Tag Archives: aging

Blog 2252 — Her Wrinkles are Good

Her Highness Beloved at 2251 probably doesn’t realize she paid me the kindest compliment. She enabled me to think through a troublesome problem, that of wives blaming loss of husbands on female aging. I use facial wrinkles as the most prominent symbol that women use of their aging.

The sexes age very differently. For this article, I reduce it to two major causes and effects. She loses her youthful appearance and tries to restore it. He loses his sexual ability and tries to rejuvenate it. Out of shame, ignorance, and lack of concern of the other’s nature, they don’t try to compensate together but instead do unhelpful things for their marriage.

Sir Eric recently pointed out that men are primarily attracted to youthful looking females with narrow waists that produce an ‘hour-glass’ appearance. True, but those two factors take on a simpler role in marriage. (She’s already conquered and his urge to conquer others is quieted by marital obligation.)

Her youthfulness is a major part of the glue of their togetherness; it reminds him of his youthful capability or what he wishes he still had. She’s great to have around as reminder of what he once was and had for looks and ability. He sees her change, more from mature actions than appearance. Her wrinkles are not central, just a very small part of her morphing image. Nowhere near the importance that she gives them.

Nevertheless, she blames her wrinkles as losing her beauty and believes that he—were he not so considerate—also thinks the same. Consequently, women overreact about wrinkle development. They easily get lost hoping to find a way to ease their personal pain in hope of assuaging husband’s regret which doesn’t exist.

Her hour-glass waist attracts primarily for sex. Her body attracts his. She’s great to have around as reminder of what he once was and had in bed. Body wrinkles don’t interfere much with sex. The really important things to men don’t change that much with age: lips, vagina, clitoris, eyes, ears, hair, breasts, plus cute or appealing mannerisms she displays during sex. Body wrinkles interfere with touch, perhaps, but a man’s body is also changing before his eyes and aging becomes acceptable with adjustments to expectations.

The Wifely Dilemma. That’s the surface but not the whole story. It deserves expansion of thought because women use wrinkles as an alibi for being cheated on or abandoned. IOW, they let wrinkles motivate them to do wrong things for marriage.

