Tag Archives: comfort

2349. Tribute to the Female Nature — 05: Love vs. Discipline

Some mothers raise their children so easily and problem-free, that it must be a piece of cake. Others don’t, can’t, or won’t. The difference starts with toddlers and revolves around two principles.

Toddlers become self-developers as soon as their conscious minds open and they become aware that they too are persons deserving of treatment similar to what others receive. They change direction a little bit shortly thereafter when they discover boys and girls are different and they are one and not the other. They fall quite naturally into their respective sex roles.*

Quite subconsciously to them but visible to mom, they expect to see that others believe as they do. Born with self-love, girls seek evidence that they are loved. Born with self-respect, boys seek evidence that they are respected. They both measure it subconsciously by how they are treated compared to others.

First, they look. They are unaware of why, but they react to being treated differently than they instinctively deserve. Girls expect to be loved equally with others and welcome as part of some group, such as with mom or sisters. Boys expect to be respected fairly. Relative to others, they sense that all are not equal and that individual independence is important.

Second, they earn. Without early recognition that parents and others agree with them, they try to earn the confirmation they seek—girls loved equally, boys respected fairly.

Third they struggle. Failing to earn what they think they deserve, they ‘fight’ back rather than try very hard to earn confirmation of their worth. IOW, if they don’t get what they are born to deserve in their little hearts and minds, they struggle against the status quo. You know and have seen what that means for family quiet, peace, harmony, and mom’s frustration threshold.

It’s all part of self-development. When mom doesn’t go along to meet their ‘demands’, which are subconscious meanderings to see how far they can go or what they can get (self-interest), it can easily make mom sorry, frustrated, unhappy, and lost on what to do next or better. Especially if she’s tied up with something important to her or hubby’s self-interest.)

That’s where two principles come in to make handling children a piece of cake provided mom exploits them with her toddlers. Children need a mature-adult mixture of both principles as they grow up but they impact boys and girls differently.

1) Love comforts. It doesn’t teach except to be easy on oneself.

Comfort confirms a child’s self-image of who, what, and how valuable he is and, consequently, has developed. Also, mom’s applications of love both warm her heart and relieve anxiety in both mom and child.

Girls deserve and need more love than boys. It both confirms a girl’s inborn self-love (she’s worthy of cuddling) and establishes her self-respect (she is as independent as she desires) that is absent at birth.

2) Discipline teaches self-discipline. It doesn’t comfort but breeds self-confidence through achievement.

Discipline’s minor side is to behave in certain ways usually prescribed by social norms, authority, or in our case here, mom. However, the major component is to think in certain ways. Good discipline is not about doing what mom says although that avoids trouble, it’s about doing right and not doing wrong. (Mom won’t always be there to guide.)

Boys deserve and need more discipline than girls. Mom’s discipline is the bedrock of each boy developing his self-discipline, which is vital to the healthy sense of responsibility that adult men need to be mature and successful.

Girls are born with an innate sense of right and wrong. Almost like an inbred moral code, They need far less teaching than boys. Personal discipline is still required for girls, however, to prevent them from over using their ability and strong desire to express and spread love as solution for everything. They need to be disciplined to balance love and discipline when their children come along.

Carrying an undeveloped infant and giving birth endows mothers with a gift no one else possesses. The ability and willingness to forgive her own. It’s a weakness that too easily convinces that love conquers all. When mother depends on it, she aims her children toward immaturity in adulthood, i.e., adultolescents.

Both too much love and too much discipline discourage initiative. The former implies all is well and the child has little responsibility to help himself. The latter teaches that initiative brings on criticism. Too little love has the same end result; the adult looks for comfort from others. Too little discipline makes the child disrespectful of authority. All those conditions render immature adults.

Mature adulthood begins in the third year of life. Mothers are in charge and they have these obligations: to love and to discipline, to comfort and to teach, to confirm value and to prepare toddlers to successfully self-develop themselves.

It amounts to this. Love and discipline go together, comfort and self-discipline go together, well-loved and self-disciplined toddlers are mature beyond their years.


*I purposely avoid speculating about boys that act as girls and vice versa in early childhood. It’s outside the scope of this article.

