Category Archives: The mind

2705. Why Are We Here?


Her Highness Lady Penny at post 2696 responded as below to these questions: “Why are we here? What did God design us for and expect us to accomplish in life? Or, if you don’t believe, what has evolutionary development prepared us for? Anything in particular?”

Her exposition shines so brightly that I post it with special recognition.

Guy

——

“Hi Sir Guy,

“I really appreciate the thought provoking questions you ask at the end of this post!

“I thought you and readers might find this dialogue of great interest too as it speaks to the questions you posed: http://www.mindofafox.com/site/the-legend/index.html

“I have contemplated your questions many times before without finding an answer. When I started reading and learning from this Blog however, tentative answers to questions I’ve wondered about started emerging. Including one to your questions.

“We are here to propagate the species. This is what God designed us for. He expects us to maintain the order of things as He designed them originally. Being God, however, He also gave us free will to decide if propagating the species is going to be within the boundaries of a marriage or outside it or if it is going to be an individual option at all. It is in women’s and children’s interest that our species is created and nurtured within a healthy marriage. Men and women have default settings/natures God gave them to live compatibility, as is stated on this blog, with each other. Most women, however, have enabled Feminism to unwittingly brainwash them (in universities, on TVs, etc.) and to distort the natural order of things. E.g. adopting masculine style sexual freedom of sleeping around and resultantly falling pregnant or going to sperm banks and conceiving children in that manner, etc. When humans deviate from the natural order of things as God designed, chaos can be expected and the species can drive itself out as a result.

“In what presently seems like the Darwinian jungle to me where survival of the fittest is the order of the day, it appears to this lady that those that adopt the Feminist mindset (the “fit” ones) are trying to drive out those that are against it (the “weak” ones) and those that are for God (the “weak” ones). Will they succeed? To me, the answer to that question depends on what the superior sex as a collective chooses to do with their free will… In the film, Hannah Arendt, Guy recommended to us in post 2363, Hannah says “the greatest evil in the world is created by nobodies, evil committed by men without motives, without convictions and demonic wills. By human beings who refuse to be persons. In refusing to be a person, Eichmann, surrendered the very thing that defined him as a human being. That thing being his ability to think for himself! Since he gave up this ability, he wasn’t capable of making moral judgements any more. This inability to think enabled many ordinary people like him, to commit evil deeds on a big scale. At the end of the film she expresses her hope that thinking will give people the strength and courage to prevent catastrophes in the rare moments when the chips are down”. The current war, inspired by the Left’s Feminist ideology, between the sexes seems to be a modern example of a rare moment that Hannah refers to in the movie. Since women have been “liberated from their aprons and their kitchens” how are we going to use our free will and our thinking ability to prevent catastrophes like the human species driving itself out and getting the order of things as God originally designed it, back on track for future generations to maintain? This blog contains a lot of the ammo…

“I admire your ability to come up with great questions such as these, Guy! I look forward to reading how you’re going to use our responses later.”

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2702. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Why


Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. Avoiding the wrongs described in earlier posts and below tend to satisfy husband with himself. As wife keeps husband satisfied on home matters, he has less interest to be out searching. By focusing on only two objectives, she can build a daily process that tends to keep hubby faithful. 1) She keeps him satisfied with her and who she is to him. 2) She keeps him satisfied that living with her beats his other options. Guaranteed to prevent cheating? Nope, but it reduces the odds magnificently and emotional infidelity even more.

Here are some more female actions that work contrary to a husband’s expectations.

