Category Archives: The mind

2728. More About Aging — Hide Her Flaws?

Seemingly disconnected, certain female habits improve both self-respect and respect for men in a woman’s heart. This post is about one feminine decision that can do much more than social media to produce success and satisfaction in the lives of women.

We all do what makes us feel good about ourselves, and so women try to look younger. They seem captivated by this notion. ‘The better I can fix up to please myself, the younger I appear and the more I appeal to men’.

However, given the nature of men, it’s a misleading scheme. While highly attractive for a gal to appear younger, neither sex nor her younger appearance bond a man and keep him for life. A younger female shape and appearance are marvelous attractions, but they don’t hold a man. (Except those adult men who haven’t escaped teenage values, expectations, and ambitions. That is, adultolescents who also seek to impose greater control over their woman and improve their reputation among fellow competitors.)

Women are famous for disguising wrinkles, hiding flaws, and otherwise supporting the cosmetics industry. Unintended, they spur capitalism and that’s great for all of us. However, they apparently possess an incomplete view of what they do. Whom do they aim to please by looking younger? Themselves or others? Deciding those questions provides a more complete view of the look-younger process.

Most women make themselves look younger specifically for the sake of looking younger. Please their own ego. They expect to be dealt with as younger gals; they earned it by hard work. However, it brings on defeats and frustrations with the cause unrecognized.

A woman’s man-hunting prospects increase dramatically if she takes another strategy. Instead of just pleasing her own eyes, she improves and promotes her overall attractiveness in the eyes of men. And she does it daily; comfort and convenience give way to new objectives.

She transforms her attractiveness to produce beauty in the eyes of many men, out of which a few will succumb to her ambition. The more who succumb, the more options she has to recruit one, develop a relationship with permanence as goal, develop mutual gratitude, and thus develop happiness for the rest of her life.

She makes herself look more reliably attractive to men roughly her own age, one of whom she hopes to capture and keep. By doing so, she shows more respect for men, and she cancels out the disadvantages of younger for the sake of younger. She replaces her selfish expectations with youthful but sensible allure that men can appreciate better than young and immature.

Mature men understand and accept aging as normal, so women should specialize at making themselves in all respects prettier for the guys about their age. Aim her efforts to appear modestly younger at the best prospects among those her age. Don’t downgrade herself to have more men to choose from. Instead, aim mature thoughts at men interested in these: devoted friend, flexible companion, accommodating sex partner, great listener, admirable loyalty, advocate of family harmony, non-complainer, dependence on what he does, and especially understanding competing responsibilities in wife/mother roles.

Focusing strictly on prevention of aging, women find frustrating results that produce strong incentive to continually try harder. They shouldn’t stop trying but do it aimed at men their own age. No one man in particular until he’s her husband.



Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2727. More About Aging — Background

When it comes to aging, women have an unproductive view of life. Mindful that younger woman usually gets the man—unnatural though it is for keeps—overly age-conscious women help make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. They adopt many bad habits for keeping a man as they self-develop under the influence of radical politics.

More on this later, but older women don’t change to please a man. Perhaps that’s another reason younger women appeal to men?


This is primarily background material but it will help with the specifics that will follow in the next few days.

Feminism continues to generate a humongous respect gap between the sexes. It also reduces true self-respect to rubble within the hearts of females and replaces it with false self-respect based on disrespect for the opposite sex. Hidden beneath the turmoil of feminist politics, the lack of internal, one-way, and mutual respect darkens the social and domestic atmospheres for both sexes.

Men object but nobody listens. To compensate the anger and complaints of men about feminist nonsense applied to personal relationships, women buy masculine accommodation with cheap and easy sex. Many men retain anger, however, and avoid accepting the propriety and well-deserved political, legal, and economic gains of women.

It was all planned and executed through feminist politics, legal and administrative entanglements, and economic transfer of power. Women won in those wars that occurred outside of personal relationships. But individual women lose their superior gender advantage to the extent they bring feminist-think and -values into their relationship as a couple.

