Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do. Immature men make life tough, but the mature woman has the natural expertise to overcome.
She fears abandonment. She fears losing him above all else, whether killed, incapacitated, or a walk out. Abandonment strikes her ego as well as her heart.
She expects him to overextend himself, as necessary, to provide reassurances. The devoted husband sacrifices to avoid torturing his loveable wife with continual fears that weaken her appreciation for him.
He fears insignificance, and her eyes reflect it first. Her lack of respect and gratefulness makes his sense of significance decay. Wounding his spirit can be terminal.
Even slight decay can jumpstart motivational forces in him. He seeks to restore his sense of manliness—more independence, expensive toys, trophy woman, or just walk out. Mid-life crisis worsens whatever he chooses to do.
He doesn’t necessarily expect it, but ‘smart wife’ becomes head cheerleader for who he is and what he does. She also adds each child to the cheerleading squad.
Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do, but it also conflicts with what a spouse expects.
She needs a brighter future for her family. Mature women exploit their relationship expertise. They work for stable security and promote family development, closeness, and harmony. Immature women seek materialistic brighteners—more money, continuous shopping, unaffordable housing.
Those things are not that important to men. Their male nature focuses more on the present than the future. Wife expects husband to respond favorably to her wishes about their future. However, it takes skill so as not to interfere with his near-term thinking, interests, and plans.
Mature wives focus and coach husband on building and sustaining their marriage. Immature wives pressure husband for greater effort, for more and better of whatever he does. (When he never measures up, it sends loud messages that he’s inadequate and may even be insignificant.)
His needs are far simpler than hers. He only needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’.
Such a place is easy to come by elsewhere. Consequently, in marriage he expects fun and comfort to compensate for loss of independence.
It’s her home to build and dominate. When she does it well, it’s a castle to him.
Tradeoffs leads to cooperation—good! Disrespect for their opposing natures leads to competition—ungood!
♀ A single woman reaps her own soft-headedness when she yields sex based on a man’s words. If the conqueror’s words were backed by a strong conscience, we’d have little need for marriage vows.
♀ Women seek casual sex and one-night stands for fun or to escape loneliness. Their willingness sends messages of unfaithfulness. It signals to a man that she values herself poorly. She eagerly parts with her most prized possession (to a man) for virtually nothing. So easy for him! She’s unfaithful to herself. How then could or would she be faithful to one man?
♀ Blaming her ex makes her current man anticipate the same happening to him.
♀ Is she not cherished? Perhaps she’s standing up inside!
♀ Commitment is a reflection of the giver. Devotion is a reflection of the receiver in the giver’s eyes.
♀ Females have relationship management and maintenance instincts. But proficiency and expertise are developed through successful experiences. Success that comes from denying something to someone and making them accept it agreeably—for example, denying sex to boyfriends, denying selfish demands of children, denying self-centeredness to self.
More about sex and fickle females are listed in the CONTENT page in the blog header.