2550. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Step 03: Principles re Love (I)

Third step: I will be posting about two dozen influences that impact every relationship in some way that a manager should recognize. She must convince herself to expect that the following principles will be naturally injected into her relationship whether she wants them or not. She should play and take advantage of each in any way that she can.

  1. A man cannot love a woman he does not respect, and she has the burden to earn it. Men consider female sexual assets as the grandest of possessions, but only their first sex together. After that she is another conquered woman. If men had something as valuable and desirable, they would not give it up except at a very high price.
  2. Men are born to dominate women, but women are the superior sex. They are born with special relationship skills lacking in men. Men are immovable objects. Women are an irresistible force; they are born with extra skills capable of moving obstinate men as each woman gains familiarity with her ability and masters the art of reading each male.
  3. On first encounter, a man expects to dominate the talk. He unloads what he has to offer her in hopes of selling himself. She does best to do the opposite. She is the buyer, and the buyer who discloses what she’s willing to pay will pay the highest price.
  4. Her relationship expertise enables a woman to overcome male dominance. However, strategic mistakes, such as premature yielding of their first sex together, weaken a woman’s superior expertise. So do tactical blunders, such as getting in his face. Disclosing who and what she is that she wants him to know. Too much nervousness that stimulates her continuous chattering. Not listening to his speechifying that emerge from his self-recognized super intellect. Disregarding his opinions and outlooks concerning the future he offers her. Interrupting and forcing him to distort his plan of attack. Offering her opinions, which are of no interest or relevance of where he’s trying to take their conversation. More effectively, her relative quiet stimulates a seller to keep trying to convince her of the worth of his product, which means she gains most by talking least.
  5. Two conquerors face off. The longer she delays conquest, the more of his high-quality respect she earns, and respect is the foundation of his hoped-for love.
  6. Conquerors have rights. Should she yield prematurely, he is good enough and now ‘owns’ her. Her right to compete against his conquering effort is gone. By proving himself good enough for her to yield, he is released without further burden. Competition for sex ceases, since he owns their sexual agenda. He may feel further obligated to her or not. Conquest is its own natural release back into hunter-conqueror mode and freedom and independence to pursue other targets.
  7. A man knows before conquest. Her worth after conquest is predetermined. She’s a keeper, booty, or dumpee. It is his nature more than her, and she should see it coming before conquest. Extensive dating sends her many hints of what to expect, of how he regards her as sex object or potential mate. To not be surprised calls for her greatest skill to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver a man, just to find out what to expect and the role she will fill if she does yield for his conquest.
  8. Men change dramatically after conquest in ways that do not promote marriage. Women respond in order to promote marriage. If she is a keeper in his eyes, it shifts them to renegotiating a relationship, albeit on friendly grounds. If successful, the woman remains in charge of continuing to manage the relationship.
  9. Both sexes compete with diligence to promote their own conquering agenda. If he wins, he dominates their later relationship. If she wins, she governs their lifetime relationship, because she held out until his devotion developed.
  10. She is the relationship expert; he knows nothing about it. To him, their relationship is either on or off, up or down, existing or dead. Her relationship management services are needed continuously.
  11. Two distinctly different promises exist; that which he sees in her and that which she promises for his life. Her promises actually work against her. They distract his attention from figuring out her and him living together. He trusts what he figures out, and distrusts the words of another. Again, it’s his nature. Even if she succeeds in talking him into marriage, it likely will not last.

Adopting the strategy of virtual virginity offers the greatest strength to counter and delay his competitive determination to conquer her. Virtual virginity means to remain unconquerable before marriage, even though she may have previously been married or even promiscuous. If a woman decides to use the VV strategy, she inherited at birth the determination and wisdom to sustain it. Her reason to remain sexually inactive with him may be moral, religious, or personal taste. If, however, he will not honor her decision to remain chaste, he does not love her enough, will not honor other requests should they marry, and is probably after sex more than her. Note well, her reasons to support chasteness should always be for something higher than herself and never to ‘save’ herself for her husband. And she should never say she is ‘holding herselffor her husband; it kills a man’s hope and gives him info he can use against her.

