Tag Archives: dignity

2166. Dating in Mid-life — Part C4: Fail to Plan and You Plan to Fail

Dating success follows certain principles that govern the interaction for a developing relationship. Many functions are key.

You’re the tick, he’s the tock. You specialize in showing interest in him and then listening. You respect and enable him to communicate directly and you respond as indirectly as polite. He’s selling himself, so let him. If necessary, you show interest in him and he responds. You enable him to lead and make your spirit of cooperation to shine in his favor.

Howsomeever, as I used to hear country folk declare an upcoming contrary thought, you compete directly and even get in his face if necessary to 1) defend your sexual standards and expectations against his insistence and persistence, or 2) terminate what’s happening and put an end to the date or relationship.

Forget these two things that mean so much to you.

  1. You can’t make him like you, especially if you try. Trying alone makes you do the wrong things. Example: Relying on three little words may help but it’s really insignificant; men judge on actions primarily and seldom on words. Be yourself. Make him win your affection, make himself worthy of you; he doesn’t appreciate unearned gifts.
  2. Don’t try to impress him and don’t even disclose whatever affection you may have for him, except to say you like him—somewhat, starting to, perhaps even teasingly, but never a helluva lot. Mystery, remember? To like him some and respect him a lot are enough for him. He believes it better anyway if he figures for himself that your actions signify your affection to be real.

Instead of affection, express your admiration. That’s what he’s after. The masculine counterpoint to the female’s determined affection for sharing affection is earning self-admiration and yours is appreciated. Admiration simply registers with men more deeply than affection.

He either likes you as you are—virtues and shortcomings—and wants to keep you by his side. Or he doesn’t. When you’re being your true self, you can’t do much more to keep him alongside. If he quits selling himself to you, it’s all over. If you try to sell yourself to him, you act like a pushover, and his objective shifts to sex, which makes you booty or disposable after conquest.

Don’t be phony. A marriage likely won’t succeed very long if the wife shows up as different from the bride he married. So, phoniness is destructive long-range although you may gain some benefits in the near term.

Be quick to defend yourself instinctively and intuitively against any offense to your sense of good order and self-discipline, his displeasing you, embarrassing you, and especially his disrespecting you. Those things you don’t want to live with need to be disclosed when they first appear. The more you stand up for yourself pleasantly but uncompromisingly, the more respect you will earn and a man’s love is based on respect for women generally and you specifically.

Two things hold a man’s attention long enough to impress him with your respectability: refusing sex and standing up strongly for your dignity, values, and standards as both person and woman. Your objections not only earn his respect but make him uncomfortable, and discomfort changes a man’s behavior to favor you.

Out of all the above, you focus, perhaps re-learn some things and unlearn others, and use your superior relationship expertise to guide and shape dates into progressive steps of relationship development. It’s easy for me to spout it on screen, but you get both the fun and anxiety.



Filed under courtship, How she wins, sex differences

2131. Male Blessings — How Men Start Out In Life

The following are the essentials and the forerunner of Male Blessings At Birth to be posted soon at blog top.

Female blessings are qualities that make women grateful and are first steps to their happiness. Male blessings are heart-felt characteristics that men possess without regard to gratitude; they are just that way and are born to claim it. It’s just possession rather than gratitude. Their claims, however, are essential for each man to earn satisfaction within himself. Satisfaction, it’s the natural equivalent of happiness for women.

Ladies, you may be shocked especially with the first item. All men readers are urged to disagree if they can; I seek to post the truth clearly. Before lessons learned in life teach him to be more circumspect, agreeable, and perhaps polished because he wants something from women, a typical man would say:

