Tag Archives: divorce

2264. Compatibility Axioms #881-890


881. On separation or divorce, the key issue isn’t love but respect. Any successful recovery depends on his learning to respect her more than before, which means she has to earn respect she didn’t have before.

882. Her strategy of virtual virginity shifts and keeps all his attention focused on her. Automatically, it puts the man in his natural role of proving himself worthy of her.  [294]

883. Virtual virginity gives a woman time to impose her values and blend her relationship into a joint effort, because he’s willing to listen as he searches for her weaknesses to facilitate conquest. Ditto for an ex trying to reunite. [294]

884. If they separate or divorce and she wants him back, only virtual virginity works to her advantage. If they have sex anytime for any reason, he will not change and she will not earn more respect. [294]

885. Dealing with a separated or divorced ex, virtual virginity sets them up such that he has to conquer her again. Men will change to earn conquest but conqueror’s right stops further change.

886. If he really, truly, emphatically wants back his ex, he will change into a different man if she refuses sex until remarriage. Otherwise, he will just plead with wordy promises without changing himself to meet her expectations. [294]

887. Conquering a virgin is the ultimate, but not as women think. He’s first among his buds. It pads both ego and bragging rights.

888. This springs from adolescent thinking: If he conquers a true virgin superstar, his significance among peers skyrockets. First for conquest, second for having the independence to dump her. [294]

889. To the smarter woman, Mr. GoodEnough still isn’t good enough. She should not be convinced that he’s worthy of her until the honeymoon. Only then should she stop competing with him.

890. It’s relationship maintenance gone awry; blame or expect him to resolve whatever ails their two-way relationship. This doesn’t mean that he’s not due some blame, just that treating him as such is counterproductive. [298]

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1998. Compatibility Axioms #443 — She Duplicates Men


443. Women generate incompatibility when they endorse male values by copying masculine behavior. Their short-range wishes torpedo their long-range thinking. Their future begins to melt and they later morph into the multiplex of singleness, disappointment, unhappiness, abandonment, loneliness, isolation, hopelessness, despair, depression, divorce, gloom, and misery. (I don’t argue against the comfort or convenience, but only how such things affect men and weaken respect for women generally and each one individually.) A few examples of wrongful copying:

  • Women too easily and too often discard lovely and attractive feminine attractiveness. They copy men with tee shirts, careless hairdos, black or dull and ragged clothes, tattoos, piercings. [152]
  • Either not caring or presuming the right to argue in his face, women compete against their man after conquest, when the male nature expects only cooperation from a conquered woman. [152]
  • Women adopt masculine-style sexual freedom. They let men get by dodging personal commitments, domestic obligations, and responsible habits. Lack of time before conquest prevents words of commitment rising to actions of devotion. Being given frequent and convenient access to sex without marital obligation, men don’t have to provide the extra-female-friendly things that truly benefit women as custom and each woman in particular. [152]
  • By absorbing feminist politics, women condemn the masculine nature while turning off or tuning out their female nature. [152]
  • If she can depend on herself, she doesn’t need him. If that happens, she’s not grateful for him. If that happens, he’s not interested in staying with her beyond the eagerness of romantic love. [152]
  • Women discard feminine mystique. They quit using old school hard-to-get. They mistakenly expect that men appreciate a woman’s sacrifice of her sexual assets. With so little to do to score, men sun themselves later in boredom instead of pleasing women as women wish they could be pleased. [152]
  • Women plead for mutual and meaningful full disclosure, but men have no obligation for being as accurate as women expect. Men hear weakness in her disclosures and use it to get her into bed. It fine tunes men to deal openly but with no obligation for either candidness or honesty. [152]
  • Exposing her weaknesses before conquest reduces the size and intensity of the fascination and promise he sees in her that guides him to the altar. [152]
  • Women think everything should be more equal, so they upstage men by initiating sex. Men welcome it, but it short-circuits or at least weakens a man’s respect that is so essential for enduring love to develop as romantic love fades. [152]
  • Experience with many sex partners hardens a woman’s heart. It makes her cynical, suspicious, and unable to like herself enough to hold a man very easily. [152]

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1990. Self-gratitude — She Has to Earn Happiness


She earns happiness. Men don’t provide it; they just play the role she writes into her screen play.

Women seem to miss an important lesson as they mature from girlhood hopes and dreams into the real world. Happiness doesn’t come from her man. Girls imagine it within themselves. Women produce it within themselves. Men and other excuses should be removed from the blame list. Fulfillment of hopes and dreams depends on each woman.

More and more, women guide their lives by pop culture and manly expectations instead of instinct, intuition, and faith in their nature. They allow the dominant sex to disrespect the superior sex. Consequently, like toothpaste, women allow themselves to be squeezed out of the happiness tube into which they are born.

The obstructions to womanly happiness can be seen in this closed loop. She 1) ignores or distrusts her female nature and accepts living within the social and domestic expectations of the male-dominated pop culture. Lack of dependence on her female nature causes 2) loss of self-respect, which causes 3) loss of self-gratitude, which causes 4) loss of being grateful for others, which causes 5) loss of importance to others, which causes 6) loss of self-importance as person-female-woman-parent-adult-child-wife-mother-friend and all the other roles she fills momentarily and often simultaneously. Ultimately, by starting out with lack of belief, dependence, and even distrust of her female nature, she continually drives her life toward unhappiness.

By not focusing and finding gratitude for who she is and what she does, she morphs herself into the dreary multiplex of depression, divorce, abandonment, isolation, disappointment, singleness, despair, loneliness, and hopelessness. Fruitlessly, she seeks to find her way back into the tube.