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Filed under courtship, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences

2549. Fellatio—No, Go, or Know?

At 2546, Her Highness Christine motivated me to respond to this, “I’m struggling to understand why no fellatio during courtship, whether there is fellatio in marriage and if not, why.”

The following are default motivators that reside in men and women as the result of how they are born. It doesn’t mean they have to act this way, and of course they don’t. But it’s their inborn nature, and it produces the most compatible and permanent arrangements within a couple, which according to the inborn female nature is the most highly desired result.

  • Men are driven to compete with other men, whatever gets in their way, and to shape human events. A woman’s refusal for first time sex together gets in his way, and the hunter-conqueror determines to shape events to his liking. Men are also born with self-respect and do not give it away until it is earned by either men or women.
  • A man’s love of a woman is based on the respect she earns from him; it’s an essential foundation. Without it, his love will not develop or at least not deeply enough to satisfy her. They drift apart or worse.
  • The respect she earns by delaying conquest and making him await her decision to yield is the highest she can earn, it is different from other respect she may earn for beauty, intelligence, athletic prowess, etc. Moreover, it is an unconditional type of respect—even resembling mother love in loyalty, and it programs his heart for life. He learns to respect the better conqueror.
  • He may later lose his love of her, but her courage and determination remains in his heart; she delayed his great conquering threat long enough for her to get what she wanted. Respect she earns is proportional to delay.
  • He spends his courtship time and effort trying to uncover her weaknesses so he can bed her. But what he uncovers instead are her qualities that he can admire, each of which becomes a virtue to him. Seeking to marry a virtuous woman, as do all men, her virtues accumulate. Many virtues eventually morph into a fascinating woman, he sees her promise as mate for his present life, and the hook is set in his mouth that a proposal is best for him.
  • The great respect she earns overcoming his best efforts overwhelm his primal urge to conquer. Just by refusing to yield, she becomes his relatively innocent and immaculate prize. He can presume that she must not have yielded to all those other guys, if she could refuse all his charm, effort, and determination.
  • He figures it out, which makes it easier to believe; he has some guarantee that she is reasonably close to unblemished. Not that virginity is sacrosanct, but not following a whole bunch is guys is critical to him. When he ‘owns’ something by virtue of winning, he doesn’t want to meet previous ‘owners’.
  • Of course it sounds sexist, but it is his nature. These flood him: pride of possession, self-admiration for winning, self-satisfaction of ‘owning’ the best, and sense of significance of who he now is and what he can do with her alongside. Not sexist but self-interest; that which motivates everyone.

That is the basis for a couple’s success. The more respect she earns, the stronger the foundation of his love and all the other connections that produce a compatible and permanent life together.


A relationship usually starts his way. Starting as competitors with the man acting dominant, a woman is expected to bow to masculine wishes. When women bow easily, they earn no respect. So, cheap and easy sex generates no respect and men do not bond with sex. Double miss for her. The relationship is temporary. What is fellatio but easy sex? Ask and you shall receive. So, it adds neither respect nor permanence in an uncommitted relationship.

In a committed relationship, much the same thing happens. Fellatio is cheap and easy, but it reverses the process of earning a man’s respect. If he says do it, she says no, he insists, and she does it. Easy pushover and just what men don’t respect. Or, she chooses to initiate, he accepts, and then remembers how men disrespectfully treat each other, something from childhood and beyond.

I’m told that pleasure motivates one for sex, which elevates fellatio in the options available. Not being the prime motivator, however, makes it suspect as to the naturalness of it. If pleasure be the guide, then fellatio can be called natural. But I cite four motivational forces that are more natural than pleasure:

  • Her physiological urge to nurture triggers the urge to procreate.
  • Her psychological need to assuage the needs of others stimulates her to copulate.
  • Her natural need for self-importance ignites ambitions to outdo and outshine other women to capture and mate with the best quality man, whom she seeks to ensure high quality offspring. Necessarily, because of the male nature, it usually involves sexual relations.
  • Her nature craves intimacy, especially when her spirits are down. The promise of pre- and post-coital touching and body closeness fuels her desire for sex.

