Tag Archives: abandonment

2337. Suggestions for Raising Children — Part XI

Tactical Parenting: Encouraging Sexual Restraint

Teens Mixed with Sex. This subject is so complex that I’m foolish to tackle it. However, I’ve come this far and ….

The series just continues to grow. At this stage it takes a lot of effort to peel off the layers and expose the real meat. So, I have again broken what follows into more articles.

Background. Millions of words written and spoken and millions of parental efforts have done nothing to halt the spread of girls earning boy-approval through sexual activity. WADWMUFGAO and adolescent immaturity leads to dreadful habits and long-range effects. Such as men addicted to porn, acceptance of cheating, women exploiting sexual assets but losing in the end, and women able to find marriage but unable to keep husbands and vice versa.

Cause and Effect. That background doesn’t sound all that bad since we’re so accustomed to it. But it causes us to overlook this critical fact. Wives and not single women shape how men think and respond to female interests.

Men marry virtuous women. Virtue is based on qualities that men admire. Men discover virtues while trying to bed a woman. While she refuses, he keeps looking for weaknesses to facilitate conquest. In the process he uncovers qualities that he can admire. Virtues accumulate as he keeps trying to bed her. Eventually, virtues compound into fascination, which eventually shows up as promise he sees in her to improve his lot in life. That’s the process. The motivational forces come from elsewhere.

Men seek to marry a virtuous woman for two reasons that vary from man to man. 1) She makes him look better to both himself and his competitive peers who judge him by his ability to capture and keep a beauty (at least in his eyes). 2) Men seek maximum quality from their investment of self.

Those are subsidiary reasons. The main motivator for a man to enter marriage is that he sees promise in a woman to excite his present life and help fulfill his ambitions for the future. If she can’t or doesn’t help him that way, the lure of sex with her won’t hold him very long. Sex does not bond men, and once conquered a woman becomes expendable even for trivial reasons.

The less that men see virtue in women, the fewer that marry. Marriage enables wives to influence husbands and the male gender. IOW, the less male admiration that women earn as both individual and gender, the fewer individuals find marriage, which transmutes into less female influence with men.

As we see today, the less indirect influence that fewer and fewer successful wives win for all women, the more that single women—with girls following suit—try to win it directly by yielding sex easily and cheaply. Of course it doesn’t work as they wish it. They ignore the inborn nature of males, who have little or no interest in female matters except for sex and however else women can make themselves promising to male interests.

It translates this way. Fewer marriages today means that men can’t find enough qualities to admire in women so that they see enough promise to venture into marriage. At least not enough that they find women likeable enough to pledge masculine willingness to be loyal to what they do find.

It brings us to the teen problem. Cheap and easy sex prevents marriage. Why do teens participate? Girls have no understanding about the connection between deferred gratification and fulfillment of female hopes and dreams. They just don’t know any better, and only mom with dad’s support can change it.

Child-raising. I call it teen risk-avoidance. Teach girls how to be good wives. Let girls—with routine guidance of course but no preaching—worry about how to avoid the mistakes growing up. A girl taught successfully to keep a husband via wifely leadership by example can learn how to handle boys, bullies, men, players, boyfriends, and fiancés. Of course, that’s not all. But when mom uses it for her strategy, she will finally hit all the bases without confusing daughter about self-development, which is her own responsibility for staying out of trouble.

So, I suggest moms develop a new strategy for bringing up daughters. What women do now ain’t working, is it? (Blog readers excluded of course.) Single moms have it worst. They have to start over with 1) the mistakes they made earlier. 2) An imaginary husband to use as role model for teaching. 3) Stop blaming men generally and especially the father of their children. 4) Find the blessings within both genders, regardless of how out of touch they appear today; teach from that. Otherwise, daughters have little recourse but to duplicate moms that have not been all that successful.

I suggest moms become better wives by learning to better handle their husbands, mates, or boyfriends as applicable. Then, they can teach daughters even as early as toddlerhood about men made better by mom’s attention rather than preaching the results of sexual adventuring.

How are toddlers supposed to learn about men? Mom reminds frequently how important her husband is as both mate and father. Mom teaches toddler how and for what to show gratitude to father. Mom demonstrates that her husband outranks father on matters of importance to the child. Mom teaches how to live up to something bigger or someone higher than self. IOW, how to sacrifice oneself on the altar of loving someone. It starts directly with appreciating father and the mother inherits child’s love indirectly by doing the right thing, which a child can recognize very early in life.