You can see damage to the female psyche as so many women in middle and older age float in public minus a wedding ring. Where do all the good men end up? They are chased off by women who could not or do not respect the man they capture, and who expect husbands to recognize that women are right, men are to blame, and husbands should listen to wife complain about all that’s wrong. IOW, ex-wives tried to make husbands act different from their nature and load them down verbally with anti-masculine crap. In that way they expected to make husband a better man in their feminist-oriented, propagandized mindset.

The feminist influence ignores or condemns these inflexible traits of men. A man will not long remain in a marriage in which he is not satisfied with who he is, what he is doing, and who he is doing it with. Also, men don’t change to get what they want, although they will change to keep what they have. OTOH, women will change to get what they want, although they will not change to keep what they have. The feminist effect seeks to reverse those natural roles and men continue to quietly rebel in background to the disadvantage and often abuse of women.

Both are born and want to get their way. He expects to dominate in the present and isn’t too concerned about the future; he can handle whatever comes down the turnpike of life. She can’t get her way in the present and still keep him with her. So, if she keeps her focus on their future together and patiently awaits getting her way, she opens the door to keeping him with her.

So, as modern women marry with the conviction they can quickly get their man more aligned with wife’s thoughts and ideas, they sound the death knell to the relationship. One designed so elaborately by her to make her feel good about herself but done without regard for the emotional acceptability by husband.

It translates into this. She can change to get what she wants, which usually is a continuing relationship. He won’t change for that. He will change, however, to keep her if she learns to keep him. It’s where aging becomes so valuable. A husband consumes years of faithful allegiance before he fully appreciates his wife’s admirable qualities to the extent that he doesn’t want to lose her, and for which he will usually change to keep her.

Next, women focus on the wrong thing when they mask wrinkles and hide flaws for the purpose of disguising aging and hope of looking younger. It makes sense, but does it serve her best?


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2721. Depression in Children — Responsibility

If this principle were more universally applied in society, much depression would not occur. Neither would psychologists just now be discovering that depression exists in four-five year old kids:

  • Childhood responsibility prevents depression then and later.

Childhood responsibility is duty in which a self-developing child feels obligated, comfortable, and without fear. From toddler to puberty, chores are most effective if they match up and grow with the child’s developing maturity.

Parental influence begins early. When the conscious mind opens in the third year of life, kids become aware they too are a person and capable of doing things. Shortly thereafter they become aware they are boy or girl. They come to expect the respect they see others receive. Soon they see that girls and boys are respected and treated differently. Accepting it as normal, they become interested in doing things and open up to whatever comes as different lessons in life.

Parental habits and kids’ subconscious minds synchronize easily and soon hardwire this into the mind of toddlers. Respect and trust are reciprocals. A parent who assigns responsibility for chores to match a child’s maturity shows trust in the child’s decisions, which reflects back as respect for the parent. After that, respectable handling of the child’s mistakes or inadequacies—instead of over-supervising in the name of perfection or parental taste—confirms trust of the parent. In the arena of dealing with a child’s determination to self-develop, respect earns trust and vice versa and both are critical to mom harmonizing the home and family.

Lack of chores stifles a child’s self-development. Boys are born to produce things. Girls are born to process life and the lives around them. In both, unfilled ambitions cause dissatisfaction that prompts undesired behavior. Old school: An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.

Made lazy by lack of obligation to earn their way in life, boys and girls slide easily into misery and fight to shake it off. Parents usually don’t know what to do but use authority. Kids quickly grasp the meaning of authority, but they resent it being used on them. They know they can do better if given a chance. It requires patience that parents often lack, which turns a child’s resentment into a fighting back spirit and behavior becomes worse for parents but satisfying for kids. Antagonisms multiply.

When children are not obligated with chores, several results spill over into their lives. Loneliness grows from the uncertainty of not earning one’s way in life and thereby affirm one’s worth. Frustration grows from the lack of ways to feel good about oneself.  Undeserving comes from lack of earned worthiness. Disruptive thoughts arise from the famine of opportunities to earn personal satisfaction among others. Self-confidence fails to form out of achievements. Uncertainty emerges about what’s coming later. Ambitious thoughts turn against family harmony. Dissatisfaction drives kids to look for play and pleasure for its own sake, and bad habits form easily as dissatisfaction grows. Video games, unproductive behavior, teen worship, and drugs gain influence and unproductive habits grow.