Does that make fellatio unnatural? Close to it? Respectable? Worthy of respect?

What is the primal and primary form of men showing dominance of a woman? Demo of strength? Physical control? Overbearing attitude? None of those? It is and always has been poking his penis in her. Are all orifices the same in terms of either earning or losing his respect for her allowing it? Do men consider themselves well respected to have their orifices penetrated? Or does the earning and losing of respect desert the male mind when in bed?

Better yet, what is the primal and primary form of men showing dominance of a woman that he respects? Men claim that fellatio has no effect on their respect for a woman. Can such a claim be trusted? Man on man makes a difference.

“Suck my cock” is a common expletive and way that boys and men use to tell another that I have no respect for you, so take off, butt out, or whatever to close the encounter. Disrespectful actions beget disrespect. Wife/girlfriend repeatedly does a disrespectful thing, and his respect dwindles or worse. Whether girlfriend or wife,  fellatio neither earns nor upholds a boyfriend’s or husband’s respect. Doesn’t mean they can’t survive as a couple, but his love cannot fail to diminish as his respect wanes. His devotion may save their relationship but that’s another story being told in the current series, Ten Steps to Win a Man’s Heart.

Finally, I regret having sampled some porn video. But I quickly lost respect for porn dolls with semen slobbers on face and dribbles on chin. Just how does a female gain advantage by fellatio except for money?

FURTHER COMMENT. A man’s respect and fellatio may not be mutually exclusive. But for a woman to think fellatio promotes her advantage to keep a man is mutually exclusive. Were I a woman currently engaging in fellatio with my man, I would try to disengage by using the tactics described in the Virtual Virginity series listed in the CONTENT page at blog top. The VV process requires that a man respect a woman’s decision to withdraw from specific sexual activity. Unfortunately, not all men have the heart to show that much respect to their woman—so I would be very careful before presuming myself victorious.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2548. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Step 02: Men Are Born Different

Second step is ten descriptions of both the female and the male nature. Men are born:

  1. Without the ability to build or manage a relationship as can a woman. They are much like a loose cannon rolling around on deck of the relationship ship, but they frequently have to save face. Consequently, they shift much more easily from cooperation to competition than the reverse, but to their own disadvantage, as explained below.
  2. With a major shortcoming of which they are unaware but that helps breed compatibility. Men will compete with a woman for conquest but for nothing else or afterward. If they initiate or are pushed to compete, they change strategy and tactics to allow escape and ensure they do not lose. Their dominant nature fears losing to what the male nature perceives as an inferior person, but is a superior person that belief in dominance cannot recognize as such. Designed and even disguised by smoothness and patience, women operate cooperatively and avoid competitive encounters.
  3. Without realizing that the superior gender applies pressure to cooperate and naturally discourage competition within a relationship. However, one exception. More important is that women have to earn a man’s respect for his love to develop. Competition over conquest does it best, because for such a magnificent prize, a high price should be the goal of the owner and the male nature does not fear losing while attempting to win something so valuable.
  4. To love sex for the sake of sex, to love work for the sake of satisfaction, and to love a woman or women for the sake of convenience, comfort, and pleasure. Yep, loving more than one is possible. It makes a man’s quality of character vital in assessing the accuracy of his promises of commitment, loyalty, and longevity of marriage.
  5. With two love drives, one for the displaying of affection and sex, called love here, and the other for fulfillment of duty and responsibility, called devotion here. The latter is the more consequential and lasting for successful marriage.
  6. With two sex drives, one for unconquered women and the other for those a man has conquered. His sex drive for unconquered women is independent of and is prioritized ahead of love, affection, and devotion. It fuels his persistence and enables him to conquer and dump a woman. His drive for conquered women is ‘normal’. It floats on dominance mixed with physiological, psychological, and convenient needs—aka, he only needs a place, she needs a reason.
  7. With the notion that conquest proves he is good enough for her and need not go further to win her for himself. He expects her complete cooperation, because yielding first sex proved that he is good enough for her. He effectively ‘owns’ her and is, therefore, eligible to reinstate his dominant nature previously made passive enough to conquer.
  8. To change dramatically after conquest, which forces her to change to compensate. He previously decided she was a keeper, good for booty, or fit for dumping, so he was probably also disingenuous or dishonest. Conqueror’s rights free him to rule their sexual agenda, exhibit ownership of their relationship, reinstate his dominant nature previously made passive to enable conquest, and also pursue another target for conquest— even if she is a keeper.
  9. With considerable self-respect that women lack at birth. It means that she must earn self-respect in life. Self-respect is how she grows to appreciate herself as a competent person, not just a woman or employee. More feminine competence breeds more self-respect, because her feminine side lifts her out of competition with males. Her self-respect improves as her interpersonal skills develop, her avoidance of competition with men develops and prevails (except for conquest), and relationship harmonizing improves.
  10. Lacking self-love that women possess in a huge amount. It means men must earn self-love in life. Self-love is how he likes himself as an appreciated person, man, and potential lover, which means the more others appreciate him and his relations with women, the greater his self-love. His earning more respect in those roles of life also earns more appreciation of others and grows his self-love.