When wives do better keeping fathers in the home, daughters will pay more attention to how mom does it. When mom plays the happier tunes in the feminine juke box, father wants to join in, and daughter learns to dance to those harmonies.

So, here are some reinforcing thoughts for moms. Men are pretty happy by nature when they can be satisfied by what they see and not be harangued by contrary words. What do husbands need and expect? Some examples:

  1. Frequent and convenient sex is his due, he earned it by giving up his independence. To use it against him to get her way is to enter the on-ramp to the highway.
  2. For him to continue to see her as the likeable person, woman, and wife that he married and to whom he pledged his loyalty and faithful intention.
  3. For him to see respect, gratitude, dependence, and loyalty in wife’s actions and hear the same in her words.
  4. For her to appreciate his loyalty to her alone, as she measures it from his duties and similar actions that support her interests, such as mowing the lawn, cleaning her car, earning a pay raise, saving in order to buy first home, remodeling nursery for baby on the way, voluntarily tending an infant, tending mom when she’s sick or just ‘off her feed’.
  5. For him to be frequently reminded that both his job is vital and his absence acceptable. She depends on her rescheduling ability to preserve her importance.
  6. For him to see peace throughout his home, which is easiest developed when wife manages both blame and the term out of existence in the home.
  7. For her to regularly and routinely convince him that he’s both likeable and that she’s loyal to him in all his roles as person, husband, father, employee, friend, et al.
  8. For him to witness her trying religiously to earn his admiration by making herself more important to him in whatever opportunities arise.
  9. For both to understand that forgiveness may be impossible for him but easy for her. And that forgetfulness is easy for him but virtually impossible for her.
  10. For her to bless their home with feminine dignity wrapped in calmness, patience, understanding, and forgiveness. As one woman declared, femininity adds color to a man’s B&W world.
  11. He measures her trust of him by the way her actions make her appear totally trustworthy. She actually trusts him as part of her nature that tells her to show respect.
  12. She can and is expected to generate fairness throughout the family. Equality is impossible to achieve in human relations or immediately thereafter becomes inequality. Pursuit of it disturbs peace and harmony.
  13. For him, she should. But she never understands the belittling that follows her demands or nagging that he perform ‘woman’s work’ as he defines it. (Of course it may not be fair, but it’s the male nature to draw such distinctions, and after conquest men reserve the right to define their obligations.)
  14. For him to frequently be reminded by her actions that he’s excitingly competent in bed. When teaching daughters, it’s not about sex but about intimacy, touching, feelings, successful togetherness. The promise of permanency to fulfill hopes and dreams rather than the temporariness of teen hook ups and premature destruction of hopes and dreams.

There’s an old saying that two women can’t exist in the same home. The same applies to men when wife acts like a man. Here’s another axiom: It’s the wife more than the mother who keeps the father in the home. IOW, husband outranks father; the marriage is based on husband’s investments of self before father’s responsibility was ‘inherited’. Motherhood changes a wife, when husband expects her not to change. However, husbands of good character and wives of good conscience know how to balance the potential for such husbandly conflict.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, marriage, sex differences

2296. Preventive Relationship Maintenance — 02: Background

NOTE: I distinguish these two terms. Management is the overall effect created by maintenance at lower levels within a relationship. Good maintenance consists of habits and practices that promote togetherness. Poor maintenance drives a couple apart. Preventive maintenance (PRiM) is the initiative designed to help women follow their nature, take advantage of the male nature, and produce harmony and thus guarantee good management of the home.

Whenever the subject of relationship management comes up among women, it’s because men have done wrong. Men are to blame; women are the victims. A man is expected to change; his woman is expected to suffer through whatever agonies it takes for reconciliation or separation.

All decision making shifts into her hands. He is ignorant of what to do or acts that way. She judges him wrong and that’s her decision. (I’m not arguing that he isn’t wrong; he’s certainly capable and guilty in her eyes.)

She feels compelled to blame him because she doesn’t know what else to do. She has exhausted her patience, imagination, and hope. She wants to do more but can’t figure out what will relieve whatever pressures bear upon her.

Consequently, she puts herself in control simply by blaming him. It reduces her responsibility, eases her guilt, and enables emotional release through griping, which sooner or later justifies throwing the sucker out.

When I compare their diverse natures, I’m drawn to these analogies about how the hearts and minds work in men.

