2444. Favored Quotes—Collection 49


“Sometimes, I think, the conclusion that we can’t be perfect tempts us to give up even trying to reach ‘darn good’. At least, this mindset has been something I have had to wrestle with to make real strides for myself.” [Miss Gina at 2430]

“Nowadays most women are taught to simply accept being fat and don’t think much of it, they aren’t told how much men are repulsed by it, but rather ‘the right guy will accept you regardless of how big you are’.” [Sarina at 2430]

“That’s why I’ve often said that Feminism, and much of the Manosphere (especially the Gamers) are really Feminists. Even though they seem superficially to be opposites, ‘changing the natural and co-operative battle of the sexes into an unnatural and competitive war’ is what both accomplish. The ideology might sound different but the results are exactly the same.” [Eric at 2385]

“Men and women tend to have different perceptions of love, which is probably why it is so beneficial to be raised by a mom and a dad.” [Insanitybytes22 at 2327]

“Whenever women have educated children, cooked meals and maintained the home, they have had leverage to argue for just treatment. Whenever women or their husbands have outsourced housework, women are treated poorly by men.” [Superslaviswife at 2362.]

“I read that you must start at the mind, move to the heart and engage with the body. Mind, body and spirit, any violations to this causes many heartaches in the end. [Emma at 1792]

“I am so grateful to have discovered your blog in a sea of platitudes, pessimism and combative dating advice.” [Meggrz at 1925] (Underscore added)

“I am becoming more and more inclined to think we can’t just ‘tell’ our children all the good stuff we want them to know-in-their-bones, such as the fact that we love them. They have to draw their own conclusions based on their own experiences. And, sadly, they don’t have and can’t process “all the information” since they are children, so they will misunderstand, misrepresent, and misremember so many things.” [Anne at 1788, underlining added]

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2443. Journey to Feminine — Part 10


Acrimony. Relationships shorten and get progressively worse in the modern world of masculine-style sexual freedom. Men and women meet, interact, date, court, and even marry. He delivers attention and persuasion, and she provides unobligated sex. It’s done for fun and lust according to mutual taste. She may even initiate. According to their gender value system, men couldn’t have it any better. But many men know differently and search for a better life, which invariably includes a good woman. They, however, are hard to identify. So men stick to the modern game plan, sex without obligation, while they hope for something better to come along.

In that feminist inspired world, graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, men resist marriage, and husbands respond disruptively to feminist attitudes in their castle. Respect, courtesy, and good manners are neither expected nor practiced. Masculine strengths and manly civility are purposely underappreciated, and men resent, resist, and often retaliate. Male aggression arises easily.

Deep devotion to one woman is almost mutually exclusive, what with the feminist spirit and expectations. Commitment usually means temporary. Husbands too easily shift focus to another blossom. Wives seek escape from self-inflicted misery with a man to the misery of being without one.

Both sexes sour on their own marriage; frustrated wives turn against men and wounded men turn against marriage. The institution of family withers and wrinkles as if dying of old age.

That’s the feminist model and its consequences. It’s what feminine-minded women face as they try to fabricate more lasting relationships. The competition isn’t easy, so they use a better model that offers so much more to their man and works better and easier for themselves.

Matrimony. The feminine woman causes those incompatible effects to weaken, fade, or die. Motivated by the glorious female nature that floods her heart, feminine behaviors generate graciousness, gratitude, respect, courtesy, and good manners to salve the wounds of feminism. She knows how to tame and prevent male aggression. She appreciates masculine strengths and manly civility as essential for her to have a good life. It’s unusual for her man to resent, resist, and retaliate against her behaviors; he appreciates her femininity too much. She expects to see and depends on his firm devotion, permanent commitment, and her intent and ability to keep her man. She produces minimal misery because of her ability to discourage and avoid it.

Thus, the feminine woman adds color to a man’s B&W world in ways that he wants to be part of her development of relationship and family.

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2442. Mother Overloaded: How to Recover


Her Highness Jodi in two comments at 1328 describes her overloaded life as wife to a busy husband and mother to eight children 15 and under. She has to do every aspect of housekeeping and living together all by herself; she seeks help but nobody answers her pleas. Her frustrations and angst appear normally in motherhood. The following may have more application than just for her.

Jodi, you’ve mastered the artistry of a great wife and housekeeper. You only have to develop the habits of a great mother, which is finding gratitude in everyone and all they do regardless of how displeased you may be with their effort.