The Bible says to spread love, but no one says to spread respect. New axiom: Men need more respect for self-love to grow. Women need more love for self-respect to grow. (To raise better children, the benefits should start spreading in toddlerhood where youthfulness acts as fertilizer. More love to girls and more respect to boys will likely turn out more mature adults.)


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2547. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Step 01: Marriage is Her Goal

A man does the work but the woman governs the way to a man’s heart, if lifetime marriage is her goal. The process begins with her thoughts that generate the proper attitude to encourage a man to seriously court her.

This is a very important principle. She cannot purposely and proactively capture a man’s heart. He gives it up to her. Forget virginity although great to have, forget conquest although that will be her most difficult obstacle to overcome, and forget trickery. Even if entrapment or manipulation works, it will fail her somewhere down the marital road. Summarized, he conducts the process that earns her exclusive loyalty to him only by proving himself worthy of her.

Delayed commitment leads to sounder connection. The longer she acts uncommitted but willing to accept his pursuit, the better for her. Unlike her, a man’s devotion develops slowly and his love may grow even slower. As described in these ten steps, the process reads like clockwork, each step following the other. But that is not how it happens; it all merges and modifies many disruptions and finally morphs them into a smooth relationship. No shortcuts because they ultimately fail.

A woman uses her interest and imagination to intermingle these ten steps into a relationship-building process that induces the pursuer to win her favor for marriage. He does all the winning; she mostly provides endless but chaste encouragement. It can get awkward or worse, especially delaying conquest.

The more he initiates the courting, the better and longer will be the marriage. It’s a good sign he’s after her rather than just sex. Her patience to go along, initiate little, and let him earn her converts his commitment into devotion, his love grows alongside, and his devoted actions develop into family-type responsibility of which a woman cannot have too much. It also allows more time and conditions for his love to grow and stabilize.

First step: She should recognize four vital thoughts for all men: 1) Her infatuation is not matched by his. His pursuit of conquest is not related to infatuation and not even her at the beginning. She is burdened to redirect his interest from vagina to her. 2) Romantic love so strongly present at the beginning will not last; it fades one or two years after conquest and she has the burden to generate enduring love to replace it. 3) Sex does not bond a man, and so conquest has no lasting benefit. In fact, it changes both sexes often for the worse and seldom for long-range good. 4) Femininity appeals to a man, because it is embedded with mystery, modesty, emotional fidelity, and monogamous spirit that makes her uniquely different and magnifies her attractiveness as very non-masculine.

Feminism and feminist thought have opposite effects. They discourage femininity that men appreciate so much and bring out the unappealing side of femaleness that overwhelms a female’s attractiveness as potential wife.

The second step describes important features of the male nature, next.


