2705. Why Are We Here?


Her Highness Lady Penny at post 2696 responded as below to these questions: “Why are we here? What did God design us for and expect us to accomplish in life? Or, if you don’t believe, what has evolutionary development prepared us for? Anything in particular?”

Her exposition shines so brightly that I post it with special recognition.

Guy

——

“Hi Sir Guy,

“I really appreciate the thought provoking questions you ask at the end of this post!

“I thought you and readers might find this dialogue of great interest too as it speaks to the questions you posed: http://www.mindofafox.com/site/the-legend/index.html

“I have contemplated your questions many times before without finding an answer. When I started reading and learning from this Blog however, tentative answers to questions I’ve wondered about started emerging. Including one to your questions.

“We are here to propagate the species. This is what God designed us for. He expects us to maintain the order of things as He designed them originally. Being God, however, He also gave us free will to decide if propagating the species is going to be within the boundaries of a marriage or outside it or if it is going to be an individual option at all. It is in women’s and children’s interest that our species is created and nurtured within a healthy marriage. Men and women have default settings/natures God gave them to live compatibility, as is stated on this blog, with each other. Most women, however, have enabled Feminism to unwittingly brainwash them (in universities, on TVs, etc.) and to distort the natural order of things. E.g. adopting masculine style sexual freedom of sleeping around and resultantly falling pregnant or going to sperm banks and conceiving children in that manner, etc. When humans deviate from the natural order of things as God designed, chaos can be expected and the species can drive itself out as a result.

“In what presently seems like the Darwinian jungle to me where survival of the fittest is the order of the day, it appears to this lady that those that adopt the Feminist mindset (the “fit” ones) are trying to drive out those that are against it (the “weak” ones) and those that are for God (the “weak” ones). Will they succeed? To me, the answer to that question depends on what the superior sex as a collective chooses to do with their free will… In the film, Hannah Arendt, Guy recommended to us in post 2363, Hannah says “the greatest evil in the world is created by nobodies, evil committed by men without motives, without convictions and demonic wills. By human beings who refuse to be persons. In refusing to be a person, Eichmann, surrendered the very thing that defined him as a human being. That thing being his ability to think for himself! Since he gave up this ability, he wasn’t capable of making moral judgements any more. This inability to think enabled many ordinary people like him, to commit evil deeds on a big scale. At the end of the film she expresses her hope that thinking will give people the strength and courage to prevent catastrophes in the rare moments when the chips are down”. The current war, inspired by the Left’s Feminist ideology, between the sexes seems to be a modern example of a rare moment that Hannah refers to in the movie. Since women have been “liberated from their aprons and their kitchens” how are we going to use our free will and our thinking ability to prevent catastrophes like the human species driving itself out and getting the order of things as God originally designed it, back on track for future generations to maintain? This blog contains a lot of the ammo…

“I admire your ability to come up with great questions such as these, Guy! I look forward to reading how you’re going to use our responses later.”

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2704. Secret to Marriage: Putting Wife in Charge


At post 2703 Her Highness SeekandFind triggered this article.

She inquired, “is the secret to marriage, from a woman’s point of view, making her husband feel important at all times, while subtlety maintaining her own self worth?”

My response: Close but not quite.

From the woman’s point of view, the secret to marriage is to do it all herself. Both seek to get their way with the other, but only she has the skill to balance the competition and make their relationship harmonious.

She makes her husband satisfied with himself—neither happy nor important, just satisfied is all he needs—for having chosen her and living with her. Having attained the skill to keep him satisfied with himself, it frees her to use free will and develop the home and family life aimed at fulfilling her girlhood dream.

As long as he’s satisfied living with her, he plays an adjunct involvement role. Even though he’s the ultimate boss, boasting of his ultimacy fades under her gracious charm, quick wit solving present-day problems, and stubbornness at keeping herself focused on brightening the future.

By doing all that, she makes herself important, finds happiness to the extent she does it gratefully, and spreads her love routinely and graciously to confirm her self-worth. It’s all in her nature to exploit, but she has to make their relationship stable and inseparable.

Here are a few more thoughts to help make the secret work for her.

  • Does her importance satisfy him? Not really! It’s what she does with her sense of importance to enhance her abilities and those things that make husband proud to have her.
  • Does showering him with her love satisfy him? Not really! He’s already satisfied; he accepted her love as adequate to ensure her loyalty before he ever proposed. He prefers being taken for granted rather than be inflicted with smother love.
  • Do hints of her admiration satisfy him? Yes, he naturally assumes she admires him. Indirect mentions are all that is needed to confirm it. Trying too hard, such as when he’s depressed or lazy, doesn’t work well. Her motivation appears as effort to uplift him, which he interprets as effort to change him, which he resists and resents.

If he’s not worth her effort, they are not matched well. If she’s not worth his effort, she’s not doing it right.