Husband buys new car. The better he manages the maintenance of it, the more he’s satisfied with his effort, and the longer he keeps it. Poorer maintenance means his poor management. It translates over time to less interest in it, which generates more attention being paid to newer models, and sooner or later he gets new car fever.

All the difference revolves around his care and caring of the car. If he manages with good preventive maintenance, his actions program his heart to stay loyal to the car because he invests himself in it. Poor management and thus lack of preventive maintenance equates to less or little investment of self, which makes the car less valuable in his heart, and makes him more worthy of something newer.

Husband gets new wife. The better she manages the relationship and harmonizes the home, the more he assumes full credit as main manager, which is his major investment of self—home and not she is the vehicle equivalent. As a direct result, the more eagerly he enjoys himself by pleasing her, the longer he keeps her. (If she doesn’t come by it naturally, good management calls for PRiM (details coming later). It enables her to get what she wants with little effort just by more closely aligning her words and actions with her nature as a responsible, energized, very feminine woman.)

Poor management in the home produces poor maintenance and vice versa. It translates to her less interest in him and weakening of his, her, or mutual likeability. Weakening of likeability of one’s mate accumulates indirectly over time and leads to the 2-year glitch, 7-year itch, and 20-year ditch-and-switch attitude that can interest either or both spouses to look for a new mate.

What if she had strategies, tactics, and techniques that prevented his undesirable behavior from arising in the first place? What if she had less sharp and far fewer reasons to blame? (When relationship management is the issue, he’s much easier than she to be satisfied with their relationship.)

She can get there, become that, if she utilizes the options available with PRiM. (Options being identified and list prepared.) With PRiM she can enable and he will be encouraged to take part and become much more directly involved in sustaining their relationship at least at a level satisfactory to her.

If she does good maintenance, her likeability remains high in his eyes. His actions that support her program his heart to remain loyal to her. If he loses faith, respect, or confidence in her ability—e.g., to keep their relationship on an even keel as he envisioned when he proposed, or on her lack of ability to maintain harmony—then her appeal deteriorates. Newer models aka other babes become more easily noticeable wherever he looks.

But how does good maintenance work? Of course it varies between couples and depends on the woman. It’s her words and especially actions that trigger responses in her man that promote his desire to please himself by pleasing her. Phrased as if from inside him, he does whatever it takes to keep from offending her.

Next, choices.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, How she wins, sex differences

2259. Compatibility Axioms #831-840

831. How females play the sex game dominates the lifestyle of males. Men keep trying to make frequent and convenient sex more easily available. The less loosely women play the game, aka withhold sex, the more men try harder to earn a woman’s acceptance of his worth to her. [284]

832. Low morality promotes a male-friendly culture at cost to female-friendliness. [284]

833. When morality declines, men operate with less female influence. It helps further downgrade social and domestic values, standards, and expectations toward masculine interests. [284]

834. The weaker that women stand up for feminine values, standards, and expectations, the less enchanting their lives become. It creates both social and domestic power vacuums and energizes men to take advantage. [284]

835. Females giving in to ever-increasing male social pressure forces women to reshape the lifestyle of females and children contrary to the instinct and intuition of mothers. [284]

836. Men giving in to ever-increasing female pressures forces men to reshape the lifestyle of males into greater agreement and friendliness with females and their unique interests. [284]

837. If conveying her wants, needs, and desires outweigh his satisfactions about their sex life, she’s not likely to get far without the tenderest charm and diplomacy. [286]

838. She’s in charge of their relationship. Not because he’s incapable, but because he lacks knowledge of her, and men often go to extremes to hide that lack. Moreover, men lack both interest and skill for relationship management. [286]

839. He sees little need for more than he already provides in love making. So, if she’s not satisfied, coaching him may help. However, nurturing demeans and teaching tends to humiliate him, so unique female indirectness and patience are required to resolve her dilemma. [286]

840. Any discussion of their sexual shortcomings can push him toward consequences, up to and including abandonment. It can come without her being aware of what’s coming. [286]


Filed under courtship, Culture & Politics, sex differences

2202. Respect: The Lady’s Side

It’s very common. Everyone proclaims they respect others. But too much shortage exists or relationships of every kind would be better.

You have to live with men and hopefully with one successfully. Without respecting them, it ain’t gonna happen. Real men have no use for anyone, women especially, who disrespect them or fail to show the respect they expect. (Check out the Manosphere by Eric in tomorrow’s post.)