Filed under courtship, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage

2546. Ten Steps To Win A Man’s Heart — Her Mindset

Now, ladies, in all likelihood you expect some rules in this series. There are five rules but not what you probably think. And this isn’t even step one yet.

1) Make yourself into the good, feminine, and exciting woman a man wants to pursue. Then, calm your infatuation and stay out of his way so he can make himself worthy of you. 2) Keep yourself so attractive and unique relative to other women, especially in his presence, that he would not think of chasing someone else. 3) Remain chaste without explaining yourself, until you fall back on virtual virginity as your strategy. You’re ahead in the game, when he wants you more than sex with you. You will know that when his devotion appears, pleasing himself by pleasing you. 4) Be patient, don’t inquire about his love of you or seek to improve on whatever the relationship evolves into; it’s his game to play, and he does it best by doing what he thinks it takes to keep from losing you. 5) Let the big things like love and affection fall into place naturally. Avoid, prevent, and eliminate the little things such as irritants, nags, pleadings, offenses, and seeds of dispute.

A woman’s  mindset determines her attitude, which governs her behavior in the presence of the man whose heart she hopes to win. Modern women have soured mindsets, which I hope to sweeten in ten steps. (Men are no better off, but this isn’t their story.)

Women have the general picture of winning a man’s heart. However, they have lost or forgotten many of the critical details that make it work to the advantage of girls and women. Much of it will contradict what women have thought for years, because women have too long ignored the congenital nature of both sexes.

Pushed to the brink by undeserved blame, modern men focus on using women for personal satisfaction with sex as major theme—conquest, booty, porn, date rape, wham bam, one-night stands, love ‘em and leave ‘em, dump and go, hook up but look up the next. The inborn nature of men has long been disguised behind the misconception of feminist propaganda and misapplication of blame. Consequently, women have fallen victim of political nonsense that causes breakup of families and burdens women much more than do men.

Fewer and fewer marriages last. Consequently, men get what they want with little obligation, and women are unable to fulfill their girlhood hopes and dreams. Misguided women have detrained men from even wanting to help females achieve their hopes and dreams.

Regrettable, but it accurately portrays America in the hands of men as enemies of women’s expectations and goals in life. The immediate pleasure of sex has been elevated above the better things in life. Which are the deferred pleasures of compatible, comfortable, and companionable relationships with long range marital promise for women and rewarding satisfaction for men as they associate with women and children.

Where is the breakdown? Lack of respect, males for females. First, females don’t doggedly guard their supremely valuable sexual assets. Men would never yield such valuable assets except for a great price, never give it away for little or nothing. Anyone that dumb doesn’t deserve masculine respect. Second, men don’t take well to undeserved blame by feminists.

Lack of respect, females for males. Led by feminist thought, women blame men for the ills of female lives. Blame slaughters respect over time. Both society and the culture are now heavily influenced by mutual lack of respect.

Neither sex seems to realize that the male nature is shaped this way. Men do not love what they can’t or don’t respect. So, no respect by men results in no love of women. No love, no bonding. It is not universal yet, but it is trending that way.

Without the bonding of mutual love, how long can a couple last? A substitute my help—devotion—and it may be easier to achieve, sustain, and uplift a man’s love. I describe later how it originates.

Winning a man’s heart is actually done at this long-running battle. He’s not all that interested in her without first sex together, but she has to change that and inspire him to prioritize her over conquest. It is the foundation of his devotion and love, and the toughest job a woman faces to generate a lifetime marriage.

She governs the way to a man’s heart by making her appearance and behavior attractive to him. No guarantee because so much life remains to be lived. But the successful process eventually motivates him to admirably stride down the middle of the road of marital bliss with her more than sex on his mind. This series describes the complex process of how a woman builds success, how she wins the battle of two conquerors.

Before we proceed, however, heads up, ladies. This is the most important thing you will read in this series. You can change to promote your interest; he cannot or will not change except to facilitate conquest. You cannot purposely and proactively capture a man’s heart. He gives it up to you, because of what he figures out from your attractiveness and actions, what you don’t do with your mouth, and what promise you hold for brightening his current life with convenience, comfort, and frequent sex. Forget virginity although great to have, forget conquest although delaying it will be your greatest battle of the sexes, and forget entrapment. Even if it works now, it will fail you somewhere down the marital road.

