses to facilitate conquest. After bedding her the first time, he quits looking for weaknesses, the result of which is the virtual end of discovering qualities he can admire. He paid whatever price she expected for conquest, which means he need do nothing more to understand her better. In principle, he owns their sexual agenda and, by inference, her.

Thus, relationship development is severely curtailed by both conquest and lack of wearing attractive, complementary, and clean and well-groomed attire.

A man wants last to see his wife treated by others as a sex target. Instead, he wants her seen so attractive that his male competitors admire his having captured her, and respect him that she now belongs to him.

When a husband is so satisfied that he values his marriage above his independence, he has married a good wife. Out of that satisfying arrangement, faithfulness and fidelity emerge and grow.

Thus, attractive attire and grooming and delay of conquest prolong the development of relationships until potential husbands truly appreciate her attractiveness, and it becomes enhanced by her virtues discovered accidentally while looking for ways to conquer her.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, The mind

2606. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 15

Hank, seated on his balcony, starts into a six-pack as he awaits the start of his favorite team’s football game. Recalling a female friend of old, he uses a tactic she taught him. Here I am, about to marry my best friend. She has all the positive talents, skills, and attitude I hope to see in a wife, but do I see any red flags? She doesn’t hate men or dogs. She’s not short tempered. She can plan something and finish the tasks in it. She wants to go to church regularly. She loves children and wants her own. She can cook very well. She’s modest but very strong about protecting sexual connections. She’s not extravagant about her living. She’s not against having a big family, but we have not discussed or agreed yet on a plan. Also, we have not discussed an organizational plan into which we fit the eight strategies I sent her on email.

He continues his thoughts. She wants to not work after children are born, especially until they enter first grade. If we have two kids six-years apart or six one-year apart, it means she would stay home at least for 12 and maybe more years. It also means one income for well over a decade; does she fear that and justify her conclusion about having a small family? Is she basing her preference for a smaller family on the expectation that I cannot provide? I have to talk to her. Why not tonight? Cancel the concert we were going to and just talk; her brother wants our tickets anyway. Things are beyond serious. We have a lot to cover, now that we are moving our wedding to sooner rather than later.

He leaves the balcony’s surround-sound traffic noise. He calls and starts with disappointment, she sees a red flag. “Honey, I want to cancel the concert tonight. Can you go along with it? I’ll give our tickets to your brother; it’s sold out and he wants to go. I want a talk-fest to cover at least two items we have only touched on. We think so much alike, we never go very deep into any subject. I would like to reinforce some things and perhaps drop others. Whatcha think?”

Sensing she overstepped with her ‘speech’ about men and making love, she inquires about his agenda. It sounds okay, but her antenna go up. Too much conviction in his voice. Just red flagging his voice over the phone, his ideas seem already sealed and his agenda doesn’t sound very negotiable, although he provides her nothing by way of ideas or negotiations. She feels underrated or cheated of his best kind of treatment. Is it lack of respect or mutual understanding?

She prepares for the worst, until they meet and he orders champagne with a smile that smacks of his intention to be considerate and loveable to her. Pointing to the bottle, he tells her “we gotta talk and that should help.” She sweetens up and….


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Hook up and..., How she loses, How she wins, nurturing, The mind