Tag Archives: castle

342. Ties that bind, or not! — Their needs

Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do, but it also conflicts with what a spouse expects.


She needs a brighter future for her family. Mature women exploit their relationship expertise. They work for stable security and promote family development, closeness, and harmony. Immature women seek materialistic brighteners—more money, continuous shopping, unaffordable housing.


Those things are not that important to men. Their male nature focuses more on the present than the future. Wife expects husband to respond favorably to her wishes about their future. However, it takes skill so as not to interfere with his near-term thinking, interests, and plans.


Mature wives focus and coach husband on building and sustaining their marriage. Immature wives pressure husband for greater effort, for more and better of whatever he does. (When he never measures up, it sends loud messages that he’s inadequate and may even be insignificant.)


His needs are far simpler than hers. He only needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’.


Such a place is easy to come by elsewhere. Consequently, in marriage he expects fun and comfort to compensate for loss of independence.


It’s her home to build and dominate. When she does it well, it’s a castle to him.


Tradeoffs leads to cooperation—good! Disrespect for their opposing natures leads to competition—ungood!


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258. What daughters never hear — Section 6

Dear Daughter,

♀ When you think men are only after one thing, your adolescent side shows. You attract only adult-adolescent men, and they fulfill your prophecy. Mature men figure you offer little else than sex, and they treat you accordingly.

♀ Virtual virginity is your best strategy to distinguish mature from adolescent-minded men.

♀ Mature men devote themselves to what they perceive as a good woman, because most want to raise children.  Adolescent-minded men think short term, dislike obligations, have little interest in children, always look for another ‘looker’, and promises commitment that has very short legs.

♀ Your dominant influence expands with each sacrifice you make joyfully in service to your family and castle without harshly judging what may appear as husband’s lack of interest, affection, or gratitude. (Of course, it’s neither equal nor fair, because both principles are female inventions. Go back to the top and assess your interest in ‘dominant influence’.)

♀ You should take advantage of your strengths and give him the appearance of your submissiveness to the man of the house. His perception is reality, and this means whatever he perceives satisfies him. You are far better equipped than he to work out the details to your advantage.

[More that daughters never hear appear in posts 244, 227, 214, 200, and 183. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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232. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 14

♂ When men have to make arrangements for their own meals, whatever woman pushes them into it becomes more easily disposable—except for mom, of course.   

♂ A man enjoys looking at an attractive, pleasant looking female. When his woman looks sloppy and uncaring, he’s bored into looking for something more attractive.

Men graciously live with the exaggeration that a man’s home is his castle. But only when his woman exploits her relationship expertise, showers him with gratitude, and recognizes him as head and her as neck of the family. Anything less is not a castle, and he can have it somewhere else.

Men highly value feminine virtue, because the promise of eventual conquest adds honor to his manly persona and significance.

Men intend to make themselves admirable (if only to themselves) and their life significant—usually above all else.

Men love working or doing what they feel compelled to do. The most reliable men turn their life into loveable work at home and on the job.

Men make themselves worthy of a virtuous woman. If not perceived as virtuous, she has to make herself worthy of him.  


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185. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 11

♂ Women claim the honor, but a man’s work is never done: Thank you, Darling, for doing that. Thank you, Honey, for doing this. Thank you for listening. Thank you for cooking. Thank you for being there. Thank you for…. And also, Sorry about that. Sorry I didn’t think. Sorry I offended. Sorry….! I’ll do better…. Let me do that. Can I help?

♂ A couple’s life includes relationship management. To men, relationships require no management.

♂ The males’ hunter-conqueror nature values and respects hard-to-conquer targets far more than easy, round-heeled pushovers.

♂ Husbands treat their wives as their fathers respect and value their mothers. If not, father set a bad or no example.

♂ If a woman helps a man build his castle, he primarily judges her effectiveness by how she supports what he does at work and play. He takes her support inside for granted.

♂ If he won’t modify his habits in order to please her before they have sex, he sure won’t do it afterward.

♂ If attracted to a woman he respects or has not conquered, a man’s good side emerges. If his bad side shows up, and she can’t turn it around, he lacks respect for her. All men have both sides.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]


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108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3

NOTE: Thanks to Suzanne for triggering this post. She put a big smile on my face, and I love it when pretty women do that. Guy

Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust; fold into passion and love; and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope.