Nice, quiet, feminine mystique, female modesty, and monogamous spirit embellished with genuine sincerity enables you best to peacefully hold off his drive for conquest until he is captivated by you as more promising as mate than as conquest. He has to want you more than sex; which is your toughest job. Sex may capture but it does not hold a man; only you can do that.

The woman’s toughest principle to follow is the one from just above, “what you don’t do with your mouth.” Three things: 1) Don’t do fellatio. It reinforces his male dominance, expectations about submitting to his whims, and stops the earning of his respect. And respect is a foundational requirement of masculine love. 2) Don’t do ‘full disclosure’ or endlessly talk about little things, because it dissolves feminine dignity into juvenile pretension. 3) Don’t explain yourself or complain about things that happen or that you don’t like. Keep your opinions to yourself. Opinions that reflect adversely on you are far more numerous and likely to be different from his. The male nature is wired to presume a man’s opinions superior to women. If you sound dumb he’s gone; if you’re right, he’s unimpressed and may take offense that you are smarter than he, and then he’s gone.

Revere your independence. As you can keep him guessing about you, you keep his curiosity up, imagination working, and his interest fired up. The less you say, the more composed, upbeat, encouraging but mysterious you remain all the time. It improves the odds his appreciation will grow of who and what you are beyond what sex brings into his life. His appreciation has to grow although your attractiveness jumpstarts it, and you have to sustain it.

Forget using the words, “I love you.” You can say it, but it gains you little. The words impress and make you feel good but not him; he doesn’t base his decisions on what you say, and so the words provide you no advantage for selling yourself—unless he’s about to bail out because he thinks you have no interest in him. But, just say it once or twice; it’s easy to overdo and make you look desperate. In fact, not using that phrase generates highly desirable mystery in you. (OTOH, if he easily spouts it out, red flag, as he’s likely being disingenuous or lying to facilitate conquest.)

The one most fearful of losing the other usually loses in the long run. So, show no fear about losing him; if he threatens, hold the door open, call his bluff. If he leaves, you are blessed by finding it out then rather than later.

Also, until he actually convinces himself that he loves you—a lengthy process—he takes having to say it on your pressure or request as deep commitment or perhaps obligation to marry. A man is reluctant to take that step until he is certain. That can take months or even years, which makes devotion to you an easier accomplishment than gaining his love (explained later).

His process that wins his heart for you eventually motivates him to admirably stride down the middle of the road of marital bliss. No guarantee of what follows because so much life remains to be lived.

Step 01 is next.


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, Dear daughter, feminine, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, Sociology 101, The mind, Uncategorized

2545. Submissive #12 — Submissive Ends Submission

This ends the series, and I guess it’s about time. Readership dropped off dramatically, so readers must be full of submission. I hope that means well informed rather than bored.

  1. Men unsure of themselves and unwilling to let it be known arbitrarily expect submission in their woman. Relationship experts, also known as mature women, know better than to get involved with such men in the first place. [Guy adds: Of course, to some women, those usually endowed with less maturity, it makes a guy more attractive. She perceives that he needs to change and she’s just the gal to do it.]
  2. More than the reality, how submissiveness appears to both husband and other men can be a major issue. Admittedly, it is an ego thing. [Guy adds: She may find it more peaceful to present herself submissive to husband one way and differently in front of other men. The object being to protect husband’s self-image before others.]
  3. Just like men on the job, women expect to have their way in domains that advance their self-interest agenda, especially in their home, marital relationship, and mothering. Success depends largely on generating at least the appearance that he rules the roost. [Guy adds: If she expects to rule the rooster, she specializes in getting up before the rooster crows—actually and not just figuratively. He learns to depend on his woman when she prepares his day ahead of him. His dependence and her importance slips when she follows him out of bed in the morning. (I speak about their natures and not today’s practice.)]
  4. By not getting in his face, she keeps him open for negotiating and accepting her influence. She knows that his guilt about his own mistakes impresses him much more than if she cites them to his face or in front of others such as the kids. Staying out of his face is the essence of capitalizing on her submissive spirit. [Guy adds: Her peaceful and accepting demeanor in the face of his mistakes makes him doubly regretful and uncomfortable. It’s discomfort that mostly inspires men to change.]