  • Belittling, criticizing, or condemning who he is or isn’t, what he does or doesn’t do, or why he’s unable to earn her gratitude makes her unlikeable as mate and suspicious of her loyalty to him.
  • Loss of her likeability drives a man to find someone more likeable. It’s proportional. The more unlikeable she becomes, the more he yearns for someone more likeable and newly loyal. It’s the most satisfying outlet to restore satisfaction with himself for living his life with her.
  • Trying too hard to please him or not to fail in their relationship, she doesn’t stand up for herself and loses his respect. She appears unlikeable. Finding the right balance of respect and trust that satisfies mutual likeability is one of her greatest marital obligations.
  • Doubt expressed about his loyalty to her, children, or their relationship casts her doubt on his likeability. Seeing himself viewed as unlikeable interrupts or casts doubt on his satisfaction with himself living with her.
  • He presumes from her complaints that he’s somehow responsible or she wouldn’t be complaining; she would take care of it. Or, perhaps, she complains about something in which he has no interest. He reads it that she doesn’t understand him, seeks to relieve her tensions, or makes herself feel good by unloading her multitude of thoughts. It confuses him, leaves him ignorant of what to do, because he can’t read her feelings in the way she reads his.
  • Husband sees wife as jealous or envious of other women. When her distrust of his loyalty is obvious, it reduces her likeability.
  • Husband and wife differ on what’s said and what’s intended versus what’s heard and what’s taken to heart. Women prefer full disclosure about matters of mutual interest, but husband’s interest is much more narrow and it frustrates her. Gratitude is the mother of female happiness, but frustration is the father of female determination to make things different, which causes wives to change or seek to change him, either of which disappoints a husband.
  • Her love of him is a major ingredient for holding her tightly in marriage. However, it’s never enough for him. Satisfaction with himself is more important than her love. The more she depends entirely on words rather than actions about her committed love, the less impressive or convincing is her likeability.

She has both an instinctive and intuitive ability to detect her man’s inner feelings and know how to alter them, how to convert dissatisfaction to satisfaction with her and their life together.

And if she says ‘why’? He isn’t worth it. Why should I do all the work? What about me and my needs? Well, if he isn’t worth it, she vetted him poorly or she treated him such that he or she or both have become less likeable.

Moreover, which of her needs outweigh keeping her man? As she changes to satisfy herself, she becomes a woman he did not marry. Men don’t change after marriage, but women mistakenly expect they can make it happen. Women change after marriage, although men expect that they won’t.

By keeping him satisfied with her and living together and without his even thinking about it, he concludes that he’s satisfied with himself in marriage, which confirms that his decision to propose they marry was the right thing to do. He also concludes that living with her is superior to living by himself or with someone else. It discourages his thoughts of cheating. His conclusions result from her actions more than her words about loving him.

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2700. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — What


Q. What should wives consider to keep husband faithful?

A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why? Two great unknowns float within marriages of all sizes and shapes. 1) By marrying, she expects a multitude of marital blessings, benefits, and improvements, and thinks that he is the same. Not so! He expects to be satisfied with having married her, and everything has to fit under that umbrella. 2) Men are born with the primal urge to spread their seed without fear of consequence, which translates for wives to understand that husbands yearn to conquer other women until and unless they commit themselves to evasion in honor of their wife. How does she do that?

The most successful wives are likeable to their husbands, and they learn to bridge most of these seven natural divides that exist within a relationship.