WADWMUFGAO, we all do what make us feel good about ourselves. Children ‘unemployed’ with chores find more playful and pleasurable ways for girls to make themselves important and boys to admire themselves. They fail to learn early that they have their own business in life, that of managing their behavior to fit compatibly among others.

OTOH, supervised respectfully and trustingly, children who satisfy themselves by fulfilling obligations recognize they deserve the respect and trust they enjoy with parents and siblings. Girls earn feelings of their importance to others; boys confirm their sense of competence. Satisfied kids add value and sense their worth to the family team, which enables mom to harmonize home and family.

Chores teach children to be satisfied with themselves. Satisfied kids don’t get depressed. They don’t spend time focused on their immaturity, past failures as determined by someone else, or fear to tackle new tasks. They feel good about trying new and challenging tasks as maturity swells and personal determination has not been curbed by poor upbringing. It’s self-development in action.

The assignment and regular performance of chores enables little ones to self-develop into mature children and aim at becoming mature adults. Experience growing up is empty without chore performance that enables children to satisfy themselves.


Filed under Dear daughter, marriage, nurturing, old school, The mind

2720. Depression in Children — Differences in the Sexes

I last left you with this thought. The sexes are born different. Even traits they lack at birth are different. Girls lack self-respect and boys lack self-love. Each earns what they lack as they grow up. They earn it performing very different, simple, and adult facts of life; development occurs by doing so in steps slightly beyond their level of maturity.

Those missing traits are critical to both the proper alignment of mating compatibility and depression avoidance. Without self-respect, women can’t protect themselves against male dominance. Without self-love, men can’t love a woman as she deserves and expects.

Girls learn to assist and work alongside mothers, regularly perform lightweight chores, develop hygienic habits, arrange their lives as an independent person, attire and groom to feel good, keep themselves attractive and appealing as duty to themselves. The more that independence, self-confidence, and determination stabilize in their minds, the more self-respect accumulates in their hearts. Thus, girls earn self-respect through their own initiative, effort, achievement, and self-development under the guidance mostly of mom.

The earlier the better applies here. Self-respect earned before puberty serves as the most significant trait for a gal to get her way dealing with adults of the opposite sex. It is greatest in gals who have no fear of living with confidence, determination, and perhaps brashness. Moreover, lack of fear steers them away from depression. Self-respect enables them to overcome troubles that impact decisions and problems that affect their lives; they are in charge or have reasonable evidence to think so.

The self-development of girls happens with female guidance and needs no endorsement by the opposite sex. Girls and women develop on their own, whereas males do not develop so independently. Boys and men need affirming endorsement or at least obvious acceptance by females to earn self-love.

Boys learn to work alongside their fathers, perform ever more complicated chores, and clean up out of respect for others after they have accomplished whatever they work on or however they play. As they pile up accomplishments, the beginnings of self-love accumulate in the mind.

However, a boy’s heart awaits confirmation of self-love by respect shown by one or more respected females. IOW, men can’t love themselves as person when lacking the endorsement of woman, first mom and subsequently a mate. Boys earn self-love by earning the love of someone else, which begs the question: Does he have to purposely earn and keep mom’s love to convince himself that he’s loved? Or, does mother-love prevail so obviously that he does not have to earn someone else’s love?

The answer to those questions is critical for a woman trying to select a good candidate, marry, and harmonize her home and family. If a boy purposely earned and kept his mom’s love, he likely makes a good mate. IOW, he did not expect love for nothing. If mother-love was displayed so obviously that the boy had nothing to do to get it, he likely makes a poor mate. IOW, he likely was spoiled.