Submission aside, over the years the wife/mother ultimately wields the greatest family influence. In the final analysis, she is much better equipped to anticipate competing decisions and negotiate or disguise with cooperation what is really happening in home and family.  It’s the product of a skilled relationship expert doing her expert best.

A woman’s submissive spirit is equally or more influential than a man’s expectation of submission. That is, however, if she fully develops the God-given talent inherent in her submissive spirit.


Filed under courtship, dear daugher, feminine, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2544. Submissive #11 — Recovery Made Easy

Female indirectness and nudging has this inherently beautiful feature. Mistakes are the most minor, least offensive possible, and therefore more easily recoverable. Trial and error feeling out a man’s preferences doesn’t cause terminal mistakes. Thus, feminine leadership by indirectness takes on the flavor of ‘it pleases me to please you’.

  1. Despite what women are taught or presume, a submissive spirit tightens her relationship, strengthens her influence, and success calms her feminine ego. All three results favorably impact her primal need for a brighter future. [Guy adds: IOW she’s the main relationship driver unless she refuses or rejects gaining the most persuasive role for herself, which should commence with first date. It’s one of the greatest challenges for pre-conquest dating and courtship. Getting her man to conclude that beneath her hard-headed defense of her sexual assets lies a submissive spirit eager to arise and support him if they ever marry. His conclusion and not her preachments.]
  2. Submission is what men call obedience they think they deserve in exchange for their dominant role plus yielding independence and assuming responsibility to provide and protect. Her submissive spirit directly demonstrates support and indirectly shows gratitude for husband. [Guy adds: IOW, men think they deserve their woman’s submission more for what men do than who they are. When doubted or questioned, however, they fall back on dominant entitlement. Also, the results she produces out of her submissive spirit make up half of his payday for husbanding and fathering. The other half comes from his appreciation of what comes out of her mouth. The ratio is subject to great variance as to time, place, and a couple’s relationship.]
  3. He can best see things her way after her submissive spirit acknowledges his decision-making predominance. In that way, she dampens his dominance and makes him vulnerable to her female patience, feminine charm, and wifely indirectness. [Guy adds: With him vulnerable, wife can nudge adjustments to his decisions both proactively and reactively. When he responds agreeably to her nudging, she’s doing everything right to maximize her influence.]
  4. He is primarily the provider-protector and focused on the here and now. He sees success as short term results—good job, income, home life. He knows who he is and where he is going. It is axiomatic that certain family domains are his responsibility and others are not. He concerns himself primarily with pushing that agenda where he expects to have undisputed authority. [Guy adds: All of that until, that is, she tames him into a lesser and usually more agreeable if not likeable autocrat. Which is an achievement made possible through the artistry of feminine nudging, patience, and indirect leadership.]
  5. If she can’t submit, if she fights the idea, he will not commit—perhaps in words but not in his heart, that is. It doesn’t mean forever. He may commit later if he continues to perceives promise that she will ultimately buy into his expectations. [Guy adds: Before conquest, a guy likely will not expect her submission. He expects ardent defense of her sexual assets. She does wrong to convince him that she’s willing to be submissive before they marry. It programs his mind that she’s a pushover and urges him to try harder to overcome her hard-headed defense against conquest. It’s the idealized view, but she does best that enables her man to conclude that he buys her submission before marriage. She doesn’t give it away; he has to earn it.]

This series will close tomorrow with article #12.

submission, marriage, sexual assets, conquest, feminine charm,  wifely nudging, indirect leadership, provider-protector, indirect leadership, his dominance, her submissive spirit,

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