Showing respect begins with first encounter. Perhaps contrary to your intent, flirting does not show respect; it just shifts any man’s interest to sex and diverts his attention away from your appeal as possible mate. Not terminal but not beneficial either. (See footnote about first encounters.)

Dating and courtship exist to enable you to display and prove your respect of men. Why? Because men won’t pay attention to you (except for sex) until they see signs of respect. Or stay with you unless well respected. Each date and courtship event together is another opportunity for you.

Your respect for a man unlocks the door to his ambitions (aka emotions to you) and his intentions (aka pursuit to you). Doesn’t mean he’s all that interested, but without you unlocking the door he stays fixated on sex or turns elsewhere.

Detecting your respect, he can then offer up his loyalty and his likeability to you. It’s his gift; he lets you see him in all his masculine glory, aka his vision of being lovable and just right for you. He seeks to earn your loyalty and enjoy your likeability, aka his interpretation of love. He’s not looking for love as you express it and expect to see yours matched. He’s intent on convincing you of his worthiness either for you or for sex. To keep him focused away from sex is to keep him focused on you as possible mate.

Other than that, you have little to do with relationship development except to make yourself more loyal and likeable in his eyes, which means to let your respect grow for him. You should be yourself and not interfere with his presenting what he offers—unless he turns you off. (Sex excluded, of course, as it definitely interferes.)

If he’s not loyal and likeable to you, he’s not good enough. Measure him by those factors; he measures you by them. They’re what he’s selling and figures you will buy.

Originating at birth, your primal motivational force is to earn a sense of your importance. Successful relationships begin by respecting the male gender and one special man. (If you don’t respect the gender, your man too often in your mind becomes one of ‘them’.) Your showing respect is both action and accomplishment that confirms to your heart that you’re important as a person, sweetheart, girlfriend, woman, friend, mate, or wife, which energizes you to make yourself even more important to others.

Women don’t need respect as men do. In early stages of relationships, you rely more on instinct, intuition, and infatuation. From that base you do things to please both your man and yourself. Pleasing him confirms your importance to yourself and hopefully to him. Pleasing yourself programs your heart with the appropriateness of what you do. IOW, the more you do for him, the more you love him. Your heart won’t let you invest yourself without figuratively patting you on the head and saying Well Done, young lady.

Women should pay more attention to this natural paradox. The more respect you show to a man, the less feedback you need to confirm your importance. (Funny how that works, isn’t it? God knew what He was doing.) Moreover, the more you respect yourself, think mirror time, the more you’re able to respect others. It also means that the more mirror time, the less you need others to sustain your spirit and morale.

Blame weakens respect. The more that women blame men, individually and collectively, the less that men sense womanly respect, which weakens manly respect for both female gender and individuals, which weakens masculine love of women, which makes men more self-centered, which brings out their aggressive side, which turns them toward violence and victimizing females. It all starts with the finger of blame pointed at men because women seek to change them and they refuse to change as women expect it.

Men, OTOH, try to offer up their loyalty and likeability in exchange for the same from women, but women won’t accept them as is, which means they don’t respect them as is, which means that men don’t much care what happens after that.

If you want to be respected and loved by a man, he must be respected, and you are in charge of that regardless of how unrespectable you view his behavior. You always have the option of not respecting him with the consequence that you lose whatever love he has for you. It’s easily proved with the finger of blame.

When women individually and collectively demonstrate respect, men quit blaming women and learn to follow the female lead. They fall in line with whatever values and standards women impose and religiously expect, such as strong sense of family responsibility.

After paying the price of respecting him, you only need to decide if his loyalty and likeability can be made mutual with your expectations while he determines the same thing. That’s the shortest version of relationship development.

By using respect as your empowering first principle, you are naturally prepared to generate mutual loyalty and likeability and thus develop compatible if not fully successful relationships. It works as surely in dating and courtship as it used to work all across American society.


**First encounter may well be a man’s hitting on you. It’s a compliment that you have either sex or mating appeal. You get to choose to listen or not. Listening sends a message of respect, which I propose. Refusal sends the opposite.

You listen, smile, and show interest in what he says. You let him hold your attention—preferably eyeball to eyeball to confirm your courage—while he presents himself for you to consider buying what he says. Do the same earnestly, sincerely, and habitually with all men. Then make your decision each time.

