Tag Archives: agenda

317. What daughters never hear — Section 08


Dear Daughter,

♂2♀  Society: What people do. Culture: Why people do what they do. As women go, so goes society, because women dominate home and culture. Men dominate workplace and society.

♂2♀  Self-respect and duty slut are mutually exclusive.

♂2♀  His love is based on respect for her, and lack of her self-respect sours his love.

♂2♀  A woman without self-respect can’t hold a man.

♂2♀  Some men tear down their woman’s self-respect. Permitting it makes him more dominant and less respectful of her, when his love is based on respect for her.  

♂2♀  Perception is reality. Whatever appears to be, is. You’ll be judged not on what you do, but on what people convince themselves that you do.

♂2♀  Women compete with women. Men compete with men. That’s why women call promiscuous women ‘slut’ long before men.

♂2♀  Mistakes are many, so recovery is everything. Virtual virginity can turn one’s life around. (More at post 294. Also see CONTENTS page at blog top.)

♂2♀  Sex differences make room for compatibility. Sex likenesses—that is, lack of gender differences—make room for competition. Too much likeness breeds incompatibility.

♂2♀  Everything is relative to something or somebody else. This does not alter fact and truth, except as some people distort both to advance their agenda.

[More What Daughters Never Hear are listed in CONTENTS page at top of blog.]

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266. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am! — Post 1 of 5


SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♫ Their natures and interests differ markedly on this subject. He’s made one way, she’s made another. She wants them to be more alike, he wants them to just get on with it.

♫ Women nurture, men lead. Women want to be nurtured in their sex life, but men don’t nurture well. It makes them feel feminized, wussified.

♫ Her needs for attention and affection are minor compared to his need for acceptance as sex partner—that is, if she’s to be a keeper. 

♫ His primal motivations are conqueror’s role before and conqueror’s rights after their first sex together. Conquest itself must have pleased her, or she would not have yielded. So, why should anything else be needed?

♫ Male sensitivity about his sexual prowess exceeds female willingness to complain. Women intuitively know this. So, they complain to sister females rather than to their man.

♫ Men are on a mission to deliver love with a prepackaged agenda. Virtual virginity forces him to repackage himself with consideration for other things such as her personal preferences. (See post 248 about virtual virginity.)

♫ Women can talk about it—to other women, that is. But, talking to their man requires more caution and indirectness than that used in international diplomacy and negotiation, where phrases can sometimes have double, different, or even opposite meanings.

♫ It takes a lot of time and desire for a man to figure her out physically. He’s too preoccupied with figuring her out mentally and emotionally.

As we have seen, men should be more considerate of female wants, needs, and desires. However, human nature often interferes

NOTE: Thanks to her highness at beyondjems.wordpress.com. Her comments prompted me to start this series.

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223. Weans, tweens, and teens #8 — Self-interest


Self-interest motivates adults. It flows out of three sequential stages in childhood. However, I ignore those subsets here to address the bigger, broader, and more vital self-interest itself. The subsetts come later.

☺ Self-interest is the totality of what’s important to each person as they define and weigh everything in life against their inner self. The following process lasts for life or until accident, drugs, or dementia kill it.

·        Our subconscious mind merges and integrates our instincts, self-worth, and self-image with our consciously derived hopes, aspirations, and fears.

·        This programs the subconscious mind with self-interest that motivates its owner. (Research shows that over 99% of human behavior is generated out of the subconscious mind. See more at post 193.)   

☺ Self-interest motivates each individual constantly and throughout life. It drives the bus of a person’s behavior. It’s the subconscious and conscious power behind our efforts.

☺ Life is filled with tradeoffs to do what we want and don’t want, need and don’t need, fear and don’t fear. Self-interest guides us through the maze.

☺ If something’s not in our self-interest, our subconscious turns us away from it. If in our self-interest, our subconscious moves us toward it.

☺ No one reveals their complete or true self to others. That’s why everyone has hidden agendas.

☺ People make mistakes not in their best interests.  Correction or recovery then becomes a new ingredient in self-interest. Childhood marvelously demonstrates the process.

Raising kids is all about guiding a child through programming of self-interest. This post introduces the subject, The subsets show up in posts 239, 268, and 273.