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342. Ties that bind, or not! — Their needs

Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do, but it also conflicts with what a spouse expects.


She needs a brighter future for her family. Mature women exploit their relationship expertise. They work for stable security and promote family development, closeness, and harmony. Immature women seek materialistic brighteners—more money, continuous shopping, unaffordable housing.


Those things are not that important to men. Their male nature focuses more on the present than the future. Wife expects husband to respond favorably to her wishes about their future. However, it takes skill so as not to interfere with his near-term thinking, interests, and plans.


Mature wives focus and coach husband on building and sustaining their marriage. Immature wives pressure husband for greater effort, for more and better of whatever he does. (When he never measures up, it sends loud messages that he’s inadequate and may even be insignificant.)


His needs are far simpler than hers. He only needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’.


Such a place is easy to come by elsewhere. Consequently, in marriage he expects fun and comfort to compensate for loss of independence.


It’s her home to build and dominate. When she does it well, it’s a castle to him.


Tradeoffs leads to cooperation—good! Disrespect for their opposing natures leads to competition—ungood!

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292. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 17

♀?♂  The easier a man’s conquest, the less valuable to him is the conquered.

♀?♂  Sex is an emotional commodity that works like an economic one. The greater the supply, the lower the cost men pay in emotional involvement, time, effort, and courtship expense. Men obligate themselves more deeply when sex is not cheap.

♀?♂  The conqueror thinks more about ‘me’ than ‘you and me’. Denial of conquest first shifts a man’s focus seriously toward ‘us’.

♀?♂  Functionality and comfort dictate what men wear and look like except as female influence and expectations dictate otherwise.

♀?♂  Pressures of Feminism force men to change their behavior, but it does not change their nature. Men resent, resist, and retaliate one way or another. Individual women reap the consequences.

♀?♂  The hotter the man, the more victims he leaves in his trail.

♀?♂  The more a woman rejects the hunk, the harder he tries to win her. When he convinces her that he’s as special as he thinks—that is, she goes along to get along—she primes herself to be dumped.  

♀?♂  Women are the relationship experts relative to men. To men changing partners is far simpler, easier, and more inviting than so-called relationship maintenance.

♀?♂  Couples succeed primarily through her efforts, or she chose the wrong man.

[More jack about Jack appears in posts 274, 249, 232, 217, 202, 185, 172, 162, 153, 142, 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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253. Boob language — Part 11

Females duplicate men in manner, language, style, attire, and grooming. Ignorant of masculine priorities, they expect to captivate manly interest for more than sex.  

·        Women duplicate men in no-style dress and thoughtless grooming. Beer with the guys attracts them better.

·        Pregnant women copy tee-shirted beer bellies. If he can do it, she can too. The world gets uglier, as women think they gain through defiance.   

·        As women dress down in everyday life, men outdo them to confirm masculine independence. So, men dress worse, and women follow suit.

·        Loose and shapeless bras provide comfort, but unadvertised assets generate little curiosity. If she has no incentive to show herself off to the max, then he figures his max will not be required. So, she starts off in the hole.  

·        Women dress erotically to capture a man. They attract attention and may be taken off the shelf and even taken home. But eroticism promotes sex, not loyalty for the whole product.

·        A keeper advertises and packages herself to keep sex in the background, because that keeps male minds focused on her star quality.

·        Cleavage draws his eyeballs downward and his thoughts to nestling there. Good advertising works! Does the rest of her appearance sell her as quality stuff or just promote unintended consequences?

Modern females make sloppy, careless, and slovenly fashionable. They slouch a lot. They do this although men feast with their eyes, and husbands expect a wife they can show off.

[More boob language appears at posts 235, 220, 205, 188, 102, 98, 81, 52, 49, and 12. Search by the number followed by dot and space.]


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114. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 4

A man’s discoveries of a woman’s strengths and attributes fade after their first sex together. He need not look further. It’s his nature more than her.

A man’s love is based on respect for an extraordinary woman who outshines most others. She becomes extraordinary in his eyes, if he has to work hard to impress her, hold her attention, and otherwise prove himself worthy of her. Her attractiveness just gets the ball rolling.