However, recovery is everything. An entry point exists to reverse the loop and restore her potential. She starts by finding gratitude for who she is and what she does. It energizes her with self-confidence to drive the loop in reverse. a) Self-gratitude generates b) self-respect, which c) reinstates trust in the female nature within her heart, which d) restores her sense of self-importance in her multiple roles of life, which e) enables gratefulness for others, and which f) makes her more and more important to others and herself. Ultimately, by finding more and more self-gratitude, she morphs her life into being happy. Her happiness empowers her with greater ability to help her man find satisfaction in his life, out of which girlhood hopes and dreams are fulfilled.

Each woman’s happiness starts inside her. It just doesn’t work when she depends on someone else. If you disagree, ask any woman over sixty years of age. In the meantime, consider this. She earns happiness this way. She ignores the tube from which she was squeezed. She programs herself to trust her instinct, intuition, and feminine sensibilities. She uses new guidance for interacting with men. For example, acceptance of disrespect and filth is foreign to her soul. Dependence on her instinct and intuition emboldens and empowers her to both discriminate and defend against female-unfriendly values and standards and undeserved masculine expectation and mistreatment.

The process for generating self-gratitude follows soon.

 

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1770. Sex Difference Redux — Part 24: Love VII (w/ Kathy Petersen)


Absence of Father

The subject remains that of men showing love and affection to women. As you expect, the sexes raise boys very differently. The two preceding parts describe how childhood affects the way that men love and show affection to the women in their lives. Quite often, however, boyhood development is stunted by two parental sins. (1) Absence of father as role model and disciplinary intimidation and (2) mom’s excessive nurturing a.k.a. micromanaging son’s life. Today, we’ll examine some red flags that result from the absence of fathers. Tomorrow, it’s helicopter momism.

The following symptoms often flow out of the absence of a father figure. A boy or man demonstrates or exemplifies:

  • a weak sense of personal responsibility,
  • unreliability for providing/protecting,
  • fixation on sex as primary and perhaps only vehicle of love,
  • lack of respect for the female gender and authority figures,
  • inability to devote to one human love object,
  • lack of loyalty toward love objects, even inanimate ones such as religion,
  • expectation that his woman serve and bow to his wishes,
  • refusal to help lift wife’s obvious burdens, and
  • being extra-guarded about true emotions.

Abandonment, separation, and divorce have many causes. We could spend hours on the causes of absent fathers. But this subseries is about love and affection of males to females, so I shall stop here. Tomorrow we’ll examine another aspect of boyhood that often goes sour, either when the father is physically or just mentally absent about raising children.

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464. Boob language — Part 16


       Men are not into new fashions. Except for possible conquest, they merely avoid styles older or beneath their individual standard.

       Except for heels rounded for easy conquests, female grooming and packaging works best to capture and hold a new man’s attention.

       Modest, unsexy, but classy apparel reflects self-respect. Appearance stimulates a man’s curiosity, but her self-respect makes him unsure and cautious. This ignites his imagination to discover her possible value to him.

       Habitually well-groomed, neatly attired, and highly attractive females generate more opportunities to pick and choose. They also avoid many guys’ first impression turn offs.

       The well-dressed and meticulously groomed woman makes her boyfriend or husband look good.

       When thin ain’t in. Before Feminism all females had a better chance of landing a husband. Customs dominated by Womanhood made physical features far less important than marriage. Women emphasized femininity by dressing modestly and attractively 24/7, which males just happened to view regularly. The custom deemphasized body shape and other features. Outer appearance hid or disguised distinguishing features so as to emphasize inner character. Marriage was in, divorce was not.    

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412. Female malpractice — Part 13


Even though two-thirds of all divorces are started by women, men are blamed as if only they screw up marriages. Women proclaim innocence by citing their inexperience, which justifies blaming men.

Women abandon their natural feminine nature for the political feminist cause. They gain an unnatural kind of experience that puts men down. So, they lose their ability to successfully manage relationships with men.

♀ Cheap, free, easy, or casual sex make her worthy of him. It makes him the buyer and makes her the seller. The exact reverse of what makes her a keeper before marriage, but what, paradoxically, makes her a keeper after nuptials.

♀ When women talk about former mates, often to ease their guilt, they reveal their own shortcomings.

♀ There’s a hex to talking about her ex. Sympathetic and empathetic listeners hear her side, lift her blame. This confirms and reinforces her rightness and eases her motivation to change for the next guy.  

Women don’t often get what they want when they want it, which is usually a lasting relationship with Mr. Right right now. Overly eager and full of wrong data about men, they accept one without being able or taking the time to weigh his potential for Mr. Wrong.

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410. KEEPERS FOR KEEPERS—Assortment 7


Some nuggets, just like a good mate, are keepers.

☼ A man’s dedication to legal, moral, or religious principles overpowers his natural urge to hunt and conquer or just seek somebody younger. [17]  

☼ A woman’s ego restricts her from treating him as king, because she’s driven naturally to dominate her nest and their home. [4]

☼ Cheap sex teaches men that relationships are, and of masculine right should be, temporary. [8]

☼ Devotion lasts, commitment may not. [13]

☼ Enduring love, the kind that lasts forever, is neither spontaneous nor easily terminated. [17]

Feminism unleashes the savage male beast. Femininity tames it. [1]

☼ Her immodesty and lack of self-restraint endorses the man’s game of wham, bam, thank you, mam. [12]

☼ If shack up or marry up is not the man’s idea, then he will not long honor whatever relationship arrangement he enters. [7]

☼ Men can be intuitive too. When she thinks he deserves her criticism, he instinctively disagrees. [17]

If she does not slow him to her schedule for conquest, he departs sooner or later. [17]

 

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