  1. Contrary to woman-think, a husband considers himself responsible for the success of his marriage. She runs the show, but he considers himself the final arbiter about success and failure. When he proposed, he assumed responsibility. He never plans to fail at anything he undertakes and only by accepting responsibility can he maximize his ability to prevent failure.
  2. Also contrary to woman-think, his judgment about success or failure rests on his determination that he’s either satisfied or dissatisfied living with her and with himself.
  3. This is man-think. A wife’s complaints mean that it’s husband’s fault, and he should fix it. If he can he does; if he can’t then he’s dissatisfied with himself. As her unfixable complaints accumulate, dissatisfaction with himself makes her less likeable and living with her less satisfying. Consequently, wives who frequently complain weaken their own likeability, which opens husband’s eyes as to what lies outside their home.
  4. A man doesn’t love the same way as women do. His emotional and motivational forces differ greatly. His love is based on pleasing himself by pleasing her, having her as his close possession, finding self-admiration for his work effort on her behalf, and satisfying himself with the process of life that includes her either imagined or deeply embedded with him. IOW, she finds love in her heart and doesn’t question the specifics. He finds love in his mind after concluding she’s so appealing and likeable that his efforts on her behalf satisfy him more than he expects with other women.
  5. Both sexes are born to get their way, which stimulates competition at which men are naturally expert. However, men will not compete with their own woman. They rely on physicality or the pressures of dominance to win. Or, they withdraw to avoid losing to their mate. Losing to the weaker sex is to be avoided, and it becomes habitual in boyhood.
  6. The smarter girls and young women learn best that they can get their way by cooperating to get their way in future affairs rather than insisting on getting their way in the present. By not learning that lesson, some wives do wrong things that corrupt present life for their man, and it makes wives less likeable.
  7. Suffering anger, disappointment, and frustration of not getting her way in matters of the heart, a woman finds her marriage in need of new management, even though she’s the only manager available. Men don’t know how and find little interest in trying. To a man, he’s either in a relationship or not; he sees little wrong except as he’s dissatisfied with her, living with her, or himself for having married her.

Wives are the key to making their man faithful. He either learns to honor her above all others, or he likely hunts for other attractions.

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2686. Tradeoffs in Marriage


Not enough attention is paid to marital benefits that arise from tradeoffs that tend to settle into habits. By paying too much attention to equalizing matters or his not returning her love, wives tend to get caught up in pop culture mistakes that divide rather than unify. Examples: a) Men are to blame for problems that women carry into marriage. b) Husbands do nothing to help or better manage disruptions that wives identify. c) Husbands should carry an equal load in housekeeping and childcare functions. d) Home and family are heavier responsibilities than women should have to endure.

The following tradeoffs tend to settle marital issues before they arise. More credit is due as each ounce of prevention works better than a pound of cure.

  1. Her being cherished makes up for his being boss.
  2. She expects him to listen to her endless chatter, he expects her to accept his capricious interest in quickie sex.
  3. Husbands need opportunity to just think, wives need opportunity to just talk.
  4. If she expects romance, he accepts it as foreplay.
  5. He sees sex as intercourse measured in orgasms, she sees sex as foreplay, intercourse, and afterplay measured in intimacy.
  6. His being admired makes up for her harping about little things.
  7. She expects intimacy in sex to satisfy her. He expects to prove his prowess and satisfy himself.

Unless one side tries to find imbalance or inequality in them, such tradeoffs tend to stabilize and unify rather than separate.

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Blog 2685 — Female Standards — 01


Boldness reduces discomfort. If a woman learns to stretch it into standards that she lives by, she can develop her future as she desires it. Her life is more up to her than even a man’s presence in her life.

Many gals ask how to get dating off on the right foot. How to react when they are approached or hit on. The following is my favorite. I offer it for the impact on the thoughts of a man when surprised by woman-think, especially when boldness enshrouds her imagination and female pride. Encounters are seldom neutral when the gal takes charge. See the bullets below.

We all avoid acting uncomfortable. But surprise men with female discomfort shrouded in boldness, and it enables a women to take charge of the man or men present. That is, shock a man awake by her determination to be female, feminine, and different from men. Anyway, here’s my favorite standard of a woman forgetting her discomfort to spill it boldly into a man’s face.

SITUATION. A man approaches, acquaintance or newbie, and they begin to chat. Natural, neutral, innocent. She smiles as if he’s likeable and responds respectfully to his chatter. No signs of her judging him as suitable or unsuitable. All men are suitable until they prove otherwise; it’s one of her standards.

At his first mention of sex, direct or indirect, she stops him and responds with this. “Listen, I put my sex life to sleep and now await Prince Charming to awake me as a woman. Talking, kissing, or fondling will not wake me. See you later.” She quietly, respectfully, and politely leaves him to his thoughts. (She departs, because he’s now on defense and would likely begin to argue that he can talk, kiss, or fondle her awake. It makes it awkward, because she’d have to insult him to stop his determination to recover his self-respect or save face.)