A man’s natural loyalty lies primarily with his job or whatever he must do to satisfy his sense of significance. The right and extraordinary woman can get a permanent arrangement. Others cannot, except for temporary comfort and functionality.

A man’s not really interested in her, if he’s not intrigued by her feminine persona. Or, if he ridicules her female modesty. Or, if he mocks her moral, religious, feminine, or parental standards. Or, if he insists that she do something she knows is not good for her.

A man’s respect for women generally and one in particular is not essential to a temporary relationship, but it is for a permanent one.

A woman that uses gratitude, indirectness, and endless patience can turn an inadequate husband from frog to prince to king. Love and affection are not enough though.

A female’s denial of unmarried sex spurs a male’s imagination to go beyond words of commitment and show devotion through new and innovative actions. If it doesn’t, she’s more temp than keeper.

After a couple’s first sex together, the man assumes control of their sexual agenda as conqueror’s right, or he moves on.  

After conquest the infatuated but not fascinated man focuses on life with her as sex partner at the cheapest cost to him—girlfriend, lover, live in, or wife if necessary.

Even before a man starts a relationship, she’s his target for conquest. Her value goes up with his difficulty achieving his goal. How he handles her obstacles discloses if he’s truly into her. 


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108. Chaste courtship works—Part 3

NOTE: Thanks to Suzanne for triggering this post. She put a big smile on my face, and I love it when pretty women do that. Guy

Relationships start with attraction, infatuation, and lust; fold into passion and love; and level off as enduring mutual love. Or, so women hope.

The rules for success are many, but wrongs trump rules, Nature trumps Love, and men trump women that don’t know how to make men successful at husbanding and fathering.

For successful living with a man, women as the relationship expert need to overcome the innumerable devils in the details. For example:

  • Men don’t take orders from women. It weakens his sense of significance. Women are much more effective conveying their expectations some other way, more indirectly.
  • Women must qualify their man for marriage; condition him to accept her values, standards, and expectations; and expect never to change him after their first sex together.
  • Man of the House, Head of the House, Home CEO, or whatever you call it, women indirectly govern the home unless she sided with the wrong man. It takes a long courtship to decide correctly.
  • It’s her nest to build into a castle. But then, he expects comfort and convenience over her perfectionism, functionality over her style and fashion, and at least the appearance if not the actuality of him as boss. 
  • Men respond to women eventually, but not immediately, directly, or openly. They need time and latitude to make his meeting her expectations look like something else—even his idea. Men can afford to be impatient, but their woman cannot. Patience is an immensely great female virtue for marriage.
  • Men treat women as females teach them, mostly earlier in life. Mothers sometimes fail, girls stupidly don’t condition boys to respect females, and single women provide sex before they earn a man’s respect by not providing it. Hence, some men mistreat women.

People don’t mistreat those they respect. That’s why a long courtship helps qualify a man as having had a good upbringing and as having developed potential for treating her well.


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97. Do women know jack about Jack?—Part 3

Men adapt, obligate, and learn to devote themselves to a woman that refuses to yield sexually. Her hard-headed and unyielding behavior keeps his attention focused on her. If he refuses to grow that way to meet her expectations for her man, then he’s not really into her as potential mate.

  Just as sex does, fashionable attire, charming words, and fun activity help capture a man. But her other-than-sexual attributes hold him beyond the fading of romantic love.

A major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon his woman’s faithfulness—and especially his not having to face men who have had her or even know of someone who has.

A man discovers a woman’s non-sexual attributes while searching for weaknesses in order to conquer her. After conquest his search intensity fades away, and her remaining qualities become less dramatically uncovered.

A man does not need refreshment and comfort with a friendly, attractive, and encouraging mate, but he never stops looking if he lacks it.

A man’s conquering nature is not quieted down by either her giving love or providing sex—only by one woman’s non-sexual attributes that magnetize his devotion to her and their family.

♂ A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

A man’s ego reflects his sense of significance and vice versa.

A man’s fruitless pursuit of sex with a woman enables his commitment to evolve into devotion for her. In the process of trying harder, he learns to respect her more and see her as different from the others.

♂ A man’s loyalty to wife and family is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in the home.

[More jack about Jack appears at posts 91 and 7.]

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