Tag Archives: common sense

2604. Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Chapter 13a: Hank Explained


Her Highness Femme says “there is NO WAY a man would make a speech like that to a woman (me).” I’m sure she rings many bells elsewhere.

The series is titled, Who is Responsible for Marital Success? Common sense says both parties and a dual responsibility. Common senses says that sharing, dividing, and fulfilling the dual responsibility is a competitive and possibly combative job. Common sense says negative motivation—criticism and blame—produces unwanted results and can prompt failure in any process. Works that way with kids doesn’t it? Husbands are just big kids in the view of their wives. Yet, many wives ignore common sense and produce their own misery.

Women want their husband to be more responsible, and so Hank assumes full and complete responsibility even ahead of his marriage to Jenny. He exemplifies his male nature; he is sufficiently motivated to upgrade a system in need, please his woman, and admire himself for having undertaken to produce such promising results. The greatest satisfaction comes from the toughest achievements, and Hank is hardwired to believe it.

Women sympathize, empathize, share their miseries, swap justifying thoughts, and support each other as they bad mouth men. Then, as a gender, they shape their complaints and blames into female-sharpened hatchets to be thrust into the masculine psyche. With Hank, I idealize five things to expect, if men did what women claim they want and expect.

  1. Our man Hank takes complete charge to produce a magnificent plan of what he thinks his woman will more than welcome. He has no hidden agenda and expects to negotiate details later. (He knows the marriage system doesn’t work well. Women rely on love, but it is never enough. He intends to prevent problems rather than have to overcome them and thereby relieve Jenny of so many wifely problems. His intentions are far more honorable than any woman should expect, but yet less acceptable. He lacks one thing: spur of the moment woman-think, and his lack converts the story to fantasy.)
  2. Our motivated hero demonstrates with actions his promise to be a good husband, to take charge and assume responsibility for mate, family, and home. (He is motivated to assume all risks and rely on his expectation that wife will provide full cooperation with his leadership. He dreams of their life together sixty years from now. He’s not a dawdler. He accomplishes, produces, and can be depended upon to make things work out satisfactorily.)
  3. Our potential husband already planned how he intends to prevent rather than have to heal or recover from interpersonal problems with wife and family. (The eight strategies described in post 2600.)
  4. Inspired not just by Jenny but his own need to please her, Hank knows what Jenny needs most. His plans are aimed directly to guarantee his promise to cherish her for life as her husband.
  5. Following his nature, Hank designs and plans to cure ailments in the ailing marital system, because he is sufficiently incentivized to make his life more sterling in his eyes and golden in Jenny’s.

There comes a time in the world of under performing marriages, wifely complaints, and assigning blame that men stand up to say, let’s do something else; e.g., upgrade marriage. It was Hank’s time, and he took it. Common sense says he could never get away with it. In fact, it would probably scare most women away. But not Jenny, she has her own lessons to teach, so the fantasy continues.

Admittedly, the story morphed to fantasy. It is pardonable. He knows the female nature and knows it well, but Hank lacks one thing. Woman-think, the common mental processes that will dominate Jenny’s development of events and relationships under his grand plan. It amounts to this in the real world. A man’s planning for their future too easily interferes with a woman’s relationship development and self-brightening of her own future at the present time.

Of course you won’t see or hear Hank’s speech from a man today. Hank morphed from real in chapter 1 to fantasy in 13.  Women don’t always need what they expect out of men and their man, and Hank represents it on steroids. It’s Jenny’s turn for fantasy, next.

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Filed under courtship, Dear daughter, feminine, Fickle female, Her glory, How she wins, marriage, sex differences, The mind

2176. Dating in Mid-life — Part C9: Prepare Against Submission


Gotcha! Prepare against submission? Yes, and do it while dating. No legal, moral, marital, or biblical injunction makes you submit. In fact, both sexes have free will, both are made to be compatible as mates, and to submit means that one side loses. However, superior relationship wisdom enables women to generate win-win regularly if not every time. Your relationship expertise ranks with adaptability and survivability as cardinal traits that enable the irresistible force to move immovable objects.

Your man may not have been taught any better; he might try to enforce submission. You may have to teach him. Indirectly works smoothest and leadership by example works best. Your examples can be absorbed as logic, reason, and the compatible nature of mating. Men look for logic and reason and love the likeability afforded by compatibility.

Marital common sense to teach such things is embedded in the female nature. Not in you? Not to worry. I’m here to help. As you will soon see, submissiveness is the hub around which revolves most of the important family interactions.

