2347. Tribute to the Female Nature — 03: Blame

I like to do problem solving work. But this time, no. I’m just going to dump a major relationship problem in your lap. Do with it as you please and let me know if you see improvement in your relationships with your man, children, and workplace associates.

The problem ID? Too much blame going around. A woman’s blame drives her man away. Love and blame are mutually exclusive and love is the work of woman, blame is the work of conscience and God.

In other people and yourself, treat disregard, unconcern, faults, and incompetencies as accidents of Nature. It happens, and you are not responsible to correct everyone, even if they do make your life miserable. You chose or birthed those that cause you the most trouble, so find another way to lift your misery. Training before is far superior to blaming after the fact. Humans ain’t perfect, which is why recovery is everything.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter

2346. Tribute to the Female Nature — 02: Tame Men

Men are not as impervious to female influence as they act and women react. Over time each man reflects what he’s learned from the women in his life, just as long as those women don’t remind him of it.

Whether about gender or an individual, you ladies know the shortcomings of men and how you wish they were different. They will be when you make yourself different from those who can’t keep a husband today. One on one and one at a time. It takes one woman to tame one man to her wishes, hopes, and dreams. You were prepared at birth, but many must relearn how to use it.

God, Nature, and hormones make woman very capable and consequently make women the superior gender. Each is the irresistible force facing off against the immovable object. But the force is born with the advantage: She CAN withhold sex to encourage the immovable object toward marriage instead of yielding and making marriage unnecessary to satisfy his conquering spirit. Provided, of course, that marriage rather than sexual pleasure and him rather than someone else is what she’s truly after.

It starts the moment they meet. The kickoff is her feminine more than sexual attractiveness. The latter attracts every man; the former attracts men more interested in her than just sex. Her qualifications to lead one or more of those men into a successful relationship continues for life.

Men seek to marry a virtuous woman. Virtue is whatever quality a particular man admires. Some men take a very long time to find ways to admire a woman. In the meantime, each woman is well prepared from inborn traits and skills to convert his blank time into progress for her.

It works with one woman and one man. You are born more than capable to outperform any man at the relationship but not the societal level; at the emotional but not the physical level; in your home but not in public; with domestic principles, values, and standards but not social impulse and displays of power; with indirectness but not directness; with patience to outlast rather than resolve problems immediately; with ability to outsmart rather than manipulate; with premarital competition instead of cooperation; with marital cooperation instead of competition; with more concern for the future than the present; with deferred rather than immediate gratification; with relationship management skills rather than being led by a nose ring; at compromising rather than fighting out differences; with love rather than vengeance; with silence to avoid uproars; with acceptance of faults to avoid blame; with more loyalty to one person than interest tied to others; in marriage more than shack up; in stopping at resisting and resenting rather than retaliating; in devotion to husband, self, and his job over home and family; with compassion for the weak more than respect of the powerful; at deferring to the powerful to ensure good relations with and for your provider/protector; at liking yourself in spite of temporary messages to the contrary; in fulfilling responsibility for others instead of just self, and through learning to use sex before and enjoy it after marriage and not vice versa.

Tomorrow, I tackle the blame game.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, marriage, sex differences

2345. Tribute to Female Nature — 01: Chocolate Pays

I was asked why I give so much chocolate to women, many that I don’t know.

Single Hershey bars given to clerks, friends, dental hygienists, favorite restaurant servers, greeters, neighbors, wives, singles, grandmothers, secretaries, doctors’ nurses, house cleaners, and my optometrist every visit. If I anticipate the encounter, it’s an occasion for chocolate bar in a lunch bag. (Real men don’t do gift bags and tissues with femmy touches.)

A bag of Hershey Miniatures frequently goes to businesses I visit for whatever reason to be placed in the break room with this disclaimer: Guys get none unless the gals say so, ‘cause I don’t do chocolate for men. (Usually presented in a Wal-Mart plastic bag.)

First, teasing women—and giving chocolate for no reason—makes their prettiness shine brighter. Second, I enjoy trying to make funny the gift-giving encounter. Both keep me reminded of my duty. Third, I realize that God gave chocolate to men—not to women—so that men could get women to pay attention to them.