  • Female vanity has a natural purpose. By paying close attention to making herself look her best, she learns to live with, deal with, and adjust to accepting the wrinkling that comes with age. The absence of daily attention, facial care, and mirror time turns wrinkles into a much bigger deal than warranted. (The more they are looked at, the less important they become.)
  • Youthful appearance attracts and holds a man’s interest because it helps justify loving her. Tiny waist attracts him sexually and sex with her confirms his continued interest and love. (Unsuccessful sex casts doubt on his decisions about loving her. I know, women don’t let unsuccessful sex stop their loving their man. But men love very differently from women.)
  • Gracious aging reminds a husband how smart he was to team up with her. She continues to be the gal for whom he gave up his independence. (When husband thinks about his or her aging, wrinkles play no part; too many other things are more important to the masculine side of married life.)
  • As couples age, other emotional connections develop and reinforce a marriage around other than youthful appearance. The sexual hopes and dreams of men do not age but their sex drive declines. So, late in marriage, a thin waist is more appealing to a husband than a youthful face, which means that wrinkles don’t damage the marital landscape nearly as much as overeating for many years.
  • The husbandly view of wives fits this model for life. When they met, he found her emotionally attractive, loyal and likeable as a promising fit for his personality and ambitions, and married her on that basis. Her sexual attractiveness held him spellbound until conquest and subsequent sexual relations reinforced her likeability. Simple, two factors. 1) Her loyalty and likeability confirmed his love and brought him into marriage. 2) Their sexual relations confirm his wisdom about 1).
  • As they age, youthfulness and waist size merge to become part of their relationship. 1) Her loyalty and likeability continue to hold him and wrinkles play no part. 2) Sexual relations deteriorate with his aging and he forever looks for ways to restore his vigor with imaginative prods to his libido. Her sexual ability doesn’t age although her interest may, which may discourage her from helping husband restore his sexual thought and vitality in bed.
  • Husbands neither dump wives nor chase trophies because of wrinkles, so wives do better when they rethink their relationship management style and practice and perhaps calm their ego in the process.
  • Men take aging as inevitable and wrinkles for granted. Of course, women can’t stand being taken for granted, and so they imagine all kinds of spousal discrimination as they pass through middle age and into senior-ville. It’s wasted effort; far better for wives to focus on more meaningful shortcomings that may have crept into their marital persona.
  • Women resent their wrinkles as taking away their beauty. Nature works quite contrary to that. It compensates and better than a face lift too. Men see it this way. Face lifts may remove wrinkles but they also remove lines that add character that nature uses to replace youthfulness with dignity and virtuous maturity. Men prefer signs of strong character to faux youthfulness. They can’t respect what appears to be phony and face lifts produce that impression however subliminal it may be.
  • Wives like to believe that men abhor wrinkles. It provides an alibi. Changes in appearance due solely to aging are beyond her responsibility, so she has an excuse for letting both appearance and relationship deteriorate as if caused by aging. She can blame him as finding fault with her aging and ignore the other things that displease husbands.
  • Woman-think does not make men think like women. That her appearance changes solely from aging means little to men. However, husbands begrudge bad habits that produce less desire for sex or that make them appear as suckers or worse to their masculine peer competitors.
  • If men ever claim a lady’s wrinkles to be offensive, something much deeper and drawn out over time is behind it; wrinkles are the facade. The male nature urges men to motivate themselves to move forward with what they have and not get hung up on what they can’t change. Aging is easily acceptable to men, although the male ego sometimes gets in the way of his aging graciously (e.g., outlandish mid-life crisis.)
  • If husband loves wife, her aging fits right in with his. He’s not going to cheat or dump her because of her wrinkles. Husbands dump wives because they lose their likeability and loyalty to their man. Just one example, he stays in excellent shape and health and she lets herself go to hell in a handbasket. It’s not her aging per se. It’s her unwillingness to stay abreast of his lifestyle—in this example—that means much to him and for which the relationship expert must accept responsibility.
  • Men expect and live easily with slow aging and deliberate acceptance. Except, perhaps, when their woman goes overboard spending hard-earned money—unnecessarily to men—for face lift and other appearance changes the pursuit of which changes her role in his life to that of someone he didn’t marry.

The Single Woman’s Dilemma.

  • I disclose a bias. I personally favor tummy tucks as more appealing to husbands and am against face lifts because they are more appealing to wives. To me, the former aids compatibility and the latter weakens it. Money spent on compatibility is more beneficial than that spent on the female ego. But that’s just this man’s opinion.
  • As for single women, I don’t fault face lifts. But women should be advised of this. To remove wrinkles for the sake of being differently attractive for the next guy can be beneficial. If her reason is to like herself better, it won’t be beneficial and she’s wasting money.

Pardon, ladies. I’ve made a bigger thing out of facial wrinkles than I initially intended. But I don’t have the time to shorten it.


Filed under Dear daughter, feminine, How she loses, sex differences

1781. Sex Difference Redux—Part 35: Female Dominance

Dominance means for someone to get their way and differs greatly between men and women. Male dominance is intermittently used, because men presume it to be unnecessary in order for them to get their way. To the extent a husband doesn’t impose his dominance, his wife perceives mini-voids and opportunities to expand her influence—and it’s a primal urge.

Male dominance is instinctive, well recognized, and focused on the present. With little or no conscious thought behind it, however, femininity easily outwits it, grows its own counterpoints, and smooths the harsh edges from it. In the natural course of events, female dominance yields to male dominance in the present so women get their way in the future.