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2703. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Root Cause


Any mature man worthy of being depended on as a mate has certain traits that make up his worthiness. It’s not what a woman sees on the outside. When screening men, a woman should expect that these convictions exist within.

  • His self-respect exceeds his respect of others until each person earns much more than he originally detects and judges. (Women differ.)
  • He’s committed to successful accomplishments in his life. He expects to achieve what he aims at, and he works and perhaps fights hard to avoid failing or defer failure.
  • He knows he’s already good enough for any woman that will have him as her mate and lover. Consequently, he expects to fittingly sell himself to win a likeable object of his respect, lust, or love.
  • He does things and thinks and worries about physical connections. (Women differ.)
  • A likeable woman remains that as long as he’s satisfied with who she is and what she does. His initial feelings and the respect she earns make her likeable, but his satisfaction rests more on masculine values and expectations than her feelings about him.
  • He judges her by what he thinks. (Women differ.)
  • He seeks self-satisfaction that tends to confirm his admiration as a man. (Women differ.)
  • His prime mission in life is to keep himself satisfied with who he is, what he does, and who he does it with. (Women differ.)

Then, he marries the most likeable woman who earns his respect for who she is and what she does and can do, which are his personal standards for living with someone. IOW, her feelings about him are secondary to his expectations.

Consequently, he marries a woman good enough when they meet at the altar. But does she remain so? Does he remain satisfied with 1) committing himself to his altar-mate? 2) Devoting his life to their future together? 3) Preparing for what he can become with her dedicated to support his life? 4) Promising to brighten her future? It remains to be seen as married life unfolds.

The root cause of husband’s venturing into the cheating game lies here. Wife becomes different than husband expects. She sees him differently once he’s legally obligated. She doesn’t treat him as in courtship. She finds fault with him or his efforts. She spotlights his weaknesses and tries to do something about them. She imposes guilt trying to change him. She nags and criticizes and expects his reactions to favor her expectations. She tries to recover from having not screened him well enough, from having chosen wrongly. In short, she acts childishly to make him appear childish.

Women focus so hard on capturing a husband that they don’t screen adequately or know themselves well enough to be the good wife, defined by husbands as the one he courted and who acts the same before and after marriage.

IOW, he’s not the man she intended or hoped to marry and she intends to improve him, confirm that he’s not worthy of her, or recover the best she can. A little room exists within the character of a husband to permit her ‘recovery’ tactics. But not a lot.

He detects lack of respect, ingratitude, and unwillingness to depend on him. All of which corrupts her likeability and his sense of satisfaction living with her.

The more she becomes different from his bride’s behavior, the more quickly he considers looking elsewhere for the recognition that he thinks he deserves. Wife cheats him of his dignity, self-satisfaction, and consequent self-admiration, and his cheating on her is the most easily recognized method for husband’s recovery, respite, or revenge.

WADWMUFGAO. When wife feels good putting him down, he finds recovery outside the home. Hence, the root cause of husbandly infidelity is wifely dissatisfaction with husband’s inability to live up to her expectations that in all probability changed after the ceremony.

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2702. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The Why


Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. Avoiding the wrongs described in earlier posts and below tend to satisfy husband with himself. As wife keeps husband satisfied on home matters, he has less interest to be out searching. By focusing on only two objectives, she can build a daily process that tends to keep hubby faithful. 1) She keeps him satisfied with her and who she is to him. 2) She keeps him satisfied that living with her beats his other options. Guaranteed to prevent cheating? Nope, but it reduces the odds magnificently and emotional infidelity even more.

Here are some more female actions that work contrary to a husband’s expectations.

  • Belittling, criticizing, or condemning who he is or isn’t, what he does or doesn’t do, or why he’s unable to earn her gratitude makes her unlikeable as mate and suspicious of her loyalty to him.
  • Loss of her likeability drives a man to find someone more likeable. It’s proportional. The more unlikeable she becomes, the more he yearns for someone more likeable and newly loyal. It’s the most satisfying outlet to restore satisfaction with himself for living his life with her.
  • Trying too hard to please him or not to fail in their relationship, she doesn’t stand up for herself and loses his respect. She appears unlikeable. Finding the right balance of respect and trust that satisfies mutual likeability is one of her greatest marital obligations.
  • Doubt expressed about his loyalty to her, children, or their relationship casts her doubt on his likeability. Seeing himself viewed as unlikeable interrupts or casts doubt on his satisfaction with himself living with her.
  • He presumes from her complaints that he’s somehow responsible or she wouldn’t be complaining; she would take care of it. Or, perhaps, she complains about something in which he has no interest. He reads it that she doesn’t understand him, seeks to relieve her tensions, or makes herself feel good by unloading her multitude of thoughts. It confuses him, leaves him ignorant of what to do, because he can’t read her feelings in the way she reads his.
  • Husband sees wife as jealous or envious of other women. When her distrust of his loyalty is obvious, it reduces her likeability.
  • Husband and wife differ on what’s said and what’s intended versus what’s heard and what’s taken to heart. Women prefer full disclosure about matters of mutual interest, but husband’s interest is much more narrow and it frustrates her. Gratitude is the mother of female happiness, but frustration is the father of female determination to make things different, which causes wives to change or seek to change him, either of which disappoints a husband.
  • Her love of him is a major ingredient for holding her tightly in marriage. However, it’s never enough for him. Satisfaction with himself is more important than her love. The more she depends entirely on words rather than actions about her committed love, the less impressive or convincing is her likeability.

