Tag Archives: fashionable

262. Mom’s misguided intentions


Loving intentions: Mother wants her little darlings to look cute and be well liked and become more popular. So, starting soon after birth, she keeps them in the latest kids’ fashions.  

Unintended consequences compound for years:

·        Kids in the weans don’t care how they look. Other than being warm and dry, clothes bore them. Little girls playing dolls and dress up are an exception, but it doesn’t affect the rest of this story.

·        Kids learn that moms are supposed to spend time, effort, and money to make them look better, more well-liked, more popular.

·        Girls look like Shirley Temple. Mom looks like Raggedy Ann, because she lives vicariously through her daughter

·        Kids become eye candy for perverts and predators.

·        Mom prompts and kids learn to focus on looks rather than character.

·        Kids learn to deal with one conflict of the tweens. Mom says fashionable clothes generate popularity. Kids learn acceptance is both easier and more important than popularity, but they still yearn for the latter.

·        The approach of puberty makes kids more clothes conscious. They learn that fashion is not only essential, but the latest is more so.

·        Kids enter teen years, and clothes consciousness assumes its own independence. They accept late fashions as necessary to their appearance and, hence, acceptance by peers and potential for popularity.

·        Fashion statements become critical for one’s popularity. Independence must be shown. Looking different from one’s parents crowns this emerging independent spirit.

·        Mom must pay, but taste belongs to kids. They fully expect to stay fashionable in teen years, because mom awakened the spirit in the weans and tweens.  

·        Mom liked the kids being fashionable, when she set standards, shopped, and selected. After puberty, she objects to teen independence, style, fashions, and costs. Too extreme for her.

·        Mom remembers having heard that clothes make the person. She now sees her priceless kids attired so different from her expectations.

·        Teen years fill up with family squabbles over style, substance, standards, costs, and choices of attire.  

·        Self-esteem takes a hit. Teens assume that mom no longer likes them. She changed so drastically when they wanted to define what makes them look good, well liked, and popular.  

·        Until mom’s self-imposed problems arose, husband/father/stepfather was largely ignored. His interests don’t lie in keeping kids fashionable.

·        To men, clothes make the man, not the boy. Childhood is for play. Being well liked is far less important then becoming well accomplished and prepared for adulthood.

·        He’s ill prepared to solve the unintended consequences of mom’s good and loving intentions.

Such multiple consequences haunt throughout the teen years and harsh feelings may linger beyond.

NOTE: I’m not against fashion, fashionable or fashion statements—for adults. Keeping kids in the latest fashions treats them as adults, and that’s the problem. Good intentions smash family harmony after they pass through puberty. I hope to publish more on family disharmony caused by elevating kids and treating them as adults.  

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201. Sex and the fickle girl — Part 08


♀ If she doesn’t dominate the courtship agenda, she won’t have much power in any other arrangement—except separation.

♀ “We are mutually co-dependent,” she imagines. Women think or hope that men are like females in their thinking, habits, and urge to constantly be together—wrong!

If she does not like herself and love being a female, she will not appreciate any man for very long—except the older, father figure.

If she stands for nothing but the fashionable, she will fall for what’s new—including another man.

If women don’t condemn what embarrasses them, they undermine their self-respect and miss opportunities to gain the respect of men for female modesty.

Marriage boils down to this: She chose him. As the relationship expert, she’s responsible to qualify him and place value on whatever he’s selling. Then, as the buyer, she makes whatever adjustments are necessary to live with what she ‘purchased’.

Modern women use sex, hope, and loving affection to bond their future with a man. But short relationships show it does not work very well.

Instead of making men prove they are worthy of her as the buyer and him as the seller, modern women reverse those roles in order to have a boyfriend.

 

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120. Choices determine life


First, the way we dress plays a major role in how we behave. People judge behavior. Therefore, our attire and grooming generate judgments about us, and people act on those judgments when they deal with us.

Second, we are who we associate with. So, dressing like our peers catalogues us. It breeds stereotypes. As mother so correctly stated, “Birds of a feather flock together.”

Third, dressing up improves part of one’s appearance, so it brings self-gratitude, which brings happiness with oneself, which improves the picture one has of oneself, which breeds self-confidence and greater ability to deal successfully with others.

Fourth, when women dress up they make my world prettier. Of course, women respond that they care little about brightening this man’s world, but I’m not the only man out there. If women don’t want to light up the world men live in, men are released to uglify in their own style. In the end, the way women dress and groom themselves shapes the real world for all of us.   

A WOMAN DRESSES AND GROOMS HERSELF:

©      For comfort to please herself.

©      With class to show her self-confidence.

©      Prettily to feel good about herself.

©      Distinctly to attract a man’s attention.

©      Sloppily if she just doesn’t care.

 ©      As a hottie to avoid being called a nottie.

©      Femininely if she wants respect and recognition for who she is.

©      Professionally if she works proudly in her job.

©      Masculinely if she’s bitch or butch.

 ©      Gaudily if she’s weak at reading other people or insensitive to or disdainful of their judgments.

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