The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps Love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make men successful at husbanding and fathering.

For successful living with a man, women as the relationship expert need to overcome the innumerable devils in the details. For example:

  • Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly.
  • Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together.
  • Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, women indirectly govern the home unless she sided with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly.
  • It’s her nest to build into a castle. But then, he expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionism, functionality over her style and fashion, and at least the appearance if not the actuality of him as boss. 
  • Men respond to women eventually, but not immediately, directly, or openly. They need time and latitude to make his meeting her expectations look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage.
  • Men treat women as females teach them, mostly earlier in life. Mothers sometimes fail, girls stupidly don’t condition boys to respect females, and single women provide sex before they earn a man’s respect by not providing it. Hence, some men mistreat women.

People don’t mistreat those they respect. That’s why a long courtship helps qualify a man as having had a good upbringing and as having developed potential for treating her well.


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23. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 1

Femininity, once a source of power and eliteness for females, has been made an object of scorn and ridicule by feminists. Women no longer appreciate that femininity adds color to a man’s black and white world, as one woman explains to Alison Armstrong in her book, Keys to the Kingdom.

Feminists consider men as undeserving of special attention and care. Yet, they eagerly provide what makes men highly appreciative—that is, frequent, reputable, convenient, inexpensive, and unobligated sex. This contradiction stymies females looking for the Marrying Man.

Feminism demeans the male nature in order to promote the status and political power of females. Femininity appreciates the male nature, applauds manliness, and empowers men to provide relationship stability, safety, and security.

Feminism focuses on making men unnecessary and dispensable in order to uplift females in legal, political, economic, social, and domestic stature. Femininity focuses on the high value and indispensability of men in order to uplift women and children above the depredations of extreme male aggression—and in today’s environment the threat of child molesters.

Feminism rejects as undeserving both castle-building and hut maintenance for a man. Femininity kisses frogs, treats princes as royalty, and specializes on lavishing warmth on everyone in the king’s castle.

Feminism politically empowers females to act like roosters and emulate the man of the house. Femininity endows females with the self-worth, self-image, and self-confidence to rule the roosters by letting him at least in his eyes appear to rule the roost.

Feminism produces an attitude of ingratitude for manly behavior that pushes men away—except in their pursuit of sex. Femininity produces an attitude of gratitude that attracts men and uses each female’s personal assets and appealing attractions to hold a man.

Feminism elevates sex above marriage, encourages eroticism, accepts promiscuity, stimulates pornography, allows sexual activity among children, and fails to discourage such things when opened for public discussion. Femininity subordinates sex to marriage, rejects eroticism out of modesty, disdains promiscuity as alien to relationship success, educates against porn as destructive to kids and family, protects children from adult sexual license, and promotes civilized behavior as keeping sex confined to the marital bed.

Feminism discourages women from supporting men as they exploit their masculine advantages. Feminists expect to change their nature to reduce male strengths. Femininity capitalizes on male strengths, compensates for weaknesses of both sexes, and eagerly helps build and maintain a man’s castle, since women are made potentially compatible with men by their drive to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones.

Feminism relies on and promotes the masculine games of might-makes-right, rule of man, and winning is more important than how one plays. Femininity relies on and promotes the females’ instinctive preference for right-makes-might, rule of law, and how one plays the game.

Feminism discourages male adoration even with a lot of female wishful thinking. Femininity inspires male adoration with little effort, because of female reliance on letting nature take its course sans feminist politics.

Feminism produces principles and ideology that divide as they try to conquer the political agenda. Femininity uses principles and ideology that unite and unify couples into stable and long-lasting families.

Feminism insists that women have the same capability as men for producing, providing, protecting, and problem-solving. Femininity supplies the glory, highly values, and uplifts the unique ability of men as wartime defenders, peacetime providers, anytime protectors of women and children, and reliable solver of family problems.

Feminism reverses the best interest of females by restructuring social values. The traditional family is not essential. Men are not essential to female happiness. Women are pushed to compete directly with their man to show female independence. Mothers are not responsible to civilize boys; someone else should do that even though modern boys are becoming more violent, disrespectful of authority, and take greater advantage of young girls. Femininity endorses and promotes the opposite.


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