Do you see the female’s dilemma? Boys and men can live without self-love, but they possess streaks of undependability they—but not their mates—can live with. If girls never earn self-respect in childhood and if their mate is short of self-love, women find life and marriage disappointing and tough to handle. It lays groundwork for depression episodes for wives.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, nurturing, old school, sex differences, The mind

2719. Depression in Children — Corrective Model

Action is the light at the end of the depression tunnel. Worthwhile determination cures a lot of emotional malaise, apprehension, and disappointment. I propose a simple model for parental upbringing that motivates kids to proactively develop themselves, and I suggest that it prevents depression throughout life.

It’s based on this assumption. We are all self-developers, and we start as toddlers. However immature kids may be and act, their determination is mature to them. Except when trying to get their way in the moment, they may not know specifically what they want. But they are determined to keep agitating with life around them until they figure out the next step needed to confirm or satisfy themselves as self-important girls or self-admired boys.

Boys and girls are born differently, have different causes of depression, but prevention is the same for both. Prevention comes from fulfilling worthy responsibilities to the primary satisfaction of the child, not just the parent or someone else. Kids are anxious and not reluctant to exploit their determination when they know who they are, what they can do, their self-interest remains focused on the present and the future, and they expect to at least get by with it.

Both sexes learn through successful self-development that they are confident, capable, and deserve recognition of their competence. At least good enough that parents don’t squawk.

Part of self-development is learning to shift from satisfying oneself to satisfying someone else simply because the boy wants to do it the way someone he admires would do it, or the girl wants to do it the way someone important to her wants something done. Being arbitrarily required to do something to please someone else that is contrary to a child’s satisfaction does two things, it shows less respect than a child expects and thereby interrupts self-development.

We adults do it this way too. Self-development teaches kids to behave within the boundaries of their self-image, the picture they have of themselves in terms of who they are and what they can do, will do, and expect to do, or at least try to do. Their self-image is fully developed at any single moment, they know who and what they are. And so, that picture self-authorizes them to act, to exercise their determination.

When someone has a favorable picture of who they are, they try not to disappoint themselves in what they do. They keep their lives focused within the picture they have of themselves. If they have a poor picture, it keeps them disappointed in themselves, uncertainty and angst settle in, and they lean toward or enter depression.

Children try to develop themselves to their own satisfaction. They know what they want, soon learn something better exists, and many of their wants turn to needs. Kids modify their behavior to move toward new wants and needs. It’s the same process by which we adults live our lives.

The cause of childhood depression is thus rooted in the subculture of parental interference with the self-development of children in the years before puberty.

Next. The sexes are born different. Even traits they lack at birth are different. Girls lack self-respect but have special attractions by which they can earn it associating with boys and men. Boys lack self-love and depend on self-admiration to earn it and female love to endorse it and keep it functional.

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Filed under Dear daughter, Her glory, marriage, nurturing, sex differences, The mind

2713. Feminism Revisited

Feminism adds this fatal flaw to female-think. She can’t be wrong compared to man-think. History of patriarchy and inequality justify whatever she decides is right, and so her man must yield to her dominance whenever she expects it. Even though equality breeds more inequality, it is her due. The male nature is the culprit, and feminist values and expectations must reign. Men are politically and legally forced to go along, even though it twists human nature away from the natural course of life as compatible mates.

Accused of being wrong without opportunity to defend oneself hurts men directly; they fight back. We all learn to avoid what hurts. However, men don’t admit they hurt, but they cuss and fight back anyway. It often takes the form of serving up revenge on a cold plate; they will get their way sometime and some way; e.g., they squabble and he reminds and uses her sexual history to win the argument

In the end, women lose manly respect and don’t get what they really hope to achieve. They oftentimes inspire men to produce the opposite. (Among women of middle age, I see so many bare ring fingers and so few couples enjoying slack time together.)

Relationships founded on feminist conviction strip the male nature of relevance. Men pressured into the backseat of a relationship have little interest in pleasing their driver-mate. Even though they already hold the superior position, women are convinced they must elevate themselves relative to men, and they accept the false belief they can get what they want out of life by keeping men in some subordinate role. They expect to win a man’s devotion and loyalty with love and feminist ideals reinforced with frequent and convenient sex; it will ultimately lead to happiness, if he will just go along as she says and expects.