  1. Until I upgrade them in my interest, women play a subordinate role in my life: a) They can be fun to play with mentally and physically. b) They make marvelous distractions from everyday burdens. c) They are vital for my sex life. d) Having a good mate can make life more convenient, functional, and enjoyable and my ambitions more easily realized.
  2. My life is built on, around, over, under, and through self-respect.
  3. I respect myself but find I must reinforce it regularly by doing something until I am at least temporarily satisfied.
  4. I feel satisfied and respectable following the completion of something I set out to do. Less so when ordered to do it or it’s not my idea. And disrespected when told to do something I already know how to do.
  5. My self-respect becomes reinforced when I do everything right the first time. But I become frustrated with disturbing surprises, undue interruptions, and when things don’t proceed or turn out my way.
  6. I respect myself for doing something better as I see it—or doing something else as I want it—and enabling it all to lead to contentment. IOW, life’s rewards are in the satisfaction that comes from doing what I want to do and just how I want to do it.
  7. I work to accomplish things and feelings don’t count as things (except  self-respect).
  8. I am my own man. I don’t change to please others and especially not females.
  9. I don’t respect myself when I criticize others. I don’t like my tendency to criticize myself, and so I don’t inflict it on anyone else. Let them learn from their own mistakes the same way I do.
  10. I respect myself even when I seem to act impulsively. Much of what I accomplish well is prompted by need to act quickly.
  11. I respect myself for being a ‘figure-outer’. I believe in what I figure out much easier and more indelibly than what others convince me of. (So, why stop and ask for directions?)
  12. Having to explain myself is contrary to my self-respect.
  13. I support and uphold self-respect by living by and with my responsibilities and decisions surrounding them.
  14. Criticize me if you like. I can take it. Do it too much though and I’ll get even or leave.
  15. My erections are to be used. How I do it contributes significantly to self-respect. Hard thrusting and deep penetration amplify my sense of dominance and enhance my self-worth like nothing else. Orgasm isn’t the prime mover; it’s feedback of job well done.
  16. My sex drive comes in two very different versions. a) Conquer every sexually attractive woman I can, which significantly amplifies self-respect. b) Satisfy my sexual urges in the best way available at the moment of erection, which reinforces self-respect unless my conscience says otherwise.
  17. Purity is important but symbolic. I prefer a virgin bride in order to beat out all those other guys who tried and failed. As with other things I pursue, being first enhances self-respect.
  18. My conscience is guided by what’s best for my self-interest, which may or may not include the interest of someone else.
  19. I am easily self-encouraged to both play and be lazy, but I’m built for work. Self-satisfaction lies with work and I can’t always play or be lazy. I love to build, disassemble, grow, change, improve, and replace things to make life easier. Enabling and earning laziness that way provides immense satisfaction.
  20. I am responsible only for myself until I purposely step up to something or someone else, which takes a lot of selling for me to buy in. (Note the contradiction that women have to work out. He expects to be sold on providing/protecting but she expects to be sold on his merit as potential mate. He buys into the concept by selling her on the idea of buying into him. IOW, relationship experts have to convince men to sell themselves down the marital river.)
  21. I’m simple. I respect myself for being pretty easy to understand.
  22. I love to idle my mind, to shift into neutral. It’s nourishes me mentally.
  23. I’m not fearful. I can figure out how to prevent or overcome whatever comes up.
  24. I can recover from almost anything and know who to recruit for help if I need it.
  25. Complaining produces no beneficial results except to make me feel better about relieving myself of unwanted mental burdens.
  26. I see no reason for more than minimal foreplay. If I’m ready, she’s ready.
  27. I expect people to earn my respect before I trust them.
  28. I’m very particular about food, money, and women and don’t care to explain myself.
  29. I’m not particular about emotions except my own. I can handle mine and expect others to do the same.
  30. I’m a man of habit. I like what I like and expect to keep doing it and loving it.
  31. My weaknesses shame me, and illness tends to do the same.
  32. I’m a good lover whenever I choose to be but most women are not worth the extra effort.
  33. I don’t expect others to like me. If they do that’s fine. If they don’t that’s okay too.
  34. I’m a creature of habits that I create and have little or no wish to change.
  35. I will make a difference. Don’t know when or where, but I will.
  36. I’m capable of doing good in life but everyday conditions don’t make it worthwhile. Incentives are lacking to do anything but take care of myself as best I can.
  37. I’m a daily guy. I feel a sense of dignity if I have somewhere to go in the morning, some obligation to start my day. I can handle tomorrow when it gets here.
  38. I think the primary purpose of money is convenience, mostly for use now.
  39. I intuitively reject efforts to be or act female-like. It weakens my self-respect and makes me less respectable.
  40. Might makes right.
  41. I’m a taker. I appreciate whatever I may get but I don’t much respect those who give for nothing. I expect to earn what I get.
  42. As a hunter-conqueror I find hard-to-conquer targets far more appealing and valuable as reinforcement for my self-respect.
  43. The most intolerable offense against my self-respect is sexual infidelity of my mate. Revealing my sexual shortcomings to anyone is second. Lying is third and stealing fourth.
  44. A woman who diligently protects her sexual assets as her greatest asset earns respect. To do less is to respect her less.
  45. After conquering a woman, I ‘own’ our sexual agenda.
  46. I don’t like to admit it, but my greatest fear is insignificance.
  47. I only need one thing. A place to flop, eat, throw my things, and prepare to fight tomorrow’s dragons. I need my stuff to be left alone so I can find it when I need it.
  48. I crave the freedom to do my own life by living with my own decisions.
  49. My primary challenge in life is to beat all those other guys who aspire to do what I want to do.
  50. I am not easily offended. Even when I am, I get over it fairly easy. I like it best and things work better when normal is what is normal for me.

There must be more blessings that men inherit at birth, but they haven’t yet come to mind. Those above will soon be explained in greater detail similar to that of Female Blessings at Birth. The result will be posted permanently at blog top. I invite readers, especially men readers, to propose revisions or new blessings we males may inherit at birth.

In the meantime, I ask all readers for your opinion about the accuracy of those posted above. This is a review prior to permanent posting. It’s how men are born and not what they learn in life; you can see early traces in toddler boys. Agree or disagree? Suggestion: Use T or F for any numbered item. Better yet, use B for believable or U for unbelievable. Truth and clarity drive me to do this. Other comments are also welcome and desired if you take exception to anything.