Recovery is everything but it takes time. You have all you need but perhaps these suggestions can help with re-nesting your situation:

Contributions are more important than results, both from mom and children not yet fully developed. You know what is required for good housekeeping, but does it all have to be done so well for good nesting? Really? What can only be done by mom? How can re-nesting relieve pressure on her?

Self-development of the children is a process, and so is life. The clean house today will be less so tomorrow. Consequently, perfection, much like equality, isn’t achievable and time spent on it is wasted. Mom serves herself better when she harmonizes the efforts of everyone so that the process of family life is calm rather than disruptive by a bunch of never ending tasks left as mom’s exclusive burden.

Re tasks and responsibilities assigned by a parent, when perfection is expected self-development stops because the child’s attitude sours against parental authority. Self-development includes each child reinforcing this lesson repeatedly: ‘I know best HOW to do WHAT you expect me to do’. Practice then brings better results if not perfection.

If already common practice, the following bad habits should be stamped out: parental expectations too high for each child’s maturity, excessive supervision, and everyone having to meet mom’s standards for how THINGS ought to be. Those disruptive expectations work against mom three ways: They prevent her finding 1) her self-importance as vital to children’s self-development before her eyes. 2) Finding gratefulness for what she has, is producing, and the various characters with whom she associates in her nest. 3) Reduced ability to earn the respect of children, because mom doesn’t show respect for them as persons capable of contrary thoughts and decisions.

Alter your thinking to accommodate this model and sell it to husband. Parents have four roles: husband, wife, mother, and father. Each is responsible to do their best in each role and report to the one to the left. The purpose is to have one person responsible to fill each role. It provides the kids with what makes everyone a better follower. Only one boss better manages future relationships, and that’s what child development is all about. Benefits seem obvious until you see father reporting to mother about the kids. It will be tough to convince your husband as family head that he as father should fill a minor role and let you be responsible for children’s behavior and discipline.

Don’t let the kids see you and husband disagree over family matters. Take every husband-wife disagreement behind closed doors. Any disagreements the children see will be used to play you and husband against one another later when the kids want something. OTOH, when mother and father disagree in front of the kids, it’s okay as long as children see that husband relents and mother shows up as the ultimate boss until at least after puberty. (Confusing reigns when people have two bosses and they learn to play one against the other; you’ve seen it at work, right?)

Don’t try to raise good kids; they will disappoint you at home or later in the teens. Give them more to yearn for. Specifically, raise them to be good adults and childhood will be much calmer.

Hold your temper. The more upset the children see you become, the more instinctively they learn how to outwit, outsmart, and outmaneuver you and other adults as they grow up. They quickly learn to read you like a book according to emotional outbursts. Calmness sells you as an effective leader in your nest and good role model for adulthood.

Say nothing until you convince yourself you can live with it. Keep your word. Let kids learn that your actions always follow your words. Their respect of you will grow according to how reliable you are for meaning and holding to what you say. As their respect grows, they will more easily please mom just because she’s who she is.

It’s much better than anger, yelling, or obvious displeasure that others witness. Teach your children that a sour look or stare from you is enough for them to correct their current misbehavior. Make it so that others don’t see your correcting them. It’s a marvelous way for them to see how well they are respected, which confirms their worth as undeveloped little men and women rather than just immature kids. They are that astute about growing up and appreciate being treated adult-like.

We are all self-developers, including your husband but he’s developing himself in his business and needs harmony in the home. Leave him out of nesting as much as practicable. Deal with him as his wife and not mother or housekeeper. Expect his husbandly affection and appreciation but don’t use his help with mothering.

Encourage father to lead, teach, and play rather than discipline the kids. If they need discipline, you handle it. Encourage him to enjoy them and vice versa. Teach and train the children to have high quality character and religious and adult values before puberty, and you’ll not likely require father’s help with the law as teenagers. IOW, let the children find out on their own that they have one boss, YOU, but you’re a kind, considerate, forgiving, and loyal one. Father is your boss and let the kids know it directly. It confirms they don’t have to worry about unfamiliar and unexplainable requirements, because they don’t know what husbands and wives are supposed to be.

Improve the self-development of children by giving each some new responsibilities. Just by being a family member, they have responsibilities up to which they must face even though they will do a lousy job at first as they are self-developers who object to having to change old habits. Each, however, should lift some burden off of you, but don’t use that as an excuse.