She has both an instinctive and intuitive ability to detect her man’s inner feelings and know how to alter them, how to convert dissatisfaction to satisfaction with her and their life together.

And if she says ‘why’? He isn’t worth it. Why should I do all the work? What about me and my needs? Well, if he isn’t worth it, she vetted him poorly or she treated him such that he or she or both have become less likeable.

Moreover, which of her needs outweigh keeping her man? As she changes to satisfy herself, she becomes a woman he did not marry. Men don’t change after marriage, but women mistakenly expect they can make it happen. Women change after marriage, although men expect that they won’t.

By keeping him satisfied with her and living together and without his even thinking about it, he concludes that he’s satisfied with himself in marriage, which confirms that his decision to propose they marry was the right thing to do. He also concludes that living with her is superior to living by himself or with someone else. It discourages his thoughts of cheating. His conclusions result from her actions more than her words about loving him.

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2701. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — The How


Q. What should wives avoid to keep husband at home?

A. The strongest magnets in the marital world are these. Her likeability to him and his likeability to her as he sees it reflected from what she does — more than what she says — to keep him satisfied with himself. Men lack but women possess the relationship expertise to make all that happen. Consequently, wife has to take charge. She has to keep herself likeable to him and show that he’s likeable to her by doing whatever it takes to keep him satisfied with himself. It’s how she runs the marital show.

By maximizing mutual likeability, smarter wives generate the greatest insurance against their man cheating. By following just a few of the ‘wrongs’ described below, less-alert wives may encourage masculine infidelity.

The less-feminine woman can much too easily drive her man to cheat. She doesn’t care or can’t understand how her actions program husband against her interests. Actions and words that wife considers necessary very often register differently with hubby. For example, husband’s reactions to her unsolicited advice, recurring complaints, and constructive criticism cripple her likeability.

The bullets that follow describe what wives do contrary to husbandly interests that adversely impact mutual likeability and initiate husband’s thoughts of another woman. When a man is dissatisfied with his woman, self-satisfaction as a man becomes more important to him than that of a husband. IOW, for example, if wife tends to emasculate him, he looks to restore his self-image as a man rather than as a husband.

Here are some examples that work contrary to a husband’s interests.

  • She loses or never had enough self-gratitude as a woman to make a good wife. She feels undeserving. She finds fault in life and blames others rather than finding gratefulness for who she is and what she has. Mutual likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t respect husband enough for who he is as person, man, husband, friend, lover, and father. She caught him but now considers him to be inadequate, at least partially. She probably could have done better, which curtails her pride in him and reduces her potential to be faithful as he views her loyalty. Her likeability declines.
  • She doesn’t depend on him enough for what he does as provider, protector, producer, fixer-upper, and rescuer when they need a recovery. Thus, she effectively admits that he’s less than necessary and under appreciated. She’s less likeable.
  • Some wives continually complain about far too much. Husbands have one of three reactions: a) What he can fix, he does. b) What he can’t fix, he feels guilty because he can’t relieve his woman’s disappointment. Men don’t accept guilt from someone else and he resents it. c) Her complaints amount to just chatter or gossip that are meaningless to him. By not learning how he reacts to her complaints, she begins to complain about his having too little empathy or paying too little attention to her. New complaints trigger the same reactions as before.
  • She doesn’t express her gratitude enough for how he enhances their life together. She takes him too far down the road that she abhors for herself—she takes him for granted. Men don’t argue against being taken for granted. However, when it morphs into his dissatisfaction with who he is and what he does, her likeability begins to fade.
  • Because she doesn’t get enough attention and affection, he doesn’t live up to her expectations. She thinks he doesn’t deserve a lot of respect, confirmation of her dependence, and her gratitude. Mutual likeability declines.
  • If her expectations change after they marry, she becomes a different woman than the bride he expected to live with. It disappoints a husband and weakens her likeability.
  • She feels denied his attention, affection, and recognition of her contributions and importance. It programs her heart with resentment, resistance, and eventual bitterness. She questions the rightness of husband’s presence in her life. If he detects it, he takes offense, feels dissatisfied, and her likeability shrinks.
  • She begrudges his always getting his way in present-day matters. Her competitive spirit drives her to resent him, even though he’s willing to let her run their relationship as she aims it into the future. Resentment poisons a woman’s likeability.