Female dominance operates in background. It is reasoned, designed, reinforced, and proved daily in reality. Strategically, female dominance relies on indirectness, patience, negotiation, and cooperation and avoids direct competition with a man. Men don’t easily recognize the subliminal influence of female dominance, except when they see it in other couples and much later in their own married lives. On the other hand, the essence of a man’s devotion is his willingness to accept her dominance of things of vital importance to her.

Femininity counters masculinity with uniquely female logic, reason, gender influence, multiple agendas, deeper feelings, personal persuasiveness, parlaying the present for the future, and whatever else women individually and collectively use or can create to get their way.

Seldom acknowledged, women naturally rush to get their way whenever they find their man may be acquiescent. Wives almost never abandon their primal urge to brighten their future by improving their husbands. The only real obstruction is resistance in the form of male dominance, which is why women work hard to avoid their husband imposing it. She can eventually get her way if she honors his dominance today. That, incidentally, paves the road of his devotion.

The balance of dominance within a couple shifts later in life as the ratio of hormones changes for both sexes. The level of estrogen-to-testosterone falls as women pass through mid-life. They become more assertive and even aggressive, which enables them more easily to get their way. At about the same time in life, the level of estrogen-to-testosterone rises as testosterone decreases in men. It lowers masculine desire to get their way, and men acquiesce more easily to their women’s desire to lead.

Feminism set out to conquer male dominance. Men were offended and became irritated, moved out of the limelight, and privately reinforced their sub-culture insistence that males dominate females. Our foremothers knew how to make male dominance tolerable and less offensive. But modern women let feminist politics intrude their relationships, and for the past few decades male dominance has come out of the closet into which our foremothers had stuffed it—not stuffed completely but smoothly enough that devotion to wives and children became common.

The rest isn’t history so much as female misery. Men rise to leadership roles early in life, and women later. We now see many highly attractive, assertive, and even aggressive middle-age women finding that they have no man with whom to enjoy getting their way more easily, no man to lead through the fun, fulfillment, and ravages of aging. It’s slow to happen, but women have begun to realize that feminists taught women to overpower rather than use male dominance to help fulfill female hopes and dreams.


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217. Do women know jack about Jack? — Part 13

♂ Women try to be more like men, while men want women to be more female, feminine, and fancy.

♂ If he were as good as she expects, he would have chosen another woman.

♂ If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield, his devotion will likely never grow to her satisfaction.

♂ If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him more than her. This reveals self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she will be expendable—emotionally if not physically. 

♂ If she chases a man or men, then she appears desperate and disposable.

♂ If she is unhappy with him, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already.

♂ Over time men seek improvements on certain things until they are satisfied or otherwise compensated. These are the main drivers: Frequent and convenient sex; meals prepared for them; comfortable hut or better; disposable sex partners, or an attractive wife, that reflect credit on him to his male friends and competitors.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]


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202. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 12

Men highly value female virtue. The promise of eventual conquest adds honor to his manly persona and significance.

If husband expects wife to dress seductively in public, he wants other men to admire him for having her. This reveals his self-centeredness, and when aging makes her less youthful or attractive, she will be expendable—emotionally if not physically. 

If he were as good as she expects, he would have chosen another woman and bypassed her.

If his commitment—whether true or disingenuous—is enough for her to yield, his devotion will likely never grow to her later satisfaction.

If she chases a man or men, then to the man and men she’s desperate and disposable.

If she is unhappy with him, he sees it like this: Her ingratitude appears unjustified, because he is a good man doing his best. If he thinks otherwise, he does not care about her unhappiness and probably looks elsewhere already.

When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman they are with becomes more expendable.

A man enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, he’s bored into looking for something more attractive.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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155. Bright side of Femininity—Part 3

Women age most gracefully and charmingly when they intensify their natural femaleness early in life. Duplicating the male persona ages women prematurely and leaves them with little grace and charm for their elder years.

♀ Women are naturally well-equipped with a cooperative spirit, indirectness, nurture-power, soft-heartedness, and natural but unoffending hard-headedness. These strengths help balance their man’s dominance. Each successful balancing event reinforces her efforts, strengthens her influence, and enlarges his respect.