  • It’s shock and awe time. She departs and leaves him challenged to try again or drop the encounter as not worth whatever it would take to recover.
  • It offends his self-image; he thought he was better at meeting someone. It also puts him to thinking, wondering, speculating. How he did wrong or could have done better? He’s no longer in charge; how does he recover? Or does he want to?
  • He can save face by admitting she’s wasn’t worth it anyway. Probably 80% of guys would take that comfortable way out. She thinks: Can’t stand up to the weaker sex? What kind of man is he? I don’t have to waste time on him. If I’m not worth a strong pursuit, if he’s so easily discouraged, he couldn’t be much of a man for me.
  • She’s unique, a virtue difficult to earn in today’s marketplace. It stirs his thoughts and may keep them stirred for quite awhile. Prince Charming? Who’s that? What could he have that I don’t? She think she’s a fairy princess or something? She’s different alright, but how do I get next to her?
  • She’s mysterious. What kind of woman is she? How does she expect to gain my ever loving attention by walking away? What else has she to offer beyond what I saw? What would it take to bed her sometime soon? How do I find out what her Prince Charming looks like and promises? Can I beat his time before he shows up?
  • She’s determined, knows who she is, and intends to shape her life her way—or at least it appears that way and men believe what they figure it out better than anything she tells them. If talking, kissing, and fondling won’t wake her, what else must Prince Charming have, do, and is expected to do?
  • He tells his buddies about it in ways that reflect good on him. Then he wonders if he gave her a raw deal by under estimating her potential as good woman.

Imposing her standard immediately puts her in charge and guys have no alternative but to forget her (I guess at 80%) to save face or try harder (20%) with a whole new approach. The 80% were only after sex and lost interest in her, which means they are not good enough for her. The 20% that develops a strong pursuit in spite of her standard are good candidates for a relationship. Thus, her discomfort uplifted with boldness separates the unqualified from the possibles with just a few words.

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2684. Answers That Women Look For — 03


Previous Q&A for easy reference.

  1. Why do men avoid marriage? [See 2676]
  2. What makes a husband dissatisfied with himself? [See 2676]
  3. Do men consider the wife to be responsible to keep their marriage together? [See 2676]
  4. Why do husbands cheat? [See 2677]

 Q. If the sexes are so different at birth, how are they alike? [2684]

A. The deeper I go into male/female subject matter, the more it makes sense that the sexes differ in so many ways. The subject here is a spot we’ve not visited previously, how the sexes are alike.

Responsibility. Being individuals, we inherit the responsibility for our self-development and how we turn out. We can’t take care and develop ourselves unless we start by taking responsibility for every facet of life that we can control or influence. How we decide to carry, share, revitalize, or dispose of responsibility is the most awesome and challenging function we call living. (By aborting self-responsibility, some people cripple their lives—e.g., wives won’t stand up for themselves for fear of losing their man.)

Motivation. Self-interest drives the motivation bus. Everyone is primarily motivated to pursue their self-interest. It develops subconsciously and operates in background to keep individuals up to date as life progresses. It shapes who they are and what they are after.

Free will. Each individual is blessed with free will to pursue self-interest. It helps get their way in life’s decisions. Until, that is, most individuals decide to somewhat amend free will in order to adjust and improve their way of life with others, especially individuals; e.g., a wife yields to hubby on present-day matters, so she can shape the future to match her expectations. Yielding free will in certain instances, however, does not make one less responsible for their life. It’s just a trade off to enhance whatever life a person seeks to develop for the situation, aka modifying self-interest.

Get their way. Individuals are driven to get their way as evidenced early by infants seeking comfort and toddlers battling competitors. It makes competition the most fundamental law of interacting individually. Except as we defer by choice or force, we are always in competition with others of both sexes. We learn as a small child the need to either fight to get our way, negotiate agreement, yield to someone else by choice, or be forced to yield to someone else (mom’s rule, big brother, and a girl says ‘no’ come to mind). Exception: Girls learn early in life they can get their way more effectively by cooperating rather than competing, which teaches and enables women to get their way with men much more easily than with other females.