Don’t complain to husband and don’t explain yourself to kids. If you have to because pressures build, talk privately to your mom or girlfriend outside the home. Just to unload, not to expect or solicit help. You have exclusive responsibility for good nesting, or you will not do well at it. If you get so anxious that your nerves rattle, you’re going too far and trying too hard. So, follow your heart, trust your instinct, ponder on your intuition. Think things through as if you own the universe, as if you’re a kind and loyal god in your nest, and it will likely calm your nerves. God made you so capable of being a great but not perfect family builder. If guilt over lack of perfection stirs your conscience, you’re way off track.

Nothing has to be perfect, so don’t try to force perfection on children. Let them grow into doing things better, because they learn they can win mom’s approval just for trying. With loving approbation for just trying, they will each learn to do better, and it will help them think like adults in their development.

When children produce unsatisfactory results, forgive them and both respect and live with whatever they do produce. It’s a confirming measure of your respect for them as angels rather than misfits. The next thing they do is try harder to please mom.

You’ll have to work hardest at this. Convert every child’s temporary thought of being a misfit into conviction of his angelic standing within the family and especially mom’s eyes.

Finally, use this leadership model to accomplish that above. Assign specific responsibilities to each child and without duplication as far as practicable (two may have to share keeping their room). Given their level of maturity, delegate sufficient authority to each child to do their tasks as they see the best way and produce their version of what’s at least adequate. Hold each child accountable to at least step up to doing their jobs; doing nothing is unacceptable. Trying is good enough. Bite your tongue when results are not up to your standards. Helping them develop a good work ethic is the most important training you can provide.

They may be adults before you see it, but they will someday step up to meeting your standards. If the standards they meet are high qualities of character, sense of responsibility, dependability, and maturity for their age, you will have been the perfect mom—in their eyes, and that’s where it counts the most.

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2441. Free Constitution Course for You


As follow-up to yesterday’s post, I recommend you investigate the free educational opportunities presented online by Hillsdale College. (It has never taken federal government money, so it hasn’t been bought off by the left.) You can sign up for free courses on government, liberty, and the constitution. The latter is at https://freeconstitutioncourse.com. Several others of interest are also available at https://online.hillsdale.edu/?_ga=1.268591921.1765047930.1461064043 or hillsdale.edu.

They come up with new courses periodically. Unfortunately, I am unable to find my way to their full array of online courses. Perhaps you young folks can find it.

Guy

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2440. I Hope You Watch This Video


 

I ran across the video below. It’s lengthy but I pray all blog readers will make it worth their attention. I lived during the time the video portrays and what you see happening. With a master’s degree in political science, I was aware and can attest to the truth and accuracy of it.

It summarizes historically how our country is being torn apart. You’ll see how we have been led without knowing it to help Marxists organize, propagandize, and complete their missions. How communism intrudes your life and next door. How we are being unAmerican without trying and the American communist police state is developed with our willingness to accept it.

Be sure you watch the sections that describe the process and damaging results of day care, early education, and family damage. It will impact many of you directly. Also, how the planned eradication of Christianity is so deeply underway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VggFao85vTs

Guy

 

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2439. Limbo: Not for Ladies


At post 2438, Her Highness That Horse Is Dead described two middle aged single women who eagerly intruded and did the limbo planned for kids at a church sponsored event. She thinks it prudish and unladylike. Is it, she asks? Or should she just relax and join the fun?

Prudish? Not at all. All women should have such taste; it’s their nature until they give it up. Not for moral reasons, although that helps, but ladylike for the necessaries to capture and hold a man for life. Men want to marry a virtuous woman, and feminine women start off appearing more virtuous than others.

Since perception is reality, highly feminine behavior initiates virtuous thoughts in a man and inspires gentlemanly behavior. More importantly, it diverts a man’s interest away from her as sex object and reinforces her as potential candidate for something else. Ladies are more easily looked at for likeability than for thoughts of what never ceases, conquest.

Ladies neither show off their talents nor show off as men do. They rely on more feminine styles, such as indirectness, cooperation, and charm. By not showing off talents and skills that are not obvious, it suggests that men have to look deep to uncover female goodness. A lady comes across as a challenge to uncover what she has to offer as a mate, and any woman does it best by pushing sex into the background before it can be brought up.

