Tag Archives: ego

2043. Submission #1 — The Introduction


The last of three series on this subject was completed in July 2010. It’s time for something new.

Let’s start at the top. We view life from outer space. God designs, Nature endows, and hormones energize two different sexes. One is dominant but the other superior. Respectively, the immoveable object faces the irresistible force, male gender versus female gender. It’s the historical and highly traditional battle of the sexes.

Expecting women to submit flips the superior sex on its head. Not only that, it makes women mad just thinking about it, even when they hear it in church. Unfortunately, that causes some women to lose their female balance, to blame the men in their lives. Regardless of how pastors explain it, there’s plenty of hope always available in the feminine boodle bag of options.

Since the Holy Bible favors men on the subject, women don’t seem to have a full hand of cards to play. Ahhhhh! But they do. In fact, they hold the superior hand. They have patience, skill, hardheadedness, grateful heart, free will, and abundant opportunities to play. Men have stubbornness, self-respect, hardheartedness, ego, and competitive determination to defend only one position, she must submit. Advantage: wives. Abundant opportunities can smother one position though even well-defended.

The advantage comes from this. When push comes to shove, submission means only one thing to men. It’s their handicap. Not handicapped, women are blessed from birth for this particular battle. They are by nature cooperative and even submissive when in their best interest. Their nature thus provides advantage that enables them to outsmart, outwit, and out-maneuver dominant males. Consequently, submission isn’t a yes or no battle. Women make a game of ‘maybe’ out of it that convinces their man that he has won.

The feminine submissive spirit, often seen by men as unrespectable, is quite capable of conquering a man’s insistence that she submit as he and other men conceive it.

 

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1984. Compatibility Axioms #442 — Relationship Malpractice – II


442. The big emotional connections don’t hold a man. The repetition and accumulation of her incompatible habits ruin his interest in living with her. Such as:

  • She spends contrary to his frugality. [164]
  • She calls his ego troublesome, while she blithely claims women have no ego. [164]
  • She denigrates his ego, when it’s the outward expression and protector of his sense of significance. [164]
  • She makes herself feel good at his expense. For example, she accommodates the kids while ignoring his priorities or even presence. [164]
  • She rides herd on him to prevent little mistakes. Or, she imposes her will or preference for how things are to be done. [164]
  • She tells him how to handle and solve his problems at his place of employment. (Husbands keep silent about their work to prevent wife’s interference and to prevent her judgments about what he tells her—which can never be the whole story.) [164]
  • When associating with his male friends, she tries to act like one of the guys to win their appreciation for either her or him. [164]
  • She tells him HOW and WHEN to do things instead of citing WHAT needs to be done and let him work out the details. [164]

 

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Filed under Dear daughter

294. Virtual virginity #16


  Even though previously married, virtual virginity success lies with her friendly feminine charm and persistent refusal to have unmarried sex. If he won’t honor her wishes or forces himself on her, he’ll be worse after conquest, during shack up, and even after marriage.

  This springs from adolescent thinking: If he conquers a true virgin superstar in looks, his significance among peers skyrockets for having the freedom to dump her. 

  Virtual virginity’s power shifts all the attention from him to her. 

  His ‘conqueror’s rights’ emerge after their first sex together. It’s as natural as her succumbing to his charm or looks.

  Virtual virginity gives a woman time to impose her values and blend her relationship into a joint effort, because he’s willing to listen as he searches for her weaknesses that will enable conquest.

  If they divorced and she wants him back, virtual virginity works best. If they have sex anytime for any reason, he will not change. If he really, truly, emphatically wants her back, he will change into a different man if she refuses sex until remarriage.

  Conquering a virgin is the ultimate, but not as women think. He’s first among his buds. It pads both ego and bragging rights.

[More about virtual virginity appears in posts 273, 248, 231, 212, 198, 181, 169, 158, 147, 136, 125, 96, 70, 51, and 44. Post 25 describes options for girls. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following.]

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206. Female malpractice — Part 5


♀♂ Women reject this truism for making marriage work: Before marriage he should prove himself worthy of her. That is, she makes him the seller and her the buyer. He peddles all his strengths, and she evaluates his character and likelihood of delivery on his promises. After marriage, she keeps herself worthy of him. That is, she becomes the seller and peddles rewards for his husbanding and fathering.

Pregnant women duplicate men with big beer bellies. They use tight clothing and masculinize motherhood. Fashion before sexiness, attractiveness, and femininity—not what men appreciate.  

Thirtysomething women without kids have no outlet for their mothering instinct. So, they parent their man.

♀ Wives treat husbands much less respectfully than they treat boyfriends, lovers, and shack up partners. Two effects: Husbands dump wives more easily. Other men see what happens, avoid marriage, and go for shack up.

