Now, ladies, in all likelihood you expect some rules in this series. There are five rules but not what you probably think. And this isn’t even step one yet.
1) Make yourself into the good, feminine, and exciting woman a man wants to pursue. Then, calm your infatuation and stay out of his way so he can make himself worthy of you. 2) Keep yourself so attractive and unique relative to other women, especially in his presence, that he would not think of chasing someone else. 3) Remain chaste without explaining yourself, until you fall back on virtual virginity as your strategy. You’re ahead in the game, when he wants you more than sex with you. You will know that when his devotion appears, pleasing himself by pleasing you. 4) Be patient, don’t inquire about his love of you or seek to improve on whatever the relationship evolves into; it’s his game to play, and he does it best by doing what he thinks it takes to keep from losing you. 5) Let the big things like love and affection fall into place naturally. Avoid, prevent, and eliminate the little things such as irritants, nags, pleadings, offenses, and seeds of dispute.
A woman’s mindset determines her attitude, which governs her behavior in the presence of the man whose heart she hopes to win. Modern women have soured mindsets, which I hope to sweeten in ten steps. (Men are no better off, but this isn’t their story.)
Women have the general picture of winning a man’s heart. However, they have lost or forgotten many of the critical details that make it work to the advantage of girls and women. Much of it will contradict what women have thought for years, because women have too long ignored the congenital nature of both sexes.
Pushed to the brink by undeserved blame, modern men focus on using women for personal satisfaction with sex as major theme—conquest, booty, porn, date rape, wham bam, one-night stands, love ‘em and leave ‘em, dump and go, hook up but look up the next. The inborn nature of men has long been disguised behind the misconception of feminist propaganda and misapplication of blame. Consequently, women have fallen victim of political nonsense that causes breakup of families and burdens women much more than do men.
Fewer and fewer marriages last. Consequently, men get what they want with little obligation, and women are unable to fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. Misguided women have detrained men from even wanting to help females achieve their hopes and dreams.
Regrettable, but it accurately portrays America in the hands of men as enemies of women’s expectations and goals in life. The immediate pleasure of sex has been elevated above the better things in life. Which are the deferred pleasures of compatible, comfortable, and companionable relationships with long range marital promise for women and rewarding satisfaction for men as they associate with women and children.
Where is the breakdown? Lack of respect, males for females. First, females don’t doggedly guard their supremely valuable sexual assets. Men would never yield such valuable assets except for a great price, never give it away for little or nothing. Anyone that dumb doesn’t deserve masculine respect. Second, men don’t take well to undeserved blame by feminists.
Lack of respect, females for males. Led by feminist thought, women blame men for the ills of female lives. Blame slaughters respect over time. Both society and the culture are now heavily influenced by mutual lack of respect.
Neither sex seems to realize that the male nature is shaped this way. Men do not love what they can’t or don’t respect. So, no respect by men results in no love of women. No love, no bonding. It is not universal yet, but it is trending that way.
Without the bonding of mutual love, how long can a couple last? A substitute my help—devotion—and it may be easier to achieve, sustain, and uplift a man’s love. I describe later how it originates.
Winning a man’s heart is actually done at this long-running battle. He’s not all that interested in her without first sex together, but she has to change that and inspire him to prioritize her over conquest. It is the foundation of his devotion and love, and the toughest job a woman faces to generate a lifetime marriage.
She governs the way to a man’s heart by making her appearance and behavior attractive to him. No guarantee because so much life remains to be lived. But the successful process eventually motivates him to admirably stride down the middle of the road of marital bliss with her more than sex on his mind. This series describes the complex process of how a woman builds success, how she wins the battle of two conquerors.
Before we proceed, however, heads up, ladies. This is the most important thing you will read in this series. You can change to promote your interest; he cannot or will not change except to facilitate conquest. You cannot purposely and proactively capture a man’s heart. He gives it up to you, because of what he figures out from your attractiveness and actions, what you don’t do with your mouth, and what promise you hold for brightening his current life with convenience, comfort, and frequent sex. Forget virginity although great to have, forget conquest although delaying it will be your greatest battle of the sexes, and forget entrapment. Even if it works now, it will fail you somewhere down the marital road.
Nice, quiet, feminine mystique, female modesty, and monogamous spirit embellished with genuine sincerity enables you best to peacefully hold off his drive for conquest until he is captivated by you as more promising as mate than as conquest. He has to want you more than sex; which is your toughest job. Sex may capture but it does not hold a man; only you can do that.
The woman’s toughest principle to follow is the one from just above, “what you don’t do with your mouth.” Three things: 1) Don’t do fellatio. It reinforces his male dominance, expectations about submitting to his whims, and stops the earning of his respect. And respect is a foundational requirement of masculine love. 2) Don’t do ‘full disclosure’ or endlessly talk about little things, because it dissolves feminine dignity into juvenile pretension. 3) Don’t explain yourself or complain about things that happen or that you don’t like. Keep your opinions to yourself. Opinions that reflect adversely on you are far more numerous and likely to be different from his. The male nature is wired to presume a man’s opinions superior to women. If you sound dumb he’s gone; if you’re right, he’s unimpressed and may take offense that you are smarter than he, and then he’s gone.
Revere your independence. As you can keep him guessing about you, you keep his curiosity up, imagination working, and his interest fired up. The less you say, the more composed, upbeat, encouraging but mysterious you remain all the time. It improves the odds his appreciation will grow of who and what you are beyond what sex brings into his life. His appreciation has to grow although your attractiveness jumpstarts it, and you have to sustain it.
Forget using the words, “I love you.” You can say it, but it gains you little. The words impress and make you feel good but not him; he doesn’t base his decisions on what you say, and so the words provide you no advantage for selling yourself—unless he’s about to bail out because he thinks you have no interest in him. But, just say it once or twice; it’s easy to overdo and make you look desperate. In fact, not using that phrase generates highly desirable mystery in you. (OTOH, if he easily spouts it out, red flag, as he’s likely being disingenuous or lying to facilitate conquest.)
The one most fearful of losing the other usually loses in the long run. So, show no fear about losing him; if he threatens, hold the door open, call his bluff. If he leaves, you are blessed by finding it out then rather than later.
Also, until he actually convinces himself that he loves you—a lengthy process—he takes having to say it on your pressure or request as deep commitment or perhaps obligation to marry. A man is reluctant to take that step until he is certain. That can take months or even years, which makes devotion to you an easier accomplishment than gaining his love (explained later).
His process that wins his heart for you eventually motivates him to admirably stride down the middle of the road of marital bliss. No guarantee of what follows because so much life remains to be lived.
Step 01 is next.