In short, the heart and mind that governs a wife’s life on behalf of wedded harmony determines how her marriage will proceed and succeed. Husband is in charge of keeping them together as a couple, she’s in charge of making married life worthwhile and satisfying.

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2700. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating — What


Q. What should wives consider to keep husband faithful?

A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why? Two great unknowns float within marriages of all sizes and shapes. 1) By marrying, she expects a multitude of marital blessings, benefits, and improvements, and thinks that he is the same. Not so! He expects to be satisfied with having married her, and everything has to fit under that umbrella. 2) Men are born with the primal urge to spread their seed without fear of consequence, which translates for wives to understand that husbands yearn to conquer other women until and unless they commit themselves to evasion in honor of their wife. How does she do that?

The most successful wives are likeable to their husbands, and they learn to bridge most of these seven natural divides that exist within a relationship.

  1. Contrary to woman-think, a husband considers himself responsible for the success of his marriage. She runs the show, but he considers himself the final arbiter about success and failure. When he proposed, he assumed responsibility. He never plans to fail at anything he undertakes and only by accepting responsibility can he maximize his ability to prevent failure.
  2. Also contrary to woman-think, his judgment about success or failure rests on his determination that he’s either satisfied or dissatisfied living with her and with himself.
  3. This is man-think. A wife’s complaints mean that it’s husband’s fault, and he should fix it. If he can he does; if he can’t then he’s dissatisfied with himself. As her unfixable complaints accumulate, dissatisfaction with himself makes her less likeable and living with her less satisfying. Consequently, wives who frequently complain weaken their own likeability, which opens husband’s eyes as to what lies outside their home.
  4. A man doesn’t love the same way as women do. His emotional and motivational forces differ greatly. His love is based on pleasing himself by pleasing her, having her as his close possession, finding self-admiration for his work effort on her behalf, and satisfying himself with the process of life that includes her either imagined or deeply embedded with him. IOW, she finds love in her heart and doesn’t question the specifics. He finds love in his mind after concluding she’s so appealing and likeable that his efforts on her behalf satisfy him more than he expects with other women.
  5. Both sexes are born to get their way, which stimulates competition at which men are naturally expert. However, men will not compete with their own woman. They rely on physicality or the pressures of dominance to win. Or, they withdraw to avoid losing to their mate. Losing to the weaker sex is to be avoided, and it becomes habitual in boyhood.
  6. The smarter girls and young women learn best that they can get their way by cooperating to get their way in future affairs rather than insisting on getting their way in the present. By not learning that lesson, some wives do wrong things that corrupt present life for their man, and it makes wives less likeable.
  7. Suffering anger, disappointment, and frustration of not getting her way in matters of the heart, a woman finds her marriage in need of new management, even though she’s the only manager available. Men don’t know how and find little interest in trying. To a man, he’s either in a relationship or not; he sees little wrong except as he’s dissatisfied with her, living with her, or himself for having married her.

Wives are the key to making their man faithful. He either learns to honor her above all others, or he likely hunts for other attractions.

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2699. Minimize Risk of Husband Cheating


Q. How do women minimize the risk of husband cheating?

A. Wives have to accept responsibility to keep closed the door to the sexual world outside of marriage. Why?

  • The male nature oils and unlocks the door. It’s a man’s permanent, lifelong, and natural male urge to conquer attractive women. Put on earth to spread his seed, women have to defeat that primal urge in order to live with a faithful man.
  • It’s easy for women to blame men for cheating; they should obey their promises, vows, etc. But men don’t swear off conquering attractive women except to please one woman to whom they can and do devote themselves. Dedication to her becomes more influential than wordy promises. She is so important to him, that he gives up his natural urges in order to keep her satisfied with him and him with himself.
  • The female nature is imminently capable of making extinct her man’s urge to conquer others. Mothers, girls, bachelorettes, and finally the one to whom he’s devoted teach, train, and condition the male psyche to fulfill a woman’s expectations for their relationship. In fact, women need to work together and exploit the superiority of their gender. They help each other, and the one to whom a man is devoted takes it from there.
  • The toughest part is the final result; a well-conditioned husband’s psyche willing to please his woman by honoring his devotion and her expectation with his faithfulness.
  • The best insurance lies here. His dedicated-to-himself character prevents disappointing himself by violating promises and vows—that’s his contribution if and when he’s devoted to one woman. His devotion to her is deep and unequaled among his other dedications and predilections—and it’s hers to both earn and keep.

Regardless of planning, preparation, and conditioning of her man’s psyche in courtship, how wives treat husbands tremendously affects masculine fidelity—often without her being aware of the consequences of many of her words and actions. It’s next.

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