If it’s beyond a polite self-introduction, say a bold hit, then listen and get bolder to reject him. Bold but not insulting rejection—after listening sincerely—adds to your respect for him and his gender. Your anger or rapid escape to avoid listening to his compliment shows disrespect for both him and his gender. It also may lead you away from some good men who are sincere in the compliment that is the foundation for their hit.


Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, sex difference

2190. Anorexics, Suicides, et al. — Part 5: Self-image

Outside of adult supervision that interferes, self-image governs a child’s life just as it does with each of us older kids. It guides us to do what we can do, avoid what we can’t do, and makes sense of everything else on our own behalf.

However, the heart of this series promotes and encourages moms to help children to like themselves better.

Deeply embedded but floating on the foundation of self-esteem, a child’s self-image also contains the personally identified conviction of what and who he is and how well or unwell he likes himself. It ranges high, low, or in between. He’s not conscious about it that way. He just feels wanted and worthy about himself, terribly unwanted and unworthy, or somewhere in between. His attitude most of the time reflects his conviction.

A constant attitude of unworthiness suggests a child is headed toward self-destructive behavior. A significantly and constantly enjoyable sense of ample worthiness suggests the opposite.

Mom’s job: Make her child have an even greater sense of worthiness as he perceives it. How?

Short of scolding, provide guidance through loving, educating, training, leading, coaching, advising, preaching, suggesting, and hinting that encourages him to try harder, plunge deeper, and in his own way overcome obstacles. The more he does it his way and without direct help, the more meaningful, admirable, and enhancing to his sense of worthiness as he perceives himself.

This series aims to encourage mothers to drop the ineffective help concocted under the label of self-esteem and show kids how to take care of themselves at a maturity level that moves upward slightly ahead of current age. I provide some ideas and tips.

Don’t demand, guide. Don’t condemn, abide. Enable children to learn to accomplish more. Boys thus learn to habitually work; girls thus learn to habitually add to their importance. Both are born to love learning when they get to do it their way aka self-development. Motherly sensitivity enables moms to make adjustments for individuals, while also using peaceful methods to teach kids to follow family values and standards. Kids want to be flexible when well guided.

They can anticipate before they participate, please self first while respecting others, please others as appropriate, respect everyone, accept responsibility as right thing to do, boldly answer for mistakes, hold self accountable (ill feelings) for not fulfilling responsibility, depend on self-praise to uplift spirits, know temper flare-ups as unacceptable, accept greater responsibility as maturity grows, earn respect instead of seeking to be liked, learn difference between selfish and self-centered, and solve their own problems until they absolutely need help.

Success handling each incident above is an accomplishment doing what parents like to witness, which makes them like themselves too.

Children can accept new responsibility and stand ready to be held accountable. For example, toddler boys can be taught to make their bed and keep their rooms up to mom’s expectations under this process. Assign him the responsibility, teach the rudiments, and let him set the standards of his performance for the first few months or even years.Mom, don’t complain while you gently guide his habit and standard to grow alongside his maturing. Someday he will meet your expectation.

To please mom from first day, is to earn some admiration, which he can at a young age transmute into self-admiration. It means that pleasing mom earns her admiration and he likes himself better. Not from what she says but what he does.

It’s how men come to love their work; they learn early the habit to please themselves by fulfilling their responsibility, their duty. It helps build the best of masculine habits. As the saying goes, the man who loves his job never has to go to work. It all arises out of manly motivation of seeking self-admiration until satisfaction sets in. It can work in a boy’s bedroom, but perhaps not up to his love of doing it. But duty has the same effect, men like and often love to do their duty to the point they often do it without notice.

If you desire more detail about self-image, almost a dozen articles are scattered with that term in the title.

Children have ambitions to be liked. Also embedded in self-image are factors surrounding ambitions but by another name, self-interest. It’s next.

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2118. Compatibility Axioms #591-600

591. Unmarried sex causes couples to over-commit and under-connect. [212]

592. Her value continues upward increasingly to every man that chases her, until she yields. People instinctively value more highly what they can’t have than what they gain and then ‘own’. [212]

593. Everybody makes mistakes. Recovery is everything, and virtual virginity enables it for past sexual mistakes/experience. [212]

594. Avoiding life as an ex comes much easier to the woman that elevates and honors her sexual assets even above marriage. [212]

595. By her refusing to have unmarried sex, she forces a man to prove himself worthy of her and capable of fulfilling her expectations for home and family. If it doesn’t work that way, then he’s after sex and not her. [212]

