Not surprisingly, sexual relations affects a man’s mind very differently from the minds of women. We shall look at vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio, and irregular forms as their effects apply to couples living together. (Players and singles are motivated by other interests, and so the following may or may not apply.)
For simplicity, allow me to reduce vaginal intercourse to two kinds as viewed by the female mind. Lovemaking at its most and least satisfying for women.
Most Satisfying. Vaginal intercourse preceded by enough foreplay and followed by intimate afterplay make a love object of a man’s woman, as she recognizes it. If done effectively to meet her expectations, she longs for more. It confirms her importance as mate and gratitude as love object—‘I’m still attractive and he loves me’.
Springing automatically from each urge to merge with his mate, a loving and knowledgeable man demonstrates his devotion, respect, and her worth. Life with her and satisfaction with himself combine to motivate him to do well. He seeks to please her for the sake of satisfying himself that she deserves his best effort doing what he promised her, his love. As his loyal and exclusive love interest, her naked presence energizes him to exploit his responsibility, do his duty and do it well. He recognizes that she alone is qualified to asses his performance. His actions confirm her importance to him, and she admires him for demonstrating it.
So long, that is, as her feedback in no way questions his techniques, competence, or results. Given negative feedback on such sensitive subjects, a man loses interest in his mate and seeks satisfaction elsewhere. If she doesn’t inspire him with her satisfaction, his lovemaking efforts diminish with loss of self-respect and her loyalty to him alone becomes suspect.
The more time he devotes to each event, especially post-coital holding, the more likely he gets better and she appreciates his prowess. His likeability in her eyes for gently playing with her body energizes him to spend more time at it. The more sincerely enjoyable to her, the greater his inspiration to keep her that way. Any lack of her enjoyment drives a man to take short cuts, be more efficient and usually leads to less foreplay, afterplay, and intimate holding.
For the same unselfish reasons, a man performs cunnilingus and reinforces in her mind that he treasures her. His giving of himself out of respect and love to please her is the direct opposite of her giving fellatio, shown below.
Least Satisfying. Not all men are in relationships that inspire and motivate such extensive and satisfying lovemaking. Not all women know how to cultivate that mindset in themselves and their mate. So, let’s ignore any shortened versions of lovemaking and presume vaginal intercourse alone as the only other option that prevails between mates.
For the woman, the least satisfying vaginal intercourse comes when the man pleases himself with little or no regard for pleasing her. Foreplay, afterplay, and intimacy are weak or missing. His duty is to himself and he selfishly fulfills it. Poke, come, and go! If she’s pleasured too, it’s a bonus. The effect on the male mind confirms that she’s useful but not necessary to keep around.
OTOH, the attractions that keep a couple together are enshrouded in the connections, comforts, pleasantries, and compatible practices embedded in the most satisfying version of vaginal intercourse above.
Fellatio and irregular forms of sexual relations reduce women to under appreciated sex objects. Many men come to prefer the symbol of their dominance to providing satisfying vaginal intercourse. That is, fellatio outranks intercourse in the hearts of some men, especially the control-types.
Women victimized by fellatio and irregular forms yearn for but can find little or no manly respect. They become subjects of selfishly inspired male dominance; fellatio confirms a man’s worth as dominator. It is the ultimate confirmation that she’s dominated in matters of importance to her man. Trying to get her way with him, she finds that her ideas and suggestions have less merit than before she gave fellatio.
In law, penetration is sufficient to prove rape. In relationships, penetration of mouth is sufficient to prove dominance. In dominance, those looked down on and made submissive are not respected very highly. Those dominated in marriage face this. Imbalance in mutual respect leads to incompatibility, which leads to a dissatisfied wife and a man made more prone to infidelity.
The minds of both sexes are impacted and shaped by sexual relations. The most satisfying vaginal intercourse satisfies women. The least satisfying for women mostly affects the male ego. Fellatio and other forms turn women into victims of male dominance. Not so much what women do as to the effect it has on the male mind; that of not respecting those they dominate. And a man’s love is first founded on respect, or his love doesn’t develop fully.