[More about childhood mental growth appears in posts 208, 197, 193, 192, 187, 178, and 177. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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113. Sex is iffy.


When fascination, infatuation, lust, respect, and love fade for a woman, men resort to character and nature. Women usually suffer consequences with roots in their first sex together.

The male mind set comes in all shapes and sizes. But, like women, they have their own set of expectations. Unfortunately for women, masculine expectations lean toward conquest more than relationship stability. That’s evident in the way men change after conquest of a woman.

If he won’t honor her values, standards, and expectations before conquest, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t make himself worthy of her before conquest, instead of her becoming worthy of him, he likely won’t afterward.

If he won’t romance her before they get into foreplay and intercourse, he likely won’t learn to do it for their future together. [See post #33, ‘Romance Gap’ is all about her.]

If he’s the buyer and she’s the seller before marriage, look out for the dump that’s likely coming.  

If she’s not the seller to his buyer role after marriage, she’s likely qualifying herself for abandonment.

If she expects his devotion, remember that it arises from what he does for her, not what she does for him.

If she yields to him, she should expect conqueror’s rights to kick in. First, he takes charge of their sexual agenda.

If she expects to be a big trophy for him: The harder to get, the bigger the trophy.

If she expects her feminist leanings, attitude, and political expectations to override his natural masculine behaviors, her value to him will diminish over time.

If after they marry she waters down her help, support, gratitude, and encouragement for who and what he is, she may also want to research where the local exes recovery group is meeting. 

 

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66. Hard-hearted Hannah


A woman easily kills her relationship when she exhibits female weaknesses that harden her heart for cooperation and soften her head into competing with her man. Weaknesses follow:

♥ Facetiousness prompted by fear of being wrong.

♥ Hatefulness prompted by dislike of herself.

♥ Selfishness never untaught to her in childhood.

♥ Busyness pursuing her personal rather than their agenda.

♥ Fussiness inspired by desire for perfection.

♥ Bitchiness that flows from envy, jealousy, and similar emotions related to others.

♥ Fearsome brought on by mistakes that she thinks might be repeated endlessly. 

Quarrelsomeness that emerges from her desire to drive their bus.

♥ Untidiness, the nesting merits of which she was never taught in childhood.

♥  Loneliness imagined when he’s not alongside her.

♥ Lonesomeness caused by husband’s absence at work.

♥ Moodiness that flows from inability to control events to her satisfaction.

♥ Carelessness prompted by weak sense of responsibility.

♥ Sloppiness that reflects badly on husband to his friends and competitors.

♥ Phoniness energized by fear of her true character being found out.

♥ Political correctness brought on by sense of being victimized.

♥ Unfaithfulness that boils in oil her man’s sense of significance.

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61. Why he doesn’t hear her—Part II


Men don’t listen to men about dealing with women. It’s a principle that stems from their competitive natures and opposing personas. Each man knows best how he will treat each kind of woman he encounters. If necessary, he’ll fake it until he makes it. Each man expects that ultimately one woman with feminine skills will finally settle him down to his rewards as husband and father.  

Men don’t listen to women about dealing with women. Again, it’s the masculine nature, but the unstated messages he hears and the unintended consequences mislead women.

She says, “You are not as courteous as I desire,” and he also hears “…and I expect you to change.” Or, she says, “You can do better,” and he hears, “…and you’d better.” Or, she says, “We need to dress up for this affair tonight,” and he hears, “…your wardrobe needs updating.” He hears that she expects him to change. Resistance sets in, and her words don’t register as she intends.

This is especially true, if they’ve had their first sex together. If she’s unconquered by him, however, the effect differs. He hears, he heeds, and he modifies his behavior in whatever way he thinks will advance his agenda for bed time together. He may or may not change to please her or as she hoped. However he changes, spread out over time, will likely become habitual. Long sex-free courtships accumulate more habitual changes that please her.

Men seldom hear what their woman says, unless certain conditions attach to show respect and gratefulness for him and what he does. Examples are described as ‘nessies’ in post #59 and options in #60 below.

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A Guy Note: In this blog it makes no sense to itemize what men should do or be like, or what women expect from their man. No one has correct answers except each woman dealing with each man. It’s always up to her to finely balance and fine tune their respective agendas into their mutual agenda.  

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