596. Scoring with a hard-to-get woman elevates a man’s sense of significance, but it’s more ego than conviction, more temporary than permanent, more fun than bond. [212]

597. The woman that a man respects and honors adds to his convicted sense of significance, whether they are sex partners or not. That is, he’s more satisfied with himself by treating her more respectably/honorably.[212]

598. Refusing to have sex with an attractive man requires womanly strength of character to keep from turning him off. Hard-headed feminine gentleness helps and self-dedication wins. [212]

599. A woman’s biggest challenge is to keep from being eager or desperate to have a boyfriend, dates, hubby, or sex, or whatever else she thinks she has to have for the short term. [212]

600. Women seek affection and fear abandonment. Uncrossed legs before marriage is not mutually bonding, which short-circuits affection and increases likelihood of being dumped sooner or later.  [213]


Filed under How she wins

1780. Sex Difference Redux—Part 34: Cheat and Talk or Walk?

She cheats and he walks. He cheats and she wants to talk. When she starts, he wants to walk. The sexes differ greatly when infidelity rears its head. The same natural differences exist and govern behavior with other issues, so I broaden this spotlight to include whatever falls under the wifely concept of needful relationship maintenance.

Husbands and wives don’t see the same problems nor recognize them as described by the other. Consequently, when any negative issue first comes up, specific things happen automatically and quickly. Without considering consequences, the couple immediately shifts from the cooperation arena to the competition ring. As one lady states, describing a marital problem causes “more fire than peace.”

Wife thinks offensively with these thoughts: Husband should listen to her and take seriously that he is expected to help resolve their issues. She uses this technique, but it isn’t enough: Without expressing it directly or by accepting blame herself, she expects him to face up to some problem that she identifies as needful for him to fix or assist her. He’s surprised. To him, relationships don’t need to be managed. If he were cheating, she shouldn’t know about it. So, what’s likely his response when she first complains or explains?

He gets defensive at the sound of round one in the competition ring. His immediate defensive reactions include these: He dislikes himself for being caught off guard. As we all do, his next action is to makes him feel good about himself. But, he runs into an internal debate. His sense of guilt rises for having let his marriage sour, if true as wife says. Even if well-intentioned, wife’s inquiries morph into accusations that conflict with his innate sense of independence. (He didn’t have to listen to sour and surprising complaints when he didn’t have a wife, or so his nature keeps him persuaded.)

Women wonder. Don’t husbands know when their relationships need work? Don’t they have the ability that women have to detect, repair, or at least talk about issues? The answer is: No, they are naturally different but trainable before wife brings up relationship issues. After that, wife loses the ability to train husband. Why? Bringing up issues shifts her into the competitive ring, and his nature requires that he not lose to a competitor if he can possibly avoid it.

Moreover, men don’t talk about issues such as infidelity, trust, and money. They are producers, providers, protectors, and problem solvers. They focus on action and depend upon themselves to make the most out of life and marriage. Talking isn’t their forte; that’s the way of women and heaven forbid a guy would initiate such a thing unless he’s asking for help.

Or, perhaps men do know and decide to remain quiet? Usually, husbands don’t know, at least the way wife sees it. If he marries her, in his mind the future is solidly problem free. He knows he won’t be changing, expects that she might or will, and therefore any marital problems arise from her becoming a different person than he married. Moreover, men don’t like surprises, especially the marital kind. IOW, he expects harmony without even trying very hard and dislikes disharmony for fear he caused it and for fear of losing any debate to his wife.

Nevertheless, women don’t know better. Their nature pushes them to force the issue; they have to encourage dialogue. Men know they can’t win against someone who can pinpoint their every fault, real or imagined. After arguing to see how complete is the wife’s picture of his faults, at some point husbands discontinue, retreat, and finally withdraw. Better that than lose to her. No sense staying where a man can never win.

Remember, all of the above is built on a couple’s instinctive but diverse natures. I describe what’s behind the default setting of the male heart when the need for relationship management is brought up by wife. Neither is right, neither is wrong, but women are in charge. They either initiate the talk or swallow pride and manage the relationship with other female skills. Dialogue works the fastest but it’s also the easiest to drive husband away. Silence, indirectness, patience, and other female skills work the slowest but also work the best to keep husband around for many years.


NOTE: This article was triggered by Her Highness Princess, the lady mentioned above. She acknowledged and I confirmed that men “don’t have the ability women have to detect and repair” relationship issues.

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