Women condemn the male ego, as if they have none of their own. The feminist movement made the female ego explode. Activists took advantage.

Men seek a woman that accepts him as he is and wants to stay. Women nevertheless think they can or should change their man.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]

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164. Female malpractice—Part 2


Women complain that men need to be told how to relate better with women. Women ignore or forget this difference in the genders: You don’t tell men—collectively or individually—how to relate without producing unintended consequences. Feminism’s Dark Side describes it for men generally. Exes produce the evidence about individuals.

  • She shows signs that she appreciates him, but only when things go her way.
  • She makes her nesting more important than his ego. For example, her drive for fashion outweighs to a fault his desire for functionality.
  • She spends contrary to his frugality.
  • She calls his ego troublesome, while she blithely claims women have no ego.
  • She denigrates his ego, when it’s the outward expression and protector of his significance.
  • She makes herself feel good at his expense. For example, she accommodates the kids while ignoring his priorities or even presence.
  • She rides herd on him to prevent little mistakes or impose her will or preference for how things are to be done.
  • She tells him how to handle and solve his problems at his place of employment. (Men keep silent about their work to prevent her interference and to prevent her judgments about what he tells her—which can never be the whole story.)
  • When associating with his male friends, she tries to act like one of the guys to win their appreciation for either her or him.
  • She tells him HOW and WHEN to do things instead of citing WHAT needs to be done and let him work out the details.

It’s not the big things that hold a man, such as sex, feeding, love, likeability, respect, devotion. The accumulation of little malpractices causes his interests in her to seep away through cracks she causes with disrespectful and ungrateful incidents.

[More about female malpractice appears in post 150. Scrolling down is best, but you can search on the number with a dot and space after it.]

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142. Do women know jack about Jack? —Part 7


First-time sex with each woman is a conquering event, after which he rates her as keeper, standby, or dumpee.

For the hunter-conqueror, the greater his target’s perceived virtue, the greater her value and his inspiration to keep trying. 

Hard-to-get means other guys failed before him. So, it enlarges the self-stroking of a man’s ego.

He offers his strengths for her to appreciate. If she shows no weaknesses, his strengths fade in importance, and so does she.

His respect for his woman softens a man’s heart, and her gratitude for him softens his hard-headedness.

His trustworthiness as mate is wrapped within her gratefulness for him as husband and father, provider and protector, and those other things he deems critical to his current and significant mission in life.

His woman’s grooming and appearance in public add to or detract from him. Other men look at her, but they also take the measure of him—or so he either thinks or desires.

Husband wants wife to look queenly yet unavailable, beautiful but unattainable. Something special enough to gain masculine admiration of him yet make men realize they can never have her. That’s a major, major input to his sense of significance.

If a man has flaws before they marry, each shortcoming will magnify afterward.

Husband wants wife to remain the woman she was before their marriage. But she insists on changing herself, because her life is now different. Or, she was a phony before marry up, and her true side emerges. Either way, it’s not good for longevity together.

[More jack about Jack can be found at posts 135, 132, 114, 97, 91, and 7. Search on the number or scroll down.]

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141. Loose lips at Heartbreak Hotel—4th floor


It’s a hex to talk about her ex.

Men conquer and even love other men’s castoffs. Castoffs, however, nullify their own value by talking about it with their new man.

Women come in three shades that apply to every man in a woman’s past:

·         Real castoff:  Her ex dumped her. He must be a fool, as newbie views him. Men understand a dumpee’s desire for silence, and she’s foolish if she talks about it. Her newbie will accept it much easier than he will non-judgmentally accept whatever she does say. If she explains or complains, she puts a hex on herself.

·         Fraud castoff:  She dumped her ex to avoid being dumped. She’s eager to describe how inadequate he was so as to lift guilt from herself. She initiates Newbie’s harshest judgments. The royal hex spins up as newbie sees her faults emerge that show she was much more culpable than claimed. She spun a hex out of fraud.  

·         Phony castoff:  They separated amicably, but she feels impelled to talk about it. Of course, her ex gets all the blame since her newbie accepts whatever she says as gospel. The hex will haunt as newbie finds out he accepted her explanations too eagerly. Her ex must have tolerated a lot, as newbie views it.

When a woman talks about her exes, she places a magnifying glass over each of her own shortcomings. Her man eventually views those self-magnified faults.

As her faults arise, newbie sees what her ex actually underwent; he agrees with an enthusiasm he would not have except for her self-serving descriptions. This prompts him to question everything she described about her ex or exes.

To the next man, she’s better off to forget her ego and claim honor as a guilty but silent dumpee. It sets more easily with newbie than hearing about her with some other dude—regardless of who did what to whom.

[More about Heartbreak Hotel can be found at posts 131, 128, and 127. Scroll down or search by the number.]  

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Filed under How she loses, Uncategorized