Tag Archives: emotions

226. The high cost of cheap sex — 11


The Marrying Man ponders the new male game that girls have developed, ‘friends-with-benefits’:

·        Who did and who didn’t? I don’t want one that did, but can I ever be sure?

·        Did my new girlfriend do that? Does she now?

·        Who are her friends? How many? Do I know them?

·        When I meet them, will I know?

·        How many male friends will she keep after our marriage? With benefits?

·        How do I know the difference between those that benefitted and didn’t?

·        Where does she draw the line between friend and acquaintance? A few drinks, perhaps?

·        Does she associate with girls that do it? Still hanging out with them? (We become like those with whom we associate!)

·        If she did it out of friendship, how binding will our love be? Can she devote herself to only one man? Does she need male friends?

·        How long do sealed friends remain friends?

·        Friendships don’t just end, so how about the benefits?

·        Did she benefit any of my friends or men that I know?

·        What about new friends she makes? We make? They entitled?

·        Once a friend always a friend? Where does it end?

[More about high costs of cheap sex appears in posts 207, 190, 171, 161, 149, 138, 99, 84, 39, and 2. Scroll down or search by the number with dot and space following.]

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184. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 7


♀ Women are intolerant of their man doing poor quality work, especially if it has to do with her natural strengths of nesting, nurturing, castle-building. Equal sharing of baby-care and housekeeping, for example, provide opportunities for her critical intolerance. He often does not measure up, plus equal sharing is never achievable. Mucho squabbles.

Women as a gender provide sex to be equal with men. Individual females provide sex to capture a boyfriend or husband. By yielding to make herself worthy of a man, she confirms inequality and hints at inferiority.

♀ Women can’t have what they want from a man without rewarding men for husbanding and fathering. His most needful rewards apply to his eyes and stomach. Modern women resent both methods. They reject food prep especially for him. They dress sloppily in the name of comfort. They ignore attractive grooming to copy careless masculine habits.  

♀ If a woman has few moral or religious values to override her emotions, and no personal intensity behind her hopes and dreams, then she far too easily yields to the next man’s interests. She’s highly unlikely to earn enough of his respect to fuel the kind of love that survives the fade out of romantic love.

[More about sex and fickle females appears in posts 170, 160, 148, 137, 93, and 34. Scroll down or search by the number followed by a dot and space.]

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97. Do women know jack about Jack?—Part 3


Men adapt, obligate, and learn to devote themselves to a woman that refuses to yield sexually. Her hard-headed and unyielding behavior keeps his attention focused on her. If he refuses to grow that way to meet her expectations for her man, then he’s not really into her as potential mate.

  Just as sex does, fashionable attire, charming words, and fun activity help capture a man. But her other-than-sexual attributes hold him beyond the fading of romantic love.

A major facet of a man’s sense of significance rests upon his woman’s faithfulness—and especially his not having to face men who have had her or even know of someone who has.

A man discovers a woman’s non-sexual attributes while searching for weaknesses in order to conquer her. After conquest his search intensity fades away, and her remaining qualities become less dramatically uncovered.

A man does not need refreshment and comfort with a friendly, attractive, and encouraging mate, but he never stops looking if he lacks it.

A man’s conquering nature is not quieted down by either her giving love or providing sex—only by one woman’s non-sexual attributes that magnetize his devotion to her and their family.

♂ A man’s devotion to wife and marriage are not the same. The former is based on his heart, his feelings for her. The latter is based on his mind, values, principles, vows, and his word—to the extent that he honors such things.

A man’s ego reflects his sense of significance and vice versa.

A man’s fruitless pursuit of sex with a woman enables his commitment to evolve into devotion for her. In the process of trying harder, he learns to respect her more and see her as different from the others.

♂ A man’s loyalty to wife and family is cultivated best by a woman mentally and emotionally committed to nesting, nurturing, and nestling in the home.

[More jack about Jack appears at posts 91 and 7.]

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34. Sex and the fickle girl—Part I


Women too often ignore or forget these facts of life. 

♀♂ Marriage and associated responsibilities don’t uplift men, they constrain.

♀♂ Women need men more than the reverse, especially those women hopeful of a permanent relationship.

♀♂ Women work to love. Men love to work.

♀♂ To stay with a woman, men must be rewarded for husbanding and fathering—as the male gender sets standards, and each man measures the benefits.

♀♂ A man’s love is based on respect for her and her likeability supporting him in his work.

♀♂ Women expect to hear affection expressed in multiple ways and demonstrated on frequent occasions. Men don’t think that way. (Both have A.D.D. as described in post #3 below.)

♀♂ Without moral standards, female expectations, and motherly teachings that tame, civilize, and domesticate the male nature, masculinity emerges as unfriendly dominance, aggressiveness, and even violence. (This puts women in charge of cultural values—or they abdicate as modern women are doing.)

♀♂ Women like to claim that men are only after sex. Actually, sexual availability is the measure by which men judge women for their loyalty to and dependence upon a man.

♀♂ Women play an auxiliary role in the natural side of the masculine life. This requires that each woman seeking to live with a man compensate by energizing him to help pursue her individual interests, hopes, and dreams. (Of course women have other options, but they should expect to eventually lose their partner. She can change his behavior but not his nature.)

 

♀♂ Women can enjoy masculine-style sexual freedom, but they eventually lose when playing the man’s game. (More later)

♀♂  Divulging her sexual history to a man injects poison into their relationship. (More later)

 

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30. Unstable love


Love stimulates male-female togetherness. Its positive and affirming emotions, however, lack strength to hold a couple together. Three major threats rooted in human nature trump love.

First, romantic love—based primarily around lust and infatuation—fades in a year or two. Recent research narrows the average to about 18 months. If some kind of enduring love for one another has not ‘evolved’ by that time, then split up inevitably follows.

(A man’s enduring love arises from a foundation of his respect for an exceptional woman and her likeability as a supportive mate. A woman’s enduring love arises from a foundation of her gratefulness for who and what her man means to both her present and her future.)

Second, negative influences too easily compound to kill love. Infidelity, disrespect, nagging, mental or physical abuse, lack of affection of her, and ungratefulness for him come quickly to mind. The continual repeating of one or a few negative influences shatters the foundations of love—respect, likeability, and gratitude—and love bleeds out through the cracks.

Third, mothers often elevate their children over their father. Such women lower father’s status and stature as bossman, hero, and one up to whom the kids should look. When a man has to play second fiddle in his mate’s home orchestra, he’s prompted to cancel his union membership and look for a ‘job’ elsewhere.

Women have pretty much convinced everyone that men are the primary culprits for mucking up relationships. Relative to men, women are the relationship experts, so even equal blame may not be appropriate.

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