When you marry and husband expects you to submit, you steal his thunder by revealing a submissive spirit that shows him how smartly he married. Submissive, it’s an adjective describing you as volunteering; you don’t do mandatory. Why volunteer? Are the following 16 reasons enough?

1) A family can’t stay together with two leaders, too bosses equally yoked to the same undivided responsibility. They eventually fight for dominance. 2) A man won’t conscientiously honor and fulfill his responsibility unless he appears to dominate control of it; it’s his nature and often more ego than logical. 3) You are more flexible, the relationship expert, and the only one capable of balancing and harmonizing all the challenges inherited with family life. Without you taking the home load off of husband, he’s not free enough to earn a good living. 4) Two bosses can be successful only when they agree to having separate responsibilities, and a separation of powers empowers and rewards them both. 5) Children can’t function much less develop successfully, if they have unequal standards and expectations to which they must respond. It causes confusion to reign, teaches rebellion, and kids learn to play one parent against the other. Everyone functions better with only one boss, and kids respond best to mom with backup from her husband. 6) You can’t manage the home without husband’s recognition and acceptance that it is your responsibility, which places you in the follower’s role wherein submissiveness pays off with greater success for both parties. 7) A successful organization needs both a chief executive officer and chief operating officer, CEO as ultimate authority and COO to administer CEO policies. 8) The ultimate authority is no better than the chief operator below who promotes the respect due him, protects his reputation, and preserves his dignity even when he doesn’t deserve it. 9) The next-to-ultimate authority does best when looked upon as supporter and facilitator of CEO’s expectations. 10) Men are satisfied and significant—happy in your words—when someone weaker proves to be stronger in surprising and dedicated ways. 11) Whereas husband can’t do it at least by his nature, you can bring the superiority of your gender into the home—especially adjust-ability and survivability—in ways that everyone benefits. 12) He’s not naturally willing; only you can find ways to balance his dominance against getting your way sufficiently to fulfill your hopes and dreams. 13) Converting from courtship to marriage, you’re capable and understand the wisdom of shifting from the competitive mode of protecting yourself to the cooperative mode of fulfilling your marriage. 14) He’s generally unwilling to do something about it, but you are well enabled to find ways to smooth the rough edges from his dominance. 15) With his constant focus on the present, and your focus more in the future, you’re better situated to adjust to his present-day needs than he to your future aspirations. 16) Submissiveness enables you to impose a rank structure that calms family leadership jitters. In rank order, this works well: husband, wife, mother, father, and children, which splits adult roles into four separate responsibilities for better, more efficient, and more easily acceptable decision making.

Accomplishing all those things fits naturally into your marital persona. He’ll see all the merit once he’s taught by you. Success starts with your submissiveness that so clearly matches up with your relationship expertise and the other blessings you inherit at birth. Then you can fit him into your nest. (You may find other benefits at Female Blessings at Birth at blog top.)

To prepare for dating, I suggest you study those 16 items above for the different roles that you and future husband will fill. Then, measure each man against your imagination of how you two will fill those roles. That is, imagine how his personality would fit yours in this situation, just for example. As his wife and ‘second in command’, you hold him up as more important than the kids. Yet, as their mother, you fight him in favor of the kids. Can and will he help fulfill your hopes and dreams and be Mr. Good Enough? Or…?

You might deny it, but I view it this way. Mystique mystifies you, vanity promotes you, modesty protects you, marriage insures you, and submissiveness elevates you to kingpin in the monogamy-sphere. Nothing else produces a more successful family. You see, when you know what you’re doing, you do everything right for everyone. It’s your superior conscience. That, darling, is what the submissive spirit enables you to do. To give it a fanciful name, I call it sterling wifeliness.

——

P.S. For background material, you may wish to review the 12-part submission series that runs with interruptions from 2043 to 2058. (Or, two dozen other articles with submissive/submission in title plus a chapter in my book.)

