Her Highness MLaRowe inspired this article. She posited that mothers and grandmothers determine how well kids turn out. When they “taught them the right way”, the kids are likeable and turn out well. She’s absolutely right and I back her up.
But I caution: Peers shape personality, mothers shape character. Of the two, the rest of us appreciate character more than personality.* It makes all the difference in adulthood. Well-turned out kids may or may not make well-turned out adults. Smart mothers hope for both but in the end appreciate the latter more than the former.
I describe what was subliminally recognized in old school and now ignored. The feminists demeaned female nature and subtracted from the natural value of mothers. They did so to transform the political value of females. Just part of feminist propaganda that promoted Leftist and anti-American goals.
The stronger as female, more feminine as woman, and more conscientious as mother, the better her children turn out. No doubt in my mind that God designed females that way. You don’t have to believe in God; just in the premise that mothers by the glory of pregnancy and birth live up to something bigger than themselves—whether infant, God, child’s father, parents, personal dreams, or all of the above.
God created us, loves each equally, endows each with free will, and empowers us to develop ourselves into what we want to become. Mothers do the same. Thus, giving birth is a godly act in human form. God gave us the moral and religious guidance to lead the good life. Mothers have that guidance and everyone else wishes they would use it, seeing as how it turns out better kids and adults with whom the rest of us must live among.
Duplicating God, mom gives her children free will as soon as they can handle it. And that’s the crux. Mom has the God-like power to send her children into life according to the level of maturity they have reached on any and every given day. Children, being self-developers need and respond to good guidance (think morality, religion, biblical principles) rather than frustrated dictates (think mom with little or no guidance or poor upbringing by her mom).
Mom sacrifices herself because she doesn’t put herself first. Each good mother lives up to someone or something bigger or higher than herself. Just that process makes her a better person, out of which comes a better woman, out of which comes a better mother, out of which comes better children provided mom helps them develop themselves to become better adults rather than just better kids.
Most of which mom determines and manages successfully or unsuccessfully before puberty, after which her ability diminishes significantly.
WADWMUFGAO. Only mothers are directly committed to feeling good by dedicating themselves to the raising of better children and grandchildren. And often through great sacrifice.** (Father helps but compared to mom, he’s pretty insignificant except as mom may stumble or tumble inadequately.)
Men don’t, but women need both morality and religion. It’s their source for the guidance they need to raise good children. Seeing the influence of women on society and the exemplary American success in the 1830s, Tocqueville said: “morals are the work of woman.” Toddlers are sponges created for absorption, and no one but mom knows how to fill up and wring out her toddler-sponge.
We have another part to this story—character vs. personality. That is, values and standards taught by mom versus pressures and expectations to be ‘accepted and belong’ as required by peers, especially those encountered after puberty.
Three major results end up shaping the adult from mom’s start up. All develop simultaneously. I separate then for simplicity.
Character as shaped before puberty based on the values and standards inculcated by mom. The more that moral and religious guidance prompts mom in her teachings, the stronger and more reliable is the character of the child-turned-adult. The need for mom to lead by example can’t be overstated. (Ditto for father in order to justify mom’s legitimacy in matters of authority.)
Self-development as shaped before puberty by the child and his self-interest, self-confidence, determination, and ambition while he associates with his parents, siblings, teachers, and peers. A child exercises his free will to the extent of his desire and willingness of others to accept how, who, and what he wants to be now and later. The more prominent his desire and behavior to be like adults rather than tweens or teens, the better the job mom is doing by imparting values, standards, and her subliminal expectations.
NOTE: Kids are hardwired to be different from everyone else, both personality- and character-wise. Parents’ behavior expectations such as “why can’t you be more like (sibling)” are more damaging than productive. Such comparison comments convince a child they are inadequate, which can follow for life.
Personality as shaped into final form after puberty by associating and seeking success with peers. Accepting and adopting peer values and expectations works as if a vacuum. The stronger the character developed with mom’s earlier guidance, the less the vacuum effect and greater the natural resistance to teen peer pressures and expectations. The weaker a child’s adult-like character, then the more prone to accepting and adopting adolescent and adult-unfriendly behaviors, and the more likely he becomes an adultolescent—permanently frayed around the edges of his behavior: physical adult but mental adolescent.
Consequently, the hand that rocks the cradle rocks the world and as women go so goes society—but as mothers go is a more precise statement. MLaRowe has it right.
OP-ED: If we should ever decide to restore the glory due to motherhood, we should start with getting rid of t-shirts over pregnant bellies. Let’s restore expectant motherhood to its high place in family and society. Put prospective mothers in unique and pretty attire, such as smocks used to do and feminine modesty amplified that pregnant-only glow on her face.
Why focus the attention on the baby before birth? It’s more proper to honor her well-earned, easily recognized, extraordinary glow over many months. She earns and should receive it. Not for delivery but for moving pleasantly forward on such a salutary achievement.
Honor expectancy first; father did it but she gets all the glory. Honor delivery second; mom did it and infant gets all the attention while mom get virtually no more except sore. So, pay it forward for mom before delivery. Attention for the infant awaits its dramatic appearance.
Mothers deserve far more respectful attention out of the rest of us than they are getting.
*Now, if we’d just learn to vote for character rather than personality, we might be able to save America and Western civilization.
**Just an aside about a mom’s sacrifice: If you’ve not seen it, try “Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story.”