Fourth, and the most compelling reason and which I’ve made a duty, it’s my tribute to women. I was dumb as an under-inflated tire for my first 70 years. This century I educated myself on what wonderful creatures God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize mostly for the benefit of men. Who, of course as you ladies know, may have a slight clue but fall far short on appreciation, affection, and understanding of female needs, wants, and expectations.

So much for me and chocolate. Why the tribute? So few recognize women as the superior gender. How they make civilization work and stabilize society in the face of the dominant gender working against peaceful accommodation. How they prevent the enslavement of women and children, when political conditions enable it as in the U.S.

Tomorrow we’ll examine the male nature that needs female help to keep Western civilization on track.


Filed under Culture & Politics, Dear daughter

2344. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 100

A threat to a constitutional freedom actually denies that freedom, because political elitists will take advantage to advance their freedom-denying agenda. Thus, denial of one freedom is root for denial of all.

The female nature makes women want to smile. They seek a reason if none is evident. If a woman CAN’T automatically smile in a friendly manner at each of the people she knows, then she lacks self-respect as their equal. She judges who they are before she smiles. If a woman WON’T warmly smile at meeting other people without judging who they are, it means she lacks self-respect as their equal. Regardless of who’s superior or inferior in her thoughts, friendly smiles emanate naturally from self-respect known to be equal to that of others. She’s made that way; self-respect arises out of her natural foundation of self-love.

The subject is anti-political correctness. People resent being told how they must act. They find ways to resist the expectations of people who evidently don’t respect them in the first place.

A predominant majority of people accept and eventually find reasons to conform to laws and social norms when they are free to choose. They satisfy themselves in concert with others whom they trust to be like minded, because of mutual trust to live together amiably and mutual respect to live by their conscience. Think of all the drivers you trust and respect on the road. Unfortunately, cultural norms now shift away from trusting individual to do what’s best for themselves. Whether chicken or egg, political elitists are convinced they know what’s best for you and me, which enables them to tell us all how we should act and feel. Political correctness is the sidewalk version used by those with little or no relationship polish or charm.

A friend asked me to confirm that the absence of love leads to alcoholism. Yes, for women that are not satisfied with the love they receive in childhood. The same cause and effect works for men but regarding respect rather than love. (Incidentally, I know nothing about alcoholism as a disease. I consider addiction to be alcoholism, dependence to cause craving, and habit to be precursor and I speak only to the root causes that motivate people to drink excessively in the first place.)

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2343. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 99

Our forefathers sought to marry a virtuous woman, which is most easily translated as masculine admiration of feminine qualities. Modern men seek to marry a fascinating woman, which is most easily translated as sex appeal with her as seller and him as buyer. Virtuous means she’s worth the risk. Fascinating means no risk to him.

A woman can see a man being in love with her by merely imagining and wanting to believe it so badly that small indications of interest or commitment for sex substitute for his devotion. They have first sex together and her bonding confirms that she’s right. However, men are not like that. They neither bond with sex nor need devotion to conquer.

Doesn’t the Manosphere come to mind as the direction in which society trends today? Players abound for sex and go. Cougars thrive proudly. Men disrespect females and dodge responsibility for children. Dating has been corrupted to meet, greet, hook up, and now threesomes of one or both sexes. Men make no investment of self, when sex is available almost without effort.

Men avoid or leave marriage for many reasons including: 1) Fear caused by women using it to trap and financially rape husbands. 2) The female personality has turned untenable for living together; wife blames husband and his respect of her dissolves. 3) Wife turns out to be someone other than the person and personality he married. 4) Female habits birthed in feminist thought turn women unacceptable for permanent mating; men refuse to put up with her s***.

Women avoid or leave marriage for many reasons including: 1) Men or husband expects to come before her career plans. 2) Men expect to come before children of single moms. 3) Men lack sense of family responsibility. 4) Husband is emotionally unsuited to find and keep a job. 5) Lure of other females induces husband to cheat and divide his loyalty. 6) Husband’s inattention to wife’s needs. 7) Lure of men more attractive for showing affection and with apparent ability to better fulfill wife’s needs. 8) Husband turns out to be someone other than the reliable person she anticipated.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, sex differences

2342. Old Age Switcheroo

Ladies, here’s what you face many years down the road. Men and women exchange places. Regarding sexual relations, that is. Other hormones are involved but I simplify for ease of explanation.