 

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2004. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 92


  • When you’re about to be raped by a date, accuracy and truthfulness don’t matter. Slow your defense long enough to say, “Your mother said you would NEVER do this. Does your mother always call you by the name she used with me? Or does she lie?” And just keep talking about his mother while defending yourself physically. (If it slows or stops him, it’s the surprise of you possibly having talked to his mother about him. Threatening to later tell his mother won’t have a similar wilting effect.)
  • If a man is going to devote himself to a woman, he wants to know what men preceded him sexually in her life. Several reasons prompt his curiosity, and several outcomes hinge on the revelations. It’s not the ‘used’ and unused issue. That’s how he hides his agenda. It’s those other guys. When? How recent? Who? Do I know them? Will I meet them? Were they better in bed with her? Will they return to her or vice versa? Who will she compare me with? How faithful was she to them? Were my family or friends involved? Will she turn back to them? What emotional attachments and physical attractions remain? (Incidentally, a man’s respect declines for a woman conquered by someone for whom he lacks respect.) [121]
  • Equality isn’t truly attainable and interferes with compatibility this way. Inequities remain in the minds of those who lose decisions that are supposedly rendered on the basis of equality. On the other hand, fairness promotes compatibility. It resolves issues by generating decisions at least acceptable to both sides. If not always agreeable, the ‘losing side’ doesn’t feel compelled to search for new arguments. Fairness aims for common-sense and vice versa. (Revolutionaries, political activists, and radical feminists use the females’ natural hope for more equality to separate men and women into warring classes. It works too. I’ve watched it worsen male-female relations for a half-century.)

 

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790. Dumb Goes Beyond Blonde


We joke and credit blondes predominantly as eggheads. We miss this boat: Dumbness flows out of adolescent-minded females that carry the blight through adulthood. They fall behind growing up and can’t recover from restricted education, knowledge, and common sense.

Most women have been duped into playing male games. Belief in the use of sex for ennobling, capturing, and holding a man makes women restrict their education, knowledge, and common sense. With adolescent certainty, they ignore the important to favor the exciting.

Men seek knowledge of a woman’s body, but it’s a man’s imagination that keeps his interest focused on her:

  • The less he knows, the more he seeks. The more she’s covered, the more he wonders. The more mysterious she appears, the more interested he becomes. The more interested he becomes, the more he wants to be around her.
  • Exposed skin kills a man’s imagination, because it shifts his curiosity to those sexually suggestive or stimulating areas still unknown. Stripped down to a thong, for example, only one curiosity remains and his imagination intensifies only about copulation. And conquest kills her ultimate asset.
  • She discourages a man’s curiosity by not covering her flaws, and his interest rushes elsewhere—and not reliably to what else she can offer him.
  • Winning the heart of one man doesn’t strengthen her self-respect nearly as much as winning the hearts of several men. A man’s love is founded on his respect for a woman, and his respect floats on the foundation of her self-respect. So, the stronger her self-respect, the more intensely the man she ultimately chooses can love her.
  • Adolescent-mindedness pushes females into trying to win the heart of one man without keeping some others available for his competition.

A woman’s quality as potential mate stimulates a man’s imagination. However, it arises better from packaging than advertising, actions than words, and especially the promise he sees than the promises she makes. 

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615. Roots: PoliSci 401 for Women


So, many Princesstial followers of WWNH wonder, “What’s gotten into Guy, lately?” Why the politics? Isn’t all of this way off subject? Who cares about the ‘Roots of Feminism’?

I hope you believe the answer is, YOU. I believe, as strongly as any topic about which I’ve published, that the constituents of WWNH need to hear and understand what many might call my ‘diversion’. Indeed, what I have put forward this week is potentially the most impactful series, at a macro level, about What Women Never Hear.

Your eyes may have glazed over; your mind may have already gone numb. I hope for the sake of you, yours, and our traditional American culture, it has not.

Remember, you ladies shape our culture. But your power and influence that has served us so magnificently is under attack now more than ever before; sometimes overtly, more often subtly. If the fight for our culture and great society is to be enjoined, ladies need to be enlightened and unified more than ever to take on the challenge on behalf of their selves and families.

I sought to inform you so that you not only have the foundation of knowledge to understand that which you find yourself up against, but to use that knowledge as power for the benefit of us all.

*****************

I end this series today but leave you with one final graphic. It’s a crescendo for my brief delves into the political realm and its effect on females. It is concise, and you should easily understand or learn about the respective players and agendas.

The political concepts on the left below the line were developed to fight against and overcome their counterparts to the right. They are just some of the ‘tools’ used to impose a new culture on America, which I mentioned yesterday in 614.  

spectrum

Illustration by A Guy Maligned, Jr.