Extraordinary women arise from this model to hold the respect of men for life: She makes herself pretty, modestly independent, and attractive to men. However, she automatically tests any man she encounters for a relationship to prove himself worthy of her association—this applies to all men, not just her man.

♀ Femininity in early life captures a man’s attention. Femininity practiced ardently over the years gradually empowers her as family matriarch in later life.

♀ Femininity best improves a woman’s lot in life by inspiring a man to adopt her family and domestic values, her hopes and dreams. But this calls for indirectness, charm, and patience while uplifting his sense of significance by showing gratitude for and dependence on who he is and what he does.

Whether done by one or many women, feminine values and standards upheld strongly and persistently against unmarried sex go far toward reducing male dominance, aggressiveness, and violence. (First principle of masculine behavior: Men do whatever women require in order to have frequent and convenient access to sex. Second principle: Men even marry if that’s required.)

[More about the bright side appears at posts 87 and 69.]


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138. The high cost of cheap sex—05

The more sex partners a woman takes up with, the less she learns positive and affirming things about men and how to keep one as her own.

 Having many sex partners hardens the emotions and softens the thinking of women, especially vis-à-vis the opposite sex.

Natural female beauty attracts sex partners, but it fades with both his conquest and her aging. The cheaper his conquest, the sooner the fading begins.

Older women pass down lessons learned. Modern girls ignore their elders, their immaturity expands, and the behavior of boys and men worsens with each generation.

Over time, delaying a man’s conquest pushes him to expose his real character, reveal her true role in his life, and correct whatever of his faults that displease her. Round heels remove the pressures on him.

Female adoption of masculine-style sexual freedom generates cheap sex for men. This arouses,  encourages, and lures the male conquering spirit outside the home. Wives suffer the unintended consequences.

The popularity of masculine-style sexual freedom misleads women into playing the man’s game, which devalues the woman’s game of marriage and weakens or destroys fatherly help raising children.

Promiscuous behavior hardens a woman’s heart, softens her natural hard-headedness, and makes her easy prey for selfish or manipulative men. With girls, the damage is both worse and imprints for life.

The promiscuous woman experiences too few tough decisions that mold the character required to promote her self-interest to the fullest with one man.

Promiscuous women eventually learn that uninvolved sex leaves her empty.

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99. The high cost of cheap sex—04

Meaningless sex eventually leaves women feeling empty. Promiscuity compounds to weaken their self-worth and lower their self-image.

♀ Promiscuity reinforces to women that men are only after sex. Chastity teaches women that men are more interesting than that.  

 ♂ Promiscuity teaches men that women are playthings and easily dominated, or if not, dumped. Chastity teaches men that women have respectable value and are not easily bamboozled.  

♂ ♀ Girls teach boys the requirements and finer details of dealing with females. When they don’t, boys experience sex life as set by their hurricane of hormones, which carries them into an impulsive, women-are-cheap adult life.

♂ Easy-to-come-by sex stifles a man’s interest in helping fulfill one woman’s dreams. So much action, so little time.

♀ ♂ A major feminist hero claims women now aspire to be sluts and self-actualized sex kittens. This by-product of feminist theory evolved without input from men respectful of the female sex, such as fathers. Of course men love the concept. They say little, while backing away from monogamy, marriage, and domestic responsibility.

♂ After early passion wilts between mates, men do not stay long or dependably with women they conquered as pushovers. Round heels especially turn off the Marrying Man.

♀ Sexual freedom pits females against one another for mates, boyfriends, husbands, lovers. Just a half-century ago men competed for females, and women were honored as a unique gender.

♂ With so much unmarried sex available in society, men are enticed to comparison shop their wife against the young and more ideal. Even late night TV shows in the bedroom work against wife by stimulating husband’s imagination.

♀ Plentiful sexual activity by girls and young women, combined with masculine promotion of it, now makes aging females obsolete before their time.


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