She has to make choices. I caution against being guided by her dreams about life with a man, his pledges of commitment, or perhaps their mutual intentions. She will do better deciding beforehand the choices to be made—regardless of who the man is—in these critical stages:
· Dating is for fun. Courtship is for involvement. Engagement is for mutual examination. Church-going is for generating and improving devotion to each other. Does she know how she will handle each? How much time she will need? More importantly and when necessary, can she convince him of her rightness?
· Pre-conquest is for generating his respect for her and shaping his thinking into more closely matching hers. Does she see this as her opportunity to shape forever their relationship?
· Conquest is his reward—aka return on investment—for investing himself in her hopes and dreams. Did she remain chaste long enough for him to even learn her hopes and dreams? Will she yield on lust, intentions, promises, commitment, or devotion? Can she tell the difference?
· When she yields sex, it releases him from his quest to conquer her. He changes to having an owner’s expectations, but will it be to her advantage or disadvantage? Can she tell ahead of time? For sure?
· Marriage to him adds another mission to his life. Does she know what she has to give up in exchange for his independence?
Love-aholics and women desperate for a man can’t keep a man. Foolish women, much like adolescent girls, let love dominate their thinking. Love can’t be relied upon to successfully pick and keep a mate who will stick through thick and thin, raising kids, and providing comfort. For example, where do in-laws fit in? That’s next.