Showing off as men do indicates that she is available for unobligated sex, since that’s what men do. Duplicating masculine behavior and thoughts springs from dislike of herself as a woman, which prompts women unwittingly and with minimal prompting to divulge weaknesses.

Ladies use indirectness and patiently encourage men important to them to discover their qualities more accidentally. It makes qualities more easily admired, which converts qualities into virtues, which accumulate to make her virtuous, which can fulfill a man’s desire to marry a virtuous woman, which causes him to find her fascinating, which tickles his fancy to have her as his woman, which encourages him to consider marriage, which makes her appear promising as an asset for his present life, which prompts him to shop for a ring and finalize his thoughts, which enables him to finally accumulate the courage to act, which brings a proposal out of him, which invites her acceptance, which he then escapes ceremonial matters by turning them over to her and her mother, which enables him to just arrive at the altar at the appointed time.

IOW, he will go along with marriage if she qualifies in his heart, if it’s his idea, and if she does all the work expect nudge, nag, or pressure him.

By exploiting the motivational forces that men and women inherit at birth, that’s how ladies wring out a proposal of marriage. The easy stage first. He uncovers her interest in him, which comes easily to her when these are present: infatuation, lust, imagination, and curiosity about possibilities as she sees the future. Second stage, he earns her as potential mate; that is, he proves to her that she is truly important to him now and hopefully will be forever. Her infatuation blossoms into love, which is a necessary step for mutual love to develop. Third stage: He finds her so likeable that he can devote his interests to her, which opens the door for his love to develop. Fourth stage: Their love becomes mutual when he sees that he’s likeable enough to her to be loyal to him.

Doing the limbo broadcasts to men that she has boobs, which reminds she also has a vagina. But all that advertising does little to take middle age single women closer to marriage. Maybe closer to sex and companionship, but not marriage.

So, That Horse Is Dead correctly presumes that spreading female legs under the limbo bar does not serve women well for what most hope to achieve in life.

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2438. Journey to Feminine — Group 09


To fully grasp the benefits of Femininity, one must examine how Feminism has  spread throughout intersex relations. Unaware to women, many feminist spirits underlie every relationship. We almost never pay attention to our habits unless they cause problems, and feminist habits cause more problems to their man than to the habit owner. If unmentioned by a man, which is now politically incorrect and not done too much, women thus know little about how to avoid being feminist. Of course, the truly feminine almost automatically obliterates feminist-like habits.

  1. Feminism blames men and the spirit pushes feminist-like women to compete with their man in domains he considers his own. Example: tell him HOW to do almost any task rather than WHAT to do. Competitive frustration follows. The HOW implies inadequacy, while masculinity implies the opposite. Highly feminine ladies know better.
  2. Without much contrary thought, feminist-like women find their man doesn’t measure up to feminist-defined expectations about male behavior. It leads to finger-pointing and fault-finding, which escalates over time. Mutual trust and gratitude decline. She’s prompted into nagging, which is just a higher gear for speeding a man out of her life. The bible also scorns the ‘quarrelsome wife’ in Proverbs 21:9, 21:19, 25:24, 27:15-16. Femininity discourages such waste of relationship benefits.
  3. Feminism in the home prompts women to adopt the male preference for directness and abandon the female preference of indirectness. Feminists weaken their natural influence. Even worse, men don’t appreciate women that ‘get in his face’. It makes her a competitor and he takes offense, perhaps tagging her as a nag. The feminine lady reverses doing those things; she knows better what works with a man and has little need to show off to get her way.
  4. Feminist thinking in the home inspires women to look more for their man’s imperfections rather than manly leadership and strengths. Eventually, a man tires, his respect wanes, alienation sets in, and disruption or departure follows. OTOH, the feminine lady finds gratefulness in his manly character, capability, and other blessings.
  5. Matrimony can evolve into acrimony where graciousness drowns, mutual gratefulness withers, and husbands react disruptively to wives. Where respect, courtesy, and good manners disappear from the females’ instinctive play book, then male aggression escalates. Feminine ladies intuitively know how to avoid those things and don’t let them happen.

Nowadays, the progeny of radical feminists continue to belittle and seek the demise of the feminine wife. It’s a political thing to diminish wifely influence. And so, men and women and husbands and wives are encouraged to find fault with each other and thus make no permanent alliances. It’s the war on women, realized. Even though at one time wives were the generators of American greatness by leading and encouraging their men to succeed at work, American feminists discourage more of it as a political objective.

 

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