Download at: http://www.fueleon.com/downloads/spectrum.pdf

Progressives are the modern threat to American culture. I originally intended to describe the blue shaded area above. However, I realize I’m not the best source to move those issues forward. I could never hope to explain Progressives and their intent as well as Glenn Beck has already done in his new, short, inexpensive book, Common Sense—The Case Against an Out-of-Control Government. It’s a short and easy read.

One of our best contemporary critical thinkers and a prolific defender of American systems, I defer to Glenn. His book presses the brightest torch of liberty right up against Progressive buns.

I strongly encourage each woman to read Common Sense. It’s super background material, whether she’s directly involved or not. The contemporary history lessons, certainly never taught in school, are alone worth the $7-10 dollars. The book enlightens, and she can see more clearly and define more intelligently how to brighten her own future. If interested in getting involved, she will gain knowledge to join the fight for herself, her family, and our culture that used to be so much more female friendly.

There are many online sources to purchase Common Sense. You need only scroll to the bottom of his home page at www.GlennBeck.com. It may be out-of-stock at your local bookstore. It’s a huge best seller.

Remember, Some people seek the truth by gathering knowledge through establishing and growing relationships with talented critical thinkers. Others are content to be spoon fed by the mainstream media and pop culture. Our future depends on you, ladies.

Now, WWNH resumes its regularly scheduled programming: back to men, women, relationships, and other unique subjects about What Women Never Hear.

Guy

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571. Unmarried women shape society — Part 3


Reason, logic, and stubbornness about unmarried sex—aka common sense hardheadednessenables women to make society female friendly. So does common sense soft-heartedness dealing with life, children, men, and husbands. Female friendliness spreads when women:

  • Enhance the female side of social and domestic life by uplifting the male sex as respectable and indispensable and the female sex as respectful and grateful.
  • Highly value and uphold morality, principles, and ideals that tame male aggression, civilize boys and men, and domesticate husbands for fulfilling female hopes and dreams.
  • Forego immediate gratification to pursue long-range security, and do it sooner in life. (Dave Ramsey claims women have a ‘security gland’. I say this: It becomes active with her mid-STRIFE crisis that arrives about age 30 and intensifies throughout life.)
  • Express, endorse, and follow moral and practical ideals that stimulate a man away from shack up and toward matrimony.
  • Practice virtual virginity to allow time for a man’s interest and respect to deepen into more than romantic love. Delay his conquest until he honors her values and principles, steps up to her expectations, and yields his sense of freedom to devotion and togetherness.

When the most admirable, popular, and opinion leader females follow their nature in those ways, others follow. It pinches and squeezes male dominance. Overly independent masculinity shrinks under female pressure, which pushes men to think about and help one woman pursue her life goals.

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303. Weans, tweens, and teens, #11 — Immature kids


Immature adults emerge from this background: Kids enter puberty with empty minds primed to vacuum up adolescent values that produce these characteristics in adulthood:

·        Action comes before responsibility.

·        Self-centeredness overpowers ‘us’.

·                   Good intentions explain away lack of results.

·        Taking risks overrides common sense.

·        Others must earn my respect.

·        Popularity is more important than character.

·        Symbols are as good as substance.

·        Sex outweighs fidelity.

·        Parental supervision offends.

·        Wisdom resides in my peers.

They get that way from poor parenting in the weans and tweens. The following point to impending immaturity when present at puberty.

They lack:

o   A good work ethic and strong sense of personal responsibility.

o   Religious beliefs and moral convictions that guide them toward living up to something bigger than themselves.

o   Dependence upon parents for wisdom, guidance, support, back up.

o   Respect for authority and authority figures.

o   A foundation of unconditional respect for all people.

o   Ambitions (underdeveloped) for their own adult life. Not necessarily what they want to do, but expectations and preferably dreams of living in the adult world of responsibility, work, mature fun, family building.

They have:

o   Dreams of becoming a teen instead of an adult. They focus on peers, popularity, fashions, outside-the-family activities, and earlier duplication of older kids.  

o   Respect others only for what they can do for the child.

o   Self-centeredness. Selfishness comes easily to them. Their heart is soft for peers, but hard for most others.

o   A mother that did not nurture the child well in the weans, a father that did not lead well in the tweens, or both.

They exit adolescence with convicted beliefs that values learned in the teens are right and proper for adult life. This happens for one reason: They entered puberty with a mind empty of mature adult, albeit underdeveloped, values into which they expected to grow.  

[More about childhood mental growth appears in posts 268, 239, 223, 208, 197, 193, 192, 187, 178, and 177. Scroll down or search by the number with a dot and space following it.]

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