Her Highness CartieB, with questions at post 2808, inspired this series in four-parts: compatible, purpose, love, and sex — i.e., posts 2809-2812.
SEX DRIVE. The sexes are generally born as described below. However, individuals modify and intensify their lives variously by lessons learned growing up, sometimes to the point of losing their sexual identity.
Both sexes are born to get their way associating with others. Women are born to recognize very early in life that they have a valuable birthright that men will honor when a woman respects herself deliberately, sufficiently, and defensively against penile penetration the first time. The longer she delays it with each man, the more respect she earns, and more respect fuels a man’s love and devotion.
That birthright difference enables women to get their way with men who are stronger, dominant, and intent on conquest. Discretion to participate sexually belongs to each woman, and she’s adequately prepared from birth to both earn and capitalize on success.
Her side of the “when to yield” puzzle looks like this. Five natural motivational forces energize sex in the woman’s world:
- Born with a physiological urge to nurture, it triggers the urge to procreate.
- She has a psychological imperative to assuage the wants of herself or needs of someone else that stimulate her to copulate.
- Possessing a primal need of self-importance, it ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women as a candidate for mating. (She empowers herself by negotiating sex such that she earns her own uniqueness and the respect of men or man; the latter enables development of a man’s love and devotion.)
- She comprehends the worth of sexually yielding to each man, especially the uniqueness and value of their first sexual encounter together. (Her primal acceptability of conquest earns a man the privilege that she cooperate with him and his ambitions.)
- She needs intimacy, and it is a prime motivator for yielding. Her nature craves it; she can almost never get enough. Especially when her spirits are down, which is quite often. (Intimate touching, fondling, caressing, and sweet words to enhance body closeness fuel a woman’s willingness, desire, and free will, which makes it easier to continue deeper into the process that pleases her, her partner, or to even make unanticipated mistakes.)
Those natural female interests enable women to recognize the male sex drive as different. She sees men energized more urgently, much harder to satisfy in quantity, and more easily satisfied in quality. Such perception empowers women to utilize sex for bonding, generating compatibility, and competing with other women. (Neither promiscuity nor orgasmic pleasure are natural motivators for the female gender. Both arise from lessons learned in life and are often used to override the five hormonal urges cited above.)
Primal motivational urges energize five versions of the male sex drive. These bring sex proactively into a man’s world:
- His interest in sex brings females onto the playing field.
- He has a life-long physiological urge to copulate with every female he finds attractive. He’s willing to pay a very high price but only to conquer and not for more. The more attractive she is to him, the higher the price he will pay for conquest only. Sex does not bond him, but conquest separates women into two classes. (To willingly and assertively pay the ultimate price of his freedom, he needs more; sex isn’t enough. He seeks the right woman who satisfies him with himself and he identifies as unique, feminine, and so virtuous not even he can achieve penetration the first time. IOW, she’s so hard to get, all his competitor males must also have missed out.)
- He has an instinctive and competitive urge to outdo and outshine other men. In response, he seeks to conquer women that other men can’t, enable bragging rights by doing so, and add boaster’s value to virginity.
- He possesses a steadfast and competitive ambition for frequent and convenient access to sex, for which he’s willing to pay the ultimate price. If, that is, he figures he can satisfy himself living with her better than living by himself or someone else.
- He has an instinctive craving to do something pleasurable with each erection, and instinct pushes him toward penile penetration of a vagina. (Penetration completes his conquest. Beyond his penetration and for subsequent sexual events, however, he’s just another sexual performer—good, poor, wasteful, selfish, indifferent. Orgasm is not a prime motivator of men. Pleasurable and rewarding, yes, but not a driving force until it is about to arrive as expected in a moment of orgiastic glory after penetration and as the result of his self-acknowledged excellent performance up to that moment.)
Those primal sex urges combine to make men compete with other males for females and compete with females for conquest—but for little else afterward with conquered women. After conquest, a man expects cooperation and thus refuses to compete; he will find a way out or avoid competing with a conquered woman.
Why? Conquest changes their relationship dramatically. He uses his persuasive interest achieving conquest, in ‘buying her’. IOW, he pays whatever price she demands. Job’s done; she’s his. Afterward she belongs to him, and he expects cooperation. Sex with her doesn’t bond him, and so neither her love nor sex will hold him. He’s now free to pursue others. He may lose significant arguments to her. So why take the risk of her winning and then losing the upper hand won with conquest? Men are not dumb; they only seem to be that way, because women don’t understand the male nature as men are born.
Even though born to be compatible as mates, the sexes differ greatly on matters of purpose, love, and sex. Society and life in it are as peaceful and satisfying as both sexes live according to their nature, the way they are born. Things start to fall apart, when the sexes begin for whatever reason to act like the opposite sex and thus betray their own nature.
In that case (and more follows tomorrow), women lose dominance of cultural values, standards, and expectations. Men run society according to male dominated and female-unfriendly values, standards, and expectations. Neither sex appreciates the other very much, blame spurs anger, anxieties spread, couples separate, and children self-develop to tunes played by the quarrelsome tongues of disrespectful parents, teachers, and adults.