Thank you for whatever opinions you choose to present.


Filed under Dear daughter

1796. RANDOM THOUGHTS—Group 75

  1. Bitchiness arises out of role confusion. Her heart and mind are not in sync.
  2. A female’s easy smile whispers that she knows she’s pretty.
  3. The more different she appears from other women, the more unforgettable she is to a man.
  4. If a wife mothers her husband, expect him to cheat. If he’s also of an adolescent mindset, expect to lose him.
  5. When she shacks up with a man, she puts a lid on his respect that she can earn. Limited respect means limited love, which means limited time together.
  6. Dignity—You have to act it to get it.
  7. A man’s devotion shines when he relinquishes dominance to a woman on those issues she wishes to dominate.
  8. Where laughter prevails, hope can’t be far behind. Hope and laughter go together. If you find little hope in your heart, find and generate laughter with your mind.
  9. The best husbands are trained in toddlerhood. Mothers charm boys to absorb adult values they are too young to emulate but which program their heart. Mothers do it by inculcating/indoctrinating adult values while respecting them as person first, boy second, and ‘unrespecter’ of bad behavior third.
  10. The female nature finds that manipulation comes easy. Men are not so inclined by nature.


Filed under Dear daughter

276. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’m! — Post 3 of 5

SUBJECT: Men are not considerate of her sexual wants, needs, and desires. Granted, they should be, but….

♀♥♂  Nurturing him won’t work; it’s demeaning. Teaching him won’t work; it’s humiliating. Coaching might work; good coaching shows him respect and recognizes his dignity and importance otherwise.

♀♥♂  Men heavily experienced in sexual encounters tend to ignore the smaller details. It’s too easy and habit forming to conquer and go elsewhere. So, coaching such a man requires much more adroitness than with most.  

♀♥♂  If premarital, she’s in charge of changing both his conquering spirit and defusing his conqueror’s rights. Virtual virginity lays good groundwork. (See post 248 et al.)

♀♥♂  She craves attention and affection from her man to acknowledge her importance to herself. Her sexual preferences and expectations are less important. Given that men have affection delivery disorder, progress made toward fulfilling her basic needs may provide better results than complaining about his sexual approach. (See post 3 regarding his and her A.D.D.) 

Men should consider her wants, needs, and desires. As we have seen, however, love and poor choices often interfere.

[More on this subject appears in posts 271 and 266 and follows at two future posts.

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Filed under sex differences, Uncategorized

236. Female malpractice — Part 7

♣ She assertively initiates unmarried sex—will she be led to church or left in the lurch? Odds favor the latter.

♣ New mothers that have no husband to love them indulge their children in hope mom will be more deeply appreciated. 

♣ She wears her heart on her sleeve, just to be sure he understands her—mystique or mistake? Probably the latter.

♣ She goes for one-night stands and bitches when he doesn’t call. Who’s at fault? The giver or the taker?

♣ Girls providing fellatio in public add dignity to the female gender. Right?

♣ Young women join adolescent men in raucously and raunchly applauding women stripping, pole dancing, using dildos. Debase your own gender and expect manly respect for anything but sex? Reflect badly on the gender? 

♣ She gets in his face loudly to win an argument. Is she attractive to keep around or just another guy to ignore?

♣ A woman kisses a frog into princehood. They marry. Then, she neuters him with words that wound his spirit for any kind of life with her. Then she can’t stand him, because he becomes more like what she calls him. Also, he can’t stand himself being with her.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 221, 206, 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]

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Filed under How she loses, Uncategorized

123. Dark Side of Feminism—Part 07

Feminists begrudge men notching their bedpost as disrespectful of females. So, women initiate sex to compete and match masculine behavior. This enables more and more men to take up notching. Women thus generate disrespect for their own gender.

One biting and lingering effect of Feminism is that women envy men and dislike being female. This mindset empowers men to take greater advantage of women, especially those desperate and unhappy.

The feminist spirit in the home shows up as self-absorption, ridicule of masculine traits, and an in-your-face attitude. Men learn quickly that other choices are available elsewhere.

The feminist spirit makes women ‘stand up inside’ just thinking about a man or men. It’s toxic for a relationship.

Feminism squashed the concepts of female dignity, feminine attractiveness, and social constructs of the lady and lady-like behavior. It made sex objects popular. And now, mutual respect is diluted and unconditional respect practically non-existent between the genders.

Feminist-inspired women justify female sexual freedom, just because men enjoy the freedom. This tremendously weakens a father’s influence raising daughters and discredits him as morality teacher for teenage sons.

Feminists have it all wrong. Just a friendly touch in passing or a pat on the back sends a message of trust that earns a man’s regard if not respect. If he mistakes her friendliness for something else, she has immense powers to turn him off without offense. It’s a small price women must pay to hold onto the respect of men other than their own.



Filed under Feminism: OOPS!