The combination of high testosterone and low estrogen brings on horniness and the motivation to conquer attractive females—natural for males. The alternate combination of high estrogen and low testosterone motivates one to be more cautious; that is, make love with a particular person—natural for females. Those different default conditions change as hormonal shifting begins slowly after their sex drives peak.

You know what it’s like now but think of it reversing later, most noticeably after your menopause and his mid-life crisis and into the decades that follow.

Men lose testosterone faster and women lose estrogen faster. The change in ratio of one versus the other shifts their sexual urges accordingly. By late in life, she’s the horny one and he’s interested only if he wants to make love to her because of who she is and what she means to him.

So, ladies, to avoid the discomfort of not seeming to be wanted late in life, train your man now to always want to please you. It’s more of the eternal story. Men become what women turn them into because women have the patience and fortitude to do whatever it takes to keep brightening their future.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, sex differences

2341. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XV

Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint in Teen Girls

This is a follow-on to 2339. Start with toddlers to teach girls how to handle boys and men. Teach them from the earliest to constantly spotlight how the sexes are very different. Teach that life comes in two main sections, before and after marriage, and as the old saying goes: Never the twain shall meet.

Females push on males all the responsibility for initiating, earning, and otherwise selling themselves until their proposal for marriage. When they meet at the altar, it means she bought what he sold, which means that the roles reverse and she has contractually agreed to become seller to his buyer and thus inherits similar responsibilities after marriage.


If moms teach the following to toddlers and pre-teens, they will intuitively carry it into adolescence and adulthood.

  1. Boys get nothing from a girl unless they earn it. Boy wants a piece of her candy, she tells him to run around the house—or jump in that mud puddle—and she will share. Brother wants help with homework, sister says you owe me a banana split and I will collect, right? or else I destroy your bed room! Classmate wants to walk home with her, he carries her books (I recognize the old-schoolness of it, but it sure tamed boys to accept girl-think.)
  2. Boy wants to give girl a ride on his bike; she says walk with me first, push your old bike. Boy wants first kiss and girl says huh, uh; what have you done to deserve it? He asks for first date; she says only if you go to church with me. He wants to go park on lover’s lane; she say’s only if so-and-so go too. He wants to stop after work for drinks; she says huh, uh—coffee is okay though. He tries to talk about sex; she starts talking about marriage.
  3. It discourages females from giving men and boys unearned ‘gifts’ which guys don’t appreciate. And simply asking for something from a female is not earning anything; it’s still a freebie if he gets what he wants with words. (Men know to focus on her ears.) Only actions by males register with them as earning something.
  4. If males aren’t earning female favors of whatever kind, they are not kept in the seller’s role. It’s incumbent on females to train males to meet female expectations or it never happens. Males become satisfied by getting what they want from females without paying a price except for a few words they throw out to see if any click and stick with that chick.
  5. The more easily females accept words as their reason to accept a guy for whatever, the easier it is for guys to learn to lie. It also means that dealing with women with low expectations, men weaken the importance of integrity for honest dealings. They can too easily score with disingenuousness; it’s habitual among players.
  6. Everything is relative. Each sex reacts to the stimuli of the other. A man becomes what a woman desires only when she learns early to act as the buyer until they depart the altar. It enables the mother’s hand that rocks the cradle and rules the world to continue the rocking; it’s done indirectly by teaching toddler(s) how to handle males. Female intuition carries it through the tweens, teens, and into successful family life.
  7. Dealing with males this way also makes inexperienced females more valuable to themselves. It improves their self-image, -like, -confidence, and -control. More control means less depression. Girls get in the habit from toddlerhood of always expecting boys and men to pay some price for female favors of whatever kind.
  8. Making all of that come out to the advantage of females starts with mom and her toddler girl(s).


  • It’s simple, stop what’s gone before. At the altar, he paid his price for all she can provide in care, support, and favors.
  • Now that doesn’t mean she’s his slave or to batted around. It means that before marriage men have to please her, so the one who wins her knows that she’s been positioned to intuitively strive to please him as opposed to his always having to please her.

It’s the natural quid pro quo designed by God, endowed by Nature, and energized by hormones and provides the foundation that makes a couple compatible as mates. She gets her way until they marry.

After that, if he’s devoted and she’s smart, she continues to get her way. If he’s not devoted, she has a hard time ruling the rooster much less ruling the home. Marital success starts in toddlerhood.

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