Self-development. We each are born with an unconscious motivation to develop ourselves as unique individuals. It’s visible as early as toddlerhood and continues throughout life. Consequently, we get what we motivate ourselves to get out of life, and the best results—especially by tweens and teens—come from accepting and fulfilling the responsibility of mature adults. To the extent people ignore or dodge responsibility for themselves, they cripple and possibly shorten their lives. Once children pass puberty, they absorb an attitude of being close enough to adulthood to act like adults. Their maturity level, however, is proportional to the sense of adult responsibility tweens developed before puberty and teens exhibit in the adolescent years.

Satisfaction. Both sexes use internal signals that whatever they have been doing is completed, and they are free to move on to something else. Self-satisfaction triggers some new motivation to keep us busy at satisfying ourselves. The sexes begin to differ here. Men work in spurts and find satisfaction in accomplishments. Women work continuously, and find satisfaction in continued dedication to their self-importance and self-defined missions in life. Consequently, men pay more specific attention to satisfaction than do women; in fact satisfaction governs a man’s life much as love governs a woman’s.

Compatible. Both sexes are born to be compatible with the opposite sex. Its more ability than guarantee for individuals, and it thus requires mutual effort and dedication.

If the sexes were only alike except for reproductive systems, humans would have made themselves extinct long ago. They wouldn’t be able to stand an opposite sex someone so much like them; too much likeness uncovers both excess boredom and keener competition. It’s our gender differences that make our lives compatible, enjoyable, successful, and worthy of replication.

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2683. Magnolia Shines Again


NOTE: Born hard-headed to deal with men and soft-hearted to live the good life, some women never find the balance that Magnolia describes below. She uses both to promote her life’s agenda to the max. I post it as a good read for everyone and written so well and clearly that it shows respect for every reader. Thank you, Magnolia.

——

Dear Femme,

I don’t mind talking about it. That was a few years ago. It wasn’t with my husband. That relationship ran its course. It was four years ago, around the time that I got acquainted with this blog. Reading it helped me wise up very quickly. My ex was a very fine man, and we had discussed marriage. He wasn’t quite ready, though. He wasn’t sure about marriage at that moment. He was more like, “At some point.” He wasn’t sure he wanted children and I’m sure I do. He’d had some financial setbacks due to a divorce and wanted a prenup. That didn’t sit well with me at all. I sensed that something was wrong and confirmed it by reading this blog. I wasn’t about to become the seller to him or any man (It was a long term relationship and we had become sexually involved by then). As Sir Guy says, recovery is everything.

Another thing that Sir Guy says is that men really protect their assets and that we should do the same. At the time I was getting ready to move to the city where I live now, a few hours away. I did and things ended.

I think that it’s important for women to make the right choices in life. Sir Guy encourages women to cling to religion and morality in order to brighten their future. This blog helped me get back to my roots. It was a fairly easy transition back.

When I moved to town I immediately looked for a church and became a member. Now, almost four years later, I am married to someone who shares the same goals as me (to work in the ministry at church, etc.), pursued me like crazy from day one and showed that he wanted to make himself worthy of me, wants children as well, and never, ever asked for a prenup. On the contrary, he said that everything that is his, is mine (house, everything). He never asked for sex either since we’re committed Christians. That was reserved for marriage. His love for me is so special, so sacrificial and he continually demonstrates it. I’m amazed by it and love him so much for it. I love my husband so much and I’m so grateful for him!

I’m glad that things didn’t work out with my ex. I’m much happier and better off now. I wasn’t where I needed to be with God before. As I said, my ex was just protecting his assets and wouldn’t budge, as Sir Guy says that men do. I decided to do the same and not budge at all and came out on top.

I thank God for Sir Guy and this blog.

Hope this helps somebody. Many blessings!

Magnolia

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