Tag Archives: expertise

344. Ties that bind, or not! — Their fears


Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do. Immature men make life tough, but the mature woman has the natural expertise to overcome.

 

She fears abandonment. She fears losing him above all else, whether killed, incapacitated, or a walk out. Abandonment strikes her ego as well as her heart.

 

She expects him to overextend himself, as necessary, to provide reassurances. The devoted husband sacrifices to avoid torturing his loveable wife with continual fears that weaken her appreciation for him.

 

He fears insignificance, and her eyes reflect it first. Her lack of respect and gratefulness makes his sense of significance decay. Wounding his spirit can be terminal.

 

Even slight decay can jumpstart motivational forces in him. He seeks to restore his sense of manliness—more independence, expensive toys, trophy woman, or just walk out. Mid-life crisis worsens whatever he chooses to do.

 

He doesn’t necessarily expect it, but ‘smart wife’ becomes head cheerleader for who he is and what he does. She also adds each child to the cheerleading squad.

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342. Ties that bind, or not! — Their needs


Self-interest motivates everyone to do what they do, but it also conflicts with what a spouse expects.

 

She needs a brighter future for her family. Mature women exploit their relationship expertise. They work for stable security and promote family development, closeness, and harmony. Immature women seek materialistic brighteners—more money, continuous shopping, unaffordable housing.

 

Those things are not that important to men. Their male nature focuses more on the present than the future. Wife expects husband to respond favorably to her wishes about their future. However, it takes skill so as not to interfere with his near-term thinking, interests, and plans.

 

Mature wives focus and coach husband on building and sustaining their marriage. Immature wives pressure husband for greater effort, for more and better of whatever he does. (When he never measures up, it sends loud messages that he’s inadequate and may even be insignificant.)

 

His needs are far simpler than hers. He only needs a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’.

 

Such a place is easy to come by elsewhere. Consequently, in marriage he expects fun and comfort to compensate for loss of independence.

 

It’s her home to build and dominate. When she does it well, it’s a castle to him.

 

Tradeoffs leads to cooperation—good! Disrespect for their opposing natures leads to competition—ungood!

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216. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 09


♀ A single woman reaps her own soft-headedness when she yields sex based on a man’s words. If the conqueror’s words were backed by a strong conscience, we’d have little need for marriage vows.

 

♀ Women seek casual sex and one-night stands for fun or to escape loneliness.  Their willingness sends messages of unfaithfulness. It signals to a man that she values herself poorly. She eagerly parts with her most prized possession (to a man) for virtually nothing. So easy for him! She’s unfaithful to herself. How then could or would she be faithful to one man?

♀ Blaming her ex makes her current man anticipate the same happening to him.

♀ Is she not cherished? Perhaps she’s standing up inside!

♀ Commitment is a reflection of the giver. Devotion is a reflection of the receiver in the giver’s eyes. 

♀ Females have relationship management and maintenance instincts. But proficiency and expertise are developed through successful experiences. Success that comes from denying something to someone and making them accept it agreeably—for example, denying sex to boyfriends, denying selfish demands of children, denying self-centeredness to self.

More about sex and fickle females are listed in the CONTENT page in the blog header.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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110. Matrimony or acrimony?


How women integrate and harmonize these factors into their marriage can determine the outcome.

§  Women are driven to nest, nurture, and nestle with loved ones. This empowers them to become relationship experts, which positions them to know how to successfully swap interests with a man for marriage. Men have neither such expertise nor interest.

§  Men are driven to compete with Nature, against other men, and to control and shape human events. Their sex drive is but a subset, because women can easily tame male aggression and sex drive through social and personal values, standards, and expectations. (Men prefer fingernails on a slate chalk board to competing with women, especially their wife. Not in simple games, but in the major processes of life, in key decision-making and bringing home the bacon. Modern women do not like it, but they also do not like the marital collapse that follows when they don’t heed their man’s natural inclination.)

§  A woman instinctively needs a brighter future for her and her children. She seeks security of life, dependable relationships, and family cohesiveness. She seeks family, economic, and social stability. She seeks safety of health, life, and family. To fulfill these needs, she must give of herself to a help-mate, or do it alone and lonesome.

§  Men absolutely need only one thing, a place to flop, eat, throw his things, and prepare for tomorrow’s ‘battles’. If she does not want to maintain at least a hut for him, someone else will.

§  Women do not absolutely need a man, but they want company. Her primal want is for a solid relationship with someone stronger and more influential in shaping events that impact her and her children. She wants help to brighten her future in a society dominated by powerful people. Two men won’t knowingly share her, so one man best fulfills her wants.

§  He wants the freedom to do as he chooses, especially to make himself stand out as a competitor, his own man, a man of significance.  He seeks the freedom to lay with her or play with her, to hunt or punt, rest or nest, read or lead, think or drink, farm or harm, glean or lean, produce or reproduce, or just do something new or exciting even in his spare time.  She must pay a continuing price for him to curtail his freedom in favor of her.

§  A woman’s time focus emerges from her primal need to brighten her future. Most of her present-day concerns were handled as part of yesterday’s future. She dreams a lot about enhancing and making her relationship more solid.

§  A man’s time focus emerges from his primal readiness to compete, which mandates that he focus on today and its problems. He knows full well he can solve tomorrow’s problems, when they arrive. Where women dream about the future, his primary concern for the future revolves around what he can do today to prepare for tomorrow. 

 

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