Tag Archives: adults

421. He won’t play second fiddle — Part 2


This model complements the previous post (#420) and works to raise kids and keep husband playing first fiddle.

Husband and kids register and travel first class in a woman’s heart. But, in her mind, she sees and treats them very differently as only a good wife-mother can.

The kids continually see that husband and wife live and travel in first class. They enjoy unearned high status, unearned rights, unearned privileges, unearned gratifications, unearned powers, and private time together. They need not explain or defend their authority. Their adult world holds many benefits, as mystified kids view it.   

Adult privileges and powers are purposely, I say again, purposely limited in coach, where kids live and travel. They should be challenged continually to earn greater status, rights, privileges, gratifications, powers, and private time.

Well-raised children aspire to become adults. They expect to earn enough to pay the fare, and then become eligible for first class life with a mate.

However, if treated as adults in childhood, elevated to first class as children, they aspire to just be grown up. As adults they continue to act immaturely, because they learned as kids that that’s good enough.

Consequently, two good reasons exist for this model. First, it keeps husband from playing second fiddle, which enhances his sense of importance, which welds his sense of significance unto his family.

Second, it prevents elevating kids to adult status, stature, and unearned respect. This makes them more eager to learn how to become an adult, instead of becoming convinced they already know how.

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303. Weans, tweens, and teens, #11 — Immature kids


Immature adults emerge from this background: Kids enter puberty with empty minds primed to vacuum up adolescent values that produce these characteristics in adulthood:

·        Action comes before responsibility.

·        Self-centeredness overpowers ‘us’.

·                   Good intentions explain away lack of results.

·        Taking risks overrides common sense.

·        Others must earn my respect.

·        Popularity is more important than character.

·        Symbols are as good as substance.

·        Sex outweighs fidelity.

·        Parental supervision offends.

·        Wisdom resides in my peers.

They get that way from poor parenting in the weans and tweens. The following point to impending immaturity when present at puberty.

They lack:

o   A good work ethic and strong sense of personal responsibility.

o   Religious beliefs and moral convictions that guide them toward living up to something bigger than themselves.

o   Dependence upon parents for wisdom, guidance, support, back up.

o   Respect for authority and authority figures.

o   A foundation of unconditional respect for all people.

o   Ambitions (underdeveloped) for their own adult life. Not necessarily what they want to do, but expectations and preferably dreams of living in the adult world of responsibility, work, mature fun, family building.

They have:

o   Dreams of becoming a teen instead of an adult. They focus on peers, popularity, fashions, outside-the-family activities, and earlier duplication of older kids.  

o   Respect others only for what they can do for the child.

o   Self-centeredness. Selfishness comes easily to them. Their heart is soft for peers, but hard for most others.

o   A mother that did not nurture the child well in the weans, a father that did not lead well in the tweens, or both.

They exit adolescence with convicted beliefs that values learned in the teens are right and proper for adult life. This happens for one reason: They entered puberty with a mind empty of mature adult, albeit underdeveloped, values into which they expected to grow.  

[More about childhood mental growth appears in posts 268, 239, 223, 208, 197, 193, 192, 187, 178, and 177. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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120. Choices determine life


First, the way we dress plays a major role in how we behave. People judge behavior. Therefore, our attire and grooming generate judgments about us, and people act on those judgments when they deal with us.

Second, we are who we associate with. So, dressing like our peers catalogues us. It breeds stereotypes. As mother so correctly stated, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

Third, dressing up improves part of one’s appearance, so it brings self-gratitude, which brings happiness with oneself, which improves the picture one has of oneself, which breeds self-confidence and greater ability to deal successfully with others.

Fourth, when women dress up they make my world prettier. Of course, women respond that they care little about brightening this man’s world, but I’m not the only man out there. If women don’t want to light up the world men live in, men are released to uglify in their own style. In the end, the way women dress and groom themselves shapes the real world for all of us.   

A WOMAN DRESSES AND GROOMS HERSELF:

©      For comfort to please herself.

©      With class to show her self-confidence.

©      Prettily to feel good about herself.

©      Distinctly to attract a man’s attention.

©      Sloppily if she just doesn’t care.

 ©      As a hottie to avoid being called a nottie.

©      Femininely if she wants respect and recognition for who she is.

©      Professionally if she works proudly in her job.

©      Masculinely if she’s bitch or butch.

 ©      Gaudily if she’s weak at reading other people or insensitive to or disdainful of their judgments.

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