It’s seemingly unknown, but men have virtually nothing to do with female happiness, which comes from each woman’s gratefulness for who she is and gratitude for the people and things involved in her life. A man makes little or no contribution toward it. Until, that is, she finds tremendous and overbearing gratitude for who he is and what he does to fulfill her life. Her gratitude for him begins to form as she fits him in with all else in her life. Therefore, he can’t be both. If he can be blamed for anything, a limit exists on how worthy he is of her gratitude, which impedes her happiness.

Thus, by finding her man short of her feminist expectations, she initiates the process by which her happiness fails to rise up to her female expectations. A man doesn’t develop a woman’s happiness. He satisfies himself that he sustains his marriage doing what he does best—providing and protecting. If she’s grateful for who he is and what he does, she’s happy with him today and her happiness for later life accumulates with kids and grandchildren in whom she finds more gratitude. Happiness without gratefulness for her man is a glass half full — or  maybe half empty.

Accusation without masculine representation in the feminist-inflicted court of political correctness puts women in the dominant seat of male-female relations. In exchange, however, they give up their superior ability and forego a female’s expertise to build and manage relationships, which weakens a woman’s self-gratitude, which weakens her gratefulness for other people and the stuff of life, and which melts down her happiness before it can accumulate into very much for her to enjoy in whatever later life she has promised herself.

So, for those women unable to find happiness in life, let them blame the root cause, Feminism.


P.S. I applaud the legal, political, and economic advancements of women in the past half century. They both deserve and earned it.

However, the baby drained out with the bath water. Women ignore the motivational force of the male nature. They abandon their female nature and ignore their relationship expertise in the social and domestic arenas. They now get what they want except a man to live with happily ever after.

In the natural course of compatible life together, men become what women expect of them. The political class makes enemies of men and women. Consequently, today’s women expect today’s men to fail as compatible mates—and so they do.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, Feminism: OOPS!, How she loses, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2711. Who Gets Their Way?

Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Consequently, competition arises as the primary motivational force in human interaction. When a couple actively competes to resolve disagreements or issues, the man tends to win. It’s his inborn nature not to lose to a weaker force. He pushes to win with ambition backed up by strong desire to not lose should winning escape him.

Women recognize their inferior position in straight-up competition, and so they find strength elsewhere. By replacing competition with cooperation in a relationship, women tend to get their way much more often. Thus, the weaker sex strengthens itself. By doing so, girls and women more easily disrupt or thwart male-female competition. Girls learn the art so early in life that it acts as part of their nature; it can be seen even among toddlers.

Men push hard to get their way when competing, but they don’t relish competing with their woman or wife. They fear losing, and so they are susceptible to female cooperation. When women use cooperation and let men win in short-run matters, it enables them to win in the long run by shaping future decisions to more easily get their way. Upcoming opportunities add pressure for her to more easily yield on current issues and figure out how to shape the long range together such that she wins later.

Over time and with practice, a wife’s sense of cooperation to get her way can overcome husband’s expectation that dominance, authority, and command will get his way. Women have the relationship expertise and a bedrock principle empowers their nature—she enables him to rule on present day issues, and she shapes their future together to enable her to rule on upcoming matters. Moreover, the more she focuses her daily life thinking about future events and expectations, the better prepared she is to prevent some disagreements and relationship disruptions from ever arising.

That bedrock principle provides the superior gender with endless opportunities to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver the dominant gender. When adopted by women, it enables them to dominate relationships in the background. Foreground seems occupied by husband and wife, but wife and mother surround husband/father with helpful negotiating pressures operating in background, many of which he may be unaware.

Women give a little now to get a lot later. For men, however, the urge to dominate present-day issues squelches consideration about the long run. Men figure they can handle whatever comes when it comes, and women gain the planning advantage.

Going further, ever-smarter wives persuade husbands to collaborate, in which case both sides yield enough that both win routinely.

Compete, cooperate, and collaborate. Men can and do specialize in doing the first. The drive to get her way urges women to dodge the first and focus on the latter two. It’s another part of how the superior gender lives compatibly with the dominant gender, since both expect to get their way in matters of mutual interest.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, How she wins, marriage, The mind